823. - Chris & Jason

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0:47Jason Stewart:how long gone is here we are recording live from chicago saturday afternoon 4 39 p.m it's an odd time for us to to pod but you know life on the road we were in Minnesota yesterday great show and Sunday tomorrow our normal recording day I'll be at Wrigley all day long eating Wrigley dogs eating my Dodger dogs over there at the Cubs game I'm so bummed at baseball fans at this hotel like this hotel Pantera is here and every guy who I've ever tried to avoid in my life wearing Cubs merchandise is here no offense to the team i just i forget that it's uh such a big deal let's say yeah i was yeah we're staying in a hotel that has pantera a family reunion a college reunion a wedding extremely busy maybe fish is here i don't think so i think fish is in town i don't think it's in town no they're noah who manages josh was like at least you guys don't have to see fish and now I realize what he was talking about.

1:54Jason Stewart:I mean, would you rather be around at a hotel full of fish fans or Pantera fans? Fish, hands down. Because you've already seen what Pantera has to offer. Fish fans or just rich guys? Or I mean, the ones that are saying a beep hotel. Yeah, good point. I mean, I think in general, a fish audience is more affluent than a Pantera audience. Plus, even though both of them - Which is so interesting because, you know, just they have such the stoner burnout stereotype for decades and now the only people that can afford to go to a fish or a dead show or upper middle class or uh or higher yeah at least at least i mean i'm sure there's still some um do they have wookies they have wookies at fish or is that grateful that exclusive they have to there has to be some i didn't i don't want i don't want to as you i would want to f up the nomenclature so i just wouldn't want to offend any of our dead heads yeah what is a fish fan called yeah so yeah we're here we're getting it done how are you feeling bro um i know we were in the airport so today i did something i've never done before as i continue to just uh you know break through walls that i've set up for myself but we had a little time at oh at the excuse me at the airport in minneapolis and they have airport chiropractic available it's 69 and you love the art of chiropractory and you said why not go to the best of the best to where as you said as you said i am a crack addict and i had to get my fix and i have to say you you ran into your local dealer i got rocks i am i am still sort of i got i got 11 videos from every angle there was a neck there was a neck most of them not flattering There's a neck crack that sent chills in a positive way down my spine, and now I feel a little letharge marge.

3:46I feel a little lethargic.

3:49Jason Stewart:Okay, you were laying, is this the one where you're laying face up, and then he pulled your head straight back, or is this a twister? Twister. Okay, so this is where you were laying face up. And he moved your head to one side. In a rapid succession where I'm fully relaxed. And he got your shoulder up a little. He did some nice, yeah. Because my body's feeling a little tense because I was seated next to a fat person on the plane. And I had a window seat and I was squished up against the wall. And I'm not exaggerating when I tell you this. My left arm, I'm feeling some numbness and tingling. And it hasn't gone away since big boy got up.

4:31And I don't know what to do.

4:32Jason Stewart:this feels like class action lawsuit this feels like i wouldn't want to do that i don't want to do that to our delta la familia but it feels like somebody's got to fucking pay if i mean i don't think you're the one who should come out of pocket i agree i'm glad that you see my plight usually sometimes you don't believe in my causes the same way no no no well i mean with what i'm dealing with with the medical system i'm i'm ready to bend him over i mean delta is not i don't want to bend delta over i want to be in their good graces but if you are on a plane and the person sitting next to you squishes your claustrophobic wet little body into the corner and it was a wet little body i was sweating it was so hot 100 degrees in your we're sitting on the tarmac big dog sits down i hate window seats anyway i hate them and i was like oh it's not a big deal it's a short flight i'm not gonna worry about i'm not gonna next time i get the window a little think you would be nice just saying go ahead i thought you for first class window look you go doesn't matter it's only anywhere else on the plane that it matters okay in my first class don't count if it's two seats too today's first class is not was not first though i agree i agree but that's that's a regional that's a regional i just i don't i just think that when he plopped down i want to paint the bit so there's three rows you were in the window this is delta comfort plus comfort from LaGuardia to DC Minneapolis LGA MSP yeah to MSP and and I'm sitting on the window and this guy is in the middle this giant guy and he's yeah the way his arm bow in the middle the way his arms position leave me no space so I have to slouch my shoulder down like I can't use the armrest armrest is off limits and i'm being pushed into the other you know into the wall basically by his girth and it won't give if you're in the aisle the plane wall and this brick house ain't given so and then there was another guy on the aisle and i i was about to have a normal weight size normal body size that guy in the aisle okay i i was like i have to get up it's an hour in i got another hour to go or whatever i'm starting i'm sweating i'm like fucking my body hurts i can't watch any more fucking reels and so i get watch reels can't chew on a uh on a xanax no so i get up i go to the bathroom and the other guy goes to the bathroom too and as we have a little exchange in front of the lavatory where he says all we need is you to get 10 000 steps a day is it too much to ask i believe he was talking about our our middle seat friend and um that made me chuckle because this guy didn't seem like just by the look of him he didn't seem like a shit talker to a stranger in the way right right and the joke was good the joke landed he's not the type of person to talk mess on another person he's not ableist he's not waitest but i'm not waitest either i think do y 'all but don't make me pay for it yeah yeah yeah you can do whatever just don't kiss in front of me right exactly Exactly, same thing.

7:41Jason Stewart:It's a tough one because it's very awkward to ask. I asked the steward, the male stewardess. You asked the flight attendant, hey. I was like, bro, I'm getting really... These mashed potatoes are too salty. Anything else in the kitchen? Well, I was just like, dude, I get really claustrophobic. This is like a new thing. Is there an aisle seat anywhere on the plane? I'll move, sit on 40E as long as it's on aisle. And he was just like, sorry, bro. You'll sit in the back with the chickens. You don't give a shit. And I was like, all right, so you're saying there's not a – so there wasn't a single ILC on the plane, so I stayed squished in my corner.

8:16My body is destroyed. My mind is destroyed. Wow. I've recovered now somewhat. I'm 60%. If you had to ballpark the weight of this person in pounds. At least three.

8:31Jason Stewart:At least three. But it's not about that. It's about the girth. Okay, okay. So he was not necessarily... He wasn't the biggest guy I've ever seen. He was just the way that he positioned... He wasn't a perfect circle. He just happened to cast a very wide net. Yeah, it was just an unfortunate seating position. And I've never experienced this before. Like literally in all my years of flying, I've never had this happen to me before. You've never been sardine before. Because I usually will do anything not to be in a window seat because of my hydration patterns. I'll do anything to not sit next to a fact.

9:02Jason Stewart:I mean, yeah. My hydration patterns, I can't get up 10 times and step over people. your hydration patterns yeah what a what a nice way to put it thank you i try i need to try to remember that honestly it's yours okay i'm gonna take that and then you can take flight attendant from me and we'll call it a male steward it lets them know who's boss it's a little bit of a little humbling agent who's the boss you yeah yeah me i'm the fucking customer bro i'm sweating i'm Squish. Give me some fucking Biscoff, Stuart. I need something. Jason Stewart ass. What if it's a woman, though? Do you call her a female, Stuart?

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12:32Jason Stewart:Don't sleep. No, that's Stuart S. That's clear. Okay. These are old school terms, bro. Where have you been? Well, I tend to it's too modern for me. I've been in the new school where actors are called actors regardless of their genre. Sorry. sorry that ain't what we're doing just a cold i ain't calling my wife my partner i ain't calling an actress an actor sorry i'm old school that ain't country i'm kiss my like when chloe 70 posts i love actors and it's a woman i'm thinking to myself what about actress you know she posts these tributes on on social media anyway normally people will say however chloe use chloe as the North Star.

13:23She's a North Star in many realms.

13:24Jason Stewart:In many of the obvious realms, but more so what would Chloe do? What would Chloe think about this? I think you should follow Chloe's suit. I got in trouble for calling something a purse, too. Instead of bag. Not in trouble. Somebody's like, did you just say purse? I'm like, yeah, it's a fucking purse. It's a Tom Brown that's shaped like a giraffe. What am I supposed to call it? Bag, I guess? well I mean that's not like a shit that's not a bad term no it's not a bad term but it is gendered no it's not a man carries a purse A$AP Rocky carries a purse every day Jacob Elordi's walking around Nicholas Holton is Prada purse it's what it is it's either a duffel bag or a purse or a tote bag but if a man is carrying a bag that has female aesthetics or possible female traits, one could say, look at this guy's man purse, parentheses derogatory.

14:25See, here's the thing. I would never say man purse because I'm actually not gendering the purse. That's what, see? Open your third eye, bitch.

14:32Jason Stewart:Don't be a broken clock twice a day. No, I'm serious. I would never say man purse or merse. That's disrespectful. Purse is an object that can be worn by man, woman, child, or animal. yeah i think i think maybe more so it doesn't even offend those because of the sexist gendered items i think it's more just simply antiquated yeah and people find it to be peculiar to hear like when i say what's good for the goose is good for the gander to amine and he says what the hell are you talking about we're look we're old school cats i don't know what to say this happened to me this happened to me the night when i was i was at this hermes dinner purse not bag adam and eve not adam and steve the list goes on hold your horses i was at this i was at this hermes dinner and i was sitting across from the ceo of starbucks howard schultz howie if you're listening let's build and his wife and they were they were lovely they're really nice but they were talking to me they're asking me all these questions about myself and about how long gone and I kept saying yes sir and yes ma 'am because they're much older than me.

15:41Okay.

15:41Jason Stewart:Well, we don't need to hit them with the much. And then finally she was like, what's up with the yes sir and yes ma 'am? And I was like, I just can't help it. I'm just like wired that way. I just can't. I mean, you're just so visibly old. No, Sheila, are you crazy? This woman looked fucking good. She's well-maintained. Howard too. Howard has some nice white teeth. Oh, that Starbucks ain't fucking him up. The Pike place ain't hitting the teeth, I guess. He's like, oh, I have a, there's a spray for that you'll get it in a couple years but i was just like i can't i really can't hit him with the i'm a southern no that is what i was like literally i was just raised like this i don't mean it i don't mean it in any way except like a nice one i don't know i don't you didn't bring up the dollar amount in terms of their income to yours so you didn't bring that up at all no i kept that kind of i kept that to myself i didn't want to get into i didn't want to embarrass them well yeah i mean it would be just their philanthropic efforts alone would dwarf my measly salary of course nobody does that i don't want to but i was like damn i really do be talking antiquated sometimes but i can't i think people get a kick out of it mostly it's been too long i can't unlearn it i just can't and you shan't no i know i know so it's funny when this is like when somebody has their like uncle who's just set in their ways you know what i mean don't do that I see what you're doing.

17:01I see what you're doing, and that's not – I'm not that. I see what you're doing.

17:08Jason Stewart:You got a chalkboard. You're drawing a picture of a cat, and I'm just pointing at it and saying cat. That's all. You're the one who's the artiste. Hey, bro, whatever you say, I'm, as always, not guilty. As always. Yeah, we ain't guilty. Congratulations to Charlie and George. Oh, yeah. Tying the knot. Over there at Hackney The Hackney Court Fans will know that it's a location Where FK Twigs filmed one of her recent Music videos Was it for a song? Because I've never heard one It was for choreo Congratulations George looked great I think Charlie was wearing Vivian Westwood Which is very British and I appreciate that I agree I'm very happy for them because I think that they probably, do you think collectively they've smoked more cigarettes than any other couple?

18:03Jason Stewart:I mean, their age, maybe. How are you and Carolyn? But not in general. Okay, not in general, sure. Yeah, they're not smoking. You know, I found out recently that Jennifer Aniston smokes Winston's. Isn't that cool? Jenny's hitting whinnies. When you're that rich and you look that good and you're like, I don't give a fuck. Oh, God, I just need a Winston.

18:25when they when the rachel actually means smoking two winston's but back to back do you think she

18:30Jason Stewart:got that from brad how where where do you think that came about i mean i don't it could just be i mean she's from new york which so it's not like because to me that's like a southern mom in the 80s thing so who knows where she picked it up it's it's cool though it's a nice wrinkle it's a nice wrinkle you know what i mean like no pun intended it's like a nice and also how she's gone this far under the watchful eye of everyone and I don't think I've ever seen a photo of her smoking. She's a pro. She's a pro. How do you think she does it? Bathroom? No, I just think that when you have 100 acres in Montecito, you can sort of hit one of your areas and privately hit a butt.

19:10Jason Stewart:And then I guess the hotels that she's staying at have restricted visibility. Yeah. I mean, you can smoke You could smoke a cigarette out on this taras right here. I know I could. And somebody with a telephoto lens could snap a photo of it quite quickly. Yeah, I don't know if... I think they haven't been after her like that for a long time. Maybe I'm wrong. I mean, I've seen pictures of her and her buddy Jimmy Kimmel. I mean, I'll see her on a yacht somewhere. That's a great place to smoke. I think she's been famous for so long that she's good at it. I think it's a skill that you acquire. Something to be admired and respected.

19:43Jason Stewart:Yeah, super cool. I've never done an Aniston impression before It's still wild When you're at these hotels Like we're at right now I've never smoked in a hotel room in my life Actually no I have once But the windows were open But what kind of hotel was it? Carlisle You were like sitting by the window Yeah that's fine I was doing Libertine's Kate Moss style smoking Yeah you were Kate Half in half out I've smoked a cigarette at the Chateau Marmont before in a room. That doesn't count. Actually, I mean, it does count, but they give you ashtrays. Yeah, they allow it. So they don't allow it. They encourage it.

20:23I remember once getting at the Soho Grand when it was really popping. I was smoking a joint. Windows closed. Door closed. Smoke alarm starts going off. I'm fucking high as hell. Giant security guard comes up, knocks on the door. and he's like i just played dumb i was just like oh i don't know man i guess i don't know i don't know what's going on you act like you called them yeah i literally was like oh finally you guys got here i was like yeah i don't know dude i don't know what to i don't know what to tell you and ever since then nothing that was it they kind of just they knew that if they came up there i would stop obviously because it's you know but problem the smell i know i used to smoke weed in

21:06Jason Stewart:hotel rooms all that's what i was gonna ask because i've never done it before i would put i I would, you roll up a towel. Show me how, Chris. Put it in front of the door, like the bottom of the door. And then you just fucking blow down. Some people do it in the bathroom because the steam, like you turn the shower on and the steam helps, you know, the smoke, I guess. And then you could put the shower cap over the smoke detector, which is a move. Yeah, I mean, I think it's, I just, it was, because this was before weed, you could, like, I could go on the street, but it was like still like a thing, you know.

21:37Whereas now it's obviously no rules at all.

21:40Jason Stewart:yeah I'd be smoking everywhere on the street but it's you know sometimes you don't want to do that it's nice to have a little this is perfect the terrace the terrace is it's nice don't jump now no no no I wouldn't yeah so we were we were in Minneapolis thanks to everyone who came out thanks to everyone who streamed us on veeps I think the veeps I think you still get it seem to go well yeah I think you can watch it still for the next day. Yeah, I think you have 48 hours. Thanks for Hamilton for coming and playing some songs. He was in town for a festival. Made his way over. Sounded great. We had a fun...

22:22The Minneapolis hotel run-ins were A +, with this Yacht Rock festival in town.

22:28Jason Stewart:Yeah, we were staying at a hotel where a lot of other bands were in town, and there was a big festival that had Green Day and Fall Out Boy and 311 Sablon. Hozier. Hozier. Friend of the show Hozier. Couldn't make it down to the turf club but we did get to hang out with Fallout Boy. We had a Pete Wentz lobby run in which brought me back to 2007. You started getting a little warp tour jitters? I was getting my warp tour jitters. But he did tell me something funny because he sat down and talked to me for a little while before you came down and he was like you know your co-host gave me the confidence to wear straight edge shirts when i'm not straight edge and i was like what what do you mean he's like i saw a picture of him at some point smoking a cigarette in an earth crisis shirt and i was like you know what fuck it i can do this too i wonder what pete's actually doing though he's i mean i don't think he's probably having a negroni on a sunday afternoon but still it's a cool it was a funny it was a very funny thing to point out in in a 10 minute conversation i gave him the confidence to do something that he shouldn't have done yeah but then we saw a picture of him on stage wearing an endpoint shirt i mean he's really about it i'm trying to pull up the saw you here and wanted to talk earth crisis shirts we're just talking i was talking about the snapple snap case shirt i had that um yeah well i'm glad that i gave pete the confidence to uh i'm trying to think of a cool straight edge i mean i don't think it's i think if i don't know i think if you were there the first time it's fine i think it's a fine i think it's just like it's a t-shirt i guess if you have a security guard with you who's really going to check you that's a great point yeah i mean actually that i mean fsu will find you bro you know that yeah fsu they're going to find you and get the selfie it depends what kind of show well i also saw atlanta just kidding i all nothing but love to my fsu family love saw saw legendary atlanta musician butch walker in the lobby as well my king which i hadn't seen him in a long time um he's your peewee long way yes yeah exactly yeah yeah but yeah it was a funny it was a funny because there was also some sort of rodeo and i just need to ask this because you're the only dog owner i really associate with that often when people bring a dog to a hotel have you ever done that absolutely not okay because it seems treacherous and difficult but you're paying are you paying extra i think some hotels either don't allow them at all only allow them if it's you know emotional if you have the paperwork hypoallergenic some will allow them for a fee and then some hotels advertise as being pet friendly and you know come on down i just i just yeah i saw a guy with like three dogs and i'm like you have three dogs in one hotel room he was walking them yeah when i see that it i mean you know if you bring your dog to the hotel and you have a very good reason that's fine but if you just can't be without the dog you and fido just have separation anxiety you're gonna you know fire up that better health because better help help you've said that too many times to fuck that up i know fire up my brain's a little fry i'm trying to save my mental for the stage in a few hours yeah but yeah it's a mental it's a mental thing you gotta you what you should want a vacation from your your dog i agree yeah absolutely every day you have to feed and walk and yeah if you're going to enjoy the time away from that dog yeah if you're going to minneapolis for the weekend find a sitter yeah and there's so many people who want your dog oh yeah i mean let me just like for free there's so many people who i mean you could you could pay them you know give them to a friend a parent or whatever like people want to watch the dogs it's not like they're going to be sitting in some cage and we're going to get mo for the weekend when you're at the four seasons yeah i get it They're getting selfies.

26:42Jason Stewart:They're getting baby cam monitors. They're getting the whole thing. Because don't they send you pictures? They do, yeah. What if you said, I'm good? No cap. This is a service I use all the time, Jason, because I'm not like you. I'm not super handy. I don't have a toolbox. Thank God there's TaskRabbit. So when I need some of my art hung or something put together, maybe some shelving units or whatever it may be, I always call TaskRabbit and a nice young person with a backpack stocked with tools and other useful items shows up and takes care of any problem I have. And the best part is I can search for them based on cost, skillset, availability, client reviews.

27:21So I know who's showing up. I know they're going to do a good job and I know I'm not going to have to, you know, kind of run away when they come inside.

27:28Jason Stewart:But Chris, I know how to do stuff. I'm handy. But then, you know, as you get older, time is money, money is time, certain projects, you know, the gate needs a new coat of black paint, you know, it's been hot or whatever. I could do it, but it's starting to look pretty nice to go on TaskRabbit, pay a professional to come over and do it. The cleanup's going to be done. The disposal of the shit's going to be done. It's exactly what you want. And quite frankly, it's worth the money. Never hang another TV as long as you live. Just call TaskRabbit. When life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get$15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com on the TaskRabbit app using promo code HOWLONG.

28:05Taskers book up fast, especially for same-day tasks, so book trusted home help today. That's$15 off your first task using promo code HOWLONG with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. Labor Day savings are happening now at the Home Depot with select appliances starting at$399. Plus, save up to an extra$1 ,000 and get free delivery on appliance purchases of$998 or more. Get a Whirlpool laundry tower featuring industry-first UV clean technology designed to reduce bacteria in the wash without fading fabrics. Plus, with great prices at the Home Depot, you can save on select appliances designed to make laundry day easier.