838. - Chris & Jason

27:02Jason Stewart:And you're not like a food pairing, like I got to have my wings and my Bud Light kind of vibe, or I need my athletic IPA with my cauliflower taco or whatever it is. Damn. The shade is palpable. So like when I go and eat Korean food. Sure, you got to have a brusque. I just have to have a terra or a height or a obi. it just cuts it so well. It's the perfect dance. If I go get sushi, I love a Sapporo draft injected into my veins, daddy. I think that is actually something that I, if you told me, like Chris, only have Estella 0.0 with these three foods and you'll, then I would probably, then I would get it.

27:50I think I just don't, my brain doesn't work like that. I would take your advice and it would probably work. You know what I mean? But I just, I don't think like that.

27:57Jason Stewart:I could Lee, a white boy to water, but I can't make him drink. Actually, you can lead me to water, I'll drink all of it. You lead me to an alcoholic beer, I can only have a couple slurps. Yeah, that's exactly what it is. You got a seawater diet. I see water, I drink it. That's dead ass. That's what I'm working with. That's what I'm working with. Speaking of food, there was a little Grub Street article I saw pop up about the server spiel the yeah yeah the spiel has become a scourge why are servers suddenly so talkative you read this right oh yeah yeah we talked about this though a little bit and i i'm just like this is something that's been going on for an eternity but it just it's such a case-by-case basis it doesn't feel like it's more prominent now than it was a year ago for me i maybe maybe i mean you and i both go out to eat quite a lot like definitely more than most people and I feel like I only experienced that one in six times or something.

28:59Jason Stewart:Yeah, I don't really experience it that much. And you're right. Did we already talk about this on the pod? I'm sorry if we did. No, no, I don't think we did. Okay, just like IRL and our own personal convos. Yeah, I would say one in six sounds about right. I don't think the spiel has suddenly become more prominent. I think it's something that peaked maybe eight years ago when people really had to explain family style. But I think... It's bigger plates, and you reach onto the plate yourself and get your portion. When they would try to figure out, okay, per person, we have seven here. I'm going to say two to eight things from the blue menu and three to five from the square portion of the purple.

29:47Jason Stewart:They would try to figure out their own like language and formulas versus like we'll do anything but say appetizers mains and desserts we'll it has to be from that's from our medium bite section and we recommend seven to 12 items for a group of this side i do remember that i mean i think that i remember telling this story on this podcast is a couple years ago when i was in austin and i was with megan and goots and we had done that thing for urban outfitters at south by southwest and we went to a restaurant that came highly recommended to me and I told you that the server read the menu word for word all the way through yeah yeah yeah and that is the last time I remember it being like so over the top that like I couldn't even look at her I couldn't keep a straight face because it was so stupid but that's that's that's years ago at this point you know yeah I've I've been in those situations and I can't I always laugh halfway through I was like oh this bitch is really gonna read the whole motherfucker to me as if we don't have eyes at work and the problem with when when they run down the whole menu it's so like auto autopilot in their brain media training there's no emotion there and they so they run through it as fast as possible they speed run the menu so then and then you go back and like the uh the 17th thing that you ordered did you say that was with radicchio or radishes i don't remember you know uh you never you don't recall any of that info at all i think one interesting thing I'd like to a TJ thought I think the servers have stopped doing the spiel so much and I think that the servers they get a read on who is sitting at the table and they stereotype you and then they judge how much hand holding we're going to need based on how you are looking, interacting talking, all that stuff and I think if you get the spiel a lot there's a high probability you look like a motherfucker that needs a spiel more than the average job.

31:42I think that's a good server and it's such a skill in itself to be good at that job because it's very difficult and people are awful. I think that the good they can look at you and tell like you know if I'm with my parents they'll lean in a little more on maybe helping us out but if it's me and you or me and Al or whatever they're like alright this asshole knows what he wants. I don't need to try to upsell him on the caviar or the truffles. It's not.

32:08Jason Stewart:And also, if you are really that... Whenever it happens to me, I'm kind of amused by it. It's like, oh, you're really going to do it. It's the same. It's funny to me. Same. If it really does grind your gears that much, then I would say you're a pussy for not stepping in. Hey, I'm going to stop you right there, chief. I know how to read a menu. We're all good. Come back in a couple of minutes and we can do our order. there's ways of saying letting the server know that i don't need you to read all 10 commandments to me and what the blah blah blah is yeah if you if it really bugs you that much like if i'm really allergic to peanuts that much i'm gonna tell delta and they're gonna say no fucking m &ms allowed on this flight you can't even bring the bag bitch you know what i mean imagine bringing my five pound bag of pm and m's and there's some fucking dork that's gonna die check this bag bro i gotta throw these throw them in the bag uh uh yeah i i think that that story feels um i mean obviously the the writer it probably happened to them several times you know in the recent in recent i'm sure the writer is a celebrated food writer that is much better and knows more about food than i do i'm just saying i'm just i'm just saying that i think this is such a per case basis it's tough to like call it a trend is what i'm saying yeah the if this were huberman we would say there's not enough data point sets on this case study you know you know we need it's just one food writer in one sect of a city and wait does this motherfucker have uh his account is private maybe that's weird that he would have his account private isn't it whatever no it's not writers aren't good at instagram i mean that's not he's the food editor of the new york magazine anyway alan that's not their medium time for you to step in but then i guess you know if we if we he took all the advice that we gave him then he wouldn't have an article to write for grub street so he no i mean he needs to have this water not run off his back like a duck what i'm saying to you what i'm saying to you is i think he's right and we're right like i think it's i think it's if that happened to you that many times and you're the food editor at new york magazine you absolutely should write about it because there's a lot of people who it's probably happened to as well that will relate to this and in this you know timely fashion i guess it is kind of interesting because I agree with all that.

34:24Jason Stewart:As Americans or just people in the world have become more educated and knowledgeable about food, I think now more than ever, more people know about food and trends and all these new ingredients and methods and cuisines that were, you know, even five years ago, a lot more unknown. But also, we've collectively gotten dumber. So you would think that our food literacy has increased so much. so we should not need an explanation of what you know this uh mackerel slider is or whatever we should not need to have our hands held for that but also maybe we they've they tried it and it didn't work you know we tried to let you guys read the menu with your eyes and assume that you knew what the dover sole was but we were wrong i mean dude look if you if you're the fact that we're still going to fourth wave coffee shops that have more merch than menu and there people are asking what matcha is yeah i i i mean i feel like i feel like it is necessary but the skill in is knowing who needs it and who doesn't without having to launch into it first you know what i mean but like a visual that's the real skill and i think a lot of people especially in like new york and la possess that it's user error user always user always user shout out alan come on the pod okay everyone this weekend i don't i want to know it was it was hot on the internet and in california america but you are out amagansett far out past the breakers how much of uh trump's potential death don't go ever clear mode on me right now yeah so out there out there in amagansett was was everybody at all the farmers markets and the all the whatever the lube stores was everyone like damn trump's really do you think trump has died was this a big talking point out there the only person i heard talk about is trump dead was you i i had not heard i had not heard that until no that and that's not that's saying that that i am obviously even though i'm near a body of water i am still hopelessly online i did not start seeing that chatter until you mentioned it a few days ago to me directly okay okay which is but i mean i i know it's real i'm just saying it it's it strangely wasn't coming across my tl as much as college football or Taylor Swift or whatever was happening.

36:47Jason Stewart:Thank God we're a duo, huh? Cover all the bases. We gotta cover all the bases. So the rumor was online that DT hadn't been seen in a while and he was dead. This is basically what we're talking about. You've heard us talk about BetterHelp for a long-ass time, but I don't know that we've ever actually talked about how much people love the service when they actually use it. You can go check it out for yourself. You don't have to believe me and Bozo here. you can go to betterhelp.com slash reviews and you can read all the amazing reviews in real time. They're updated every day with hundreds of people saying how much they love BetterHelp and how helpful it's been to them.

37:23Jason Stewart:They're going to be great reviews and you can see like, oh, this person recommended this therapist for this one specific thing and that's what I'm interested in as well. Let the reviews help you find who you need to look for and with over 6 million people having already used the BetterHelp app globally, you know, this consistent feedback from real users makes it easy to see why so many people continue to use BetterHelp. See the reviews, see what stands out and see if BetterHelp is right for you. Visit betterhelp.com slash how long that's better h-e-l-p.com slash how long. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince.

37:57Jason, as you know, but some of our listeners might not, Quince specializes in everyday staples that work harder like their ultra soft organic cotton tees and premium mongolian cashmere sweaters i i like my navy blue v-neck uh cashmere sweater i wear it all the time it's a little hot right now but it's a go-to uh it's versatile timeless and it transitions seamlessly from a casual work day to a big dinner out yeah and

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38:56Get free shipping and 365-day returns now available in Canada. Let's go. And the UK, mate. q-u-i-n-c-e.com slash howlong. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Jason, if I'm not mistaken, we're both on the computer right now. One reason we're able to dominate in the web space is because we've used a platform like Squarespace for years to make sure our shit is right and tight.

39:19Jason Stewart:Yeah, Chris, a bad website will kill your brand and a great website that's fun to use, unique, and intuitive, everything is where it should be, where you want it to be, and it looks good, it loads correctly. It's not bogged down with some weird code that your friend messed up. You're actually going to grow the brand. You're going to get paid all on the website, and it's going to look professional, and it's going to have the exact cool, interesting domain name that you wanted. And all of this happens in one place, Chris. Oh my God. It doesn't get better than that. Squarespace has everything you need.

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40:06Jason Stewart:Wishful thinking. Yeah, he cleared his schedule this weekend, and everyone was like, oh. They were already flying all the American flags at half-mast in Orange County just in case. So you're saying his schedule was cleared, so people were like, this guy's not on the golf course this time. He's six feet under. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I guess he's alive now, but then people are saying the photos that they're posting are from January of him. I mean, I think people, when, when the whole hand drama kicked off and everyone was like, I'm a licensed nurse practitioner. Yeah. And I predict that Donald Trump is going to die in February or March, 2026.

40:43Jason Stewart:Based on blah, blah, blah. He has conjunctive kidney failure, sepsis disorder, blah, blah. They were coming back to roost. They were like, it's our time. We were right. And then people were like, okay, we know that Trump is probably going to die in the next year, we'll call it. And that means it could happen in February or that means it could happen maybe this weekend. You know what I mean? A year is 12 months. A year is 12 months. Can't argue with that. Can't not argue with that. But you're saying that, so there's pictures of him that the White House clearly posted to be like, our man's still here.

41:16And people are diving into the metadata and they're saying, oh no, this is.

41:21Jason Stewart:I think some of his reply guys, some of Trump army were - Isn't all army Trump army? I see what you're saying. I see what you're saying. Like sorority sister amateur golf congresswomen from the 19th district of Tennessee or whatever. They're like, I met with president today. And then they'll post a photo of him looking good and smiling and happy. and then they're like this photo is from 2024. Yeah, we know this. This was published at an earlier date. But it would be cool. I mean, I was wondering, I was asking you and Cho, like is it a thing where they're like, Trump's like, let him have Labor Day.

42:02Jason Stewart:Let him have it. I mean. We'll come back. We'll drop the album on Tuesday. If he's as good of American as he says he is, that is something he should do. But also, think about it. If Trump announced, I mean, not if Trump announced, if America announced, hey, Donald Trump, He passed away quietly in Mar-a-Lago. That would make this the gnarliest Labor Day weekend in the history of time because all the people that hate him would be celebratory from the rooftops. Burning Man would go loco. And then all the people who loved him, they'd be pouring whatever, the Hillbilly Cavassier out all week. Alcohol sales would never be the same after this.

42:43Jason Stewart:Toppling Oasis at Wembley. I think it would be the best Labor Day in history because either... It's going to make when Obama won, it's going to make that look like a fucking kid's first birthday. Yeah, oh yeah. I mean, the sales of Anheuser-Busch products... And the kid's a bitch. ...would be peaking. Yeah, Anheuser-Busch. I mean, it would be the biggest... On both sides. That's what I'm saying, though. Because if the supporters, if he dies, they're going to drink a lot to mourn. And if the haters, if he dies, the haters are going to drink to celebrate. So it's the only winner... Exactly. The only way that the alcohol industry can be revived is if Donald Trump dies.

43:19Is what we've just... He has to die.

43:22Jason Stewart:The only way the$12 trillion alcohol industry will be able to survive... Hey, bro. No, no, you have a good point. That's going to be a big sales boost. That's the equivalent of, you know, when like 25 years ago when America blew up the Twin Towers to get a huge defense contract paycheck? I've heard that. It's the same thing, but for Donald Trump, is Tower 47? 45 and 47. his towers 45 and 47 have fallen and then anheuser-bush is the uh the boeing black ops i'm saying this contract i'm saying this because look the alcohol industry is truly under duress they're having a really tough time people aren't drinking as much it's it's there's there's data to prove big mushroom is eating their lunch yeah everybody's everybody's having their gummies and smoking their little tiny joints and you know having the time of their lives but How long gone?

44:15Jason Stewart:Tiny joints? Available soon? They're not drinking as much. I think the alcohol industry also is powerful enough to have something taken care of if you catch my drift. Something to think about. What a beautiful reason for him to die. For his last act in office, the sacrificial martyr to bump the alcohol lobby one last time. The way that we're all doing that with America we're kind of we're trying to get that last cheap money one last time before China India and Russia eat our lunch right? I think that I think that it would be they just had a meeting where Putin Xi and Modi I guess all had a new world order meeting and they didn't invite Donald Trump which is a very mean girl of them that's so sick we could only get a three top at the corner store on Friday night at 8, so Donald couldn't come.

45:15Sorry, it's super tight. Three times. It's super tight. You said it's under, how do you spell G? Putin is P-U-T-I-N. Could it be under a different name? Could it be a different name? No, it's Putin. No, no, no, but how do you spell that? Because it's not coming up in the resi. It's not coming up in the system right here. Open table's having an error. I don't know what's going on. That's really funny. I didn't know that. I think that the alcohol industry needs to be saved. But I was going to – another – sorry to keep giving so much shine to the New York Magazine family over there. But the cut, one of the last tabloids left, did allow Stephen Phillips horse to write a story about have we reached peak gay sluttiness.

46:01Party all weekend, hook up with anyone, never get an STD or even a hangover. Who says nobody's having sex anymore? I haven't been able to read it yet.

46:10Jason Stewart:straight people aren't i i read i'm about uh let's call it one third of the way through and you know we got to get steve back on the pod he really he's really thriving right now in terms of his word usage it's no i mean it's it's it's a very he's on his kind of pharaoh monch level it's okay okay don't route you know so bro you're gonna trigger me from reading this mark gronson book where I'm remembering who Smith and Wesson is. Lyrically performing, lyrically he's performing armed robberies. Of course. I just mean, I guess this concept is something that I am, you know, tangentially aware of kind of that like gay guys have more fun.

46:50Motherfucker said, gay guys have more fun than, than straight people. But, but the image, which is two backs of, it's just two gay guys, one black, one white. they're both wearing shorts but one of them has the shorts rolled down a little to show the top of the rear end with a nice tonal pink jock strap peeking out um and i i just found the image it's called the color strawberry pistachio it's a it's a powerful image is what i'm saying it's a powerful image it's a powerful image and it's cool to have an image that powerful uh with no faces in it yeah

47:26Jason Stewart:we don't need them we don't need them i mean and that's sort of poetic as the article is saying hey we're having so much gay sex the face is sort of you know it's not the point it's there if it's there fine if not no biggie it's not the point the traps i'm here for hole and pole the traps of the point yeah i just i i'm gonna be so g'd out i don't i won't remember your face tomorrow anyway well sounds good from what i have sounds good to me and the problem with that is um at a certain point you know they say that all the all the cool things in the world start and like you know the best jokes and fashion blah blah black people then gay people then you know works is all the way down to to crack ass becky over here are are if the straight people realize that GHB is a calorie-free way to get slizzered and kind of horny and we start doing it too much?

48:25Jason Stewart:Is that going to be considered appropriation? I don't think GHB will ever make it to straight people in a meaningful way. Why not? I don't know, but I'm saying I think it would have happened by now is what I'm trying to say. I've done GHB a handful of times in my early 20s, and it was only because of— It was only because I was hanging out with a drug dealer. It wasn't, I don't think that, I don't even know. It was around. Yeah, I don't know if drug dealers, I don't know if drug dealers that their customer base is mostly straight are even offering GHB. I think they think that there's a lack of communication.

49:03Jason Stewart:Just like Dick, if you're straight on the low, you got to go out and find it yourself. It don't just come to you. You got to go find it yourself. You're right. Unless you start a podcast, then it'll come to you. The GHB is flowing. well i mean i would say that i i i you know if if everyone is standing around drinking non-alcoholic beer and having a microdose mushroom gummy at the campfire as their way of getting fucked up and then gay people are on 4c 2c 4mm 12 and they're like i'm going to a rave that starts at 3 p.m you know because like it's it's all you can't even compete with it so i i I think that straight people are going to be like scared of GHB, but also GHB has like a real worker B Apple watch spreadsheet kind of system because you have to keep taking it on a schedule.

49:56Jason Stewart:You can't mix it with alcohol. So there's like, there's like Apple watch apps and trackers and timers and that you can set like every, you know, my Fitbit buzzes every 30 minutes when you have their cap full. I type in my height, my weight, and my girth, and it'll say, okay, you have to keep taking 3.9 milligrams every 72 minutes to maintain the current semi-erection at this level. You know what I mean? And I think a lot of nerdy straight people will kind of like the techie element of it. Yeah, that's a good selling point, actually. That's a good selling point. But it's such an abusive thing or a thing that seems easy to abuse because I've never done it, but I've seen other people on it.

50:39Jason Stewart:And the reputation for GHB is like that is for people who want to like fall asleep in the club level of fucked up. Like that's it. It's the antithesis of like responsible partying. So and I guess that's the same thing. we drank ever clear alcohol for hundreds of years and people will just die because they drank too much and now we have cool sippable session lagers and we don't die and we don't lose our family. Thank God GHB and prep can mix. Jesus Christ we'd be in fucking trouble. But I think it's going to take some strong soldiers that are unfortunately going to have to die on the front lines all of our kind of down low trades straights all of our straight people who have touched a dick a few times but are married and have kids you know those people who are really walking that line those are going to be the people who are going to use g first and then sort of will have to walk on their dead bodies across the river if you know what i mean yeah i'll use them as a human bridge i totally get it totally get it i totally get it yeah i'll dig into this i'll dig into this shit then don't worry about me did you see jacob alorty at the venice film festival yeah with his beautiful pants that bottega tuxedo is really most things ain't fitting like that uh on me but it looks a baggy tuxedo is a very tough thing to pull off but once again a hot guy with a mullet was somehow able to do it well he has one thing a secret thing that you don't have and the reason is all you got to do is you just have to have a perfect body yeah just perfect once you have that it's all good perfect body fame money jacob aluri has one little trick exactly did you see this did you see this um this thing that happened the us open where like a like a a millionaire ceo snatched a hat away from a child after it had been signed.

52:40I love shit. This is as good as it gets. Like, to be that out of touch, to not think this would become a thing, is also, it's a Polish player I've never heard of. That's whose autograph you're going to steal from a child? Like, at least make it Sinner or Alcaraz.

52:57Jason Stewart:Well, I read that the guy, the CEO, businessman, I think it was a Polish paving company. Oh, he's a Polish. It was a poll on poll crime. That's what Stephen Phillips' horse is talking about. So this is, you know, like in America, we have the Coldplay gotcha cam where the CEO gets caught cheating with his HR employee. His whole life is blown up, destroyed upside down just because he was trying to rub his half hard dick on the back of a girl while the fourth encore of Yolo is playing. Consensual. guy literally like an evil villain stole from a child and he's gonna go back this is worse he's gonna go it's potentially worse he's gonna go back to his job in poland and not a single problem will have happened there will be no backlash there will be no social media takedown they're not gonna pull up his old tweets he's gonna be like fuck you i'm i pave i don't give a shit and then a a company is going to hire him to pay if he's going to he's going to thrive i pave i don't give a fuck yeah i don't think this is this is this is worse to me than the cold play thing because that that is that was adults being adults like obviously there's moral implications but overall that stealing from a child uh it has a certain level of evil to it yeah it's like when you see people fight over like a foul ball and you're like dude if you're if you're an adult and the person is a child, you have to let them have it.

54:29It's going to make their... What are you doing?

54:31Jason Stewart:Especially while millions of people are watching you on television right now. Yeah, what are you thinking about, dude? That's a sad state of the human condition. It says a lot about the inner workings of your mind, unless you're Polish. I guess, speaking of Oasis, as Oasis returns to America, I saw some people posting about how the crowds are not the same as they were in Europe, which I guess is not a big surprise. Yeah, no shit. Yeah, no shit. It really makes me grateful that I got to go see them in London. And then when I saw that, or I was reminded that in America, Cage the Elephant is opening instead of Richard Ashcroft, I was really grateful that I got to see him in Europe.

55:18Cage the Elephant, one of the wildest alternative radio psyops of our lifetime. but I mean I've seen a lot of people I know who had bought tickets for New York or Chicago or LA and they went to London first and they're just they're just selling it they're like I'm fine I'm good it's not gonna it can't compare so I'm just not gonna spend the time you're eating the

55:39Jason Stewart:poutine and then they bring out the house pickles it's crazy like I'm I'm good it's crazy but yeah I mean I think that I I would probably go again if it was like offered to me and it was super easy but then part of me doesn't want to ruin the the memory and or you know pollute pollute the memory at least um yeah not that yeah that makes sense i think it would still be fun you got to hit raw and then they're like you want it again but yeah that ain't that ain't how it goes you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube as you would say so i i don't i don't know if it would i wonder if it would sully my my view or memory or if it would just be like yeah this is still sick it's just stupid people are next to me.

56:18Jason Stewart:I guess you'd have the opportunity to wear a shirt that says like, it was better in Wembley, you know, just kind of rub it into the faces of everyone. That's a good, I could get somebody to whip one of those up real quick for sure. I've got some graphic designers that could help me out with that. Let's see. I, there's a, I saw an article from Rachel Connelly in defense of the performative male. Did you read this? No, but I know her. She, where was this? Where was this posted? The guardian. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And the point being, you know, the long and short of it is sort of like, you know, we've been trying to train our men, you know, stop doing this, you know, read more, go to therapy, you know, eat better, blah, blah, blah.

57:01Jason Stewart:And now men all did it. And now we're like, ew, what is this? And she's sort of right. I mean, my words on her is like, what do you bitches want? Like she is. She is kind of right. I mean, I will make fun of these type of people, but also she does make a good point. There was societal pressure for years for men to evolve. And once they evolve, now it's like you're a freak for liking Claro and reading a book. It doesn't seem, it's fun to make fun of, but I think that is a really fair way to look at it. Yeah, because what you're asking for is something that happens, but it's just really rare and it's difficult to achieve.

57:40Jason Stewart:and it's kind of not even something that you could teach it's just like all you have to do is just be super cool and know the right way of doing everything and the right current levels of you know not too little not too much and you know it it's a it's a difficult thing to navigate and yeah i mean these guys are basically like here here's how you can have sex with me stop doing this start doing this and like cool got it i will do anything to have sex i will even i will even read this stupid book i don't i'm gonna read sabrina carpenter's really good i like love it i listen to it all the time i love the biography of joan dyden it's awesome you know and like here's how to do all this stuff and it'll make you a better person and i'll be more likely to have sex with you the problem is they don't say like you just have to do it in a way that is cool and casual and you have to make it look like you're not trying to do it and that's a hard thing to do right that's much harder than doing the actual thing you know you know what i mean like being cool about reading joan didion in public is is much harder than just doing it you know maybe the pendulum is swinging and it's swung too far in the it's paul mezcal's fault it's paul mezcal's fault i can name there's too many of these guys out here with their little mullets and little shorts and Harry as well oh Harry's part of the problem but I I give him a pass because he's my guy I mean look at him proving his stick man status just I mean all all everywhere you turn yeah so so I guess that the lesson is you can be performative as long as you're able to perform exactly well it doesn't hurt if you're you know you're really good looking rich famous that also that makes everything less performative I guess you know tip good tip that That's a harder plane to reach, of course, but if you get there, everything's a lot easier.

59:34Not just having sex with Zoe Kravitz. Everything is easier.

59:36Jason Stewart:Yeah, and don't just read whatever book is on the Dua Lipa book club that month. Dig into the archives. Go back to April. Pull something that's a little less obvious. Go back to April. Just search Service 95 in your email and pull up an older newsletter. When the bitch comes over for dinner, don't put on the August The Row playlist on Spotify. You've got to go back a couple years. May 23. Don't look too thirsty. Don't act brand new. Honestly, that's good advice. That is really good advice. What's this band? They're called Can? Okay. Oh, shit. Not Can. Can-like. Oh, this is pretty good. Yeah, this is actually pretty good.

1:00:20I've never heard this before. Never heard it before. God damn it. I was looking at Apple's new music right before we got on, and I was reminded of how much I love the Dev Hines album cover. I really, really like the cover of Essex Honey. I think it's one of the best I've seen in a long time.

1:00:37Jason Stewart:I haven't listened to it yet. Great cover, though, huh? Great cover. What does the cover remind you of? If a Burberry Odd was good? No, it feels like a really great capture of youth to me in a way that is very hard to do. Like kind of the private school uniform with the worn basketball. You're clearly walking home from school. I don't know. It just really struck me from the first time I saw it. The school uniform is untucked. It's really good. But he's got a nice tie. The only thing the tie feels, it's almost too perfect in a way that it's floating in the air. I think you probably, I mean, I think you have to manufacture a little bit of this.

1:01:19there could be a leaf blower or a i knew it i knew it this kid does not exist it is all ai

1:01:25Jason Stewart:look anything yeah anything's possible you're gonna do uh anything's possible but yeah anyway i just really like it's not above it i haven't everyone says it's a really good album i remember when his last album came out in what 2018 or something a long time ago that was the that was the record of the summer bro that was like you're gonna have you're gonna have a summer pasta party at your house that bitch is going on you know we're putting that shit on yeah i mean i'm i'm sure since not since the rye album has there not been a more perfect summer pasta we got to talk about we got to talk about before we go we got to talk about riley opelka posting so we're talking we're talking about the giant tennis player riley opelka giant i was i dm'd with a couple years ago and he wants to he was like yeah i'll come on the pod i just it just fell through did i fucking had lunch with him and interviewed him for gq and he also said he'd come on the pod and he never did But the point being is that he is dating Suju, the model that is popular in all of my group chat.

1:02:22From the show. So Jason was checking out his profile, seeing what the competition looks like, sizing him up. Tall guy on tall guy. No Maren Morris.

1:02:33Jason Stewart:Yeah, tall millionaire to tall millionaire. Got to do a little comp check. But Jason's like, wait, hold on. and then started sending me his posts and all of his posts are soundtracked with Chris music. Silver Jews, Red House Painters, all the colors. I was literally like, this is blowing my mind because I know he's into clothes. That's his whole thing. He's into clothes. He's into art. But Silver Jews and Red House Painters, that feels like a bridge too far. But I'm blown away and now I have to throw my support behind him. Okay, so fellas, let this be a lesson. this is how you performatively perform correctly exactly yeah you don't you don't show up playing tennis with the silver jews tote bag you know that's too much you just do a little here's a post of me practicing my backhand where my fucking traps look better than yours and you can see a little bit of my cum gutters poking out from the fila and i'm going to score it with a obscure but beloved post-emo.

1:03:39Silver Jews is like, it feels like a deeper cut than maybe it actually is.

1:03:46Jason Stewart:With our generations, Bob Dylan. But Silver Jews is one of the best of all time. I mean, it's one of the best of all time. I think that understanding that now. It's more powerful than a Jenner posting Apex Twin. Yeah, it's more powerful than Frank Ocean on the red carpet with a Contax T3. it's stunning me because could you imagine there's so many people out there men, women, non-binary homies who love listening to Silver Jews and all the other kind of obscure-ish esoteric, emotional, beautiful music that most people have no idea about and then you're just watching your brothers watching the tennis match and you look up this weird looking long haired tall guy he's bumping that guess what?

1:04:31Jason Stewart:that dick's getting sucked he's bumping that I guess I fuck tennis players now you know what I mean? all it takes is that one little if you haven't listened to Silver Juice this is your sign to go download American Water Jason put one of the songs on the end of the episode Purple Mountains that's the equivalent you go to a restaurant and then Riley is like I have some fresh shaved white Italian truffles but only a few I'm not going to cover you with it I'm not going to do a YouTube video where we make it rain just the correct amount of the best thing it's just going to bring the pasta up a little bit it's not going to overpower it versus i'm going to put a song on that's just like drizzling you know truffle oil that you got at ikea all over your alfredo sauce and ruining it that's the equivalent of claro posting purple mountains margaritas at the mall that that's the one jason that's that's the one it's not silver juice but it's still burman it still counts you know this is for the heads this is for the heads a little bit super i i okay you got it how long gone uh thank you guys for listening roll that beautiful berman footage we are back next week uh with more podcasts uh it's jason's birthday on what day the fourth yeah so we're celebrating it's virgo season me and joe budden we are podcasting twin sisters yeah jason jason's also going to be wearing virgo it's virgo month it's about to get messy on how long gone it's about to get messy melissa ford's joining our cast actually wanted to wait till the end to announce That's it.

1:05:57But yeah, thank you.

1:05:57Jason Stewart:New third mic. Thank you for listening to How Long Gone. And we'll see. We'll talk to you next week. Happy living day. I've drawn up all my findings. And I warn you they are candid. My everyday begins with reminders. I've been stranded on this. Played it where I've landed. Neath as gray as granite sky. A place I wake up blushing like I'm ashamed to be alive.

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