In short
The hosts (Chris and Jason) banter about celebrity sports and media, especially tennis (Naomi Osaka, Coco Gauff, Sinner, Sabalenka, Kyrgios), then pivot to SNL cast firings, DJ/streamer culture and naming conventions, live-stream celebrity appearances (Kai Cenat + Mariah Carey), and random lifestyle takes (alfresco dining, car eating/mukbangs, elbow rehab, W Hotel opening party, X Games/vert skateboarding).
Guests
Chris Black and Jason (co-hosts). No separate guest appears; a “favorite” female guest canceled at 10 p.m. the night before but isn’t present in the transcript.
Key claims
Osaka’s attitude is “stinky/unlikable,” and the “$100 million” LaBubu deal is doubted; Coco Gauff is portrayed as more relatable/normal. Tennis top players create “AI/chess” viewing with few errors, making matches boring. SNL is “toxic” per a fired cast member’s tweet; cast changes split a trio (writer/cast/others). DJ streamer monikers are getting more dorky; celebrity teams push streamers for younger audiences.
Notable examples
LaBubu naming after tennis players; Sinner’s error-free play; Kyrgios vs Sabalenka “battle of the sexes”; SNL departures (e.g., Longfellow, Emil, Marcello mentioned); Kai Cenat hosting Mariah Carey; Goop cookies in boiler suits; X Games vert vs street skateboarding; Mayo Detox elbow treatment.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOThe Cancelled Guest and Friday Recording
1:10 to 4:26
Chris and Jason discuss a last-minute cancellation and reflect on their Friday recording.
“So you're saying in that situation, you are much more likely to meet them in the middle?”
Critique of Naomi Osaka
4:26 to 10:00
Chris expresses his disdain for Naomi Osaka's attitude and public persona.
“Well, what I want to talk about first is how much I hate Naomi Osaka and her little attitude and her little woe is me shit.”
Tennis Player Personalities
10:00 to 14:00
Discussion on the personality traits of tennis players and the impact of their upbringing.
“She can't stop with the lip filler, and she's got one of the worst tattoos I've ever seen.”
U.S. Open Discussion
14:00 to 16:26
The hosts discuss the exciting yet disappointing aspects of this year's U.S. Open tennis tournament.
“There have been a few good upsets on the early matches.”
U.S. Open Discussion
17:13 to 18:14
The hosts discuss the exciting yet disappointing aspects of this year's U.S. Open tennis tournament.
“and there it was, the bike you'd been searching for.”
SNL Cast Changes Analysis
18:14 to 23:21
The hosts analyze recent cast changes on SNL and discuss the implications for the show.
“Heidney Gardner, eight years, not renewed.”
The Evolution of DJ Names
23:21 to 28:00
A discussion on the trends and changes in DJ names and their cultural significance.
“I was going to say, I know what you mean, though.”
Mariah Carey on Live Streams
28:00 to 28:23
Discussion on Mariah Carey's recent live streaming appearances and their implications.
“Ashley Simpson learned that one the hard way.”
Aging Celebrities and Dignity
28:23 to 29:49
Exploring whether aging celebrities should maintain their dignity or embrace humorous decisions.
“Well, actually, speaking of live streamers, I saw yesterday Kai Senat had Mariah Carey on the live stream.”
The Role of Fame and Coolness
29:49 to 32:19
Debating the impact of fame on the perception of coolness among pop icons.
“Like Mariah Carey's old and her fan base for her current music are just going to be kind of old hags.”
Show all 21 chapters
Mariah Carey's Career Choices
32:19 to 34:24
Analyzing Mariah Carey's career decisions and the influence of her team.
“Like she would never go on Kaisenet and go hang out in his bald sweat smelling.”
Mariah Carey's Career Choices
35:31 to 36:30
Analyzing Mariah Carey's career decisions and the influence of her team.
“difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems, or muscle weakness can be signs of a life-threatening condition.”
Reflections on Society and Success
36:38 to 42:05
Reflecting on societal values regarding success and the nature of celebrity.
Carfax and Food Inside Cars
42:05 to 43:50
Discussing the idea of reporting food-related incidents in car history.
“I would need some fucking Zins on the top and bottom.”
Alfresco Dining Experiences
43:50 to 45:42
Sharing personal experiences and preferences related to outdoor dining.
“The only place to eat is inside of a restaurant.”
Injury and Recovery Journey
45:42 to 47:45
A personal account of dealing with an elbow injury and the recovery process.
“And bro, this guy went so hard on my motherfucking elbow.”
W Hotel Opening Party
47:45 to 48:35
Discussing the anticipation surrounding the opening of the W Hotel.
“And then tonight we have the W Hotel opening party, which should be an interesting soiree.”
Nostalgia for Zune and Old Technology
48:35 to 50:18
Reflecting on the past with old technology and its cultural significance.
The X Games and Skateboarding Culture
50:18 to 52:53
A discussion on the X Games, skateboarding, and the evolution of the sport.
“Everyone in the world is like, it's great.”
Pickleball's Rise in Abandoned Spaces
52:53 to 56:00
Exploring the trend of converting empty shopping malls into pickleball courts.
“Bob Bernquist is an amazing skateboarder, but he is, but vert skateboarding is one of the most uncool things you can be good at, which is strange because regular skateboarding is one of the coolest things to be good at.”
The Pickleball Solution and Homelessness
56:00 to 57:28
Discussing the contrast between funding for pickleball courts and homelessness solutions.
“And they're like, we'll give you five grand a month and we'll move in as many pickleball courts as we can and everyone's happy.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Pros trust the Home Depot for heavy-duty storage solutions for any job site or garage. Right now, get up to 15 % off select storage and organization, impact and water-resistant totes, and shelving built to hold up to 2 ,500 pounds. Storage systems have space for all your tools and protect them in the garage, on the job site, and everywhere in between. Save time and maximize efficiency with adjustable shelving customized to your business's needs. Shop and save on pro-grade storage at the Home Depot. How pros get more done.
0:47Jason Stewart:Jason here, really quick note about the episode. The first 15 minutes is Chris's Zoom recording, so it won't sound as good. but after that we use his regular recording and it does sound good so if it bugs you skip ahead 15 but uh just want to let you know the whole episode won't sound bad like that thank you bye bye how long gone uh it is chris black and it is a warm warm september friday here in manhattan uh we're doing a rare friday recording to accommodate jason's travel schedule um our guest did cancel last night at 10 p.m but you know she'll she'll come back on at some point she's a favorite of mine so i'm gonna keep pursuing okay double m we'll come back i'm not gonna bad mouth her i i think i was wondering this last night also what up them jeans here how you guys doing shout out to all the first time listeners shout out to all the last time listeners shout out to all the nurses shout out to all the truck drivers all the nurses everybody working at cvs shout out to all the unks all the ogs shout out to all the swag twos dude shout out to all the vick mensa's out there okay so how you told me last night or you told me this morning early that she canceled last night at 10 and i know and i know nothing grinds your gears more than a same day cancellation yeah but the night before 10 p.m pr scramble i just found out letting you know seconds later i almost feel as if that is excused by you well i think it depends on the level of guest you know what i mean if it's a first-time novelist go fuck yourself if it's somebody with if it's somebody with hit records and i know that this publicist works tirelessly around the clock for 10 artists that are probably canceling and rescheduling at all times of the day, then I do feel a little, yeah, I do feel like let's cut some slack.
2:53Jason Stewart:So you're saying in that situation, you are much more likely to meet them in the middle? Yes, yes. Like with the Kevin abstract, I don't care if I ever hear from you again. You know what I mean? Like I don't give a shit. We can do it if you want, but if you're not going to show up, we're not going to do it. You say, Kevin, why don't you not meet me in the middle?
3:14but but double m i mean we've been pursuing for a while and i i know the publicist pretty well because i've worked with her on other stuff even non-pod related stuff so there is a personal relationship so the 10 p.m email feels like honestly she's going out of her way instead of waiting till 9 a.m to send me the man you know what i mean it's the responsible thing we're
3:37Jason Stewart:pulling the band-aid off uh with the amount of the as much time as possible yes as much notice as possible you know how these you know how these divas get bro they fucking you know have a couple of spritzes at five and they look at the they're like no i don't want to talk to these two buzzos tomorrow i get it i don't want to talk to these two buzzos either um but you know at least we we are able to give the listeners what they want which is just some quality time with chris and tj Yeah, we've talked to so many bands that have two male members and one female member who make 90s Brit pop inspired by the 60s.
4:16Jason Stewart:And we've talked too much about what it's like on the road and what synths you use. We need to talk about some dumb shit, baby. We're back. Well, what I want to talk about first is how much I hate Naomi Osaka and her little attitude and her little woe is me shit. But I don't know if you saw her. She lost last night. Thank God. But she had she's been bringing the boo boo's with her. Yes. Yesterday, I saw a clip where she said this one is Andre Swagasy. And I just wanted to put that on your radar. she's naming the LaBooBoos after tennis players. Do you think there's a creative director involved or do you think this is from her soft brain?
5:02Jason Stewart:Well, I think this is from her soft brain, but I know that artist Karen Rose Gold, I believe is her name. She's married to a friend of the show, Nick Catchdubs. So I know that she is outsourcing the bedazzling of the LaBooBoos, but I don't think Karen is doing the naming and the ideation. She's just getting the call and says, I want a purple one now and I want a blue one now, whatever. But I also read that she signed a four-year$100 million deal with LaBubu. I saw that too. How are you going to be mad on vacation? You know what I mean? How are you going to get$100 million to hold up? I mean, the bedazzling on the LeBouBous is very impressive.
5:57Jason Stewart:It's the only impressive part about it, honestly. I agree with that. It's quality craftsmanship, but to just hold it up, is that a$100 million bag right there? First of all, I don't believe that. And also, I heard this too. I'm not doubting any of our sources. I am doubting every source that I've read this. a twitter user with no avatar i i will doubt this i haven't seen this in a paper of record i'll say that well the one the one paper of record i've seen the real uh let's see here via tmz sports i mean as much as you want to believe tmz who knows i do i mean tmz i believe more than than most news sources that's my kind of al jazeera but uh i i think that she is getting some money from them obviously because she's doing a lot but i just i find her personality just so grating and just so unlikable and so whiny that i can't believe anyone would give her money to promote anything it just doesn't even sound believe it just it's just her delivery is is flatter than the earth it is just nothing there's just nothing there like the if i'm paying you a hundred million dollars to talk about my little toy you better be jumping up and fucking down you better be acting excited about this shit well i mean i guess she is setting a precedent for people who do not want to pretend like they don't have mental health issues or or are dealing with depression my yeah i'd be i'd have some mental health issues too if i lost that much that's what gives you mental health issues you gotta fucking that's what i but it's like life but to me i mean i i hate using the catch-all phrase that's showbiz babe but that that is showbiz babe you can go you can go work at the offices of nike if you want to be like that or you know you could be a driver of a sprinter or you know this is what i'm saying do marketing or anything you can be on the energy team out in portland send in shoes send in shoes to all the hotties downtown for the cafe forgot activation but instead you are a world-class tennis player who acts like doing what you have trained your whole life to do is the worst thing that could possibly have happened to you and that's the part i don't understand i i just don't like obviously barring postpartum that's very real i don't know if that's part of her story i know she had a child with a rapper but but i just mean beyond all of that her attitude and the way she talks is just do you know what i'm saying it's like a poor pitiful me yeah there's just like something And clouding everything she says.
8:37It's just like, dude, loosen up. You're a professional tennis player. Right, right, right. Like you're not being asked to commit war crimes by your sponsors.
8:45Jason Stewart:Yeah, you get massaged after every meal. You're treated like a Wagyu beef. Twice a day. Yeah. You've worked really hard. You're really good at something. You're paid really well for it. Obviously, I know that doesn't kind of keep the demons away, but it would at least keep them away when I'm at the fucking press conference after the match you know like I could take that to my therapist's office and get through it I'm not gonna subject the American public to it yeah I mean it is a tricky one because she she does seem to have just you know a straight up stinky attitude and that's when she wins that's what I'm when she when she loses she's like oh no I only made it to this round I only made 600 ,000 this weekend for hitting the ball it's just it's just and you know if it really is that bad if your life is really this difficult and you hate the spotlight you don't want to talk to anybody all you got to do is quit and retire and be a mom you have millions of dollars you have more money than never needs to work nine percent of the people in the world never never needs to work again i just don't i don't understand rooting for her i don't understand like how that's what i'm saying you know these sponsors i'm just like well you can't drop her because then you hate mental health awareness so you have to keep paying her even though she's a sad sally all the time on camera which is just not really like nike for example a brand that obviously i love i love and have have grown up with you know there's certain sort of uh things they're trying to telegraph to the audience it's a hopeful it's like an achievement you know what i mean there's like a certain there's a certain quality that those athletes embody and i just think she's the opposite of that she's the opposite of someone who feels that they're going to do whatever it takes to win which is what nike has sold us for the last you know 30 years well i i agree with that and i would i would say that since nike already has a a stranglehold and a grasp on on that as they're trying to increase their shareholder value year over year they have to tap in to every emerging market to make sure they get a hold of the half black and asian depressed demographic of autistic female tennis enthusiasts we've missed we've missed a few times but this time we didn't miss we found the right person for this job no no i understand what you're saying i mean i think it's great and then she's obviously inspiring a lot of young women to play a sport that is not necessarily totally you know in their purview on a day-to-day basis and that part is good and it's a beautiful sport the healthiest sport in the world as they like to say now um which i i might they really do like a little bit i don't know yeah yeah they tried running i mean i look at michael phelps big back you know in a good way six four one 180 you know 0.3 body fat and i'm watching us open and it's a lot of heifers out there squeaking on the court.
11:47A lot of heifers.
11:49Jason Stewart:Big mamas. But also powerful. I love watching it. If I'm looking at... Sabalenka's annoying. She can't stop with the lip filler, and she's got one of the worst tattoos I've ever seen. That's coming from somebody with tattoos that are the worst you've ever seen. Her lip filler is wild. Her lip filler. She looks like she's about to pop. All we have is Coco Gaunt. You're like, what do you think about the match today? And she's like... I can't. It's like she... I just... Coco Gauff is listening to clips in her Bose headphones. She's going out there. Well, she has to do that contractually. Yeah, but I just find her attitude to be not, like, overly positive to a point where it's unbelievable, but believable for her age and skill level.
12:37Like I find her personality and the way she approaches things to be the most like normal and relatable. Let me let me say that. Like she comes at it like someone who's like happy to be there, but also still very young and kind of wide eyed.
12:52Jason Stewart:Yeah, I mean, as we run down every tennis player, we're realizing that it's almost as if you do whatever it takes to make your child become a top 10 tennis player. what it does to their personality may or may not be worth it you know what i mean oh i mean like other than literally other than nick curios every tennis player is pretty much a goofy i mean pete sampras disappeared which is cool pete sampras took his money i guess i guess i'm maybe i'm talking current generation you know current 90s and later i mean i guess the year 2000 and all maybe yeah i mean i i kind of like you know i even though i mean i love all these guys even though andy roddick is giving like libertarian rivian driver i still find him he's good he's good at broadcasting he's good as a podcaster like he's he's very talented and he's it works like i'm you know i think he made the right decision kind of staying around the sport in that way um but yeah i mean it's you can't be normal it's impossible yeah like it's impossible especially of your dad as your coach yeah just what it does but you know we've talked about this before and we should move on away from tennis we don't want to alienate our non-tennis enthusiasm i don't want to i don't just just because it is u.s open time it's top of mind but also just quick quickly i want to say that this this year's tournament has been exceptionally boring and i think something is happening where center and alcaraz are too good and the gap between the the tier below that like a Ben Shelton, a Musetti, whoever, they can't win a set.
14:34It's over an hour and a half.
14:35Jason Stewart:Yeah. There have been a few good upsets on the early matches. No, there's always a few, but you know what I mean. I know what you mean. I was watching Sinner yesterday, and I was like, oh, he just doesn't make an error, and that's why he's number one. It's not fun to watch. I'm happy he's that good because he's worked hard, but it's not fun as an audience member, as someone who is like, oh, I could go see this, but it would be let's see an hour and a half in the car on the train hour and a half huh like what's the i don't know what the value is and it's done in 53 minutes straight sets yeah six six one six three and the guy the guy's barely sweating like the guy's barely sweating yeah i mean i mean but it's been like that for a long time with tennis i mean you you look down and there's like oh you you this guy won the u.s open seven years in a row like what what was that like It's just pretty exceptional for there to be something where you're all at the highest level, but then there are one or two of you that are just at a level that is untouchable by anybody else in your field.
15:37You know what I mean?
15:37Jason Stewart:And I think when it's a team sport, it's more fun to watch. But when it's one-on-one, it's a little bit like, all right. It's like playing chess against AI or whatever. No, it feels like, no, you're not going to lose. Yeah, you're just not going to lose. What fun is this? I agree. But one last part, Nick, I Googled Nick Kyrgios. He's in the news because him and Sabalenka's solid face mass have sort of gone back and forth about a potential battle of the sexes. Okay. Plastic battle of the sexes. No Steve Carell. And it would. Oh, shit. God damn it. You've heard us talk about BetterHelp for a long ass time.
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17:18Jason Stewart:You sent a message, and it turned out the seller was super chatty, kind of funny, and an avid cyclist. The next thing you know, you're in a cycling crew. Well, a community cycling group. The thing about Facebook, you might find more than what you're looking for. From a browse to a bike ride, this summer, find more on Facebook. Hey Chicago, class it up with Crocs. You know back to school is coming in fast. So why wait to find your new fave footwear? Step into a local Crocs store and step into your new look. Try it. Style it. Make it yours. Because the right pair doesn't just show up, it shows off.
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18:13okay all right we're back sorry all right move all right we've done we've talked about the us open it's almost over it's not exciting but you know here we are and i think the little boo boo deal was was a joke it's not real i think it's it minimum inflated i don't know you know she might have signed some paperwork but i don't think that the uh the hundred million dollar number is a
18:38Jason Stewart:is a real figure not a real figure um okay should we talk a little bit i mean about snl at all uh yeah i mean a bunch of people that no one knows got fired um which is you know bad i mean i i i do think it's interesting that they're breaking up that the the trio like the fake andy sandberg crew because one guy is staying on as a writer one guy is on the cast and one guy is just shit out of luck is that is that correct yeah and i think the guy who's sol is the one who's the most nepo of the baby oh is he somebody's is he somebody's kid yeah i think all i mean all i think all of the please don't destroy guys are nepo babies oh well that makes me want to support them more and um and a friend of the show andy haynes his uh his wife rosebud baker left as well so you know that health insurance well we know Andy ain't getting a job so this is she better have she better have something else lined up are they bringing back two and a half men or something we got clips going we got clips we started a podcast we got clips Devin Walker out he says SNL is a toxic community and he tweeted that like why are you guys acting like our life is over we're just going to get different jobs and then i was like are you though i mean that's cool i mean the amount of people who do well and succeed on snl the chances of them you know finding more success afterwards yeah far from guaranteed and he's he's no sherry o'terry don't make me bring up kristin wig i mean wig landed on her feet she's fine i think wig was i think we thought wig was going to land on her feet a little more firmly though based on the you know but it's hard no that's a good example temple.
20:29Jason Stewart:Heidney Gardner, eight years, not renewed. She was the white Kenan for a minute there, wasn't she? I feel like if you get into the zone of being on SNL and you're used to the schedule and the pay is good and it leads to all these other opportunities, why leave? Unless you're an absolute breakout where you're having to turn down high paying movies because why would you leave? I would do it for eight years. If you live in New York, at least Chloe Fineman, my queen, is still on yeah um i unfortunately law michael longfellow and emil joaquin are out i liked them and i would love for marcello hernandez to leave instead you i know yeah marcello steal your chick but i do agree he's just such a goofy yeah but that's what they need like he's the goofy that people like those guys those guys the the guys that you just named are good but they're like they feel a little more like you know new york stand-up guys yeah which i think a long fellow he filled the the gap that pete davidson left he's like a young norm mcdonald-ish kind of energy there's a little bill hater in him as well strong solid player should have been there he said he was informed he was fired via his agent while at an airport in utah god the salt lake city layover getting the call and then emil he seemed talented good looking guy of middle eastern descent good diversity casting it was all there that's true that's true he seemed confident on stage all that stuff was good hey man chicago kid i think we gotta we gotta mix it up bro lauren said i'm gonna i'm one foot out the door i gotta take some swings with the chick from from reels that's funny i think she'll do fine i think she'll do i like i know i like her i'm just saying like i think that's actually where they should be looking versus the fucking store or whatever you know i mean that's just the reality like those people are doing a low budget homemade version of what saturday live does you know stand like i stand up is very different to me than what like then it's just two different things so i think that those people are are almost you know more suited for the work yeah potentially so potentially so um i think it'll go i think all the new people should be good i feel good about it and they need people that can sing you know the veronica girl she can sing and that's big it's not gonna be good but i'm i'm i mean it hasn't been i mean i just hope they have a couple you know hope they book fucking you know two hollis or something you know they get they get they get somber in there you know just keep it interesting with the young people on at least on the musical guests you know yeah i mean at least at a certain point we will we will be aged out and i feel like i'm noticing that when i see like all the djs like on dj twitter and and instagram and i'm really feeling unk unk mode because like the there's like cool young people that i'm well aware of and I know them and I like them but then I'll just see all these posts and everyone has like a really bad DJ name and it's I feel like I'm reading like an alien language where it's just like you know Mochak just dropped his new collab with Lilo and Nytel remixed it at Snow Shoes from your era it's yeah it is a little And that's coming from a guy whose DJ name is M.
24:07Jason Stewart:Gene. I was going to say, I know what you mean, though. The names, even though yours sounds weird, it doesn't sound as weird as some of the ones that I see as well. I know what you're saying. Well, I guess what I've noticed is you read the Mark Ronson book. He's going to come on the pod, I think, to plug it soon. but I'm like halfway through it and he's talking about how like you know the DJ naming when he was you know in the 90s coming up and like mark the spark and you know DJ you know like so everyone had these kind of names and people often have a name or a moniker or an avatar their AOL screen name you know their name on MySpace their band name their DJ name their graffiti name their what you know a lot of people have different you know you have done to death everyone has the thing you know and i think nowadays that has we've sort of like taken anime and like marvel and comics and that's where we've gone for inspiration and that kind of world you know cosplay and live streaming and blah blah blah and so now every single person has their moniker and has their name and in the dj world it's become so dorky like even more dorky that people are taking these sort of like like you thought that the names couldn't get worse and and they get much worse and i think the streamers are to blame for it yeah i show speed that's a real they're really funny yeah you see you see like you know here's the clip and it's like i show speed meets marley and phase 29 and little you know like and it's and these people don't do anything but they have this name gamer tag to vibe like this was this was my name on call of duty very gamer tag call of duty and that's what i'm gonna call myself i mean that was the first time i had to name some name myself something we'd kill for mark the spark in 2025 that rhymes straightforward i have no problem with that compared to i show speed like what does that mean i guess what does any of it mean really yeah yeah i mean it's a but it's also a good way to like if if almost every name is bad then when you see a good one it teaches you to latch on you're like okay you're one of us you're cool you're chill and i know that i you know i don't have to avoid you like the plague you know what happened jason what happened to just going by the government you know what i mean what happened to just saying my name is chris black you know like why did i need to come up with done to death projects what was i thinking in 2005 or whatever you know i don't know what is wrong with the government name i unless it's a band obviously you know then it makes sense but like well it's it's different because that is you know it's a business that you have so you know there is a little bit of that but you know well actually i was thinking about that a couple days ago like why you know why is um tame and paula tame and paula and why you know why he's australian but you've like you know you've got chris martin in cold play and he could just be chris martin the way bruce springsteen is bruce springsteen or you know tom petty is a band that never changed pretty much but it's just tom petty true i mean they were the heartbreakers and neil young has the chrome hearts you know true true but like it's just interesting how some people are like i'm billy joel and then some people are like we're led zeppelin yeah no you're right you're right i mean I think that I, like in fashion, it's always said that you shouldn't use your name because if you lose ownership of it, then it's no longer yours.
27:47You know what I mean? Like contractually. So if I'm Marc Jacobs and I sell Marc Jacobs to a company and they want to change it, then basically I no longer own my own name for the purposes of making clothes. Ashley Simpson learned that one the hard way. Of course. So that was always like a real reason to not to give yourself some sort of, you know, to come up with something else. Right. But with DJs. If somebody wants to buy Chris Black. I'll sell. I'll sell. I mean, look, I'm putting together the deal for the Smiths right now. I might as well put together a deal for me.
28:23Jason Stewart:Well, actually, speaking of live streamers, I saw yesterday Kai Senat had Mariah Carey on the live stream. So sick. And I was thinking like, you know, is that, you know, you see, you know, tweets and Instagrams all the time where like you'll read a thing and the comment or the caption will just say like enough. Yeah. Yeah. I'm wondering for like the famous celebrity people going on a live streamer who's going to wear basketball shorts. Literally, he's like scratching his nuts on camera. That's the fact. Yeah. Scratching his nuts and playing video games. and then what level of celebrity is enough?
29:08Jason Stewart:And is Mariah Carey doing that? Is that a dark sign? Do we want Mariah to sort of die? No, we don't. Do we want Mariah Carey or any of these legendary divas or divos or just these beloved people? Should they be preserved and die with dignity or is it more fun to watch her make these funny bad decisions as she gets older and older? Well, I think that if you... Aging is something no one can stop, but if you're going to continue to try to sell something to me, then you're going to have to sort of pander to the streamers, because they have the biggest audiences. So, I mean, that's what Drake does now.
29:54Jason Stewart:But Drake makes... Like Mariah Carey's old and her fan base for her current music are just going to be kind of old hags. You know what I mean? Like it's me and up in terms of people who are checking for new Mariah. And the average person watching a Kai Senate stream is eight years old. Yeah, but that's of course they don't need to. No one needs to convince you to like Mariah Carey. they need to convince they need to try to convince the young people that that grandma can sing but i mean if i'm on if i'm mariah carey am i really thinking like i mean i guess she likes hanging out with young guys with no shirts on and stuff like that so like that is cool and that makes sense and maybe she's like yeah i mean i was gonna do it even if i didn't know it was gonna be good for my album but like do these people really think that it's gonna move the needle enough do you think she's gonna amass millions of new you know like vaping teen fans to hear her new song that you know is not going to be good uh no i don't think that but i think it's like but you you also just can't stop you know like j-lo or whatever like she's gonna keep putting out awful music forever but i would rather we all have to play the game if i'm mariah carey i'm like well i'm not what am i gonna do go talk to charlemagne or go i'm like hot 97 like there's no there's nowhere else to go kind of like because she won't go i mean maybe she would do like late night tv obviously the one fallon and all that shit but i think you do all of that and this now is what i'm trying to say low i think yeah i get yeah i mean i guess i guess but i go to me it boils down to like did mariah carey ever care about being cool or is it just or like is it is it just post cool No, Mariah Carey's not cool.
31:45Mariah Carey's not cool at all. Mariah Carey is a 90s pop star that is trying to stay relevant by hook or by crook. So whatever it takes.
31:58Jason Stewart:I'd like to think at some point in her life she cared about being cool and was maybe cool and doing cool things. What does cool mean to you, though? Because I don't think that's possible based on what I know about her. even look mariah carey is a fucking legend like okay what about madonna was there a point where madonna was cool i think madonna was cool by accident i think that these things i think that when you get that big it's impossible to be cool you can be an icon you can be rich you can be one of the most recognized people in the world but cool is very hard to maintain because of what where you are you know it's hard like madonna is okay well like i'd like to think that lady gaga would never do that.
32:41Jason Stewart:Like she would never go on Kaisenet and go hang out in his bald sweat smelling. Bro, if there were any white streamers, Gaga would be there. Okay, first of all, if there was any, no, I mean. I'd like to think that Lady Gaga would get presented the offer and she'd be like, what? Well, I think Lady, but I think someone like Lady Gaga is just younger enough than someone like Mariah Carey to know, to say no, if that makes sense. Whereas Mariah Carey has lived in a sort of bubble netherworld of her own creation for so long that she doesn't know up from down. And it's like if I'm in promo mode and this is what the label guy tells me to do and the Escalade comes and the hair and makeup is there, I go do it.
33:25Jason Stewart:So it's less Mariah's fault and more her team's fault. Totally. Yeah, yeah. I mean, she doesn't know what day it is. No, I guess you're right. Like when I was at, um, that, that interview magazine party at the Eagle a couple months ago and she was there, you know, she, like you were saying, she gets hauled out of the, she gets out of the hyperbolic chamber and she gets out of the chamber inside the escalade. They got a hand truck. They wheel her over. She doesn't know where she's at. She doesn't know what time it is, what city she's in. And she, they just point her in the direction and people take photos and they gag and then that's it.
34:01Jason Stewart:I guess the same. So, you know, Mariah, get a better team. I mean. Go down with some dignity. I don't think it's bad. See, I don't even think it's necessarily. Like, I see where you're coming from, but I also don't even think it's bad. Because it's like, I think that we could say the same about certain people coming here. Where it's like, they're like, what the fuck is this? Like, why would I do? Like, whatever. It's because they don't know. They're told what to do during a certain time period because they have something to sell. And they go do it. They go do it because that's their job. At this point, unfortunately, that's like more of the job than the creation of the art is.
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36:37Jason Stewart:Okay, so I'm more hyper-aware, critical and conscious of it because I have a stranglehold on the current podcast community and landscape, whereas Mariah Carey has never listened to a podcast or watched a live stream. Mariah Carey's like smartless. How long ago? You say what now, baby? I mean the thing is is that like iPod the thing is also if Anderson Pac is still beating he's probably Kaisen is probably his homie you know there's always I really don't think she knows what day it is or where she is at any point in time but I she's being taken advantage of by her team and her relationships I think she's a willing participant tale as old as time I think she's a willing participant but it could be viewed as taking advantage of if you wanted to put it through a tj lens yeah i guess for whatever reasons i'm since i'm older you know you think of these people who they should be larger than life because of their talent like a mariah or a whitney or a prince or any of these people totally like you should be above almost everything unless it's like a really cool good look you know what i mean i don't think anybody is above anything anymore and that's just that's the the sad reality of our uh yeah but you're mr mystery don't you have any hope i mean i think there's going to be young people actually that don't mr mystery sounds like a fucking i think chemical romance it really does that's the panic at the disco ass song that's the bonus mr mystery that's the bonus track on the black parade the reissue but it's it's pronounced miastia i don't think any i i don't think i think there could be young people that reject it before our old people because i think young people are more where my young where my old people at my 40 and ups make some noise they're at the unction but yeah i don't i don't know i i don't i don't blame i don't blame mariah but i i blame society as a whole yeah you know it's it's tough i guess i just gotta let go yeah yeah i never yeah i don't think about maria carrie at all if i'm being honest it's just like it's just such a shame and it's also interesting to watch you know like we're the people that find the most success are usually the worst ones and then the people that remain cool you know like we're hanging out and talking to saint etienne they're just a sick ass cool beloved band for those who know and know and he's he's living a fun happy life and he's found success he gets paid to do what he loves but you know he's far from super successful wealthy musician in the grand scheme of things and it's just a shame to see the the shittiest worst ones find the most success i mean i don't think that i don't know i don't think of it that way i mean that's that's a generalization but just from my personal relationships, the bigger the people get, and I'm thinking of a lot of DJs that I know, they just turn into worse and worse people, and it's something that I hope I have to tangle with.
Read the full transcript
39:47Jason Stewart:Well, you've only gotten worse with any success that you've had, so I don't know why you're pointing fingers at Steve Aoki. But it makes you wonder, at what point did you decide to not care about being cool, or were you just never cool? That is a real question, and I think that the answer obviously differs per subject, but I think that's very true. I mean, I think that also you just start – I'm treating cool like straight edge now. You start caring less, I think, is really what it is. And, like, for example, I should care less now at 42, and I probably care much more than I should about things that I should not care about.
40:31and it's detrimental to my mental health and bottom line. But I just cannot help myself.
40:38Jason Stewart:Yeah, I mean, I like the idea of doing it Frank style, doing it my way. There's a chance that you're going to fail. I thought you were talking about Frank Ocean. I was like, what, fucking MMA guy and never make music? That sounds pretty cool. You got to do it like Frank. You got to flop at Coachella, fucking MMA fighter, and never put out new music, even though that's all people want from me. I got to jack off to fake deep fakes. And Postmates Goop Kitchen. Oh, dude, I was walking through. I had to go to J.Crew today to pick up some clothes at the Bond Street store, and there was two guys in Goop-branded boiler suits, like male models, giving out treats.
41:24Wait, what's a boiler suit? Like a jumpsuit, like something a mechanic would wear. You know what I mean? You put your legs in. It's like a one piece. This male model comes up to me. He's like, can I interest you in some cookies? It's like 11 a.m. He's like, can I interest you in some cookies? And I was like, no, no, I'm good. And then I was like, I like your boiler suit. And I looked down and noticed he had a Zen bulge. And I pointed out that the Zen bulge was maybe a little off-brand for goop. And he was like, oh, hell no. He was really funny about it. He was really, really funny about it. Just wanted to give a shout-out to him.
41:58You're not going to tell my boss, are you, mister? If I was getting paid$500 to sweat through a fucking canvas boiler suit handing out fucking gluten-free cookies in Soho, I would need some fucking Zins on the top and bottom. Sure.
42:11Jason Stewart:Yeah, that reminds me of when we saw those Red Bull girls a couple weeks ago in Glendale. Speaking of streamers, I saw a good tweet. The person's Twitter name is PlayThatDutch. he says they got to start adding this to carfax reports and it's video of a guy eating like a bucket of wendy's chili and like dipping nuggets into it but all that is i mean it's a funny joke but like if you the same way like are you know did you smoke in this car you know did you record tiktok mukbangs in the car that should show up on the carfax report you know what i mean yeah in In that case, that Mercedes is going down in value because I know you've eaten some nasty shit inside that car.
42:58That Tesla had to be impounded.
43:02Jason Stewart:I put the Tesla in grind mode and it actually clears all the air out. And it's grinding in the Orange County sense of the word as we're about to cruise some grind. Bro, that shit. Now, that Tesla smelled like it worked at Raisin Cane's. You got to get rid of that thing. The Model 3 did smell like it always just got off its shift. and you could wash the apron as long as you want but it will never get the smell out exactly exactly yeah that's good um but yeah the the same way the grailed listing will say you know this yoji sweaters from a non-smoking home well in the future we'll say this is from a non-streaming home or whatever it is you know non non-muck banging home i mean whatever we can do to stop people from eating in their cars is something I support.
43:46Jason Stewart:I know. Is there an ideal place? Do you prefer an outdoor eating in terms of the smell? No, no. The only place to eat is inside of a restaurant. The only place one should dine is in a dining room. Is in a dining room. Call me crazy. Call me crazy, but there's a room for that. It's named for that. But no, I think that outside is fine. I mean, I just find dining alfresco to be disgusting in the place that I live. Obviously, there are places where it is quite pleasant, and I understand that. I will always choose an indoor table, partly because I want the ambiance, and I want to see what this restaurant's really all about.
44:26Jason Stewart:Yeah, the alfresco that reminds me, because I'm heading off to Sicily this week, and you are as well, for a wedding. and the last time i was in sicily i learned how to how to say there are too many bees because every time every morning when you go down to the fucking pastry buffet that you don't want a little outdoor the outdoor dessert breakfast pastry display in the courtyard dessert breakfast is exactly what the fuck that is well european motherfucker you go down there and it's the the people they just finished their run none of them are fat they're all looking good they're austrian and swiss and in italian and they're smearing nutella on the fucking croissant and the banana bread so they're doing something right but um it reminded me of of that kind of alfresco dining where you go down at the hotel and you eat the the weird bad hotel breakfast and then just bees there were just dozens of bees and i had to scream which means because you're just like i can't enjoy my meal in the meal i can't i can't spend a lot of money on yeah i can't enjoy this meal for for because of the bees i totally get it i totally get it are you ready for for euro trip time chris fuck no dude no fuck no i'm not ready either i mean it's fine like i'll be fine but i mean it's just kind of like non-stop shit until then because it's like the sort of lead up to fashion week um but you know that's fine i'll be fine i mean i'm i had an elbow injury yeah and i was it was kind of bad like i thought i might have to go to the hospital like i was like i think i may have dislocated my elbow um and then i kind of thugged it out because i hate going to the hospital and um who doesn't classic man like literally and uh then yesterday i went to Mayo Detox, Mayo, they've rebanded, just Mayo.
46:24And bro, this guy went so hard on my motherfucking elbow. I felt it is 80 % better after one treatment. It was unbelievable. Like he, because he's a chiropractor and, you know, like a body work person. So he could kind of do everything. But now I'm in for life. So he miled on your elbow till you detoxed? Exactly. exactly but but the thing is he was like you're going to be sore and i woke up this morning i was like did this motherfucker make it worse i was dying okay daddy and then and then as the afternoon you know as the day progressed i was like oh shit i feel it was a tendon issue on both my bicep and my tricep they're overworked yeah um which you couldn't tell by looking at them
47:11Jason Stewart:unfortunately well chris if you ever checked your wearable data it would let you know to take a day off it's my your tendons are screaming for some time off said my fit yeah your tendon o2 levels are subpar but shout out to shout out to my i mean i i loved it it was it was absolutely it's exactly what i want and i i've been in la before and then it came to me i go i should go this is where i should go and it it did it did thank god and it was avoided a trip to the hospital which The hospital in New York is like going to a jail slash mental institution. So anything you can do to avoid that is a positive, is a big positive.
47:50And then tonight we have the W Hotel opening party, which should be an interesting soiree. When you say we, just the community.
48:01Jason Stewart:The community of NYC socialites. What's going to happen there? Mark Ronson DJ set? No. I can't remember who it was supposed to be, but I can't remember who it is. But yeah, I mean, I'm interested to see what they've done because that is sort of an iconic property. That was like the spot in the early 2000s. I would say how much of the Indie Sleaze revival has to do with the W Hotel revival. I mean, I think all these things are delicately intertwined. W used to be a real solid brand. Oh, for sure. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it was expensive. it was like nice i mean it was like sort of a funny aesthetic choice but it's i mean we're staying there tonight so i'll let you know what what wasn't a funny aesthetic choice in 2001 you know also also a great point also a great point yeah that was that was sort of uh do you know what my mp3 player looked like oh i don't know it looked like the lobby of a w hotel i know you got a free zune in the in the in the storage locker the amount of zunes i've had bro a friend to the show paul chang he had he briefly was working with zune and he had a zune toyota suv and he pulled up and it's i forgot what the su people will send me dms about it it's the one that kind of looks like a half like a mini hummer it has like sometimes sometimes it'd have like a snorkel on it for when you like drive in the water and shit like a forerunner yeah yeah yeah it was kind of like a tonka toy yeah yeah toyota one but oh oh oh oh i know what you're talking about i know you're talking about it was um fj cruiser yes that was a moment that was like a weird uh scion era like funny car that lasted for like five years it was a retro styled mid-level suv mid mid being the keyword from like 2005 to 2015 or something like that but he pulled up you know honk twice it was like zoolander style i think it was a convertible i think the top was down maybe but it was you know full west coast customs job but microsoft zune player i mean look if anybody's gonna blow money on on an mp3 player it's the microsoft got it yeah he's got bags gates got bags gates no one has more bags than gates wow that's cool that's that's a lot better than the scion socks yeah even even though those are storied and collectible items one day do you have it do you have a pair not anymore no no no but i definitely have and you know people people talk about them like it was the unit it was like if uniqlo socks were given out at the x games and you're just like oh this is actually very nice and convenient thanks if you need those socks forgiven all right espn if you're listening i see something here jason's once again stumbled upon a genius idea yeah the amount of times you go you know you go to costco you get what you get a sample of like a fucked up tostino's pizza roll that's been sitting there all day you don't want that you go to the u.s open like do you want like a you know a magnet or a dumb ball that you're just going to throw away or some plastic shit socks no no no just Give me some Uniqlo socks.
51:14Jason Stewart:Everyone in the world is like, it's great. I really want to go to the X Games, actually. So I've never. I've been. I'm not surprised. It feels like a Southern California rite of passage. Did like Millen Colin play? Like what was the vibe when you were there? Well, I went because DJ Them Jeans played. Woo! Let's go. I think there may have been a DJ AMX Travis Barker kind of like while like the dirt bike jumped. Yeah, of course, dude. While like Moto X Vert was going on. Dude, you already know, Travis. They were doing Led Zeppelin Z-Trip style mashup out there, live drums. Yeah, what if you like play like Iron Man, but it's like trap style drums?
52:00Dude, this is. I can see this happening right now with the dirt bikes flying over them while they're doing this, like revving their engines.
52:10Jason Stewart:They're hitting the pyro. That's sick. There's a guy who's like wearing like psycho clown makeup, pumping up the crowd. It's really weird. I've never been to the X Games. Because street league skateboarding is looked down upon as sort of the corporate, you know, a corporate grab at skateboarding. But X Games is just the OG. It's not, you know, obviously it's not sitting in a parking lot with 10 friends hitting slappies on the curb. But it's also not like trying to make, it feels more like the fake Olympics than anything else. Yeah, that's the problem. corporate sponsors they fucked i don't want to see bob burnquist on vert though i only want to see street course i want to see naija in his fucking nike short nobody wants to see the failing bob burnquist do anything that's of course but i'm glad are you glad that now like the coolest or like the the number one ranked skaters in the world are just like 14 year old japanese girls or whatever yeah it's an interest i mean it's it's guys we know that are 40 or 15 year old girls that are absolutely killing i see the clips all the time it's amazing i love it but bob i didn't know you had beef with bob like that oh bob and i have been beefing for a long time literally because of the x games do you have a are you guys whole brothers no i remember he was a dick to me when i was djing at the x games and i said fuck you bob burnquist and i've been publicly roasting him for a long time.
53:34Bob Bernquist is an amazing skateboarder, but he is, but vert skateboarding is one of the most uncool things you can be good at, which is strange because regular skateboarding is one of the coolest things to be good at. It's a gigantic difference between those two parts. You know what it is?
53:55Jason Stewart:It's tennis and pickleball. It is. No, it really is. It really is. I don't understand what Paddle is really, but it seems like pickleball for people that have more money. I think it's pickleball and squash. Yeah, combined. Combined. But again, squash, cool. Pickleball, not cool. Paddle, Paddle, whatever. I'm not buying it. Cash Paddle. Cash Paddle, I ain't buying it. Cash Paddle, you hit the ball to the left. He looking to the right. He ain't going to hit it. It doesn't work for me. It don't work for me. I heard one cool thing about pickleball that I sort of liked. In all the sort of deserted, failed shopping malls from our childhood all over the world.
54:45Jason Stewart:Dude. Or I guess all over America. People are taking them over on the cheap and just filling them up with pickleball courts. and I was especially in on the on the east or colder climates so you can do indoors all day and that way we can sort of it's not an internment camp for pickleball players but they're all kind of hurtled into an area and they can stay there out of sight dude this is I just saw this like I just the crazy gym I was going to in Brookhaven which is like the town next to Bellport what's it called again off the leash off the chain amazing gym if you're if you're out in bellport hit off the chain tell him i sent you the uh next door was like a giant pickleball indoor space and that this is exactly what you're talking about like it was a rundown shitty shopping center and the the the kind of like anchor space that would have been a mervin's or whatever is a is a is a pickleball an independent pickleball and i've seen it also in glendale i think there's um like in the little industrial area where it's just like chop shops and and hookah supply warehouses and stuff.
55:52Jason Stewart:There's just a place that used to be like a Sherwin-Williams paint store, like a mattress store that doesn't exist anymore and just sat empty for five years. And they're like, we'll give you five grand a month and we'll move in as many pickleball courts as we can and everyone's happy. We're able to do it with pickleball electively, just random people, but our government can't get housing for homeless people. it is a confusing yeah yeah if there is only a way that the people who are working hard for the pickleball community those people can work and share their divert their efforts you know do a ted talk at the fucking governor's office or something we have so many homeless people it's a huge issue in the world we have so many giant malls that are just sitting empty waiting to be turned into retail and living spaces where there's a children's dentist office in the bottom and then uh only fans people living upstairs just turn it into unhoused housing this is wow the food court it has all the gas and plumbing and electrical all ready for the big mess hall everyone has a big meal chef jose andres can come over there and i cook a meal i cook a big paella for the homie Jose Andres has already done this probably somewhere And had a full camera crew with him There are so many moss Chopping moss
57:22Not Jose Andres All that motherfucker does is cook for people Who don't got no money I don't understand how he does it How he got so many bands How he got so many bands to give back like that Maybe he's a selfless cat Maybe he's a selfless cat Alright, I gotta run How Long Gone thank you so much for listening Jason have a safe trip I'll see you next week on the sacred grounds of Italy and thank you guys for listening to How Long Gone we'll be back next week with more podcasts and hope to see you soon
58:09Do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do.
58:23Jason Stewart:I'm not giving up. I am selling the building. Only love. The final season of FX's The Bear. The restaurant is flooded. That falls like cheese. Everything's either gonna be okay. No! Stop! Or not. We are outgunned and we are outmanned. We have each other. FX's The Bear, the final season. All episodes now streaming on Disney+.
From the publisher
One-on-one pod recorded on Friday, Chris was in New York, and Jason was home in LA. We chat about bedazzled Labubus, cast member changes at toxic SNL, we've reached peak moniker, superstar celebrities going on livestream, mukbang carfax, elbow rehab, Toyota FJ Cruiser with Microsoft Zune livery, Uniqlo socks could save the world, and pickleball developers could help end the unhoused crisis.
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