888. - Chris & Jason

9:36Chris Black:On God.

9:37Jason Stewart:I mean, so much has happened. Thank you for your patience as we take our holiday break. We didn't want it to be this long, but that's just the way.

9:46Chris Black:Well, it's kind of the way. the holidays were situated this year, just calendar-wise.

9:52Jason Stewart:Christmas and New Year's falling in the middle of the week really shakes things up. In LA, for all my LA listeners, it's been raining basically every day since Christmas.

10:01Chris Black:I thought there was a little break, but maybe I'm seeing things.

10:05Jason Stewart:We had a couple days, but it never really things never really dried up. You know what I mean? It's giving puddle.

10:13Chris Black:Is it bad, like dangerous vibes or is it just annoying no no it's it's just annoying i mean it's it's a

10:20Jason Stewart:little dangerous depending on where in california you are there's definitely shut down roads and landslides and flood flooded freeways and stuff like that but it's not really yeah sure it's not crazy there's no full death and destruction we're all just walking around saying bro we really needed

10:35Chris Black:it um i like that i like that people say bro we really needed it for like two weeks straight it's like well i think we got what we needed and now we should probably move on look you know do you

10:44Jason Stewart:want there's three events that happen at this time of the year and it's gonna rain on two of them you know pick two you got christmas new year's eve and the w magazine party yeah you know one of those is gonna be rain free and i think this year we're gonna get w i mean that's better to me than

11:03Chris Black:brought to you by our friends at christian louboutin that's better to me than i mean christmas is you're sitting inside anyway why not rain who gives a shit i'm just watching my redskins i don't care if it's raining outside hey but hey buddy tv works just the same i don't care what god's doing out there i don't give a fuck let me tell you that man i don't have no satellite dish no did you i i believe from some context clues that you gave us you did go see the marty supreme movie in the in theaters yes yes so i i don't follow you on letterboxd because i'm a a man um but i I would love to hear, because I'm hearing a lot of, now that the sort of hubbaloo is over, I'm hearing a lot of it's fine discourse, which I feel like is something that a lot, that's what happens when anything gets so popular before anyone's able to digest it.

11:54Chris Black:It's sort of, it might work for ticket sales or whatever and chatter and press, but then when it comes down to it, a lot of people respond with it's fine. and I just wanted I wondered if you're in the it's fine camp or you know what bro I fucking

12:07Jason Stewart:loved it I think we are experiencing the collective post nut clarity after Marty Supreme dropped there were some signs that had me thrown off the scent like our friend Mikey a very well well uh studied cinephile you know he knows more about film than anybody I know hates almost everything and he was like fuck it really is that good like I really love it y 'all think weird y 'all

12:32Chris Black:think we are haters you should see some people we hang out with you should see some people that we hang out with that don't have microphones okay because they're you think we're bad they're 10

12:40Jason Stewart:times you hear the stuff that our friends who aren't famous i can't yeah i can't if you're

12:45Chris Black:outside with mikey and tim at a 7-eleven you're gonna hear way worse shit that we could ever say

12:49Jason Stewart:so he you know and and for him to say that big and he's like i i've hated i hated every other safety movie blah blah blah so expectations were were so high that they were almost non-existent. It was almost just like we don't even know how to gauge what's going on here. So it was such a high expectation. So when you go, it's a fun movie. But I mean, I agree with all of it. It's too long. It needs to be 38 minutes shorter. There's a couple parts that are really beautiful and really special. Odessa Adelon, she is a good actor. I was like, damn, I used to not like her and I'm like damn shorty just won me over she's a really good actor but then you know it's you're watching 38 minutes of ping pong and it's cool to watch timothy chalamet gets so good at ping pong there's this hot japanese deaf guy and they play ping pong together a bunch but you're like okay it's ping pong you know yeah yeah I got a babysitter for

13:46Chris Black:this you know at a certain point I I just wonder yeah I mean I'm sure it's but I think that it's fine is actually a pretty positive response at this point in our in our digestion of culture like i think it's fine is almost uh a plus at this stage i really do this episode of how long gone is brought to you by ship station um jason when your company is growing fast at the speed of light order fulfillment can make or break your success ship station's intelligence driven platform brings order management rate shopping inventory and returns warehouse systems and comprehensive analytics all in one place, saving customers 15 hours per week.

14:26Chris Black:That's a lot of time, Jason, on fulfillment.

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15:12Jason Stewart:Thanks to our friends at ShipStation.

15:13Chris Black:Try ShipStation free for 60 days with full access to all features. No credit card needed. Go to ShipStation.com and use code HOWLONG for 60 days free. 60 days gives you plenty of time to see exactly how much time and money you're saving on every shipment. That's ShipStation.com, code HOWLONG, ShipStation.com, code HOWLONG. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Factor. Jason, the days are cold, the goals are big, and I don't have any time to cook. Luckily, Factor makes healthy eating easy with fully prepared meals designed by dieticians and crafted by chefs so you can eat well without any of that pesky planning or cooking.

15:51Jason Stewart:Yeah, Chris, I love to cook, but as the days get busier, the grind gets grindier. Sometimes I don't always have time to prepare a delicious meal for my family. When you're busy, you're stressed out, you're hungry, you're hungry, it's easy to reach for some dumb fast food or eat something that you're going to regret. That's why I like using factor so I can get a nice healthy meal, colorful veggies, whole foods, no refined sugar, sweeteners, no weird seed oils, no questioning where this stuff came from. It's all coming from great places. The calories are low, the proteins are high and there's a hundred rotating weekly meals keeping things fresh as the seasons change I like to change my menu and you can do that easily with Factor do separate selections if you want a high protein meal low calorie GLP1 supporting whatever gluten free etc etc you can do all of your restrictions and then even for our protein junkies the muscle pro collection is really going to help you out with your strength and recovery Chris, get a little tofu kombucha halibut or something like that.

17:03Jason Stewart:That's going to really be yummy for you.

17:05Chris Black:I need the muscle man meal. All right, so head to factormeals.com slash howlong50off and use code howlong50off to get 50 % off and free breakfast for a damn year. Eat like a pro this month with Factor. New subscribers only varies by plan. One free breakfast item per box for one year while subscription is active. Show it to eat like a pro. We are back with better help, Jason. sometimes it can feel like everyone else has it all together in their love lives you know i'm talking about whether married dating or single the truth is most of us are still figuring it out and finding our way and no matter where you are in your romantic journey therapy can help you find your way help you determine what you want what feels heavy and how you can take some pressure off of yourself uh february i mean we're in the heat of it jason it's full of flowers candy stuffed animals and of course lots of talk about relationships and dating and no matter where you are whether you're married or dating or single or just focusing on you you're right on time therapy can help you find your way and see more clearly where you want to be for whatever

18:04Jason Stewart:relationship you're in however you're looking for love or not looking for love however asexual you are you still need to talk to somebody about the world and what's going on that's why i love therapy and that's why we love better help they have over 30 000 therapists the world's largest online platform served over 6 million people globally it's very highly rated if you don't like your therapist easily switch it up it's all remote it's super easy to use it's how we all do therapy now sign up and get 10 off at betterhelp.com slash how long that is better h-e-l-p as in patrick raddenkief.com slash how long yeah i mean i think overall it'll be great for cinema and theater i really like the fact that i was in a movie theater in the week between christmas and new year's i went to the americana carolyn and i walked over to in and out had a burger walked over the movie theater was packed there but and there was no nobody's clapping for nicole kidman commercials before anymore if somebody does clap other people shame them boo it's over

19:14Chris Black:i haven't been to a movie in so long that i forgot that was a thing god that is so insane that that's

19:20Jason Stewart:a thing okay it felt nice to be in a in a big theater full of people reacting laughing you know even if it was annoying and stupid and even even if you're like why are you laughing at that part like what the hell even it was it was just nice to see see it back and i think we're so used to wanting to go to a movie theater you pull up the little seating chart and you're like oh dude it's empty this is so sick we can sit wherever we want you know maybe that's not necessarily a good thing unless you're trying to get your peewee hermit on sure trying to stroke my shit to marty and on marty there's this big fat guy who was like a friend of his he rules great yeah yeah yeah love

20:00Chris Black:big boy i read well he was like a he's like a full like street cast like oh really oh yeah like lives in i can't remember where he like lives in buffalo and is like a dispatcher so it's like he's

20:10Jason Stewart:not at all an actor i i believe like you look like a fat guy from the 50s and he's like well

20:15Chris Black:Finally, I'll get my big call up to Hollywood. I mean, we'll see if he works again, but God bless. Imagine that, though. A star is born. Imagine that, though. Like being completely plucked from obscurity, getting to go do that, having the time of your life, and then maybe it happens again, maybe it doesn't. It's still a pretty big W overall in the scheme of life.

20:33Jason Stewart:Speaking of big boys. Really quick, sorry to interrupt you, but I want big boys look. I think that's going to be the first cool look of 2026 once things warm up. Wife beater with suspenders and some small reading glasses. I'm sure Davide is already there, but if you got the cojones to pull that look off, things are going to go well for you.

20:51Chris Black:If you got the cojones to pull that look off, please don't.

20:53Jason Stewart:You can be 300 pounds, too. You can be fatter than Tim Dillon, and it's still not work for you.

20:57Chris Black:I think actually the fatter you are, the better it is.

21:00Jason Stewart:The obesity is almost necessary.

21:02Chris Black:Well, no, speaking of big boys, I just wanted to - Just like Jelly Roll. I just, well, Jelly Roll's getting some flack. So many fat people to talk about. So little time. Why is Jelly Roll, why are people, I don't know why people are so mean to Jelly Roll. Honestly, I don't. I mean, obviously the music is bad, but everybody's music's bad. So it's like, that doesn't matter. But how come he's getting shit on for using GLP-1s, but all these chicks get away with it? Why can't Jelly be healthy? Is it just because his name? Because he's named after a donut? You can't let him lose weight?

21:32Jason Stewart:I think, I mean, that is a big part of it. I think that his name is so tied to obesity that it is really hard to parse those two things out. Wait, hold on. I have to close my window. She's pouring again. Son of a bitch. Yeah, but people just don't like it when people go from being a smiling, lovable, fat guy to sunken cheekbones, looking like 007 shake type shit.

21:59Chris Black:But he doesn't look, but people, but that's the thing. He doesn't look that good. It's not like he looks, it's not like he's taking his shirt off and he looks like Channing Tatum in fucking Magic Mike. No, he doesn't.

22:08Jason Stewart:It's looking like, it's looking like the Dune movie with that stomach comes out.

22:13Chris Black:When you lose 100 pounds out of 400, it's amazing for your health and your mental health, and I'm sure your general well-being, but you're not. It's not like you can't tell who it is. To me, it's not like some crazy transformation, but I guess Jelly did admit he was having a tough time with his little baddie wife, and now that he lost weight, little Jelly's on Chubb is what he's kind of been quoted as saying. So I'm happy for Jelly, and I'm sick of the mess talk about him.

22:44Jason Stewart:Lil Jelly's on Chubb.

22:48Chris Black:I just think he – I really don't understand why he gets – I mean, like I said, I know his music is bad, and I know the whole thing is insane. But in the scheme of celebrity, to me, he's actually pretty harmless and seems to only want to do good, sort of. You know what I mean?

23:05Jason Stewart:In a way that – yeah, but he has a guilty conscience. he's riding wrongs you know he was he was pardoned by the nashville or like the tennessee governor for like armed robbery and drug you know that's fine nobody look nobody died he's fine if you

23:21Chris Black:don't kill any if you don't kill anybody get armed robbery is a victimless crime you're right chris i mean i'm saying if nobody dies and and you know it was 20 years ago or whatever he was probably 18 i'm not saying it's good obviously it's bad i'm just saying that i think as far as celebrities go there's many more sinister celebrities for us to focus on than than him i i think it's all karma

23:43Jason Stewart:i think this is all Allah the big man upstairs and i think he's like look jelly you did some bad stuff you're not the worst guy in the world it's fine i'm gonna give you uh you know a hundred millions of dollars and you know worldwide fame and adoration change your whole life turn it around it's gonna be so good you know there are gonna be a couple little speed bumps and that's just what's going to happen.

24:05Chris Black:Look, I hope him and Bunny XO make it. I think they're a great couple.

24:10Jason Stewart:Is that the name of his lovely lady?

24:12Chris Black:Yeah, Bunny XO. Yeah, yeah. Sorry to be the one to tell you that.

24:17Jason Stewart:We're going to have to wait for the divorce court public hearing to find out what her real name is.

24:23Chris Black:Well, I was... There are a lot of big guys in the news because I also was sort of flooded on my TL

24:32Jason Stewart:Big guys in the news today.

24:33Chris Black:With this mask stuff with Judah Friedlander. Mesh hat wearing comedian. What was he on? 30 Rock?

24:44Jason Stewart:He was on 30 Rock. He wore a different novelty mesh hat that had a funny little quirky message. It's very 2004.

24:51Chris Black:One of the worst dressed guys of all time for my money. America's schlub. But I guess his new cause is he's like immunocompromised. I wear a mask everywhere. That's my entire life now. and John's beloved liberal, John Stewart, made fun of him? Is that what, am I understanding this correctly?

25:10Jason Stewart:He didn't make fun of him, but Judah Freeland did not like that. John Stewart was sort of poking fun at people that are still, in 2025, nay, 26, you know, masking in public and being, you know, super citizen, social distancers.

25:27Chris Black:Who doesn't make fun of that? I thought that was sort of like, I didn't know that. I mean, I guess Jon Stewart has a larger platform.

25:35Jason Stewart:Yeah, I think it's sort of like you said, liberal guru, liberal god Jon Stewart. It's unexpected for him to say something like that in the eyes of him versus if Shane Gillis is making a joke about it, it's not going to be strange. And it's like, what are you going to do? I'm just going to make fun of you more. Whereas Jon Stewart, he feels as if he could get through to him, make him feel bad, maybe make him apologize.

26:01Chris Black:I don't think it worked, did it? I didn't see any. It did not work. Good. Thank God. You know, Jon Stewart, as annoying as I find you, stand your ground on this. Because Judah Friedlander is a bee buzzing around your ear. You know? You can just, it's not, this is not, I just can't believe that people, I just, I don't know. That being your cause is so crazy to me. Like, just do it. If you need to do it, just do it. It's all good. Fighting against a guy who's, I don't know, 100 % more relevant than you is not a battle you're going to win no matter how much you love your mask.

26:34Jason Stewart:Yeah. I mean, I sympathize for people who are in that situation where they truly are immunocompromised and their life is difficult and they do have to wear a mask all the time. But also that the ship has sailed, not to be a pessimist, but wear the mask. No one's going to make fun of you for wearing a mask on the train or whatever. it's normal I'm on the plane next to somebody someone's wearing a mask I don't give a shit it doesn't matter but also you know just realize that no one else is gonna wear a mask all the time just because of you like we're society and humanity is past that and it never was there people need to really understand that as a society which is all bad I don't think this is good at all but that's just I do I think it needs the way the earth goes no I think

27:18Chris Black:it's every man for himself out here and once you recognize that and understand it life is easier it's not the best way it is but that's the way it is and that's how

27:27Jason Stewart:you got to understand it no one gives a fuck about you yeah as a survival method or a survival technique you have to do that otherwise you're going to turn into a crazy cat lady judah free

27:37Chris Black:every day you got to remind yourself that no one gives a fuck about you and that is the best thing

27:42Jason Stewart:that you can do for better or for worse when in terms of hoping people care about you and in terms of hoping people are not hating you right now no one is thinking about you no good or bad literally

27:51Chris Black:No one cares about you at all, and that is definitely true for Judah Friedlander.

27:57Jason Stewart:My DMs would say otherwise, but for you listeners, it's tough.

28:01Chris Black:I also, in the food space, on one of the windiest days I've ever experienced, it felt like Michael Jackson getting blown into the fucking Hudson. I went to that grocery store Meadow Lane that was a viral moment because the little bitchy gay owner chronicles. You went to Gay Erewhon? I went to Gay Erewhon because it was like we were over there. Everyone knew you? One of the best stores in New York is right there. La Garcon is right there. So we were like, all right, let's go to La Garcon. It was just like, let's go. And then we went in. And I didn't realize. I thought it was like a grocery store.

28:38Chris Black:I literally thought it was like Happier Grocer, Erewhon, whatever. It's literally like only prepackaged foods and a few random vegetables. and like a full coffee bar and like merch, of course. Okay. But I am very disappointed to tell you that the product was absolutely slapping. Okay. It's so good. And this is not, I had an overnight oats, best I've ever had in my life, and it was reminiscent of all my heads, all my heads will know that if you lived in New York in, you know, whatever, 2012, juice press had this amazing raw oatmeal and they would serve it to you with a side of berry compote i would get two and just so i could have the perfect bite every time and you deserve it this is exactly this is the most reminiscent of that that i have found since juice press went down the shitter and it it just it flooded my stomach and brain with nostalgia it was delicious it had the right berry to peanut butter to oat ratio um okay but alex had the chicken salad which is like the hit there one of one of the hits and she claimed which i didn't know this about her that she is a chicken salad aficionado you know she's i like this one like that one like that one interesting she cracks it open has one bite she's like oh damn oh wow this is unbelievable and these are obviously two small things you know what i mean these are two relatively small things it was 25 USD for these two items.

30:12Jason Stewart:It was just like a container of chicken salad or was it a sandwich or a wrap?

30:17Chris Black:No, I'm sorry. A small container of chicken salad that she ate with a fork and then maybe put a little on a saltine.

30:24Jason Stewart:So chicken was 14, oats were 11, something like that?

30:27Chris Black:Something like that. But we didn't get the... Obviously, the chicken fingers are a big hit as well. We didn't get that.

30:34Jason Stewart:The nuggets or the tenders.

30:35Chris Black:Yeah, but it was a... I was very disappointed to find how good it was. And I don't want to go back, but I can't make any promises. Okay.

30:45Jason Stewart:How was the crowd?

30:47Chris Black:Awful. Oh, the worst. Like the most annoying girl you've ever met with her rich mom in town for Christmas spending$500 on prepackaged food that it would be impossible to eat before it goes bad.

31:01Jason Stewart:Right, right, right. There's no way in hell that mom from Louisville is going to have a collard green tuna wrap before that thing starts wilting.

31:10Chris Black:Yeah, literally.

31:11Jason Stewart:So the overnight oats are peanut butter and jelly. Is that correct? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

31:15Chris Black:Which I think is a nice, I think that's obviously a classic combo.

31:18Jason Stewart:You know, this is feeling like the corner, is it corner? Corner store. Yeah, corner store. Like sort of like a cross between corner store and Erewhon where we all need to be eating foods that children eat, but for adults like - They had some more grown-ups. Chicken nuggets and peanut butter and jelly and things like that.

31:37Chris Black:More grown-up stuff, I will say. I'm sure. They had some noodle bowls and rice. Miso, black cod, salmon. They had some other stuff, but it was just not the right. I'd already eaten lunch, so I wasn't interested in any of the larger.

31:50Jason Stewart:How's the packaging? I feel like that's going to be a big thing.

31:53Chris Black:Pretty normal, but good. It wasn't anything. They didn't innovate in the space, but it was serviceable and definitely better than a whole foods or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The quality was definitely better. But I was quite impressed with the stuff that I got, and I'm not afraid to admit that publicly.

32:11Jason Stewart:Meadow Lane. It doesn't matter that it sounds like a nursing home.

32:15Chris Black:No, it doesn't.

32:16Jason Stewart:Or a funeral home.

32:17Chris Black:Did you get cremated there? No, I got some overnight oats, actually. It was delicious. Well, it's funny because we went to – so Conrad and his girlfriend Ella are in town for the industry premiere this week, and we went to Borgo last night.

32:30Jason Stewart:Sad I'm missing that premiere.

32:32Chris Black:And Borgo was delicious. I'd never had like a real meal there anyway we were at dinner and we were telling them about Meadow Lane and he was like oh I guess I gotta go he already he already texted me they'd be like bro this shit is fire this shit is so good I'm like yeah I know it's but it's it's like imagine coming here because because London has like a new store that Alex Eagle opened in in 180 the strand that's like their air one that people are like going crazy about but like it's it's not There's one. You know what I mean? It's crazy how it's just such a specific American sort of certain neighborhood, upper middle class.

33:10Chris Black:It's just such a funny thing when you think about it through the eyes of someone who doesn't live in New York or LA.

33:15Jason Stewart:Yeah, I think in the next coming years, it is going to go widespread all over the country, though, because it's like a great way for us to experience luxury high-end items that are still affordable. You could go and spend$20 and be a part of the top upper echelon. You can record your review of it. You get your likes and your shares, and you get to have a reason to put clothes on. As soon as you just keep inventing things like this, that's the secret to making it in our post-apocalyptic world. is just like, what is a thing that people will pay$20 for just to say you did it in the chat room or whatever just to have something to talk about?

34:01Jason Stewart:Marty Supreme or Meadow Lane.

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37:35Chris Black:fucking you can go to a third fourth tier city and it would still kind of work like i don't think it's that i don't think it's that risky i mean obviously the 20 new york price point would have to be 14 or whatever but it's still twice as much as it should be or whatever you know still double the piggly wiggly but air one i'm realizing that the air one is also just an a pretty great grocery store if money is no object like as far as like what you can get in one place where all of these places are a little more like i went to get the picture i i guess depending on what type of shop

38:09Jason Stewart:you are if i don't think they have good animal protein access yeah yeah yeah and the produce is okay it's not it's not the best but if you're if you don't but if you just want to like i want to go spend 28 on a box of sweet potato chips mama mia or you want a smoothie or whatever it is then

38:28Chris Black:you are in heaven i'm just saying i don't think people i don't think people actually i think what people think is good is unfortunately based on price and experience and not actual oh yeah is it good is it good or not you know what i'm saying like i don't like i i couldn't tell the difference

38:44Jason Stewart:between avocado i got at four different places it's it's like the average rolex buyer you know what i mean they don't give a fuck about all the whatever this and that and the mike nouveau stuff they're like that watch is dope i'm gonna buy it and every watch person is like what the fuck you bought that one you oh you bought the fucking starbucks well you can't let anybody you can't

39:02Chris Black:let yeah no one can enjoy anything because there's always someone who knows more and will tell you

39:06Jason Stewart:that whatever you got is not the best one which is sort of the basis of our podcast so we shan't

39:12Chris Black:i mean i did i did see a watch i did see a watch i liked which is unfortunate oh i know is it under or over 10 000 oh way way over way over it was stupid like mike mike and his boy julia they but I think they both, it's some Patek, but it's like pink. It's not actually pink, but it looks pink, sort of. And they both had one, but from different eras. But yeah, I don't know. It's like 50 grand.

39:36Jason Stewart:Wow, it sounds like you're saying a little Uzi lyric. Pink Patek! My Patek, little pink.

39:42Chris Black:I'm looking at a lot of pink Patek's right now. It looks bomb. It's really nice. It was really nice, and it's a little bit dressy. But I still, I mean, I would never spend$50 ,000 on a watch. That's just too crazy. is it a rose gold

39:55Jason Stewart:yeah it is

39:56Chris Black:but the face is also

39:58Jason Stewart:is it cameron pink or is it like no it's very subtle

40:03Chris Black:it's like barely you can barely like I think if they didn't refer to it as that you wouldn't even think of it that way it's rose gold but I've never thought about rose gold in my entire life

40:12Jason Stewart:okay well we do a good this year Chris we're gonna ask God for the Pepto Patic

40:17Chris Black:I've already asked him but he's not responding right now he had an out of office on

40:21Jason Stewart:It was just Christmas, bro. Give it a week.

40:24Chris Black:Can you just give it a fucking week? Did you also, something I've seen a lot online and have done no research about, is the - Also the basis of our podcast. The Bill Simmons movie list that everybody's freaking out about? Like Bill Simmons did something funny? Or it's because the nerds that like movies too much couldn't believe that he just liked rom-coms? Is that the basis of it?

40:48Jason Stewart:I saw a couple things where there was a clip of him, and they're listing the top 25 movies or whatever, and he named Limitless as number 16. And I guess if you are a film enjoyer, that is enough to bring snot out of your nose. But I don't... Have I seen Limitless? Oh, okay, Limitless.

41:11Chris Black:I don't even know what that is. I mean, I know the name. I know what it is, but I don't know.

41:14Jason Stewart:It's an American science fiction thriller starring Bradley Cooper and Robert De Niro from 2011.

41:22Chris Black:Don't let De Niro and Coop get in the room together. You're about to have one fucked up little sandwich.

41:28Jason Stewart:I saw another clip from that conversation where Bill Simmons says Mila Kunis is a 15 out of 10 on the cute scale.

41:41Chris Black:honestly everything that bill simmons is doing right now is as a ringer as a known ringer hater bill's bringing me back with this stuff this is actually cool this is actually cool this isn't fucking dorks debating you know uh box office sales or plot lines this is a guy just keeping

41:56Jason Stewart:it a stack maybe maybe old bill is like you know the viore money is getting to my hedge we had a 2026 you know pow wow with the with the c-suite 20 more bar stool you know bar stool's eating our lunch right now they're fucking killing us we're kind of the bitch compared to them let's start talking about how chicks are hot a little bit let's start i think but then when bill does it it's not like dude sydney sweeney has fucking dope ass tits he says mila kunis is 15 out of 10 on the

42:26Chris Black:cutie scale saying saying mila kunis is a 15 out of 10 on the cutie scale is is i don't even think that's i don't that's gay like that's that's not even like commenting that's not even gonna bother

42:40Jason Stewart:it's like something that your your mom says about their new grandchild yeah that that is not that is

42:46Chris Black:not a chick that you want to have sex he is not sexualizing mila whatsoever it's very that's very like i think that is really who he is is the is the thing which i i appreciate the honesty yeah

42:57Jason Stewart:let it out let it out i mean she is a 15 out of 10 on the cutie scale you know what i mean bill you ain't wrong i can't disagree um let's see here uh sprinkles has closed r.i.p i had it just a couple weeks ago is that true newport yes all all the atm cupcake atm gone i know i actually

43:17Chris Black:I did hear this and I do you think it's I mean the cupcake era has been dead for a long time but do you think I I kind of thought maybe the ATM would survive because of it's still a novelty and people still hate talking to other people but do you think it's because now we can go to a bakery and wait in a line and I'd rather do that than get then get a cupcake super quick and just gobble

43:40Jason Stewart:it down yeah it is interesting it seems like it's one of those things that rich older ladies like you know like i'm trying to think of who a good who's like a 50 year old comedian woman i mean i

43:54Chris Black:i i'm only i can only think of kathy griffin my queen okay kathy griffin good example kathy griffin should privately subsidize a sprinkles atm that she has like it's what could be access to when tommy lee had the starbucks in his house right we could do it could be something like

44:13Jason Stewart:that we're like one of the kardashians yeah kardashians put the starbucks drive-thru in there or the or the starbucks drive-thru that exists in the tunnels underneath los angeles that only celebrities can access but like there's a chinese restaurant in la called genghis cohen and it's you know it's it's had ups and downs it reopened and moved locations well i think it's doing good now but i think for a while just rich older jewish ladies who are ordering it to their house in calabasas or whatever we're keeping this shit afloat yeah like i heard barbara streisand had a standing order every Sunday, they would drive it to her house in Malibu.

44:47Jason Stewart:Like Kathy Griffin or somebody, probably somebody fatter, should be keeping just one. And they could do it all animated with AI and robots. And then the little small cart that drives down Santa Monica Boulevard brings the cupcakes to your house.

45:04Chris Black:That's a nice, I like this. I think this is a good, I agree. I think that Sprinkles, I mean, the IP is so valuable.

45:09Jason Stewart:Or at least Sprinkles should release the Sprinkles files, release the recipes.

45:14Chris Black:i don't know if i've ever it should be open open source code i don't know i don't know if i've ever had a sprinkles but are they in fact bang it i don't know if i have honestly maybe once

45:25Jason Stewart:back it's funny ryan o 'connell friend of the show he was he was doing a like a five page instagram story rant sort of memorializing sprinkles and he was like you know i'm not gonna do his his voice because it's too insane, but he was like at his most, you know, his lowest desperana phase of his life living somewhere in like West Hollywood, he said six days a week he would walk to Chipotle when Chipotle first came out and was like really hot. You know what I mean?

46:00Chris Black:When Chipotle dropped?

46:01Jason Stewart:Chipotle was meadow laning. You have to put yourself in those shoes. Put yourself in his I'm there. I'm there mentally.

46:08Chris Black:I'm getting there.

46:09Jason Stewart:In his checkerboard van slip-ons or whatever he was wearing, walks to Chipotle for lunch, has a carne asada burrito with extra cheese and sour cream or whatever he's ordering, then walks to Sprinkles where he gets four cupcakes. Oh my God. And eats two of them on the walk home and then saves two to eat later in the day. He said he did this six days a week and was rail thin.

46:37Chris Black:I was going to say, I've known Ryan long enough

46:39Jason Stewart:So what drugs was he on?

46:41Chris Black:That doesn't sound like That sounds like genetics That sounds like something only God could do Like age Age and genetics That is an otter doing 6 ,000 calories a day And he wasn't working out At that point I don't think his journey had started yet That is really impressive though I've never heard of anything like that But you're saying that sprinkles is that It was good I mean, I would only get the red velvet, I think, you know, the king of cupcakes. But did they make crazy? Did they go crumble mode and start making fucked up?

47:15Jason Stewart:No, that's the thing. They had a very, it was the Agnes B of cupcakes, just a neatly appointed selection of basics. You want chocolate with vanilla? You want vanilla with chocolate, you know? Yeah. But everything was like neat to a pin, minimal frosting adornment. But the right amount of frosting, the right temperature, the right consistency.

47:41Chris Black:And do you think that the ATM of it all, they had that so dialed that that didn't affect the quality of the cake?

47:50Jason Stewart:Oh, it affected the quality. I mean, it could have made it better the way these kids are all on fentanyl nowadays, right? God damn it. Aren't you, bro?

47:57Chris Black:I was thinking about smoking a fentanyl patch like silver juice just the other day. I was like, man, you know what? I'm just going to have a cupcake instead. i'm folded in the back room at sprinkles i just i i that sounds damn now i want to have one but i think they did that kind of thing where they like shut down overnight and all stores are closed like january 1st type vibe like i think i think it was like we're out of here there's no like all right like horses yeah last week yeah dude the room are the rumors true can we confirm that enemy of the

48:25Jason Stewart:show horses has closed uh i don't i can't confirm that 100 but that's what that's what the streets

48:31Chris Black:are saying the streets are saying horses let the employees know it's over and it's a wrap and the

48:35Jason Stewart:doors are closed and i'm sure it's over i could have saved them i wish i could have saved them

48:41Chris Black:i mean i i bet if we went on resi right now we could tell if they were closed my i know i i looked

48:47Jason Stewart:on um i told my brother about it since he's in the uh the real the real estate game and i was like what do you what do you know about this and he sent a screenshot of the google yeah like res The Google Maps thing, and it said in the red letters,

49:00Chris Black:this location is currently closed. Okay, so it's a wrap. It's a wrap. Well, you know, too bad. Look, not every horse can be tamed, brother. Hopefully, you know, it would be cool if it just turned into a bar like it used to be. I had some great nights. Turn it back to the pikey. I had great nights in coaching horses. Like, I had a lot of great. That was like, you could walk there from the standard if you needed to. it was dark enough to do a bag at the table yeah you know it was that's that's what a bar it was it was it was what the pikey i know was good but it was like a fake dive bar you know what i mean which is always tough to pull off but i think it should go back i mean i know no one's drinking

49:40Jason Stewart:anymore so i guess that's that's tough and real estate especially you know on sunset boulevard and we ho you're gonna have to sell a lot more than just 17 guinnesses a day to keep the lights

49:51Chris Black:There's only so many G's getting split to keep the lights on.

49:55Jason Stewart:The profit margins on Yorkshire Pud, not ideal. Razor thin, razor thin. So what did you do on New Year's Eve, though?

50:04Chris Black:I just went to Eric and Cassie's house. I didn't do it. We just went over there and hung out, basically, and left at 1230. Okay. I couldn't. The Dare was DJing, and we were in Fort Garryl, I don't know, somewhere in Brooklyn, and I was like, I can't go all the way to the East Village for 30 minutes. And I don't know. I think, unfortunately, I've officially hit the age where I've got to just stay in. I've got to stay in or I've got to be out of town.

50:33Jason Stewart:Right, right, right. I've noticed a lot of people have gone out of town this break. More than normal, I think. Yeah. Or maybe I'm noticing it because I didn't go.

50:45Chris Black:Well, I think it's a little bit like we are. I don't know. I feel like when you can go out of town whenever you want, I'm a little bit like, do I need to go out of town at the most expensive time when every other person on earth is out of town? Because New York is dead in a nice way. Like New York is like there's no one on the streets except tourists. It's pretty mellow. The gym is quiet. It is nice.

51:03Jason Stewart:So traveling for the holidays, unless, of course, we're in the Gulf Stream, is sort of bridge and tunnel, amateur night, amateur hour.

51:14Chris Black:Not even that. I'm just saying that I am in a fortunate enough position where if I need to go anywhere, I can just go. And it's not going to be triple the price.

51:23Jason Stewart:I'll change the weather.

51:24Chris Black:I'll change the weather, bro. It's nothing. I'm a sun chaser. I'm going to be down the keys growing my beard out. I don't need to do this. But what did you do?

51:33Jason Stewart:Went over to Al's house and chewed on a couple Blue Punishers. Had some bubbles.

51:40Chris Black:Is Blue Punisher a dick pill or is that ecstasy?

51:43Jason Stewart:Ecstasy. got it quite the opposite of a dick pill

51:49Chris Black:well that sounds I mean that's basically that's kind of what we did

51:52Jason Stewart:too no that was good but that was we were pre-gaming and we went to a party which ended up sort of being the gay comedian house party I don't

52:02Chris Black:know that many gay comedians

52:04Jason Stewart:it was Whitmer Thomas me and Whitmer Thomas me and then a hundred gay guys I love Wit.

52:13Chris Black:Shout out to Wit, man. I need to tap in with him. One of the greats.

52:18Jason Stewart:He's been killing it. I feel like his acting dance card is getting filled up.

52:24Chris Black:He's just so actually funny and actually cool and I feel like that's who deserves to succeed in Hollywood.

52:30Jason Stewart:And has a real unique look and is truly comfortable in his skin. Does not give a fuck. It's all there. 2026, we're bullish on Wit. take that to polymarket but you know bowen and and all you know the the gang was all there did

52:48Chris Black:you did you get confronted by any of these guys not for sex i just mean like for talking shit

52:53Jason Stewart:no no no no of course not i don't know bro i'm never gonna get no no i mean i wish they would for a friend of the show sam taggart from uh strati stratio lab stratio lab he was there with his man and it was i had a funny run-in sam and i were talking about la restaurants and how he's acclimating moving from new york to la and this and that and then his husband came over and he was like yeah you know it's been hard finding restaurants but do you know this podcast how long gone like they talk about food restaurants in la and you know that's been like a good guide for me so far dude and sam was like so awesome honey this is how long gone and then we all we had quite a laugh for for a while but i mean i like those interactions i mean it was the first gay guy listener of our podcast who'd never bothered to see what i look like what we look

53:50Chris Black:like yeah people and even when we did when we posted our all that is to say i'm just so proud

53:55Jason Stewart:of myself for a guy listening to me podcast it's just like we like fucking with you regard you know sight unseen in a love is blind kind of way.

54:04Chris Black:I think most people are more interested in what we have to say than looking at us and I think that's proven wrong. When you do this when we put up that thing, several comments are like, oh I can't believe it's crazy to see what they look like. It's not like we're Ion Pack in 2017. You know what I mean? It's pretty easy. You can Google our name and find

54:25Jason Stewart:hundreds or thousands of photos.

54:27Chris Black:That's what I mean. I just would never.

54:29Jason Stewart:I feel like I know what everybody

54:31Chris Black:looks like like i i you know for better or worse true that true that but yeah i guess you can avoid it if you want which is is nice that's the beauty of podcasting yeah um and speaking of our our

54:42Jason Stewart:youtube video special thank you all for for streaming it and sharing it and all that stuff we had a lot of fun doing it and and hopefully we'll be doing some more stuff like that in the

54:53Chris Black:coming year not hopefully we're doing it it's gonna be it's gonna be a pain in the ass but We're going to deliver, baby. And I can't wait. I really had a good time doing that. And I think once we've, you know, we'll have a little more time, a little more structure. Because we just had to get it done. It was a very get it done situation. But I wanted to say that.

55:12Jason Stewart:Yeah, we did it. That was our first How Long Gone Sprint. Yeah, exactly. And I kept, you know, for one week, we had to shoot, edit, upload, blah, blah, blah. And that week happened to be Christmas week. so you know not everyone i i was i was offline so i kept repeating the mantra in my head finished is better than perfect and it was a good exercise i feel like wow that's cool did

55:37Chris Black:you learn that from rick rubin's book or is that something that people say no for some reason

55:42Jason Stewart:people have been telling me that phrase all my entire life over and over again so people just see me and they say that to me and i just don't i've just taken it to her probably they ask me if I play basketball and then they tell me done is better than perfect all the time.

55:58Chris Black:Dude, we gotta start just saying that to people for no reason. Hey, look, just so you know, done is better than perfect. You know what I mean? Sometimes you gotta...

56:05Jason Stewart:Yeah, you go to the homies art show, you know, up and the go. So what do you think, bro? Hey, I mean, I'm just... It's really impressive you got it up on the walls before the deadline.

56:13Chris Black:Look, I'm just happy you got it done because I know this thing, the invitation went out and, you know, it was sort of a must-finish type situation.

56:19Jason Stewart:Yeah, art is... You're never done with the piece, you know what I mean? But I had that issue.

56:24Chris Black:When we did that, I went to the coffee shop in Burbank that was near the studio. And I love doing that. I love taking the orders, hitting the coffee shop. It makes me feel like I'm useful. I like doing that.

56:38Jason Stewart:Go for a croissant.

56:40Chris Black:So I go to this coffee shop, and it was like the most they, them, blue hair, Phoebe Bridgers coffee shop I've ever seen. in the coffee shop they had a vending machine for basically science fiction novels like that's how

56:55Jason Stewart:dorky i'd never seen any i literally this was some this was a slice of asheville north carolina

57:01Chris Black:in the very very very ashville it was a full-size vending machine it had books in it you know i mean it wasn't like it wasn't like it was a sprinkles and it was erotic ya sci-fi it was very erotic ya sci-fi and i was just the whole thing was stunning to me and they i was just I was literally, there was a woman in the corner who was there to put tinsel in girls' hair. You would go pay her. It was all insane. It was all insane. But then I put the coffees.

57:29Jason Stewart:It feels like in the olden times when you get off the train in some random city, but the city is run by lesbians. And it's just sharing their different wares.

57:41Chris Black:Every corner I looked in, I was like, this is crazy. And I was like, I need to go to the bathroom. I'm going to wait. I don't want to go in the bathroom here. I feel like I'd see something I don't need to see, and it would just be too much. I can't open another door here.

57:52Jason Stewart:You have to do a toilet acknowledgement before you use it.

57:59Chris Black:Oh, shit. This is from the Toto tribe. So I get the coffees, and it's a full holder or whatever.

58:08Jason Stewart:Yeah, the little recycled drink caddy.

58:10Chris Black:Oh, you know this shit was recycled. so I put it in the front seat of the rental car and I'm very careful and all these iced coffees are full to the brim and I'm pretty pleased with myself because I'm a little bit clumsy if I'm keeping it a buck and I'm wearing a suit so I'm like wow I really can't spill that would fuck with continuity

58:29Jason Stewart:you should have the little makeup artist bib around your neck

58:33Chris Black:I should have been wearing a full robe so I get back I park the car I go around to get the coffee out of the passenger seat because that's the safest. I feel like I'm not going to reach over it and juggle it. I sit it on top of the car.

58:46Jason Stewart:Your core strength isn't there.

58:48Chris Black:Go ahead. Definitely not. I, for one millisecond, place it on the roof of the car so I can close the door, lock up, and bring everybody's treats inside. One iced coffee tumbles off, explodes onto the floor, onto the concrete. I jump back and narrowly avoid ruining the whole thing by standing my tie. Not a single drop of this 16-ounce iced coffee got on my clothing or my shoes. And I looked at that as a sign that my agility and my athleticism is where I want it to be.

59:25Jason Stewart:Your cat-like reflexes have only been increased with the Chinese peptides coursing through your thick veins. But I think more importantly, you think with the mental clarity. Well, that's the other thing. You're not thinking. Your body is reacting before you think. in the same way that if I drop my phone, I instinctively kick it or put my foot underneath it to shelter the blow. And that's how I'm able to go caseless despite not being a millionaire. And you were thinking, or like famously to no one, I was riding my bicycle. I was like 22 or something like that, riding my bicycle down Hollywood Boulevard, fixed gear cycle, and a taxi cab cuts me off.

1:00:09Jason Stewart:I crash into it, go flying over my handlebars, over the taxi, landing in the middle by the Tommy Burger on the freeway on Hover Boulevard. Oh, God. I had less than$1 ,000 to my name, but I had a MacBook in my backpack. Of course. And if something happened to that, my life is essentially over. And instead of protecting my body, skull, bones, or whatever, I instinctively rolled to protect my laptop. The only thing I cared about was not breaking my laptop. And for you, it's the same story.

1:00:42Chris Black:Your case logic could only do so much.

1:00:44Jason Stewart:My WESC laptop sleeve is only going to do so much, Chris.

1:00:49Chris Black:Jason said, I'm willing to sacrifice my destroyed body, but this WESC case logic collab is not going to save the black MacBook. Oh, man. Signed by Stretch Armstrong. It's not a big deal. Not to stunt. Yeah, I was just. But you did the same thing with your tie. Exactly. I did not want to. It was a new tie. I'd gotten it at Beams in Japan. I was really happy with it. And if I would have spilled coffee on it, it really would have ruined it. We would have had to talk about it.

1:01:15Jason Stewart:I think that's the first... Yeah, yeah. Which could be a nice little sea story arc.

1:01:20Chris Black:No, it would have been great. It would have been fine, but that's what I was thinking of.

1:01:24Jason Stewart:Well, what this means, Chris, is you are now a bona fide content creator where you're willing to sacrifice everything before the continuity.

1:01:34Chris Black:Yeah, exactly. That's why Aiden Ross

1:01:36Jason Stewart:I'm basically podcasting with Stanley freaking Kubrick. And speaking of ties, you gave me a great tie for Christmas. It is a blue and green how long gone diagonal striped necktie. I haven't had a chance to wear it yet. I guess I'll wear it to the podcast awards next year or whatever. Yeah, save that. It's an Anderson and Shepard. Well, I saw that. Beautiful piece.

1:01:59Chris Black:It came up on my, I don't know what I was doing. I think I was just looking at the Anderson Shepard website, which says a lot about me. and I was like just scroll in on a week they made a how long gone rep stripe I should get this for Jason because it just feels like we can't both wear it that's too much you know what I mean

1:02:17Jason Stewart:Chris Black again not defeating the great gift giver allegations

1:02:21Chris Black:it felt like something that one of us needed to have it was one of those situations somebody's got to have this

1:02:26Jason Stewart:and it's nice because sometimes we'll look at people will send us fine artworks

1:02:33Chris Black:there's a lot of Ellsworth Kelly how long gone colors

1:02:36Jason Stewart:We get a lot of Ellsworths, and some of those pieces are not necessarily in the gift-giving price range. You know what I mean? Like, oh, Chris would love this paddock, but Chris would love this E. Kelly, but -

1:02:46Chris Black:Yeah, we can't hit that. Yeah, it's currently at auction for$4.5 million, and we're not super liquid right now, them jeans voice.

1:02:53Jason Stewart:I think the guest bath will be okay without it for now.

1:02:56Chris Black:Yeah, the garage gym can live without this Ellsworth-Kelly original.

1:03:01Jason Stewart:Dude, Kelly in the garage gym, I leave the door open overnight. Fuck it. I wish you would try to steal my Ellsworth.

1:03:07Chris Black:I dare you to come in here. I got the stick on me. All right, look, How Long Gone. We appreciate you guys listening. We're happy to be back for 2026. We'll be back with more podcasts. We'll be back with more video. We will be back with more interviews, more of the same. I'm going to have a GoPro strapped to me. He's going to have a light strapped to him. Don't worry about it. Next episode of our How Long Gone Talk Soup, I'm wearing the Petzl the whole time, especially if they're willing to cut a check. so just you guys I'm sure they're based in Boulder or something you guys get in touch

1:03:38Jason Stewart:call our people Petzl make me go to ARIA

1:03:43Chris Black:that is all thank you guys for listening we'll talk to you soon later Eat zucchini, eat zucchini, eat zucchini, eat zucchini. Do you read me? Like an emoji? I want you, I want you, I want you.

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