890. - Zoe Dubno

12:04Jason Stewart:gene's voice well at what cost and then you know if you're i would say it's a tall order trying to convince the rest of the world that mandy moore could do wrong you know what i mean mandy moore

12:15Zoe Dubno:is a statuesque beauty that we love and respect and have always loved and respected even though she couldn't make it work with uh ryan adams but that's a whole nother you know i don't have time to get into that i'm not buying it yeah like a jar of truffle oil i'm not buying it's definitely not her it's him um all right we have a guest today uh zoe dubnow is a writer um her book happiness and love a novel is out everywhere now wherever you get books i'm seeing two covers online. I'm assuming there's a UK version and a US version. The best part about this is Zoe, so accomplished, went to college in Newark, Jason.

12:50Zoe Dubno:For real? Trade college? She's a mechanic as well, but there's stuff to do in Newark besides get on an airplane. I just wanted to point that out before we get started.

13:00Jason Stewart:Let's give her a Zoom. Not yet. Let's give Zoe a call.

13:06Zoe Dubno:This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by BetterHelp. We're in mid-March, Jason, and the biggest thing for me in March, besides obviously the flowers blooming in spring, showing a little peak of skin, it's International Women's Day was this month, Jason. It's a moment to celebrate women's strength and progress while also recognizing how much they carry every day. They got strong shoulders when they're dealing with people like us. Between caring for others and managing unseen responsibilities, their emotional well-being can easily be overlooked. Over here at BetterHelp and How Long Gone, we want to remind women how much they matter and that therapy offers a space for them to take care of themselves in a way that they deserve.

13:47Jason Stewart:Yeah, that's right. Because fellas out there, we don't want to talk, right? We just want to, you know, let me rub your feet a little bit, you know, make you a nice tea before bed, something digestive, maybe do a little gua sha. But what we won't do is talk about your problems because we don't want to hear it. And that's what BetterHelp is for. Take a moment to celebrate the woman in your life by blessing her with some BetterHelp. Her emotional well-being matters. Find support and feel lighter as your lady feels lighter with therapy. Sign up and get 10 % off at betterhelp.com slash howlong. That is better, H-E-L-P, as in please take out the trash.com slash howlong.

14:30Zoe Dubno:This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Jason, all I do all day long when I should be doing my little work is click and surf on different websites that I find on the World Wide Web. And the reason there's so many is because Squarespace exists to help people of all shapes and sizes get their ideas and small businesses and videos and photos online for someone like me to peruse when I should be working.

14:56Jason Stewart:All day, I dream about sites and Squarespace gives me the best site visit to visit my sites. We got all the backend analytic tools. We want to review that traffic. Where is it coming in? So we can focus on how to get that engagement going. Squarespace gives you everything you need to get paid if you are selling stuff. Showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. and the most important part with Squarespace's back end. We're getting paid on time, not some weird net 90 stuff. And of course, thanks to our friends with Blueprint AI, Squarespace is offering up those cutting edge designs.

15:40Jason Stewart:We can pop in one of their templates, seamlessly surf or customize it as OCD as you please.

15:47Zoe Dubno:Head to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code howlong to save 10 % off your first purchase of a website or domain. Are you wearing a nose strip? Like an air breather? Are we not supposed to talk about the visuals?

16:04Jason Stewart:You can talk about it. I don't care. I don't care. I mean, it's an audio only podcast. I've never seen someone wearing that in like, you know, around. Except for like an old man that I know.

16:14Zoe Dubno:Well, I like around. As far as one minute ago, Jason's an old man you know. So it's not really that, you know, it's in the same zone. No, I'm talking about a 90 year old. Thank you so much. I'm sorry, I didn't go to college in Newark. I went to Oberlin, which is in Ohio. But I did my fiction MFA in Newark, but what I will say is it was mostly on Zoom because it was COVID. So I really didn't have to go to Newark that often. Okay, so I know that Rutgers is a popular learning institution. I assume it's a commuter school for someone in your position, no matter what. No one's living in Newark. Yes, but you know what?

16:55Newark is nice, kind of. There are nice elements of Newark.

16:59Zoe Dubno:Of course, I'm sure. I mean, New Jersey gets a bad rap overall, I would say. Well, I had probably never been to New Jersey as an active choice besides to go through it until I did my MFA at Rutgers. And a lot of the other people were New Jersey-ish people. And they kept getting mad at me because I kept being like, wait, New Jersey is actually kind of nice. I kept being like, wait, guys. And they were like, yo, we live here. but I was shocked.

17:25Jason Stewart:I think as you get a little bit older, as you get a little bit older and your priorities in life change, I think New Jersey's bosom becomes more enticing. How did you get there? My dad is from New York and New Jersey was always a negative just, oh, it's so New Jersey. It was the butt of a joke forever. It's the worst thing that you could be was New Jersey. To see that it was actually just normal suburbs, houses like you know i don't like westchester that much but it's just the same i did i thought that there

17:57Zoe Dubno:was you know of course something yeah extra bad i mean i think if i look i think that would you rather this is a fun question would you rather live in new jersey or brooklyn brooklyn duh but see why why what what carries a worse stigma to you is that a duh zoe two things i got my driver's license two weeks ago congratulations welcome to adulthood thank you damn you're so nyc with it that's crazy 30 it was that i'm 30 and then i was like well yeah that is i didn't need a license until my boyfriend was basically like i don't like being the only adult like it's fine that i'll drive but like let's say we're somewhere like we we went on a long drive somewhere in france and he was like let's say i broke my leg like let's say that then i would have to drive with a broken leg yeah that's what a man that's what a fucking man does i guess i guess your boyfriend doesn't listen to fucking joe rogan i don't want a chick driving no he doesn't i would just call it uber i don't think they have uber in like provence like the deep or maybe they probably do deep provence it's like getting a haircut if i show up and i see a chick i say i'm gonna wait for the next guy i'm not get my hair cut by a chick and I'm not really tell your man to stop traveling to places with

19:12Jason Stewart:roads man I just go to like where it's like golf cart that's what he said he was like we're never going anywhere with roads again unless you learn how to drive and so then I was like okay fine because I like to do it and then I make demands being like we like because we were in Marseille and I was like we have to rent a car we have to do and he's like oh fine but I get it because now that I know how to drive you have to rent a car now that I know how to drive I'm like I drove on the highway for the first time and I was like, this is so scary that I'm in charge and I could kill people, including my friends and family.

19:45So now I'm like, I'm glad that I know how to drive.

19:48Jason Stewart:But do you know how to drive, Zoe? I know you technically have your... No, no. I know you have a document that says you're legally allowed to, but you're not exuding confidence behind the wheel. Okay, what kind of car do you have, Zoe? Sorry. I don't have a car. I have a Zipcar membership, which is really nice. Three Zs up. I, my, I do, my brother said that he will put me on the, my brother and I live in the same building and he said he'll put me on the insurance of his Audi. But I'm like, actually don't. Because I'm going to crash it. Like, I really don't want to crash it. And that's why the zip car, it's like, I got the maximum coverage.

20:22Okay. Like, it's like, if I crash it, they probably pay me or something.

20:25Zoe Dubno:Yeah, you're coming out on top. Or whatever. What is the, you know, I used to drive a zip car, you know, when I first moved to New York and I would always get in them and it would clearly have been used for a drug deal. or sexual intercourse just minutes before. Yep. So, okay, that's still the case. It smells bad in there. It smells bad. But I'm not using it that often. You got to go to Ikea, though. That often. Like, I went to the Korean spa. Are you getting the nicer car, at least? Or are you getting the Honda Civic with backwards on the floor? They're all the same. Okay. No, I, okay, so I had driving lessons from a beautiful man named Walid, and he had the driving thingy car was, I believe, a Prius or some kind of Toyota, that shaped thing.

21:08So I now will only rock the Toyota, you know, whatever you call that shape of car.

21:14Jason Stewart:Okay, you like a small, mid-sized... Regular. Little vehicle. It's not a Mini Cooper, but it's not a 7 Series. My dad is crazy. It's like a car that somebody who went to Oberlin would drive. Yeah, because especially if you're rich and you're trying to hide it. If you're rich and trying to hide it. No, that's called a Subaru. That's what makes a Subaru a Subaru. Is that someone from Oberlin... A Prius and a Subaru, they swim in similar circles. But they don't have ice. It doesn't have ice handling, does it? Because it gets so icy. It gets so icy. I listened to your episode yesterday or whatever with that very nice guy that lives in Ohio.

21:52And I was thinking, I lived in Ohio in a liberal arts college town. and so that episode hit different for you queen well yeah well i was really thinking imagine some like hipster man got rid of all his clothes while i was at oberland we would have gone crazy but you actually didn't even need that because that's what all the thrift stores there are anyway like

22:11Zoe Dubno:they're just full of like see the difference is aaron lives in ohio and drives a 911 with snow

22:17Jason Stewart:tires on it oh my god zoe you're a married woman you need to stop just chill down over yeah you're I'm a little too excited about Erin. First of all, I'm not married. I have a fiance. But also, that's crazy. To live in Ohio? To drive that round in Ohio? Yeah. What? Do you say drive that round? That's a nice little... Drive that round! Did I say that? I don't think that... But I assumed Oberlin... I don't know if that was an Ohio...

22:40Zoe Dubno:I feel like Oberlin has plenty of Subarus, but I also feel like there's a lot of like, oh, this is my parents' old Land Rover Discovery. That's more... No, no. There's none of that. Oh, my God. You'd get literally stoned to death. You'd get stoned to death if you had a Land Rover, even an old one. So you have to pretend that you're middle class no matter what? Yeah. Oh, my God. But there was a guy who his dad was on the board of the college. And he would wear this really crusty hat and have this patchy beard. And he would always be smoking rollies outside of the library and bumming filters off of people.

23:20and like oh like i'm a little he's picking out cigarette butts from the trash can god and i'm like your dad is the chair of the board of our college okay okay but zoe zoe answer me

23:31Zoe Dubno:this was he hot though no okay no what is the classic give us a breakdown of classic what is a classic oberlin hot guy like what are the kind of virtues anyone who is over five eight is immediately a 10. Well, first of all, I'm 5 '9", maybe even 5 '10". So, like, that... Seriously, if I'm going to say about 5 '8", that's what you have to understand.

23:56Jason Stewart:Okay, you're 5 '10 after a Sky Ting sesh, but 5 '8... Damn, that's a low bar. That's right. It's a low bar.

24:03Zoe Dubno:So you're saying all these little nerds that want to write books and, you know, vote for Bernie are short. Oh, a lot of the time. But no, there were a couple of tall kings, and the way that they you know behaved like it it's like oh you could really slaughter and also at that college like it was full of hot chicks like and i don't say this because it's like so annoying when girls are always like oh my god all my friends are beautiful and there's no like hot guys in the world like no actually my best friend who's a guy it was like obscene what he was getting up to because and never again in his life has he been able to like top the kind of doggery that he was old.

24:44I've seen his whole life.

24:45Jason Stewart:You said the sheer doggery? Doggery. Yeah, the doggery. Is the Oberlin mascot a squirrel? No. Well, kind of. The Oberlin mascot is... Why are we talking about Oberlin so much? The Oberlin mascot is a yeoman. A yeoman, which is a farmer that works the land. And I believe also, I think he's a land owning farmer to separate himself from perhaps the peasantry, the serps i believe in yelman is a you know man who owns his own thing he does have slams and then they would call the girl does he no no because overland is a very abolitionist place okay oh you don't say nobody was it was a thing on the underground railroad there was like a place like you couldn't see it and they were the first college to let in black people like the first integrated college well there's well yeah but there's not any more now no there are there are i mean there's just there's fewer than there are white people there's a shit ton of white people but it's not when when you showed up to oberlin how far into the pitch did they tell you that they were the first people to accept black people before that's before she signed up that's on the website that's the scrolling bar on the website okay okay well i just googled oberlin mascot and currently as of 2019 right before covid really interesting their mascot is an albino squirrel named yobi no so okay so so that's always been the unofficial mascot the unofficial mascot was always the albino squirrel because there's these like white squirrels all around overland and it's like a thing and there's a nasty drink all the of all the colors of the squirrels wouldn't you know i'll tell you what these white squirrels sound

26:19Zoe Dubno:like these guys that are under five eight you're saying these are different okay i i got it so

26:23Jason Stewart:when you and your friends get a little too tipsy off the fireball shots you say we're gonna go squirrel hunting today oh my god like to eat a squirrel to eat one no to go try to fuck some short guys oh oh i get it i get it i get it i get it and you don't have to say that they're albino

26:42Zoe Dubno:because we all know so what are the what are the but what are the look all right so these guys are short but are they swaggy at least is there a level of je ne sais quoi yeah every so everyone is in a like noise band or some kind of like punk adjacent like midwest emo even though they're from brooklyn band and like they've got the big fat carabiner of like 37 keys to nothing and like the carhartt pant because if you wanted to like purchase workwear items you had two options there were new workwear items at extremely good stores at extremely good prices or all of the thrift stores are full of like legit like you know people stuff and so everyone was looking amazing like everyone was like look at like it was an amazing and the girls everyone was stressed it was like a you know ad for i don't know what like kim gordon or something okay yeah kim gordon advertising of course famously loves yourself you could advertise at overland kim deal she's from ohio okay whatever anyway boring wow that's a great point i didn't know you had all right so You left Ohio as soon as you could still, I assume.

27:57Zoe Dubno:You didn't like it that much. Yeah, duh. Well, look, I don't know. Ohio to Newark. You can't live there. First of all, I didn't even know how to drive. I'm in the middle of nowhere, Ohio, not knowing how to drive, relying on my friends from LA to drive me to the wine store. You had to know how to drive, and I just still refused because I was too scared. That's the perfect place to learn, to be fair, but I understand you had other priorities. You sound like every boyfriend that I had in college. Yeah, because guys are smart. I didn't say I was going to teach you.

28:25Jason Stewart:That's very different. I know now. I wanted to shift gears a little bit. You've said being from New York is a mental illness. Yeah. I guess it's just not really a healthy way of existing, but it's the only way that you can exist, I think, from New York. I don't know when I said, is that in my book? I think I said that probably in the book. But I don't know. I'm thinking of one of my friends. His mom is an 80-year-old lady who's from the West Village. and during covid he tried to get her to like come to his house in vermont and she drove like an eight-year-old woman she drove from the west village to vermont and then after maybe like i think 24 hours was like gotta get back like everything's gotta get back like like and that is kind of how i am like if i'm in nature and stuff for a little bit too long i'm like but what if i need to like go in duane reed for no reason i know i mean i need to have proximity to medical supplies and pharmaceuticals and things like that at all times or just like whatever like

29:25Zoe Dubno:nail clipper you know anything i mean i was i was reading somewhere it was complaining about the door dash that like the the whole point of new york is that you can go get whatever you want all the time and we've started to now yeah just stay inside of our tiny houses and have guys bring us a coffee it's like it's actually insane that's the whole point that's what you're paying for is the convenience. I know. And then stuff closes. And then because of these DoorDash idiots, I used to have three Dwayne Reeds within a five block radius of me and that's beautiful. That's a beautiful thing. And now I only have one.

29:56Zoe Dubno:We've covered the great pharmacy shutdown and it is shocking, honestly. My favorite though is I saw the CVS by Dwayne Reed. Have you seen that sign? Because it's like they bought. Is that a collab? Wait, what? Or Dwayne Reed. Walgreens. Walgreens. Walgreens. I'm sorry. it's Walgreens by Dwayne Reed is the sign. And I was like, wow, that is extremely confusing stuff up there. Can I tell you something sad, which is that when I lived in Ridgewood, um, that is sad. I'm sorry for your loss. I know the, the, uh, that's where I moved after I finished overland. The, um, Walgreens was actually a Walgreens, not a Dwayne Reed, like, because we were so far outside of the city that it was like, not Dwayne Reed branded.

30:40And I was like, I got to move. My mom came to visit me and she was like, why do you live where Archie Bunker lives? This is fucked up.

30:49Zoe Dubno:You're right here in Ridgewood next to Archie Bunker, bitch. We paid too much for this college. Get a job. That's right. She was like, it's kind of cute.

30:58Jason Stewart:Why? Walgreens is having the last laugh on you, Manhattanite losers. Dwayne Reed's days are numbered, guys. Because you guys have too many criminals.

31:08Zoe Dubno:Yeah, those places, you can't go in those places because there's nothing for sale. that that's like the whole i mean that's really the issue i know that's why i have to have my

31:16Jason Stewart:nail clippers dropped to me from a drone onto my rooftop and i go up there while i'm i go up there while i'm tanning is that for real no no that was that was also from your book where you said people who can't afford to go travel during the summertime to the hamptons or whatever oh yeah they try to convince other people that tanning on the rooftop is chic that's true if they're hot No, but I was just wondering if in LA you guys really have drones. Yeah, drone delivery is a real thing. Yeah, not in all parts of the country, but on Amazon. In certain areas, you can order something. A drone goes to your backyard and drops a package of whatever it is, and that's it.

31:54The flying drone. The flying drone.

31:55Jason Stewart:Flying drone, yes. Oh, wow.

31:57Zoe Dubno:Jason, I didn't even know that. Really? No, I've only seen... I mean, I've seen the little robot delivery things, but I've never seen... I've never seen that.

32:04Jason Stewart:Yeah, it's not really in places where you guys hang out. It's more rural locations where they have bigger landing areas. It's like Uber chopper. You can find it if you want it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly, exactly. Wow. But people are doing it as like a party game. I guess that's how dark our existence is where like you'll order some beers or whatever and have the drone drop it in your backyard and it's like that's the activity of your hang sesh. I got to say that's pretty sick.

32:31Zoe Dubno:I mean. Alternatively, it is pretty sick. If you need a six-pack in the local gas station, 20-minute drive away, and for 30 minutes, I get a drone delivery, I mean, that's pretty good.

32:39Jason Stewart:I can't drive.

32:40Zoe Dubno:I'm drunk. I'm drunk as hell. What's that thing called where they come and in LA, it's like a little robot man? What is it called? I don't know what the company is called, actually. I think it's Saymo. Oh, wait, but isn't Waymo the car? Is it the same company?

32:58Jason Stewart:It may be the same. I don't know. Is it? Yeah, it's called Saymo. it's the it's the autonomous autonomous food delivery robot from serve robotics that's a

33:07Zoe Dubno:serve honey that's a serve i've never i've never used that i that's too far for me no i see it

33:14Jason Stewart:every day like i went to i had drinks and dinner two nights ago at stir crazy on melrose and there's just constant same activity going back and forth and i always wonder who is like put my pho and egg roll delivery in this plastic box drive it down through a maze full of human feces and then hope that somebody doesn't steal it and then you go downstairs and your food's in there

33:39Zoe Dubno:it just feels hey bro i need my van lewins stat and i gotta get if i if i was uh down on my luck

33:45Jason Stewart:and unhoused i would be robbing those little samos every single day can you bust them down that easy i don't think it's that easy but when there's a will there's a way i'm smoking that tina i got a screwdriver i'm getting in that bitch yeah yeah yeah it's funny that you saw it stir crazy because the only person i know who's told me that they've gotten it is my friend rebecca who has owns the bookstore next to stir crazy and is and is married with the stir crazy guy and she told me that she would get like little little treats on that or maybe it was her friend that works there also i

34:18Zoe Dubno:don't know why we're so it makes sense over there i don't know why we're so offended by it because i feel like it's it's like anything else you you you make fun of it until you do it you're like well this is pretty good i mean i'm not offended by it i just really hope that it leads which it obviously won't to like everybody just getting paid to do nothing but oh you're looking okay it gets rid of the job but it's fine because that person just gets paid we're we're all being

34:42Jason Stewart:replaced yeah we're all being replaced by robots but by the time that happens we'll just figure out a universal basic income and everything's gonna be okay right guys there's that book full luxury automated communism hell yeah i'm sorry i'm not familiar with this concept i know i live

34:58Zoe Dubno:in zoran's new york but he's busy fixing potholes so i think he's yeah for our listeners at home

35:03Jason Stewart:when she said hell yeah she also did some kind of like rock and roll like double horns is that the shaka shaka is this no no i did i did this you did horns okay i did the rock and roll You did the rock and roll. You did like, I'm a badass rocker kind of. This is the shocker. Oh, my God. This is the shocker. And then this means I love you in sign language. Okay. And another Oberlin thing. There was like a llama. And you'd make this with your hands to say that you were in agreement at the food co-op.

35:36Zoe Dubno:Oh, my God. What the fuck did you just say to us? Y 'all are fucked up. We're going to NYU like an adult. What the fuck are you doing out there? No. Ew. NYU My nieces learned sign language At school And I was like why the fuck aren't you learning a real language What good is this going to be How many fucking deaf people do you know Like learn Spanish There's tons of deaf people Yeah but you know what I'm saying There's better ways to spend time If you're going to learn a language So you're saying work big to small is what you're saying Yeah I was just like that's cute I disagree Knowing some sign language is amazing No, because my aunt is a deaf educator and hard of hearing, and she teaches sign language in the public schools.

36:19Okay, all right, here we go. Well, good for her.

36:22Zoe Dubno:Must be nice. But what I'm saying is it's actually amazing because when you hang out with deaf people and they're all just signing, they're all just signing with each other. It's like when I get my nails done and I can't understand what they're saying about me. That's right. It's the same shit. That's right. I'm not saying that.

36:36Jason Stewart:Which is why it's more important and beneficial for Chris to learn Vietnamese or Chinese instead of –

36:41Zoe Dubno:I'm studying Vietnamese right now. actually because I know they're talking shit about my big old dogs. The only things that he can say right now is white devil and you know the other They just kept saying it over and over so I finally looked it up and I noticed it was white devil.

36:57Jason Stewart:I learned how to say hunky in Vietnamese today, wouldn't you?

37:00Zoe Dubno:Yeah, I just

37:03Jason Stewart:Gorgeous man I want a Gorgeous man. I want a transition into food We talk about food on this pod a lot and there's some food subjects in your book, so I feel like you're a little at least food adjacent. You said receiving someone's salad dressing recipe is a signifier that you've had sex with the dressing maker. Has this been ripped from the headlines of your own life? Have you ever been shagging a salad artist and he or she or they bestowed you their vinaigrette ratios? Did you have sex with Paul Newman before he died?

37:37Zoe Dubno:That's crazy. Oh my God, I wish. Even at like 90. oh yeah you would tap that nine-year-old yeah i mean who wouldn't who wouldn't get over here bring a vinaigrette and hurry yeah that's ew the actually i wouldn't because those for for the reason of the salad dressing because i don't want that like the bottle salad dressing is so nasty what are you stop being a snob what's wrong with the bottle look it's paul it's like a emulsified like it's like emulsified um to be honest with you i plead the fifth on that because suddenly i have a memory involving the salad dressing that somebody once told me that and I now I'm realizing that yeah like I think when I wrote it I was just like making a joke

38:13Jason Stewart:would you have would you have answered that question if you weren't engaged maybe yeah probably okay but I doubt my boyfriend will listen to this like I doubt he'll listen I mean

38:23Zoe Dubno:you don't know he's probably he's probably in our demo unless he what does he do for a living is he like a fucking he's so not in your demo that it's amazing and like angelic and sweet like I feel like every ex-boyfriend I've ever had is in your demo and then my boyfriend literally didn't know who the Grateful Dead was recently. He's that in... He's British.

38:41Jason Stewart:That's amazing. So he's more of a fish guy. No, yeah, he doesn't know what that is either. He's like, I don't know what's weirder, not knowing what the Grateful Dead is, or following the Grateful Dead around, which is actually the weirder thing. That's a good point. Really good point. Yeah. Okay, so you got a British square. He doesn't know anything about your cool stuff, but what does he know about? What is he an expert in?

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41:39Jason Stewart:No credit card. Need it. Go to ShipStation.com and use the code HOWLONG for 60 days for free. 60 days gives you plenty of time to see exactly how much time and money you're saving on every shipment. That's ShipStation.com. code how long shipstation.com code how long he is an expert in languages he speaks like eight languages okay here we go okay yeah he's like a phd he's just like a nerd he's a true nerd he's but you know what he does know because he's british both of his parents were punks like actual punks like his mom had one of those amazing hairdos like a like not anymore when they were young you mean like a mohawk no like she had like what it's vidal sassoon right yeah yeah yeah the og punk like really i actually have like a ch like a chelsea cut like like only bangs in the front oh my god no that would be like you mean the thing where the skinheads shave the whole head off and then that yeah that's right that's right like a punk haircut no no like the like the like the punk you said that she had a cool hairdo the punks she's referencing she's referencing

42:50Zoe Dubno:Vidal Sassoon, so it's more of a salon cutting edge cut of the 70s and 80s. It's like where it's literally standing up on your head, like giant thing. It's just a liberty spike. No, but the whole hair. Whatever. Whatever. Okay. Whatever.

43:06Jason Stewart:Like Marge Simpson? You're talking about Marge Simpson? He's actually sort of similar to the Marge Simpson, but just shorter. My mother-in-law looks like Marge Simpson. It's going straight up. Okay, so your fiancé's mom is a black guy. Got it. Cool. Cool little high and tight fade. Very cool. They're so progressive over there. British people aren't really known for that. So your man is a British linguist. Yeah. He teaches language, I'm assuming. He's so weird because they weren't allowed to... He never listened to the Beatles until recently. Because he only was allowed to... His dad was like, the Beatles, that's gay.

43:45We listened to David Bowie in this house. That's cool. We were listening to the Beatles and he was like this is pretty good is this like an indie band from like the 2000s and i was like are you

43:54Zoe Dubno:fucking kidding me i didn't realize i didn't realize interpol sounded like this is your fiance

43:59Jason Stewart:13 how how does he manage to get through life 34 that's i i don't know that's what i kept being like i don't know but then you know what he's read like every book in the history of the world basically so i was like all right i guess you got he chose to focus he chose to focus on other things that's right okay but it is funny because i'm like you you've ended up with me who like worked at v files you know what i mean like it's just like i'm an idiot nice way to slide that in nice way to slide that inside i didn't know you were a v files graduate oh yeah i made i i wrote a lot of the v files videos i wrote and edited a lot of them with what's the what's the chick's

44:38Zoe Dubno:name now that has like a kid that moved away that was like the danielle yeah oh my god i love danielle I love Danielle's videos I didn't write Danielle's videos that's all 100 % You're telling me that the V-Files Corporation Had enough foresight to have someone Pre-write that stuff? No no not that please not that I wrote all of the there was a robot Like video V-Files Data Where it was about fashion history and it was Basically just text to speech Scripts that I like research and write About fashion history it was a very I was like It was while I was at Oberlin it was a very fun Little side dog oh that is funny okay yeah

45:11Jason Stewart:Well, I guess speaking of fashion, and we could talk about V-Files and stuff, but you were talking about something that I've always wondered about as well in your book, the kind of giant fashion magazines that cost$79 at Mulberry Iconic. And who is this for? Who's buying it? Who's making it? Is it a money laundering front for Russian oligarchs? Is it a Nepo Baby's pet project? do you think those are going to be the only magazines that are left in our not too distant future? Oh my god that's a scary question. What if those were the only magazines left? They don't have any words in them. I like some of them but that would be crazy They are lacking in words I will agree with you on that I don't think people buy those magazines for words though I know but like I don't go to the bookstore For a beautiful editorial shoot right?

46:04They're gorgeous but let's say you go to the airport and you're at the Hudson News and you can only buy like, actually, I love this magazine. My friend does its scenery. And it's like, okay. So I'm on like an eight-hour flight. I've got a picture book. And I'm like... Damn, these couches are sick. And it weighs 30 pounds.

46:21Jason Stewart:You tried to bring the magazine on and the gate agent's like, sorry, they put it inside the little luggage thing and it doesn't fit. We got to check that. Check it.

46:28Zoe Dubno:Got to check that. Here's a tag. Here's a tag. It's going back to 36A.

46:33Jason Stewart:Well, I mean, so if it is like a money laundering front or a front for something nefarious, you know, Chris has more eyeballs on it because he's a part of the media a little bit more. So, yeah. How exactly does that laundering launder? Jason, none of those things make enough money to make it worth it laundering.

46:53Zoe Dubno:That's the problem.

46:54Jason Stewart:I think it's their intention is not to make money. It's to hide money, I guess. Right. Right. Like, you know, that place Rice to Riches, like the rice pudding place. Of course. Of course. I don't know if I should talk about this. For listeners at home, there's a restaurant in the middle of Manhattan that just sells rice pudding. There's more than one location, actually, now. They've expanded. It appears to be very popular and that nobody goes there at the same time. It's a marvel that it exists. But you know it was started as a money laundering thing, and then it accidentally became too famous.

47:26I've heard that rumor.

47:27Zoe Dubno:I've heard the rumor that it was a money laundering thing, but you're saying they had to chill out because it got popular. Yeah, because they were like, what does everybody hate? Rice pudding. Great. We'll have a company. We'll get no sales. And then we'll just launder our money. But then everyone was like, this rice pudding, kind of delicious. And then they were doing too well to launder the money. But I don't know if that's true. That's one of those things.

47:47Jason Stewart:I want that story to be true. I mean, I feel like that's a TV show plot right there. It's an amazing idea.

47:53Zoe Dubno:I used to walk by Rice to Riches all the time when I was going to Pinkberry, which clearly has been outlasted for, at this point, a decade by the rice service.

48:02Jason Stewart:Basically, cold rice pudding.

48:03Zoe Dubno:Yeah. They opened another one, though, which leads me to believe that your theory is correct. Zoe, have you had the rice pudding? It's really good. It's so good. It's so nasty, though. It's like, it's too, you shouldn't eat that. Like, they're right. You eat it, and you're like, I shouldn't be eating this. But it's actually so good. Can you give me a mouthfeel description of someone who hasn't sampled it? um it's like super creamy but then there's bits like i there's like little bits like it's like like it's it's not it's like imagine a smoothie like a smoothie was not a smoothie like what's

48:37Jason Stewart:like unctuous it's unctuous i think maybe you maybe something like a like a clam chowder it's a it's a silky smoothie rich thing but then oh there's a bit in here oh hell no i clam chowder now i can never had it have okay chris here's a better analogy for you an asahi bowl with a blueberries and diced pineapples don't get me too excited don't get me too excited but i mean that's too good about his texture that's a better texture what about like boba got it no too big of a surprise distinct boba like distinct like this is just like a kind of like a like a gelatinous layer and then suspended within are these like not quite hard enough to be very distinct because it's not like a crunchy bit it's like a soft bit also but just like it's like a raisin.

49:23Zoe Dubno:But you can choose flavors, correct? Yes.

49:27Jason Stewart:Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure they got a vanilla, whatever. But I'm saying you're not going raw dog. You're getting like cacao or some shit on it. I think I got cinnamon. I think I've gotten cinnamon. Hey, Poppy, let me get this. Cinnamon is a classic rice brand. The Akiway. Do you have a connection with watercress soup? Watercress soup. The Akiway? The Akiway. watercress you know do you guys remember when like they would have so much watercress at dimes that was just i remember where everybody like i just remember that is that a really cheap is that

50:00Zoe Dubno:like a really cheap ingredient i don't know but it was just i discovered watercress from dimes i just was like wow watercress this is like it must be 10 years ago because most people most most people go to dimes and discover that they're non-binary but you discovered i discovered the I go there and I discover, wow, tofu cost$38.

50:19Jason Stewart:I didn't know that.

50:21Zoe Dubno:How is this salmon more expensive than Balthazar? Anybody got the answers?

50:25Jason Stewart:I'm glad that Dimes is still open and thriving in 2025.

50:29Zoe Dubno:Every time I go there, I'm like, this is exactly what I want to eat. And then I don't go for six months.

50:34Jason Stewart:Have you guys been to that restaurant near there called Food? No.

50:38Zoe Dubno:No. It's like food with like five O's? I'm not going to his restaurant. You're familiar with the history of that, though.

50:43Jason Stewart:I don't know. It's next door to Time Again. Oh, that guy. Yes, I know. What's his face? The painter, man.

50:51Zoe Dubno:Lucian, but it's famous. It's like something that existed in the 80s. Yes, I know. And he has brought it back.

50:57Jason Stewart:I'm seeing some of the photos. I've heard only bad things, but I'm seeing photos of the food. And I hate to admit, the food looks like it's of interest to me. Like what they're serving. It's just very regular food. but the way that it's being plated and presented is in a, is in it. It's like so plain that it's new and novel. There was like a beautiful steak with onion rings on it. It was just like a steak with a side of onion rings and it just looked good. You know, there's no bullshit. Okay.

51:27Zoe Dubno:I was hoping you were going to say it was presented like a Krishna nourishing meal for the body,

51:31Jason Stewart:but you're saying everything is just very plain, but in a refreshing way, if that makes sense.

51:35Zoe Dubno:I love it because it was open for one week before New York magazine wrote like a takedown on it. I'm like, let me like relax, guys let this motherfucker try at least because the idea is really interesting and the history is really interesting i think it's really hard to run a restaurant if you've never done it before if that's like oh i'm just gonna i'll figure it out is a crazy thing you do have to get permits

51:54Jason Stewart:and you do have to tell the city that your business is is happening and you do have to

51:58Zoe Dubno:i also credit card payments i also think and don't quote me on this but i think you have to pay the employees or sometimes they get upset as well yeah sometimes were they not i think there was a litany of issues but it's still open so i mean i guess it's not that bad because i feel like it'd be closed i didn't know i kept it open i didn't realize where that was no zoron's but you know zoron's eating mr chow every night high on the hog rich rich motherfucker your usual table mr i loved i loved that when they were mean to him about going to omen i was like yeah it was amazing he is my president like i live in a rent stabilized department zoron lives in a rent stabilized apartment i shouldn't be eating at omen but i do anyway like yes that is what it is if i if nothing else i want a mayor who is down to pay 40 for an avocado salad just like me that's when i finally see myself in governance it's worth it it's also like sorry he gets a little treat like not all like is that so bad to have a delicious treat when you it's you know what he's probably not door dashing spending like 60 for no reason on like some stupid bullshit the way that people who get door dash for dinner like tech you know my brother works in tech so i see the lifestyle i love that guy but i'm like okay you guys are like getting like like my brother actually recently was like to me like did you know that if i didn't do door dash like every day like it's like cooking at home it like saves you so much money like are you fucking so stupid

53:30Jason Stewart:did you know that the same 35 i spend to have a guy bring a bagel to me on a bicycle can buy

53:37Zoe Dubno:groceries for like a serial brothers freaking day genius too i'm sure he's very smart and it's just so smart and he's a really good cook too but like the only time he cooks is when he's like doing a giant project of like like oh i'm gonna make like lasagna where i've made the like pasta from scratch and the thing and the thing and so he he factors in the opportunity cost of cooking that's

53:59Jason Stewart:time he could be making money so it's a fool's area exactly how i feel jason that's exactly i might as well i'll just take the money i've made and give it to an ugly person to bring the food to me does he have a chick up there with him in his rent stabilized apartment he does he does he

54:13Zoe Dubno:does he's got a wife and wifey is down with the door dash lifestyle well they're both working tech they don't got time for this they're dinks they're dinks so they are both just like dinking it up

54:25Jason Stewart:up there i think we need it we need a new word for dinks in tech that needs to be a little more derogatory we need to yeah there needs to be some additional letters dink dink t's added to the yeah dink t's that's when that's when you tell your husband that you actually don't want to have kids but you secretly do no we're gonna have dual income no kids and then as soon as you put the ring on? Fucking dink tease. She wants a kid now. The fuck?

54:54Zoe Dubno:I thought we talked about this.

54:56Jason Stewart:My bros warned me it was going to happen, but I didn't think so. Fucking dink tease.

55:00Zoe Dubno:I knew your stock was going to vest, bitch.

55:02Jason Stewart:Like, I knew it. Spend all my boat money on fucking diapers.

55:11Zoe Dubno:So do your parents, who do you think your parents like more, you or your brother? Oh my god. Well, I can't say. Because you're accomplished. Because I'm saying you're accomplished in your own way. He might be a little more accomplished monetarily is my guess. He is. Well, you know, when I sold my book, my brother is such a bitch. My brother was like, oh, my God, you went from starving artist to lower middle class artist.

55:37Jason Stewart:Can we get your brother on the podcast? Yeah, your brother. You're cool. You're great. Actually, you guys should really help my brother. Equinox does he go to? No. You guys should help my brother because he wears skinny pants. He wears skinny pants and he wears, he refuses to wear jeans that are hard. He wears basically a jegging, like a jegging quality.

55:58Zoe Dubno:He wears the rag and bone sweat pant jeans. He wears, he has a pair of those. And he wears exclusively Adriano Goldschmieds that his wife, who is a maximista, gets him. What the fuck is Adriano Goldschmieds? You don't know AG? All right, so your brother is stacking cash upstairs. No, I'm a straight guy. he's wearing the skinny ag's like he got him from the denim wall oh just ag denim okay he really judges me when i spend money on clothes he spends his money on like ridiculous stuff like technology items like he does he have the apple vision pro goggles no he's not stupid he got like a sick ass 3d printer dude he has a 3d printer he does have one but also it's stuff like like he realized that he could figure out how to give me his internet like and i was like i don't care it's fine you don't need to but he spent basically like hundreds of dollars and like an entire weekend like running cable and like drilling holes through like the walls to like give me he was like i can't believe that you don't have bios it's ridiculous like i can't believe you're like paying for spectrum and he's like like that's how he spends his money like doing his little tasks like he He loves that.

57:09Zoe Dubno:It's really cool to tell your little sister, I cannot believe you don't have Fios. I'm his older sister. I'm his older sister. That's why it's okay. You're saying this, because you're young, so you're saying this motherfucker is what, 28? Yeah. Damn, he's 28. He might even be 29 now. I think he's 29. And he's married? He's already married? Yeah. The tech, all of his friends are married. And I'm like, we're from New York. What's wrong with you? And he's like, no, all my friends. How did he turn out so Mormon? growing up in manhattan i know i know did he did he go to rehab when he was 14 or something he's like he's like the like never misbehaving he's like a true okay so the answer to my earlier question is him then as far as who your parents like more well my parents relate more to me sure but they like probably like he's a more easily likable individual i think whoever has a kid first is who's gonna win this race that's true that is true that's probably my parents are like so they want grandchildren so badly that they've started they live on the abroad side and they've started just like babysitting random children in our building like they literally will just be like oh yeah i'm like my i'll like call my mom and i'm like what's up you're like oh i'm picking up the girl from three uh from the grocery from the from school you know my kids

58:27Jason Stewart:won't have well they won't give me grandkids so i've been forced to child traffic in my local area I'm like, you guys sound creepy. My dad is like, look at all the nice coloring pages I printed out for the little kids in the building. I'm like, I don't know. One of you guys is going to have to shit a kid out before your parents go to jail.

58:47Zoe Dubno:It's not an if, it's a when. They're waiting for the knock to come. It could happen. That's fucking hilarious. What goes on? Did you grow up on the Upper West Side? I'm always fascinated. I haven't spent much time on the Upper West. I feel like I'm more of an Upper East girl. Oh my God, you got to. The Upper West Side is terrible, but it's the best place ever. It's a small... It's kind of like I'm trapped here because I have my rent stabilized apartment. I don't think that I would live here otherwise, but it's so lovely. I mean... Do you ever run into someone you know? Are you kidding? Today, I was at the Equinox on the Upper West Side, and I was doing that thing where you walk up on the treadmill uphill.

59:29Jason Stewart:12, 3.30. We talk about it every fucking day on this podcast somehow. Yeah. That's what I do. People know about that?

59:35Zoe Dubno:Of course. You think you're the only one that uses Instagram and looks at big butts? I don't get it off Instagram. I Googled what should I do if I hate running. Like I literally AI told me to do that.

59:44Jason Stewart:Wait, other people know about the treadmill at the gym? You're telling me that other people walk? That's crazy, dude. I Googled it because I only do yoga. Like I only do yoga. And then I was like, oh, I'm like dying of like heart disease or something. So I need to like incorporate. but i can't run your cardio is shit i can't run i just can't i seriously can't do it so i googled how to do treadmill if you can't run and then it told me to do that so anyway while i was doing that next to me on the like two away from me on the treadmill was a girl i went to middle middle school with coming out of the bar class was a boy for my high school mom who i have his salad dressing recipe and the um also there's a girl from my synagogue like my childhood synagogue all on this like even explore and i was like god damn it's like this is why i go at noon usually you

1:00:34Zoe Dubno:guys are in my let me ask you let me ask you let me ask you a follow-up question who looked the best you can say yourself okay well yeah me or or the mom the mom was snatched you know what i mean like the mom was snatched but but besides that me mom didn't have the new outdoor voices set on though right yeah what kind of that's all you are you wearing your aloe mesh hat or you keep it low key do we like outdoor voices again i know they re-came out with a thing but is it good no no okay okay i didn't think so but i got they re-came out with a thing no re-came out everything has felt so topsy-turvy now for me like i feel like i used to know what like being like a health conscious like medium anorexic like insane person was all about but then we got rfk and then like all of the like maga healthy people are like fucking up everything because i'm like is it what is healthy now like what is it to be like no we're doing look we're doing a good job the maga healthy people like we've sort of we've oh that's you why i don't

1:01:35Jason Stewart:well they just they just announced their new like food triangle the pyramid what's on it celsius no no it's it's like it looks like a sweet green menu like it's it's like millennial designs like nice typography it looks like a cool website yeah and grains are at the bottom and then you know meat dairy blah blah blah and at the very top vegetables and produce so it's it's a correct food no at the very top is meat oh sorry meat is at the top and then vegetables are below it because that's when i was like oh fuck you come on it can't really be true that that's what we're supposed to be doing obviously but i feel very vindicated because mark hyman who i actually think is like crazy but also i make his recipes all the time mark hyman came out with a sweet green menu and my boyfriend like forwarded it to me and was like oh my god like this is that's the salad i customize you okay you and hyman are connected celestially who i saw that today because we were talking the intro um they got huberman over at goop doing a salad yeah and And then this guy Hyman has a salad at sweet green.

1:02:43Jason Stewart:Who, who is Mark Hyman and why is he your salad goat? I prefer Hyman to Huberman. Cause Huberman is like, like Hyman is like kind of weird also. And he will literally be like, mental illness is just about your diet. Like, like cancer, that's your diet. And you're like, okay, bro, like take a pause for a second. But he's Gwyneth Poulter's actual doctor. And he has that thing function, which I also think is just like crazy. Like I'm not doing that, but he has all these recipes that are like oh here's how to have like a soup it's like good like you know if if i don't know i go to his website and i'll like look and i'll be like okay great that's like how if i want to be healthy hyman steers you in the right direction usually yeah yeah you're saying he's a you're saying hyman is a medical doctor he is he is a medical doctor he is goopy doctor he is the goopy doctor i am the goopy doctor not a bad position to be in But he's insane.

1:03:36Zoe Dubno:Is Huberman a doctor, Jason, or is he just a football player?

1:03:39Jason Stewart:He's no. He's neither. He's like a professor at Stanford. He's like a scientist. I swear to God. Yeah, but not in medicine. Yeah. Not in medicine. I don't know. I mean, in neuroscience and health and shit.

1:03:54Zoe Dubno:I used to have respect for universities. And then when Scott Galloway and Andrew Huberman are professors, I start to wonder what we're putting our kids through. Well, but Stanford is crazy. You know what book you should read if you haven't read it already? The book Palo Alto by Malcolm Harris. Do you know about that book? It's a history of Palo Alto from the founding of San Francisco to now. And Stanford is really the center of all of this eugenesis. They're the problem over at Stanford. Yeah. Yeah, no, like, yeah. Like, they used to have to, when you would apply to Stanford, you'd have to include a picture and your height.

1:04:35And they would, like, let you in based on hot. And they would, like, pick hot women for, like, to, like, read with that. I don't see a problem with that.

1:04:40Jason Stewart:And when you say hot, you mean race, of course, right? Yes, race, too. Race, too. But it was like, that's a beautiful six-foot-tall woman. Like, we're getting her.

1:04:48Zoe Dubno:Look, I think Stanford is, if nothing else, a more expensive nightclub. I don't really see the difference between the sort of door policies at these places.

1:04:57Jason Stewart:Yeah, Stanford, the whole Silicon Valley thing is like move fast and break things. And then the things that you should break are people of color and uglies and fatties. Yeah, you don't want to. It's sort of what they're. Oh, my God.

1:05:09Zoe Dubno:I don't even know. But I can't think. I'm trying to think of all the guys at my gym that wear the different collegiate logo dry fits. And the Stanfords are leaning a little too nerdy for my taste. They're good looking generally. But they're not like the Dartmouth guy, you know? Oh, really?

1:05:23Jason Stewart:They're looking like people who got 3D printers. No offense to.

1:05:25Zoe Dubno:Yeah, it's like guys who are good looking, but they turn the nerd up 30 % more than they should have. Wow. I guess it's just been over the past, I don't know, 20 years they've stopped being like that or something. They probably, yes.

1:05:38Jason Stewart:I think that's every Ivy League school now, right?

1:05:40Zoe Dubno:Well, yeah, it's just nerds now. I think it was always a healthy dose of nerds. I know, but I feel like there was a lot more blue blood legacy students. We want some more jocks. Just some regular, good old... No, I don't like jocks.

1:05:54Jason Stewart:You don't want jocks? It's just a bunch of like virgin violin players who have like a 7.0. And you're like, okay, this is actually my boyfriend is a job. I guess more. So we need more. We need more middle-class college students, not just, and I don't mean that by money. I mean that just by ability and skill.

1:06:11Zoe Dubno:What is your, what, what sport does your boyfriend play? Archery doesn't count. He's going to be so mad at me for like saying this on whatever, but he, he played water polo at Oxford. Okay. All right. That's not that. Okay. So. Multipolo. Now, I will say I'm hard, but I don't. That is not. That's not like I played soccer.

1:06:34Jason Stewart:Does he have a photo of himself in a Speedo on his Instagram grid? Oh, my God. He has. No, he doesn't. But I have his Oxford Speedo. And it's so tiny. Like, it's, like, so tiny. And because the water polo Speedos, they, like, you know, when they play water polo, they're all trying to rip each other's undies off. Yeah. Yeah. And so they're, like, super tight so they don't fall off. and it's so funny.

1:06:55Zoe Dubno:I've never seen that on He Did Rivalry,

1:06:57Jason Stewart:but I've heard about stuff like that. They should have that. You hold his Speedo up to yours and it's like maybe his might be a little smaller. It's so small. It looks like it's for a little boy. A fucking little bitch. Yeah.

1:07:08Zoe Dubno:Wow. Okay, so is he still broad and shit or is he chilled out now that he's just reading books all the time? He is chilled out. Now he just plays squash like an old man. He's like always playing squash. You should introduce him to some sports that you don't have to be rich to play. There's all kinds of sports on there. Water polo and squash. I know. I'm just jealous, Zoe. I'm just jealous. I like that. British people, you don't understand their infrastructure of sports that they have there for cheap. It's different. It's different. They have these leisure centers where it's like$10 membership with squash courts and pool, sauna thing.

1:07:41I'm like, what?

1:07:42Zoe Dubno:Yeah, but they don't look great, so they're not lifting weights. No, they look all right. No, no, no. I thought you meant the leisure center. I was like, no. No, the leisure centers do look great. The people, I'm saying. I'm like, what are these guys doing? They're boozing too much. I know. They really are.

1:07:54Jason Stewart:I wanted to ask, you mentioned taking improv classes at some point in your life. Oh, my God. When did I allow that to be publicly known?

1:08:02Zoe Dubno:Big mistake.

1:08:03Jason Stewart:Taking those classes may have aided you in the writing process. And Chris is in the middle of doing some writing right now. Do you think he could benefit from some improv classes? And how did that help you out? I think that the pyramid scheme, which was UCB, has folded, though. So I don't know that they're still doing the improv class model that they used to do. Right, right, right. I loved it.

1:08:25Zoe Dubno:What was the model? I, when I was in high school, took improv classes at UCB. And they basically had the students who were really good could perform for free. They could audition and perform for free on the stages. And then if they were really good, they could perform for free on different stages. and then the best ones of the performers could be the teachers of the people. And it was like, how is this? I don't understand how this is making any money. So I think some of the performers would eventually get paid, but it was mostly free performances. But I have to say, it was amazingly fun. It's so much fun to do.

1:09:07I haven't done improv in like...

1:09:08Zoe Dubno:But why is it also the dorkiest thing on planet Earth? So that's the problem. That's the problem. If cool people did it, it would be the best thing ever. But unfortunately, so many people that do it are huge dorks. And then you're like, well, I don't have anything to relate with you on.

1:09:22Jason Stewart:Well, I think it's because cool people already possess those skills naturally. No, but when cool people do improv, it's actually amazingly funny. Do you know there are these two guys, Aaron Jackson and Josh Sharp. They're kind of around gay guy comedians. They're kind of in the Bowen Yianosphere. But they are cool gay dudes and they do improv and they're so funny. like and and there were a bunch of there were a bunch of people that did improv that were so funny i really like doing it i kind of miss doing it but it's also too embarrassing and i hate i hate performing i like don't like performing on a stage i like get a stress blackout you know

1:10:00Zoe Dubno:okay but so fun but so fun i loved every minute of it that i remember no the classes no the classes and practicing because you just feel like with your friends like do doing this thing where you we're all paying a lot of attention to each other and making these. It's basically what we're doing now, but you have to remember things and call things back and do like it. It's fun. I don't know, Chris, you should do it. I don't know how you would do it though, but you'd find it. I can't do that. I can't do anything. Unfortunately, I'm in a prison of my own making in my class. When I was a 17 year old was, do you know the Kanye producer, Mike Dean?

1:10:37Zoe Dubno:Of course the goat. Of course. Mike Dean's girlfriend, who was this like hot, like, like super blonde, like, was she also 17? No, she, she was not that much older than me, but she was, she was amazing looking. And then like, we became friends and that was so fun for me. The 17 year old, like growing up in New York, who, were you smoking weed with Mike Dean? No, not with Mike Dean, but I was like going for drinks with her with my fake ID. Like it, which was, which was fun. Cause even growing up in New York, like New York can be a very parochial place for, especially when people grow up there. Cause basically everyone that I grew up with works in finance or as a lawyer, they're like the people that aren't, but it was nice to just be like, you know, you could go out dancing with a fake ID or like go to Williamsburg and like see indie bands.

1:11:26But like, you didn't get to really like branch out in that way. Sure.

1:11:31Zoe Dubno:You're going to have a cocktail at a, at a nice place. Let's say you're not going to, yeah, that's different. That is different. Yeah. god i love mike dean so much i forgot about him one of my favorites yeah cool guy have you seen how he dresses now does he dress does he dress different than he used to he just looks stupider and stupider like he just he like switches up how stupid he looks depending on like who he's working with in this way that's like admirable because he's just like i don't know man i'm with travis scott i'm gonna look like travis scott it's like bro you're a 55 year old white guy you can't look like travis scott i think the amount of weed he smokes yeah he smoked himself

1:12:06Jason Stewart:he smoked himself he smoked he smokes too much weed and the the money that he's making is coming from people that look like travis scott and hang out with him so yeah just by osmosis he's gonna look no choice no choice but he is still our god we love him you live in la yeah yeah in la you get to see like every time i go to la i'm like this really is where the craziest people like looks wise are like you don't get to see the kind of like wherever plastic surgery will be in the next like 10 years in new york it will trickle over to here and like the crazy stuff i love that i i love

1:12:45Zoe Dubno:that i love it it's a different kind of crazy i i would say i like it too but it's you're right it's more of a plastic surgery brand crazy than it is like uh i dress crazy because i'm trying to express myself because i just got here off the bus from des moines you know what i mean it's like

1:13:04Jason Stewart:yes yeah you guys have dressing over there we have but i think nowadays in 2026 plastic surgery no longer really is like location based anymore we were talking about this yesterday with with erin levine about you know things are no longer like that is la that is new york right plastic surgery happens more in korea and turkey and other you know like right everywhere in the world you go to small suburbs and there's botox places on every corner and right everyone's doing it everywhere you know i know i saw just like just like glp once would you know did no get what some more lip filler just while i was at the gym they had the the tvs on and i saw kirstie no i'm obviously being like a total you know ghoul and i was like she looks like anybody on instagram that's so crazy that's just crazy that we can have like a terrible baddie like who is like like you know what i mean it's like this is just like she should be a mormon mom influencer that i'm seeing on reels being like you know this is how i clean up after my but instead she's being like it's good that i shot that lady like like it's i'm like how is this person in charge of anything oh that that is actually you

1:14:17Zoe Dubno:that is a good, I think what Trump will be remembered for most is ushering in the terrible baddie to the White House and giving birth to a whole new kind of chick that did not exist before.

1:14:30Jason Stewart:Ghoul

1:14:31Zoe Dubno:is a fun word for that.

1:14:32Jason Stewart:Terrible baddie is real. Okay, last question Zoe, how many times do you say the phrase, the Bowery in your book? Did you count? No. Like, should I do Price is Right style of guess? I know, unfortunately I don't have the answer, but if you can give me the pdf i think it's it's definitely more than that you think more 75 i don't know what the answer is 75 sounds about right though don't you just love the bowery as long as you're under a

1:14:57Zoe Dubno:the bowery is such a funny new york has such funny things like that where it's like why why does it get that distinction i mean obviously it's a historic street i you know blah blah blah but there's certain i'm trying to think of other versions broadway there's other things like that

1:15:10Jason Stewart:like when people say on long island versus in long island yeah yeah on long island or yeah That's a good example, Jason. We say I'm waiting online.

1:15:19Zoe Dubno:Online or in line, yeah. I don't say that. That's unbelievably stupid to me. It makes me crazy. I'm in a line. I'm not on it. Fuck out of here. Yeah. Welcome to New York. Sorry, you know. Houston Street is called Houston. It's all fucked up. But you know the Bowery, how it used to be spelled like B-O-U-W-E-R-I-E? I think it was B-O-U-W-E-R-I-E. I didn't know that. That's so cute. It is very cute. Isn't that what, like, like a smitten kitchen of the Bowery?

1:15:52Jason Stewart:Not smitten kitchen.

1:15:54Zoe Dubno:There's definitely, there's definitely something in New York or has been something in the last decade that spelled it that way and closed. Yeah. Because the spelling, the spelling did not work for the patrons. Yeah. That's my guess. Someone had a big hat

1:16:06Jason Stewart:running in the Bowery. The guy who started the meatball shop opened it up. He has a big hat. Bro, do you mind what I get from the meatball shop guy

1:16:14Zoe Dubno:for all his new ventures? Do you know about the meatball shop guy? First of all, of course I do, because the meatball shop, honestly, those are kind of good.

1:16:21Jason Stewart:Banging. Yeah. Banging. And as a Mark Hyman. 2008 up in this bitch. As a Mark Hyman, like, true lover, like, you could get meatballs on lettuce. And that was pretty new then. Like, you could not. Yeah, that was, no, that for sure. For me, that was huge as, like, a teenage girl. Meatballs on lettuce. Oh, that was keto before we had keto.

1:16:41Zoe Dubno:As a primal kitchen girly flirting with Evie. on lettuce get in my belly.

1:16:47Jason Stewart:I don't have to go to Subway anymore. This is cool. Subway? Alright, Zoe. Let me get a meatball salad. No dressing on the side. No dressing.

1:16:57Zoe Dubno:Zoe, thank you for joining us on How I'm Gone. It's a pleasure. The book is everywhere you get books, I assume. Happiness and love, not love and happiness. I'm glad that you guys remember to say it the right direction. I honestly thought about happiness and love, my brother. I thought about that. I was like, I bet 90 % of people get this wrong. It's just It's always funny when it's on a thing where they're interviewing me and then I have to be like, okay. Sorry. You're like, you know it's written behind our heads correctly. Just glowing. You're so close. So close. No, the words are right. The words are right.

1:17:30Zoe Dubno:It's the order that you're having a problem with. Thank you. Good to see you. Thank you. Thank you. We'll see you soon. Okay. Okay. Later. Bye-bye. Peace.

1:17:44Zoe Dubno:separate something. Na, na, na, na, na, na, a girl like you. Do you think is it normal to go through life oh so formal? Na, na, na, na, na, a girl like you.

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