897. - Chris & Jason

23:39Also, I can't stay in the house for 48 hours. I'm going to fucking kill myself. I have to like, I can't.

23:43Jason Stewart:Got to go outside. Got to go fast. Got to go fast. Yeah, I can't batten down the hatches like that. It just doesn't work for me. I need to touch the streets. Good. I mean, I wish if more people were like you, we wouldn't be in such a hellscape right now because I worry that people, you know, like in the same way that COVID, you know, as long as you didn't die, it was like kind of a sweet deal. Yeah. If you're fortunate enough, it's basically just hitting a reset button on you. And it's just like, instead of thinking about what to do, you're just going to do this. And there's some comfort and peace in that.

24:14Jason Stewart:And I think a lot of people are almost excited to sort of see how little they can tip their DoorDash driver while he fucking sleds down a mountain to bring you your Domino's breadsticks with extra ranch or whatever. I would love a Domino's breadstick right now. Don't bring that up. But, you know, DoorDash should protest or something like that. Or there should be some type of, like, up-sale deal, like when it's, like, really busy or raining or whatever. Uber. You know, oh, now the airport home costs$4.79. What if DoorDash was like, you want this McDonald's breakfast that bad? It's going to run you$150.

24:55Jason Stewart:I'll bring it to you right now. They should definitely. Because there's going to be a rich motherfucker in Manhattan or thousands of them who will be like, yeah, just pay it. I don't care. just pay it because then you would be like this is good this is difficult as fuck and i feel like 150 is fair yeah i think that i think that's a great idea honestly i really i really do think that the hardest working people in new york even though it's a corrupt business that's ruining restaurants they should at least be uh compensated properly it's not their fault they're not you know these guys are just like working hard they deserve the one and then they're running out of jobs that AI won't take or robots won't take and for now the drones have a tough time during snowpocalypse right?

25:36Yeah they're not going to be able to get your little frankies here on time you know what I mean? That broccoli is going to be cold chief you know have I told you have we talked about Lenwich the best restaurant in New York?

25:47Jason Stewart:I have talked about Lenwich I think Susan Alexander is like a big Lenwich a Lenny head? Yeah she's a Lenny I let myself have a Lenny on the weekends and get a little bag of chips with it so and but but today i did i did tip 25 on that you know what i mean you can't let these guys even though it feels like uh like like masturbation slang for something you know like dude if it is then like when you do like that's when i use like uh hot mustard dude instead of coconut oil lenny lenny is the best myself a right hand is like a switch backside lenny what's walk me through your lenny order the backyard bowls is the restaurant best restaurant in la lenny's the best restaurant in new york okay so we have michelin star west coast michelin start use goes all right i pulled it up chris said don't talk to me until i have my lenny okay so the lenny or it's the veggie witch which stock if you're getting it standard right off the lot it's avocados green leaf lettuce tomato carrot cucumber alfalfa sprouts shredded red cabbage sweet peppers and honey mustard i obviously am not gonna have uh the peppers that's disgusting um i'll lose i'll lose the peppers what are we in philadelphia get out of here right i get a seven grain bread.

26:57I add provolone. I toast the bread. I add some hummus. And on the weekends, if I allow myself one to two Lenny's per week, if it's during the week, no chips. On the weekend, we're getting a plain bag. Do you know what I mean? You guys think you're getting into a bag on the weekends? Let me tell you something. I'm getting to a fucking bag on the weekend myself.

27:20Jason Stewart:Okay, so you said you'll treat yourself to a Lenny once a week, but then you just snuck in maybe once, twice a week. Well, it depends on that. What's going on over here, buddy? I can't allow you to have more than one Lenny a week. It just depends on busyness during the day. Because normally I'm able to craft my own scrambled eggs to get that protein, but if I'm running too tight, sometimes Lenny's the only answer. Yeah, Lenny's the only answer. because I'm in a food desert these days. I'm not surrounded by fast, casual. Can't you just go get a nice broth, like a nice mushroom broth or something like that and hold you over?

28:00I mean, I could, I guess, in theory. Funny, the door rang today, Jason, while I was trying to get rid of my fucking giant package, and it was a nice, healthy order from Brodo, but it didn't include any vegetarian options.

28:14Jason Stewart:Oh, okay. I know what you mean. the abroto is good at meat and animal broths i i don't think i also don't think broth if it's not if it doesn't have the collagen from the animal i feel like it's kind of it's hot water damn i agree with you for sure but like shit like it's just pointless sort of like just just have tea well i've been drinking this this tea as well every night before bed I need to know is it digestive tea is it a girl's name oh yeah Dr. Nastasia Stolberg right hold on I'll find it she's doing wheat pasting campaigns right now she's a hot lesbian yeah Dr. Stolberg the rest and digest tea a daily soothing streamlined formula to support digestion and eliminate bloat does it have like a the teabag as like a yellow box or a yellow yeah it's a really nice the design's really good actually no no Carolyn got sent a box of that and oh yeah to me it smells like cilantro no jade it's it's it smells horrible but it works i feel honestly i feel really good i think it i think of all the things that i've spent 40 on you know what i mean i i think that this would be in the realm of of oh you paid for it honey uh well i bought three boxes after the after i tried one i was like you know what this works okay this works okay so so you and you you're feeling digested rested and digested it really does i also think that there is sort of a mental game that is like you start a new habit of this tea instead of reaching for the cookies you know i don't think obviously it's not going to replace it because it doesn't taste good but it is sort of like a as kind of a habit guy i sure like the stuff actually actually works this is your dessert vape we'll call it yeah yeah this is my macho vape lily allen it's not a it's not a perfect ab comp replacement but well i hate tea i hate tea because it's too hot but at night before bed when there's no reason not to the dessert avoidance part of it is almost more appealing anything else but we took it upstate with i'm gonna take it on the road with me get a cup of hot water you took the good doctor with you upstate we took the good doctor with us upstate it's real it's real okay that's exciting that's exciting i'm happy for you it does taste funny but i'm also glad that it's you know what i mean if it didn't taste funny would it feel like it worked you know of course of course if it's too delicious you say what's wrong with this i i think i don't mind the taste of it but for some reason the smell of it is just like straight up cilantro broth which i guess is good and you know i'm the smell of things affect the digestion i think like when you see the cartoon and the waves are coming from the pie that's cooling on the window so they go in the nostril and you float over there.

31:08Jason Stewart:I think that has a similar effect on that. Sometimes you just need to smell the espresso and then off you go. I perk the fuck up with one little smell of a delicious espresso. Just a wee bump. You were talking about our friend of the show Joe Budden talking about Jacob Elordi, star of Woldering Heights. And I wanted to ask you, how does wordsmith, rapper, Joe Budden pronounce Jacob Elordi's name? He just can't say it. He's reading off the Oscar nominations. So does he not even attempt? Jacob Elordi. And then White Boy Parks has to step in. Because it's really interesting. They're talking about all the...

31:53Of course, they're excited about Sinners. Sinners is so good. Sinners is amazing. sinners better win every award or it's you know white people are against us and then they can't

32:02Jason Stewart:pronounce like half the other actors names but also to be fair there is a lot of tough foreign nominees you know no no no no of course no no but i i think what's the most interesting is is that they didn't know what marty supreme was and they what oh the only person no seriously and the only person who has seen it is parks and the and and like they did not really know what it was before and and these are people who live and spend time in and around new york city which seem to be the epicenter of marty's supreme dumb yes but the way they talk about they act like listening to like the new re linux album is their job right and the same way that like i need to see these movies to talk about it which i mean obviously we're sort of in the same boat but there's nothing you can do to get me to listen to an Ari Lennox album.

32:50Jason Stewart:So they're so in their Jill Scott silo that they're unable to notice the biggest cultural moment of the last three months. It was honestly kind of surprising because I'm just like, I don't... These people go to the movie theater. If you're that kind of person, and that means you're paying attention more than 90 % of people. I mean, this is why Timmy went on Drewski. so these people are abreast of his goings-on in the cinema. People who would, yeah. Anybody who wouldn't normally, I mean, I think he tried to spread as much as he could. Damn, bro. I know, I know. It was crazy. He tried. But Jacob Elordi, I mean, Jacob Elordi, I mean, I don't think he'll win anything for that.

33:33I'd be shocked if he won something for that movie.

33:35Jason Stewart:No, I don't think so, but there's a lot of action on Twitter I've seen about there, like her talking about. her saying that she basically I think everyone in the world had to google is Margot Robbie married and she's been married for a number of years and has kids I think with her husband it's the classic case of like an A list you know 9 of 10 actress with a fucking quote unquote producer guy who's like pretty good looking just like a guy we would know you know what I mean it's the homie who figured it out but then you think you got it all figured out and then here come jacob alordi and she starts talking about how he like set up flowers on her bed on valentine's day while they were filming and like got my quince on but it looks like laura all right this episode of how i'm gone is brought to you by our dear friends at quince jason i've you know i've looked in your closet you've looked in mine and we can both agree that a thoughtfully built wardrobe comes down to pieces that mix well and last and that's where quince shines premium fabrics considered design and everyday essentials that feel effortless to wear and dependable even as the seasons change jason yeah quince practical clothing that looks good and it works well one thing i like about you go on you go on the quince you're browsing your mongolian cashmere's your lightweights your heavyweights your european jersey linens and the colors that they come in are just regular colors that you would all want you know so many times you see an amazing garment that you want but the color is either just you know not something that you would work with as in your personality type or just straight up ugly as hell and it ruins the garment and quince says no we're going to do it in right normal colors you can pair this with that and it all works together leave the guesswork out of it and if you want to go bold you know pair it with another designer brand and it fits right in doesn't it go bold uh right now Go to quince.com for free shipping and 365-day returns.

35:40That's a full year to build your wardrobe and love it, and you will. Now available in Canada, too. Don't sleep. Settling for clothes that don't last. Go to quince.com for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com. Now at the Home Depot. Receive 12-month special financing and free basic installation on carpet projects with LifeProof. LifeProof with PetProof technology. home decorators collection, and traffic master carpets. Bring a new look to your floors, or give them a durable surface that stands up to life's tough messes. Get 12-month special financing on installed carpet projects right now at The Home Depot.

36:18Offer valid March 12th through March 29th, 2026. Exclusions and additional charges may apply. For licenses, see homedepot.com slash license numbers. She said that she became extremely dependent on him. You know what it is? is they're trying to sell a movie the way that like when Liam Neeson and Pamela Anderson were dating for a month. You know, it's that. It's a similar kind of thing.

36:44Jason Stewart:Wait, what happened with them? Are they on the outs? Are they done? Or was that really just a fully fabricated for a month thing? I think it lasted during the press tour. Maybe it was real, but it was like, it was because it was a beautiful thing. Yeah. They had a nice cry and off they go. Okay. Damn. Yeah. I totally forgot about that. But yeah, to me it is giving because she has to know she's not an idiot she has to know how this stuff sounds going out into the real world i mean i think actors are playing into it i think actors literally live on a different planet than we do especially at that level and they might literally think this is okay to say yeah i guess so no one's gonna stop them because it helps the fucking you know no one's gonna stop them it helps it's got our crack asses talking about it yeah exactly but i mean like i'm i'm in the movie theater watching you know marty or whatever it is with carolyn and the withering heights trailer comes on tv every woman in the theater you can just hear them like like moaning to themselves like it is they're doing such a good job at horny maxing the trailers for this that like it has like a magic mic feel to it like all the girls just have to go and goon at this movie like yeah i don't care you know it's the same vibe as like a drunk 50 year old like trying to fuck somber at a party or something like that wait isn't this is it wait is this for worthing heights or is this for is this for frankenstein um i think a lord well a lordy is i don't know frankenstein is nominated for some oscar stuff but the the current margot robbie and him thing i think is withering heights yes and they just did like a vogue australia shoot yeah where they're no i think that was in l but yes regardless yeah somebody said that everything now is sexual but not sexy and i thought that sort of like summed up what the vibe of that is because it's just like two very hot people laying in bed together but like you know that they're in relationships and they're not doing it like it just feels it's it's like when you're watching a the the love scene on on top gun two and you're just like this is they're doing a sexual act wait who is that but who is that between is that between tom cruise and glenn powell or is that between a man and a woman uh it's between a man and a woman but it's just like it's just so oddly done in a way of like you have to be you have to watch this film with your parents or you have to watch this oh sure with your children so we gotta so like it's going to happen and we're gonna know but there's gonna be you know, like true sexiness or horniness that, you know, people crave in cinema.

39:20You know what I'm missing this weekend as the temperatures drop is the moment puffer. I don't know if you've been paying attention to what's going on over at Park. The McDonald's logo. Yeah, in Sundance. The fact that I don't have a moment McDonald's logo puffer for these dropping temps is, I mean, I can barely walk through Soho with my head above water.

39:41Jason Stewart:Well, I'm sure there's a Canadian bootleg site that makes TBPN jerseys that is making a McDonald's puffer right now. And we can go on there and buy one. We're going to see Charlie next weekend for the Grammys. I'm going to see the movie on Monday. I'm going to see it on Monday. Okay, flex. So I'm trying to prepare myself to live in the metaverse, if you will. Okay, so this is sort of following in the footsteps of the Marty Supreme, where this movie has its jacket, and now The Moment has their jacket, and the Marty Supreme was sort of polo sport, Supreme, windbreaker, Nike, 2002 era, whatever. The Moment is the McDonald's logo, and then like a Marlboro Mercedes.

40:33Jason Stewart:There's several logos. Yeah, yeah, that kind of thing. So what movie is going to have the next jacket? How many more jackets are going to exist before we have to change it and now it becomes the sweat pant or the hunter boot or the Kangol cap? It's going to be a seasonal item. First of all, no one can wear a Kangol except friend of the show, Jack Harlow, the Kangol goat. I saw a tweet that said he's in his common bee era right now. Yeah, he is. And he can do it. he pulls it off just like uh white folks you know jack harlow shows up dressed like common in a fucking buttery velour mock neck every girl is just like yep down yep i'll throw it all the way i i hope my hope is the moment jacket is not for sale and then it can never be for sale but depending on depending on season watch i think i think we'll just go back to a t-shirt you know because what are you going to do in the middle of july you can't be selling a jacket well we're gonna we're gonna have to innovate because now that we have we've been in the hat and t-shirt and tote bag for years if not decades now and now we have to do a return to you know we've done the the the one of one you know cut and sew jacket for marty we can't come back from that and go straight into t-shirt tote bag trucker hey man i we have i we have to do whatever bottega cross body, a turtleneck, a vest, a hat, a sock, a shoe, whatever it is.

42:08Jason Stewart:It can't just be a t-shirt anymore. I want to agree with you, but I'm scared of innovation. Innovation usually leads to mistakes. Yeah, and that's okay. Fail fast in the merch game, bro. Yeah, I've heard that. Just some breaking news. It looks like Brooks Nader is hooking up casually with Ben Affleck. So I just want to give a shout out to Ben for being, you know, however old he is, smoking two packs a day. He's still blowing the back out of the finest. If he's not in the drive-thru line at Wendy's, he's in the drive-thru line at Burger King. I mean, Affleck, one of the goats. If he's not putting fries in his mouth, he's putting cigs in his mouth.

42:55Jason Stewart:So I want to know, is he meeting, because like Brooke Snader, she's on like a reality show right where does she live she lives in la probably she's on a yeah she's she's on a she was on she has her own reality program she was also on dancing with the stars okay and she's like a basically like a barbie doll like ai model of a blonde bombshell kind of person right yes but she's been she's yes but she's been dissolving her filler as well as her lip filler so she's she's going back do you get do you get updates on your phone about that i just saw some pictures where there was some bruising um from the filler being deflated so i just and i came okay so the question being is this a regular old raya situation or is there's three options it's a raya situation it's uh you know we met at the chateau shared a cigarette bada bing bada boom or this is like the hollywood agent like make a you know call this person's person and this assistant and set it up no no one ben affleck's people ain't setting this up or allowing this to be set up benny benny boy had to go draw outside the lines and get this done himself yeah benny this might have been like i mean if if i'm if i'm benny i have an assistant brooks has an assistant we all have assistants no can't you just tell your assistant hey go uh find out who who does brooks and see if she wants to go grab a drink i mean maybe but i don't think she'll be like and she'll just say no bitch you fired no i'm saying that i don't think this is a setup like for publicity i think it's like he's like she's fine as hell i want to beat and she's like that's ben affleck less yeah what's the doubt no one loses here of course except jennifer lopez of course unlucky i just want to know how i just want to know how the two obviously when the two of them are in the same room he's gonna riz max her to hell and uh it's gonna be awesome when they finally have sex but i want to know how did they how did they meet i bet they met somewhere in real life a chance encounter or was it was it her idea was it his idea did he say bring me the nader or was she like wow i really like his thoughts on it on the future of ai that's look you know that one thing i know about brooks nader she's watching rogan that's that's for fucking sure tech speculation gets me wet i get it i just i'm so i'm so proud of ben he just keeps bouncing back he keeps winning and it's just you know it's a beautiful thing to see yeah it gives you hope it gives you hope as an aging white guy i know it's it's weird because when you're i'm sure that she's not necessarily his type intellectually and you know whatever i think i think his type intellectually is usually is sort of um but i think maybe it's clouded by the physical appearance i could be wrong the same the same way that you know champagne is not my type but you know if someone's pouring a fine vintage who am i to say no sure you know what i mean yeah you and i don't go to the provision shop and buy austeria caviar but you know if we're at the the caa mixer and they do a little bump on the hand you know yeah it'd be a fool to say no sure i think i think i think this is a classic situation where jennifer garner was a love of his life and probably much more intellectually stimulating and then after that he was a broken man and he was like fuck it fuck it J-Lo fuck it Brooks Nader I don't give a shit I don't care he's got a pussy sized hole in his heart and it's not he's got kids he's got like a bunch of kids he probably don't get to see that much I mean you know he's doing his thing the universe is like alright you have to choose between Ben Jennifer Gardner or Jennifer Lopez we've got fire and ice you're two loves you have to who are you gonna choose and he goes yes he's like what do you mean like who are you gonna have sex with all of them all of them i don't think i don't think it's gonna work that way watch it does it's all coming up affleck ain't tricking if you got it i guess speaking of ben our friend and uh how long gone guests and maga tennis star sign you know they do the camera signature after you win uh on the on the tennis matches and maybe some other sports matches as well he signs usa till it's backwards Who did?

47:11Jason Stewart:Ben Shelton. I don't know what USA Till It's Backwards means. Ben Shelton signs the camera after reaching the second week of the Australian Open. Well, I think when you're in Australia, you have to rep for your set. Sure. Which I understand, but I don't understand. Is that sort of his Christian version of suck my dick from the bike? You know, I think Till It's Backwards is sort of like another way of saying Till the casket drop or something like that. Like, I'm always going to feel this way, as it could be a way to paraphrase that statement. But it just kind of feels a little, you know, it's something that a 20 year old millionaire college student, you know, who lives in the American South would write on a camera or, you know, he has he has some right wing e sort of patriotism.

48:01Jason Stewart:But it's a weird thing because patriotism, if you just said, hey, man, USA, out of a global sports event, it's very normal. But now in 2026, with everything going on in the world. You say USA till it's backwards, and they're putting you at the table with fucking Fuentes and Clave LeClaire. Yeah, it's as if he's winning the Australian Open 1939, East Berlin till the casket drop, and it's a little bit like, oh, okay. this is pretty much i think this is i mean i do think he has some weird religious stuff you know but i think overall this is probably a look he's a little maga he's not um who's the who's the guy that the little fat boy that shot somebody and then was acquitted oh kyle rittenhouse the worst one of the one of the all time we gotta i just don't ben ben i know you're not listening but don't become the light-skinned kyle rittenhouse please you got so much going for you there's a situation where I and I take free speech seriously like Andrew Schultz and I really, I obviously care about this country and I think we should figure out a way to take the internet away from certain people.

49:14Jason Stewart:It's like some sort of house arrest situation where if you log on the anklet beeps. Yeah, I think Rittenhouse, I think we gotta take Rittenhouse, I think we gotta take it away. We gotta ban him. He can't have fire us he can't have spectrum he's got to sit and think about what he did no honestly this is so i mean partially because the edible is kicking in but in the future when we are all online and the you know the correctional facility industry and the jail system crumbles this is going to be the new way we're penalized and it will actually maybe help the future of the world where if you commit a crime we take away your access to the internet for a month dude that's what a punishment it'd be it'd be you have to go do your banking in person dude that's enough to get anybody's you have to go to a travel agency to book a flight problem is with him i think he appears at weird like gun shows and shit like i think he's like the way yeah i think the way like oh yeah yeah yeah a d-list celebrity will have to go to like you know sign autographs for a movie they did 30 years ago at like a convention yeah i think he's doing that for the worst people on planet earth like i think he's at like a buck knife convention signing eight by tens you know like where you can see his we the people tattoo we got to get him the fuck out of here honestly these guys there's too many of these guys bro there's so many guys that we got to get out of here yeah we need to have adam 22 and kyle rittenhouse box and whoever whoever loses no internet for a year i like that's some real stuff that honestly that is adam adam 22 would kill himself if he didn't have the internet for you well i mean for many of us it would really destroy our revenue oh i would be on the verge i i'd be on the verge of suicide but how good would it be if you're like well i can't do it i can't make money this year because i got penalized for whatever you know i hit that kid and kept driving whatever it might be and then now i'm a new man i do gardening i journal i wrote four books yeah Once I get out of the deck.

51:17Jason Stewart:I stain the deck. No, the deck would be stained like fucking crazy. I don't even miss FanDuel. You know what I mean? And also the coolest part is back to live television. No streaming services allowed. Oh, I want to talk about streaming real quick. Well, we got to talk about two things. We got to talk about. We can go an hour and 10, Chris. Fuck it. I'm on vacation. We got to talk. I'm not. We got to talk about VPR, the new Vanderpump rules, because they rebooted the entire cast. It's a whole new cast because it was just getting too crazy. I thought... Ooh, reboots it down, mama. I was like, it's going to be terrible.

51:53I'm not going to watch this shit. Like, no way. And then, of course, it was on in my household. And I'm like, oh, let me take a look. How bad could it be? See what the gang's up to. Unfortunately, it's amazing. It's like they never left. And I wasn't expecting it to be so good. so this would be

52:15Jason Stewart:an analogy that I would understand because I've never seen VPR no shade to Nomi Fry and the whole gang but like if and just like that the Sex and the City reboot if that was actually good oh yeah that's what it would feel like where you're like holy shit after 10 years they actually pulled it off there's a gay guy that has like hair down to his ass that he crinkles named Venus who looks like he crinkles? who looks like Riff Raff okay it's a plot okay well i i've never seen this show or or especially the new season but i think i saw a video or a news story maybe it was in the economist or the atlantic i don't remember which one but talking about how the the issue is that pump and her you know her restaurant bar and lounge empire is no longer like a popular busy destination yeah so how is that gonna color the narrative for this season.

53:15Jason Stewart:Are they going to pretend like business is still booming and it's 2012 again or is it going to be about how tough it is? It's so hard to open a restaurant in LA right now. The business isn't part of it at all. It doesn't matter at all. It's about these idiots hating each other, having sex, drinking too much. There's a woman who is a black belt in Taekwondo. Do they have to AI in the crowd. No, no, no. I think it's like they're still doing 160 covers, 170 covers. It's not tragic. It's not tragic. I need to stop talking about food on this podcast so much when you're dropping covers. No, no. I'm only saying that because I heard them say that on the show.

53:56Obviously, I know what the term means, but they were literally saying that on the show. There's these two guys that are cousins and you find out that they have an OnlyFans sort of together like a like a they're posing it's just there's a lot of the homies doing incest there's a lot of modern updates to the format that i wasn't expecting like the only fans edition was like nice a nice surprise there is the there is the the girl who's reminds me of emily oberg that is a black belt in taekwondo um there's you know there's people trying to be singers it's got everything um it's got a hot actor guy who who won't be monogamous you know it's got it's got

54:38Jason Stewart:sort of every everything you would want he contractually is not allowed to be monogamous but the best part about these shows is that it reminds you how many shitty apartments there are in los angeles everywhere from marina del rey to west hollywood to studio city to burbank they all live all over the place and they all live in that certain kind of shitty la apartment that i know that you've probably lived in at some point. I've been in several in my life. It's just a part of the fabric of the city of Los Angeles, and it plays a character, I think, in all of these reality shows that are based there that we just don't get to hear about that much.

55:14We don't give those kind of$1 ,200 a month side street studio city apartments with shitty kitchens. We don't give them enough respect. We need to shine the light on those more, I think. The hidden heroes. the first responders of the entertainment business. Look, it's the set. It's the set. The set designers win Oscars? What about the builders? What about the people who put this together?

55:38Jason Stewart:Yeah, it makes a noise for my location, Scott. But that's one thing. It has to be a real person. It was like when Decatur Dan's first apartment in LA. You know what I mean? That kind of vibe. No, worse than that, honestly. Where it's like, it's 400 square feet, but it's two stories. It's like, damn, half my shit is stairs.

56:00That's literally one of these apartments that's like that. It's like you got three roommates, but you got an upstairs and it's 400 square feet. You only got one parking spot. How's this going to work? Where's the Jenna going to go? No, no, no.

56:09Jason Stewart:The bathroom's on the stairs. Not under the stairs. It is the stairs. Oh, shit. But I urge you, anybody who's skeptical, which I'm sure there are many of us out there, I would say that it is worth a while. I've been watching, just because it has been so cold, I've really been catching up. You said Vanderpump till it's backwards. I've been catching up on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, which Jason is now starring Rachel Zoe. A nice chef, divorced Rachel. Mother. She's out there looking for love post-Roger. Okay, because Zoe's not with Roger anymore, right? Maybach Zoe 2 is single.

56:46Jason Stewart:Can we get Roger on the pod? I'm sure he's got nothing else going on. Get his, sir. I feel like Roger's probably low-key one of those guys who's a multimillionaire from real estate investments that he forgot about. I feel like he's done something that has made him disgustingly successful that wasn't his job. That he forgot about. Yeah, like, oh, yeah, I bought this building, actually. Yeah, I got this ranch in Santa Inez. And, yeah, they're going to turn it into, like, a brewery and an olive oil factory. I unloaded it. I totally forgot, but, yeah, I'm super liquid right now. The other thing we got to talk about is the Harold Stylish song that did come out and I am.

57:29Jason Stewart:Okay, last episode before we heard it, what did we predict? LCD, Jamie XX kind of vibe. And everyone pretty much agrees. And he came out saying that he was heavily influenced by LCD sound system. I've never been more disappointed. Like being influenced by LCD sound system is fine, but you got to keep that to yourself. You know what I mean? Just make something else up. We need something a little more obscure, but maybe that's part of his whole approach and why it's so successful. It's not that. It's not like, oh, this is actually like craft work, but like a certain lot. You know what I mean? Maybe that's part of it.

58:04Jason Stewart:Yeah, I mean, why explicitly state your references when they're so incredibly clear that you are, you know what I mean? Just say like words and descriptors. Don't say like, I'm trying to sound like D.L. Hewley. And then when you watch me do stand up, like half the jokes are D.L. Hewley jokes. And we're like, yeah, I know. I think it's a little bit like, I think maybe for us it feels like that. For his audience, they probably don't know who LCD Sound System is. Yeah. That's a good point. Or they have very, very little. It would be so cool if LCD opened for him on all these dates. He just comes out and does fucking a couple songs.

58:44And then you're like, wait a second. Look, I'm hoping for more, but I am not super. the fact that I couldn't find a guitar you know that put me in a spot no results found not put me in a spot

58:59Jason Stewart:I don't think we're going to get a ton of guitar ballads on here but I mean you know he doesn't want to make the same album over and over again now that he's you know can do whatever he wants I think it's cool to do those different movements you know he's thinking Beatles he's thinking macro not micro I think that's cool too And I think this will, and also, again, when you're this popular. This is Harry's kid A. When it first came out, ooh, cheers and jeers. And now, you know, and then boom, suddenly disco all the time, whatever it's called. I already forgot. It's going to be looked back. The pitchfork is going to go up, actually.

59:36Jason Stewart:The problem is, is that. They're going to refinance it. It's going to be 9.7 now. No, I think that it's a weird place to be in when you're so popular that you can do anything and it will work. That has to fuck you up mentally a little bit. especially state who you've stolen your music from doesn't matter doesn't matter doesn't matter 26 2026 it doesn't matter that being said you know that being said hopefully we'll get some that being said i'm pulling the rivian up to at least three of those shows at msg and i might i might need to go to london to see shania open yeah that's i mean be a nice little bang bang that's god tier that's god tier i'm gonna go to a few shows because i've missed the only time i've seen harold was at coachella and we only stayed for you know 20 minutes or something 30 minutes maybe so i thought we saw the whole set from him oh we did not bro we left we we didn't get home till 3 a.m but we still didn't leave till i guess it was just that satisfying of a performance i felt full even though i only ate half he came out the he came out the gate the portion was there well yeah so you know i think it'll be fine um and also shout out to friend of the show chad hugo who sued Pharrell for unpaid royalties.

1:00:47Skateboard, skateboard. Break this man off. Give this man a million. You know how far a million dollars goes in Virginia Beach?

1:00:52Jason Stewart:Yeah. I think regardless of the legitimacy of Chad's claims, I think he was saying that basically for a number of years there and a number of hit songs during their meteoric rise and epic run, Pharrell was sort of the face of the group going out there working the working he was front of house and chad was in the back you know making the songs and he you know pharrell has his own airplane and like you said chad 100 a million dollars would really help him out right now i don't think i think chad's got plenty of money i don't know he doesn't he doesn't he's not poor but he's definitely not he's not eating he's not you know really you really think he's i feel like he's a multi-millionaire many times i've booked him to DJ I know how much it costs that doesn't mean less than me if he just wants to DJ but he might just love it at the game I just find it hard to believe he's doing it because there's hoes there but still I mean like he's he's not uh I wouldn't I wouldn't know I don't know if I'd call him wealthy by today's standards and I think what he's also not an irresponsible guy he's not like a party guy he's not a drug addict like he's not like pissing his money away and living a lavish lifestyle he's pretty modest and Pharrell you have hundreds of millions of give your man fucking a 20 piece and just let it be hey bro we don't know what chad we don't know what chad did behind the scenes bro he could have done yeah i know he could three sides he could have done something nasty to pee and now skateboard says you ain't welcome no you come to paris they won't let you in and which you know this is very brooklyn beckham coded you know what i mean dude i don't think anyone's clean in this scenario here no i actually i don't either but i do think that it's one of those situations where they were you know they they needed each other it worked when it worked of course you know it was a it was a real it was one of i would say one of the most uh i mean as far as duos go i feel like they had a run that is the hall of fame level i'm trying to think of other i don't know many production duos but they're definitely the we got the heat makers we got uh what are the two guys in fucking atlanta i forgot they're called they had so Oh, you're talking about organized noise?

1:02:57Jason Stewart:No, no, no. It was more of a deal. Oh, The Runners. I don't know The Runners. They did a lot of Rick Ross shit. Oh. So many to name. I had dinner last night at Tommy Bahama. It's not bad, right? It's not. I like it more than Hillstone. It's the same as Hillstone to me, but it's more fun because it has the island vibe. We had it in Palm Desert, and then there was a story in the New York Times a couple weeks ago about how it's become a power lunch spot in Midtown. Yeah. It's good. It is the same. It's a little bit better than it needs to be. It's a little bit of an underdog. You don't think that the food's going to be as good.

1:03:31Jason Stewart:But you know how they say Chuck E. Cheese, his real name is Charles Entertainment Cheese? Yeah. I came up with the one for Tommy Bahama. What is it? Thomas? Thomas Bahamas.

1:03:47All right. So you're saying you added an S to the end of Bahama. You're saying it's Thomas Bahamas. If it doesn't work, let me know.

1:03:55Jason Stewart:I'll be seated here. No, no, it works great. I'm just trying to understand. I just want to see how you got there. Economy of words. I'll tell you I got here. Two grapefruit skinny martinis. That's all it takes, baby. That's all it takes. Had me hiccuping in my capellini. God damn it. All right, if you're in New York, stay warm. Get the Canada goose out. Get the North Face out. Get the fucking Mountain Harder out. If you're in Hawaii, don't forget to reapply the sunscreen. on the backside after every 45. Don't worry. I can't wait. I'm going to be in LA next week. I'm hoeing myself out. I'm going to all the Grammy parties.

1:04:30I'm going to be out. Valet, I'm going to try to spend a stack on Valet.

1:04:35Jason Stewart:VIP listeners, we'll see you at the bungalows this week. We'll be posted there all week. Chris Valet Challenge starts Friday afternoon in LA. Okay, run it up. Thank you guys for listening to How Long Gone. We'll be back next week with more podcasts and we'll see you soon. Mahalo. Let's do it.

1:04:56Yes, sir.

1:05:00Yo. On and on in my nuts, I'm palming. Take two of these and call me in the morning. Monster Energy. Everybody knows White Monster, Zero Ultra. That's the OG. It kicked off this whole Zero Sugar Energy drink thing. But Ultra is a whole lineup now. You've got Strawberry Dreams, Blue Hawaiian, Sunrise, and Vice Guava. And they all bring the monster energy punch. So if you've been living in the white can, branch out. Ultra's got a flavor for every vibe. And every single one is zero sugar. Tap the banner to learn more.