903. - Chris & Jason

10:25Jason Stewart:I just searched sexy sashimi on Twitter, and it's mostly pornography.

10:32Chris Black:It's a restaurant somewhere, for sure. It's almost all pornography. Look at this picture. I just sent it to you. Look at this picture. Oh, okay. This is AI generated, Chris. Yeah, yes, of course. But I'm just saying like I have seen. Chris is slop posting now. You saw it. Jesus Christ. I did not post. I did not post. Do not say that. I looked. But I've seen this 15 times because people, I guess, remotely related to me are reposting this sexy fish. And they're like, I just don't want to know this.

11:00Jason Stewart:I think you need to do a Lauren Sherman style trimming of the hedges and maybe do some unfollowing because this is not –

11:08Chris Black:This isn't a follow. This is for you.

11:09Jason Stewart:I'm a foodie, Chris, and I have never seen this.

11:11Chris Black:This is for you, to be clear.

11:13Jason Stewart:Okay, so I'm looking at right now the rice ball.

11:16Chris Black:But his face is about to be demon mode.

11:19Jason Stewart:I like that. Oh, Chris, come on. Come on. But, yeah, he went over, and there's a little pile of wasabi, and he's sort of treating that like coconut oil on this piece of salmon belly and she is really fired up. He's rubbing the wasabi all over her fat ass and now he's pouring that sodium free... Oh, now he's drizzling the soy sauce on his own ass. And then they fuck. He straight up fucks. Jesus Christ.

11:49Jason Stewart:Destroy. Girth masters this... Oh my god. so deep put her butt to sleep and then the salmon eggs pop out as if that's how sex works oh my god there's so many children who are learning about sex for the first time from this brain brain rot

12:07Chris Black:sloppa sloppa it's it's unbelievable it's it's it's unbelievable we're banning the word slop on this podcast i've said that before i don't ever want to hear slop again well you can't send me

12:16Jason Stewart:slop and expect me to not say the s word this isn't slop this is this this is not slop this

12:21Chris Black:is art that was created using digital technology. What about brain rot? I don't want to hear brain rot ever again either. I don't know. I just don't. I don't want to see it. I think slop is unfortunately one of those words that has taken hold and being applied in many places maybe where it shouldn't be. Of course. It's a good descriptor I think to some extent, but you can't be I think we got to choose one. If you want to talk about sweet green and call it a slop bowl, you can do that. If you want to talk about AI and call it AI I slop, you can do that. You can't do both. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by ShipStation.

12:57Chris Black:Jason, when your company is growing fast at the speed of light, order fulfillment can make or break your success. ShipStation's intelligence-driven platform brings order management, rate shopping, inventory and returns, warehouse systems, and comprehensive analytics all in one place, saving customers 15 hours per week. That's a lot of time, Jason, on fulfillment.

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14:01Jason Stewart:Thanks to our friends at ShipStation.

14:02Chris Black:Try ShipStation free for 60 days with full access to all features, no credit card needed. Go to ShipStation.com and use code HOWLONG for 60 days free. 60 days gives you plenty of time to see exactly how much time and money you're saving on every shipment. That's ShipStation.com, code HOWLONG, ShipStation.com, code HOWLONG. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Factor. Jason, the days are cold, the goals are big, and I don't have any time to cook. Luckily, Factor makes healthy eating easy with fully prepared meals designed by dietitians and crafted by chefs so you can eat well without any of that pesky planning or cooking.

14:40Jason Stewart:Yeah, Chris, I love to cook, but as the days get busier, the grind gets grindier. Sometimes I don't always have time to prepare a delicious meal for my family. And when you're busy or stressed out, you're hungry, you're hangry, it's easy to reach for some dumb fast food or eat something that you're going to regret. That's why I like using Factor so I can get a nice healthy meal, colorful veggies, whole foods, no refined sugar sweeteners, no weird seed oils, no questioning where this stuff came from. It's all coming from great places. The calories are low. The proteins are high. And there's 100 rotating weekly meals keeping things fresh.

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16:11Jason Stewart:Shoddy eat like a pro. Woke can't mean two different things. Yapping used to be derogatory, and now it just means having a conversation.

16:22Chris Black:Yeah, none of this makes sense anymore.

16:24Jason Stewart:Woke used to mean you don't trust the government, and now it means you're gay. And slop is on the same path, Chris. Get the slop out. We needed a new word for slop.

16:33Chris Black:But I would say that slop, when it was applied to kava, and that felt appropriate because slop to me is giving food when used derogatory.

16:45Jason Stewart:Yeah, but people will say slop as in the food that pigs eat, as in the TikTok content you're just shoveling it into your mouth like Michael Rappaport.

16:54Chris Black:But I'm not. That's my whole point. I'm not eating it. I'm watching it, so it doesn't work. That's my whole point.

16:59Jason Stewart:You can't have slop for the eyes. It is slop for your eyes, Chris. No, no.

17:03Chris Black:That's not the definition of the word. If we're going to say it's like what pigs eat, then it has to stick in the culinary space. That's my whole point. I'm not trying to police people's language, of course. Use whatever pronouns you want. I'm just saying that I find it's being applied too many places, I guess is what I'm saying. What else is fucking new? Well, it takes away from the impact, I guess.

17:26Jason Stewart:Yeah, and also maxing. Not everything is maxing, you guys. You can't max, yeah. Only one thing is maxing.

17:32Chris Black:Going to the bathroom is not piss maxing. You're just going to the bathroom.

17:37Jason Stewart:It's only piss-maxing if you hit a PR.

17:40Chris Black:That's the only time you're allowed to say it. Yeah, you can't do every... You're right. Everything isn't maxing.

17:45Jason Stewart:It's like... If my piss yield mogs yours, then yeah, I'm piss-maxing. But otherwise, there's no... I'm simply using the restaurant.

17:52Chris Black:Dude, I feel so soon. How soon before Clive LeClaire dies?

17:56Jason Stewart:That's what I... I called it already. I said 48 months.

18:00Chris Black:Okay, I give him less. After seeing... I don't understand. I don't really understand it anymore. I don't... So he just goes places and fucks chicks and does GHB? I don't get what is his output. Is it streaming? Is he on Twitch? Kick. Kick? Okay, so he's just merely a streamer.

18:21Jason Stewart:I think so.

18:22Chris Black:Kick is like Twitch, but you can say the N word when you're white. Okay, okay. It's a really dark. It is really, really dark. Because points that I've seen, he's getting wheeled out like Kanye on the SSRI heavy dose. like it don't look it don't look like he he's all there how bummed would you be if you like your

18:41Jason Stewart:your daughter was at asu and she popped up on the feed you know checking her hair and the in the kick cam replay and knowing that your daughter is about to get clavmax let me tell you something let me tell you something right now but also if he's on so many amphetamines maybe his

18:59Chris Black:his dick is not mogging oh he's probably taking other stuff to combat that but i would say that If you let your daughter go to ASU, I think that's all. You kind of know what you're getting into. If that's her top school, you know that your daughter's a little bit of a hoe.

19:12Jason Stewart:I wonder if colleges are going to start instating this is a clav-free zone. Streamers are not welcome. I think we're going to have to set some hard line rules because it used to be the revolution of young kids who are not using social media and they're living their real lives outside. Yes, yes, yes. And I think we're going to have to have a division of people who are like, we just do not. The people who are in the streamer world, you guys can just live in your own world. Kind of like how we're going to annex California. You guys just live in your own place. And you can have Miami. We'll go to Fort Lauderdale.

19:50Jason Stewart:We'll go to Louisiana, whatever it needs. But you guys are in your own separate zone. And we're going to continue on with the regular zone. Because we can't cross the streams too much. Only bad things happen.

20:01Chris Black:Yeah, I wouldn't mind something like that. I wouldn't mind giving them their own country. They got to go to the British Virgin Islands or something. That's where they live. I mean, I saw a pic because Dave Portnoy is in San Francisco, of course, for the Super Bowl. My 5 '2 king. Unfortunately, yeah, that's what I was going to say. There was a video of him with a chick that was 5 '3 and they were the same height. And I was like, I always thought people were being a little, you know. I thought it was like, oh, he's short, ha, ha, ha. But wow. Like, I know he can't run, but I didn't know he couldn't run because he was so – Nobody tippy-toes better than him.

20:34Chris Black:No, but I was shocked. He's a tippy master. 5 '3 is crazy, bro. That's, like, absolutely crazy. Thank God he's rich.

20:39Jason Stewart:You know, it's like Napoleon, but for college basketball. It's just little man getting bread, eating pizzas. He's doing the thing. But, yeah, I guess speaking of the Super Bowl and San Francisco, I'm really noticing in the last week that the world has somehow discovered san francisco for the first time this weekend it's like yeah yeah it says people are talking about it like they're going to dubai or something like that like wow look at this there's like a fucking a road that goes all squirrely twisty down this track and there's a big bridge and like wow it's like seafood and asian people i i just thought that everyone knew about san francisco yeah but maybe this is the first time people from mauga states are visiting yeah definitely i mean

21:21Chris Black:san francisco is is is one of america's probably i think considered by a lot of people one of America's great cities. It's a real city. 100%.

21:30Jason Stewart:I would say it's a top five city of America.

21:32Chris Black:It has amazing cultural history. I think it was sort of... It had a down moment during COVID and I think it's sort of coming back but I also think that the Super Bowl is... You're right. It's like, oh! Full House was real? I didn't know they had these. I didn't know they had all this stuff. This is nice.

21:48Jason Stewart:Well, in the same way that Bill Gates created the COVID vaccination so we could secretly vaccinate his wife on the HPV virus that he gave her. A long play that I admire. I think that people, the tech oligarchs, took San Francisco, and then they were always sort of on the outside. The cool San Francisco, the queer community, you know, it was very kind of anarchy and punk and queer and different. Keep San Francisco weird energy. And then we kept the nerds at bay. And then the nerds during COVID sort of made the city not cool to live in anymore. The cool people left. ai money is coming in and now it's turned into like the worst manhattan finance bro strongholds

22:31Chris Black:tech i think it's i think it's lady i think it's better now than it was five years ago though

22:36Jason Stewart:well yeah it's better than it was five years ago but five years you know everything was better than it was five years ago it's just you know it's a pump and dump i don't know if that's necessarily

22:44Chris Black:true i don't know if that's necessarily true but i i just i i think you're right though people are discovering it for yeah people are discovering for the first time and it is funny to see but i

22:54Jason Stewart:didn't i mean there's nothing much to say on it other than i just think it's funny that like that yeah and also speaking of super bowl i want to talk about you being in san francisco but did you see our man ryan gosling getting flame for throwing that that troubling football that he

23:10Chris Black:threw on that commercial oh i thought that was just fake like i thought he just i i just i didn't

23:15Jason Stewart:know what the the throw was real but then like in they use cgi or whatever to make the ball like fly 200 feet into the middle of the what was that hole sign what was that fake charity that was

23:29Chris Black:around so long ago it feels like it's for a fake charity it feels like it's it's i think that he was promoting like a movie or something and it feels very to write love on her arms vibes like

23:38Jason Stewart:the people that do like the stop h8 with the duct tape over their mouth yeah yeah yeah like what is

23:43Chris Black:it's for i don't know but it's so important i didn't click on it i saw that ryan gosling video 40 times and i did not click on it at all oh really well people are upset that you know

23:54Jason Stewart:many people's goats women want to fucking men want to be him smooth cat every he's got it all but then you know you can really tell about a man with the way he throws the way he throws a ball and he throws that football in a way it's not i mean it doesn't look like steven urkel doing it

24:11Chris Black:We really expect Ryan Gosling and his fillers to throw a fucking touchdown pass.

24:18Jason Stewart:I mean, he doesn't do a McLovin-style throw, but he's a buff, sexy, all-American guy. It's not that bad, but it's bad enough to – it ruffled my feathers.

24:29Chris Black:I think people are being a little – I mean, I think it's also he only comes out from his cave in Pasadena once every six months. so for it to be him throwing a football through a donut uh is not i think that is also it's i guess

24:43Jason Stewart:that's that's the beauty or the the magic of the the hollywood mysticism where you know we we see the photos of him on your tumblr where he's got the place beyond the pines he's he added 30 more pounds of muscle you got a bunch of fake tattoos bleached his hair while the white feet are on he looks so hot he's just objectively he's as hot as you know how long do you know how long ago that

25:05Chris Black:was like ryan gosling's irrelevant that's like 15 years ago but a long time ago well all that is to

25:10Jason Stewart:say you see he just looks like the the object of masculinity he's gonna ride a fucking motorcycle kill a guy and then fuck your chick you know it's all there but then you know he was doing like break dancing on the disney channel when he was five years old like he never got a chance to

25:25Chris Black:learn how to throw a ball like a man okay the throw i'm looking at it now i've watched five times a little replay it's not great i know you fancy yourself a spiral artist i mean i'm gonna throw a fucking spiral in this position and we're gonna do it until i look good too whereas i'm more

25:38Jason Stewart:of a baseball man you're more of a pigskin fella what do you think rated on the pitchfork scale

25:43Chris Black:where how do you rate his throw i well the problem is it's hard to tell because the results were altered give me a number no but 1.1 6.3 6.3 okay i think i just think that light six but i think that with no receiver on the other end it's a little tough like it's a little tough to tell because if you make, you know, if it's...

26:02Jason Stewart:We're not talking about where the ball is ending up or going. We're talking about the way his body looks when he throws a ball. Jason, do you think I could...

26:09Chris Black:His arm, his shoulders, his placement. I can't separate those things, Jason. I think the result is part of the journey. And if he hits him going across and we get some yardage, I don't know how we're going to... I don't know how I could just act like that didn't happen. But when you're throwing to no one...

26:24Jason Stewart:Yeah, if he hits his guy there and he can get out of bounds... That's what I'm saying. If he hits him...

26:28Chris Black:And keep that – stop the clock, I think. If he hits him in the numbers and we go for it on fourth, I think it's something – I don't know. I mean, I think – like, for example, if he's going for two and that's a game winning, you know, that's different.

26:40Jason Stewart:We're so fired up for Super Bowl. Like, he's not even going to punt on fourth down. Like, this is what I live for.

26:46Chris Black:We don't punt, bro. We're going for it every time. That's my – We don't punt. You know who else doesn't punt? Bad Bunny. I mean, I wish you would punt.

26:53Jason Stewart:I, of course, will be boycotting the Super Bowl unless Bad Bunny decides to sing in English. Thank you very much.

27:01Chris Black:Did you see the video of Cardi B doing a stripper-style dance for a robot and then they fell over? Of course.

27:09Jason Stewart:All faded, just drunk as hell at like 115, freaking a robot until it falls on top of you in public.

27:16Chris Black:I was like, you need to... It doesn't get better. Bitch, you need to go home. That is like... That's going to be... That video is going to... That's her career now.

27:24Jason Stewart:Cardi B looks like that salmon sashimi. That's her. Cardi B has just turned, they should just replace Cardi B with AI salmon sashimi with a fat ass. And I love Cardi B. I think she in a lot of ways is a national treasure. Other than her history of drugging, raping, and robbing people,

27:40Chris Black:she is America's sweetheart. That's fine with me. If you're into that underworld, that's kind of on you. I agree. But I found that video to really sum up the sort of where we are in the world. because I just really had it all.

27:55Jason Stewart:Because I guess the only people, A-list people, who have interacted with these robots who are really going down to Boston Technology Labs to kick the tires, we got Kim K, a known voluptuous lady doing tasteful nudes with the SpaceX, Twitter, Elon Musk, Tesla robot, and now you got Cardi B, another 5 '2", 200-pound voluptuous woman over here with the other one. It's very like, this is the iPhone and this is the Samsung. We got the little cricket wireless over here. There's going to be like a new Ryanair Southwest Airlines robot that's going to get like... It's too... Who would be the person for that?

28:39Chris Black:Also, I wonder if that was planned or if she walked out of the hotel room after having seven shots of Casa Azul, and she just saw the robot standing. I had that gonjak. Because the robot could have just been standing. It could have been a friend of one of the autograph seekers or a member of TMZ, and she just saw the robot and couldn't help herself but popped that thang.

29:04Jason Stewart:I believe the robot, I'm just getting the report, and it's been registered to NBA Young Boys, so I think she may have had that on loan from him.

29:12Chris Black:That's nice of her to do that. But I got to say, San Francisco was absolutely lit, man. It was like, I guess I'd never been in a city for the Super Bowl before. I guess I was in Atlanta for the Olympics, but I was like a kid, so I've never really experienced it. It is really hard to get anywhere. You've never been bowl-mogged in a city? I've never been bowl-mogged. It's interesting. The Tom Brown GQ thing was at the Legion of Honor, which is this beautiful museum. It was amazing. like the setting was really nice i think they're opening for war zone right yes yeah legion of honor legion of honor had three eps with trust kill legion of honor and then it's legion of

29:53Jason Stewart:honor then all out wars at 7 15 and then we can probably just cruise after that but it was like

29:58Chris Black:it was it was really it was one of the it was one of the most beautiful drives i've ever done it was like so fucking nice but everything from from the castro to the legion of honor no no very funny from berkeley oh that's right i forgot you're staying in b-town we stayed in berkeley and the drive was at the i i thought berkeley and i loved it there i really liked it and i thought it was going to there a but i thought it was going to be more of a 30 minute drive into san francisco you know what i mean a quick 30 you're you're hoping for a little bop over the

30:28Jason Stewart:hill just a little studio city to the chateau oh it's a 27 it's not bad it ain't that it was

30:34Chris Black:We were touching an hour, you know, and it wasn't in a Waymo, you know, so I had to make small talk. But I think I said this when we were talking to Bruce Hornsby, but I was like in a hotel that was basically on the campus of Berkeley. So it was an amazing – I hadn't been around college students. And New York college students are different. They like look cool. Berkeley college students, man, I know those are the future leaders of America.

30:59Jason Stewart:Did you face-log all the Berkeley students?

31:02Chris Black:I actually did. But the level of nerd that was walking around that campus, I was like, I hope you are so smart. Because if you try to do anything else, you are going to fail. I mean, just guys that looked like gray from sitting in front of computers. It was mostly the fellas. Mostly the fellas. Okay. It was just guys with like, they just looked like they'd never communicated with another human being in their entire lives that wasn't on a computer.

31:31Jason Stewart:This is the first generation of iPad babies who are now old enough to buy a gun and vote. Yes. And get a 4.7 on their ass. Easily.

31:42Chris Black:Easily. Beautiful campus. Great, funny, weird food. I went to this. There was a Taiwanese coffee place next to the hotel. It was the closest coffee option. And it was all filled with students. They were all studying. I was like, I'm sure this will be fine. Was it giving boba? Oh, it gets worse. Hold on. So it's all screens. You can't order with a person, of course.

32:02Jason Stewart:Oh, hey, first bad bunny, now this.

32:05Chris Black:Type it in. But then I'm looking at the menu, and I'm like, wait a second. This is billed as binge coffee house, and there is no – I'm like, can I get – and then so finally I flagged down an employee. I'm like, hey, could I just get a coffee? And they were like, oh, well, this is the most coffee thing we have, and it had chocolate in it. It was like a full Starbucks. I was like, I can't – but I'm saying, can I get a cup of coffee? And she was like, no. I'm like, what about a cold brew? They're like, no.

32:34Jason Stewart:Okay, when you go, when you're looking on Yelp or Google or whatever, and you see the closest coffee shop, and it's a Taiwanese spot, and it's giving boba, you really have to dig deep. You have to look on the menu and see if it's going to be your kind of coffee shop. It was so close to me. You thought you'd at least just pop in. You had the data.

32:52Chris Black:But I will say that was the charming part about Berkeley, is there was no corporates. There really wasn't corporate businesses. So I was happy to walk around and give my money to independent operators. And the other charming thing about that whole neighborhood is there's several independent bookstores that seem to be thriving, which is kind of unheard of. I posted a picture today, but I went by this Pegasus Books, which is definitely some fake anarchist shit. They had Comet Bus in the window. I was like, I'm feeling at home right here. You know what I mean?

33:23Jason Stewart:The spirit of the 90s is alive in Berkeley.

33:26Chris Black:Me walking from the hotel, passing by a comet bus in the window to go to Equinox, that describes me perfectly. That's my entire being. Chris Black, old Riot Grrrl ass. Yeah, exactly. But getting to and from, the Tom Brown show was in a museum. So it was kind of crazy, the setup, but it was great. I'm glad I was there.

33:52Jason Stewart:I feel like there's been a lot of fashion shows in the museums, right?

33:55Chris Black:yeah I know but I think they had to like I think they had to have art handlers moving like Rodin sculptures and shit to make it work like I think it was I think it was like a little more I think it was like

34:05Jason Stewart:I don't know I think I honestly I think I've been to that museum actually it was great it's quite a space right yeah it's a beautiful

34:11Chris Black:it's a beautiful building yeah and the weather is pretty good do it got stories do it got stories you mean as far as flights oh level levels of a building I thought you meant Instagram I'm like probably yeah well Well, there was, I was on. Does it have a storied past? I think it has. Yes, I think it does because we went into like, there's like a theater room and it was sort of ground zero for like all the live stream.

34:33Jason Stewart:I just remember being stair-mogged by that museum, but I could be wrong. It's been some time.

34:38Chris Black:No, there's probably more stairs than I had access to, depending on where you are. But there was a, I was talking to Rob, who's like the head of Special Projects, Tom Brown, because they released these ASICs that everybody is liking quite a lot. Mm-hmm. And they are very good. I will be getting a pair. But the other collaboration was a, you know, the Bose, the classic Bose sort of over ear that all the businessmen wear on the plane? Like the OG noise canceling?

35:05Jason Stewart:The V1.0 noise canceling headphones when they're the only show in town. Yes. I'm looking at these Asics right now. They do look pretty nice.

35:14Chris Black:They're sick. They're really good. The gray ones especially.

35:16Jason Stewart:Kind of like a little Nike TN mixed with the little gaze drive. It's looking good.

35:20Chris Black:But the head... Carry on. He brings me a sample. He's like, oh, yeah, we did a Bose collaboration. I'm like, oh, shit, let me see. Because I used to wear those all the time, and I love them because they're hard. They do this funky fold-up in the case that sort of – no matter how long you have these headphones, you never really do it right the first time. It's actually amazing. So anyway, he brings them out of the case, and I'm like, what's the lining? He's like, oh, that's cashmere. So we got the cashmere lining on the ear cradle.

35:52Jason Stewart:Is this a How Long Gone exclusive?

35:54Chris Black:I think, I mean, there's pictures of them.

35:56Jason Stewart:This has not made it to hidden NY.

35:58Chris Black:Yeah, it's not hidden. And then the band is also cashmere. And then it's got the four bar on that. They're very good looking collaborative headphones. I was very impressed with the collaboration. That's the way collabs should be. And they're not expensive either. They're pretty reasonable from what I understand.

36:16Jason Stewart:Hopefully they partnered with our friends at Quince for that Mongolian cashmere at half the price.

36:21Chris Black:that is not what they did uh there's um but there's a there was a guy in the walking in the show a football player period a professional football player who i recognized i think his name is justin jefferson i recognized him because he was on one of my show one of my football reality shows and he was in the in the sort of run through he was wearing um several diamond chains but then he had a pair of beats that had been bedazzled and he was wearing on his head sort of like an accessory not on his ears you know what i mean where you sort of have them above your ears so he's doing something that maybe northwest would do very much but my question is because his diamonds obviously his chains and bracelets were real i'm looking at the the photo right now of the chains

37:07Jason Stewart:they are unbelievable fat they're fat diamond chains jesus christ do you think though my question to you is when you got it like that no gwen stefani when you when you got it like that

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39:43Jason Stewart:You can do the best job at that, Chris, and it has all of the services you need to get paid all in one place. Let's say you're doing consultations, you're doing events, you're doing experiences. Maybe you're a wedding photographer and you want to upload all your pics on the back end. You want to do some donations for what you're up to. Get paid on time with professional on-brand invoicing as well as online payments streamline your workflow with built-in appointment scheduling as well as email marketing tools it's time we took a second look at squarespace

40:19Chris Black:chris uh so head to squarespace.com slash how long for a free trial when you're ready to launch use offer code how long to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain

40:32Jason Stewart:oh so you're saying are are they calling karen to do the swarovski crystals or are they actually pulling yellow diamonds real shit i mean lab grown maybe what about lab grown maybe we get a deal on the labbies they ain't lab grown i don't i'm saying i i don't think i'm saying for the for the necklace the jewelry the earrings that's real blood shit but when we're gonna do 700 units on the Beats by Dre, maybe lab-grown is a good compromise between the Swarovski and a real diamond. No, very... When you, quote, got it like that, it's still going to cost$4 million instead of$40 or whatever.

41:10Chris Black:No, it looked cool as hell. I was just very surprised. I was like, wow, I wonder at this level if you just go real, whereas most people just want the sparkle.

41:19Jason Stewart:It's cool to see. Just imagine being... It is. Just imagine being his business manager. and just be like, so you want to use real diamonds when you bedazzle the beats?

41:30Chris Black:One of the worst jobs on earth is a professional athlete business manager. I would rather pick up trash.

41:38Jason Stewart:Johnny Dang's just going to superglow those things right on there, huh?

41:41Chris Black:What do you mean? Leave him at the airport again, probably, aren't you? All right, you got to pick one. You want to put your cousin through college or you want to get the Johnny Dang beats? It's your choice, bro. We can't do both, okay? We cannot do both.

41:51Jason Stewart:Do you want to do the Johnny Dang beats or do you want to buy that island? We got to pull the trigger one way or another.

41:57Chris Black:But I was, okay, so I'm at the show. There's like a cocktail before the show starts because it was a live stream. And it's, you know, I'm talking to the usual suspects are there, obviously. But it's San Francisco, so it's like a different crowd. There's a lot of VICs, you know, people from Apple, people from Facebook, et cetera. And I'm -

42:15Jason Stewart:A lot of crazy rich Asians in the building.

42:16Chris Black:Tiana Taylor is there with her kids. They look great. And Tom Brown, you know, there's a few other - there's a few other people in the building but then I see someone that mogged me and it was Bronwyn from Real Housewives of Salt Lake City what name did you say Bronwyn Bronwyn is my favorite character from Real Housewives of Salt Lake City but she so recently she's been in the news because she left her fat old rich husband who was apparently the CEO of HP and now she has this new sort of sort of like a young hot boyfriend who's giving like Justin Timberlake in his prime. Okay? So they roll in.

42:57Jason Stewart:I'm sorry. I haven't got over Bronwyn yet.

43:00Chris Black:Bronwyn. So Bronwyn walks in looking stunning. All Tom Brown. The hair is, because in the reunion she had long hair, didn't look great. She's got short hair. And I'm. This person is on three yards and we are not. I'm flabbergasted by Bronwyn. I'm stunned that she's there. I wouldn't have expected it. Her new man is trailing behind. He knows the game. And I'm with Nikki Campbell. And I'm like, wow. I'm with Zach Barron, Dan Riley, and Nikki Campbell. Guess who knew who she was? Only Nikki and I. Only Nikki and I knew who she was. Nikki's like, oh, I just talked to her. She's amazing. I had to go up to her.

43:39Chris Black:I was like, okay. Two biggest queens in the fucking court. I was like, okay, I'm going to have to go up to her. And I went up to her. I was like, hey, look, I'm a huge fan. I love your work. I would love to get a picture. Hey, Bronwyn.

43:49Jason Stewart:Moment of your time, Bronwyn. I would love to get a picture with you.

43:53Chris Black:And I've said to you before, sometimes in these situations, these people think I'm making fun of them. You know, because I'm not giving fan.

44:01Jason Stewart:Oh, because they pull up and they see, I get asked this question all the time, but not from a motherfucker that looked like you.

44:07Chris Black:Exactly. Yeah, exactly. This guy is a little, he looks like a cop. What's the catch? And so Nikki's like, I'll take the picture. and then so Nicky's taking a picture of me on his on his cell phone okay and I'm I'm smiling etc you know and then Krista who's the the GQ photographer that that obviously we've worked with over the years yeah shout out Krista you're the best Krista sees this happening knows who Bronwyn is zooms in okay takes the official pics I haven't received my god I haven't received them yet but I'm just saying that the the community the the GQ Real Housewives community came together to make sure that I had this special moment to savor forever.

44:48Chris Black:The few, the proud, you guys are strong. Salt Lake strong. It was a big moment. We were done and Chris was like, I fucking love her. So it was a great moment. It was a full circle moment, I would say.

45:00Jason Stewart:Since that event happened, how often have you been refreshing your email waiting for that little Dropbox thing? I did.

45:07Chris Black:I asked. I asked. Wait for that.

45:09Jason Stewart:Let me get that Hui transfer.

45:10Chris Black:I asked her to send it yesterday, and she said, I'll send it to you tomorrow. So I'm giving her until 3 p.m.

45:16Jason Stewart:It's not at the super duper top of the pro. We're going to get the Tom Brady photos kind of touch up first, and then we'll get to you and Bronwyn.

45:25Chris Black:Diplo showed up late, so we're still processing his imagery. But yeah, no, it was a funny. Queen Latifah, she's really pushing back on the flex. I've seen Queen Latifah a lot in person, and she really looks great. she really has a glow to her that i feel like she's an enigmatic force of a human yes it's really impressive every time i see her i'm like you really have the force field around you because

45:50Jason Stewart:you've been famous and and not unlike a whoopie goldberg yeah yeah whoopies a little more mary

45:57Chris Black:jay no more drama in my life yeah true that's a good point that's all all three top all three

46:01Jason Stewart:they enter the room and like even if you don't immediately recognize that it's queen latifah just the presence in the room you don't even have to see her just just sense that the aura is in your zone you're like what's something going on you feel that you feel that you're in the presence of royalty yeah you meet queen latifah like she knows your name already like what you know exactly yeah no that that really is the vibe oh chris so lovely to see you um how's alex okay so since you are um a brown newport brawn win newport aficionado do do uh i have a few follow-ups does does her fan base have a stand name like uh like the racists for addison ray

46:43Chris Black:okay the the winner the brawn winners i brawn winners is a great one i don't know i mean the thing about people like this is they're reviled as much as they are loved so it's a little it's a little tough you know when you're that is the t when you're on reality tv you have to be polarizing to be a star the camera time is is not for everyone oh yeah yeah the reason why we get so

47:02Jason Stewart:many clicks on Spotify. It's not for our fans. It's for our haters. It's true. Okay, more questions, Chris. More questions. So Bronwyn Newport, she's on The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Yeah, yeah. Okay. That's right. So do you know if she is a transplant or is she born and raised? No, no, no.

47:21Chris Black:She's from Brazil, so she is not born and raised. But I think that you to be on that, I think to be on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, you have to have some sort of Mormon connection. So I think maybe her mom or like a stepdad, someone is Mormon. Okay.

47:36Jason Stewart:This plot is thickening more than a nice Brazilian potato and mofongo stew. Okay. Okay, so she's a Brazilian person living in Salt Lake. She probably married into the Mormon culture, which is a very strict religious culture. I'm looking at her IG bio. She's a lover of fashion. And then the next thing, drag. what's up with her and drag culture that she's like she's into drag drag queening sometimes she looks like one when she overdoes it but i would say that okay so is bronwyn a cinder fella is she no she's she's a full she's a woman okay so maybe she's just a fan and supporter of the drag queens and drag culture she's just a member of the community i believe that to be the case i don't okay i'm just saying that it seems like that is potentially at odds with a conservative mormon community and that's probably great for ratings over at the bravo network well all of these women

48:35Chris Black:sort of have have defected in some way from the church you know they they might they sip they sip a little they smoke a little they fuck a little you know they're they're not they're doing it

48:46Jason Stewart:it's like beck and gino giovanni rebisi and beck you know we're still we still got that we still got our email but you know we ain't really fucking with it just hit up beck at scientology.com

48:57Chris Black:and I'll get right back to you. I'll hit you right back.

49:01Jason Stewart:I sent an email to beckittscientology.org. Got a bounce back? I thought that was weird. Are you doing Sunday off? Oh, dude, that's so funny. Okay, the next thing, the next interest of hers, a popular Utah activity, surfing, which I'm assuming goes back to her roots in Rio de Janeiro. And then the next, her final, this is basically her Grammy, her EGOT, her, you know, put the big dick on the table moment. Dr. Pepper, an NBA champion for inclusion and acceptance for all.

49:36Chris Black:Wow. Okay. I didn't know that award existed, but I'm glad to know.

49:41Jason Stewart:And there is a little bit of a sort of grammatical typo where she forgot to send a space between the ampersand and the NBA.

49:49Chris Black:Okay.

49:49Jason Stewart:Which, you know, Twitter fingers.

49:51Chris Black:I'm going to keep it a buck with you, Jason. I'm more familiar with her work from the television. than I am with some of her extracurriculars.

49:59Jason Stewart:So none of her Dr. Pepper NBA inclusion work has come across your desk at all?

50:06Chris Black:I haven't. That is sort of out of my purview as a fan. But now that you have alerted me to its existence, I'm going to make sure to do the work and investigate so that I know kind of what, when it comes up, I'll be able to speak on it.

50:19Jason Stewart:All I ask, literally all I ask. Okay, so on the religious theme, I was thinking I was Bullshitting with currently a day or two ago A little Improvisational you were talking about how Your final form is to be a mega church That's right you know Have your own congregation you know On some righteous gemstone shit That is that is true that is your final form Since you are such a Friend to the lgbtq Plus six seven Community as Your star continues to rise as the walls of homosexuality and heterosexuality and all that are crumbling, will at some point we see a super gay out mega church leader? And this question is all spurred because I thought of the phrase, wouldn't it be funny if a pastor was screaming, I bottom for the Lord?

51:21Chris Black:well jason i don't i i think that we need i think that that could happen but i think that the problem is that the gay community we obviously know the big problem the well the big problem is mainly the gay community has been uh i would say it's illegal to be gay and christian shunned by the church since the beginning of time so bringing them back over no matter how fabulous you know When Benito Skinner opens a church, I think maybe –

51:46Jason Stewart:Oh, he has such pastor energy, doesn't he?

51:48Chris Black:I think Benito could maybe get a congregation riled up.

51:52Jason Stewart:He's pastor-mogging me hard.

51:54Chris Black:But when they pass around the tithing bowl, is it going to be a circle jerk or is it going to be money? That's the tough question. How do you want to sort of – Is the tithing bowl simply full of cummies? It's a hard question. Is the tithing – more of a receptacle. What?

52:15Jason Stewart:Okay. No, the tithing bowl goes around. No loans refused. No loans refused. No loans refused, except for Discover card. Ew. No, it's only just the white Apple cards that just clink down like a little like a little speck of martini.

52:29Chris Black:Sweetie, sweetie, we do need a new bus for the youth congregation, but we do not accept Capital One. I'm so sorry.

52:36Jason Stewart:Are we doing a credit restoration program that's so big for you, but we don't accept that here. Yeah, we are cashless.

52:43Chris Black:It would be amazing to have a gay celebrity. Because then we could have the choir robes or J.W. Anderson. You know what I mean? Or it's like, we could do a pastor, what is he wearing? And it's like, oh my God. We identify, the way that I follow Harry Styles accounts that identify these.

53:08Jason Stewart:Nicky Campbell's like, love the scepter, hate the road.

53:11Chris Black:But I could just see it now. I could see it now. Also, the church, I mean, imagine the Emily Dawn Long collaboration merch on the way out. Oh, that's nice. There's so much. There is a lot of money to be made, I think, as a gay. Also, if you have the right venue, it's like, are we staging the Eckhouse Lada show at the church? Are we doing, you know, is Robin playing the retreat? like there's a lot to be done here where i think that it is and and gay guys more than anyone jack donaghy on the pipe organ i bet he's on the pipe organ jesus christ the pipe organ took on a whole new me took a whole new me but i think that the i think the gay community as much as they love money they've sort of forgotten about this they all work these you know they all work at you know at these nice corporate jobs.

54:01Chris Black:They're either on TV or they work at JP Morgan. And there's something in between where you don't have to be a content creator. You don't have to be a celebrity chef. You can be a man of the robe. You can be religious and you can sort of show them how it's done. You can flip it on its head and come at it from a whole new angle.

54:20Jason Stewart:I think their homosexual energy was clouding this revenue stream that was sitting right in front of their face the whole time. It was. Sometimes you miss the forest for the trees. When the dick is right in front of your face, you can't even see the balls.

54:33Chris Black:I think this is a great idea. Any powerful gay guys, if you want to get in touch with me to just talk about the church and kind of how it works.

54:40Jason Stewart:I'm glad we got clear audio of any powerful gay guys want to get in touch with me.

54:45Chris Black:Who your deacons would be. It's like, who are your deacons? Think of that as who's closing the fashion show. You know what I mean? Or who's, you know. And they can't be matches from Grindr. It has to be a little more above board.

55:01Jason Stewart:It has to be something that you bring home to meet the fam.

55:04Chris Black:Yeah, exactly. And don't think that all of the fucking has to stop. I want to be clear. Really? No, definitely not. I think this is a modern. Are you saying God likes to watch? I think God does like to watch. Historically.

55:17Jason Stewart:We are gathered here to see what outfit colors we are going to wear to the CDMX trip this weekend, y 'all.

55:25Chris Black:Can you just imagine how the blessing before dinner is going to change? You know what I mean? Like you said, how do you bless a bottom meal? You know what I mean?

55:41Jason Stewart:Lord, we are praying for season two of heated rivalry to get green lit. I know you are dealing with hardships and struggles right now. And Lord, we need you to solidify the deal. we need to get proper distribution.

55:55Chris Black:Yeah, I think there's a lot of stuff.

55:57Jason Stewart:And then blessing the bottom meal.

55:58Chris Black:I think a lot of stuff needs to be prayed on. And I think that we're missing a lot of it.

56:04Jason Stewart:He turned water. Jesus, he turned water into rush. Yeah, exactly. Before my very eyes.

56:10Chris Black:I feel the rush of Jesus. I like the idea that we've reframed it as Moses splitting the rush sea instead of the red sea. I think this could really I think this really could work Especially in New York or LA Or you know A major city Maybe we go international You know what I mean But I think that I think in LA In LA specifically I could really see Imagine Like a church pops up On Santa Monica You know they close the Ralphs And it's just a church now Yep And then after church You go to You know you go get a matcha It's all there It's you know It's all there It's really easy

56:46Jason Stewart:And then they have The matcha daytime church parties but instead of playing like justin bieber afro house remixes they're playing like vtss remixes of abracadabra yeah yeah they're playing like gasoffelstein but like

57:02Chris Black:the holy songs you know that's a good but like the good stuff and and and these are my kind of

57:08Jason Stewart:gays because these are the ones who are like you know i'm gay but i'm i am a churchgoer and that's Sam Smith. I just can't. It's so funny. Keep Sam out of my church. It's so funny.

57:18Chris Black:Get him out.

57:19Jason Stewart:I guess also speaking of bottoming, there's been some Epstein files being uncovered. Some of these files are recipes for Epstein's bottom meal muffins.

57:31Chris Black:Did you make the bottom meal muffin yet?

57:32Jason Stewart:I did not make the bottom meal muffins. I did see on Twitter there was a person who made them and wrote an honest review. Here's the recipe I made them. gave it a rating, here's the food, blah, blah, blah. And she was destroyed because people are saying, don't you know that these are the muffins that Epstein feeds children before raping them? Jesus Christ. Which I don't think is the case. I think he's just an old guy. It's a very old guy recipe. If you were a guy who grew up in the, you're pumping in the 80s and 90s, everyone was eating bran muffins. And as you get older, we got a shit.

58:08Chris Black:Luckily in the black house, it was blueberry only. That's why I was fat. But yeah.

58:12Jason Stewart:Yeah, so I am not going to make the Epstein muffins. And if I do, I will not be posting through it. That's for sure.

58:19Chris Black:Yeah, yeah. I'm sure somebody has already done this. I mean, I'm sure it's, you know, I'm sure. Oh, yeah. I'm sure there's some edge.

58:25Jason Stewart:There's going to be an underground network. I'll be live streaming my recipe on kick.

58:33Jason Stewart:Damn, what if there's like an alt-right Bon Appetit squad, kitchen squad?

58:38Chris Black:Oh, I think those are just guys in kitchens. I don't think there's that much of a difference.

58:42Jason Stewart:But I mean, instead of like Wajian lesbians making miso goju jang brand muffins, it's like Jeffrey Starr and Milo Iannopoulos. And we're like, we're going to show you, I'm going to teach you how to puke in a sink.

59:01Chris Black:Thanks so much for joining us today in the test kitchen. Today I'm going to teach you how to, I mean, Jeffrey Starr could do a whole video on how to make anything with nails like that. and I think a lot of people would tune in. Oh, yeah. Imagine Jeffrey Starr in a test kitchen with like a nine millimeter on his little hips and he's got fucking -

59:18Jason Stewart:It's a Hello Kitty nine millimeter? Yeah, he's got a Hello Kitty nine millimeter with seven inch press on nails trying to knead dough. That's, I mean - We're going to make French fries and that really fucks it up. Like something so easy, stupid.

59:33Chris Black:Oh, good God. Good God.

59:36Jason Stewart:Okay, we got a few more. Casey Wasserman the guy who owns Wasserman Talent Agency, a big talent agency a lot of musicians on there he's also on the Olympic Committee in LA he's being asked to resign because he was sexting G-Max while he was married about how those massages are hidden and people are starting to leave the agency, a friend of the show DJ Salute I think you met him at Charlie's wedding he's leaving and a bunch of other people are leaving which does take some balls to leave your agency as a busy DJ. What do you think about all this?

1:00:12Chris Black:I mean, as I've said a million times, you trace anything to the top and it's going to be bad. And I mean, I think that...

1:00:20Jason Stewart:Not our agency, CAA, though.

1:00:22Chris Black:Of course not. No, of course not. That's different. I mean, I think that... I don't know. I'm not super familiar with what Casey Wasserman actually did besides be on emails.

1:00:33Jason Stewart:He was sexting and hanging out with and seemingly fucking Ghislaine Maxwell, which is what we know. So who knows what we don't know? You know what I mean?

1:00:47Chris Black:Okay. All right. But fucking Ghislaine, that's just a certain taste. You know what I mean? That's two adults.

1:00:55Jason Stewart:Obviously, these are two consenting adults, so there's no legal issue in terms of children's stuff. but I think more so, you know, it's just like, oh, no, no, no. I didn't kill anyone. I was just fucking Charles Manson. It's bad. Look, it's bad. What are you talking about?

1:01:07Chris Black:It's bad. Okay, you're all good. It's also like, bro, if you're going to represent Best Coast, you better believe she's going to fucking leave if you're in the Epstein emails. You know what I mean? Like, that's a reasonable – like, the kind of artists that you're representing are going to fucking leave. They're going to make a stink about it because that's what you built your brand on was sort of this indie –

1:01:25Jason Stewart:Okay, so Best Coast might leave, but John Summit's probably going to be okay. He's probably not going to move. John Summitt doesn't even know who his agent is.

1:01:32Chris Black:He doesn't know. He's like, oh, cool, man. I think that that guy is definitely bad. I think the degrees of it are going to be determined. But I think that if you don't like – I mean, I think it's – you know what it is? I'll say this. I think it's the kind of thing where you can make your statement and leave and feel good about it and also go get another agent to do that job relatively easily. So it's kind of the perfect, like, you know what? I don't fuck with this guy. Maybe I never fucked with this guy, but I thought I wasn't empowered enough to leave and go do something. But it's sort of like all these Washington Post layoffs.

1:02:07Chris Black:It's like the good people are just going to go get jobs, and everybody else isn't. It's like you're going to be fine.

1:02:13Jason Stewart:So to distill your thoughts, the Epstein file release was a positive thing for giving some people the strength to leave a toxic agency representation.

1:02:24Chris Black:Well, I just think it's like you actually know. I mean, it's one thing to be like, I don't like this guy.

1:02:28Jason Stewart:Epstein equals empowering. I get it.

1:02:30Chris Black:I think that's cool. It's one thing to be like, I don't like this guy. It's also like, when's the last time anybody was actually dealing with him? It's probably been a very long time. Of course. You know? Of course. But I'm sure.

1:02:39Jason Stewart:But, you know, it's just like when his name is the name, you know, really kind of hammers it home versus like, you know, Netflix is owned by a guy, but his name isn't Netflix.

1:02:51Chris Black:I didn't even know about the Olympics. I think of Wasserman as like an indie, you know, like an indie booking agent. I didn't even know about the Olympic stuff. I didn't know about the sports stuff. I knew it was bigger now, but I had no idea. I had no idea.

1:03:03Jason Stewart:Yeah, they're big because I think they represent like the LA Coliseum where the 84 LA Olympics were. No, it's big. I think they have some big ties. But also, you know, I think it was Adam Carolla actually who would say like never – when your kids are in school and they say who's going to volunteer to babysit the kids this weekend on the little camping trip, the first dad who raises his hand, don't pick him kind of thing. and whoever wants to volunteer to be on the Olympic Committee, you just can't trust whatever that person's up to. That's a job that nobody should want to do unless they have sinister motives, I would say.

1:03:41Chris Black:No, that's true. The guy's bad. I mean, leave. If it's not going to immediately negatively impact how you're going to feed your family, get the fuck out of there. Who gives a fuck? These guys, there's plenty of places to go. There's plenty of places to go.

1:03:57Jason Stewart:That's right. Yeah, shout out to Best Coast ex-guest. Let's see. I guess that's pretty much it. What are you going to do for the Super Bowl? What are you ordering? You're not going to cook. You're probably just going to order in.

1:04:13Chris Black:I don't know what I'm going to do. There's options, but I'm trying to. Well, we have options? Well, yeah. Is there a viewing party at the Bodie store? What's going on? There's a viewing party. It's Oscar De La Renta and Puck are hosting a viewing party, which is the one of the funniest sentences i've ever said but i don't know it's cold enough like i'm usually like last night we went to alex and i went to dinner with our my friend michelle and her boyfriend ben and like it was fucked up cold you know and we get to the restaurant and it's packed so it's sort of like i'm i mean i feel like i don't know what i want to do i can brave the cold i cannot brave the cold but i have a big week kind of and i i don't really i don't really Sunday night is a tough one to hit the town.

1:04:56Jason Stewart:Yeah, I don't think you should. I think Sunday night is about staying at home with your squad.

1:05:01Chris Black:I agree.

1:05:02Jason Stewart:Just nothing but you, your wife, and a 75-inch Samsung flat screen. And it's going to take ordering anything. Playing Trump RX ads while you eat onion dip.

1:05:14Chris Black:Anything. I mean, I was hoping to get an invite to Joe Budden's house, but once again, I've been passed over. Imagine that platter.

1:05:20Jason Stewart:Imagine getting a plate at Joe Budden's Super Bowl party.

1:05:23Chris Black:well he makes it i mean he makes his own chicken dip and they say it's fire joe budden chicken dip this is like a little buffalo dip i guess we need to get the if anybody from the joe budden team is

1:05:32Jason Stewart:listening please send jason the recipe files should have joe budden's buffalo hot wing dip

1:05:38Chris Black:in there that'd be nice we need to get that recipe we need to leak it um how long gone thank you for listening we're back next week with uh more podcasts we have a another uh video installment coming soon jason was in the lab yesterday yeah it should be this week i was i was in the lab

1:05:52Jason Stewart:getting the edit on i was i was all up in adobe premiere pro all day yesterday creating gold that did not need to be created we're using ai a little bit chris we're making you look different

1:06:04Chris Black:your face and your body i hope you make me look like bad bunny wearing a beanie with horns that's what i'm trying to kind of go for as as i move forward i don't know i don't know if i don't know if you're gonna like it but we'll see i mean i don't like anything your the body is t but the

1:06:18Jason Stewart:face changes well i don't want to but yeah so keep keep your eyes peeled we'll be releasing the a really funny great video piece soon some and a a quite a diverse cast of podcast friends on the show this week i'm quite looking forward to it hope everyone has a dope sunday dope sunday

1:06:36Chris Black:um i don't who are you betting on for this football who did you what did you do with your bookie i got 10k on seahawks okay 10k on seahawks all right put me down for a hundred uh all right thanks for listening uh howlonggone.com we'll see you soon bye-bye

1:07:13Jason Stewart:But what I wanted to tell you is that my daughter is a student, a semester, a laptop, a software, a computer, a computer, a computer, so a master is really cheap. Say her, she can get it back. You mean from the Steuer to set up, but she doesn't pay. No, it's a failure. She makes it simple with Visa Steuer. And if she works then, it's kaching. That's it? Safe. Visa Steuer. Hol her your money back. Now, try it out.