906. - Chris & Jason

6:08Chris Black:romantic. He's a romantic. One of my favorite singers, Tank. It was invented by Trey Songz. The ghost of Trey Songz. I love Trigger Trey. Now, Trigger Trey is alive and well. Don't do that to my man. He's doing 100 push-ups before he goes on stage right now somewhere in Jakarta. Trying to get that. Trying to get a little check.

6:24Jason Stewart:Well, I thought he was in jail getting

6:26Chris Black:stabbed. Why? Because he stole your bitch? No, no. Trigger Trey is out, bro. Don't do that.

6:31Jason Stewart:Okay. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I was getting Trey songs confused with Tory Lanez. My bad, my bad.

6:36Chris Black:Tory Lanez, well, it's because you've been reading DJ Vlad's post about how Roc Nation... That's right. It's so cool because I don't think people realize that he's obviously joking. He's obviously basically saying everything that everyone's ever said to him in one post as if it were true. You think he's obviously joking about all of this? I mean, pull it up.

7:00Jason Stewart:Okay, DJ Vlad, who's like a... I mean, if you don't know who DJ Vlad is, you can turn this off right now. I'm explaining who this person is to the hot people who listen to our podcast, okay? All the uglies, you already know who DJ Vlad is. I have a confession. Rock Nation has been paying me to support Megan, the stallion, I'm assuming. They also paid off all the jury members to convict Tori. They bribed the judge, too. Jay-Z did a verse for his grandson's new album. They paid off. Come on. That's obviously a joke Jay-Z doing a verse for a grandson's album I don't know anything about DJ Vlad Except everyone seems to hate him He's like a white academics of some sort He's not white What is he?

7:46Chris Black:He looks like Rabbi Shmuley in the fucking photo I don't know who that is Come on bro I really don't know who that is

7:52Jason Stewart:Isn't he like Russian? He looks kind of like a Russian Jew

7:55Chris Black:DJ Vlad Ukrainian American

8:00Jason Stewart:Close call Okay, they paid off Megan's doctors to lie about the bullet fragments. She was never shot. The LA police are on Jay-Z's payroll. It doesn't stop with LA. But you're not ready to hear that part. I can't.

8:13Chris Black:There's too much of this.

8:14Jason Stewart:We're halfway through. The Mexican guy who stabbed Tory in jail, who do you think paid him to do that? You already know the answer. The three Supreme Court judges who denied Tory's appeal all paid off by the Rock Mafia. Jay-Z also paid Donald Trump not to pardon Tory even though it's a state case he can only pardon federal cases even though Jay was not taking any chances because knowing Trump he likes to bend the rules I can't keep these lies a secret anymore if this is my last tweet you know who silenced me so if you're saying this is obviously a joke I just didn't know that Vlad was if this is a joke this is sort of like stone faced pure deadpan satire on a on a high level no look he may be there's no there's no winking at all maybe look maybe he's being serious it's a joke to me this tweet has 7.3 million views of course

9:10Chris Black:it does but that's like i mean some of this is i i just don't i just don't think jay-z did a verse for a judge's grandson that honestly that's the one that i believe the least of this that seems

9:22Jason Stewart:It seems like the one that feels very easily researchable. Yeah, that is. And where you can verify the authenticity of these statements pretty quickly by checking that one fact, I guess.

9:33Chris Black:I mean, Vlad is a real shit star. I mean, he's academic. It's the same shit. It's just like dumbasses talking to the camera. But Vlad does some dramatic interview, 60-minute style in his mind, more than big ack in his little legs. Yes. But we should talk about

9:50Jason Stewart:We have a very important sit down We have a four part sit down Serial expose with Plaque Boy Max

9:56Chris Black:He wishes he could get Plaque Boy Max He wishes he could get Plaque Boy Max We should talk about J. Cole though Because I think that J. Cole Driving around in a Honda Civic And selling CDs Is one of the Why does he want to pretend that he's poor so bad? Like what do you think is What do you think this is Because he said this is his last album Thank God but he's driving around in a Honda Civic like it's back in the day and he's selling his mixtape out of the trunk when he's a, I don't know, probably a hundred millionaire depending on the day of the week.

10:30Jason Stewart:You already know J. Cole World is responsible with his money. He's not blowing it on mink coats and steak bets.

10:37Chris Black:No, no, he would never do that. So I'm just wondering what... Steak the app, not the food. Like it's cool that people are falling for it though. It's shocking to me how dumb it is but people seem to be showing up. He's playing basketball with strangers. Do you think he has security with him or do you think he's such a lo-fi beats to study to? It's all good because the fans are just...

10:58Jason Stewart:I think he's got a couple OGs. I'm assuming Cole keeps his circle small. You feel me? You already know small circle, no chicks, no checks. There are no chicks.

11:10Chris Black:There are no chicks around J. Cole.

11:12Jason Stewart:Cole world, small circle, no hoes.

11:16Chris Black:You go to a J. Cole show, the only women that are there are there to twist his locks. They are not there to – they're working. It's crazy. I just don't understand.

11:26Jason Stewart:Do you think the bartenders and the lock twisters ever link up? I digress. Okay, so what I think is going on is many, many artists, once they reach sort of the end of their career, whether they have chosen the ending line or the world has chosen it for them.

11:44Chris Black:To be clear, he's bigger than he ever has been. He did 300 ,000 first week of this album, which is, in this day and age, that's huge.

11:53Jason Stewart:Huge. And he's independent. He's doing it without rock mafia. Or maybe he is. I have no idea. But all that is to say, not a guy who gets a ton of radio play and club play. It's just like, it's the heads really loving and supporting. But I think whenever you reach that end of your career and you're like, my life is crazy, you look back on it like damn like what is this and then you start thinking about you know i want to go back to the og time you know and bands and artists and actors and everyone will do this of like i lost my mojo i lost my inspo i lost myself i have to get back to the original thing i'm gonna buy my old honda civic back that i used to drive around you know i'm sure drake is gonna start doing this eventually as well like i want to be clear i want to be clear j j cole did put some

12:41Chris Black:new 15 you know some rock for some some subs in there though he didn't leave it he didn't keep

12:45Jason Stewart:it i'm i'm getting reports that he also may have modified the suspension for a smoother ride but since he's going from state to state it is a longer journey you cannot quote me on that please do not quote me on that but yes and i also heard there are rumors trickling in that he upgraded the the apple car play with the oh he absolutely he absolutely has apple car play there's no way it pains me to say this so i think he's like okay i need to go back to what it felt like when i was happy sure and like on the cut you know well what's the don draper line you only like the beginning of things he wants to go back to the beginning when it was cool and fun and exciting and hopeful and not when you have a hundred million dollars and everyone in the world

13:29Chris Black:constantly makes fun of you i mean he is you know what i mean but i mean i guess yeah no i of course I mean, I just think that the issue is that will never work for anyone. There's absolutely no way to replicate the feeling of being on the verge of massive success. Once you've reached massive success, there's no way. There has to be a situation where someone has done it, right? No, it's impossible. How could you? That's why everybody's first record is usually their best. Because it's their life's work and it's everything was poured into it.

14:00Jason Stewart:And then after that, you know. I spent my entire life writing my first book and I spent nine months writing my second type shit.

14:05Chris Black:Yeah, it just doesn't make sense. It just doesn't, I just don't think this is, well, this isn't even about music though. This is like performative marketing. That's what's even more confusing about it. It's not like he, he did this. He went and like lived in a basement to get back in the zone to make this music. He's, he's just doing this to sell the music, which means, which feels a little bit more disingenuous than being like, I'm going to go back to my parents' house to try to recapture the feeling so I can write music or whatever. This feels, this feels strictly like a marketing tool.

14:32Jason Stewart:We're going, we're going back to Ian McKay's porch. Exactly. Because these walls have magic in them or whatever. Exactly. Or Green Day is going to go back to Gilman Street for a freaking live show brought to you by Salesforce or all that stuff.

14:46Chris Black:You saw that Jimmy World was playing at a Taco Bell, I think?

14:50Jason Stewart:Exactly. They're going back to their little fat-ass roots, back to when they had the little cinnamon twisters on deck.

14:55Chris Black:Jimmy World, you guys got some slaps. That is one of the ugliest posters I've ever seen in my entire life for that tour.

15:01Jason Stewart:Yeah, you can - Unbelievable. You should look up. I saw it on Twitter. It's a Jimmy Eat World tour poster, and it's meant to look like a 50s or 60s cigarette dispensing machine that you'd see at the drive-in or the sock hop or something. And it's so bad that AI couldn't have done it, is the only way I can put it. And I'm sure whoever made it is listening to this podcast right now, and I am sorry.

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16:41Chris Black:Try ShipStation free for 60 days with full access to all features. No credit card needed. Go to ShipStation.com and use code HOWLONG for 60 days free. 60 days gives you plenty of time to see exactly how much time and money you're saving on every shipment. That's ShipStation.com, code HOWLONG, ShipStation.com, code HOWLONG. I'm spending hella cash, Jason. It just comes in and it goes out. I got to start paying more attention. There's pressure on me from everyone in my life to get it together. And thank God for Rocket Money. It helps me manage my finances. It gets rid of all these pesky subscriptions that I'm not using.

17:14Chris Black:And I just need help. And I think Rocket Money is the best service to keep my pockets fat.

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18:32Chris Black:that tour but that tour is pretty stacked if you're a certain age and of a certain i think

18:37Jason Stewart:i think some dates they're headlining some dates they're opening for motion city soundtrack no no

18:43Chris Black:they're not opening they're not opening for that fucking shit band no i don't know i don't know i don't know this i got b i got beef you don't have you have beef with motion city soundtrack they

18:51Jason Stewart:don't know it but oh i know that they're playing shows with motion city soundtrack yeah i mean look so motion you're saying mcs is opening for definitely for that oh yeah okay yeah mcs i

19:03Chris Black:want to be mcs we did some shut when i was working with cartel we did some shows with mcs and they told their agent afterwards that they couldn't tour with cartel because we quote unquote partied too much okay and i i was like you absolute pussies what is the point of this we are on

19:22Jason Stewart:warp tour for christ's sake are you in motion city but you ain't got no motion no motion exactly

19:26Chris Black:there's zero motion they have a couple they have a couple slaps though i'm going to be honest with you but this tour no this tour they got a cup they got a couple no there's there's some really

19:35Jason Stewart:special lineups okay for some of the dates this is good get up kids sunny day and jimmy world like Like that's good. That's emo Mount Rushmore shit. That's shitting on Hey Mercedes and Thrice in Philly. Shouse goes out to you guys over there. And then unfortunately, many of the dates in the Pacific Northwest are with Motion City Soundtrack and a band called the Illuminati Hotties.

19:58Chris Black:People really like that band. I've never heard them. Who is Jay Som? Can you help me out with that? Because he feels like not a rock artist. I don't know who that is. You don't know who J... That seems like some shit. I've heard the name.

20:13Jason Stewart:I've heard the name, but I don't know nothing about it.

20:15Chris Black:I know you got a white label from Turntable Lab somewhere. That's what it sounds like to me. Oh, no, it's not at all. Okay, hold on. I know a lot of Psalms. J-SOM is a stage name for Molina May Cortez Duterte, American singer, starter, multi-intermittals producer, and mixing engineer initially. Oh, okay. This is actually in... Oh, this is on polyvinyl. I'm going to check this shit out. Well, well, well. I honestly thought J-SOM the whole time was some fucking lo-fi beats. Not to say it again, but some lo-fi beats to study to type shit. Okay, see what happens when you assume? People also search for Jim Atkins, Hayley Williams, Lucy Dacus, Phoebe Bridgers.

20:51Chris Black:So maybe I would like this.

20:52Jason Stewart:There's some blackbait right here. But the real heads are going to go to the Texas shows Sparta and Minus the Bear.

20:59Chris Black:Bro, get the fuck out of here. this is no i would honestly if i was a little chicago at the huntington park huntington bank pavilion at northerly island that's a mouthful venue we got a real estate get up kids that's sunday real estate get up kids jimmy world is a goaded lineup i i agree with you

21:18Jason Stewart:try and be okay we can't talk about this anymore i we're scaring the hose i can't say hot mulligan out loud no you can't that's what's my well what scares the hose more jimmy world or jay cole great question oh great question oh i mean definitely j cole because i found out about jimmy world

21:33Chris Black:because of hers that's yeah that's true that's true one of the one of the great that they're one of the great crossover listening to the first jimmy on the way to disneyland it's tough because when i hear jimmy i think of john the sandwich artist who's your top jimmy jimmy stewart okay jimmy stewart i hear jimmy john you hear jimmy stewart there's jimmy world there's there's Friend of the show, Jimmy Stack. Are there other Jimmies that come to mind? Jimmy Jolliff? Jimmy Jolliff, yes. I'm thinking of all the Jimmies. I don't really know. My Uncle Jimmy, of course, famously kicked by a horse. Live to tell the tale.

22:09Jason Stewart:Do you know where your Uncle Jimmy, the good brother, Uncle Jimmy Black, got kicked by a horse? What part of his body?

22:18Chris Black:I didn't tell you the story. He told me. Maybe. It sounds roughly familiar. We were at this family reunion, and he was like, he's wearing an apple watch and he's bitching about it he's like in his 80s it's like yeah my fucking grandkids made me get this stupid ass watch because they have to keep track of me because i got kicked by a horse and and it like it's it like alerted like alerted people because he got kicked by the horse because he was like down for so okay okay he was complaining about it i i know

22:46Jason Stewart:that people that old old hoes stay winning with the apple watch because it'll it's like the lot It's the new version of the life lock where if you take a tumble, it has haptic technology that knows when you took a tumble and it can alert your loved ones. So does that mean that – I'm just assuming your Uncle Jimmy, whenever he got kicked by a horse, this happened sometime in Dwight Eisenhower era.

23:11Chris Black:No, this happened in the last year, two years, three at the minimum.

23:15Jason Stewart:I'm sorry for laughing at an 80-year-old person getting kicked by a horse. He's fine. I mean, he's always had horses. Jimmy, I guess that's my problem for assuming that this is a bygone situation to have yourself in.

23:31Chris Black:He's more of like a I got a farm horses. He's not more like a Mary-Kate and Ashley show jumping horses kind of guy. So I think he's out there.

23:41Jason Stewart:I didn't think your Uncle Jimmy was hanging out with Prince Andrew and the Queen over at the -

23:47Chris Black:Well, it sounded like you were trying to put him in the files. and I just want to be clear that no members of the black family are in the files.

23:53Jason Stewart:No, no, no. I think this was – he went out, he heard a rooster crowing, and he brought his moonshine jug out and see what the tussle is down in the barn, and he bent over and spooked old – what's a good horse name for Uncle Jimmy? I don't know any horses. He spooked old Petunia, and wouldn't you know if she just went,

24:13Chris Black:reared back and kicked him right in the keister, fell down. But he's fine. I just love that that's the best reason for not liking Apple Watch is that you don't want anybody to keep track of you just in case you get hurt.

24:24Jason Stewart:Got this gay ass watch. My gay ass kids telling me I got to wear this. That's literally the vibe.

24:30Chris Black:That was literally the vibe.

24:31Jason Stewart:He's got the white plastic band on it.

24:34Chris Black:Because I feel like he, I don't, I mean, I feel like, I mean, we grew up going to his house pretty often, but I don't remember him being like a watch. You know, I don't think he had like the Rolex or anything. So I feel like this was also a whole new.

24:44Jason Stewart:This is actually the grand psycho.

24:47Chris Black:I'm just saying this might be his first watch. Or his first watch in a long time. Imagine that. Imagine what that would be like. He was born before World War II and this is his first watch. Yeah, I mean, I wish. Yeah, I mean, I imagine. It's like getting out of jail and getting a cell phone. You've been in jail for 30 years. You don't realize what's happening.

25:05Jason Stewart:Yeah, I'm seeing a little bit of rapper Max B on Twitter. where he's had, you know, since he's been in jail for whatever it is, 15 years or something, his tweets are just like, damn, this is like this now. Yeah, yeah, it's funny. I mean... Y 'all white people be celebrating Valentine's Day than a motherfucker. It's every single... Max B, things have changed.

25:25Chris Black:Every single thing is like that. But 15 years is a long time.

25:28Jason Stewart:He's like, did you know there was a flood in Hurricane Katrina? Did you see this?

25:32Chris Black:I was going to ask you because people are... I'm seeing online that besides the Epstein files and clavicular... The only other thing I'm seeing is sort of, there's sort of, I feel like the tides are turning on Wheezy F Baby, Lil Wayne, your favorite rapper. I feel like people are saying, yeah, he's good, but like he didn't, he ain't ever say shit, basically. Which is not an issue for me personally, but have you seen this line of thinking?

25:59Jason Stewart:He ain't ever say shit, as in he's a great rapper,

26:02Chris Black:but like the... It's not aging well because the lyrical content is so stupid. Okay, okay.

26:11Jason Stewart:You know, aging well is obviously in the eye of the beholder. And, like, honestly, what rap lyrics really do age well except for, like, old head stuff? Because I don't think rap is meant to age well. I love how present it is and how of the times it is and how ephemeral it is.

26:31Chris Black:I think that's a fairer. I'm surprised that people are saying. I mean, I guess it's because he also had that stupid tweet after the Grammys that was like, I got to work harder. like they're not it's like bro you haven't put out a good album in 15 years i don't think it's i think it's kind of like your grammy era might be a rap you know yeah i mean it's a rap for him

26:49Jason Stewart:he obviously has smoked himself quite stupid you know back and forth a thousand times over uh but he has a lot of money you know he's a 45 year old four foot 11 dude i feel like he might not

27:05Chris Black:have a lot of money i think he's doing okay i think he's doing just i mean he sold the catalog so he's okay but imagine what wayne's overhead is bro yeah but he does like i don't know if he

27:13Jason Stewart:has a lot of kids like i think he kind of keeps his head down just the only he just smokes weed and wears free clothes that are the ugliest shit you've ever seen he's probably got a nice little like eight million dollar house somewhere in florida he's probably living large all he wants to do is watch sports center he's chilling and he does not need to rap anymore like i said it's a it's a young person's game and it should stay that way he's only got four kids he only has four kids

27:38Chris Black:That's not bad. He only has four kids, which is –

27:40Jason Stewart:For a person his age, Stefan Diggs had six kids last year with five different women. Wayne is twice his age.

27:48Chris Black:Leave Diggs out of this, bro. Diggs is having a hard time. That's fine. Didn't he get dropped? Did he get dropped by the Patriots? I don't know. It's tough out here for him.

27:56Jason Stewart:Yeah, don't get caught up messing with Cardi. Don't get caught up. An update coming in live, coming in, an update on your DJ Vlad scenario. DJ Academics has chimed in 30 minutes ago. He's going to go live at 2 p.m. It's about time the truth is revealed. I'm telling everything I know about all these industry secrets. This is what I'm saying. Academics, I have one question for you. Is that 2 p.m. Eastern or is it Pacific?

28:26Chris Black:This is my whole point. This is what I was saying about the Epstein stuff. This is what's starting. This is already. Do you see? Remember when I said everybody's going to think everything is conspiracy theory? This is part of it. I mean, this has been going on for a long time, but this is, I think the chatter is heating up because it's now, we're in the season of this. This is the new thing that people care about now. Everything has to be, you know, everything has to be Pam Bondi. So you're saying it's conspiracy season spelled with no vowels? I just think that there's, I just think that this is what I said was going to happen.

28:56Chris Black:And not that Vlad academics haven't been doing this for 10 years, but it's just, you know, it feels like an upward trend is all I'm saying. It feels like a trend.

29:04Jason Stewart:It feels like a trend in that, you know, these guys report on news going on with these celebs and rappers and whatever. And then when that sort of runs out or all the people they're talking about go into secrecy and everyone is living their weird post-COVID private life, they have to start creating inter-beef drama with their compatriots. Adam 22 has to box academics and they have to... So now it's turning into like a Chinese micro drama, but Twitter hip hop beef. If I have to hear, dude, I fucking, all right.

29:39Chris Black:I hear about micro drama. I see it on my podcast thing from, from Bellamy. Then I'm at the gym on the treadmill. I look up and like New York one's doing, I'm like, who is doing PR for micro dramas? This is insane. It was on the news. It was on. And I'm like, this is not, this is just TikTok videos with a plot. This isn't like, I don't understand what the, what there is to unpack really.

29:59Jason Stewart:This is Quibi without the union fees.

30:01Chris Black:Yeah, I just don't really get it. It's like, yeah, okay, every episode's 90 seconds, and there's like 100 episodes, and it makes it. I was just like, okay. It's just a new format of a soap opera. No, I get that, but I thought there was going to be something. I thought there was going to be some insane financial figures at the end. You know what I mean? Where it's like, oh, this shit, you wouldn't even. And it's sort of like, yeah, it's good.

30:22Jason Stewart:No, I think the insane figure is how cheap it is to make and how the profit margin. It's kind of like penny stocks of the entertainment industry. It's just like very similar to DJ Vlad and DJ Academics saying like, yo, it's time to reveal the truth. We're going, you know, blah, blah. It's the equivalent of realizing that if you scrape the resin out of your bong, you can get a little high off of it. It's the equivalent of like, oh, if we short this random thing, then maybe we can make 17 bucks on it or whatever. It's sort of the scraping the resin bowl of culture.

31:04Chris Black:Yeah, but it's being pushed in a way that feels like they really want it to be the future in some regard. And I don't think that is going to happen.

31:12Jason Stewart:I don't know if anyone wants it to be the future, but it feels like in a world where there's nothing going on and there's no clear way out, it's at least something you can do to have some sort of profit. it and i think they're they're projecting that as as our phone use gets more addictive and our attention span gets more eviscerated by all of this this is going to be not the new standard that replaces long form film but it's going to be something that sits alongside it and if you don't start making money off of it now then you know it's just another little revenue stream that you're leaving on the table and i think the sad part is that these people that are doing it it's like we they i on the bell in the episode like the actors are getting like five hundred dollars a day i mean we're working like 12 hour days on these things that get millions of views and it's it's

32:03Chris Black:kind of like oh here we go again once again don't do it if you don't want to get paid that much why do why does this come if you don't want to get paid 500 for doing a micro drama for 12 hours

32:13Jason Stewart:then don't do that no well the issue is we've got all these actors that want to be famous and they're willing to do anything but then what if the thing that you're willing to do becomes the standard and nothing else you know like if we no longer need the tom hankses and the scarlett johanssons and our true movie stars to move films if it doesn't matter because the budget for this film was$2 ,500 and if we make five grand then we've doubled our profit even though we only made five grand then we don't need if we just do a billion micro dramas then we we don't all we no longer need it if everyone will just we gotta get we gotta get realistic we gotta get realistic like

32:54Chris Black:we gotta get realistic this is not gonna be a thing it's gonna this is internet content i don't want it to be rebranded i've never watched a micro drama somebody has rebranded this and it does okay and now because of the the press cycle it's made to be a thing and it's not a thing it's like Like, everybody, every time the Winter Olympics comes around, everybody. Talk your shit, Chris. Everybody gets into their, have you seen curling? It's so crazy. It's like a guy that works at a tire store. It's fucking crazy. Curling? Have you seen it?

33:25Jason Stewart:I just watched Luge, and I'm pretty sure I could just lay down on the sled, too.

33:31Chris Black:I swear to God, if I hear one more person talk about curling, it's stupid. It's not entertaining. You can't like that.

33:38Jason Stewart:curling has been a random funny thing since we've been alive and every four years i mean you know but also just like everything else you know bell bottoms or j cole there's a there's a sucker born every day and every four years there's a new group of people who are like um how is this a sport it's

33:55Chris Black:making me crazy did you watch um did you watch love story yet the the the jfk jr carolyn beset

34:03Jason Stewart:No, I didn't know it was out yet.

34:05Chris Black:Yeah, it's out. I'm too busy being the GOAT. Yeah, that's what you're doing. You know, it's fine. They look good. Is it scratch an itch? Did it okay? I mean, I think it does for some people. I don't really understand. I think it's getting billed as like a Ryan Murphy thing, which it sort of is, but I think he's just the executive producer. I don't think he wrote it or directed it. I think he's just the executive producer, which is like - It doesn't have the Murphy stink on it? Oh, I wouldn't say that, but it's not that bad. It's just sort of like the first episode is pretty good, and then it kind of goes.

34:40Chris Black:But I think also JFK Jr., as hot as he was and as cool as he was, he might have been a little bit of a dumb-dumb. And I think that that -

34:49Jason Stewart:A handsome, waspy person that was put into political power is a dumb-dumb?

34:53Chris Black:I mean, if political power is having a magazine, yes. I mean, I just think that the reality of it, I think you don't want to hear him talk and that's the problem with the show. The images are so amazing and so good that if we left it at that.

35:11Jason Stewart:So it's a boner killer.

35:13Chris Black:Don't open your mouth hottie. Well in the first episode they like they meet each other at this gala and it's sort of like they're really like kind of negging each other. They're like really going back and forth like flirting and it's just like I don't this is not I don't think people really talk like this. You know it's a little it's like that kind of thing but I think it'll be quite popular. I mean, people... Nice shoes, bitch. It's almost that. It's not that bad, but it is that kind of like... She's trying to neg him for being JFK Jr., which is sort of like, yeah, okay. And he's like dating Daryl Hannah.

35:44Chris Black:It's this whole... But I don't know. Do they have like the Waspy New England accents? Well, she's not that. He has... No. I mean, the woman who plays Jackie...

35:54Jason Stewart:I guess he was a little more Manhattan than New England, but I just want all the Kennedys to have a little bit of that twang, right? Who plays? I guess RFK doesn't really have that twang. He's got a whole other kind of twang.

36:07Chris Black:Oh, Naomi Watts. Naomi Watts plays Jackie Kennedy and she definitely has the... I saw Naomi Watts was there last night. She's looking good. She's a master actor, so she can do it. She is a master actor, but I think that's the thing. I think they got people they wouldn't have normally gotten for a show like this because of the subject matter. It's like people have been trying... I'm sure this has been floating around in some regard or version for years and years.

36:28Jason Stewart:We've been trying to get this thing across the line, and it's a shame that only Murphy can do it nowadays, huh? I mean, I don't... It's very cash rules everything around me.

36:36Chris Black:Yeah, but like, whatever. Everything's bad. Who cares? I don't know. It's on TV. I'd rather watch Love is Blind when they're in Ohio. That's more entertaining. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by our old buddies over at Squarespace. Jason, let's build a damn website. Am I right? If you're operating in any facet of business in 2026, the portal to your world is on the World Wide Web, and Squarespace can help you get there. With all of their great features, they can do everything from design. They can implement SEO tools. You can get a custom domain. You can accept donations. You can post videos.

37:14Chris Black:What more do you need? You got to be online. You got to have a website. Squarespace can help you do the best job at that.

37:22Jason Stewart:You can do the best job at that, Chris, and it has all of the services you need to get paid all in one place. Let's say you're doing consultations, you're doing events, you're doing experiences. Maybe you're a wedding photographer and you want to upload all your pics on the back end. You want to do some donations for what you're up to. get paid on time with professional on-brand invoicing as well as online payments. Streamline your workflow with built-in appointment scheduling as well as email marketing tools. It's time we took a second look at Squarespace, Chris.

37:58Chris Black:So head to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, you use offer code howlong to save 10 % off your first purchase of a website or domain. All right. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Factor. Jason, the days are cold, the goals are big, and I don't have any time to cook. Luckily, Factor makes healthy eating easy with fully prepared meals designed by dietitians and crafted by chefs. So you can eat well without any of that pesky planning or cooking.

38:27Jason Stewart:Yeah, Chris, I love to cook. But, you know, as the days get busier, the grind gets grindier. Sometimes I don't always have time to prepare a delicious meal for my family. And, you know, when you're busy or stressed out, you're hungry, you're hangry, it's easy to reach for some dumb fast food or eat something that you're going to regret. That's why I like, I like using factor so I can get a nice healthy meal, colorful veggies, whole foods, no refined sugar, sweeteners, no weird seed oils, no questioning, you know, where this stuff came from. It's all coming from great places. The calories are low.

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39:58Jason Stewart:Shorty eat like a pro.

40:02Chris Black:I feel like we have to talk about, I don't want to do this, but I feel like we have to talk about Clavvy. Because it's just, it's unfortunately what people want. And I feel like what the streets is talking about.

40:14Jason Stewart:Well, I mean, before we talk about it, let's talk about why the streets want it so much. Like why did last episode, we say we're never going to clav again. And then yet here we are. We keep crawling back to the bucket for a few more licks of the slapper.

40:32Chris Black:What I think it's funny is that people are mad about the New York Times story, like platforming him. I'm like, dude, I don't know if you read this, but it's not some glowing glaze of this guy. It's just like a reported story about an idiot.

40:49Jason Stewart:Yeah, so what's worse, people having these thoughts or people saying, how dare you platform this Nazi monster without reading the story? Or what's worse, them not reading the story or them reading the story and not being able to understand that it is not a glaze-a-thon?

41:04Chris Black:I think you've got to read this story. I mean, I just think it's like, I think the guy is pretty, I mean, obviously the extreme levels that he's willing to go to do things and talking so openly about drug use is interesting, you know? but he's dumb as a fucking rock it's like it's just not that he's not going to say anything that's going to like what he does is shocking and that's why people are paying attention what he says is not important because he has

41:31Jason Stewart:nothing to say oh okay okay so he's just kind of like this this vessel a skin suit roaming around the world saying awful things but people don't even it doesn't register he's so unhuman and like synthetic that whenever he's saying these awful crazy things it doesn't like register with

41:51Chris Black:us but he's not even but he's not even no no he's not he's saying nothing he just says like nazi you know what i mean he doesn't say he's not like he can't he can't produce like a thought right he just sort of is like yeah i maxed this or i you know it's like there's no it's all it's all weird slang words strung together by like a brain dead 22 year old which is you know what would you expect But I guess –

42:15Jason Stewart:Yeah, that's how everyone talks. So then – so younger people are like, oh, this guy talks how we actually talk. He's our representative. He's our real – you know, he's our Joe Rogan or whatever. And then older people are just like, what in the – you just can't turn away like a car accident of like what is the world that we are living in now because this guy is clavmaxing.

42:37Chris Black:He's definitely going to die soon though. He's definitely going to die soon. A classic prediction. You know what?

42:42Jason Stewart:It kind of reminds me of when Pete Davidson really first started blowing up. And everyone was like, when he was on his generational run of pulling some of the most beautiful women of all time. And while he was doing that, every week on SNL, he had this recurring video, like a please don't destroy me kind of video, where he was like this guy that would just say like, okay. yeah yeah yeah nice yeah like like so he played like this like brain dead dumb guy who would just say these one word things and it was i think it was almost like he was showing the world like here's how i operate through the world somebody says titties and i say nice and then you know whatever then that's about it and here i am pulling but i don't think that's you know who 10 after 10 after 10.

43:37Jason Stewart:For some reason, it reminds me of that, of like, what is it? We want to figure out what it is about you that people find so irresistible.

43:47Chris Black:Well, Pete Davidson is not dumb. He's actually pretty funny. I think that was like - That's the trick? Well, I think people were mad because they didn't think he was good looking enough to be fucking Kim Kardashian, which is obviously that's in the eye of the beholder. this guy has no redeeming qualities at all and is just sort of like do he's hitting his face with a hammer you know what i mean like think about think about what we're actually like that is but i guess

44:12Jason Stewart:maybe a better comp would be the rise of six nine i would say six nine brought more to the table he definitely brought yeah i mean he had a generational run of three or four undeniable crazy bangers but this is that's what i'm trying to say everyone was like look at this fucking freak. He goes through the world acting awful. He's taken a page out of the Andrew Tate book and lists. He was this thing that people just wanted to look at as a spectacle.

44:41Chris Black:But this is the problem. Your two examples are two guys that did something. That's the whole problem with this. Clavicular doesn't do anything.

44:50Jason Stewart:I think the thing that he does is be as good looking as possible and makes no... doesn't hide the fact that he's doing whatever he can to try and be the most good. And he is a good looking guy who has a good body and he's, and he's doing whatever he can. So he's kind of like a Brian Johnson human experiment. The only goal in his life is to make himself look as good as possible. And I guess that's like really high art.

45:21Chris Black:I mean, to somebody, I just don't, I think that like we used to, at least you could be pretty bad and do dumb shit but if you had if you had undeniable skill especially in the arts we would sort of give you a pass and forgive that that's like what this culture is built on and this is this is the end of this is like this guy doesn't have anything to offer us at all he's offering he's offering nothing he even says he doesn't really care about having sex yeah he's not even using his skills for he's not even using his skills for good so he's he's got a square jaw and some broad shoulders and he says racist stuff on kick that's literally what we're talking about that's what we're talking about it's crazy it's it's honestly insane like all these got like the the fact that like pete davidson that fascination or six nine which are good examples in many ways because we were fascinated they did take over culture in a

46:15Jason Stewart:pretty real way like this guy sucks and i can't stop whenever there's a video or a picture or a whatever i'm gonna watch it i'm clicking on it because it is just such a big red button that i

46:27Chris Black:can't not push but this is this is like i don't really understand where this is gonna go except this guy dying because there's no he has no sort of i i just don't like what's he gonna do is he like besides walking d squared what's the game here like because at a certain point a certain point the the the shine will dull and we'll move on to another idiot streamer that's been the last five years of culture in general yeah you know it's like there's always they're just going to take it further and further what's going to happen now is the guy just going to kill himself on camera to get the most views like well i honestly don't know where this goes if that's the if that's

47:03Jason Stewart:the goal i think it's it's 50 chance he dies soon for whatever reason suicide or meth or whatever it is or he does like a born again like somebody yeah somebody brings him in and then he turns you know he does whatever the pete davidson version is whatever the version of getting all of his mars attacks tattoos lasered off his body and and quits doing meth and whatever like but i guess what no what i'm saying to you is that that he is merely a vessel he's a vessel which he knows yeah he

47:36Chris Black:because he he lacks no charisma even though he's a riz master he has zero charisma zero nothing but i'm saying like if i guess what i'm saying is if this is what we're going to start doing what is the next how much how more how much more this guy is pretty extreme yeah as far as like bringing nothing to the table and being very popular and also being like inventing or not inventing but maybe popularizing like a dumb dumb language that is like you hear people say in the street after a week you know what i mean like gesture maxing was not a thing last week and you'll hear somebody say it at the coffee shop like it's a normal word so i'm saying how far how far do we go like what is the next like what else can people if if racism is completely unshocking now like like saying hail hitler in a club is just like another thing that happens or whatever what is the what what i don't know where we go like that's what i mean like what more i

48:28Jason Stewart:think how much further can these dumbasses go big clav realizes that he should have not put all of his eggs in the looks masking looks maxing basket and he should have reserved a few eggs in the jester mask maxing basket yes yes yes you know he has zero he has zero gesture to him no and that's

48:49Chris Black:gonna kill you in the end it's just like reading the quotes from him in the new york times is literally like i know children that are smarter than you like you are dumb as a fucking rock and no one should ever have to hear you talk but because of street the popularity of streaming these this is it this is just what people this is what people want i guess this is this guy's more people are looking at this guy than they are at like actual tv shows or whatever yeah like you This is as big as it gets from a cultural perspective.

49:20Jason Stewart:Maybe we are all watching it so attentively because subconsciously everyone thinks that it's only a matter of days until something really crazy happens to them. So it's kind of like some random like Breddy Sinellis, the Shards, Substack, but happening in real life acted out by a real person. You know what I mean? like every day you open your social media and like what is gonna happen yeah when is when is the day finally gonna come you know where something really gnarly happens to him well that's good or bad but that's the yes i mean yeah no you're like oh i guess he's dating kate beckinsale now yeah like that would be one crazy thing that happens to him on the plus or like you know spotted at honey high with phoebe bridgers or you know like whatever it is that would be crazy on one way light the internet or at least our corner of the internet on fire or the opposite you know a video of like blue face like making him suck his dick you know in a fucking gas station or you know what you know like yeah that really is the two ways it goes the roll in 60s catch him and they

50:28Chris Black:make him fucking we got adam 22 fucking his mom on pay-per-view it's like yeah adam 22 fucks clav's mom on pay-per-view dude it's just so honestly sometimes i sit i literally yesterday adam you got to hit mom for the culture bro i was i was i was reading a book and i put it down i took a break and i was you know i was just think i was thinking about this and i was like man this is really like the stuff that's going on now is bad like i don't like i'm not even i'm not even talking

51:00Jason Stewart:about like epstein speaking of the clav language i like that you you went from you went from literature maxing to the stuff going on is bad come on chris a great a great new book by andrew

51:11Chris Black:martin it's called downtime i put it down on my chest and i looked out the window and i was like damn it's it's worse than it's ever been before as i i put my eck house lot of pants on one leg at a time and all i could think about all i could think about were these fucking bozos and how this is where we're at as far as culture and you know jason i hate to say it i think streaming's at fault i think streaming of course that seems like the common denominator right that's what i mean it really is the cut like you want to you want to say this or that or where they're from or the you know blah blah the common denominator is that you can turn on a camera and people will watch you do anything and that is the that is the that that how could a bar get lower and well i i would i will

51:54Jason Stewart:push back on this because you might have some subconscious anger because you know the the first and second seasons of the real world or maybe even band in a bubble totally the early iterations of let's just put a camera on these people hit record and watch them do whatever you know mundane tasks in their life yeah no it used to be this this thing that was really interesting and beloved and now this is what you know this is where we're at similar to like the the hip-hop movement yeah started out with these amazing soul samples and jazzy things and amazing lyricism and powerful protest songs and civic duty and bangers and and now you know we have we have net spend saying just some horse shit on some stuff while people do pills this is you know live reality television the beauty of puck in san francisco riding his yeah yeah you're right spitting snot boogers on his fixed gear and eating you know bean and cheese burritos this amazing slice of culture and it's now squished out we're scraping the resin bowl with a hot guy who's lifting his shirt up every

52:59Chris Black:once in a while it never should have gotten this popular is the thing like that's the thing that's true about most things but you're right i mean you're absolutely right like i i obviously i watch a version of this but i guess because i spent i watched so much of it or i definitely have in my life i feel like it's not um i feel like there's guardrails in place not just because of like network practices but like there's a team of produce there's like a team of people making sure that nothing bad actually happens yeah you know what i mean whereas with this i think that the like walking up to people in the street and saying something i just it just feels lawless in a way that's going to end badly for everyone whereas reality tv as a as an experiment is definitely bad no question but at least when when it's bunham and murray producing it there was sort

53:48Jason Stewart:of a level the real bm that's the that's the bm i'm celebrating this that's the real bm that's the real bm on my valentine's day the goats but i just think that that is the i think the difference

53:59Chris Black:is now that there's no law and there's no one saying hey maybe don't do that that could ruin

54:03Jason Stewart:your life you know what i mean like maybe don't say but there's somebody saying no do that ruin your life and we'll get rich yes but um and i guess the other form of reality tell you know You're talking about how this is lawless. Let's just get your one friend who has a camera and make them sign a weird contract, and then you follow them around, and they kind of boss you around, and you film them just doing whatever, and that's what's going to happen. I think the other form of reality television that you love and cherish is the Bravo universe, the let's get these people drunk and fighting, where I think that's the real no guardrails lawlessness where we sign the crazy NDA and then we just get you guys liquored up, you guys yell, fight, and fuck, and you actually do gnarly shit.

54:56Jason Stewart:And I think we're experiencing the uncanny valley of watching these streamers where it seems lawless, it seems like they're doing crazy shit, but we don't notice that there's 12 bodyguards and the thing couldn't be more cushioned and childproof. and that's why we're upset.

55:13Chris Black:No, the difference is one is live and one isn't. Yeah. I mean, that's the real difference is that reality TV is quote-unquote real. Obviously, it's not. Streaming the whole game is, no matter how many bodyguards you got, no matter how many guns you have on you, you're doing that shit like you're doing it live so anything can happen, as they say.

55:34Jason Stewart:And live television events where we all come together and enjoy it at the same time are the only real television events that get true ratings you know award shows sports events you know those things where the whole world watches all at the same time and then you go online and see what other people are saying about it though that's like it's not the future of television it's sort of the only time we all are like collectively viewing something at the same time so and and it doesn't matter if it's good or not necessarily as long as it's live and it feels real and we get that feeling that anything could happen no it's the it's the will smith slap

56:16Chris Black:that was like the biggest thing that happened in a long time because it happened live let me get another and it wasn't supposed to get another slap it wasn't supposed to yeah i'd rather see that than fucking clavicular walking a fucking runway show in a wet t-shirt in a poxy t-shirt and epoxy button down i wish it was a good i'm good on that i'm good on that well it was made to look wet so you know it's it's easy it's easy to get confused it was impressive work yeah good job on the shirt real impressive work really no i thought it looked i thought i mean i don't know

56:45Jason Stewart:who would wear that shirt but you know just artistically speaking i guess it had a little would wear most had a little early mcqueen to it you know i'm not trying to big up you sounds like you're bigging up look i'm only talking i'm separating the art from the artist chris yeah

56:59Chris Black:i'm having to do that right now with evan dando so i know i know how you're suffering they got ev uh in the little mental facility huh i mean you know i i'm shocked it took this long for something this bad to happen i just think that there's people that just have to be sober and he is one of those people and when you start when you start you know oh no i just i just smoke pot and drink i don't do heroin or coke it's like yeah but if you got the if you don't come for me like that bro don't come for me like that no no i'm just if you got the bug you got the bug and he's got the bug and it was only a matter of time before he did something like this this is bad you know it's bad and he shouldn't have done it and i'm sure he's gonna you know pay the price to some to some extent and i just don't i don't you know it's it's really um it's it's this has happened to a lot of guys that i like musically and uh i don't think it all necessarily stems from drugs and alcohol by any means but i i think that like it's it's bad it's a bummer yeah it's

58:06Jason Stewart:really weird how some people like you said they have to be sober there's no other way for them to go through life or else it's just you know it's only a matter of time until the self-destruction happens but then you get a guy you know like a lemmy or a john daly famed golf star where you He smokes cigarettes when he's getting interviewed on television. He drinks like 30 beers a day, and he's just rich and golfs and just smokes and drinks every day and just lives like a pimp, never gets canceled, never says anything weird or wrong. And then other people, just one night, and then you got Ariel pinked.

58:47Chris Black:I mean, Dan does a tough one because it's been so bad for so long, and I think that drugs, I mean, even obviously people look at, I think drugs are people can look at sort of like sympathetically like, this guy's, you know, he's a drug addict. Like we're going to give, you know, Oh, it's okay. But when you start doing shit, when you start, when it's like become sexual stuff, I think people are sort of like, all right, we're out on this, this, there's no, there's a hard line in the sand of right and wrong there. Whereas with drugs, it's sort of like you're hurting yourself. Yeah. Yeah.

59:17Jason Stewart:There's certain things where it don't matter how or why we got here. We are here. And, and, and that's,

59:24Chris Black:we are out i wonder what will happen though because i feel like it was i feel like it was going well-ish as far as like the career like you know playing shows and stuff but i think it'll be uh i think it'll probably go away for a while is my is my guess yeah um i i also wanted to talk about uh these i texted you but there's these harry styles is is you know he's doing his his rollout and the first magazine piece is is in the sunday times in london and it's these it's pictures that Martin Parr took of him after the last tour and Martin Parr has since passed away and I just thought that was a that's a very nice thing and cool thing to have you know what I mean?

1:00:07Chris Black:I saved these Martin Parr pictures, he's no longer with us let's do it exclusive for his favorite I guess that's where he wanted them to go apparently, or he had mentioned that to Harry but I love that he the quotes in that story are really funny.

1:00:25Jason Stewart:Yeah, I just sent you a, I just texted you an image where somebody has already made that image their windows wallpaper background.

1:00:32Chris Black:Yeah, it's great. It's a great image. It's a great picture. Gay lindo, great picture. It really is funny that when celebrities talk about trying to like, after being on tour for three years and trying to like slow down and reflect, people just cannot, they just have to make fun of them. Like, oh, you never gotten a coffee before? and it's like I don't think he's being super literal I think he's trying to say like I hadn't done something like this in a very long time but we just have and we're part of this too we have absolutely no once you're rich and famous sympathy is gone like people don't care what you're going through they don't give a fuck they want the product and that has been the response to this thing.

1:01:12Jason Stewart:Throw being tall on top of that

1:01:13Chris Black:and that's what I've seen on this whole.

1:01:16Jason Stewart:So people are like are giving him shit for saying like wow it's crazy to like walk down the sidewalk and go get a matcha he's like i've been

1:01:24Chris Black:i've been famous since i was 14 or 15 or whatever like yeah you know honestly it's that crazy and

1:01:30Jason Stewart:and and different kind of famous not like oh there's one of there's like the weird looking kid from stranger things or like oh there's whatever it's like you see him and there's a

1:01:39Chris Black:shriek let out and then you know 7 500 yeah yeah yeah women children and gays are storming over the horizon like i don't think i think i think harry harry styles problems are very different than my problems and and most civilians problems i will agree with that but i i do think that the

1:01:56Jason Stewart:the blue or the purple drees loafers today it's a tough one but i will say that i think that the

1:02:02Chris Black:the the doing a tour like that for like three years straight is probably one of the more taxing things you can do as a as a like a performer of any kind sure like that shit is gnarly as hell No matter how nice you're doing it, no matter how nice the jet is, no matter how nice the hotel is, that will fuck you up. And sometimes you need to go sit and have a coffee with your gay friend in Rome. And on that part, who doesn't want to sit with the gay homie and have an espresso in Rome? I thought that was relatable, actually. Sounds like a delightful way to spend an afternoon, if you ask me. That's what I mean.

1:02:33Chris Black:That's what I mean. How can we mock that? That seems like a great way to spend the afternoon, out of touch or not.

1:02:38Jason Stewart:They'll find a way to mock anything, though.

1:02:40Chris Black:That's true. I mean, we're part of that problem as well. I'm not. that's right I'm not confused on that point alright how long gone we are back next week with some podcasts we're gonna do a we have a party in LA them jeans and DJ Harvey with our dear friends from Tom of Finland at Silencio on the

1:03:00Jason Stewart:26th yeah February 26th the edition in West Hollywood come through I don't know how private or public it is but I don't think I'm not sure anyone can go

1:03:11Chris Black:I don't know. That's not our problem.

1:03:13Jason Stewart:If you're not just anybody, we will see you there on the 26th. Chris is going to be in town.

1:03:18Chris Black:Yeah, can't wait. Is that right? Yeah, I'm there. My flight is booked.

1:03:22Jason Stewart:I'll figure out where we're going to get little din din beforehand. Okay. We'll see which jungle curry at Night Market we're going to get you before we hit the club.

1:03:31Chris Black:Leather Daddy Night. Who was it? I love Night Market and when people suggest it before anything, I'm like, no, dude. You cannot do anything after you eat night market. It just doesn't work like that. Yeah.

1:03:44Jason Stewart:Your body is perfuming with raw garlic and jungle berries.

1:03:50Chris Black:It's not good for a club. Makrut lime leaf. Yeah, exactly. It's not good for a club setting. But we also, another episode of How Long Gone After Dark is going to hit on Tuesday.

1:04:03Jason Stewart:Tuesday or Wednesday, TBD.

1:04:05Chris Black:We're trying to keep it as consistent as possible. So look for it.

1:04:09Jason Stewart:We've been in the lab cranking out our new little video show situation. Either Tuesday or Wednesday, it'll be out on YouTube and I believe available on Spotify as well.

1:04:21Chris Black:Yeah, we're going to have a new RSS.

1:04:24Jason Stewart:Separate feed for the video on Spotify. Keep those eyes peeled and then see you in the club. Then when Chris is here on the 26th, we'll probably film some more.

1:04:35Chris Black:And if you guys, if anybody, if any venture capitalist, private equity guys are listening, if you want to go in and buy Wasserman with us, it is for sale. So we're trying to put together a group. I just really think you've got to get it when you can. So if you're interested in that, just hit my email and we'll put our lawyers in touch when we try to get something going.

1:04:57Jason Stewart:Yeah, we're going to meet up probably this week and get the first seed going. Just kind of get it all whiteboarded out.

1:05:02Chris Black:First seed. Ari Emanuel has already committed some money just to ruin his enemy this was all

1:05:07Jason Stewart:Uncle Ari's idea actually

1:05:09Chris Black:you already know howlonggone.com is the website thank you guys for listening we appreciate it and we'll talk to you next week Transcription by CastingWords

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