908. - Cazzie David

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16:19Chris Black:I'm not in Brentwood.

16:23Jason Stewart:Oh, so you're traveling.

16:24Chris Black:For the hundredth time.

16:27Jason Stewart:Sorry, sorry, sorry. Bel Air.

16:28Cazzie David:Bel Air. Or bad. Let us get our little jokes off, okay? That's what we do here. that's a harmless joke that hurts no one involved you know except our guest it's like my it should just be my nickname what up Brentwood like if you're on the OC what up Brentwood exactly oh shit what are you doing here Brentwood it does that honestly there's definitely a child running around in a very expensive stroller that is named Brentwood somewhere oh yeah there's gotta be are

16:55Chris Black:these are these headphones okay can you hear me in these you sound great what these are an unrecognized brand though if you want to talk about it oh do i um so let me guess they're not

17:09Jason Stewart:four dollars and you didn't get them at an airport these are it's it's worse actually

17:15Chris Black:these are like emf proof headphones but it's only because i got so scared because i have to sleep in headphones every night because i need like i need people talking like as close to my brain as possible because even the space like if i have it on the tv or something the space from the audio from the tv to my to my ears fellas you hear this fellas you hear this you ain't staying over all

17:41Jason Stewart:right you ain't staying over well unless you're going to whisper into her ear the entire time she's asleep then it's okay it was worth it i didn't get a week to sleep i talked all night for our listeners at home emf like the electric magnetic field radiation of like electrical devices so these are headphones that are void of that there's like i don't even know if it's

18:03Chris Black:a conspiracy or not but obviously i got scared every single night with headphones in the in the

18:09Jason Stewart:ear felt like too much when mia sent them to you did you have to do a post or did you pay for it

18:14Chris Black:how did it work no i i like did research and i found them i just got a pair of 2100 headphones

18:19Cazzie David:at the house yesterday i'll let you guys know how they sound yeah are they bluetooth actually yeah They're the nicest ones they make. They come in a leather bag. They're the sexiest looking headphones. I have not tried the sound quality. I'm afraid I will not be able to tell the difference, as usual.

18:38Chris Black:Are you scared about the Bluetooth headphones at all?

18:41Cazzie David:I'm not scared of anything. I'm ready to die. Good for you. Anytime. I'm not going to walk into traffic or anything, but I'm also, if my phone is in my pocket, that's fine. Yeah. From pocket. Yeah. I'm not. I'm not worried about what that's going to be. Because you're very scared of everything, right? Yeah. How is that manifesting most recently beyond these headphones? Have you taken other measures recently that maybe would feel extreme to a civilian?

19:09Jason Stewart:Any new frights we should know about?

19:11Chris Black:There's always new frights. I will say the morning routine has gotten slightly unbearable. Because mostly you see all this stuff online. and it's like do this first thing in the morning right on an empty stomach we gotta drink we gotta

19:28Cazzie David:drink we gotta drink hot water we gotta jump up and down a hundred times do i spit do i swallow

19:32Chris Black:there's so many things you're supposed to do on an empty stomach which one is the thing you know lymphatic yeah i've been doing that chinese peptides me too i'm not on peptides if you wake

19:44Cazzie David:up let's say let's say you wake up at 8 a.m what time is your routine done and you can kind of

19:51Chris Black:kick your day off and hit drudge.com at this point it's like lasting at least an hour if i'm

19:58Cazzie David:getting up and doing it all all right so we gotta i am on my phone for that's the problem that i wake

20:04Chris Black:up i go directly on my phone for a really long amount of time depending on how depressed i am

20:09Cazzie David:that morning okay what and you're looking at instagram the usual there's no secret stuff you're looking at no okay you're doing the stuff the same stuff we do checking the markets yeah

20:18Chris Black:I'm just looking at people doing the most mundane things.

20:22Cazzie David:I know you get a lot of get ready with me is on that feed. I'm telling you that right now.

20:26Jason Stewart:I'm watching homeless guys get shot in a parking lot. Yeah. Brentwood's got a lot of get ready. All right.

20:31Cazzie David:So you're, you're wake up, you're scrolling obviously. And then once you pry yourself out of those high thread count sheets, you have an hour ahead of you of routine to get into before you can kind of leave the house.

20:44Chris Black:I'm pretty bad at math. So I'm not sure if it's actually an hour, but it sure feels like one. Less math, more time, but we'll continue.

20:52Cazzie David:Let's start at the top. Let's start at the top.

20:54Chris Black:I heard you're supposed to oil pull directly first thing. Old school. That's getting all the bacteria out.

21:01Jason Stewart:What kind of oil, though?

21:03Chris Black:Coconut.

21:04Jason Stewart:Real heads do sesame, but I'm not going to knock you.

21:07Chris Black:I don't know if I can get into sesame.

21:10Cazzie David:You said you like Chinese stuff, but whatever. Go ahead. Are you doing sesame? Seriously.

21:14Jason Stewart:Are you doing sesame? Sesame, I've tried it. It's a little too Panda Express in the morning for me. You know what I mean? As much as I love celestial flavors, it's, yeah, I go coconut if I'm going to keep it. We all have wine.

21:26Chris Black:I think that's too far.

21:27Cazzie David:Coconut feels like a morning flavor.

21:29Chris Black:Yeah. So I'm doing the coconut, but then you're supposed to have also, as you've heard, the warm water with lemon first thing in the morning. But you're also supposed to take the olive oil shot first thing in the morning.

21:40Jason Stewart:So important. So, like, what's the order of that? The olive oil shot. i think it's it's more it seems like that's like old people stuff like i think you're too young to be doing that obviously you can it's a thing that like fat people shouldn't do and you're not

21:55Chris Black:fat metaphysically i'm like 70 years old yeah yeah yeah yeah you should be doing and do you have like a special brand of olive oil that you turned me on to this olive oil oh the inez yeah

22:07Jason Stewart:i'm like i'm hooked on inez you're gargling that shit yeah wow so you got the caprese out you got the morning caprese a little hit for you a little hit for mama a little back over here can i ask

22:18Cazzie David:can i ask a can i ask a question though is this and i don't i don't want to get into the weeds jason as far as food goes but it is for your is finishing or cooking for this purpose you know what i mean like that's finishing i know but i'm saying like that field maybe a cooking oil would

22:35Jason Stewart:feel more utilitarian for the purpose of your little grasa squeeze down the tube it's got the

22:40Cazzie David:squeeze ready to go.

22:41Jason Stewart:Yeah, like a nice Magna electrolyte bottle. Squeeze that Grasa right in there. Wait, are you? Do you like the Magna electrolytes? Love the Magna. My favorite flavor is apple juice, but check out the new flavor. Yeah, the apple juice is amazing. We've developed a new How Long Gone flavor that's coming out soon. No way. It's the flavor of blue Gatorade. Wow, that's sick. It used to be called Blue Ice, but we decided blue is a little cleaner.

23:05Cazzie David:We just changed it for now. Just kidding, because of all the stuff that's happening. I decided to change it I prefer the Arnold Palmer flavor it gives me that country club feeling people really love the mint lemonade as well

23:19Chris Black:I've only had the apple I can't find it anywhere you have to just get it online

23:23Jason Stewart:we'll get it for you just like every other cool product in the world you come on this podcast and then I DM a beautiful nice young lady who sends it to your house in Brentwood

23:32Cazzie David:there's a 25 year old project manager sitting at her laptop itching to send you some Magna There's no question there.

23:40Chris Black:That's the only thing I want to be sent is this stuff.

23:43Cazzie David:Okay. I'm sure the Mew Mew you send right back when that gets there, but the electrolytes, I get it.

23:49Jason Stewart:Are you talking about more like the$1 ,800 trash can that you don't know where to put kind of thing?

23:55Cazzie David:Yeah. All right. So it's Bluetooth. Sorry. We need to continue with your routine. All right. We're moving past olive oil. Where are we going next?

24:01Jason Stewart:We're pulling. We're shooting. We're chugging. We're rinsing.

24:05Chris Black:Now we're dunking in ice.

24:07Jason Stewart:We're doing the face dunk. Ashton Hall style. Whole body or face? Just face.

24:11Chris Black:How long can you go? 30 seconds. Okay.

24:15Cazzie David:That's cute. Just like Jason. Come on, man. I've gotten some advertisements on my Instagram feed.

24:23Chris Black:For the one with the hole.

24:24Cazzie David:Yes. The bowl with the hole. So the face fits perfectly. I know. What do you think about that?

24:29Chris Black:I'm so tempted to get it. It's pretty good. I do think it's just going to add to more junk in my house and then I'm just going to have it.

24:36Jason Stewart:What exactly is a bowl with a hole? Because a bowl is a hole. No, but it's made to put your face in it so there's no neck contact. Oh, so it's like when you're getting your hair washed at the salon, there's a little divot for your neck to rest in.

24:49Chris Black:You're kind of like snorkeling.

24:50Jason Stewart:Oh, that's nice. So are you able to breathe? Is there like a scuba system? Yeah.

24:55Chris Black:And apparently if you get that, you're going on way past 30 seconds. Oh, yeah.

25:01Jason Stewart:I mean, most people can hold their breath longer than 30 just to let you know. Really? No shade.

25:05Chris Black:yeah that's too bad something to work on something to think about get that cardio up all right so we ice our face for 30 okay i know now i'm drying the face in a red light on a vibration plate oh

25:21Cazzie David:so it's worse than i thought it's worse than i thought this is really bad i know i know i'm into jason and i are both pretty into shit like this like more than most guys our age let's say i do a lot of this stuff. The vibration, okay.

25:35Chris Black:The problem is that if I don't do it, I really feel like a failure the whole day. Well, you are.

25:40Cazzie David:Yeah. If you don't get it done. So which red light mask do you use? How long do you wear it? By the way,

25:45Chris Black:I really didn't want to talk about this stuff on this episode because I remember the last time I came on, I was very insecure afterwards that we only talked about my health routine.

25:54Cazzie David:Well, it's a good thing you brought it up, but

25:56Jason Stewart:this is what people want from us and you to be honest. Yeah, when we had Audrey Hobart on yesterday, she was talking about creams and we brought that up. People want to know about routines and creams.

26:08Cazzie David:They want to be like you. She writes books. She looks good. What can I do? How much do you have to spend to be like her?

26:16Chris Black:By the way, the vibration plate is like $100. That I got very influenced by online, which I regret to say.

26:26Jason Stewart:That's supposed to really fast track the lymphatic jiggle drainage.

26:31Chris Black:So I'm doing the lymphatic dances on the vibration plate.

26:36Cazzie David:The arms are swinging. We're flopping. Hold on. Hold on. I'm sorry. Yeah. I didn't know those were referred to as lymphatic dances. I know exactly what you mean, but I've never heard them. Well, would you call them moves? Yeah, I guess I'd never thought about what to call them. I've never spoken that out loud, but I understand what you mean now.

26:52Jason Stewart:What about a little inversion table? That's what my wife and I have been on lately. Tell me more. it's where you strap in your ankles and then you flip upside down and hang upside down imagine if that also had like red light and it was like a wet situation and cold also cryo i

27:10Chris Black:honestly need to live in like a warehouse with all this stuff like at this yeah i mean that's

27:15Jason Stewart:a goal of mine i don't have i want to have a garage with just all this horse shit a pilates reformer all of it and just go in there and just fucking cruise yeah but what is the what is the

27:26Cazzie David:time what is the suggested retail time of the of the vibration plate i'm doing that for like six minutes because they had you know they've always had those at equinox and it's one of those things that's been there i've always seen it no one started using it until a year ago now there's

27:42Chris Black:a line for it well that's because everyone's so it's again lymphatic is a trend right and that's the thing we're all obsessed with and so you find out that this actually does something for lymphatic drainage and you're like okay now we're all going to use it how often do you get lymphatically

27:55Cazzie David:drained how often are you drain gang professionally i'm not i'm doing that maybe before a red carpet before an event yeah yeah okay and depends depends on the dress oh so okay if something's a little maybe a little more snug yeah what are we showing here i need to get drained no i mean that that's just practical i mean that's just but when you guys get the lymphatic

28:20Jason Stewart:I've never done it. Chris, as you have, obviously. Do you really feel... Because I guess after a good massage, I will feel that I have to do a king's piss. Totally. Not to be crude, but...

28:33Chris Black:Well, this is getting a little gross, but did they do the thing on the stomach TV where they use a tool and they pull...

28:44Jason Stewart:My wife makes me do that for her. Wow.

28:46Cazzie David:You're talking about the Ricari when they use the machine.

28:49Chris Black:It's not even a machine. Sometimes they use their hands, though.

28:52Jason Stewart:It's kind of like you. Yeah, I use my hands.

28:55Chris Black:Oh, yeah.

28:55Jason Stewart:That's just part of the process. And then you got to hit the sides, come around on the sides.

29:00Chris Black:Yeah, that feels so effective. Even if nothing's happening there, you can't help but feel like, oh, this did something.

29:08Cazzie David:I feel I will say that I sleep like a rock. Yeah. After you get drained? After I get drained, I sleep like a rock. But unfortunately, my first drainage was sort of like a prank because it was my friend Ryland's wife. And I had to put on the suit in front of her and wear friends. So it was sort of like him pranking me, but me getting this great service out of it. So I've kind of - Bittersweet.

29:32Jason Stewart:So when you took the photo, you had to cover your nipples and it was a whole thing.

29:35Cazzie David:How many of the - Cassie, be honest. How many times have you taken the hot girl picture in the suit?

29:41Chris Black:I'm sorry. I kind of like spaced out. What's the suit?

29:45Jason Stewart:They put on like the Tron bodysuit that looks like all tech and shit. You know, it's kind of like an Olympic luge suit.

29:52Chris Black:Oh, I haven't had to wear that. I'm just going underwear and a little towel.

29:58Cazzie David:You put on this suit. For a while, it was a big trend among women. You would go when lymphatic was, I would say, not new to market, but really gaining popularity. And you would take a selfie, sort of, you know, one of these because it's clearly see-through.

30:13Chris Black:Yeah, and it's not only you look hot, but it's like, and you take care of yourself.

30:18Cazzie David:But it's so hard to get on for a man of my stature that if somebody saw me trying to put that on, it would be the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me. Like I'm falling over.

30:28Jason Stewart:It's like Chris at Brandy trying to try on a sweater. It just ain't gonna work. It's got a sort of boat neck too. It's just not for me. You know, it's not for me. I'm gonna have to look that up.

30:38Chris Black:That might be my next red carpet dress.

30:41Jason Stewart:Chris has a good Chris is a mod on a subreddit forum with a bunch of pictures you can check it out we'll send you the link it's private but you're cool

30:48Cazzie David:we'll let you in are we done with the routine or is there even more

30:52Chris Black:then you're doing the skin care and then you have to go work out

30:56Cazzie David:so you do all this before I would think the skin care would come after you work out post shower but you're saying you do all that before

31:04Chris Black:I don't really sweat when I work out

31:06Cazzie David:you ain't going that hard then are you

31:08Chris Black:if I do a heated class like i'm sweating but i just like don't really sweat that easily that's a great quality is it

31:16Cazzie David:i'd like to sweat yeah i don't get i don't want to get into the toxins that are you're retaining

31:20Chris Black:obviously without losing that much sweat but well i do wake up every night in the middle of the night ripping of sweat there is that there is that i only sweat i only sweat in the middle of the night when i'm supposed to be scared okay drenched okay i'm good call out glad you shared that one yeah So if the headphones weren't enough of a deterrent to sleep over, you know.

31:44Jason Stewart:So when you wake up in the middle of the night and you have to change your diaper, whatever you're listening to is still playing in your MIA headphones?

31:51Chris Black:I'm choking from the wire of my headphones.

31:55Jason Stewart:Wrapped around your neck like an umbilical cord, swimming in a pool.

31:58Chris Black:Yeah, I have to change my entire outfit.

32:00Cazzie David:So you're listening to a podcast in those headphones to sleep? No, no, no.

32:04Chris Black:Gilmore Girls.

32:06Jason Stewart:Blast it. I didn't know Fret made plastic sheets. That's cool.

32:10Chris Black:You should have seen Chris's face. Okay, so you're listening to Gilmore Girls episodes,

32:15Jason Stewart:not like a Gilmore Girls podcast or audio book or something. You just pull it up on Netflix and you listen to it like audio.

32:22Chris Black:And by the way, I have an extension for the headphones. This goes on. I have... You just wait. Because I need the computer far away from me. so I have like a 20 foot extension cord for these headphones and it goes across my room

32:39Jason Stewart:for our listeners at home she looked like she was doing battle ropes at the gym unveiling her anaconda headphone cable that felt the scarf

32:49Cazzie David:coming out of the pocket of a magician it just kept coming

32:53Jason Stewart:okay so you have to keep the laptop in another far away wing of the house because you're going to defeat the purpose of the headphones if you're just sleeping right now.

33:04Cazzie David:Which Gilmore Girls character do you think gives you the most calm? Obviously, it's the overall conversation.

33:10Chris Black:I'll tell you who it's not, Dean, who's so fucking annoying and whiny. Fuck Dean. I actually can't stand Dean.

33:20Cazzie David:I've never seen the show, so I don't know about Dean. I saw Lauren Graham at a party recently, recently-ish, and I have to say I was pretty starstruck.

33:31Chris Black:Yeah, I would be too. She's unbelievable.

33:34Cazzie David:That show was so popular. I didn't really watch it. Like I did a little bit, but I was more of a Dawson's guy. Not that I have to choose. Yeah. I do feel like that wholesome era of television has long passed us by.

33:47Chris Black:Right. But it was super weird because when I first started watching it, I think I was younger than Rory was. And now I'm still watching it, which is really pathetic because I still need to watch it to go to sleep even though I'm no longer 14.

34:02Cazzie David:Have you tried any other programs or is this your comfort show?

34:05Chris Black:I rotate between four shows.

34:08Cazzie David:All right, so Kill Tony, Gilmore Girls, what else?

34:13Chris Black:It's anything that has girl in the title I've rotated between. So it's New Girl. Okay. Gilmore Girls. Got it. What else has girl in the title? Gossip Girl. Okay. But I've done Gilmore Girls now And I'll do Sex and the City sometimes a little bit. Like a little bit.

34:30Cazzie David:The original girl show, really, if you will.

34:33Chris Black:Yeah, but sometimes it makes me a little nauseous.

34:35Cazzie David:Why? Too much intercourse? They're too fab? Yeah, they're too fab.

34:41Chris Black:Sorry, they were just slaying too hard. I couldn't sleep. Those Manolos, I think are going to be sick. You know, sometimes Miranda's doing something that's kind of gross, and it doesn't help going to bed. Don't talk about him like that. That's her husband. I do not do that.

34:53Jason Stewart:He's not everyone's flavor, but I think he's got a lot of nice qualities. His legs look good in a cargo.

34:58Cazzie David:I think Steve's a good hooper, too. I think he gets a little discredit.

35:01Jason Stewart:Low key. Yeah, he is a good hooper.

35:03Cazzie David:All right. Which is good, but it'll only take you so far. How many episodes of GG do we have to get through before you're sawing logs?

35:15Chris Black:Yeah. When do you put the self-timer on? I'm hoping it's like I'm listening to like half an episode and I can pass out. Okay. That's reasonable.

35:22Cazzie David:Have you ever thought about sleeping pills?

35:25Chris Black:No, because I just don't want to get reliant on them. But there was a time where I was doing the melatonin, and then there was the whole thing. Melatonin's bad for you. I don't know if I buy that.

35:35Cazzie David:Well, melatonin's fake. I'm talking about prescription drugs, the only ones that work.

35:39Chris Black:No, I'm not getting on that. Okay. Yeah, I'm not doing that.

35:41Jason Stewart:I understand.

35:42Chris Black:I'd rather just sleep less.

35:45Jason Stewart:You'd rather white-knuckle life and sleep every single day?

35:48Chris Black:Do you think falling asleep with a sleeping medication, the sleep you get from that is more beneficial than just sleeping a little bit less? Yes, no question. Okay, interesting.

36:00Jason Stewart:I think it depends on the medication.

36:01Cazzie David:If I take a Lunesta, or as I refer to it in my household, as a loony, eight hours, you wake up feeling like a fucking king.

36:11Chris Black:Are you on that every night?

36:13Cazzie David:Not every night, but I really just like, I cannot toss and I can't, I cannot play that game. Like what you're talking about.

36:22Jason Stewart:I cannot. We do not toss and turn on this side. I cannot deal with that.

36:25Cazzie David:And I'm, I'm not allowed to take any other drugs or alcohol. So I feel like getting eight hours of sleep is unfortunately my drug.

36:33Chris Black:I will be like relaxed and then I'll get in bed and, and, and everything, like even just like a part of the sock like just hitting the wrong place of the foot makes me so crazy like the tossing and turning for me is it's a really bad time i think i think you kind of like it i think you've romanticized it and then the head and then i'm getting choked by the headphones

36:53Jason Stewart:okay well follow-up question how does your sleep change when somebody else is in the bed with you could be romantically a friend or whatever just when you're not alone don't do that jason when

37:04Cazzie David:Your sister's sleeping over. Let's keep this PG.

37:07Jason Stewart:It could be that.

37:08Cazzie David:It could be whatever. You know chicks love to share the bed with their friends. One of the weirdest thing about women.

37:13Chris Black:There's only two friends I can share a bed with. Otherwise, I'm just up the whole night.

37:17Jason Stewart:Okay. Does a bed companion make things better, worse, or neutral?

37:21Chris Black:First of all, if they're a light sleeper, it's hard because then I'm scared that anytime I move, I'm waking them up. And if they're a deep sleeper, it's also hard because there's just something about having someone next to you who's so deep in sleep that makes there it's almost like the contrarian in me

37:37Cazzie David:like i can't fall asleep all right bitch i'll show you okay okay well this is it's funny you it's funny you say that because this is the issue we deal with in my household is that i fall asleep

37:49Chris Black:and that makes my wife mad yeah that i'm asleep and then she sort of i'm not going to say holds

37:55Cazzie David:it against me into the next day but i would say sometimes i'm feeling something that i i'm not aware of and i come to find out she's watched you know four episode of of tell me lies you know and has been up all night while i'm over there sawing logs you want to be the first person to fall

38:11Chris Black:asleep and if you're not you're that's her whole thing yes yes yeah that's the whole thing that

38:17Cazzie David:whoever that's the winner is who falls asleep first that's no i'm sorry i just i do think you

38:21Chris Black:should be like petting her to sleep and staying up until she falls asleep the fuck like a sick animal i'm modern bro we're equals what the fuck am i i ain't gotta do all that that's a job and stuff that's just respect that's just respect that look yeah i always let my partner sleep first before i finish they need to sleep first and they need to wash their face and brush their teeth well you gotta let a chick wash your face and brush your teeth first i agree i'm

38:46Jason Stewart:fine this is why we have two sinks honey get your money up come on guys no but you don't want to be

38:50Cazzie David:you don't want to be you don't want to be i don't want to be in the bathroom with anyone ever under any circumstance yeah i don't give a fuck i don't care if i have four sinks i don't want what if they're like shampooing you what if they're giving you a little rub that's different i i mean a little different i i just i take a shower before bed so i need chris time say less i'm a before bed shower myself well i know you're i can tell you're a two a day type like me yeah and then you see online

39:14Chris Black:have you guys been seeing these videos where it's like the ai like screaming at like as a product screaming at you like ah yeah yeah no do you know what i'm talking about no i don't know what kind of product would scream well i saw this one ai video that was and i don't i don't know you guys the internet from in the last three months how can you tell us ai you guys the world in the last three months the algorithm how fast it changes has completely shocked me because it used to take at least a few hours you know and now you can just watch one video and like that's it i i watched this one video of like jam being spread on something like a material an ai video of material that turns into jam okay got it and my whole feed for days was just different materials being spread into jam but anyways i i only say that because i saw this ai video that was saying like you you don't want to take two showers a day you don't want to use hot water because it dries out your skin, blah, blah, blah.

40:16Chris Black:And it's like this cartoon that's yelling at you. And it makes you scared of everything.

40:20Cazzie David:I've heard all of those. I just think that unfortunately, the amount of information we have access to allows us to both believe and disbelieve every single thing. So I think you got to find out what works for you. And in your case, an hour of prep before you leave the house is what works. And I think that's fine. You know what works for me? Delusion.

40:43Chris Black:I just know I'm gonna die in the most embarrassing way and everyone's gonna laugh at me

40:49Cazzie David:we're leaving today and entering a world of mickey mouse waving princess meeting and greeting

40:56Jason Stewart:lightsaber clashing the twilight zone tower of terror dropping banshee flying space mountain

41:04Cazzie David:launching galaxy rewinding what's the whole death of galaxy rewinding fireworks igniting

41:10Jason Stewart:World of Other Worlds. For whatever you love.

41:14Cazzie David:Infinite worlds await at the most magical place on Earth. Walt Disney World Resort.

41:19Chris Black:When you want your spring break to feel like... And your kid's pool day to feel like... And your hotel bed to feel like... Ooh, and room service to feel like... Because at Hilton, hospitality feels like...

41:38Cazzie David:Your cabana's ready. Would you like fresh towels?

41:41Chris Black:It matters where you stay. Book now at Hilton.com. Hilton for this day.

41:51Chris Black:Like I'm scared I'm going to get like attacked by an animal on a hike or something and everyone's going to laugh.

41:57Jason Stewart:Look at that idiot getting eaten alive by a mountain lion. So stupid. This dumbass one on a hike in LA. That's what you get.

42:03Chris Black:No one laughs at other people dying in like freak accidents, but I think they would laugh at me. No, I do. I laugh at that.

42:09Cazzie David:Yeah, for sure. I laugh at that. We always talk about how I want to die all the time because I want to go. I have a pretty clear idea. If it's not OD in a hotel room, obviously it's a plane or a helicopter crash.

42:23Chris Black:I agree. I mean, there's only a few ways to really cement your legacy. Oh, Kazzy getting airlifted, but then it starts spinning too fast. Remember that one?

42:31Cazzie David:Oh, yeah, yeah. That could really work for you.

42:33Chris Black:You can't cement a legacy with an embarrassing death.

42:36Cazzie David:Imagine if I died in a hotel room in a suit after relapsing, that is hot.

42:41Chris Black:Yeah, that's cool.

42:42Cazzie David:Like Tom Ford for Gucci with the OG? That's the way to do it.

42:46Jason Stewart:It's undeniably ideal. I don't like you fantasizing your suicide this much. It's okay to peek around a little bit, but don't get too invested. It would be accidental.

42:57Chris Black:Did you watch the Tell Me Lies finale?

43:00Cazzie David:It was playing in my room, but I didn't pay attention to it. I keep forgetting that guy is the mom from Married with Children's Son, which is a really cool thing to me. Why do you keep forgetting that, Chris? Because it comes up. I'll read something about him. I'll read something about him. And I think they're hot and it's cool that they're a real couple. That show is crazy.

43:28Chris Black:That is the best show I've seen in a really long time.

43:31Cazzie David:Better than Industry? Does it speak to you like that?

43:33Chris Black:I need to watch Industry. I haven't watched it yet. Yeah, it really speaks to me. I just think it's like the writing is really good because it it brings up like the dramas we we grew up watching like

43:43Cazzie David:the gossip girl yeah it does a good job i mean the way that it's really funny because this is something i remember from being that age is like at least in this show the girl that's supposed to be like the hottest one is not which is very high school to me she's like they give her that haircut i just can't i just think that they do a good job of making it look very time appropriate too

44:03Chris Black:which is is tough because it's not a glamorous era no they really did make it seem like that was a nostalgic time even though it was so recently because it's not what was it like 10 years now i guess longer than i think it's from that there's stuff from 2009 i think in it and like 2015 like

44:22Cazzie David:it jumps around yeah that's not that long ago yeah that's not but it really looks like a it's

44:27Chris Black:really not point in time that you can remember am i gonna like this show i just think it's actually good like it's not bad i think it's good too i think it's good too um well are we done talking

44:37Jason Stewart:about a hulu show for teenage girls now guys hey man that show is that show is way more popular than i realized honestly so so is the summer i turned pretty and the one with the indian girl

44:50Chris Black:and there's all these super no it's not even it's not even close are you guys on like you guys watching any reality tv you guys watching traders at all i don't watch traders for some reason i'm

44:59Cazzie David:I'm trying to get into the new season of love is blind, which is no so far my favorite. Cause it's, it's, they picked Ohio, which feels like one of the most bland places on earth to pull singles from. Um, but it seems to be working so far.

45:12Chris Black:I think love is blind was the turning point. Like was a really bad turning point for our culture. Like that's what that just crossed the line of stupidity. Really?

45:23Cazzie David:You think that's what crossed the line? Did you see flavor of love? Maybe you're a little too young. We crossed that line a long time ago. You remember where Bret Michaels was getting biker chicks over to his house?

45:33Jason Stewart:Yeah, there was the dating show where they'd be the three eligible bachelors just behind a plywood wall on a stage, and they would pick the person based on conversation and not looks, right? Same thing.

45:46Cazzie David:What was the MTV one that was really popular? Next.

45:49Jason Stewart:Next was fun. When you tell an ugly to get off the bus.

45:53Chris Black:But they're not getting married. It's just like, let's go on a date. Who should I go on a date with?

45:57Jason Stewart:They're only going go-kart riding for an afternoon.

46:00Cazzie David:We got to push the stakes. It's got to be worth something or no one cares. But I think Love is Blind is horrible, but I also think it's the best. You watch Love Island? No. That's a huge mistake. Isn't it every day? Yeah. That's great. That somehow is too far for me.

46:20Chris Black:There's nothing else to live for besides getting a new episode.

46:24Cazzie David:How long is it on every day? Like how long is the run? Like two weeks, a month? Like how long is it on every single day?

46:31Chris Black:So a season is like, I'm trying to think about how long I've been watching this one season for that's on right now.

46:37Cazzie David:It's never ending. That's the whole thing.

46:39Chris Black:Thank God it's never ending.

46:41Jason Stewart:It's always on television. It's always on. If somebody dies or they just replace them, they don't even say anything?

46:46Chris Black:I'm not even kidding. I will be so depressed. And then I'll find out a new season has come on and it'll completely give me life for the next month.

46:55Cazzie David:Are they hot? or are they just more reality show contestants with muscles and plastic surgery?

47:01Chris Black:There's always two that are hot.

47:02Cazzie David:Okay. Are you saying they find each other? Hot to you or hot to everyone?

47:07Chris Black:Sometimes they find each other. Sometimes they're with other people.

47:09Cazzie David:Okay, okay.

47:10Chris Black:Hot to everyone.

47:11Cazzie David:Have you seen any of these Love is Blind contestants out in the wild in the greater Los Angeles area?

47:17Chris Black:I have not seen them. I have not seen anyone. But the U.S. version, they're from all over the U.S., okay? so there's people from texas okay whatever like cat's eye and then uk it's like they're all in england sure yeah yeah uk they're all in england in america you got to go to south padre island one is in england okay i'm learning i'm learning but there's also an australia one and by the way now that's that's three seasons a year okay australia u.s yeah uk and three very different times so i'm watching three seasons a year and then you have games okay so that's four and then you have all stars, which is five.

47:54Chris Black:Okay. So I'm watching five seasons.

47:56Cazzie David:So there's basically no break, really, when you get down to it.

47:59Chris Black:Sometimes you get a few weeks of a break but you don't want the break.

48:02Cazzie David:The break makes you want it more.

48:04Chris Black:Yeah.

48:04Jason Stewart:Really. So the break is like you guys go to the Maldives for three weeks and just kind of dry out. Well,

48:09Chris Black:sometimes it feels like how it does when you're like on your phone for too long where you're like and you like need to throw the phone and like escape. That's what it feels like when you're kind of on episode 23. It's like toxic love. I should mention there's 50 episodes a season. That's what I'm saying. That's what I was always told.

48:27Cazzie David:Okay, how drunk are they? Very, right?

48:29Chris Black:They're only allowed like one drink a night.

48:32Cazzie David:You're saying they act like that naturally.

48:34Chris Black:But think about it. It's such a psychology experiment. That's why it's so fun to watch because they're all stuck on this island, right? But they're not looking for love, are they? Well, I think it's like the same thing when you're at camp or on a set. You get really close to these people and you really develop real feelings.

48:55Cazzie David:How many boyfriends from your camp era do you still talk to as an adult?

48:59Chris Black:I only went to camp for two weeks and I never went back.

49:02Cazzie David:Wow. Smart. I'm proud of you for that. Thank you. I never went to camp. That wasn't part of my culture.

49:07Chris Black:First of all, at our camp, it was the cool thing to shower in the lake. So all the girls would go to the lake naked and have to shampoo in the lake and use like - Jason's way to sound sick.

49:20Jason Stewart:everyone was like watching when you're saying how this is like what happens before a porn starts

49:25Chris Black:that's what happens before this is children okay got it got it okay i didn't know we're 12

49:32Cazzie David:okay he didn't know he didn't know he's not jewish he didn't know he didn't know really really hated it made me want to not bathe because you were like a loser if you took a shower right Right, right, right. Okay, so if you didn't go down with your Pantene to the fucking lake and took a regular shower with your herbal essences. So this is similar to like a frat hazing ritual. Yeah, this does seem like a hazing ritual for sure. I don't know. Where were the counselors while you little hussies were out there fake showering?

50:01Chris Black:In my memory, everyone was, the counselors were showering there too in the lake. Oh, hell no.

50:07Cazzie David:See, that's the problem. I'm waiting for this documentary to come out. No, sir. What island were you on?

50:13Chris Black:you know yeah what yeah exactly what was prince andrew there this was like a this was a camp in

50:17Cazzie David:canada i knew it they're looser up there yeah they're kind of loose with it as far as as far

50:22Chris Black:as stuff like that goes i mean no friends everyone hated me this is kind of like the story of my life

50:27Cazzie David:did you go there did you did you go there with any friends like did you go in there completely

50:33Chris Black:solo or did you know a few people so i went with my sister but she was in a different you know age

50:39Cazzie David:cabin oh i see because you guys are you guys are pretty close in age though we're two years apart yeah damn they broke you up two years that's twin they can't do that that's crazy nobody said camp was easy chris these are skills that we have to learn to grow wow i thought you guys could share

50:55Chris Black:bunk beds if it's two years apart that's not that crazy no every year was separated oh okay okay i see like school she thrived she went back the next year that bitch yeah i never went back yeah stuck with your books that summer sometimes i'll get a dm from someone that's like we went to camp together and i'm like i can't imagine that you were very nice to me they want they

51:18Cazzie David:like they see a book coming out and they're they're trying to get some clout you know what i mean they said this this she's got a book i wish people were using me for clout chris no one's using you for clout i guess an author is not the number one clout usage

51:31Jason Stewart:in 2026 um i i pull i read a few chapters of the book in the sauna getting my red light on i haven't had a chance to finish it few few quotes i wanted to just pull out and and chat with you about one of them who knows where i'd be if i discovered mouth tape 10 years ago yeah which is something i've sort of thought about as well are you are you heavy on the taping and how has it changed

51:55Chris Black:your life if so so trying to tape every night obviously um sometimes obviously when i wake up in the middle of the night with the cold sweats screaming from a nightmare the mouth tape can be a little frightening um i'm imagining the snot flying out of the nose it's really a quote about nowhere for it to go nowhere for it to go it's more about how like everything i learn makes me just like more upset for my past that i didn't know it i don't get happy to have learned something

52:24Jason Stewart:new i just get more so that's the very therapy 101 as soon as you have a breakthrough the next thing you think about is all the years i i wish that i learned i wish i had this breakthrough 10 years ago or two girlfriends ago or whatever it may be yeah so that's where you go to by default and you're able to fill a whole book with that shit huh uh it seems seems like yeah this this

52:48Chris Black:this book is a little thick i gotta say do you think it's too thick i'm not saying it's too thick

52:53Cazzie David:but 300 pages 300 pages of essays

52:57Chris Black:300 pages is one page more than to be able to be taken seriously as a book

53:02Jason Stewart:I'm novella

53:03Chris Black:300 puts you in a different book bracket

53:07Jason Stewart:I agree which can be good and bad

53:09Cazzie David:I gotta say though look at the notes in the back this is art I have to say the first one reference is I wouldn't take anything back Suki Waterhouse on her wild ride from London It Girl to LA Mom and Finding Pure Love with Robert Pattinson from Vogue. We've got Nora Ephron, but we've also got Jennifer Lawrence. I love these questions. When Kylie Jenner. There's really a lot of great references here.

53:33Chris Black:We pulled some stuff.

53:34Jason Stewart:You got a Graydon Carter quote. We got a Diablo Cody. Can't win them all.

53:43Jason Stewart:Jesus Christ. You needn't comment.

53:49Cazzie David:I like the reference. I like putting that. I think doing stuff like that in the back, I know you have to do it legally too, but I think it's pretty fun to look through.

53:57Chris Black:By the way, that's the most of the book you're going to read, and I know that, and that's okay.

54:01Cazzie David:No, no, no. I'm going to read this. I'm absolutely going to read this book. It got returned for some reason to the publisher, and they were like, whatever. So it didn't come until recently. I'm just in the middle of another book right now. I'm going to take this with me this weekend to Charleston. Absolutely read it.

54:16Chris Black:It is 300 pages of someone complaining.

54:19Cazzie David:I mean, I'm about to do the same thing. so I just don't, I don't, I complain three times a week. I don't read all the authors that come on the podcast because some of them don't interest me. I'm sure you don't, yeah. But when they do, I feel personally invested in your success. Thank you, that means a lot to me. Not that I didn't need contributing to it, but I just -

54:37Jason Stewart:And we read something else that you did when you were on the first time, right? Yeah, definitely, yeah, definitely.

54:43Chris Black:What was I on for the first? Oh, I think for my movie, right? Probably, yeah, yeah.

54:47Cazzie David:I can't keep track of all your projects. Your slate is so full.

54:50Chris Black:You know what? it's so it's so embarrassing to have a project that i have to come out of the woodwork and ask people like for a favor is so humiliating i know i saw a text between me and someone the other day i was inviting them to this like book party i'm having and i saw that the last text i sent them was inviting them to a screening and it's like like what everybody probably hates me so much like I don't know I don't ever really feel like anyone is inviting me to stuff constantly that's not true I see you at stuff but I guess it doesn't I'm not it's not framed in my mind as like an annoying

55:28Cazzie David:thing that's like a favor but this is this is this is actually I learned this lesson from like restaurant people they're like it's not annoying it's our job like when you want if we we are friends if you want a table at my restaurant and you text me it is not annoying because we are friends and my job is to make sure that my friends eat at this restaurant so i have a i have a screening you think that's the same thing i honestly if you are in if you were screened stuff but if you i don't want to watch anything but if they're in that business and you invite me to something i would want to go to support you it's not i don't think that's annoying but i have

56:01Jason Stewart:friends will be like hey do you want to go to this thing and it's like stupid and you got to be like versus like you're coming to the table with no partiful links and all this shit you want to come to this movie screening, book release, spelling bee, cool guest list only event with open bar and a gift bag. At least you're coming to the table with something of value versus like, hey, do you want to go to Treest

56:27Cazzie David:and smoke cigs and chat about my life? I don't think it's really like that. I understand because everything we do is also embarrassing and I feel pathetic every day when I look in the mirror. But we have chosen, unfortunately, we have chosen this career path and if we went and had jobs, we wouldn't have to do this, but then we might not like our lives as much. So I think you got to look at it that way.

56:45Jason Stewart:Yeah, okay. And if you're afraid that you have to ask other people to do you a favor to platform you for your project that you don't like that you have to do, the more famous you get, the more you'll be doing them a favor by appearing on their podcast interview, whatever it is.

57:04Cazzie David:To be clear, we're doing you a favor right now. I just want to be very clear.

57:08Jason Stewart:I just want to be up front about that.

57:11Chris Black:I'm certainly not doing you guys anything worse.

57:14Jason Stewart:We're bullish on David, but you know.

57:17Chris Black:We'll probably be your most hated episode. No, no way. No, no, no.

57:20Jason Stewart:This will be the second most hated. The first time you came on still is number one.

57:26Chris Black:Let's look at the rankings. Don't look at the Reddit, Kazzy.

57:28Jason Stewart:Don't look at the Reddit.

57:29Chris Black:You guys, I talked to Kareem, the Subway Takes guy. Of course. And he was like, you probably are top three most hated takes.

57:39Cazzie David:With subway takes, with Kareem, I think that's a badge of honor. I think that means you did the best job.

57:44Chris Black:Well, it's crazy because some people go on there and are like, love is the most important thing. It's like, hey, that's not a take.

57:54Cazzie David:I got killed for mine, but I thought it was really innocuous. But maybe that makes people even more mad. What was yours? Well, mine was bath mats are disgusting. I think they're gross. There's no reason to have one. People got very upset.

58:07Chris Black:Don't you know? At least it's something.

58:09Cazzie David:Hang it up to dry. And I'm like, dude, yeah, I know how they work. I just think they're gross.

58:13Chris Black:The definition of a take is something that is going to be different. It's not everyone's supposed to agree with it.

58:21Jason Stewart:Well, if you want to do a hot take, there's a hot take, there's a cold take, and there's a subway take. Who knows what that means?

58:26Cazzie David:What was your? What was your?

58:28Chris Black:So mine was like that I think naps are insane and disgusting. Oh, that's perfect.

58:36Cazzie David:Yeah, I think that's exactly what I mean. That's exactly what should have been said.

58:40Chris Black:The one that I saw yesterday was races shouldn't mix. When I say this is the most hate I've ever gotten for talking about naps, people still comment and are like, go to hell.

58:50Jason Stewart:Like you should be... Nap army woke up and came for your ass.

58:55Cazzie David:Once you are tagged in your subway tag, you will get an update about someone hating you for the rest of your life. No joke. Every day, there's an alert being like, you don't know how bathmat works, you fucking idiot. Why don't you have any hair? It's like, dude, whoa, hey, hey.

59:13Chris Black:I forgot I even did this. No, I was very careful, too. Also, I had to think of a take that wasn't privileged because that's the first thing anyone's going to say about me. They're just going to be like, you're a privileged bitch. shut the fuck up. Right? So when I, I was trying to think of something also innocuous and I was like, okay, this is foolproof for privilege because no, you can't, if you're privileged, you can take naps during the day.

59:37Jason Stewart:I would agree with you.

59:38Chris Black:You have the privilege to sleep during the day.

59:41Jason Stewart:When you're in Delta one, they should put the suitcase up there for you. I shouldn't have to do it myself. Something like that. You want to avoid.

59:48Chris Black:And the way people surprised me that they could find a way to make this privilege. They can find it. We're basically like, you've never been tired enough to take a nap because you're so privileged.

1:00:00Cazzie David:You've never been tired enough to take a nap is fire. That's really, really good. But that honestly, it really is. It is. I guess I forget. And that is the to me, Subway Takes is the greatest reminder of this as a when you as a participant is how wide this Internet is. You know, like these are not people who like you. They don't know who you are. They don't give a fuck about what you've done. They just hate what you said and want to tell you they hated it.

1:00:28Jason Stewart:Yeah, it's not your fault. It's the algorithm's fault. I think it's beautiful.

1:00:31Chris Black:Well, I'll tell you the worst part, which is that I wasn't really aware of the subway lighting when I was going on. Go on. And the bags under my eyes.

1:00:43Cazzie David:I feel like you've taken a train before.

1:00:45Chris Black:Did not help the take.

1:00:46Cazzie David:Oh, they were like, bitch, you need a nap.

1:00:49Chris Black:Yeah. Stuff like that. People actually at some point started commenting just the bag emoji.

1:00:57Jason Stewart:If you napped more, maybe you wouldn't be so ugly.

1:01:01Chris Black:There was almost like a writer's room competition for like how, like there were people like being like you, your eye bags are the size of airport luggage. And then someone else would come in being like, they look like.

1:01:15Jason Stewart:So someone's like, I need 50 takes on this one by lunch. All right. And they're like going through all the tags. That's what it felt like.

1:01:20Chris Black:I mean.

1:01:21Jason Stewart:Correct.

1:01:21Cazzie David:I think it's I did not I really was not prepared I didn't know how I mean I knew how popular we're pretty close with Kareem like I'm familiar with how popular he is in his business I was not prepared

1:01:32Chris Black:for the no one could ever win yeah of it all like there's no one that is going to say something that

1:01:39Cazzie David:people aren't going to be like you're a fucking idiot there's no way that's the fun I don't know

1:01:43Chris Black:after I really made the mistake of never going through the comments before I went on it and like and not really understanding it. And I did apologize on his Instagram, by the way, because I just want to stop. I had seen him. Never apologize. I had to apologize to the napping community. They were really upset.

1:02:05Cazzie David:Well, that is the other thing it teaches you. When they wake up, they're going to be pissed. There's a community for everything, and that's the problem. There's a community for everything.

1:02:12Chris Black:Also, every time I've taken a nap, I wake up. I feel like, oh my God, what year is it? Like I'm going to, I feel like I'm going to die.

1:02:21Jason Stewart:Is it day? Is it night? You're privileged enough to have blackout curtains. So, you know, this can be tough, but you know, I feel the same way. I used to nap. It was a sign of depression. Now I never nap. No, I'll nap. You know what I do? I sleep when it's sleep time.

1:02:33Chris Black:Yeah. But people are like, what's wrong with you? There's obviously something wrong with you. Well, there's a lot wrong with you.

1:02:38Jason Stewart:You're like, I don't know. I don't work in a coal mine like you, bitch.

1:02:40Cazzie David:Yeah. I don't nap. I take naps occasionally. It depends on the workout. Sometimes if the workout in the morning is too hard, I will crash at 1 or 2 o 'clock.

1:02:48Chris Black:How can you have time to work out in the morning and take a nap in the day?

1:02:52Cazzie David:That nap would be later. Chris will show you. It's like a 15-minute between calls. I'm going to lay down.

1:02:58Chris Black:You can go unconscious for 15 minutes in the day.

1:03:02Cazzie David:No, I wouldn't call it a nap. I would call it more of a lie down. I'm not getting to a point of REM sleep. You don't feel refreshed.

1:03:11Chris Black:The take wasn't you shouldn't lie down.

1:03:13Cazzie David:I know.

1:03:15Chris Black:You should have lied down and closed your eyes.

1:03:17Cazzie David:Well, I think we're getting into sort of the nuts and bolts here that might be a little confusing when it's just simply a take, quote unquote.

1:03:23Jason Stewart:Let me be clear. I lied down, okay? I just want to say, first and foremost, I lie down all day every day.

1:03:28Cazzie David:It's a privilege. My body doesn't even hurt when I do it.

1:03:31Chris Black:It was brutal, you guys.

1:03:32Jason Stewart:Did you gain a lot of followers, though, guys?

1:03:35Chris Black:No, I can't imagine I did.

1:03:36Jason Stewart:I famously have never done it or been asked. My takes are probably going to be too hot.

1:03:40Chris Black:And nor should, by the way, I had a, I had way hotter takes.

1:03:44Jason Stewart:Same.

1:03:45Chris Black:And one I could have really been canceled for.

1:03:47Jason Stewart:Go ahead. Okay, drop it now, queen.

1:03:49Chris Black:I don't think I should do that. It's really bad. I think it's probably fine. I'm going to tell you, but you have to promise you can cut it.

1:03:57Cazzie David:Yeah, of course. We cut everything.

1:03:58Chris Black:Okay. It was a. So. So.

1:04:09Chris Black:illegal against the law but the punishment yeah famously punishment is actually on this in the same circumstance all right the way my publicist just text me being like i'm gonna kill myself don't worry we'll take it out this is on this you have to take this out on the same okay in the same circumstance by people who volunteer for the government to be Oh, I see.

1:04:33Cazzie David:I see.

1:04:33Chris Black:I see.

1:04:33Jason Stewart:Okay, so it's not like a jury where they've been selected at random as their civic duty to... These are people who volunteer. And also, you're able to get it out of your system without breaking the law. It's a government sanctioned... Cassie, with the utmost love and respect, thank God that you did not share this.

1:04:53Cazzie David:Thank God. I'm glad that you lived this the other day. I'm glad that delusions, essays, is going to be in stores everywhere in just a few days. Thank God that you're here with us today on How Long Gone. And we appreciate your time. And we'll make sure to go kind of behind the scenes and ask Kareem to make sure you never do subway takes again.

1:05:16Chris Black:Yeah, thank you.

1:05:17Jason Stewart:They should do subway takes after dark where you can really let that bad stuff spray a little bit. Maybe we'll steal that idea from him.

1:05:24Cazzie David:Yeah, that's fine. He would be happy to license that.

1:05:26Chris Black:Well, you guys know there's a podcast for every show now. like literally every show there's a podcast for that comes on after oh yeah we know you guys could have the official subway takes that's really funny come say the really fucked up stuff to us

1:05:40Cazzie David:kareem's like at home with his child like yeah you guys do whatever you want we don't give a

1:05:44Jason Stewart:he's at home watching bluey give me the racist stuff let's get into it give me the hate speech all right kazzy thank you okay we will cut that even though it was quite funny you can do uh thank you guys doing some stand-up or something like that but yeah your book delusions a collection of essays is out march 3rd march 3rd 2026 i'm sure you can pre-order wherever you pre-order books

1:06:04Cazzie David:and um hopefully we see you soon it was a pleasure as always thank you guys good to see you wait

1:06:10Chris Black:don't leave yet we just have to we just have to go over one thing okay i was staring at the sky just looking for a star to pray on or wish on something like that i was having a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy whose reality I knew was a hopeless to be had.

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