912. - Chris & Jason

8:16Chris Black:I did not watch that. Look, I don't want to pile on because I think the media has been hard enough on Kelly and Sharon. But man, honestly. Let's get into it.

8:28Jason Stewart:Let's get into it.

8:29Chris Black:Kelly, that's the crazy. It's the craziest shit. Maybe the craziest shit I've ever seen. That might be the craziest physical transformation. Because people are talking about Jim Carrey because now he looks like Ellen DeGeneres. And I think that for some reason, all men over 50 that start getting fillers and Botox look like lesbians. I don't care how expensive the doctor is. You come out. It's crazy. I don't understand why it works like that.

8:54Jason Stewart:Yeah, whatever happened to a chiseled, grizzled man? You know, let's get it. Some good dick under up all these wrinkles and crinkles. You know what I mean?

9:02Chris Black:Jim Carrey looked good. It's not like he looked bad for his age. Like, he looked good.

9:05Jason Stewart:I don't know. I don't know. He looked like a fucking Norwegian dolphin. No, I disagree. dolphin no i disagree i think he looks psycho no he looks he looks like an evil prime minister

9:16Chris Black:from a nation we don't know dude i would rather look like that than what he looks like now

9:20Jason Stewart:well you're you're biased because you're super anti jim carrey and his and his humor i'm i'm sort of neutral on it i'm not a i'm not one of my goats but i know that you're averse to him i hate

9:30Chris Black:his humor it's because it's not funny because you're an ace ventura hater well if you making faces isn't funny sorry i'm not a child um but the the the again i'm saying the transformation i guess what i mean is that there is something for men and women to be said about aging gracefully and looking your age but like well maintained like he's in good shape he's got a full head of hair you know what i mean like it's not like i'm saying there's a dignified way to age and i think a guy like that especially because i feel like before now that i've now that his face looks like a fucking balloon with lipstick on it i feel like i feel like before honestly does he look good or

10:07Jason Stewart:does he look like a balloon with lipstick on no he looked no i'm saying he looked better he looked

10:11Chris Black:good before he got this plastic sir like he was aging he was aging in an appropriate way

10:15Jason Stewart:and i also he should have gone preventative but he went gut reno he overhauled something that

10:22Chris Black:didn't need to be hauled yeah yeah i mean i i also think that a guy like that if you age the right way which seemed like that was the direction it was going in you could have a weird third act in your career where you get serious like you do something different you know what i mean because you look sort of you have that gravitas because you've aged you know it gives you a different it gives people like a different a different look at you like maybe you should be doing that when

10:48Jason Stewart:you're the age of sharon osborne versus the age of kelly osborne yeah sharon osborne's got one foot

10:54Chris Black:the grave i mean that's you know that's it's fine like who cares do it when you're 73 not when you're

10:59Jason Stewart:40 kelly osborne is our age probably yeah i don't know something like that generally our age the but yeah mom mama looks like a ventriloquist doll because i think just once you yeah she's for kelly is 41 yeah yeah mom looks like the ventriloquist doll just as you get older you know people kind of shrink and certain people and and body types shrink even more so yeah yeah but yeah i mean the Kelly the Kelly cheekbones are really I don't know it really it reminds me of like when I was a kid and I would go on like Pirates of the Caribbean at Disneyland and they would have all these little like skulls from like Polynesian monkeys and stuff lying around like she looks like Punch the monkey like it looks like she has has the skull of a small cute little monkey like what is she going

11:48Chris Black:to do now do you know what i mean is this just how she looks for the rest of time i think i think

11:52Jason Stewart:she's just once she once she hits her goal weight then she'll finally be able to chill

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15:06Chris Black:long her goal weight seems to be death though that's my that's what i'm trying to say it's like it's not like i understand wanting to lose 10 of course especially if you're in the spotlight there's a lot of pressure on women to do so which is unfair but she has gone to a point that is like If you're her husband, are you just like, life is good, I don't care? Or are you like, yo, bitch, you've got to chill. I ain't trying to fuck on Skeletor.

15:32Jason Stewart:I mean, I don't want to make light of people's issues, whatever they may have, physical or mental or whatever.

15:43Chris Black:Yeah, we never do that.

15:44Jason Stewart:We never do that. I'm saying that... I said I don't want to, but her lips are... her mouth is wide are wider than her ears. If that may, just something about it has gone into a place where I feel like she's like this elegant alien creature that can like suck my soul out of my nose. You know what I mean?

16:06Chris Black:I don't, I just don't know what's going to happen. And I feel like it's, it's, it's people are like, you know, you got to stop. Don't, you know, you can't talk about appearance, you know, blah, blah, blah. And I'm, I get that to some extent, but on the other side of the coin, it's like, if you look like that and you're doing that to yourself and you're spending a fortune to do it i think you probably want people to talk about it you know what i mean i think there's a little bit i think there's a little bit of you that knows that this is going to garner

16:29Jason Stewart:attention it's almost as if she spent her entire formative childhood being yeah uh an overweight girl in the spotlight of the world and was dealing with that her entire life it's almost as if she's reacting to that but i guess that's just sharon osborne's fault for putting their family life and putting her young children on TV like that.

16:53Chris Black:Well, there's famously the other daughter that refused to do that. Yeah. There's the other daughter that was like, I want no part of this.

17:00Jason Stewart:She's probably looking healthy.

17:01Chris Black:Who still, I don't, I mean, I know what she looks like, but I don't see her. You know what I mean? She's still not in any part of public life. But yeah, I don't, but that is, also I hate Black Sabbath. I don't care about that. I don't want to, the tributes to Black Sabbath bring out the dustiest guys on earth. like it's unbelievable the dust level that they uncover for that

17:21Jason Stewart:well I think this sort of marks the end of the wake of Ozzy Osbourne so I think the nail is in the supreme coffin of you having to you know bear witness to this level of sabbathery

17:38Chris Black:I don't know I think Youngblood can always find a way you know I think Youngblood can always find a way we're gonna be watching Grammys 2029

17:45Jason Stewart:fucking Billie Eilish and Phineas gonna do no more tears cover break into it fucking it's never gonna end do it chris well i think there's a part and i'm like where was y 'all when ozzy osbourne was alive no one was fucking listening to ozzy osbourne music since 1989 no shit that's not true the supreme employees listen to it for

18:06Chris Black:sure in the store that you can you can catch the you can catch supreme on sunset blasting black sabbath for sure that's okay okay otherwise though i think to scare the koreans away i don't think that no i think they just are enjoying the music i think they're just enjoying the music nothing nothing nothing will scare them away is what i'm trying to say okay okay yeah i don't i i did also this morning um i watched uh connor's story on snl and i'm saving it for dinner tonight it was he's better than a lot of people i'll say that i think he's a real you know he's got it well he's just like a real thespian who was like you know like in the theater when he was 10 and like loves it so he's gonna like over there was the skit that was the best that got cut was um a Tourette's joke it was really good like it was all these people playing different celebrities that are have been canceled okay and them claiming that they just have Tourette's it was it was very funny there's a we we brought back Bill Cosby there was a Mel Gibson one of the guys does an

19:05Jason Stewart:amazing Louis CK I was just gonna say as soon as you as soon as you said that I was like this is a role that keenan will destroy whoever he's gonna play bill i mean keenan's bill cosby is a hall of

19:17Chris Black:fame a hall of fame uh of course but i but i just i thought he was i mean the the whatever i i thought he was like he was better i mean it's it's it's like i think a guy like that weirdly wants it more than most people so he's gonna like over deliver and show up you know in a way in a way that I think like a really really famous person is like I have to do this to promote a movie and like I like it but it's like another thing I have to do you know it's like another week of my

19:45Jason Stewart:life that I have to work too hard and it's such a shame because I think I don't think anyone thought he was going to do a bad job I haven't seen it so I don't know but it seems like everyone is Gagarin 'o over it and I just it's such a missed op and I know that there's all million reasons but But to have fucking Mumford & Sons is such, like, we are so close to being back. And then you had to do some fucking Mumford & Sons.

20:09Chris Black:The Sons were, it's, they're one of those classic, like, watching them on Saturday Night Live is, like, everything is so well done. Like, they're playing, they got all these fucking guys on stage playing horns and fucking banjos and, you know, like, backup singers. like it sounds amazing but there's just nothing about it that i want to hear it's just not you know it's totally it's so pro and well done and it's like aaron desner's on i mean i don't know they brought out they brought out hozier for the single i guess um but like i said like i said to you i was a little bit like i know they're british and i know they've stolen country music valor from us and that's fine but the song with hozier is called rubber band man which when i heard that

20:56Jason Stewart:I almost I feel like you know whatever 15 years ago I heard some like weird Al Yankovic style like bluegrass banjo cover definitely of rubber band man you know what I mean if you're if you're if

21:08Chris Black:you're a young person listening to show rubber band man is a classic classic ti atlanta rapper ti song that I believe is I mean to me that's a hall of famer that one that one kind of hangs in the rafters especially from his catalog yeah um but so for these for these um gentlemen to come in uh from the uk and bring their other irish friend and do the song rubber band man do you think that they checked in with ti like do you think they had to do you think they had to check in

21:39Jason Stewart:with ti and tiny hozier hozier facetime with tiny and they said it's all good do you think hozier

21:44Chris Black:had to FaceTime a member of BMF to kind of get this cleared. And question, when Mumford & Sons is on tour, can they play Rubber Band Man in Atlanta?

21:57Jason Stewart:Imagine if, you know, I think it's fine now that, you know, T.I. is just, you know, a 50-year-old dad who's probably not so, I mean, I don't know if he was ever necessarily a gang-affiliated drug dealer, as he talked about in his songs. But I think that they'll be fine. And I think that it's more likely to have, they're more likely to have T.I. come on stage and perform it together. That's actually true. You know, a Diplo's stagecoach honky-tonk rave than T.I. is busy dealing with 50 Cent.

22:33Chris Black:T.I. and his family have collectively destroyed 50 Cent, which I didn't think, I just didn't see that coming. Because 50 Cent, one of our world's greatest pranksters, uh no that's with a an a and s you know not errs respectively prankster is is he's sort of been humbled by the the harris family um which i and it's humbled by the harris is the new keeping up with the kardashians it's part it's part in part because i think that ti for being as dusty and old head and atlanta crooked fitted as he is i think he he sort of was like i'm just gonna rap about how stupid you are. And that is somehow in today's world and maybe in hip hop only, it seemed to work better than a meme for the first time ever.

23:22Chris Black:Like it seems like, it seems like because 50 Cent won't wrap.

23:25Jason Stewart:So you're saying a bar is kind of the original meme. That's very interesting.

23:28Chris Black:A bar is kind of original meme, but I was just sort of like, wow, this seems to have worked and in a way that I wouldn't have expected it to because I thought the only currency we traded in in modern times were memes.

23:41Jason Stewart:I mean, it went from memes to the 50 heel play games with getting surveillance footage of Jim Jones being locked out of his storage container facility or resort to petty stuff like that. But I like it returning to rapping using their skills. I mean, it's the same thing as just we're bringing back some battle rapping, but we're creating this Korean micro drama narrative story that's playing out on social media. so there's more reason. It's like the R. Kelly trapped in the closet. I heard T.I. released another freaking diss track about how 50 Cent's mom is fat or whatever. You know what I mean? Take it?

24:18Jason Stewart:They're all in on it. They're all friends. They're all just doing this so they can have.

24:22Chris Black:I don't think they're all friends. I don't think that when your son, your son who looks like he's never seen light, goes and takes a picture of your dead mother's grave and posts it on IG. I don't think, for some reason, because in hip-hop there's and this is something i've also been reminded of by listening to joe budden there's like different rules like you there's stuff that you like quote unquote can't do whereas white people white people will do whatever they don't give a shit there's like certain things that you don't lines you don't cross and i believe that that dead mama you don't you don't touch another man's maybach yeah i think a dead mama is high up on the list of things that you don't do so taking a picture of the grandmother's grave and being like here's this dead bitch or whatever

25:04Jason Stewart:he said is is pretty well first of all ti son probably hired a task rabbit to do that i don't

25:10Chris Black:he probably never left his goon cage i disagree he don't got much going on i think he could actually be the one that went no you're right i think he probably used google he used google image search found a picture of 50 cents mom's gray but also i believe if i'm not mistaken he posted that shit on grid too he didn't even go that wasn't a story that was on grid personal grid

25:29Jason Stewart:Well, what I'm saying is, you know, is that such a crazy low blow? You're violating one of the unspoken hip-hop rules of warfare? Or did 50 Cent come up with that idea and say that it would be cool if you did that?

25:43Chris Black:No, you're turning into too much of a conspiracy theorist. There's no...

25:47Jason Stewart:No, I'm just saying, you know, if the world stage is just the same as, you know, basically WWF and soap opera level narratives and stories with people that exist half in real life and half in fake life, then who is to say there isn't a Vince McMahon pulling all these strings? Me. I'm saying that. There's not.

26:06Chris Black:I'm saying when Jacob Elordi and Margot Robbie are promoting a movie and talking about how they trust each other and giving each other gifts and wearing matching rings, that to me, I know what's going on there. We're trying to sell Wuthering Heights. That's totally fine. everybody knows that's historic Hollywood I don't think those games, I don't think that level of puppeteering has reached like dusty hip hop guys I just don't think that is I don't think that those two things are meeting each other in the middle

26:34Jason Stewart:Once you finally crack that third eye just let me know and we can get into it We can go fucking beast mode on this one

26:40Chris Black:My eye is cracked, just cracked though I need glasses, that's the problem

26:45Jason Stewart:Shout out to a friend of the show, Glaive for bagging him Alyssa Liu figure skater gold medal winner the gone effect at it again

26:56Chris Black:which part is the gone effect a white guy dating an Asian woman or something else

27:03Jason Stewart:that's one petal of the flower sure just somebody who's to say that she didn't get put on to glaive from how long gone podcast

27:16Chris Black:once again I am here to say that I am here to say that that she has probably put on. You asked who? Me. Me. But I'm happy that Glaive has found love. Is this confirmed or has there just been multiple pictures of them at like Benihana together?

27:31Jason Stewart:I don't know if it's confirmed, but people are sending me, I say once a day, a woman somewhere sends me like a TikTok where they're like triangulating like luggage in the back of photos from three months ago. And like, this person's bag was here and that means she's in his green room here and a whole thing. So I don't know if they're actually dating or not, but people want to.

27:55Chris Black:Well, I'm going to.

27:57Jason Stewart:It's just like the. I'll ship them. The Leo DiCaprio pointing at the TV thing. Every time somebody sees Glaive do something, they want to send it to me because he's sort of our little golden child.

28:06Chris Black:I need to tap in with. I think we should go visit Glaive's home. It's not a bad idea. I think we should go to his house because I wanted to see how Glaive is living because part of me thinks he has like four very high-end pieces of furniture and an 85-inch TV and that's it. And part of me thinks he has nothing and sleeps on a towel. But either thing could be true.

28:27Jason Stewart:I think he has two homes and both of those are correct.

28:30Chris Black:Yeah, and he might have a – yeah, I could also see him having like an electric Hummer or a Civic. There's like no in-between with him. It feels like a real all-in guy.

28:39Jason Stewart:And he can make the electric Hummer cool. You know what I mean? That's what I'm the most worried about.

28:43Chris Black:In Asheville, you got to have electric. You know what I mean? They don't love the guy. They don't love the gas guzzlers over there. If you got a hum. If you got a hum.

28:50Jason Stewart:We don't do it with no crew. Especially what's going on in the Middle East.

28:53Chris Black:That's true. We all have to drive electric soon.

28:56Jason Stewart:We can't rely on the fossil fuels. We should do a little recap of our Tom of Finland fiesta for freeze. Thanks to Silencio and Tom of Finland for having us host a party with you. I didn't really get to see you at all. We had dinner before. and then you dropped me our rylan dropped me off i ran in and started playing and then that was it i you texted me great job you killed it i'm out of here well i was after i finished so i mean i'm not saying this is good or bad i'm just saying i don't know i don't know what happened i didn't really hang out with anybody the whole time i was djing you know i was just

29:34Chris Black:solo so you know tell me what happened i didn't really hang out with anybody either it's a strange this phenomenon the phenomenon that you're speaking of has crossed over to the audience as well as the talent i i sort of i hung out with i was talking to ryland because we just haven't seen each other in a while so we were catching up and you know carolyn had you know eight gay guys with her that i didn't know and then you know the lot the line was one of the craziest lines i've maybe ever seen and that's not that's not patting myself or you on the back it was just sort of like i feel like the world conspired to make that line happen because the club was also packed like they were they were letting people in it wasn't like a you know what i mean it was it wasn't like a door hold situation um right but i got the text that tim and and mikey and maddie were at the door and as much as i wanted to make them suffer for my own pleasure i did go upstairs and then when i saw what was going on i was like this is fucking absolute od so i just i was like lynn can these three please come with me and then i'm gonna leave you alone for the rest of the night

30:37Jason Stewart:i don't want i i can't i was getting flashbacks of when i would do the door at cine space and like the i would go down there to like get a friend in and you know the security team would be like save yourself man just you don't want to come down here and you don't want to see this man

30:52Chris Black:My question is, and this is something that you'll be able to shine a light on, and the dichotomy, the relationship, the working relationship of the door person that is in this day and age maybe with an iPad or a clipboard because there's no longer just eyeballs, you know, and the security guard. Obviously, they're working together, but then at a certain point, I believe they're working against each other. They're at odds because the person that wants to let people in is not allowed because they've hit a quote-unquote capacity that someone has whispered in the doorman's ear. How do you navigate that situation when you want your friends to get in?

31:33Chris Black:It's your party. It's lit. But the security guard is kind of like, hey, man, the club owner told me this, this, X, Y, Z.

31:40Jason Stewart:Just proper management. How do you get creative to mesh well with accounting? You know what I mean? It's tough. One person's trying to paint the picture of the other person, trying to keep you on budget or whatever, and you're at odds. You've got to work together. I think you just have to form an empathetic friendship with the other side and have a nice little back and forth, a little compromise, a little one for you, a little one for them. Hey, let in one of your security guard friends. I'll let you bring in one of those if you get 10 of my people in right now. Whatever it is you've got to do just to get things moving.

32:14Chris Black:So it's just, it's like Trump, you know, trying to broker a deal. You're just kind of trying to figure it out. Okay. Yeah. That makes sense.

32:23Jason Stewart:And just like Trump, you typically don't get the job done.

32:26Chris Black:That I know for a fact.

32:27Jason Stewart:You just kind of nervously smoke cigarettes and look at your phone every minute until it says 159.

32:36Chris Black:But the party, you were really in your bag. I thought that was kind of the perfect audience for you. I agree. I agree.

32:43Jason Stewart:It was a pleasure.

32:44Chris Black:it was gay but it wasn't like i don't know it didn't seem it wasn't i've been to gayer parties i'll say that yeah you know it was it was even though tom of finland was was you know top villain

32:54Jason Stewart:it wasn't it wasn't leather daddy od yeah they were yeah i've been to gayer events as well for sure so it was it could have been gayer but i think that's also like a little 2026 energy where you know all of these safe spaces are maybe a little too open to everyone you know what i mean

33:12Chris Black:yeah oh yeah definitely open there i mean i also think every like young people are all just gay so you can't tell you know what i mean it's a little bit of a it's it's who knows what's going on in there but it was it was yeah it was really fun and i had a good time and i was happy with my you know we went to svb we had dinner i went to the party i was there for two hours had a good time was in bed by midnight so it was kind of a great a great situation for me i i didn't i saw a little bit of harvey um that is not really my thing but it seemed i didn't realize that he's like having the time of his life like i i was really inspired by that i have to say i was just like oh this guy is having the time of his life and he's been doing this forever yeah so for that

33:51Jason Stewart:to to still be able to he's like he's like a he's like a if if austin powers was sexy and cool you

33:57Chris Black:know what i mean if he was like a hot guy i just was like this guy's having the time of his life and he's literally done this every night for 30 years like that's that's you that's you know it's rare you see someone really pick the right job yeah i agree with that i agree with that and i

34:09Jason Stewart:was i was it was funny i was watching him dj and just admiring how much he really is just like a vibes guy selecta like he just has his song his mp3s on a file there's no bpms there's no you know cue points or no anything it's as if he's but he just knows all this old music for so long he's played it so long that in his mind he knows exactly what to do and when to do it and there's no planning or preparation he just kind of you somebody points him in front of the in front of the crowd and you know seven hours goes by and the the bottle of the bottle of whiskey's done and he's he's smiling the whole time it's just such a unique thing to see nowadays yeah i agree it's beautiful too because like so many like no djs put on a song they love that's 11 minutes long and then dance and you know talk to chicks and have a cigarette and you know whatever it is and then you know oh 10 minutes have passed time to start picking out my next song to dance to everyone else is just so focused on like getting a video clip of them doing an epic drop while they do this you know whatever you know it's so ass backwards like nobody remembers that it's about

35:22Chris Black:dancing there's definitely i mean that was a dance there was a crowd that was dancing quite a lot i will say that it wasn't a stand there look at your phone audience which i know is good for your

35:32Jason Stewart:business it was great to play all these songs that i've been like opening my set with for 10 years that no one's ever danced to and have a room full of people dance to it it was oh i see i see it it works it works in your favor but i i really wish that i played the whole night though you know not selfishly i mean selfishly speaking because i was i was just you know tapping the tip and i never really got a chance to really slide all the way in wow that's uh that's a little graphic but sure i know what you mean i know i apologize it's okay i'll let i'll let you slide nope two hours of me tapping the tongue you know what i mean well that was uh yeah yeah that's that's exactly that's exactly what i experienced let's go pay some bills all right this episode

36:17Chris Black:of how long gone is brought to you by cheers we're up early we got workouts we're traveling we're tracking our sleep score but after the age of 30 which unfortunately we are even responsibly drinking a little booze will make you feel less than 100 % the next day and look there are obviously more negative effects from alcohol than just dehydration otherwise how could alcohol be hard on your brain and liver it has a depressant effect on specific receptors in your brain and it's toxic to your liver that's bad Jason what can we do is there a fix for this

36:49Jason Stewart:you think is there a way to sort of hack this that is bad chris there is a good one you know i like to drink i like to put them down a little bit certain alcohols give me certain feelings and headaches and bad feelings you know when i drink wine i'll get a little you know i won't be feeling so good the next day compared to something else and that's where i like to grab a little cheers they appeared over on shark tank let's go and now cheers is sold in over 30 000 stores walgreens CVS 7-Eleven, all that stuff served over 50 million doses. So that's why we reach for Cheers, Chris. You're going to feel at least 50 % better the next day or your money back.

37:28Jason Stewart:Basically, two drinks feels like one the next morning. All you do is take three capsules after your last drink or before bed. I've taken it. Start your day and your morning better with Cheers. A limited time our listeners get 20 off their entire order by using promo code howlongat cheershealth.com just head to cheershealth.com and use promo code howlong for 20 off after your purchase they will ask you where you heard about them please support our show and let them know we sent you this episode

38:03Chris Black:of how long gone is brought to you by superpower superpower jason yeah recently i went to see the old doctor you know and i i left the medical facility in beverly hills and uh i just i felt like i didn't get any good info you know it was sort of like you're fine uh drink more water

38:21Jason Stewart:now try this and let me know in three months and i said that doesn't seem very efficient am i even

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40:04Chris Black:Know yourself, know your worth, Jason. Make this the year you stop guessing about your health with Superpower. Not only did Superpower reduce their price to just$199, but for a limited time, our listeners at HowLongGone get an additional$20 off with code HOWLONG. Head to superpower.com and use code HOWLONG at checkout for$20 off your membership. after you sign up they'll ask how you heard about them and make sure you mention this podcast to support the show this episode of how long gone is brought to you by our dear friends at better help we are back with better help jason sometimes it can feel like everyone else has it all together in their love lives you know i'm talking about whether married dating or single the truth is most of us are still figuring it out and finding our way and no matter where you are in your romantic journey therapy can help you find your way help you determine what you want what feels heavy and how you can take some pressure off of yourself.

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41:55Chris Black:i i thought it was uh but i just didn't i don't know i haven't seen that sort of line for a night i feel like now those lines are reserved for matcha and like sweet treats so it's it's like it's like jarring to see a nightlife line because that's that used to be the only place i would ever experience a line besides like tsa not that i was waiting in them of course but i would see them you know what i mean but i'm saying that now it's like you see lines so often that seeing one at night is almost threw me off i was like oh shit i forgot people do this i totally forgot people do

42:28Jason Stewart:it and it used to be a thing that you would drive by you drive all through hollywood all through manhattan all through whatever downtown of their big city and there'd be 100 people 50 people 200 people in line here and you'd be like oh that spot's lit tonight i just drove past one oak and there's fucking you know it's too crazy let's go here instead so you don't see it at all anymore no definitely not so it was cool to cool to do that but i was thinking about it like why because everyone is like man this party was so fun it was so great why can't stuff be like this more often and you know it wasn't a free bar like drinks there are expensive it's at an expensive hotel in los angeles like it was free to get in and there's two djs and just know anything else just like that's it yeah it was almost as if we were at like i don't know like in burning man or tulum or like we were in a different location in the world we were all at you know the grand caymans in the nightclub or whatever and we're all going to come together and do this thing like we we could be doing this every week but i guess you just need like that's the problem you need a brand you need a brand to you know spit out 50 grand or whatever i think the problem is is that

43:37Chris Black:it's either a special everything has to be tied to a brand or a special event or it's like people smoking 100 cigarettes at the irish bar they were talking about last night on fairfax there's no i don't i don't think tom berrigan i don't think the weekly party where it's just the music is good and it's fun exists anymore i think it's an a lululemon legging release you know dj dj'd by tanks and there's a thousand people here or it's or it's like we're gonna go to this shitty bar that has carpet and just because i want to hang out with my friends like music's not even part of it you know what i mean right right right because in our i mean this is this i'm i'm mostly here for the food truck photos we're showing our age here but it really was like you could go out every night and there was good not maybe not your type of good music but good music at least at least wednesday thursday friday saturday and a in a situation where there was a couple djs playing at a place that was cool and sometimes it would be hard to get in sometimes it wouldn't be but that's the that's just what it is and now it's it's literally it has to be branded or it has to

44:45Jason Stewart:be the complete opposite but i think a reason for that is even though we're living in a time of you know vibes only and vibe coding and vibe this and vibe that nobody is entering um restricted spaces is based on vibes alone anymore that's true so we need we need these private special events to do the the culling of the herd because we're too like there's where we don't trust clubs to control and be selective of who they're letting in they're just either neither is letting in people who are willing to pay money because you know we're just trying to stay open or we just don't know and it's just some dumb fucking 19 year old who's you know running down an rsvp list if you you know it doesn't matter if you're the shittiest person of all time if you send an rsvp come on in they don't you don't have any agency over what they're doing so they that that's why it doesn't we we don't trust clubs to control the crowd i i don't want to go to a bar or a club because i'm too afraid of it being full of goofies you can't take that chance well no everywhere well that's

45:52Chris Black:everywhere in the world now i can't go to the grocery store without being full of goofies that's the whole problem i mean well that's fine i don't mind about i don't mind being around

45:59Jason Stewart:goofies in the daytime but if i'm gonna go hang out socialize i want to see cool fun interesting sexy people and smoke cigarettes and drink with them and have laughs and jokes and not have some fucking sweaty guy be like remember the one time i've been following you like and you just got to talk to some guy that's why that's why you were well you shouldn't have gone to your own party

46:19Chris Black:the other night then because i did so i definitely did some of that thank god you were a dj

46:24Jason Stewart:look we were both busy that night okay no i know what you mean though i know you mean but i think that there's like a make door policy is great again that's over it's just never going to happen

46:33Chris Black:again it's just never going to happen again i i don't i don't think it'll be i i just think that there are things that i am able to hope for in life and i want to see them return and i just don't think that is going to happen i think culture has shifted too far away from it and it's it's bad for everybody it's as bad as as pink taking over the kelly clarkson show um that's how bad okay That's how far we've fallen.

46:54Jason Stewart:Me and DJ Harvey, the next time you can see us play together is on Twitch then.

46:57Chris Black:That's what I'm saying. I think the only way to DJ without losers being there is to do it on Twitch from your own house.

47:05Jason Stewart:Yeah, and you could tip me a virtual bump if I'm doing a good job.

47:10Chris Black:Yeah, just tip me a virtual bump. It's fine. You know which emoji to use. Don't act like you don't. I want to talk about this restaurant. So yesterday, Tim and I met you at Arcana, one of America's greatest bookstores in Culver City, one of America's worst neighborhoods. And Gus Van Zandt was doing a talk and a book signing.

47:32Jason Stewart:I was able to share a long glance with Kim Gordon as she was leaving the parking lot.

47:38Chris Black:Yeah, Kim doesn't want nothing to do with us.

47:40Jason Stewart:No, no, no. She gave me a smile. And I said, who, me? She did not give you a smile.

47:44Chris Black:I said, get out of here, Kimlet. Kim Gordon.

47:46Jason Stewart:Crazy kid.

47:47Chris Black:Kim what? Kim, get the fuck out of here. Get back in your Prius.

47:52Jason Stewart:Kim, I wish you were team follow back. Sorry, go ahead, Chris.

47:55Chris Black:Oh, she's not team follow back? She's not. That's tough. It's fucking bullshit. She will come on Hall of God. I've been talking to people in Kim Gordon's camp for multiple years, literally, about it. And it just, for whatever reason, it doesn't work out. She's got a book coming out. She's got this coming out. It just doesn't work out.

48:11Jason Stewart:Damn, she follows McCall's Meat and Fish, but does not engage with me? Come on, girl.

48:16Chris Black:Well, they provide her more of a service than you ever could. Quit playing around. Let's be real.

48:19Jason Stewart:I'll be there. I'll be at McCall's later this afternoon. Don't worry. We'll talk about it at a different time.

48:25Chris Black:So we went to this. It was great to see Jesse Pearson, a real New York legend, which I love to run into at Arcana. What a guy. But so we were trying to find a place to eat dinner in that general vicinity just because we were all going to be there. It's out of our normal zones in L.A., I would say.

48:43Jason Stewart:Food desert is what they call it.

48:44Chris Black:I was sort of pushing for, I had a Mexican agenda. I don't know what it was. I'd eaten SVB two nights in a row, so I can't see another shrimp cocktail. Put my head through the fucking wall. He was going torta hunting. I was, yeah. And you were like, look, I can't. I love how, no one else would ever text me this. You know, there's a couple places, but unfortunately they're not super friendly for you because the tortillas do have lard in them. Which I really respect how thorough you got with it. But so anyway, we were running out of options. Like, you know what? open this up to any genre any cuisine tj take the wheel it's all you know whatever it's all good and you're like let's go to super peach and i was like okay i that sounds like a video game but what what is that is that a mario kart level that i'm not familiar with and you're you explained to me it's a david chang restaurant at the century city mall so it's it's a it's a neutered major domo inside of one of the greatest malls in the world that's also known for having a diabolical parking lot.

49:45Jason Stewart:It's a minor domo. Yeah, it's like a really good airport restaurant or something, I don't know. But yeah, it was one of those things like when in Rome, I'm in Culver City, I'm not going to go eat at some dumb shit over there. Let's really go full balls deep and hit the Century City Mall on a Saturday night, walk around, see the dogs, see the strollers, pop into Aritzia, really do the damn thing. Yeah, if you're -

50:12Chris Black:Snoop around Viore. If you're at Culver's, if you're at an Aritzia, I didn't know this, Tim put us on. They've done a series of shopping bags with photographers. So there's a Jamie Hawksworth, there's a Greg Crudzen, I think there's a Juergen Teller. So it's the bag just has a picture. It's actually quite cool. Shout-outs goes out to our Aritzia girls. So we had to go into the Aritzia store and ask them to see a bag, which did make us look like some sort of pests. I'm not sure exactly what prefix we'll put on that.

50:40Jason Stewart:I felt like I was Tim's manager.

50:42Chris Black:Yeah, same. I wanted Tim to do the talking, but of course I did the talking. Anyway, we're walking around the mall. We go to Super Peach, and I need to say I loved it. I loved it. Everything was pro. It was nice. Everything was new. The service was good. The food was – I didn't have anything I didn't like.

51:05Jason Stewart:Okay.

51:06Chris Black:I didn't have anything I didn't like. Fabulous. I didn't have anything I didn't like. It was quite good. And I am a big Momofuku guy. I love the noodle bar, the East Village location. I've gone to quite a lot. And I do miss Chang sometimes.

51:19Jason Stewart:I remember you liked all the dishes, but the last dish you ordered, which was like a mushroom noodle dish, was more of just like a mushroom pasta. And it was funny watching you sort of navigate the waters of like, this doesn't taste Asian at all. And what did I say? it's it's too David not not not enough Chang on that plate exactly it was too yeah you're like not a nothing nothing Asian at all on this dish oh okay it's just interesting to see where where the fusion lines are drawn and you know what were the battles that you choose I should have given

51:53Chris Black:you a bite I didn't even think about it should have offered you a bite because I think I would you should have Chris well no I'm just saying I don't think the flavors are there and I'm positive they weren't there but maybe a super taster could have found something buried no no I trust your palate because when that dessert came out and you said you know i'm not really getting any yuzu on

52:11Jason Stewart:this at all i was like chris i'm so proud i said papa moment over here we had a we had a crazy

52:19Chris Black:because tim knew what yuzu was which blew me away and then i i i claimed i couldn't taste it no no

52:25Jason Stewart:i mean candy eaters who hang out with e-girls they know all about the flavor of yuzu

52:29Chris Black:that's true a guy's been to japan too many times and bought an extra suitcase for the stuff he bought they'd be knowing about yuzu um yeah but i i just uh i found the whole experience i just forget how good and comforting the malls are here because i you know occasionally i'll go to the grove when i'm back or whatever but like a mall of that level with the indoor outdoor on a beautiful night it just really it's and we also discovered well or rediscovered maybe with the neighborhood cheviot hills because we were driving in a direction we normally don't we were in beliny country last night cheviot hills is is is making me a west side apologist i love it i i've i've

53:09Jason Stewart:i've driven through there before don't let carolyn pull up in cheviot hills i'm gonna

53:14Chris Black:i'm gonna lose my fucking fucked you gotta my armenian power status is gonna be revoked real soon you gotta sell your cdjs to get it's a little bit more than that

53:27Jason Stewart:gonna let go of the sauna lots going down but it was really i just was like i've i've driven

53:31Chris Black:through this neighbor before and really liked it but it did feel it is it feels really nice i don't know what it is it doesn't feel as like fussy as beverly hills or as quite as as sleepy as like a i don't know what it is there's something in the air over there probably money is probably what it

53:48Jason Stewart:is but i think what what throws me off is because like living on the east side my whole life i have sort of the the it could be psychosomatic or or whatever just the feng shui of knowing where like the mountains are and like knowing my placement in the world in the landscape and i don't know when i'm over there you're just sort of plopped in the middle of a forest and i don't know what direction is north and south and i don't have a good lay of the land i feel unprotected almost

54:19Chris Black:It's kind of weird. And you're saying this is freeing or you don't like it?

54:22Jason Stewart:Yeah, this is a negative thing.

54:24Chris Black:Okay, okay, I got you.

54:25Jason Stewart:I could obviously learn to love living in Cheviot Hills, of course. Yeah, I think you could. Yeah, yeah.

54:30Chris Black:I could learn to live in Bel Air. I think I could find a way. I know what you mean. I know what you mean. But that mall really is special, and I need to remember that and try to make an effort more often to go out there. We'll do it.

54:43Jason Stewart:No, no, I go there a decent amount. Carolyn does some studio pulls over there at Bloomy's, and we got to go hit Eataly for the mustache yogurt. You already know what it is. I can't believe.

54:53Chris Black:Some rare canned tomatoes. What is the actual name of that yogurt? Dr. Mustache? Is that the name? Mr. Mustache? No, it's not that. It is White Mustache. White. Oh, wow. Okay. All right. The White Mustache. So it's giving got milk as far as the name goes. I would imagine that is.

55:09Jason Stewart:I think it's giving old Persian dad who has a white mustache.

55:14Chris Black:Okay. Do we know? I know the lore of this yogurt And how popular it is Not from you but also from several It's a known quantity What is the yogurt you got last night What was it? It was pistachio and honey?

55:28Jason Stewart:It was orange blossom and walnut

55:31Chris Black:Okay I'm sorry Orange blossom and walnut How much This is a single serve This is a regular single serve yogurt But it is in a glass package Which makes it a little nicer How much does that cost? because you said that it's hard to find and Eataly is one of the few places that retails it.

55:48Jason Stewart:It was like six or seven bucks. Oh, okay.

55:50Chris Black:So it's not crazy.

55:51Jason Stewart:It used to be more. I think because of their supply chain, they've been able to lower the price a little bit. But also, you know, the yogurt, I don't think they're doing it to make, it's not expensive because they're gouging you. I think it's just they're using like, it just costs them a lot of money to make yogurt this. Now I'm trying to. This level that they want.

56:10Chris Black:Because I've bought it before and I'm thinking now where I got it. And Alex was buying it. I think she was also buying an Eataly because there's that one in Soho. So now I'm like, is it? And you said Erwan is not, is it an Erwan thing? Or is it only like a specialty, like a cookbook?

56:24Jason Stewart:They have it. In Los Angeles, it's only Eataly. But in New York, you can get it in a lot of different places.

56:30Chris Black:That's so interesting to be on.

56:32Jason Stewart:They have it at Whole Foods in New York.

56:33Chris Black:Okay, that makes sense.

56:34Jason Stewart:Because it's from Brooklyn. It's made in New York. That's why.

56:37Chris Black:Oh, okay. I'm just surprised they haven't spread their wings a little more.

56:40Jason Stewart:You can get it at Citarella, Cafe Clementine, Eataly, Happier Grocery, Murray's. Oh, okay. Tin Building, Union Market. The list goes on, Chris.

56:50Chris Black:RIP to the Tin Building. I'm pouring out some Fiji right now for my homies.

56:55Jason Stewart:Just a little quick 195 mil down the drain.

56:57Chris Black:How much were they losing a day or a week? It was something crazy. It was more than a million dollars a week or something. That's some Drake-level losses right there. I mean, he's losing right now posing in that cactus plant flea market outfit with a little iguana on his back.

57:14Jason Stewart:You're not a fan of that capsule collection, I take it?

57:17Chris Black:You know what? I'm not even against the capsule collection. I just think the wrong people wear it. I think that is not for men, like adult men.

57:28Jason Stewart:I was going to say, who's the right kind of person? And you say women.

57:31Chris Black:No, I don't even mean women.

57:32Jason Stewart:Children? Children? Yeah. So it's age appropriate, 12-year-olds.

57:38Chris Black:If I got full matching cactus plant iguana fits for my nieces, that makes sense. But if you're a 43-year-old man with tattoos on your face, I don't think that is the move for you. I'll just never understand that.

57:55Jason Stewart:A person who can beat me up should not wear that. Yeah, that's all I'm saying. It just makes the world a wrong place to be in.

58:02Chris Black:It really turns me around when I see it. but I'm glad anytime Drake posts I'm happy to see it you know just making sure he's still alive you know checking the background of the photo for any huge Aperol spritzes to see how drunk he is how much money

58:17Jason Stewart:do you think he got for the OVO McDonald's collaboration in your professional opinion honestly

58:23Chris Black:I bet it's not that much I bet it because it's probably because it's Canadian budgets like it's that's the thing I think it's only McDonald's Canada so the budget is much smaller obviously than McDonald's

58:35Jason Stewart:you know global or okay give me a give me a ballpark number what three million well way less

58:40Chris Black:way less 750 maybe maybe really maybe less than i guess do you do you think do you think uh drake

58:48Jason Stewart:stock has gone down exponentially over the last couple years i just don't think i think it's i

58:53Chris Black:think those things are in some ways better for the artist than they are for mcdonald's to keep it a buck like mcdonald's don't need shit mcdonald's doesn't need travis scott or drake

59:02Jason Stewart:You're saying Drake should be paying McDonald's. I get it. That's smart.

59:05Chris Black:I think they're making a lot of money. I just don't think it's as much as people think. Because I think they're making it in other – they might do like a merch thing around it. You know what I mean? Like that's what Travis Scott did. He did all that merch and he made a fortune on the merch. And McDonald's knows that so they don't have to write as big of a check. I would think – I mean look, I know there's a million people listening to this who are involved in that deal and they're going to text me and tell me how wrong I am. But that's just a gut thing.

59:29Jason Stewart:Okay, well, whoever it is, tell me and let me know. I want to do a food partnership like that, but with a different company that I actually believe in and enjoy. And I can't think of one that has enough money to write a fat check and one that I would want to be a part of, you know what I mean? Like Del Taco probably, that's going to be a little three grand for that or something like that.

59:53Chris Black:I need some real... I just saw that Del Taco closed their Atlanta location. Sorry to hear that. but i really yeah i follow this guy on instagram that like i was racist he just reports on stuff that's closing in atlanta and i don't know why i because it's stuff i haven't heard of most of the time but i like to i just like i didn't know there's del taco at all so for it to close you know for it to close yeah i don't think there's any i mean i i would i mean like what i wonder what that would be now you really got me thinking because to me it would be a sandwich okay i mean

1:00:27Jason Stewart:I think if we did a Jimmy John collab, I think that's a good example of a brand that we believe in.

1:00:32Chris Black:I think a How Long Gone, I would do a How Long Gone Subway just for nostalgia vibes. Make Subway great again, right? Imagine if we were able to work with one of our friends in the baking industry to create a new Subway cookie. Imagine. Do a squirrel Subway cookie? Imagine if we do a foot-long squirrel cookie. Gluten-free? No. Well, let's pump the brakes.

1:00:56Jason Stewart:buckwheat flour it's a it's a it's a very long buckwheat financier with quince yeah there we go

1:01:03Chris Black:it's a little a little just a little pinch of quince on top yeah we the uh five dollar financiers

1:01:11Jason Stewart:yeah we five dollar financier footlongs after five we could do a whole yeah there's a lot to

1:01:16Chris Black:play with there i mean i saw you know i did see that that supreme uh they're they're doing a soccer jersey and matching shorts that are the fiji logo oh that's nice and i'm gonna have the water yeah i'm gonna have to get the shorts i've already i've already talked to the powers to be

1:01:31Jason Stewart:i need the shorts what do you think about the people i saw some people talking last week about the the paris is burning supreme hoodie yeah and some people were saying you know it's a little kind of stolen valor you know don't wear a lot of people are going to be wearing this hoodie who have no idea what Paris is burning is or what it meant or stands for whatever there's going to be some you know 13 year old fat Jewish kid with chrome hearts belt wearing this hoodie because it's supreme and then the other side of the internet was saying like this is a great like down low trade kind of dog whistle to let people know that if you want um to suck my dick in the in the back of this no you know i think in the back of this albertson's i'm ready to go i think that it's you know the the the modern version of a whatever color bandana earring in the earring

1:02:26Chris Black:in the left ear i think a subtle tell as they say i just think that supreme does good business and somebody that deserves to get paid a lot for allowing that to happen got paid a lot and that's what actually matters do you know what i'm saying like they did it the right if there's like a

1:02:43Jason Stewart:foundation or a person the paris is burning estate was was compensated correctly compensated

1:02:48Chris Black:it's a good point very good point they don't mess around the money goes to the right place

1:02:52Jason Stewart:y 'all can keep talking i'm the one who's you know keeping the lights on over there i'm the one who's paying for kids bills or whatever with this money you know i have all the nan golden stuff because

1:03:01Chris Black:nobody bought it but it's so cool that they did it because it's like i think that when you get to that point it's like if i want to do something i think it's cool i i do it and i that's what i think is so interesting is that like it should serve as like an education to people but they're too dumb to care so at least at least the money goes to the right place and the heads can get it if they want it that's how i kind of feel about it just like what aritzy is doing with their photo

1:03:24Jason Stewart:series just exposing young new emerging arts and exactly make sure that they get some exposure in

1:03:29Chris Black:the world it's great new new emerging but i think that when it's like actual counterculture shit it's a different like i think there's actually a possibility of someone being like what is paris is burning yeah you know and then they i just don't think there's really a downside to it i agree you can get your dick you can get your dick sucked at albertson's and whoever owns the

1:03:48Jason Stewart:ip got paid yeah i mean i it it being a download trade dog whistle is is not a no there's no downside to that at all it's a win-win for all parties involved if you know what this is you know what this means and you want to suck you know it just made things that much easier and

1:04:04Chris Black:you want to suck all right how long gone uh thank you guys in addition to all of that you would like to suck as well what what a mitzvah as they say what a mitzvah thank you guys uh for coming on thursday thank you to purple and stevie and silencio and the addition and lynn and you know dj harvey everyone that that helped out with the party it was fun tom of finland of course thank you for my t-shirt uh and brooke oh of course brooke the real architect the puppet master and that's it I guess I'm gonna go get a backyard bowl the first one I haven't had an opportunity time is not allowed but then we're gonna shoot How Long Gone Today tomorrow and we're shooting another

1:04:43Jason Stewart:is that what the name should be?

1:04:46Chris Black:Make it even more of a mouthful and then we're gonna do something special with one of our friends and then I go back to New York and then Jason and I are going to Paris together

1:04:57Jason Stewart:Wee wee motherfucker if your Paris trade will be there 4th to the 7th I guess more of the 5th to the 7th 4th is more of a travel day for us

1:05:05Chris Black:same yeah 5th to the 7th

1:05:07Jason Stewart:we'll be there for 48 hours in France

1:05:09Chris Black:first time in Paris which I'm very excited to be a part of

1:05:12Jason Stewart:my first time in Paris my first time third row at Loewe shout out to our Loewe family for bringing us out

1:05:19Chris Black:yeah we're going to the Loewe show they've been kind enough to invite us and yeah if they put us in the rafters that's fine with me

1:05:27Jason Stewart:not me I'm hanging you put me in the fucking rafters I'm gonna start calling it lowy

1:05:35Chris Black:I swear to god you fuck with me I'll pronounce this shit wrong I will do it I will pronounce it wrong even though it makes me look stupid it's a sign of disrespect

1:05:42Jason Stewart:you think you low you ain't low

1:05:47Chris Black:you thought you were loo loo loo but you ain't alright thank you for listening howlonggone.com is the website we're back next week

1:05:53Jason Stewart:call me low F-A-C-K up in this bitch baby hey oh god damn it yeah i'm laway bay thoreau with this bitch all right thank you if i wasn't a middle-aged man that's definitely like uh my my twitter name would be changed to that for

1:06:09Chris Black:you know three months or something it's really good thank you guys for listening uh thank you to the city of los angeles for blessing me with sunlight and uh we'll see you soon close your eyes and let the word paint a thousand pictures one good girl is worth a thousand bitches Bam!

1:06:32Bam!

1:06:36Chris Black:Uh-huh, honey. I wanna fuck you hard in the sink. After that, give you something to drink.

1:06:56Chris Black:$15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying, no judgments, but that's weird. Okay, one judgment. Anyway, give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch.