915. - Chris & Jason

10:20Chris Black:child who needs candy to drink their water until you've until you've dumped some of that purple stuff inside of a sprite and turned it upside down to make it go lava lamp mode i don't know if you've seen true beauty you know i've seen some of the finest paintings ever created and i still say a two liter you know dumped upside down the way that oil and water mix is of course it is one

10:41Jason Stewart:of the most beautiful sights a human can see breathtaking it is i will agree breathtaking it is It is breathtaking, but it's odd that something that's such a simple reaction of colors has captivated our nation's youth.

10:55Chris Black:I just don't understand. I don't understand cutting stuff, really. That's my issue with it. Just take a simple lean out of the bottle. You don't get all that sugar. You're already going to get the lean. The lean gut is mostly Sprite, Jason. I think that's what we're forgetting.

11:09Jason Stewart:Wow. Wow.

11:09Chris Black:You just said the choir part out loud.

11:11Jason Stewart:I don't mean to out.

11:12Chris Black:I would never come for Big Coca-Cola, my hometown corporation, one of my favorites. But if we're keeping it a buck, if you're just sipping lean like it's prescribed by the doctor, you'd still get fucked up, but you can't walk around with the double cup, and that's really why people are doing it.

11:26Jason Stewart:Okay, fellas, what's gayer? Wanting to have your lean be made with Sprite Zero? Or feeling the need to make your yummy drink purple? You know what I mean? It's an even battle.

11:40Chris Black:Sprite now, Sprite Zero is crazy. Sprite Zero, mixing up the Sprite Zero is crazy, even if you're Drake. Like, that's too crazy.

11:47Jason Stewart:Well, I mean, you know, abs are made in the lean kitchen, as they say, Chris.

11:52Chris Black:Yeah, lean kitchen, one of my favorite ghost kitchen delivery places in LA.

11:56Jason Stewart:Guts are made on the soda fountain. Yeah, so we've had some loco travel, I guess 72 hours, 24 of those for me were in flight, But somehow, like you were saying, I think just depending on where you're flying from and to and what direction and what time of day, you can almost it's almost as if you just like when you see somebody walking up an escalator that's going down and they and they sort of arrive at the same time as their friend who's doing it the regular way. it's it really is like cutting a hole in space and time continuum for me to just get on a plane at 1 p.m on a saturday afternoon you know 11 hour flight and i'm and i land saturday afternoon on the other side of the world and everything is just normal again i mean i'm loving it i'm

12:48Chris Black:loving it hopefully you don't crash because this has happened to me before too where i get a little cocky and then you know something happens i'm like i feel like i mean i felt pretty bad the whole i don't know what happened this trip something was off because i felt bad the whole time like i never really felt right was it you had higher hopes for balenciaga no no no i just my my physical body not my mental my mental state is always bad my physical body but i did go i felt

13:11Jason Stewart:fine until i saw a little yachty pull out uno cards at dinner and then i had to take a knee i

13:16Chris Black:don't i'll never understand the the fascination with games uh and adults especially i mean whatever I'd rather watch him play cards.

13:24Jason Stewart:Not everyone has our gift of gab or our love of conversation.

13:28Chris Black:Would you rather Lil Yachty pull up to the freestyle and just say, you know what, we're going to play Uno instead or spit bars? That's the real question. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, you know that a thoughtfully built wardrobe comes down to pieces that mix well and last. I sound like Luca Sabat. That's where Quince shines. Premium fabrics, considered design, and everyday essentials that feel effortless to wear and are dependable even as the seasons change. Quince has everyday essentials with the good quality that I love, lightweight cashmere sweaters, Mongolian cashmere polos, linen bottoms and shorts, tees and 100 % Pima cotton and European jersey linen.

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15:11Chris Black:love looking at websites one of my favorite pastimes i love clicking i love surfing i love scrolling better than the outside way better if you want to stay inside and use your computer and look at websites you're you're my kind of person and if you want to build a website that's a whole different animal it's a little harder than scrolling a little harder than clicking you're gonna need some help and that's where squarespace comes in they got all kinds of shit to make it easy for you so that you can sell stuff you can put up selfies i mean you can do whatever you want you seo tools you want to show up in the in the search results squarespace can help you you want cool design, Squarespace can help you.

15:45Chris Black:Jason, if you don't have a website, you're an idiot. And that's why Squarespace is here.

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16:48Jason Stewart:Do we want to hear him drop his on-the-radar freestyle, or do we want to just watch him quietly play Uno with his friends? Which one's going to be more damaging to the eyes and ears and senses?

16:58Chris Black:Tough call. I would like to. He can play cards loudly with his friends. They don't even have to be quiet. I'm still going with that. I bet those guys talking while they play cards is funnier and more entertaining.

17:09Jason Stewart:Yeah, I agree. I agree. I mean, I guess we should be wanting Lil Yachty to do anything but perform music. I mean, he's great.

17:16Chris Black:Everything about him except the music is great. Yeah.

17:18Jason Stewart:One of our nation's worst rappers, but he somehow is doing well and he's successful and cool and charming and fun. It's sort of the lyricism itself is not really necessary.

17:32Chris Black:I would rather Lil Yachty be beloved and famous than 99 % of rappers that take themselves too seriously or don't you know what i mean i guess all rappers are just podcasters now um which is uh infringing on our territory of course but it's a strange but it's cool because i think that it's they come from a shit-talking culture and i think it's actually the perfect job like i think it's the perfect job for for a rapper that's sort of you know a little too old to be doing it i think the reason they all do it is because it's actually what they're great at it's it's it's interesting how they're thriving speaking of rappers who are

18:06Jason Stewart:who are awesome people and personalities but don't need to listen to the music i i was cleaning up some old screenshots and things on my phone as i will do on the plane found a vince staples tweet from 10 years ago the photo remember the photo of kobe bryant where he was wearing like the all

18:25Chris Black:white look he kind of looks oh yeah oh yeah yeah that's a classic photo classic one so vince

18:30Jason Stewart:staples tweeted that that portrait of of him 10 years ago almost 10 years ago like april 20 or april 2016 almost exactly 10 years here's the tweet with that photo attached to it tagging at kobe bryant at lakers i've hated you my whole life thanks for the memories little bitch

18:50Chris Black:i've hated you my whole life i mean vince staples is a national treasure i i mean i'm not i'm not like tuning in for his i'm just saying it takes chutzpah yeah to

19:00Jason Stewart:to call Kobe Bryant a little bitch you know after he dies in an untimely awful death yeah that's true

19:06Chris Black:that's true but I think that I if my enemy dies I'm still gonna call him a bitch like that's not I get where he's coming from that's true I get where he's you're still a bitch yeah yeah yeah dead or alive but what is Vince Staples doing he's doing like a variety show sponsored by Taco Bell

19:22Jason Stewart:he's doing the live moss Taco Bell um variety show hour that that check must oh my god I can't even imagine what he's getting paid what do you what do you i mean what 300 what do you think it

19:33Chris Black:is at least at least depending on how much work he has to do for the cure because the curation is

19:39Jason Stewart:loco like it's insane okay so i i got it pulled up this is happening soon uh when this episode comes out this will be tomorrow this is happening streaming live on peacock march 10th it's the taco bell live moss live at the palladium so it's really coming back to the the live moss era of you know i guess that was 20 years ago almost with we're back the reality television yeah kind of extreme sports live moss energy what's your what's your guy's name travis pastrana yeah he was living moss in the in the red bull 900 vert suite at the snowboard uh hand gliding competition okay so i i i we got teased this image and i was like oh night of the pladium it's a variety show hosted by vince staples in los angeles his hometown hey cuz hopes aren't high

20:33Chris Black:but he's known as be high actually they're pretty high he's a funny guy he's got good taste he knows

20:38Jason Stewart:right from wrong i'm thinking he's gonna get these amazing comedians and weird performers and good musicians and like some real shit that i could be interested in viewing okay and then the lineup was released first artist performing is benson boone all right look for all right look

20:58Chris Black:i i'm gonna say i'm gonna say with 99 certainty that vince staples did not choose benson boone to

21:07Jason Stewart:perform and i'm and i'm but as somebody who i believe has integrity and respect for themselves

21:13Chris Black:jason you don't have that much integrity back you don't have that you would not push back if we were getting if we were getting paid if we're getting paid that much money you'd be like yeah I don't give a fuck. Benson Boone come play two songs. Whatever. Also there's a chance that Vince Staples is able to slyly make fun of Benson Boone in a way that will be palatable for Benson and us or whatever. You know what I mean? Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay.

21:35Jason Stewart:The next performer at the Live Moss event is Devante Adams who is a 33 year old wide receiver. Okay. So Devante is going to run some. For the Los Angeles Rams. He's going to run some filthy routes out there for us.

21:49Chris Black:on stage like what are we gonna do what is okay all right maybe he's maybe he's like a maybe he's dabbling in comedy or some other kind of performance i i'm not gonna oh i mean he's been

21:59Jason Stewart:working on this juggling routine he's got he's got the unicycle out he's juggling he's eating cigarettes he's doing the whole thing okay he's eating cigarettes yeah yeah he's his balloon art the his off-season balloon art is really taken up okay it's coming together it's coming together Next up, DJ Peewee, who I believe is Anderson Pack.

22:20Chris Black:Okay, okay. I found out recently that Anderson, because he told a story about getting put on to Ken Carson by his son. And Anderson Pack has like a grown son. Like his son's like 17. I'm like, I thought Anderson Pack was 30. I just don't, I was just stunned by that. I had no idea. I have no idea how old he is. He looks good. Anderson Pack looks good. So maybe he is older and just looks good. But I was stunned.

22:44Jason Stewart:Anderson Pack, his son, his name is Sol Rashid. That's okay. You can't name your kid Sol. You can't do that. All right, who's next on Vince's lineup? Sneaking in there at the bottom, Doja Cat. It's crazy.

23:00Chris Black:Who should be headlining the whole thing. I mean, Doja's falling off a little bit, but you can't. I mean, that does seem like fucked up billing.

23:06Jason Stewart:Doja, when she performs in LA, she's selling out SoFi, and this is at the Palladium. So, you know, it seems like an odd thing. Next up, Fernando Mendoza, who is a 22-year-old quarterback for the Raiders.

23:21Chris Black:Okay, so I see what they're doing here. They're just trying to spread it out and touch all the interest areas. I can't even blame them because I don't know who these guys are, but I'm sure they're wildly popular. You know what I mean? So it's like I don't know what they're going to do.

23:33Jason Stewart:Sorry, sorry, sorry. He's not – the Raiders are expected to sign him. He's still – Oh, he's a college athlete. Indiana Hoosiers. Okay, he's a Hoosier.

23:41Chris Black:born in 20 in 2003 okay got it well i i kind of understand what i look these are not choices i would make jason but i understand so he's he's probably he's gonna kill it up there on the live moss variety show he really might though i mean he really might depending on how young how young the crowd is okay this is this is i gotta say i remember reading this when this like first came out and this is um somehow more twisted than i remember it being yeah and and i don't know and

24:06Jason Stewart:And then there's a Puerto Rican rapper named Mike Towers. Mike spelled with a Y. He's a 32-year-old Puerto Rican artist.

24:14Chris Black:Okay.

24:15Jason Stewart:His genre is Argentinian trap. Oh, wow. Okay, shit. And then, of course, yeet at the bottom. White chocolate at the bottom, yeah.

24:24Chris Black:The goat, the real goat.

24:25Jason Stewart:Yeet on the pod when. I know all of your Jewish managers listen to this shit. Let's make it happen.

24:30Chris Black:Do you think yeet can put together a sentence, though? Real talk. No offense, Zach Bia, but can yeet put together a sentence?

24:35Jason Stewart:If he has a guy holding up, he's got the sticks inside the sleeve of his Supreme Motor Jacket. He's moving his arms around for him.

24:42Chris Black:Our field trip records family. I think what they're doing over there at Taco Bell is really trying to touch all of the youth markets. Which, you know, it could be a situation where maybe it kind of works. And it could be a situation where you can't be everything to everyone. And the only way to find out is to live stream tomorrow night on Peacock. Yeah.

25:04Jason Stewart:And I will never go to Taco Bell. I was mourning how, I mean, I used to like Taco Bell. Jason? Yeah, what?

25:09Chris Black:Yeah, I lost you. Are you there?

25:11Jason Stewart:I'm here. Can you hear me?

25:12Chris Black:Yeah, it's so weird. You just went totally blank.

25:14Jason Stewart:Yeah, it's windy over here in LA. So I always get worried about the Wi-Fi and the electricity when it gets a blow in over here. But yeah, I guess speaking of Taco Bell and variety shows, there's just a little correction from a previous episode about the, I was talking about the BET Awards.

25:35Chris Black:Yeah, yeah.

25:35Jason Stewart:And I learned afterwards that it was, in fact, the NAACP, when I was talking about, somebody was making a statement about, you know, if the guy with Tourette's Syndrome screams the N-word in this room.

25:47Chris Black:It was the NAACP Awards that were aired on BET.

25:50Jason Stewart:Yes. So I watched the clip. There was a video, and in the corner of it, a giant BET logo. everyone's wearing tuxedos on a stage i made the assumption thinking it was the bt awards and not the n double acp awards you know the reason you made the mistake is because you should

26:07Chris Black:know that no one wears a tuxedo at the bt awards so that is the that is the main differentiator

26:14Jason Stewart:literally that's not well i'm glad that we got a we got an apology and a double down all in the

26:19Chris Black:same that's the beauty of our one it's like it's like a vmas versus you know what i mean it's just It's like they're wearing fucking, they're wearing Balenci, like you said. Like it's just a different thing.

26:29Jason Stewart:Regardless of race, we're wearing a purple leather studded jacket. Yeah, this is not. We're wearing some crazy shit. It's not wearing. It's actually my friend made this. We're not wearing tips and tails.

26:38Chris Black:My friend made this for me. He's actually an up and coming designer is the vibe.

26:42Jason Stewart:Your designs are fire. Are you like a creative? Your designs are fire.

26:49Chris Black:But that is a mistake on your part. I would like to say to the person who tweeted at only me, Jason is the one who said all of this. I didn't say any of it, and I wasn't even aware of it. But I'll take the – it's fine. We're a team.

27:02Jason Stewart:Put yourself in that Twitter user's shoes. I get it. And you're like, they said it on how long gone. Gun to my head, who's the one that made the – yeah, I'm going to go Chris Block too. What are you going to do?

27:13Chris Black:Yeah, it's fine. I just want to be clear that for once, it wasn't me.

27:19Jason Stewart:for once it wasn't me but i'm glad don't don't don't do that for once shit right now chris i don't have not i don't i don't have the patience for it i'm glad that we've but i'm glad that we've

27:28Chris Black:we've corrected it on on the on the record here it's important it's important to know when you're

27:34Jason Stewart:wrong that's right brother um okay what yeah somebody also sent me a message on instagram not a correction more of just a a plead um so this is from somebody who i'm not going to say the name of hear me out some food for thought i'm a woman in my early 30s and i have no advice i'm out i have some advice for my male peers that i want you to discuss on your podcast the boys need to know about viagra i was recently on a trip with my bi best friend i'm really out now

28:08Chris Black:by male you're saying she has a male friend who's bi we all know that's fake it just says my all it

28:13Jason Stewart:says is my bi best friend didn't say what gender we were talking about okay and we got some over the counter in the uk not to fuck each other is what this person clarified with but just for recreational use he took some went to a late night dalliance and when he returned he exclaimed my dick feels 17 again and put on the last waltz version of muddy waters is i'm a man I like that, that's pretty good

28:43Chris Black:That's actually pretty cool

28:45Jason Stewart:I wouldn't have read this If it didn't deliver a little bit As a woman trying to date Chopped and Unk men in their mid-30s Something's got to give Your listeners are a prime demographic For this and need to hear it I believe the male loneliness Epidemic could be solved With this little blue pill Please use your platform to get the soft boys To start juicing

29:08Chris Black:Well, there's so many cool buzzwords in here. I don't think there's any person that listens to this podcast or maybe any podcast that isn't aware of Viagra. I think it's not. That was a cultural phenomenon.

29:25Jason Stewart:Well, I think people are aware of it, much like other things that plague the Chopped and Unc listeners of this podcast. We're all aware of prostate exams, but we may need a little nudging in that direction. We all know about performance-enhancing drugs, but we might have a little clarity as well as some poking and prodding.

29:47Chris Black:I believe that there are probably Vagra alternatives that are available online. I feel like I get targeted ads every day for any drug I want from a HIMSS-type service.

29:56Jason Stewart:You can go on HIMSS or whatever that shit, I'm sure, and just 10 minutes later with the virtual Indian guy AI doctor, and that shit shows up at your house in two days or something. I think maybe, to me, it seems like the issue is people may not believe that they are in need of it or they don't want to have to admit to themselves that they are.

30:21Chris Black:Well, I won't talk about this for one more second until Spicy Cubes or fucking, you know, Blue Chew sponsors the show. Because, I mean, these companies have been specifically targeting this demographic that she's talking about for literally the beginning of podcasting. Like, I feel like those are some of the first pod... Blue Chew has been advertising on podcasts for, I mean, for at least 10 years. Okay, well then... At least. Let's hold out for just literal Viagra.

30:47Jason Stewart:You know what I mean? That's the check I'm looking for.

30:49Chris Black:That's the check I'm looking for.

30:50Jason Stewart:We don't want any fake shit that they're going to do on the Adam Friedland show or something. We want the real subsidized, murderous, Pfizer-regulated drugs.

31:02Chris Black:Yeah, I want this to be from an evil corporation, not a cool startup. That's funny.

31:09Jason Stewart:I don't want Yuzu Lychee Viagra gummies. Exactly.

31:15Chris Black:That's literally what I... Are these blood orange? Oh, these are so good. Imagine that the Viagra gummies are so good, you eat too many. Like it's a weed gummy? You're bricked up for two weeks?

31:26Jason Stewart:It happened again. I had 11 Tangello Frog Hollow Farm Viagra gummies. I fucked a hole through a cinder block wall. Goddamn.

31:39Chris Black:Oh my God, I got tennis elbow. That's really, really funny. I don't think we're that far off from that if it doesn't already exist and we're just not aware of it.

31:50Jason Stewart:When I arrived home from Gay-Pally, I had a shipment of creatine gummies on the doorstep.

31:58Chris Black:Are they stupid flavors or just blue, orange, red?

32:02Jason Stewart:We got sour peach. Sounds kind of nice.

32:05Chris Black:I'm not a peach guy, to be honest.

32:07Jason Stewart:You don't want to build lean muscle and improve your recovery as well as cognition with the beautiful flavor of sour peach? Did you pay for these? Were they free? I didn't pay for them.

32:15Chris Black:That's what I thought.

32:16Jason Stewart:I'll give it a taste. And if my dick gets bigger and my traps get stronger and my cognition gets doper. You'll let me know. And they pay me 20 grand. I'll let you know the brand.

32:26Chris Black:I'm starting to worry, though, that all this stuff that we do doesn't do anything. I'm really starting to worry.

32:31Jason Stewart:Wait, are you talking about ad reads? No, no, no. I'll cut all this right now, bitch.

32:36Chris Black:No, no, no. I love ad reads. I'm starting to worry that it's a little bit like, unless it's something extreme, you know, I just wonder. It's starting to get to me. It's like I take so many pills every day. I just don't feel as good as I should considering how many pills I have to travel around with. I think a shot is a different thing. That's a little more extreme. But I just, I don't know, man. I'm starting to think that the extreme supplement of it all is like, I don't know. I just don't know.

33:08Jason Stewart:So it's almost like a miracle cure-all drug that claims you just take a pill and all of your life's problems go away and might not be truthful and factual? Well, I wish it was that.

33:18Chris Black:It's not even that. It's like 40 pills that sort of help you in different ways. If it was one pill that was supposed to do everything, I'd snort it. But if it's going to be, I got to take a fucking tote bag worth of vitamins everywhere I go over the world, it's starting to be like, does it really do anything? Yeah. I think on some level we know what works and it's like the shit we're talking. It's like Viagra and Ozempic. That's the shit that actually works. Everything else, it's sort of like, I don't know.

33:46Jason Stewart:No, I think about this sometimes because it makes you want, like, I think we were talking about this, I don't know, a couple years ago in the pod where I was saying, like, not in some any type of woe is me way or my life is awesome way of, like, I just want to know what my, like, pain level is. compared to the rest of the world people you know say yeah yeah oh the female tolerance for pain is much higher than a man because childbirth but you know try punching a woman in the face and see what you know there's all these arguments about pain and i'm like am i in pain you know how how am i how do i rank on the pain scale with my fellow comrades my same age weight height sex yeah that's a great i would so like that that same kind of thing and then you hear people say like oh as soon as i started taking um 400 milligrams of zinc every wednesday instead of 300 it changed everything i'm like so it makes me wonder like how i feel like i'm in tune with my body what i'm putting into it and how it's making me feel more than the average person definitely i don't i want i'll take one tylenol 10 tylenols yeah one one of this pill 11 of this pill i feel no different whatsoever is it working who fucking knows this is what i mean the stuff that works is perks

34:56Chris Black:like it's like the shit the shit you think works works the other stuff i mean i think it's also just like it's i don't know man it's like the instagram ads i think it's just like we're all

35:06Jason Stewart:searching for something to make us feel better i started taking psyllium husk and my my bald spot started growing back and you just you just hear all this weird shit all the time you know but it's it's the same thing as like you know do i really need to put my seat belt on on the airplane when it's gonna crash you know like you can go down the line but imagine if they marketed a pill

35:25Chris Black:imagine if they marketed a pill to women that said it would make your titties bigger you know what i mean yeah it's like i watch the substance on the plane do you think a woman do you think a woman would take that i think she would probably be like i'll just either get plastic surgery or i won't i'm not going to take a pill you know what i mean i'm not going to like

35:40Jason Stewart:i don't know i mean unless it was like wildly expensive i feel like everyone would be but that's the thing pill than going under the knife but the problem is is that the pills are getting

35:51Chris Black:so expensive and there's no proof that it works that's the issue that's what i'm saying it's like Not that it compare, obviously it doesn't compare to a breast augmentation surgery. It's much less than that. But I just mean, once you really start looking at this shit and you're like, wait, how much do I spend a year on fucking supplement? Like what? Like it's not cheap. It's not that cheap, I guess is what I'm saying.

36:09Jason Stewart:Yeah. I wonder moving forward, we might have to start having like the, the, the field of supplement and peptide accountants are going, are going to rise. People who specialize in, you know, drug accounting.

36:23Chris Black:Yeah. I wish I had a drug accountant. I mean... Maybe I should tell my dad that that's what he should get into as in retirement. Just take on a few clients, just only do their drug budgets. It'll be pretty mellow for you overall.

36:35Jason Stewart:Imagine your dad calling you asking for help with an accounting question. He's like, all right, so I got my client here. He's got all these Venmo transactions for ski trip. And I don't know how... I think I know what he means, but I don't know what category...

36:52Chris Black:Just say, if you just have a few minutes, we can hop on Zoom if you've got time. Yeah, I don't know. All right, so let's, I would like to. He takes a lot of big bear trips. I want to talk to you about this. We just, we left Paris. It was your first time. And I feel like, as a person who knows you, you know, very well, I feel like you had a really good time. And it kind of warmed my heart. When you want your spring break to feel like. And your kid's pool day to feel like. and your hotel bed to feel like and room service to feel like because at Hilton, hospitality feels like your cabana's ready.

37:33Chris Black:Would you like fresh towels? It matters where you stay. Book now at Hilton.com. Hilton for this day.

37:45Jason Stewart:Oh, it warmed your heart that I was Paris Pilled? Yeah. You think you liked it? Wait till fucking Carolyn heard that I enjoyed it.

37:53Chris Black:I just was like, I could tell that you liked it. Instantly, I could tell. And usually I'm used to you not liking it. So it was a pretty stark difference.

38:01Jason Stewart:Yeah, I'm trying to figure out why. I mean, maybe a lot of it is rooted in the fact that, you know, we were sort of flown out like the fashion princesses that we aren't and, you know, treated well. And I felt, you know, just riding high off of that endorphin of, you know business class and car service and hotel where you don't put your credit card down and life is but a dream all you have to do is put on the Loewe and drink champagne so it was it was an easy situation to have a fun time in but I really did like the city of Paris how it flowed I think they were sort of you know not they weren't smitten with me but they were tickled by my personality type the French are kind of like a kooky you know not everyone but the ones that aren't assholes are kind of a a kooky weird irreverent bunch at their core and despite the language barrier that i have you know me saying fucking excuse every time as i'm riding by them on the bicycle instead of faldon but i i really loved it yeah it was great i know i mean i know

39:03Chris Black:three i probably know three french people i like so i'm glad that you found that many i haven't gone there for 10 years but no i i just i had a good time i had a great time too it's not i just like i really find it to be the way people love it i've just never been able to relate to i think is the issue of course it's great it's beautiful it's it's like clean everything's you know it's a pretty high quality of product across the board you know what i mean yeah um you kind of get you

39:27Jason Stewart:get all the the the majesty and romance of a rome without the just 40 billion of the worst well tourists you've ever seen taking it over no go there in july see what it feels like obviously there's tourists in Paris as well, huge tourist city, but it just felt different and more spread out and easily avoidable. It's a lot bigger. It's like people coming to LA and complaining about it, about the tourism, but they just hang out at the Grove and the Hollywood Walk of Fame or something like that. Everyone who knows, you don't hang out at those places.

40:01Chris Black:No, but I had a good time too. I mean, even though I feel crazy, it was I'm glad we went and it was fun. Thank you to the Loewe family and hopefully we'll be back i really i really want those shoes the men's shoes yeah the men's shoes

40:14Jason Stewart:that kind of look like the rock climbing shoes it's an it's an approach shoe it's quite it's really happening right now yeah the approach shoe um yeah if loewe once once you get the basketball player sizes in um i like the purple and i like the brown yeah unfortunately brett

40:30Chris Black:fayas uh brent fayas doesn't wear a 17 i think he's a regular i didn't check i didn't check with

40:36Jason Stewart:brent but yeah i guess there weren't any ballers there at the show it was just me at the top it's

40:40Chris Black:just jeans the only the only ballers at any show now are k-pop stars that we don't recognize i swear to god i was talking about this last night i was talking about this last night i swear to god every event of any kind i go to there is a massive crowd losing their fucking minds for a k-pop star that i don't know anything about it's starting to make me feel crazy because i know the big ones i'm not like totally shut off from this you know what i mean i like know i know who's who to some extent but I think because it's such a factory model, they're just coming out so fast, you can't keep up.

41:10Jason Stewart:Yeah, and there are entire worlds full of superstar Korean acts and performers that you and I will never know of. Of course, of course. And I'm fairly tapped in with the music scene, but I couldn't name a single member of Aespa, but...

41:29Chris Black:Well, yeah, what I'm saying is there's the ones that don't ever make it out of Korea, but then there's so many that make it to Paris and Milan and New York and London and I still I can't keep up with those either is what I'm trying to say yeah like I like I thought I mean this I saw something I've never seen before which is fascinating to me is that so across you know whatever across from us that I whatever there was there was two content creators one with like a you know like a cool handy cam vintage vibe content spelled with a k vintage vibe you know video camera and one with like sort of a not super long lens but you know a nat nat geo style like we're getting the shot giraffe eating and they were both they were both this this then the way they show lasted whatever 15 minutes maybe and they the entire time were taking picture and video of their boss who is some sort of k-pop star of him watching the show and so they have they have a thousand digital photos and 15 minutes of raw footage of him watching models it was just it just seemed crazy it's like how much of this can you use like you cut in a couple times but like

42:40Jason Stewart:what are we talking about and these and these are two people that are sitting in the center of the show taking up very valuable real estate yeah this is this could be yeah exactly yeah it's not these people because there was a little press corner full of photographers with their with their lenses shooting all the looks um but these were two people that were occupying you know very

43:02Chris Black:prime seating i think when you get prime fashion show i think when you get up to this level you can be like i need to come with six people and it's like all right fuck it let's go do it we'll see you there tell jim fallon to kick rocks all good we'll sit we'll sit we got seats for you but yeah um i got i got back last night and i um i went to equinox and then i went to go see cat power at the um at webster hall she was doing the greatest which is one of my all-time favorites and um i was i took nathan pemberton with me and as a fellow he's a you know he's a guy from florida he understands we were in there he's an older ladies too we were we were in yeah we were in like the whatever you know that balcony there's like a balcony on the left that's like the quote unquote vip balcony which much like most venues it's actually a terrible place to watch a show But it is I guess it's better Whatever

43:55Jason Stewart:You don't have to smell the regulars

43:57Chris Black:The point is we were looking around I was like damn This is like all of these sort of Like baddies that are four to seven years older than us Are here They're just that much older than us And they all look good It was just a very certain kind of like Max Fish graduate crowd That I expected sort of But then it was like I was talking to Chrissy Miller and she had all these friends there with her. And I was like, wow, you guys all are just like good-looking 45-year-old women with careers that are happy to see their friend. I don't know, it was kind of heartwarming in a way. It was heartwarming in a way.

44:34Chris Black:Because sometimes you go to those shows where the crowd is your peers and you're like, oh man, hell no. Like you try to go see fucking American Nightmare and Indecision of Brooklyn Monarch and it looks like a fucking plumbing union meeting. You know, this at least looked like, this looked like it should look, like all the Levi's fit right. You know what I mean? It was the right pain Everything was right The guys looked cool Everybody looked good It was just a nice

44:54Jason Stewart:Old bitches winning Old bitches stay winning I just feel like

44:58Chris Black:I've been to so much Of this stuff In the past couple years And I'm always like Damn is this what I look like And this time I was like I hope this is what I look like

45:04Jason Stewart:They said it's some good Pussy under this ex-girl Jumpsuit

45:08Chris Black:You don't want to see What's under here big boy But the Her voice I couldn't believe it She sounded so good Like it was honestly awesome Because I just feel like It's such a she has such an iconic singing voice and if you know it it really sticks with you and it's just hard to maintain that after touring for 25 years or whatever you know more she's probably been

45:28Jason Stewart:touring for 40 years very cool that you're able to celebrate this on the eve of international women's day one of one of the greatest women's pun intended literally no literally should have said that to her yo cap how are you one of the greatest women's out right now you're one of the

45:42Chris Black:greatest women's out but yeah it was it was i'm glad i got to go and i'm glad i got to hear lived in bars i haven't heard that live you know since the first tour so it was fun but i was just the whole thing was a really funny exercise for me and then i i um i had to leave and walk home and i

45:57Jason Stewart:killed my feet but that's a whole nother issue what shoe did you use what shoe was it was it

46:01Chris Black:this time chris see the problem this is what i do i get off the plane i'm like you know what i should wear something comfortable because i'm gonna walk 50 blocks you know from my house to webster hall i know how far this is and then every time i'm like you know what i'm just gonna put on some I put on my Saman Amell boat shoes which I love but they're not distance walkers they're not hokas they're not Nordas they're not you know so I just I'm paying for it today those shoes you put

46:25Jason Stewart:on for walking the plank not for not 50 blocks in them Hatton no it was it was a mistake on my part

46:31Chris Black:but I at least they look good with my jeans you know you keep fucking up don't you I keep yeah I

46:35Jason Stewart:mean I'm sad I missed the cat power the greatest is a great album you are free or moon picks I I don't know. Both of them, they're all iconic.

46:45Chris Black:I mean, I think that You Are Free, I've probably listened to more, but the greatest I got into at a more pivotal time in my life, I think is probably the way I would put it.

46:56Jason Stewart:I need to start DJing He War in the club.

46:59Chris Black:Dude, please, please put on He War in the club. Please. The heads would know.

47:03Jason Stewart:It's a little bit of an indie sleaze bop for the older heads.

47:06Chris Black:It is. I think it is too. I mean, we were talking about the Manhattan video where she's in the top of the tourist bus and they're just like driving through the city and how like i was talking about it with katie and kevin because i was like this is so genius and it cost nothing you know it's like one of those video ideas it's just good it didn't cost any money because we were talking about like music videos because kevin did that video with with caleb that costs no money it's really good and i was like yeah that's what that reminds me of is that people used to do shit like that and now it's sort of like you either do nothing or you or you're one of the five artists that can spend a

47:34Jason Stewart:million dollars there's no in between really yeah you don't be sleaze unless you are ready to get

47:39Chris Black:indie with the budgets too dead ass i we need to talk about the herald stylish as well i've had some more time to digest and um i'm sort of having some tj style audrey hobart feelings about it where like the single didn't do anything for me but there's three or four on here that i i like

48:00Jason Stewart:quite a lot okay and were you swayed by the kiss all the time disco occasionally pop-up powered by American Express?

48:07Chris Black:That could sway me, you know, but I didn't, the line in Paris was literally wrapped around two blocks, I feel like. I mean, God bless, and I didn't use my car to get access, unfortunately.

48:20Jason Stewart:Okay, so the single, the first one that came out, obviously, you were not loving it, but then you're digging in a little bit.

48:29Chris Black:There's three or four songs that are quite good, and it's still not the same, it's still not hitting for me like the rest of them, but there's a song called

48:36Jason Stewart:taste back that is very very good what is that song about do you know oh i don't know is it about

48:40Chris Black:long covid i don't think it is i'll i'll get on i'll get on rap genius later i'm eating i'm eating this peanut butter and jelly and i can't taste the thing well i was talking about with shah just right because he's writing the pitchfork review and he was like i think that song actually kind of sounds like phoenix which is obviously complimentary um and i i sort of i sort of

48:59Jason Stewart:hear that now but phoenix is like if lcd sound system was good so it all makes sense right but

49:04Chris Black:But here's what really blew my top off is that I was reading. There's a New York Times story.

49:09Jason Stewart:Sorry if LCD Sound System got laid. Carry on.

49:12Chris Black:They've gotten laid. They're just underage. I was listening to. I'm sorry. I was reading a New York Times story about Kid Harpoon, the producer, who works on all the Harry Styles albums since the beginning. And he's worked with a bunch of people. And I didn't know this, but he was sort of in a band that opened for like libertines like he you know he's very close with um he's very close with florence welch you know he's like from that he's exactly my age is 43 he's like from that era of london and he's sort of talking about how he like was you know he's doing all this stuff he's doing all this stuff and then he you know started seeing a therapist and was trying to figure it out and like sort of was i think that the the takeaway from the therapist was like you should do this you should figure out what to do for the love of it instead of like the work of it all you know You don't have to write songs.

50:02Chris Black:You don't have to do this every day like a job if you don't want to, is basically what the takeaway was. And he got super into modular synths and bought all the crazy shit and taught himself how to use it. So he's responsible for this. He's responsible. I think Harry started doing Molly and going to Bergheim. I was like, this is sick. And at the same time, his producer had spent$250 ,000 on modular synths and figured out how to use them. and then they went to the studio in Berlin and this is what we get. I think that, I didn't realize that was such a part of it because the story was so like, Harry just decided to do something different.

50:37Chris Black:It was like, oh, I think it was really influenced by this producer he's worked with for years.

50:41Jason Stewart:Okay, Kid Harpoon, our 43-year-old king from Kent, England. I want to know, because I have not heard the album. I'm familiar with modular synths for our listeners at home. It's like synthesizers. You'll see videos of people doing it. They got all these weird wires and cables and doohickeys. Things look like they're made out of a wooden box. It's extremely cool looking.

51:03Chris Black:It's extremely cool looking and seems very hard to do.

51:06Jason Stewart:It's very hard to do. It's a pain in the ass. Requires a good amount of money, time, attention. And I'm sure meth works out well with it. But my question is, so the Harry album, I only heard the main song. And it did not sound as if you needed a quarter million dollars worth of modular synth gear to make this. So, you know, when I think modular synth, you're thinking, you know, Autecher and Apex Twin and these crazy manipulated alien sounds that can only be made by these crazy patch cables and blah, blah, blah. So does it sound as if... No. Okay. No.

51:40Chris Black:What I'm saying to you is I think it may be the process of him learning it opened their third eye to what is possible. I'm not saying they necessarily exercised all of the things that they could have with the technology. Okay, okay. i think i think it was more like just a different way to make music you know that they're than they're used to or whatever sure um but yeah i it does not sound like it does not sound like

52:02Jason Stewart:apex twin i mean i mean not not that it sounds like apex twin but just more so you know it could be a standard pop song i'm not expecting it to sound like some insane fucking detroit techno from from 1991 or whatever but more so just like it doesn't have some some unique kind of analog flavor to it i think there's there is some no there's definitely some massive plugins no there's

52:25Chris Black:definitely some some flavor to it like that for sure uh i i just think a little bit of squelch any of the squelch would go over the fans heads you know what i mean but this one song i think this alternative arpeggiation this one this one particular song i'm like wow this is really really fucking good and i was so happy to hear it and you said that song's called lick back taste back what's it called yeah it's it's called get my lick back it's featuring big x the plug and it's um it's yeah yeah it's good it's kid harpoon it's kid harpoon and dj toomp they kind of got together on this one too it's really it's something okay it's really something i'm looking at the track listing track number seven polo da don polo da don's on it i was just thinking about

53:05Jason Stewart:polo da don um so many musical mentions on this episode it's going to be hard to choose a song Polo the Don got God that man has some slaps Good off Polo Dick Track number 7 Season 2 weight loss Do you know what that means?

53:23Chris Black:No don't know anything about it I like American Girls of course It's not a Tom Petty cover Taste Back and there's one other one I like I can't remember which one I haven't read anything about it either I've seen a couple reviews here and there and it's very I love this or I hate this which I sort of respect that kind of response. I think that's cooler than like a six. I'd rather you be like, this is the worst show I've ever heard or I love this, I can't believe how good it is. He's taking swings. Yeah, I mean, I don't think this will ever get as much play as the other two for me, but I'm being, I think, I don't know.

53:59Chris Black:I'm pleasantly surprised after listening to it that there was at least a couple songs I liked.

54:04Jason Stewart:Okay, I used AI technology to learn that season two weight loss is a metaphor about the common TV trope. When a TV show becomes successful and returns for a second season, the actors often look noticeably fitter and more polished, having better resources to trainers, nutritionists, and stylists, so the characters come back looking like upgraded versions of themselves. Huh. That's funny. That's a funny thing. That's a funny turn of phrase then. I guess he's... So is he saying that this whole time was just season one and season two starting now with the synths? Damn, bro. I don't... He's not that young.

54:38Chris Black:I'm sure it's a metaphor for Olivia Wilde or something that we couldn't possibly understand.

54:43Jason Stewart:She did come back with different titties. Okay, so as we're members of the culinary space, we should talk a little bit about Rene Redzepi.

54:51Chris Black:I didn't read it because I couldn't care less about what is happening at Noma, but was he a mean... Are they saying he punched motherfuckers in the kitchen?

55:00Jason Stewart:I did not read the whole thing yet, but I have a paragraph. Please. A few paragraphs, but... I have a small excerpt of the piece. On a February night in 2014, in the middle of a busy dinner, the acclaimed Copenhagen restaurant, Rene orders the entire kitchen staff to follow him outside into the cold. He was showing a sous chef, sorry, he was shoving a sous chef in front of him, a young man who put on techno music, a genre that Mr. Red Zeppi dislikes. Wow, wow, wow. Okay. Okay, so he started putting on techno in the production kitchen while they're fucking... Okay, so, which is far away from the dining room where unpaid interns work 16-hour days performing tasks like picking herbs and cleaning pine cones to adorn the celebrated Nordic dishes.

55:53Jason Stewart:Mr. Redzepi taunted the chef over and over as about 40 cooks in short sleeves and aprons formed the usual circle around the two men. It was not the first time they had been forced to participate in this public shaming, according to two chefs present. Mr. Redzepi escalated the attack, punching his employee in the ribs and screaming that no one would go back inside until the chef said, loud enough for all to hear, that he liked giving DJs oral sex. His co-workers stood in silence until he breathlessly complied. Then they filed back into the kitchen and returned to work.

56:31Chris Black:I could have found a chick that would just say that because that's what she feels. Like, you don't have to do all that. No, that's actually fucking crazy. That's insane.

56:38Jason Stewart:And even more offensive, we learned that the LA tasting meal that runs for whatever it is,$1 ,500 a head, apparently the tentpole ingredient or the star featured dish is cactus.

56:54Chris Black:God, that's like going to Los Tacos. That's the only vegetarian option they got. I ain't paying$1 ,500 for that.

57:00Jason Stewart:I'll eat a taco de nopal any day of the week, but I don't want to spend a month's carno on a fucking Hellcat having seven different expressions of a cactus.

57:12Chris Black:That story is, I mean, now I have to read it. I mean, I didn't know it was, I mean, I just don't.

57:17Jason Stewart:You hit him with a little kidney shot pissing reindeer blood for a week.

57:21Chris Black:I just wonder if, like, I guess when this kind of stuff happens, it's been a little while since one of these came out, I feel like, but when it happens, there's usually two sides of, like, this is so unbelievable i can't i can't understand it and the other side is sort of like yeah this is how it works in restaurants like it doesn't happen there's no sort of nuance to it really

57:40Jason Stewart:it is clearly bad but what you were just talking about of the of the two schools of thought and i think it really is defined by a certain age range cut off and you know every every chef will say especially in rodzepi's position and age that's all we knew growing up you know my boss and their boss's boss would do all this stuff and this is what we know you know david chang has talked about it all these other chefs have talked about you know that's just what you learned and you're a product of your environment and you don't do it anymore which is some bullshit but you know blah blah blah but i was there i was served a video on instagram a few days ago and there was like a guy who was complaining about this video of like some hardcore band playing and there was a girl like standing on stage with the camera all in the singer's face with this shooting flash photography and this the singer like smacks the camera away yeah I've heard about this there's the guy was like whining and complaining about the livelihood of the photographer and the the band should be grateful that they're creating content for them for free and blah blah blah and I said I commented on the post saying like sometimes you gotta smack the camera or whatever you know whatever it is and i got a lot of replies and it is young people who do not understand you know how a situation like that works and they really look at it as if you having a camera allows you to have a vip wristband pass to do whatever you want go wherever you want and do whatever you want all doors in the world should open up to you if you have a camera and that's just not the way i believe it should be half the people are defending me and they're all you know older people who are you know hardcore regulars and then the young people are saying you know it's fucking bullshit and like you know it's really a fucked up ignorant take that you think that sometimes you got to smack the camera or whatever or smash the camera i mean it's just

59:43Chris Black:sort of it's it's just sort of like if you're going to put yourself in that position anything can happen and you just got to be prepared i don't know it's not i don't feel either way but like i don't feel either way about it it's more just like if you want to take pictures on stage of a hardcore band that is a possibility of that happening and if it happened it's the same thing

59:59Jason Stewart:that's just kind of in la every weekend they'll take over a random uh intersection they'll start whipping donuts everyone's partying people run out into the middle you know sometimes a guy gets hit by a car you know sometimes you go in the in the mosh pit of a concert and somebody kicks you and you you lose a tooth or you get a black eye and that's sort of you know what's going to happen if and if you bring a camera to a hardcore show and you put it in the face of a hardcore band if

1:00:28Chris Black:you're on stage if you're on stage with a hardcore band and you're not like built like a truck or doing backflips off the front of the stage you got no reason to be there unless you're playing

1:00:37Jason Stewart:instrument that's just that's just how it is but that to me that's also the beauty of a hardcore show environment where it all polices itself yeah there's no security because they can't do

1:00:45Chris Black:anything about it you know it's it's even when turnstile plays tiny desk somebody's doing a mosh you know somebody's jumping off somebody's doing it someone's gonna do it someone's gonna

1:00:54Jason Stewart:do it and if you if you don't if you don't know the rules of how a hardcore show works they'll show you real quick that's a cost of doing business i think working in a kitchen

1:01:03Chris Black:doesn't mean you should get punched in the ribs you should get made fun of for like listening to techno that's fine yes but the the physical violence part is probably a bridge too far for

1:01:12Jason Stewart:even me not as a bridge too far whip them with the towel call them a pussy they call you a pussy you you you live to do a bump in the alleyway another day making you making you say in front

1:01:22Chris Black:of your co-workers that you suck dj dick is it's unfortunately very funny but it's also that is wrong that is wrong and i i cannot get behind that it's very not posy you freshman bitches is kind of yeah it's really it really is it really is like it really is hazing the people who have

1:01:40Jason Stewart:gone through it and survived it are able to laugh and call the young people who haven't gone through

1:01:45Chris Black:it pussies but you know i see both sides the problem with this the problem with this noma thing is that it's i would say years late like noma's not really you know what i mean there there's a point where this really would have made waves and been a big deal and i think now it's sort of like oh yeah noma you know what i mean i don't think anybody's thinking about it everyone

1:02:04Jason Stewart:Everyone is okay with sun setting Noma and Rene Redzepi at this point. He's already injected and extracted all of the resources out that he's going to get. He still can make lots of money for the rest of his life, but he doesn't need to anymore. Yeah, and he's also, I mean, the damage he's done to the pine cone population is, I mean, I didn't want to get into it.

1:02:26Chris Black:I don't know if we're going to come back from it. Lives have been lost. This is absolute destruction of an entire species, Jason, that grew wildly. It was free. It was a resource for all of us.

1:02:36Jason Stewart:All the dickless reindeers running around the Scandinavian forest.

1:02:41Chris Black:That's crazy. What are we going to do? What are we going to do? All right. Yes. How long gone? Thank you guys for listening. Thank you again to Loewe for bringing us to Paris. We had a great time.

1:02:52Jason Stewart:If you want to buy my inflatable claw invite, I'm accepting offers on Instagram. Do you know?

1:02:57Chris Black:Between$5 and$10, we'll probably get them done. Also, shout out to our Montezuma family. What a great place. I really liked it. I had never been there before.

1:03:06Jason Stewart:Montezuma, the wine bar.

1:03:07Chris Black:Everybody else had, but I really liked hanging there. Two nights in a row, it felt like cheers by the time we were leaving.

1:03:13Jason Stewart:It was our tenants of the trees, wasn't it?

1:03:15Chris Black:Well, the guy that worked there did look like you quite a lot, which I loved.

1:03:18Jason Stewart:He did. He was jeans maxing at the LA Wine Bar.

1:03:23Chris Black:He was jeans maxing. He meant a few words. Very polite, though, which I appreciated. Yeah, I guess that's it. We're back with – we have some real powerful females this week. powerful women on How Long Gone.

1:03:35Jason Stewart:I noticed powerful women mostly in the food space are going to be featured all through the month of March, actually.

1:03:42Chris Black:Yeah, who knows, man. You know, when it rains, it pours. And thank you to all of our women.

1:03:46Jason Stewart:So all that is to say are apologies to Al and Polly in advance.

1:03:50Chris Black:To all of our friends that turn it off when it's a woman where we apologize. Sorry that we like to host all types of people on this show.

1:03:57Jason Stewart:All of our listeners who are so straight they don't want to hear a woman talk.

1:04:00Chris Black:Yeah, so there's a few, the few, the proud, because I don't think that's most of them. Thank you for listening. Howlonggone.com is the website. We'll be back next week with more podcasts. And that's it. Thank you, Jason.

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