931. - Monica Padman

30:14Also good for my eating disorder chicas out there, crunching on those ice chips, baby. Oh, I'm so full. Yeah, exactly. Don't worry. I'm eating with this. No fries for me. I'm just having shards. Yeah, Alex chews her smoothie. She drinks her smoothie in the way. Canadians. I'm sucking it down, but she's chewing it. She's making a meal of it. I'm like, oh, that's smart, actually, because it does have a toothsome, depending on how many bananas and dates are in there. Texture. It's all about texture, you guys. You got to get into that texture. I agree. It's very important. What's the difference? I mean, one of your backyard bowls, Chris, that's nothing but a thick smoothie.

30:49That's true. Monica, have you been to Backyard Bowls? It's the best restaurant in LA. I don't know if you've been there. I do like Backyard Bowls. I haven't been in a while, but I used to love it. What's your order there? Power Bowl, no chia seeds. Or no, excuse me, Power Bowl with chia seeds. They do get in your teeth, unfortunately. What a rollercoaster ride. They do. Sorry, I didn't mean to take you guys on that journey. They get in your teeth a little bit, so sort of it depends on where I got to go after. Are the chia seeds, are they still hard and crunchy, or have they been soaked and activated?

31:17I would say activated. I don't get a distinct crunch coming off of them, if I remember correctly. Thank God. Thank God. I'll get back to you tomorrow. I'll get back to you tomorrow after I dig into one. Please do. Wait, Chris, so you're in Atlanta? No, no. I live in New York, but I'm currently in, I'm at this Aubert's hotel in Virginia called Primland. Oh, I love Aubert's. Where people go to sort of like, this is where people, Southern people go. You can hunt here. You can fish. You can ATV. You can, you know. Oh, fun. You can do it all. I mean, not for me, but for you guys. You're not an outdoorsy type of chick?

31:55Um, no. I'm not either. So both of you guys both hanging out and growing up in the beautiful bluegrass hills of Georgia, and we're both just on AOL Instant Messenger all day? Yeah, aim. Okay, we're all aiming all day. All day. Where did you grow up for real, for real, though? Let's get, like, are you OTP or let's get honest here? No, Duluth. Oh, you really are Duluth. I thought Jason was just making a really clever joke. No, he did a great, that was great. I was like, damn, Jason's been to Atlanta quite a few times. So I thought he might have picked up on it. You know, Duluth also is sort of a food hotspot in Atlanta.

32:29Well, it's grown a ton also since I've left. My parents are still there, so I go back, and it's gotten so cute. Okay, so you're saying your kind of industrial suburb has become – you can go to a place that has brunch with, like, fake flowers around the doorway? Yeah. Yeah, dead ass. I know, I know. My dream. You can't get that down in Glasscock County, can you? That's a place. You can't. I didn't. Okay. So did you go to high school in Duluth? I did. Duluth High School. Oh, so you're just a. Okay. You're right. Look at my shirt. I see. This is a Georgia shirt. I went to University of Georgia as well.

33:07Go Dawgs. Go Dawgs. Also, she was a cheerleader, Chris. So she was a real all-American girl. Hold on. Hold on. You were a cheerleader at high school or in college? In high school. I was a competition cheerleader. Two-time state champ. Okay. But were you a flyer or a base? Flyer. How dare you, Chris? I know. Who do you think I am? No, I'm sorry. Follow-up question, Monica. How much did you weigh in high school? That actually is a great question. I was probably like 95 to 100 pounds. I was very small back then. Did you just love doing this? Did your parents force you to do it? Was it so you could be close to football players?

33:42What was the goal? Because cheerleading doesn't have a big upside at the end of the day after a college scholarship. You know what I'm saying? Oh, man. It's just so fun. I mean, the idea that you threw in that my parents forced me they were like what is this like why why are you this sounds like a an epic waste of time and money yeah it correct yeah but um no it was the cool thing the cool girls did it you know and i had to try to be a cool girl i was trying very hard to be accepted and popular i succeeded by the way yeah yeah yeah but but were you but you weren't pulling boys in high school though were you No, I wasn't.

34:21They didn't like me. Are you claiming this is racism? Or are you saying this is something else? You know what? It can be a little bit of both as well. I used to. I used to. I think it was both. What was wrong with you in high school? I mean, look, I just explained. I was a 95 pounds. Guys hate petite cheerleaders, by the way. And I was a cheerleader and I was smart. So, you know, you tell me if it's racism or not. The problem. No, the problem. The problem is smart. That's where you fucked up. that's where you fucked up a 17 year old tight end doesn't want no smart shit he wants he likes the titties he likes the cheerleading but once you try to talk to him about class he's out you gotta join join the science club okay i wasn't like leading with like my science project or anything but we had we had there was a group so you think the other cheerleaders are dumb wow yeah that is interesting um no we you know of my first one of my very first memories so i we do talk about a lot on the podcast so it's kind of like nauseating at this point but what there was i liked this boy this was middle school those things were getting real hot and heavy for everyone you know and um he told my friend my friend said why don't you ask monica to be your girlfriend he said well i would but i can't like her parents work at dairy queen which they did not work at dairy queen i know they didn't work at dairy queen i know that yeah i just but not everyone understands as you do because you understand that a lot of Indian people would franchise out the Terry Queens there.

35:55I'm glad it wasn't a more sinister euphemism. My parents own 12 of those. They don't work there. That's different. I mean, nowadays, exactly. I'd be like, I wish we'd be living in a much bigger house. It's very lucrative. Anyway, all to say, he couldn't date me because of my brown skin. And you know what? That really set me on a course. Okay, because you're saying you have trouble in the dating arena? I do, and I have a very hard time accepting anyone likes me. So you're saying if a guy's, you know, whatever, like obviously showing that he likes you, you're saying you don't believe him, or you're saying like, bro, chill, this makes me uncomfortable?

36:38Well, now, I mean, look, I'm so mature now. You know, I'm an adult. Of course, yeah, we can tell. decades of therapy she's finally come around i've come around but they're you know there's just mainly like oh i like this person i like this person then they like me back and i'm like never then you're fucked up there's something wrong with you oh so you're saying once okay so once you once third date comes around you're like actually you're you like me if you like me you have a problem it's the the classic rodney dangerfield quote i wouldn't be a member of a club that would have me as a member that's right but i don't think it's rodney but that's a but yeah okay

37:16I think that is one of those classic quotes that is miscredited to Rodney Dangerfield. To like everyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's Groucho Marx. Sorry, my bad. That's a problem. And I know that you're working through it. But I feel like because of your position in the space, you're meeting a lot of eligible, you know. Whether, I mean, you know, all these guys, all these big actors and musicians that come on the podcast, they've got people that work for them. You know what I mean? They got like, they got eligible. Do you know what I'm saying? Eligible assistants. Not even assistants. I'm saying they got full steps.

37:49They got guys that run production companies. They got agents. Oh, yeah, I know. They got publicists. You know, there's a whole, because you don't want the problems. You ain't trying to fix Ben Affleck. You know what I'm saying? You need. I know. Well, he is. You would fit. He is one of my number one crushes. Affleck's top three? Top three? Matt and Ben were my first celebrity crushes, and they remain. I mean, I think Ben is actually such a brilliant. I wish people would give him the opportunity to talk more, actually. Oh, he's so smart. I think he's really, because he's such a stick man and he's been so prolific with women, I think people forget you can be smart and do that.

38:25And I think men, you know, I think representation matters. Exactly. That was huge for me. You know what? I'm here to take one for the team if he wants to call me. Sure, sure. You're willing to. But I'm saying, so where, okay, if you're, if you're striking out, where are you meeting these guys though? Cause I think Jason and I, you know, we're in our forties. I feel like we have some, we could give you some advice. Oh, I'd love your advice. We're experts in being men. I know that you had a podcast. You did a podcast sort of about this with a friend about your dating woes. I did. Yes. And you all, and you know, you were on Raya and things like that.

38:59So you're doing the standard. But I'm not anymore. No more Raya. Yeah. What happened on Raya? I just don't like the apps. You don't like hot guys that surf? User interface is a little clunky. You should try the - Surfing's tough. Why is surfing tough? Because they have to be so close to the beach. I live on the other side of town. That's actually very practical of you. You're saying, I don't need you to get up and drive your vintage Tacoma. But in Los Feliz, you take the 134 up to Malibu. You put a couple of your sticks on top of the Land Cruiser. It's vintage. No worries. he's back eating a breakfast burrito before you're awake i mean that's pretty hot that's fine with me i just feel like a lot of surfers like to live by the water like which i understand they like you know it's part of their whole vibe um but i just bought this house i'm not going anywhere yeah you're not trying to go okay you're not trying to get on you can get a bicycle yeah i think that like because are you trying to are you trying to keep it in your your general age group or are you trying to go a little older well yeah what's the search parameters on that age um 18 to 55 oh my god um i yeah i generally like a little bit older this episode of how long gone is brought to you by our new sponsor car gurus i'm a car junkie car shopping is a is a pain in the rear jason we all know that you know you go to the dealership you got a hassle with these bozos you're trying to leave that day they don't have the color they out of the interior finally go to home your side chick keys it meet car gurus discover a new search feature where you can look for vehicles based on the way you think using your own words no more being boxed in by filters i hate when filters do that whether you want to get great gas mileage for road trips or extra extra trunk space for the whole crew what the hell does that mean simply type it in and car gurus discover will give you real shoppable listings that match it's the smarter way to find the car that fits your chaotic life.

40:55Yeah. So it's no more just like, oh, I want a four-door Mazda, no purple. Now you can say, I want a car that can fit all my friends in the trunk comfortably. And it's no wonder why CarGurus is the number one most visited car shopping site. According to similar webs, estimated traffic data. Buy or sell your next car today with car gurus at cargurus.com go to cargurus.com to make sure your big deal is the best deal that is c-a-r-g-u-r-u-s.com cargurus.com but you're 22 so it's oh you're so nice like older is easy older is easy older so easy now now i'm like you know i'm i'm looking at dakota johnson and role model and i'm like god should i be should i be looking in the other direction you're trying to look for some you're trying to look for some role i just wonder if i should also be look look the the reality is most people older than me are married yeah so i kind of wonder if at this point i gotta like go back i gotta go back to the new okay well how low will you go because i know because you're probably you're younger than Dakota but and roles what I'm older than her oh really yes okay so their age gap is what like six years or something like that six or eight years I don't know probably I haven't done my research I should which is nothing crazy nothing crazy when a woman does it man tries to do that get crucified something to think about do you get crucified you just like keep you're like Leo and you just like keep dating hot the young girl I think that you get I think you get crucified when you're Leo unfortunately the crucifixion doesn't really reach your airpods you know what I mean Yeah, he doesn't care.

42:44And he shouldn't care. And when you're Leo, the crucifixion feels kind of good, actually. I'm actually sort of into being crucified. It's like training for a role. He's just like getting, you know, he's just prepping. Yeah, I mean, younger, I think younger, I just don't, I don't know. I think that sometimes that can be a recipe for disaster. But if you find the right one, of course, anything is possible. My wife has talked about this. She works in fashion and she meets a lot of young guys and women in your similar situation. Yeah. And a lot of her friends who are, you know, mid-30s are dating younger guys.

43:17One part because that's all there is out there. And number two, younger guys are a little bit more emotionally, you know, in touch with themselves. A little more, you know, less chauvinistic and misogynistic. Unless you get some. Boring. You want to. All right. So you want a pussy that don't even drive you? But you need that perfect balance of all of those things with a little bit of edge, right? No, Monica needs a little misogyny, I can tell. You need just a little pinch. You said it, not me. You know? I'm joking. I'm joking. But I do think that there's like a... Yeah, there's a fine line. Well, I think some of these young guys may be too emotionally immature to the point where it's like, yo, relax.

44:00We'll turn off. Yeah. It's like we don't have to talk about everything. Well, I talk about this sometimes because I, and you're, I mean, you're in a similar position to us career wise, but we're sort of paid to reflect constantly. Yes. Like you have to think about yourself all the time and what you, how you, what your opinion is or how you feel about this thing, which is deeply unhealthy and flawed, I would say as a, as a, as a premise. Yeah. It's, it's narcissistic really. Sounds cool to me. It beats having a real job. I mean, that's, that's fair. But I think young, I think young people like that's the default.

44:33like I think the default is like I am the main character I didn't think about myself all the time I know I'm saying it's bad for us but at least we get paid for it you know what I mean it makes it there's a small upside yeah small upside well bigger upside for you but there's an upside yeah I I know I think that's right again there's like all these trade-offs where it's obviously good to not be repressing all your shit but then yeah I think you could also be like very soft and very sensitive to the world which is a little you know can be a little like uh i can't carry this for you as they say the pussy just dries up at a certain point well yeah you know i still have i think i have a few more years before that happens are you talking about are you talking about the first episode of friends and neighbors where amanda pete's going through menopause because i it's on my mind too it's on my mind too you got pete on the brain menopause is scary you guys well amanda p it talks she talks to her friend it was just a funny it's basically like it it the rage that you get i guess is really like it basically she it's like she's gonna kill her neighbor for the dog shitting in her yard yeah hormones y 'all got it bad now that well on the topic of menopause i was i was thinking about um about egg freezing ah you really have done your research i don't know why don't i don't know how egg freezing pertains to you but i guess somebody in their mid-30s with with money i'm sure you've got a brochure or two um and i was thinking you know that phrase mr steal your girl chris yes yes i'm familiar with mr steal your girl from a from a rap rap song and i was thinking like the younger guys are going to almost volunteer to freeze the eggs you know with you versus you having to sort of you know pry them and sit them down and get them you know have the egg talk oh so guys are you know like a mr freeze your eggs captain save a hoe kind of thing these young guys are going to come in and be like i would just love to like freeze eggs with you and like see what happens that's a new line they're gonna say yo baby i mean i just love you so much like let's go ahead and make some embryos exactly i would freeze with you honestly i know it's only been six months but I'm like down to freeze real talk.

46:45Wow. Yeah, I love them. But when you hear that from a guy, the fine line is like, whoa. Or just like, oh, my God, I found my forever person. I think it depends on, again, your age. Like me now, if I met someone and I thought they were really great and they were like, you know, if you want to go ahead and just like freeze some embryos, I would be like, yeah, let's do it. I think. Actually, I don't know. Even me just saying that, I was like, would I? I don't know. I have frozen my eggs twice, but those are just eggs, you know, unfertilized. So those have a lower chance of, you know, being a little baby.

47:31Lower chance in the formed embryo. And you did thaw them out and refrost them or these are two separate freezing sessions and eggs two sessions okay and um so yeah like embryos are a better thing to freeze so i don't know though because like i'm also pretty paranoid i'm like we need to do a lot of like i need to learn about your history i need any i need to know before i'm any red flags that come up like biologically well what are what are the what are those things that you're looking out for you know beyond criminal record and and fico score like what are you looking for on the on the dna side of things three white what else that's it honestly that's it that's my those are my only requirements you're like i'm gonna do a deep forensic dive on how tall the boys in your family are yeah i need some average heights average heights would How white are you?

48:27Is it Ireland? What are we talking about? You want to go back. You want to get some lineage. You don't want to go Danish clear, motherfuckers. We don't want Arctic white, maybe a little eggshell white. I'm just worried about some cross-contamination. Get into your pharaoh ball bag, Jason. That was nice. I saw what you did there. We're kind of re-juzhing the garage, so I've got paint on the brain right now. I feel like you but you're not so you have you gone through the friends setup phase already and that hasn't panned out ish like i will not that many people have done setups i am in a very insular friend group that like everyone's married and also where i grew up too same situation like all my friends from home married their high school sweethearts so we're just like traveling in this pack of all these people you get to see all of it on facebook yeah i'm just like yeah i'm on facebook all the little fat kids no but you know when you're in a group of people that are coupled up it is not the best scenario to go out and meet people but i i love my friends and so i'm always choosing that you know i'm kind of always like yeah i'd rather just see monica monica maybe it's time to choose you you know oh wow that part that part okay so are you ever like at all time at like a six top and there's a cute guy and then all of your married drunk friends are like we should go talk to him like do they try to get you to do stuff like that or they they let you do your little thing they kind of let me do my thing that's not helpful yeah they're actually there my my sing you know my i would say that my single friends are you know 30 year old guys who are good looking but just kind of you know like they're just not motivated let's say the way the way that i think jason and i were in our younger days they're motivated more by other things yeah and i think there's been a societal shift i was motivated to ghost back then but that's kind of about it oh ghosting's fine i'm saying like they're not even motivated they're not even like they're like uh i'd rather just hang with the fellas like they don't yeah they don't want a partner yeah so what what motivated you to like why were you different i mean because i used to be fat and then I wasn't fat and then I was doing coke and I was like this is sick like there's chicks around I mean very simple very simple equation really yeah I just mean our our generation I'm 43 Jason's a little older than me it's sort of just like the thing you you went you chased tail and you did drugs that's what that's what your 20s were about and there was no there was no yoga there was no like thinking about what you were doing there was no and it was like debaucherous but it wasn't that you know it wasn't that crazy really you know what I mean it wasn't like actually that crazy i mean until it got crazy but until it hits yeah exactly but i just mean in general that was sort of what our generation women too i mean that's that's like what the generation have a five-year plan necessarily more so like what's going on tomorrow night where are we all going to meet up and get drunk especially when people are no one had like a real job i mean you know most people hung out with didn't even have aspirations for a real job quote unquote so there was more years of peter panning available to you yeah at that at that stage and now i think that's not even it's just not even i don't even think it's frowned upon i think it's just like different i think you're right society wise like even if you think about celebrity i mean like the time we're growing up it was like you would see celebrities leaving nightclubs every night like fall down drunk like that was the entire culture that we were raised on was like us weekly pictures of lindsey in paris like look pretty fun eyes closed leaving the viper room yeah i know i i i do find it a little like i shouldn't but like what is going on with like the younger generation they're they're doing all these things at a much lower frequency like they're drinking less they're having less sex they're having like it is it kind of goes back to what we were just talking like there's like very healthy things about that but there are but then there's twitch and then it gets a little spooky you know yeah and then there's isolation my issue is like, what are you doing?

52:32Exactly. If you're not doing those things. Yeah, I know. What are you doing then? And I think the answer is scrolling in some form or another. I know. It's not good. It'll snap back, I think. I mean, everyone has all the, and then there's the scrolling. There's the being afraid of having a photo of you posted online of you making a fool out of yourself. Yeah. Everyone's really afraid of that. I guess I'm not that afraid of it. Well, that's because we're not afraid of it because we literally say dumb shit three hours a week. But we've had the trial by fire. We've had the photo of us cross-eyed, drunk, posted on some social media.

53:08And we had a laugh and had some Advil and moved on with our lives versus it driving us to suicide. Yeah, yeah. Chris and I, our age, we're old enough now to people are like, tell us stories of what it was like in 2004. Oh my God, I'm still excited. You're saying MIA was popular and you could do coke and there was no fentanyl in it? Like, this is, this sounds sick. I know. Oh, well that, obviously that's a huge piece too. Yeah, no, definitely. I think that is, I do think that's real. And also everyone is like, when, I guess when we were in our twenties, we had a, everything's going to work out probably kind of thing.

53:45And kids nowadays are like, I don't have time to socialize. You know, the housing market is shit. The job market is shit. Yeah. The impending. The world is, is going to blow up anyway. Like there's a lot of pessimism. Yeah, so we don't have time for any of this tomfoolery. I need to get my 401k going. I need to start thinking about what happens when the global economy collapses and my bunker has enough Libby's canned fruit in it to last me through winter. God damn it. Exactly. What would you do without it, Jason? What would you do without it? And alcohol is freaking bad for your cortisol receptors and your circadian rhythms.

54:25I know. It's like, stop telling us these things. But then Andrew Tate is getting his dick sucked with a bottle of tequila on his lap. And they're like, so how come he can do it? But I can't do it. My brain is scrambled. Time to shoot a school. I finally read a good story about all that Manosphere stuff. But I can't listen to it anymore. I can't hear about it. Did you watch the doc, the Louis Theroux doc? Yeah, well, we talked about it. We watched it. And I was just sort of like, I mean, if you're online, you're like sort of know all of this. Like, I think I think the most interesting part was how they interacted with him because they were like sort of scared of him.

55:03Yeah. That was the biggest takeaway for me. Yeah. That they sort of turned the swag down when this like dorky British guy came around. Like they didn't know how to handle him, which is a testament to how good he is. I think that's like the whole point is to disarm is to disarm. So good. But yeah, I don't I don't because you I mean, you you work with a toxic man. So I'm sure you deal with this all the time. I'm sure you deal with this all the time. Through this conversation, what I'm realizing is I work with you. Everything you're saying, you don't listen, it sounds like, but you're him. Oh, we've all listened.

55:34We're not. Come on. We all listen. There's definitely a narcissism of small differences in play. Look, we're going to be honest with you, Monica. We get a little jealous when the people that do exactly what we do, but they make a hundred times the money. It's not personal. I'm happy for you. Thank you. I appreciate that. I'm happy for the whole family. I'm just actually you're not the problem Smartless is the problem that's the real problem I'm going to stay quiet No no I'm saying that for us I'm saying I have nothing to do with you Are you guys still beefing with Smartless Why do you want to stay quiet You don't have to beef down That's the key that's when you're on top you don't got to beef down That's right Here's a follow up question Do you think Dax's arms have become too big for the chair nowadays Oh him and I We talk about this all the time He's enormous He's just enormous he knows it it's not that he's blind to it he knows it because he's trying to look like that yeah yeah exactly look all of us who have body dysmorphia know it I love the idea of him being like wait shit I'm like huge Monica why didn't you tell me he said he's like I think I'm ready to like you know go down a little bit or whatever lean out exactly but this is the problem I see it every time we have a male guest every time they the first thing they say oh my man you you are chagged what are you doing like and look the truth is if someone if every time we recorded the guest the woman was like oh my god like what are you doing to your skin what are you doing to your hair i'd be like i'm never changing i have never changed uh this is a really this is a really great point so when Brad Pitt sits on across the room from you and compliments your body.

57:23Why on earth would you ever do something different? Why would you like he's getting all the validation? And if Haley Bieber is like, Monica, please tell me your skincare routine because you're absolutely glowing. You wouldn't change a thing. Not a thing. This is very logical. I'd be like, I'm doing life right. Put the sperm salmon on auto subscribe at that point. Probably. This is very, this is, this is very logical actually. And I had not, I had not considered this at all. Oh, he says this all the time. And he's like having like a body like this or muscles are working out. He's like, it's for men.

57:51Oh, we say that. We say working men work out for men. Women don't care about that shit. Yeah. I don't. I disagree. You work out for ladies. He's different. He's big in a man way. But if you get big in like an actor way, it's gay. Yeah. I think it applies to shorter people. I'm 6 '9", so I've never felt the need to impress men. Oh, interesting. I'm not saying I'm trying to impress men. I'm saying that women are not impressed. Exactly. Is what I'm trying to say. Well, it's kind of... That's false. That's so false. No, it's 100%. I'm saying like, maybe from an optic, but I'm saying they don't... Women would much rather be rich than have a fucking eight-pack, 100%.

58:27I mean, luckily we don't have to make that A-B decision. I don't. I don't, personally. But there might be somebody out there that I never will have to deal with that, but there's some people out there struggling. I think women enjoy a man with a good, muscular body, and I don't think that's ever going to go out of style, Chris. No, I think they do, but I think what I'm saying is that the way women dress for women, men dress for, men work out for men, is what I'm trying to say. It's like a status thing amongst you guys. But I agree that like, in both ways, like when you see a woman, like who didn't, clearly didn't brush her hair for the past like eight days, it's like, eh, like, well, I don't know, I'm not going to speak for you, but my guess is, you're going to be like, oh no.

59:12And same with a woman seeing a man who maybe has not taken care of himself. I think the taking care of him, I think you're right, taking care of yourself and being like an absolute freak creatine TRT is different. Yeah, that's different. But it is time for me to tell you I did start taking creatine. It's popular for women now, thank God. I love it. It's actually for my neuro stuff. Yes, cognitive. I'm firing. Monica, which sponsor sent you this? Thorn. Okay, great. Yeah, Thorn. Actually, they're not a sponsor, but I really wish they would be. I take Thorn creatine as well. It's good. You guys taking the startup creatine?

59:55You all taking the podcast creatine? No. My Hubies. My Huberman pow pow. Does he make his own? No, but he, I mean, I'm sure he probably has his own line. He's a Thorn advocate. Yeah, he's spoken positively about Thorn. I mean, it's the expensive one that looks scientific. It's reputable. I buy that shit all day long. Yeah. Good packaging. Sure. I love good packaging. But yeah, I think you present your body and your hair and your clothes and everything subconsciously or not to attract who you want to attract. And I just happen to be into women, so that's who I'm dressing for and adjusting my body for.

1:00:32All right, bro. Pull out that leather vest you bought for a second. Show it to Monica. Hey, let me just move my purple Air Max out of the way to show you my leather vest. Oh, wow. And do you pair those two together? hopefully. On my OnlyFans, yeah. This is what I'm trying to say. That's so funny that you had that there. I thought you'd gotten rid of it by now. I'm glad that really worked, Monica. I didn't know if you had it, Monica. You know when you hang up that dress that's too big for you? I mean, too small for you as like little inspo? That's good. I do that with my vest because I have a little under-titty fat that pokes out because it's too small for me.

1:01:05Okay. So as soon as the under-titty fat stops poking out, I'll be happy with my body. Monica, you know how it is. You've never been properly fitted for a bra and then you finally get it and you're like, oh my My God, I can't believe how well this fits. This is crazy. I have no idea. Change my life. You should do ads for like skims. That sounds perfect. We do. We actually do do ads for skims. Skims is great. I can't wear it. It's really well done, and I love the stores, and I love the whole thing, but it's a mental block. It has nothing to do with the product. Oh, really? The product is good. It doesn't feel masculine enough.

1:01:38It feels like a little still too like lingerie or like women's workout clothing coated. Well, it's very easy for a men's brand to introduce women's. You know what I mean? To me, in my mind, it's like a much easier way to go. I think most men think of Skims as stuff for their chick who watches Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Right. But the product is good. It's fine. They're doing just fine. But I just mean I think it's harder to go that way than the other way. Yeah, you're right. I'm seeing some through lines with your thoughts on who we present our body for, Chris. I don't. I'm perfectly clear on my statements, and I won't be walking any of them back.

1:02:17You know I never walk my statements back. I don't want you to walk them back. I just want you to see the through lines of you thinking that you have your nice muscles for men and men only, but you don't want to wear the women's coated masculine underwear. Oh, I see. No, I would just wear a thong. But that's maybe still about men. He doesn't want men to think he's like a little like fairy. No, Monica. No, they all think I'm gay already. There's nothing I could do. There's no amount of underwear I could wear or not wear that would change the narrative on my sexuality for better or worse. Wait, so you're 6 '9".

1:02:49Tell me about what it's like to be 6 '9 in the world. Well, I would say, you know, a lot of doors open up for you being really tall. But, you know, it is also a handicap that nobody has sympathy for. buying clothes shoes sitting in cars airplanes you know nine 99 of the time whatever situation i'm in is uncomfortable for me so hitting your head on doorways sitting on couches that are made for regular people washing your hands at sinks that are knee length okay things like that that's really hard i know it's so hard it's so tough but then men want to be you and women want to fuck you so it kind of all evens out on the wall and it has nothing unless you're like really ugly and stupid right i bet even still well we'll make it work we'll find a way yeah you get points on the board even still i don't i mean i i do think jason suffers in silence and i'm glad that how long gone has given him a platform to talk about you know what i mean it's a good place to be vulnerable he hasn't even talked about he hasn't even mentioned how he lives on stolen land we're gonna get into that an hour two so it's a little hard it's tough for him it's tough for him today luckily i have some native blood so i don't have to yeah you're fine so i'm the one that people acknowledge too not i don't the acknowledge is incoming not outgoing monica let's talk i want to talk about how much you prepare when you because we don't prepare that much that's sort of our whole thing jason prepares more than me i'm i i will if it's a book i would read normally i will read it if it's a show i would you know what i mean if it's something i'm interested in i'm gonna i'm gonna do it because I would do it anyway.

1:04:25What is your policy, or does a producer hand you some cards and you're ready to rock? No, so we do a sort of weird thing. Dax is the host, and I co-host, but not in an even way. It's his show, and I commit. And so he does a lot of research, all on his own. And I kind of chime in as the audience in some ways. So like, sure, sure. You know, I'm like, this doesn't make any sense. So I'm gonna ask or just whatever, if I have an organic question, but I'm not coming in with any necessarily prep questions. Sometimes I do, but I'll tell him ahead of time, like, I want to ask this because something. no but it's sofia coppola i have to ask her well for real it's like okay this is a fashion person like we got i it's my turn like we're talking but he does have like kind of an arc you know he has like a thing so you know we discuss that a bit so it doesn't like go completely off the rails if but but we're also we we kind of yeah we do it but he he does a lot of research does a lot is the arc that you're talking about sort of the very popular arc that a lot of podcasts do which is let's start from the start life story where they stole that from us just fyi so you guys invented interviewing people we invented starting from the start starting let's just get let's just start from okay so where were you born it's funny because i hate that part of anything like any book about childhood i'm like skip those chapters i don't give a fuck about this like let's start when it gets interesting and i i feel like i'm really in the minority on that because i think most people's childhoods are pretty mundane or tragic two things i'm not super interested in hearing about you know what i mean oh i'm pretty interested in hearing about tragedies because you because you think it informs the well exactly and it does i mean it does yeah and you're a true crime shorty too so give you a little darkness you like that probably yeah yeah i mean i want to yeah i I do think people want to know like why is this person who they are?

1:06:33I mean, that's sort of our whole premise. Even when we have experts on, we'll start there. Because really it's like what made you go to school for 85 years? Most people don't do that. So there's a reason. And I do think we start at the start, but it pretty quickly goes to like, so what's your relationship with your dad? Like it's, it's not. Okay. Yeah. We, we want it. We want the good stuff. But people, I think people come in, people come in ready to bust it wide open. They do. I mean, I think you're prepared. Kleenex already. We get some. But when you get a dud, how do you push through? Yeah.

1:07:11So there does have to be a lot of like pivoting because some people just don't want to get personal at all. Some people know. Some people suck. It ain't about getting personal. Some people are just bad at it. Well, I think some people suck, but also some people are like, I want to come on a podcast like Amy Poehler's or whatever, where we're going to hang out and laugh and look at internet videos and you're going to compliment me and I'm going to go get lunch and that's it versus the trope of like, I'm the podcast host. You're doing me a favor by coming on my show. I'm going to make money off of you.

1:07:43Here's a microphone. Tell me your life story for four hours and me and my co-hosts are going to be like, wow, that's crazy. I mean, I think that we do a good, I hope a good job of a mix. Like it's a, it's a lot. It is mostly conversation. In fact, sometimes I think it's too much. It's like, we got to get back to whatever. Like we're talking, it's we're off the rails or we're too much on us. Like, we, you know, we talk about us too. Like it's very back and forth. As you should. The problem is that's what people actually want. At least an hour. I mean, to some extent, I think there's a little bit of like the guest is, is sort of.

1:08:21Yeah. Do you consider your show to be a talent driven show or a host driven show? That's a good question. Okay, Jason, come in here. Relax. Jason doesn't work for Spotify. He sounds like the feds. Well, I mean, you guys do episodes without guests? Well, no. Our fact checks don't have guests, but everything else has a guest. We have a show on Fridays where we talk to listeners. I guess I would say it's host-driven then. I think the fact that also we have such a loyal audience that they don't really care who it is. We'll get extra people, obviously, for the people that are, you know, but our audience...

1:09:02I do think you're right. Maybe it comes for us. They'll listen to Jen Aniston and Jenny Garth and the downloads will be about the same. Obviously, Aniston get a little bigger bump, but that does mean that you are host-led if people will listen to it, sort of regardless of who the guest is. I think that's the biggest misconception about podcasting is that the guest is such a... It's like, it's fun for us because we get to talk to them and it's like interesting for us and we try to have fun with it. But the audience, it's just the audience. I don't think it based on numbers, the audience cares a little bit.

1:09:33Right. I don't think that's the majority of the reason that they're tuning in a couple of times a week or whatever. Well, I also like as a listener of podcasts, I like tuning into the hosts. Like I'm not there for a guest of a podcast. often the ones where people are just two people chatting the whole time those are my favorite it's like under it because that's the parasocial piece you're gonna love how long gone monica i gotta say you gotta check out how long i'm gonna have to check it out check it out look i've listened to your fucking podcast listen to mine yeah this is bullshit why are you even here what the fuck is the problem we've all listened to your you know what i heard i heard one of you on um on lauren sherman's podcast okay are you are you a shermanator yeah you're a fashion person i love fashion okay i do love that so you listen to lauren shout out to lauren okay you heard one of us on lauren's show but you've never listened to hell i'm gone you're just aware of the name of the show well right because when you guys were someone was on there and i was like oh yeah and so they must be she anointed you i was like well they must be cool okay i'll take it i appreciate i appreciate the honesty actually because i if i i mean i don't listen to anybody's shit it's fucking boring you know i mean listen i also edit our show i am like i am i don't have time i just i can't oh i didn't realize you edited the show i edit our show content edit so i make you know i'm in charge of what stays and what goes okay so when dax has got his third needle in his ass in the morning you're fucking on the computer make it all happen so like you you are physically editing like in i used to edit an audition now that we're on video um i i get the video made and I make timestamp on frame.io edits.

1:11:17Frame.io. We're familiar with.io. I edit this podcast and we are starting to dabble in video so I'm trying to teach myself Adobe Premiere right now. Not as easy as audio but we're getting there. Monica, I didn't know that. That's cool. Thank you. I want to be clear that you're earning your keep you know what i mean you're not don't you don't you were underselling yourself as this like oh i'm just because you're you're honestly you're doing like the hard work well yeah i also produce the show yeah i mean i don't like there's there are three of us it's dax me and rob we and we do the whole thing so i mean that's kind of us i mean this me and jason basically do the whole thing it's not the same yeah it's a lot of i mean it's a full we have three shows a week and it is um same chica i didn't expect to find the i didn't expect to find so many similarities.

1:12:09I have to be honest. Just a couple of Eastside LA podcasters making three episodes a week. You hit a thousand episodes not too long ago. We're at like 930. So we're, we are more, we are more alike than we realize. So if you are like the, if your podcast is the Ted Lasso of podcasts, you know, sort of earnest maxing, what would you say we are? I don't love that, but okay. It's not my favorite an analogy but ted lasso is a very popular critically acclaimed award-winning show but okay well what go on what do you based on how you know the last hour of conversation oh i think are we are we dtfst louis oh are we mad men rewatch you know you guys friends and neighbors i'm giving ham right you're not giving ham you're not he's so much shorter than you that's right that's the only main difference this is a huge difference yeah you guys are gritty you are not afraid you're not you're not afraid to like put people in weird positions we didn't put you in any weird positions no no I'm kidding also but I mean I do this It's like we do this.

1:13:32We talk about everything. No, we could append your last on the wall if we wanted to. We chose not to. Wow. We chose not to. Do you do that to people? No, no, I'm joking. If they deserve it. I mean, occasionally, I just think that if somebody's a dud, they're sort of choosing to be a dud, and therefore they deserve a little ribbing. Yeah. A little bit of, yeah, you come into the square and you are a dud or you're an asshole or you just have a bad attitude. we're gonna you know do a little public flogging of you on the on the spotify world stage jason i always say this we'd be doing this with or without you so you can either get down or lay down like i like right get with the program and let's have fun or you can leave it's like what's the what's the point for everybody at that at that stage have you ever had anyone on who you feel like you guys are walking you're like oh my god like i'm nervous like this is a big guest and and like we do need to make sure we're doing something a little has that ever happened Other than you, not really.

1:14:29Nah, not in a while. I mean, I would say there's certain musicians that I have a great reverence for, but I wasn't, I wasn't like, it was like a respect thing. It wasn't like a nerves thing, if that makes sense. It's like this thing, like XYZ has been part of my life for so long that this feels like a real full circle thing. Johnny Marr from the Smiths or, you know. We're going to have the same conversation probably, but like there is a little bit of, you know what it is? I think that like that level of person has no idea and doesn't care who you are. which I appreciate. Whereas when we're talking to some of these writers and media people and fellow, there's a little bit of tit for tat, like I know what you guys are up to.

1:15:06Whereas with fucking Richard Ashcroft, he's like, what time is it? Where am I? But oh, what's up guys? Yeah, and then he can just be real. Yeah. Whereas Lorde is like, she knows what we're going to do and how we're going to try to get her. And then a guy from Pavement is just like, what is this? Yeah, but the what is this is kind of a perfect situation for us. honestly the what is this usually works in our favor when it's all said and done yeah but i actually i thought of one or two of them recently two recent episodes that or i got a little excited and like i want to make sure i do a good job rachel zoe and nicole richie oh yeah that's great two queens but they were both like too easy sort of because they're actually cool yeah yeah that's awesome super awesome monica well thank you for um taking the time to chat with us you know in our busy podcast schedules.

1:15:59This was fun. Yeah, we appreciate it. We really do. Thank you. And go Dawgs, etc. Go Dawgs. Go Duluth. Okay, that's enough. Go Backyard Bowls. Now we're talking. If I had a team, it'd be called the Bowls. Do you ever get the chocolate chip cookie at Lazy Acres? I have had it. Why does it taste so good? It's so good. They have it on a heating tray 24 hours a day. The cookie is always warm. The chocolate chips are always gooey. Oh, I didn't know Lazy Acres was 7-Eleven. During their open hours, there's always warm cookies, plump for the taking, and a great selection of dairy there. I'm with you on that.

1:16:35Chris, you've got to get yourself. After you get your$16 full brew, I could get a chocolate chip cookie and kind of top it off. Oh, that sounds like a delight. Big East Side Day. Yeah, and the hot bar at Lazy Acres, they'll have some nice little tofu curries and some kind of more elevated vegetarian offerings for Chris. He's a vegetarian. I love elevated offerings. You know that. I had a tofu curry last night. That's why it's fresh in the brain. Monica, we appreciate you. Thanks, guys. This was fun. Thanks, Monica. We'll see you later. Have a good one. Bye. Let's rage. And here you are. You were going to come to me.

1:17:08And here you are. But you better choose carefully. Because I'm capable of anything. Of anything. And everything. Make me your effort, darling.