935. - Jago Rackham

30:46Jason Stewart:do well he's on a media tour right now so it's exhausting they pay you for the press not for the book you know i don't i think he's i think it's a combo of both and i want to see what it's looking like because i just i feel like you're gonna have a freaky little schedule for us so okay let's let's do yesterday great then but then when i say it is like doesn't actually even sound like very much and i'm like oh i'm really lazy bro i was complaining about i'm in milan and i'm tired from walking around today looking at chris is exhausted from checking out bathrooms you you're like yeah trying to finish an essay about octopus yeah exactly which i don't eat because it's too clever and i'm trying to i'm trying to edit out the racist jokes on this show we all have jobs to do guys we all everybody's got a cross to bear all right so you're saying all right look yesterday in your life?

31:32What are we looking at? Yesterday I did a podcast in the morning. I answered some emails.

31:40Jason Stewart:Damn, you're living my exact life. I made a chicken soup with a really nice, with like a peanut kind of base. It was delicious actually. Hold on, you put peanut base? Peanut base? What the hell are you talking about? I just put some peanut in there. As well as the fucking, what's the Thai spice where it's like Massaman. Hold on. Is it peanut butter or do you just throw loose peanuts into chicken broth? What do you think? I honestly don't know. Do you crush them up? At this point with you, honey, I don't know. Yeah, peanut butter. I used the smooth peanut butter. I was hoping when you took off one of your Damila Muster boots and fucking smashed the peanuts on the fucking...

32:22You know, sprinkled them in a little bit. I could dig them from the ground.

32:26Jason Stewart:Okay, you were thinking like a Thai, satay, Southeast Asian kind of thing going on you weren't just like black out and just like maybe I put peanut butter in the soup you know like it's a Massaman curry it was like a bastardized version of the Massaman curry like a peanut soup I made that there was something stressful but it's not in my diary so I can't remember what it was then I had to cycle across London to Clapham which took a while not Clapham yeah exactly oh yeah because it got famous recently for having all those it's funny because it's like one of the fanciest parts of london but okay apparently overrun but with gangs you can't clap them join them as they say that's what i always say okay you rode the bike to was it uh was it your own bicycle vintage and rustic or was it an electric line the latter i'm a man of my times people think i'm like some kind of fucking people always like oh you're I always wear a fucking t-shirt.

33:28Everyone is mean and like... No, bro, you're giving a guy who cooks by candlelight and you know it. Don't even say that. You create a visual aesthetic. I know you guys have electricity because you're podcasting right now, but otherwise I wouldn't be sure. I had to actually borrow a generator. All right, so you biked all the way to Clapham. What was in Clapham? I had to take a phone call, but it was just before I was meeting a chef at a place where a really great restaurant called Crispin. I was at a museum called Studio Voltaire. Next week, I'm cooking a big dinner for my book there. I was doing a site visit.

34:03I had to have a phone call with my friend Zoe in New York, first of all, had the site visit. Then I went to the library. I met my friend Isaac. Then I had to cycle. I went to a birthday party for this restaurant, Clipston. And then I went home. But when I tell you that, it sounds like a... No, that's a long day. No, that's a long day. It sounds like a day off. No, that's a long day.

34:26Jason Stewart:It sounds like a beautiful summer day of a student. Rode my bike to the park, hung out with Lucy. I talked to Zoe for a while on the phone. She's doing okay. Yeah. Bro, your life is a Belle and Sebastian song, head-ass boy. Dead-ass, dead-ass. Dead-ass Belle and Sebastian. Was Zoe going through it, or did you just need to catch up with her? Were you providing counsel? It was about a shoot we're doing for an important French fashion magazine. It wasn't just chatting. So when Zoe calls you for the important French magazine shoot, you're bringing to the table some food. Yeah. In this case. I bring food to the table.

35:04Jason Stewart:I bring food. I just wanted to make sure there wasn't. What do you do for a living? I bring food to the table. No, I will. Actually, no, for this one, I'm being profiled by the magazine, so I'm being photographed. I will do some food. It's about me. As it should be. As it should be. All right. So, okay. No, that's a pretty full day. I mean, that doesn't, to be fair, I mean, you're not working in the mines, but that doesn't necessarily sound any different than Jason and I's days, you know, depending on what we're looking at. It's what success looks like now. Like, basically, it's like going and like meeting someone and having lunch somewhere and then going somewhere else and having a coffee or a juice.

35:39This is what happens though. Like, I'm in Milan and I'm feeling unmoored if I, because I, you know, if you're out all day, I start to feel crazy because I haven't had laptop time. I feel like I need two hours in front of the computer to feel grounded just to feel like I know what's going on. with one hand. My two front teeth are sticking out. I'm sucking my thumb so much. He needs his Twitter baba or else he gets angry. Not even that. The social media stuff, I'm happy to do on my phone. I literally feel like I can look at an email on my phone and it doesn't register in the same way as it does on my computer.

36:10I can't do email on my phone. Yeah, I mean, I do obviously in a pinch, but if I'm really...

36:15Jason Stewart:It's undignified to type an email with your little thumbs. Yeah, with your thumbs. wouldn't it be better if the if the english government decided if you're born after 2009 you have to email on the medium screen you can't be the small screen or the big screen what do you think that's a nice idea i think that's a great idea i also don't know what the big screen is um there's your television your your computer and your phone and people email on their tvs no not really but it's more of a reference to people will say like i leave my job on the medium screen i can't wait to right leave my medium screen and go to my big screen i'm sorry i'm sorry i thought it was the thing i'd miss you don't you don't have a tv though because you're such an anarchist or because you don't watch love island no i really actually you know my cousin was on love island this episode of how long gone is brought to you by squarespace jason something about us we love websites and we know how important they are and if you don't have one you're going to get left behind.

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38:16Jason Stewart:You stay connected with all of your emailers and you know if there's a lead that pops up from your blast. Oh shit. Squarespace knows how to sniff it out. I'm going to go to squarespace.com slash how long for a free trial and when you're ready to launch use offer code how long to save 10 % off your first purchase of a website or domain. Go get cracking with Squarespace. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to us by our friends at dart collective um i think we can all agree that wedding music is typically quite lame cheesy and it doesn't represent the bride and groom's personal music taste luckily dart works with actual musicians and artists many of whom have their own productive careers or tour in bands you've heard of everyone from leon bridges to taylor swift dart djs use vinyl and are cool in a way that your peers would be not a dated carnival cruise performer they even have an in-house stylist to make sure all personnel look perfect on the day uh dart travels all over the world for events from morocco to italy greece and the maldives dart has done huge celebrity events and also intimate ones yeah chris i uh i am personally friends with michael from dart and i have worked with them for years uh i think the last time i did a big one we did the uh the sweet green wedding.

39:34Jason Stewart:They set up a beautiful booth for the ceremony, just some cocktail music, some vinyl, some cool vibes. And then they set up a whole big tent with a crazy bumping sound system for me to play in later. These guys are great. A lot of people always ask me like, hey, you know, do cool wedding DJs exist? Do cool event people exist? The cool part about Dart is they'll work with people like me to come and DJ your party, as well as provide all the gear and and all the consulting and all that stuff. So if you don't know who to hire for your event, Dart Collective is the one. Dart, just like throwing a dart, dash collective.com.

40:13Jason Stewart:And ask for Mike. His email address is michael at dart-collective.com. Tell him we sent you. So if you have an event coming up this summer, Dart Collective is where you go. On Love Island, Australia. and she had the first ever same-sex kiss on love island i'm very proud of it okay throw that on the wiki so you're saying your cousin's a lesbian she got tongue down on tv in australia i think she at that point was saying that she was bisexual you don't have to be a lesbian to kiss somebody on love island chris that i've never watched that program shockingly but that's big i know that was big for your family they got you and they got her that's i mean we're taking over it's a yeah it's a it's a it's a whole thing and we're like um rackham's in charge now bitch that's what you're saying yeah exactly no no what did she go on what did she do after with her post love island success what did she turn that into she um finished her master's she you know she she is a business woman sure sure do you mind do you mind explaining which business that is andrew tate kind of way got it she was making money she was in the entertainment in the entertainment business I understand.

41:27Down Australia, too, I feel like you can get away with a lot down there. I feel like it's a fun place to be an expat. As long as you're white, pretty smooth sailing down there. Yeah, you're good to go. And I know she's white. It is. It is. It is. She's half Chinese. Oh, shit. Damn. All right. I'm sorry. I apologize. I apologize.

41:44Jason Stewart:I apologize. I apologize for your cousin's rights. Yeah, you should be sorry. You should be sorry. I get the payback card. Yeah, payback's going to be a bitch. I'm sorry. That was an English joke. that was an english joke because you guys are so white you know what i mean we are very white physically we are like look at me you can you can't the only reason you know that it's not my t-shirt my skin is because it's got a it's not good it's like tan it's pink it's like a pig like a pig wearing a shirt yeah now what happens if you guys go on holiday what if you go to spain with the family you coming back tomato mode or do you do you get a nice dark i wear factor 50 I sit in the shade No I love being hot but I burn If I'm not very careful What about you Chris in the south Are you tanned Yes Bro I tan like a Chick in the 80s in a bed That she paid for in a fucking strip mall No I mean I'm not I don't burn really unless I'm like sitting on the equator For a cracker ass cracker he does tan well I will say Yeah I don't get super red Okay I'm sorry Chris I don't know your source.

42:53I'm sorry. It's totally fine. I'll call it even because I said the thing about your cousin. You said the thing about me. I think we're zeroed out now. I can't remember that there's two of you. Whoever made the noise last is the one I end up nervously insulting. That's great.

43:14Jason Stewart:You'll get used to it after a while. Don't worry. I'm with the big boys. I need to make the jokes. So you've done some other low-level podcasts, I assume. Are those more in the food space? Did you do Ruthie's this morning? Yeah, which pod did you do? You're doing Desert Island Discs? And nothing compared to you. You'd be great on Desert Island Discs. BBC, I know you're listening. Yeah, come on, BBC. You have to be kind of like either a titan of industry, which in the UK means you own the biggest denture factory, or or you or you I know you read a book in the 80s I'm not old enough I do feel like when I look at that on my podcast app I would say and I feel like I'm pretty tapped in maybe one in four is someone I know I don't understand the choices that they make it's weird you get like they will put like a senior civil servant on It'll be like, this person was in charge of checking weights and measures for the last 50 years.

44:22Jason Stewart:Me? Definitely, maybe. I'm taking that with me. No cap. If they're only booking old people, maybe they're just afraid of having to publish someone's Bebadoobie as number three on their... This is what I'm thinking about. yeah like what if someone do you guys did you guys hear of the crazy frog which was like a thing that we had here like the song the crazy frog yeah i know i don't know what that is you should look it up afterwards but that was that was british culture when i was a teenager it was important and so like maybe people will be choosing that i think the idea is that because that concept could work for anyone they make it work for anyone you know what i mean like it's really it really is it's so simple you could that it's adding to someone's grandmother yeah everybody's got an opinion and they'd be like i love michael buble and that one song from the tchaikovsky opera the like dance of the black nights crazy frog and f minor i need to look up crazy frog because you guys got so much funny little funky shit over there chris you know crazy frog you know the the Beverly Hills cop song where it's like do do do do do oh that's crazy frog it's just a cover of that song but it's a cgi animated yeah kind of frog character from uh I'm looking it up 2003 it was somebody on on Eurodance oh sure created this character and and when the song drops the crazy frog says the words crazy frog and then you know it turns into an anthemic dance song oh that sounds good it's actually it is actually okay but what happened was it became a ringtone but like an early phone the gift and the curse marketed by the ringtone provider jamba with an exclamation point there you go and it was number one for like an ungodly amount of time and i remember they would they refused to play it on our one radio station because you don't have to go around the radio to listen to the one radio station and they'd be like we're not playing this because they didn't think it was proper music It is not proper music.

46:24Jason Stewart:I will agree with them. When the Beatles started, like when the Sex Pistols, Crazy Frog, you know, all these things. Crazy Frog was the very first Trojan horse, like the Sex Pistols, but for slop music, I guess. They're the first slop. Yeah, actually, I think it was. It was the Sex Pistols. Slop Pistols. You've got to respect innovation. It's like Green Day is like the Crazy Frog. no i don't and yeah green day is too crazy frog ass we talk about green day a lot on this on this podcast so i'm glad that you brought that up i actually love green day i love early green day especially well a lot of people love early green day but i think eventually billy joe is going to come on the pod and we're going to be able to grill him like one of your fucking birds yeah will you spatchcock him first yo chill bro chill i ain't into all that shit bro i mean we've been We've referred to him as having a lesbian haircut for a couple years now.

47:24Jason Stewart:He's really transitioned. But I think Billy knows that. I think he's leaning in. Own it, girl. I think he's comfortable in his skin. I think he's so rich that if he wasn't comfortable in his skin, there'd be a problem. What does spatchcock mean? I know it's a phrase. It's kind of face down, ass up. That I understand. In the oven at 350? It is. It kind of is, to be honest. it's where you you so if you're saying it's when the chef is bottoming is that what you're saying no the chef is i'll let you you're the i'll let you explain go on you're the expert no you're the expert no you both are experts it sounds like little freaks but i want to i would rather give you the i would rather give you the floor sorry thank you yeah it's where you slice like through the where the rib cage of a bird is and so you open it up so that you have it flat so you can cook a bird flat and quicker.

48:16Okay. Basically. Oh, that's a very fun term for that. Yeah. Yeah, it's good.

48:21Jason Stewart:Yeah, you spatch that cock. You spatch it. Bro. I get the cock and I spatch it. You didn't go to school for this, right? Are you a self-taught shorty? Yeah. I studied politics. Oh, wow. How's that working out? It was fine. I got very good grades at school. I bet you did, little kiss-ass. You were a little brown-noser, weren't you? No. I was almost getting expelled all the time. And I got good. I would go to school drunk. Okay, so you were partying, but you could still pull it off. I'm like, no, fuck you. I wasn't a nerd. I got quite good grades while being blackout drunk. Yeah. Well, then when did you discover the knife skills?

48:58I always liked cooking. I would cook for my friends when I was a teenager. Luanna, my partner, who was also at the dinner when you were at. Yeah. Her mom would play a lot, so when I'd go around there, I'd cook for her. You guys have been together that long? since we were 13 what? yeah it was a long time it's like medieval you still ain't put a ring on it big bro? we've been engaged since we were like 21 and then it's this thing where we're like okay we just need a really close friend to get a big house because I don't want to rent a house but I don't want to you know? sure we all want that

49:33Jason Stewart:book advance was good it wasn't that good yeah I get it but am I going to go to like Butlins? you don't know what that is what is that? Butlins? butlins is like a uh it's like a camp where you go like for for people and their families to go and like i know have fun by the seaside that sounds pretty good to me sounds like a fucking j crew activation to me it's lovely it's lovely i can't i mean if i described it properly i would sound classist and horrible so i'm just gonna i'm leaving it so you're so you're you're fine you guys are fine where you are and she's not putting the heat on she hates me she's like come on yeah that's all good that's all good relationships yeah we're pausing we're pausing that while i will i ruthlessly pursue success and then i have to get back into like trying to understand how to be a loving partner you're like babe i need a couple years to ruthlessly pursue success and then i'll get right back on it i'm sorry it's like absolutely true i mean you gotta but what do you do when you when you're in that mindset but you're the one who goes to the kitchen to make the sandwich we need to have some some balance in this relationship you're supposed to be hustling and grinding she's doing your laundry rubbing your feet making you a sandwich doing the dishes but if you're doing all of it what's she'd up to painting painting yeah okay okay she looks pretty there you go it takes a lot of time it does it does you live with a woman it's a lot of it's a lot of effort and i i kind of mess all the time she also she she chooses my clothes which is nice i'm like i i was like i'll choose what we eat but you have to shop for me i mean our lives are i mean i joked before that our daily diary entries are quite similar you know do a podcast and have yeah have our missus pick out what we're gonna wear to school today and then i have to make the yummy supper but yeah i feel like you have a good sense of style yourself though is it just something that she's better at or does she just really love it and you let her do it or are you shit at dressing no i mean well because i just wear like the same thing every day i just wear like a jacket and trousers of the same color and a white t-shirt but if i would do anything more interesting then i like also i i guess i i don't she doesn't choose what i wear every day but if i i would never want to buy clothes without her being like that's nice i feel lost i got this this brand gave me a suit because i did a thing with them but i haven't got and picked it up yet because we haven't made our schedules work so that she can come and hold my hand when i choose the suit like chaperone what brand what brand is this uh it's called drakes yeah we know drakes you're i mean you can't really go wrong there but i feel like you are you sort of are a darling of the fashion world so i feel like maybe this is not the first or last free suit daddy's getting i hope not come on you don't you it's nice to have some clothes i haven't got any of your clothes.

52:20Jason Stewart:It'll be nice to eventually stop getting paid in suits, though. I don't like... yeah. Yeah, exactly. You have a whole... You're saying you prefer legal tender over garments for payment. A combination of the two is nice, too. Combination. I think a combination because there's only so much you can tax back before it gets suspicious and like... Mm-hmm. Like, I don't know, the Drake suit, for instance, I don't know, would have 2 ,000 pounds. I wouldn't buy a suit for that much. So it's kind of fun. I agree. Oh, for sure. And you deserve it. You'll look great in it. It'll be nice to have. Thank you, sweetheart.

52:57Jason Stewart:And shout out to the good people at Drake's. We love those guys. I pulled some notes for the book. I was reading it this morning in the sauna. And I feel like... How do you read a book in the sauna? It doesn't get damp? Well, it's an infrared dry sauna, not a steam. The book does get damp, for sure, just from my sweat and stuff. But the sauna itself is dry. but um chris not a big food cooking cookbook guy he he's a book collector but i feel like the opening line of your book is very chris coded um quote-unquote dinners are not about the food they are about the people at the table and i feel like we're almost you know we're almost getting to a post food yeah dinner world now no because people are so perversely obsessed with food as well at the same time yeah like to be real with you what i've been thinking about recently a lot is the weird way that like the interest in food is about two things on the on the one hand it's like it's because it's not technological like it's not being on your phone actually at the same time like all about instagram yeah yeah well that's kind of what i was talking about more so you know like is is the modern definition of a of a quote-unquote gourmand somebody who's good at uh you know documenting food that other people make on social media you know versus like the traditional whatever 50 years ago being somebody who you know was almost sexually obsessed with food did you watch that film um the taste of things the french film about cooking it was really it's a documentary about you yeah well it was like over sentimental trash but anyway the the the gourmands in that were like the worst boars ever they're like oh this french rest this french cook is like opening a new restaurant he's like a genius he's like the napoleon of the kitchen and you know what i always think that like maybe people when they were obsessed with food in the 50s they were boars in one way and now people are boring in another way which is like posting pictures and then you know i agree counterpoint counterpoint i honestly feel like the heyday of like the plate eats or my phone eats first like instagram culture is over yeah i feel like i see that a lot less now like i don't i think so you don't see people at restaurants with like a fucking ring light and you would have like five or six years ago yeah i think that was weird because that didn't really happen in the uk in the way i think it was happening in america because of the the like british like embarrassed self-embarrassment but i do think that like now you know like people who are posting pics of their food which i do all the time but it's because it's kind of like linked with how i earn money and most of the time like food posters are just kind of like doing it as part of the hustle yeah i think after covid we moved the ring light inside of our our automobiles and started filming ourselves eating the food in there eating that amazing and also the eating all the stuff that's like weird colors in the car i don't know what you mean by that dude i talk about this all i talk about this all the time man i get i get the only food videos i see on instagram are guys eating insane cookie collaborations in their car yeah and they bring like a jug of milk and pour a glass of milk in the car it's all in the car Well, because it's embarrassing to do that in public.

56:22It is embarrassing, but it's also embarrassing to do it in your car. And also, they've probably got mice in their cars because they've got crumbs everywhere. I ate so many novelty donuts in my car that the rats attacked it. It's a bad way to go.

56:37Jason Stewart:This is the Ratatouille sequel. We got to get to work on this, guys. That's it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the rat has now become a – he runs a content creation studio in someone's car, someone's Audi. No, no, bro. He's got the new Bronco. That guy eats crumble. You want to go there. Stay away from the Tesla. That guy's testing vegetables. Close up shop. All his homies come and eat all the crumbs. So they would have a big gas guzzling car. Typically, yeah. Not like a small one. Does the Tesla, the big Tesla that you guys have, the truck, does that run on petrol or on electricity? No, it's electric. Don't act like you don't have Teslas in London, bro.

57:15We do have Teslas, but we don't have the big truck one. you don't have the cyber truck the arab the arab guys don't drive teslas they drive bentley's and rolls he don't know about that when he's down at mayfair getting a hundred dollar cup of coffee he's done rubbing elbows with cyber truck drivers and and our way most of people in them

57:30Jason Stewart:which is weird like drivers you're you're saying the waymos are still being tested so they have a a chaperone driver in there yeah just in case yeah yeah so you see them all the time but it feels a bit like kind of like the flintstone car you know like where they're like pet they're like using their feet to make it go along. Yabba dabba doo ass car. We're not quite in the future. What is your relationship to America? I assume you've been to New York and LA, but have you visited other parts? I went to Las Vegas to fly out when I was 15. I haven't been to LA as an adult. I've been to New York a bunch, but not to LA.

58:08That's far. I'd like to go. Someone should bring me out there.

58:11Jason Stewart:I'll work on it. Your wish. Maybe our good friends at littlebrown.co.uk we'll get it in the budget do a little la book tour i can set it up for you that dot uk part is going to be a hurdle you know what i'm saying just just but just budget wise just trying to unlock some stuff move something around you know what i mean like you've sold 50 books yeah but you can get it no you can get it in america right no oh you can't publish it okay i thought maybe no no i was like i didn't tell you before we did this because i was worried you'd be like wait it doesn't even no i don't give a shit about that we don't care if this helps sell your book at all Luckily, we speak English over here, too.

58:47Jason Stewart:I like how unapologetically British it is, how all the timings and measurements are in centigrade. That's like what the rest of the world does. Okay, okay. I'll hang up this. I'll fucking close the Zoom so fast you start telling me about it. Yeah, but if you're slow-roasted salmon, two and a half hours at 140, I'm thinking the thing's going to come out black. How does that short out? you know i don't get it yeah someone else said that but it's it's the temperature is really low and it's got a lot of butter in it if it's a big salmon i think it's fine our salmon are fresh caught here no that's too okay that's 284 degrees fahrenheit okay i see that yeah you see it makes sense like if it's it's foiled it's wrapped like it goes right i don't have two and a half hours from my house to smell like fish though let's keep it a buck no because salmon doesn't like smell like fish in that way it was because i know what you mean like it's like when you fry it it will smell more oily because of like i don't know how it releases but when you roast it like that it's not as bad because i wouldn't want that either the aerosol release although when i originally cooked the two and a half the the salmon it was with these like gigantic salmon which were like i don't know what your weights and measures are but like like if you had like ironically tell me in pounds please um 50 pounds and uh but that's our money so that's confusing and and And it was in all night and it was in a massive Georgian house in Dublin in an Arga overnight.

1:00:18So I think that that was where the idea of how to cook it comes from, which you don't have in Europe.

1:00:24Jason Stewart:You've got a little 44-pound salmon. I don't know why it's not published in America. I don't know why people don't, because people keep saying like, oh, I don't know why it isn't. But maybe it's too English. Maybe they're scared of me. Well, I think it's the classic thing. if you have to show and prove that it works in your own country before they will do a run. Go wide with it. We're not ready to go wide with you just quite yet. So who's hiring you to do all these freaky little dinners? What's the clientele looking like? It's like galleries and some individuals. Who's the most famous individual?

1:00:57The queen.

1:01:02Bro, hold the fuck on. You're telling me that I'm... No, no, no, not really. You're dead. But I just, I know she's dead, but I thought maybe there was, I thought you were making a joke about some sort of royal family, you know what I mean? Wanting some. So you've prepared a royal meal? No, but I've prepared a meal for minor aristocrats, but they don't have any money. British is full of minor aristocrats. That doesn't really count. You know what I mean? No, I'm just, I don't know. My client list is both much better than it appears on paper and also probably like embarrassing, which is why i'm trying to get an agent to shop me around more so i make some money those things just seem so stressful to me you know what i mean because you're you're you're always in a new location yeah i assume you have a team you bring with you that's the same but everything else sort of is variable but i always do i design a menu like based on what the kitchen is there rather than the other round i will like if it's far away i'll get a video or i'll do a site visit before and then I'll be like, okay, I can do this.

1:02:02Because I've cooked for 100 people in a tent on the top of a big hill and with two gas burners. Then you're like, okay, well, I'll cook what works for that instead of being like, oh, I'm going to roast a salmon.

1:02:18Jason Stewart:Yeah, that makes sense. Well, I can't wait to hire you for a dinner one day. I want that. It'll be a discounted rate, but we'll figure it out. I'll do it for free. No, no, no, no, no. Exposure. We got to pay for materials, though? Yeah. I don't know. Maybe I'm... Because I ain't got time to go to the farmer's market. So I'll give you my credit card or whatever, but I can't really be going down there. I'll take your credit cards. Yeah, I'll just take your credit cards. That's how we'll do the pain. That's the answer. Take the credit card. I'll give it back when I feel like it. Yeah, he'll know which saffron you'll want the most, Chris.

1:02:51Jason Stewart:Don't worry. Oh, I know. Yeah, what did you cook when I ate? What did we have at Issy's house that night? Do you remember? I had you saying when you were doing the interview that I was messy. The kitchen was, look, you were spread out in there. Let me say that. It's a different. You were spatchcocked in there is what I'm saying. That kitchen is really hard when there's a party because there's like 12 people standing in the kitchen. Look, I'm not disagreeing with any of these factors, but I'm saying I like a clean, personally, in my restaurant. So you didn't do a site visit before? going because i i thought every kitchen you go into and you cook the meal according to that i'm just kind of confused now this is like firing line i just say you just said that is that a contentious british literally just said that so i'm trying to understand i'm just trying to understand big bro it was fresh on the mind i was i was cooking with my buddy so i wasn't i you know if it was a professional kitchen i would have an assistant it would be clean i cooked i cooked like a variety of different flat fishes didn't I?

1:03:56They were delicious. No, I remember it all being very good. It was like turbot, I think. Yes, a classic turbot. Yeah, a classic. Do you have a turbot pan? No, I'd love one though. Isn't that a beautiful thing that they have the diamond shaped pan? Is it shaped like the fish? Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, it's so beautiful.

1:04:15Jason Stewart:It's sort of the final boss of copper cookware, I would say. It's like the most unit tasker thing like you pull it out once every four years it costs you know eighteen hundred dollars i mean you could you could roast anything you wanted in it it's true but the shape the shape is particular that could be good for an editorial yeah something random in the turbot pan you're joking chicken in the turbot pan now now i've heard everything i'd be on the news you're fucking joking i'd be they'd be like scandalized i'd be like the sex pistols i'd get the vapor the food community would come for your damn neck that's for sure all right so we had some fish and i feel like there was a salad that i like too but my memory is failing me no you're right it was a salad it was i think i believe it was either radicchio or puntarelli radicchio radicchio and i think there was some roast potatoes and then afterwards we had some trifle i believe which is kind of like an english tiramisu i brought my own water to that dinner i came with two big big aviants for myself because i was thirsty i just wanted and you were talking you were talking to yassi yes and i was like you both are podcasters right because you were podcasting it was crazy like you weren't you yeah you were talking with two people when two people that have podcasts talk to each other that is technically a podcast whether mike's in there or not that's honestly true that's that and then everyone else at the table it's sort of understood that you will be quiet and only observe oh we just watched yeah we just watched it would be wonderful you become an audience member witty repartee that was coming off those two yeah you guys okay well chris i'll ask i'll ask you this question how sexual was this meal on a scale of one to ten i would say this setting was too friendly yeah it was probably a six seven yeah but i didn't know anybody there except Issy and Yassi.

1:06:11But everyone was sexy. Oh, totally. I'm just saying it wasn't. I wonder how other people would answer this question because I don't know. You know what I mean? I don't know them. I don't think it was particularly sexy. It was friendly. But Jason's saying the sex is oozing out of you and you don't have a choice. It's on the plate. I don't have a choice. It's on the plate. It's in my hands, my face. I walk around. I mean, I know that in America, I've got weird teeth and a funny face, but on these islands they're like wow that is a handsome young man right there sure so you're saying if you leave your zone maybe they misinterpret what you got going on but in the motherland they see you coming and they say get out of the way actually you know when I said that but you know Americans also they're falling over themselves it's even worse okay

1:07:01Jason Stewart:so you went from being big turbot small pond to just everyone is every pond is full of shit water no the opposite every pond is full of uh ambrosia okay well so you're a you're you're an aisle 10 and a mainland six is what you're saying mainland seven island 10 okay well are you are you consciously aware of the the sexuality in your cooking and sort of lifestyle and philosophy or does it just kind of come out is it something that you're aware of and you try to include or is it something that you try to regulate even? Can I try and regulate? Yeah, I actually try and regulate. I try and make a little less come out than would naturally.

1:07:47Jason Stewart:A little less come out? You know, in the same way that somebody's like, hey, this R-rated film should be PG-13. You know, let's kind of cut some of the... Yeah, depending on your audience. Yeah, like Jason's saying, if you're cooking outside in Ireland for some fat boys under some tents, it's like we're going to tone it down but if it's you know Vogue is coming to XYZ you're going to turn it down the fashion neurosis dinner American Vogue did a report on my book party that just came out today what'd they say? that it was lovely, they were very nice that's great I'm saying they love you over here shout out to your PR nothing has to do with my PR, I do it all myself I believe that not nothing, Henry is great that's i forgot this was public i forgot this was public i thought i was just with these two men having a job that happens to us all the time because we like our our producer ian like he helps us out and he does so much on our podcast but in every interview christener like it's just us baby just him you know we do it all ourselves you know and it's easy to kind of slip into that mindset even if you don't believe it it's like joey tribioni and friends when he gets fired from days of our lives because he says he writes the script no i gotta do it all i actually just i gotta handle it i gotta handle it myself god damn it um on the um and on the subject of serving weeknight meals you you sort of break dinner parties down into you know weeknights weekends sunday lunch long lunches cooking for sick people people you're fucking people your family whatever and there's a there's a chapter called dinner for lovers and it was kind of interesting because it's you know you're really outlining the playbook for you know fucking food you know what i mean in so many words yeah and i like that you were sort of including the importance of like yes it should be a lighter meal yeah because of the because of the fucking but also like it shouldn't be so puritan that it sort of takes you out of that mood so really riding that sweet spot of you know the perfect amount of cum protein and stuff like that you know i'm sorry no no no i I was enjoying an outro, you said cunt protein.

1:10:16I know.

1:10:17Jason Stewart:I was going too far. It was beautiful. It was a lovely description. Yeah, I mean, that was nice to write. I think food is like, obviously, inextricably linked to the erotic. Because it's also kind of disgusting. And the erotic is kind of disgusting. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I think about that a lot with foods that have nasty smells and pungent flavors. I should not be eating this blue cheese. Everything about me is saying not to have this calf's brain or whatever. Damn, I want it. Despite everything, I want it now. Can't resist. I don't know. I like trying to... I think that's a good example of actually telling someone how to do it.

1:11:07because I think if you were like a young person and you wanted to have someone around for a date, maybe if you're not like me and you don't have like immediate natural riz, maybe having a book had to tell you it's good.

1:11:22Jason Stewart:Yeah, you're saying young people learn from my mistakes. Yeah. He doesn't have anything. Admire my riz. Just pure success. 100 % success. But I mean, I've definitely cooked a lot of, you know, sexual meals that and mistakes were made you know you have to sort of learn the hard way no of course but thanks thanks to creators like you many of our young people don't have to learn the hard way which is that good or bad it sort of goes back to our you know aging prematurely conversation from the beginning well no no woman's gonna no woman's gonna go to a guy's house for dinner at this point they're too afraid you got to take them to a restaurant you can't you can't do this anymore maybe in england in america if you if you ask a woman over for first date to cook and you're going to cook?

1:12:05Not first date. Not first date. Third date. Fifth date, they ain't going to do it.

1:12:08Jason Stewart:What if you have a well-established DM convo?

1:12:15No, we know each other.

1:12:17Jason Stewart:We talked a lot. We matched. I didn't just pick her up at the Pizza Express. We've been dry brining for quite some time. Whenever I hear you guys, I always admire the breadth of knowledge you have for English culture, like Pizza Express. is beautiful it is perfect and neither has ever eaten there but it's a it's a mainstay on many corners a logo that i admire but a great logo you know the jason pizza express is it feels to me like a less swaggy mellow mushroom in many ways logo wise yeah i agree you know what i mean it's like an ai generated mellow mushroom logo what's a mellow mushroom mellow mushroom is a american delicacy that is located mostly in the southern region i would say it's a it's a small small chain like i bet there's 20 of them maybe 30.

1:13:03Jason Stewart:small to mid-sized regional pizza chain that's has a southern america hippie aesthetic to it but it's low-key good yeah it's like the food is like the pizza is good but it does it like each each person who owns one can kind of freak the decorations as much oh so it's got like oh i love that where you have a franchise and so you have different decor but it's but it's all the same but it's slightly different you know what i mean it's they have a catalog they can choose from and each person chooses something different i would say is how i'm working but sorry i'm just bugging my computer well we're almost we're almost done so this shit's gonna die bro i gotta go okay well what a beautiful rustic kitchen behind you amazing kitchen thank you it is pretty you can check it out on the internet as well yeah i i feel like um i feel like the you know as a person who doesn't cook i'm very jealous of the um knife holder things on the wall i've always thought those look quite cool they're good and And also, I always think that if there were zombies or roadmen coming in and you needed to grab something.

1:14:05I have never in my life seen roadmen before, but I thought for you guys.

1:14:10Jason Stewart:This is the right place. The problem with having all of your murder weapons hung in plain view in the center of your room is those roadmen can use those knives on you. I have 50 drawers in my kitchen. The killing knives are only in one. by the time they get to him. Roadman dead. You guys should check out guns. It's a lot easier. That's the other problem. It's like putting your gun on the dining room table. You're asking to get shot. Last time I was in America, I got to go shoot guns with this hillbilly up in the Catskills. That was so... I'm sure. Does this hillbilly have a podcast? No, he doesn't even know.

1:14:49I didn't even know if he knew what a podcast was.

1:14:52Jason Stewart:A real one. You're in good hands, brother. He's a real one. He didn't... I asked it. I got to his house and I was like, can I have a glass of water? And he was like, what are you a queer? Yeah. He called me a queer. And, um, and, um, and he was like, no, you can't have a glass of water. I don't have any more cups. He was holding a tin cup. And I was like, what do you mean? You don't have any more cups. And he was like, I have a canteen in this cup. Wow. I have cup. I have single cup. Yeah. One cup. Damn bro. That sounds like me trying to get my flour rations. Yeah. How did you incorporate the feeling of gunfire into the bedroom later that night?

1:15:30I wasn't traveling with a sexual part.

1:15:34Jason Stewart:With a lover? I just masturbated and listened to the sounds that I'd recorded during the day. Sure, of course. Nothing like a gun going off. Sounds like a Bjork song. Yeah, it gets you on shove real quick. Jesus Christ. Put a Rosalia song on my headphones and start violently jacking in. Thank you for joining us. To Entertain is available anywhere except America is what it sounds like. Yeah, basically, yeah. So do check it out. No, it was good to see you. Thank you for joining us, and hopefully we can break bread soon. We'll be in London. We'll be in London soon. Yeah, we'll be in London a couple times this summer.

1:16:09Jason Stewart:We'll hit you up. Yeah, hit me up. I'm going to force you to cook for us in that freaky little kitchen. Yeah, I'd love that. Have a good time at the theater. That's crazy.

1:16:24Ding, ding.