938. - Chris & Jason

0:17How long gone? It's a gray Thursday here in Manhattan. Them jeans. How's it going on your side, bro?

0:24Jason Stewart:Super sunny, super sunny. But I do leave tomorrow to visit three gray cities. So I got a week and a half or so of sun-free living. Do you have to fish a light jacket out of the garage? How dire is it? No, it's not dire at all. No dire. It's more of just a bummer how, you know, it's 76 and sunny here. And then, you know, going to go to Paris and London and New York for a little bit of rain, cold, and then rain again. Yeah, it's not going to be great. I mean, it's going to be fine. It's fine, though. It's not that cold. I'm going to be spending my whole time in a hotel, so it doesn't matter. That's exactly what I want to do.

1:02So I totally understand where you're coming from. You never get sick of being in the hotel, do you? I mean, I like to go to restaurants and maybe check out a museum, a gallery, or a store and catch up with some friends over a coffee or whatever. But I mean, yeah. I mean, obviously, I mean, not every... Like last, I went to Minneapolis for the night yesterday. It was the only night I could see the Wax Hatchy MJ Linderman tour. So I just went and I stayed at the hotel that was closest to the theater. And let's let this, I wouldn't want to, I didn't want to be there. You know what I mean? I didn't, that hotel, that hotel, you know, it was meant for just sleeping.

1:38Let's say there's no hanging out. There's no spa.

1:40Jason Stewart:But nowadays that's a rarity for you, right? I mean, yeah. Where you're slumming it. Yeah, I don't, I mean. I mean, I don't slum it and I know that you're a little more. see you you i actually if i'm are you more of a slumlord or less of a slumlord i'm more of a slum i don't if i'm alone i don't really care that's right you do kind of slum don't you little ratty ass if alex is with me it's different because we gotta you know gotta have a nice robe we gotta pamper gotta have a tub but if i'm if i'm going to see my friends band you know if i'm going to minneapolis tonight to see some friends and watch them play i'm going to be in the hotel room just as what am i going to do why am i going to pay four seasons prices when i don't need it it doesn't it just doesn't it's actually impractical i get it i get it why why stick a hand up a cow's ass when you can get the steak for free right chris but that's what i always say yeah exactly speaking of the it's from tommy boy i didn't get it just right um the tub is at the is the tub because right now in my relationship the tub is a nice perk but it's not a must-have at some point i think it will hit that is are you at must-have a tub like does it is dinner ruined if the hotel doesn't have a tub?

2:48No, no, no, no, no. It's not that bad. But there's a thing on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City where a character named Meredith, her husband makes sure that she always has a bathtub in the hotel rooms. And several women know this reference. So it's like a funny... But I mean, I like a...

3:05Jason Stewart:So this fucking cuck ruined it for all of us, huh? Yes, he did. Exactly. Exactly what fucking happened. But I find it to be... I don't use bathtubs very often, but I like to have them because it means the bathroom has to be bigger. Strictly, I just like it because I'm a size queen. I want the bathroom to be larger. Well, I mean, it's probably going to be bigger, so there's that. I use it as my spent towel catch-all. Of course. Well, that's the best use for it because a lot of bathrooms, they don't have a designated towel space. They just say put it on the floor or whatever, but then you've got a bunch of towels on the floor.

3:42Jason Stewart:It doesn't look tidy. I mean, it's real tight. You're hanging them from the shower door. These are the tough issues we deal with. The amount of Nike dry fit clothing I've washed in a bathtub and let dry hanging over, you know, the one side. Have you thought about traveling with one of those travel, like, board short swim trunk spinners? You know what I'm talking about? I do. I mean, I know them more as something that would be in like a Ritz-Carlton, you know, gym. Of course. Of course. I'm talking about the one that free soloers and unhoused folks might be using. I'm not aware of that, but I'm interested.

4:18Jason Stewart:I think the mechanics of it are probably quite in line. Shares a lot of DNA with a common salad spinner, I believe. That's sort of what you do. It's not a perfect science. It's the same shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the same shit. Yeah, just spin something around. It's got some holes in it. Get that moisture out. Do it got holes in it? All right, I'll take it. Yeah, I've been dreaming about that. I've been dreaming about spinning and I've been dreaming about those inflatable, it replaces the iron for your shirt. You put your shirt on top of your headbutt and it goes shoot. That shit's hard. Yeah, those are cool.

4:51Jason Stewart:I want one of the, because like I get, you know, I get these nice vintage sweaters on eBay and I make sure to get it in like extra large, tall, you know, max it out as, you know, get the Ford F450, whatever, dually, biggest one you can get. and you never know if somebody has you know washed how they've cared for it so i'm looking up things online you like soak it in in the tub with some conditioner for like three days and you that's a lot you know later it sounds like so much and i want to just get that bitch wet put put a little bumble and bumble on there drop it on the muji iron hit a button and then just boom it's it's shack size again ready for me those things are really cool and i i don't i'm sure they're cheap i'm sure you can grab like a muji one for under 200 bucks it feels like a qvc product in many ways to me but yeah but what does it mean as soon as dyson comes out with one that's like 400 bucks and you can travel with it yeah if it doesn't if it doesn't take up if it doesn't take up too much room i think it's a reasonable purchase that's why it's gonna be travel i went to the chiropractor at the airport in minneapolis my favorite thing i re-upped is that the same place that we went to yeah where i captured footage you get the same specialist It was a different specialist.

6:02I liked his bedside manner more, but he fucked me up. So these shows are all in theaters, and so Peyton, Katie's tour manager, was like, I got you a ticket for a seat too, just in case you want to sit with everybody else. And I was like, actually, yeah, that sounds great. Bro, look, once that thing was touching hour 15, Big Daddy was dozing off a little bit. I had to fucking, you know what I mean? I think my brain fog had lifted, and it didn't bring me energy. It brought me sleepy. Okay. And so I had to really, I powered through. it was no big deal but i was i really felt the effects much like last time when i was brain dead

6:34Jason Stewart:okay so you were glad i mean i've been i've been to a lot of shows where i was very grateful for a seat you know a little cigar ross at the bowl or something you got your exactly you got your trout row and your fucking whatever spread out over there you want to i unfortunately didn't bring any of my my cheeses this time but it was you know i was thinking about you didn't have a chance to i mean you you love that monger in saint paul okay so this the uh the wax that had the longer yeah who does your monger program at the four you so you didn't say it i mean the four seasons in in minneapolis bro that's our that's our hq how could you not anyway it honestly felt wrong without you there if i'm keeping it a buck you know if i'm keeping you want me back here we are if i'm keeping it a buck it would feel it feel wrong i hate how you always know the exact the exact thing to say at the worst moment fucking type shit ass motherfucker okay so the the with child waxahatchie and mj linderman show less less of a stage divey high energy and it was a little more some uh tuned down americana maybe seated acoustic they're on stage together the whole time and then Cole's playing keyboard, Colin's playing like pedal steel, dobro, guitar, banjo.

7:51They're all switching up.

7:51Jason Stewart:Very similar to a Sleaford Mods stage play. Exactly. So far. Who's the laptop guy? There's no drummer. So it's like they just play constantly. They play a lot of songs because everybody's seated. So there's no time. Everybody's sitting. They're sitting. We're sitting. Everybody's happy. But it did. Maybe next year we'll lay. I got a little too comfortable. You know what I mean? I got a little too comfortable. Did you bring your little halo to sit on? No, I didn't. Did you leave that at home? I thought you were talking about 2 Chainz's son, who he podcasts with for a second. I'm like, I don't know him like that, but I would love to hang with him.

8:26My favorite podcaster.

8:27Jason Stewart:I know he's a Waxahachie fan, but I didn't even consider him writing. That's my new favorite podcaster. That's some of the best clips out. So 2 Chainz has a podcast with his son, and his son's name is Halo, named after the Beyonce song or the video game. I'm going to say it could be really either one. Answer the fucking question. We got to track timeline. otherwise there's no way to be sure i only i only thought of that reference because i just recently saw a video because i was i was watching the hulk hogan documentary and i was the algorithm was feeding me like funny videos involving wrestling or boxing or ufc whatever and somebody was like the the one time this guy he wanted to have the halo 3 soundtrack play as his walkout music and he's like some tough boxer or whatever and they thought it was beyonce halo so he's coming down the fucking ring he's all fucking greased up and shit and it's just and he's looking at he's like looking around like no that's really cool that's really cool but halo if you haven't seen the clips his son is very funny he's like 10 and he just kind of like makes fun of 2 chains and 2 chains likes it and it's really good it's it's it's as far as like elder hip-hop podcasting it's my favorite like i like cam and mace but i don't know enough about sports to care about that really you know what i mean right this is a little more this is more friendly for everyone it seems like it touches on like the good clean fun of like doing a podcast with a 10 year old but with you know touching on some adult themes it has yeah yeah he's talking about strip clubs and stuff like that with the 10 year old you know so instead of saying how the fuck you know about magic city on mondays he says how in the heck do you know about magic city and your mama wouldn't like that now your mama wouldn't like that if she knew now where in the world did you learn about draco's young man i swear to god i'm not gonna let you go hoop this afternoon if you bring up draco's one more time do you understand me it sounds great podcast it sounds fun so what what happens to a child when he gets a podcast that's bigger than ours at the age of 10 where how does that change a 10 year old's trajectory in 2026 i wonder i mean i think it's tough when your dad's already famous like two chains is strangely not not a household name that's being a little generous but two chains is like very well known as like a almost as like a figure you know he like looks a certain you know i don't know people know him he's a we'll call him b plus list so i feel like i feel like that's your especially if you live in atlanta and that's your dad you're already royalty so it's like i think it i think maybe he really just wants to be a hooper like most kids that age they're like my dad sucks like whatever we live in a nice house but like you know i i just want a ball and I think that's what he's focused on mostly from what I can tell and 2 Chainz is like you ungrateful little piece of shit I'm going to give you all my Smoothie King franchises and you're like dad I think Smoothie King is lame why don't you own Chrome Hearts franchises I think that is what is going on Halo is also very good looking so he's going to have his life is looking up much better than ours much like their podcast numbers clock it Halo Halo, Halo, Halo Alright, we have a guest today Jason Williamson is one half of Sleaford Mods A band that you guys are probably familiar with He's also an actor, he's been in a few movies He was in Peaky Blinders A show that I feel like a lot of people I know watch Especially if they had that haircut You remember the haircut Yeah, you know, 50 % of the people I know Love that show And other 50 % have never seen a single episode It's very interesting I thought you were going to say 50 % of the people had that haircut and I was like, I'm going to say more on my side.

12:01On this side? On this side? The side's high and tight. All right. Let's give Jason a call and get into it if we can understand his accent. Jason, we're back with our blue chip podcast sponsor, BetterHelp. Jason, you know that I deal with some financial stress and that will affect far more than just my bank account. It can take a serious toll on my mental health, my relationships. And I'm not alone, Jason. Don't smile, Alex, you fucking bitch. 88 % of Americans are feeling some form of financial stress. I don't even have to make a joke.

12:33Jason Stewart:Your wife's there to do it for me. Thank you, Adam. Jason says, thank you. 88 % of Americans are feeling some sort of financial stress at the start of 2026. Money worries often bring anxiety, sleep disruption, even depression, and are one of the leading sources of conflict for couples. Oh, hell no. This month, we want to normalize the emotional weight of financial stress and remind people that struggling with money doesn't mean they've failed. Sometimes it's just about assessing the right kind of support. Yeah, I mean, talking about it, breaking that seal is how you do it. Let's say we're not talking about financial stress of a house or a baby or something else.

13:07Jason Stewart:Maybe you got a COVID dog, and now five years later, that dog ate some of your underwear. Pull that shit out is going to be about$17 ,000. We need to talk to BetterHelp right now because some decisions are going to have to get made. And a third party is a great person to do that with. BetterHelp has the world's largest online therapy platform. If you don't like your therapist or if you think that they don't have your best interests in mind and maybe they think they side with your partner on this issue, feel free to flush them down and pick a new one with our good friends at BetterHelp. When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help.

13:43Sign up to get 10 % off at betterhelp.com slash howlong. That's betterhelp.com slash howlong. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you as Superpower. uh jason i recently uh left my my general practitioner's office and i i just felt like i was coming in with less than i had when i you know walked through the door they said you're fine they told me to drink more fiji no data no game plan just a little pat on the butt and and i'm i'm fed up with that jason i want hard data you know i'm a numbers cat when it comes down to

14:14Jason Stewart:it yeah and you go to the you go to the doctor and they just kind of brush you off they're there They got their eye on the clock. They got their 15 soon. And they got to go vape in the parking lot. You know what? Adios, Doc. You've been replaced by something more super than you. Yes, Chris. So, you know, I know you're a data junkie. You love numbers. You know, just a random person telling you what they think is not good enough anymore. It's 2026. The technology is here. And we have used technology to make it easy and affordable and accessible to everybody. not just those rich people who have their Illuminati blood ceremonies where they spin the plasma and stuff.

14:53Jason Stewart:Anybody, even just you, can unlock your health intelligence with over 100 biomarkers. Do you need all of them? Probably not, but it's nice to know that there are too many. You'll never run out of them. I want a whole stack of biomarkers. Make this the year you stop guessing about your health with Superpower. Not only did Superpower reduce their price to just$1.99, but for a limited time, our listeners get an additional$20 off with code HOWLONG. Head to superpower.com and use code howlong at checkout for$20 off your membership. After you sign up, they'll ask you how you heard about them and make sure you mention how long gone to support the show.

15:26All right. Well, a classic how long gone mid pod cancellation. But that only means we can bring you more of what you want me and Jason talking about. It looks like, Jason, you got invited to a pool party in OC. Do you want to tell me? Do you want to tell me? Because I've never been to a pool party in OC. So if you can tell me, because you sent me the flyer, and it says a lot, obviously. Visually, it's quite a lot. But if you could just read some of it out loud, I think that'd be a good exercise for us as a team.

16:01Jason Stewart:Sure, sure, sure. Yeah, I mean, this is different. This party could be a fake AI-generated event. We don't know for sure, but the theme of this is Latinas versus Snow Bunnies pool party. And I don't know exactly how they are competing, if they are just sort of in a, whoever is the most baddest baddie. I don't know if they're going to be doing pool-related fights. So you're saying, so Latinas versus Snow Bunnies pool party, why do you think that would be, what about this makes you think it could be AI created, I guess is my question. Because to me, this looks like something you might have done in InDesign back in the day.

16:43Jason Stewart:Okay. Well, if you dig into the Instagram account, you'll see that some of the other events. Okay. There's one of them. The next one is homebodies versus groupies. It's two women. All the homebodies wear white. And then all the groupies wear black. And then the homebodies, there's a little sort of a comic book text bubble. And the homebody. Who else? The homebodies don't, to be clear, they are baddies, of course, but they're saying, I, JS, want to go home. So I just want to go home. And then the groupies are saying, we outside. So I don't know. It seems like the groupies are going to take this one.

17:23Hold on. I'm saying you're right. The EBT accepted party is like.

17:28Jason Stewart:Yeah, there isn't the EBT. 714 funks, which I guess is short for functions. and then uh ebt accepted party and there's special guests quondale dingles the one guy that says i'll do anything for 20 this is crazy this is actually a really cool page is this i guess this is yeah there's a cinco de mayo um there's a diddy versus charlie kirk no ice allowed cinco de mayo party no ice is allowed at all let's let's give prop store this This is OC underscore present on Instagram. They are verified, which I would love to talk to somebody on Instagram about how that went down. But this is something that you – it's cool to see where you come from.

18:16You know what I mean? We see these movies about surfing and skating and the idyllic Orange County lifestyle and how beautiful it is and how everyone's got guns and stuff. But this, to me, feels like the most realistic representation of your hometown and where you're from.

18:31Jason Stewart:Yeah. I mean, we – I'm blown away personally. We have some of the finest Latinas and snow bunnies in the world, Chris. I mean, probably, literally. And we don't take that lightly. That should be promoted more heavily, I would say, if anything else. Oh, yeah, I know. Yeah, this is great. This is good stuff. I was saying, I was watching these, man, yeah, there's a video going around of Ronnie from Jersey Shore looking like absolute shit nodding out on TV. It's tough to watch those. that's one of the worst aging groups of people to ever be on television i think are those that that particular squadron when i when i look at when i look at them we're kind of like the same age as them right i think more or less maybe a couple they're a couple years older is what i would guess yeah and they all have you know eight kids each and live in like a really funny looking house but they all they they look you know physically different yeah physically different I agree physically it's a it's a physical difference and I I don't know they've lived more life than we have well I think that being famous for being drunk um really encourages you to be more drunk which does take a toll on the body eventually you know what I mean it's going to catch up with you at some as an indie sleaze DJ I can relate to that Chris dude I know you can bro you're my I know look you're the indie sleaze king no one it was encouraged no one's going to take that away from you free Svedka before 11 so that's that's something I know you got that tatted on you somewhere did you see this um this erica kirk outfit where she's looks like she's in the all black with the hat that says freedom on it yeah the um the rhythm nation trade we are a part of a rhythm nation what did the um what did her hat say it looked like an equinox hat but it said like it said freedom i think black but black on black it's her whole look is is giving like that's like something george michael would wear to like yeah yeah la fitness it's it's january 6 security guard is kind of the vibe because it also you don't know you don't know what's under you know when you're wearing the all black kind of like sweatsuit it's but no you know with her you know it's not lululemon you know you know it's not tight it's like pretty it's not even um under armor it's something even more sinister but do you think because i think maybe she could be packing under there this is what i'm thinking like do you think she she has uh she's got something tucked into the not a dick not a dick i mean a gun no i mean yeah we're talking about the drake okay i think she could have i think she could have something around the waist not and not like a traveler's wallet that an old person uses when they go to italy i'm talking about uh i'm talking about something that will make they'll talk you know i'm talking about the outlet dior you know for the shoulder bag she got something that she's gonna let it talk if you mouth off to her you know what i'm saying not the canal street mu mu you no no that's real okay so i i did see that what i want to know why she was she she should have been wearing the janet jackson fit the day after her husband was murdered live on television that feels like a fit that's giving in mourning yeah and instead when you know a week after her husband was murdered she's wearing you know like miss thailand ball gowns bro she was kissing jd on camera bro she had no respect for a dead man so so why why did they switch that why wasn't she why was why was why is she wearing this right now of all times this is a classic pivot to tactile dressing you know what i mean like this is this is like oh you all thought you could make fun of me well now i'm gonna show you i'm about my business and everybody in here could get it like i think that's i think she's trying to put off because she can't wear fatigues because that's like a little much you know what i'm saying that's like that's a little much but when she hops out the Escalade with the all black on and the freedom hat with a full beat and you see a little bulge, you know what I'm saying?

22:22You see a little something peeking out of the waistband, you know that she means business. Anything else would feel performative. This feels actually like the way she should. I would rather see her wear this than a fucking Timu gown or full basic training fatigues. This is the nice middle ground for her.

22:40Jason Stewart:We got little mama looking like Nas in 98 looking like soldier slim it's very soldier slim yeah everyone's like why why the fuck this look like dress like chuck d from public enemy you know what i mean hey she look chuck stood on business and she's standing on business too i see the similarities it almost feels as if she's trying to to play down her look she's trying to cover her body like like um a burka or something like that you know what i mean it only looks like a little sliver yeah of her of her skin well Well, she's so hot. She's so hot. She's so hot that it's like such a, it's a, it's a big distraction actually that like when she's talking about how our country is crumbling, you know, because of the libs, when the, when the titties are out and the makeup is done, how can you, Jason, I know you can't focus.

23:26I know you, I know the message is lost on you. So let's cover up, let's be demure and let's get that message across and be serious. It's time to be serious. It's time to, it's time to, this country's in peril and it's time to be serious is what I'm getting from this you know the blowjob got teeth all in it that's just yeah yeah i do i i do think so we could ask jd he's coming on we'll get him on we'll get him on soon he can't get hard from a woman he's a chatty guy though he's a chatty guy do you want to do you want to talk about clipping i mean the clip world sure yeah i would like to do more i was with look i'm saying bro all that i read did you shod wrote an article for the guardian where he had a bunch of he did a bunch of research and kind of really did the work for the clipping stuff.

24:08Okay. Specifically as it relates to music. You know what I mean? More as it relates to music.

24:12Jason Stewart:So more geese than clavicular. Yeah, but it's like there's a lot. It's OK Lou. It's like a lot of, you know, it's McGee. It's like it's all this stuff. And OK Lou is a good example to me because I actually don't know what that sounds like. And I feel like no one does. Whereas like McGee. But I know what you mean. I mean, it's much smaller than geese. But I like OK Lou. You would. I would. You would. the performative playa in me be listening sure no shame in that you got to appeal to the elfin house i don't know don't sleep on them it's a big delegate for me who's the number one elfin hoe grimes um i mean i guess bjork is sort of mother of elfin sure sure but i mean more i mean modern day bjork's the blueprint bjork's the jay-z my bjork's the africa bambada talking about

25:04oh god dude

25:05Jason Stewart:yeah I mean like twigs has a has a pretty big stronghold on on the fairy hose fairy spelled I-A-I-E of course of course yeah of course I mean I feel like it has to be music that is sort of electronic in nature because yeah I think that like someone like Fiona Apple could maybe fall into this category but because yeah Tori Amos more of a unplugged fairy yeah I think when it goes unplugged it becomes something else i think when you're banging at the at the piano it's different than when you're banging on the synth a little bit you know what i mean just just vibe just vibe wise i'm saying but that's okay yeah when you're when you're banging on the like teenage engineering theremin that you built out of legos oh this this is a custom piece actually you could distill it down to like fairy musicians who use traditional music versus non-binary instruments yeah yeah i think there are there are non-binary instruments i think that i think the piano is feminine the guitar is masculine and everything in between is up for grabs a lot of people think the harp is bi but it is not oh no the harp is the no the harp is gay actually the harp is the harp is is is is somehow gay and if it's a gay then lock me up wait i mean harps yes put me in jail i listen to and a newsome 24 hours a day um so i think clipping is another instance of uh a kind of a who cares like i i don't think that that is like i guess i don't understand why we get so upset that people are good at playing the game that we've all agreed to participate in that's that's what i'm always shocked like the outrage by this of like what do you what i guess what do you expect i guess like what do we what are you supposed to do when when there's this much noise and there's this short of an attention span.

26:49Jason Stewart:I agree with all of that. I think what people are trying to figure out now is the clip turning into the content versus the clip being the thing advertising or getting you to go watch the TV show or the movie or the podcast. I think it's been that way. Well, it has, but many people are saying that it is fully that way. But then the issue is like if we make our money off of our podcast but everyone just watches the clips only then how is anybody making any money if no if the the clips aren't translating into podcast views and you don't have ads on your clips then you're just spending a lot of money every month and getting a lot of views every month but yeah how is that translating into i mean that's fair i i just i don't know i i just feel like this is one of those things i mean i think it obviously music it's different because it's like you you know you're more drawn to listen i don't know if you if you see something cool you're gonna go listen to it because there's no other way to hear a full song you know what i mean there's no like no 30 second clip of a song is all you want if you like it you want to hear the whole song whereas with podcasting or whatever video content let's say like the 30 second joke you get on reels might be all you want that might not like you're saying that might not push you to go do the whole thing.

28:07Whereas music is different.

28:08Jason Stewart:Yeah, I think I'm talking about everything but music. Yeah, I mean, I agree. I mean, I don't know what, look, movie trailers existed forever. I've never wanted to see a movie after seeing the trailer. Trailer did everything I needed. Really? Dude, I don't, yeah, I don't, like, a trailer. Okay, so you're not new to this. You're true to this. Your body is conditioned for the clip economy. Well, I'm saying to you, I'm saying to you a trailer is always, it always is a little bit of a lie. And often only the best stuff. Do you know what I mean? That's like what it is. And it's like, obviously the idea is to get you to spend$30, you know, to go sit in a cold room and watch it with people you don't know.

28:46And that has worked until whatever, five, ten years ago. I think maybe the clips get you so familiar with someone and you like what they have to say that eventually you're going to listen to something ambiently because you're doing that anyway. If that makes sense. Yeah. If you see enough Call Her Daddy and you like it, you think it's whatever, it appeals to you, the next time you're looking to put on something for three hours while you clean your house, you'll reach for your Call Her Daddy. I mean, that makes sense to me.