In short
Two hosts riff on New York/Paris life—especially biking culture (Lime vs dock bikes, and the pointless “five borough” ride), matcha’s status-symbol spread, coffee differences across cities, and the economics/legalities of online content/IP claims. They also discuss pop culture (Aziz/“welcome back” jokes, Noah Kahan’s mainstream success, Olivia Rodrigo’s SNL performance) and Manhattan social events (Met Gala/Jeff Bezos backlash).
Guests
None. The episode is between Chris and Jason (co-hosts).
Guest backgrounds
Not applicable (no separate guests; only the hosts).
Key claims
Bike riding is the best way to get around a major city; mass “community” rides are performative and mainly disrupt streets. Matcha is mostly consumed for its look/accessory status, not taste. IP/media companies’ watermark enforcement is a “racket” that can be profitable. Paris/NY alcohol and smoking pacing enables heavier “slow drip” intoxication.
Notable examples
Lime’s dockless “leave anywhere” bikes; New York’s “five borough” street blocks; babe.net archive/Wayback discussion; media hosting bill (~$8k) after recording a DJ set; matcha liqueur ads; Met Gala donations and “crossing the picket line.”
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOCigarette Talk and Lifestyle
0:45 to 1:40
A lighthearted discussion about smoking habits and Parisian culture.
“That's what they're the best at over there.”
Bike Rentals in Cities
1:40 to 3:00
The hosts compare bike rental systems in New York and European cities.
“they hope that you don't use it so it's free money.”
The Drawbacks of Group Bike Rides
3:00 to 5:10
A critical look at group cycling events in New York City and their purpose.
“I mean, the other option is you have your own bike and you carry around a lock.”
Discussion on Community Building
5:10 to 8:10
The hosts debate physical versus digital community-building activities.
“I mean, you mentioned the community building and we do gripe about people creating communities that don't really exist in our definition of it.”
Aziz Ansari's Return to SNL
8:10 to 10:20
The hosts talk about Aziz Ansari's recent appearance on SNL and related jokes.
“I'd like to think that Kash Patel doesn't eat Indian food.”
Domain Names and Online Presence
10:20 to 12:20
A humorous discussion about the importance of domain names and website ownership.
“And I love that one day we're all like, wait a minute, it's okay if it's not.com.”
Legal Challenges in Content Creation
15:23 to 17:48
Explore the challenges of copyright and the absurdities of legal threats in creative work.
“Yeah, I'm not surprised knowing you, what your tactic was to combat that.”
Matcha Culture and Status Symbols
17:49 to 21:11
Discuss the cultural implications of matcha and its status as a trendy beverage.
“It's like, yeah, if this works, it works.”
Barista Experiences with Matcha
21:12 to 23:29
Dive into the challenges baristas face when preparing matcha amid a busy café environment.
“Because when I'm thinking about matcha, we need to talk to a barista.”
Coffee Culture and Travel Tales
23:30 to 28:00
Share experiences with coffee culture in different cities and the nuances of international coffee.
“They want the customer to see the whisking.”
Show all 25 chapters
Wine Culture in France vs. LA
28:00 to 29:04
Explore the differences in drinking styles and wine culture between Paris and Los Angeles.
“That is something I never, ever want to eat.”
Driving and Drinking in LA
29:05 to 31:04
Discuss the cultural implications of drinking and driving norms in Los Angeles.
“You're telling me when you're sitting on a sidewalk in downtown LA that the guy in Doc Martens isn't serving you the best product you've ever had in your life?”
Noah Kahan's Musical Impact
31:05 to 33:06
Analyze the rise of Noah Kahan and the surprising acceptance of his music.
Noah Kahan's Image and Appeal
33:07 to 35:54
Discuss Noah Kahan's appearance and the type of audience he attracts.
“Let me tell you who, I mean, yeah, when the chick from your camp that didn't shave her underarms wants to give you top behind the kayaks, sure.”
Success of Authentic Music
39:26 to 42:00
Reflect on the success of authentic music and its cultural significance.
“Yeah, this is man of the woods and if a woman sees a guy with two dogs that respect him as authority and he can squat, core health is good.”
Hillary Clinton in the Band?
42:00 to 43:03
The hosts humorously dissect Olivia Rodrigo's band lineup and the implications of celebrity appearances.
“Olivia had Wise Blood singing backups last night.”
The Met Gala and Jeff Bezos
43:03 to 45:39
Discussion about the public's reaction to Jeff Bezos's involvement in the Met Gala and celebrity culture's intersection with wealth.
“I want to know how come not all women in her age range, you know?”
Baby to Baby Gala Critique
45:39 to 47:53
The hosts critique the Baby to Baby Gala, exploring its authenticity and the celebrity influence surrounding it.
“like, obviously this is not important to any regular person because it's a complete, you know, it's like celebrities getting dressed up.”
Hotel Room Experiences
47:53 to 50:28
The conversation shifts to hotel room experiences, discussing the annoyances of hotel staff and the quirks of hotel amenities.
“I wanted to ask you, you're an international traveler.”
Italian Style Bathrooms
50:28 to 52:34
Exploration of the features that make a bathroom an 'Italian style' and humorous observations on hotel aesthetics.
“If my wife wasn't here, it would be parfait.”
The Noah Kahn Phenomenon
52:34 to 55:11
Discussion on the rise of Noah Kahn and the impact of social media on perceptions of artist popularity.
“Okay, so you were talking about the, why is the Noah Khan so big?”
Spirit Airlines Closure
55:11 to 56:00
The hosts react to the sudden closure of Spirit Airlines, sharing thoughts on the airline industry and budget travel.
The Future of Budget Airlines
56:00 to 58:49
Discussion on the potential impact of Spirit Airlines' exit on the airline industry.
“I'm sure it's going to affect the entire industry negatively in some way.”
Media and Movie Expectations
58:50 to 1:01:16
Exploration of the cultural significance and expectations surrounding sequels and adaptations.
“One of the 11 flicks I've actually caught, Most Dangerous Game.”
Fashion and Celebrity Culture
1:01:17 to 1:05:05
A humorous take on celebrity fashion choices and their public perceptions.
“which is pretty fun to do I feel like that's a great...”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:17How long gone? A beautiful Sunday in New York City. The sun is shining. The leaves are green. How many cigarettes did you smoke yesterday? Me, three or four. Cigarette only? Just three or four. Yeah, that's honestly light work for you. I'm glad that you haven't succumbed to the pressures of the Parisian people.
0:34Jason Stewart:Oh, that's a nice triple P there. I have been a prickly Parisian person. You've always been rude. So you've taken that. You ran with that one. That's what they're the best at over there. They're very good at being rude. And they're also very good at accusing you of being rude. And it's like, hello. Because it sounds so good when they say it. How rude. The pot kettle black. Yeah, I'm over here. I'm in the land of uncircumcised dick and butter. That's so good. Really good butter here. Yeah, I'm sure I could tell the difference. I'm glad that you're... Honestly. I'm glad that you upgraded your Lime membership.
1:09Everything's going...
1:10Jason Stewart:I didn't. No, I'm joking. Can you tell me more about what they offer? Because I'm considering it. I actually don't know what they offer. I don't think it... I think it's like a Uber One situation, you know, or like an Air One membership where you pay a fee to get a discount. and the idea is that the discount beats the fee at the end of the year, which I do think encourages use and also obviously it's true depending on how much you use it. Encourages use, but just like a gym membership, they hope that you don't use it so it's free money. Exactly. It also encourages zone two cardio, which we all need more of, don't we, Chris?
1:46I did some zone two. Don't worry about me. I was there this morning on my zone two.
1:52Jason Stewart:A rare dub meaning two instead of a W. Who even are we? Yeah, it's funny. Speaking of the line bikes, Carolyn and I were walking around this morning, and they have the line bikes, but they also have the bikes that are competing bike rental companies. In New York, you got the city bike, and that's about it, right? Yeah, they've pretty much taken over the market. But in European cities, they've got, you know, this is what the tourists ride and this is what the plugged in locals ride. And it's kind of a nice distinction because it shows like who, you know, if you're a driver and, you know, like who knows the way the city's flowing and working and who is the out of towner who I have to look out for because they're riding the big green 300 pound electric motorcycle bicycle thingy.
2:42Jason Stewart:or is it the one where it's painted like some cool kind of subdued colors? Like a how long on Instagram post? Unfortunately, all of the bikes are ugly, but the thing about lime, you can truly leave it anywhere. Everything else, you got a dock. That's a pretty big difference. Oh, the dock difference is huge. I mean, the other option is you have your own bike and you carry around a lock. You wear it around your chest like it's fucking San Francisco in 2004 and you're trying to shoot a MASH compilation. but the i don't know what else like one biz marquee i'm dealing with some bike stuff right now because they're doing this five borough ride thing today and every idiot you know is out on their bike with a helmet and all their little trinkets to ride five it's like dude what do you do if you live in new york why on earth if you don't have a child why on earth would you do that like i see the guys in the full map spandex with the fucking kit on clipped in to ride a fourth of the speed they usually ride around five for what like to fuck up everybody's day i just don't understand what the point of that is if you live in new york like i really don't get it like you really want to go staten island who gives a shit i got so excited when you said when you said i'm dealing with some bicycle related trauma i was like oh chris finally up on two wheels i like it my brother is getting like me and then uh i'm trying to go they block off streets for this like get a life you wouldn't get it chris you don't wouldn't you get a life The happiness level when I'm on two instead of my two feet, it honestly changed.
4:09Jason Stewart:Like we were walking around for a couple hours this morning, just a little, you know, sun's poking out, a little breeze, a little sprinkle. It's fine. And then, you know, she went to go link up with Sandy and hit a local cafe. And I was like, cool, I'm going to go home and go to sleep. And then as soon as I hopped on the bicycle and started riding through the city, my frown was turned upside down. everything in like as soon as i'm like if i'm walking around i'm just like this is stupid well in paris you need in paris you need that in paris i need anything to turn my frown upside down i'm saying that i'm saying that that riding a bike to get around is is i i would say the best especially in a major metropolitan area the absolute best way to get around there's no question that is the most efficient that's what i'm talking about i'm talking about people getting their bike together to ride slowly in a pack across five boroughs for what purpose i don't know that's what this is not a commute this isn't this is like fake community building and i saw zoron on fucking new york one when i was on the treadmill this little bitch has a tie on on his bike like bro dude we know you're the governor and i know you're not going to ride all five boroughs but you can come on man you can put on you can put on a t-shirt you know i mean you could you can put on your dos racist tea when you're when you're doing the the five borough fun fun run cruise you're supposed to tie one on before you're supposed to get the fucking the coors lights ripping and then you just kind of cruise around the city with your woes you're not supposed to you know put up put on the drake's tie that you got for christmas he wishes he was in the and riding around skinny suit supply he's in the skinny suit supply out there fucking making it work it's gonna give jehovah if he's doing that on a bicycle it gives it very gives it gives like sir where are you going when you die type type questions i just don't understand i just was the whole thing is baffling to me this happens because they do city streets which is a similar thing where they just it's an inconvenience for everyone it blocks entire streets and people aren't it's not even i mean i guess technically it's exercise but i just don't know i'm sure it's for charity maybe i don't know what the actual point is okay um but if you're a real bike person it's crazy to me to participate in that.
6:17That's all.
6:18Jason Stewart:I mean, you mentioned the community building and we do gripe about people creating communities that don't really exist in our definition of it. Would you rather these people all find like a discord server about this or, you know, is this a rare instance where the fake digital community, you would prefer that over this physical IRL community that encourages? I don't think anyone's actually meeting people. I think you go there with your friend you go there alone and you ride your bike through the five boroughs and you go home and tell your friends on discord about it it's what i think is i showed up with no pussy i left with no pussy that's exactly no it's the life of a cyclist exactly it's like going out in bushwick it's the same shit man it's the same shit but yeah shoot or shoot and riders ride they say please no pussy please no but i anyway that's i'm fine i i was able to you know i was able to wake up and watch olivia rodrigo on snl and i you know everything everything from then has been downhill jason you know how that goes oh okay so like nothing is living up to what you experienced with the double host duty and musical guest okay i'm joking i was gonna ask i was gonna ask you is um is aziz and sorry i mean sorry is uh is zoran mamdani the second indian that is bad at his job him and cash patel no i think that and that was not these are not my original thoughts that's a reference to a joke that aziz made on snl last night okay it's cool to it's cool to be able to play a character on television just because of your race and that you can bulge your eyes out like it's pretty cool it's honestly sick like pretty much got there yeah it's like all right get Aziz put him in a suit he's the same he's from the same country he originates in the same country as the guy we're making fun of he can bulge his eyes and he can like read let's get him up there but that's big for Aziz we also don't 100 % know if he was if he's from the same country that's the dark part there's a there's like you know seven different countries where we would have been like yeah it works well of course of course but i but i mean cash patel i think cash patel the thing about cash patel is even though he presents as indian he is like florida so you know what i mean he's his like his like love for america has superseded wherever his people actually hail from which is a very strong thing to be able to do he's he's bilingual he's he's down low down low florida trade like to be able to be like i'm i'm so into like brad paisley that you think I'm from the panhandle, even though I am not, is powerful.
8:44Jason Stewart:I'd like to think that Kash Patel doesn't eat Indian food. Oh, hell no. I'd like to think that he finds it kind of disgusting. No, unless they got Indian food at Five Guys, he ain't eating it. There ain't no way. Kash Patel hasn't had Indian food in 20 years. The Five Guys biryani on a blaster meal, and they haven't had that on the menu in some time. They've kind of recalibrated away. It wasn't working. But yeah, I saw a tweet this morning that said, welcome back, Aziz. We've been waiting for you. There's nothing wrong with being bad at fingering or whatever it is you got in trouble for. So we got Aziz back on.
9:23I mean, he's cold open, bro. He's back. Honestly, it was nice to see. It was nice to see.
9:28Jason Stewart:Fingering or whatever. I mean, honestly, that little welcome back like kind of positive message almost did more damage than whatever whatever he originally did which was definitely well i think i'm assuming take a girl to four horsemen and have a great convo i mean i think they're gonna get a little kiss let me get a kiss the real problem with disease thing is the the website that where the essay was posted babe.net no longer on the world wide web so you have to go back to you have to go to the way back machine to look at this you know what i mean it's like that's luckily we've got a lot of archivists in our community i'm sure we can track that down most of our archivists are unfortunately you know it's com dig our stone and katherine hammett but there are some people that work more in the online space no no you can buy an nft of the babe.com article don't worry no no jason i want to be very clear it's not.com it's.net which makes it makes it diabolically worse somehow i love it i love the .NET so much.
10:25Jason Stewart:And I love that one day we're all like, wait a minute, it's okay if it's not.com. I don't have to spend$790 ,000 to get.com. See, I disagree, actually. I think it's worth, I think.com is sort of like. Yeah, that's unkslop that you're trying to spew into my mouth. It's worth it, though. I think.com, not worth 800 grand, but I'm saying. You're going to take this unkslop and you're going to like it. And I say, yes, sir. Bro, if you had themjeans.xyz or something, you know what I'm saying? Bro, you already know that squad had themjeans.info and you know I wasn't exactly sure how media temple works in terms of data transfers I remember they they sent me an invoice for like seven grand one time because you're hosting so many remixes the the uh the night where um Daft Punk DJed at at Cinespace I I had the the foresight to bring in my little zoom recorder the the very same one not the exact one but same that we record our podcast on oh that into the little dj mixer and i recorded the whole thing without their consent i'm without their consent i'm sure you didn't tap on those helmets and ask any questions you just plug your shit in i didn't pay him or give him consent ran into the homie brodinski last night shout out to my old homies you ran into brodinski on this it feels like france itself like weighing in it you know like i got lucky we'll get into that let me so um i would i went on there and it was like a four hour mix on you know i just put it up there and i was like all these z share media you know it's a pain in the ass i'm just gonna throw it up i can just put it on the website and then it'll drive traffic to them jeans.info you know what i mean of course i mean this is this is how it works you're steve jobs at this point yeah i'm feeling like wozniak over here this guy is killing it with the the seo so dj was in the booth so you know this is a this And also, I'm a DJ purist and audiophile, so I can't give them just the cheap little super compressed.
12:22Jason Stewart:This is for the audiophiles. This is a bunch of blacked out guys, redlining MP3 files that were made in 2004. We got to make sure that they have high resolution. So all that is to say, I think like 78 ,000 people downloaded this mix from my media temple host, whatever. And they sent me a bill that was like eight grand. And I was like, I'm just going to wait till you guys go out of business. And then they did. Oh, TJ, we're back with our big bros over at Quintz. I've actually been wearing my new Quintz cashmere v-neck in a camel color around the house. getting it, you know, just getting it warmed up.
13:05Getting your oils into it. Leaving my stink on it before I take out into the mean streets of Manhattan. And I really do like it. Quince has all the wardrobe staples available for spring. If you're into linen shorts, they've got 100 % European linen shorts. Shirts from$34. Lightweight, breathable, and comfortable. But you can still look put together, no wrinkles. And clean, 100 % Pima cotton tees. I know you like that. With a softness that just has to be felt. Put your hands all over your Quince. You know what I'm saying? Rub that shit down.
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14:10quince.com slash howlong. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. And I'm not a betting man, but if I were, I would say that you looked at some websites today. Is that a fair guess?
14:20Jason Stewart:One or two for sure. And they looked really good too. And I think they were all owned by people who are not necessarily webmasters. Contrary to popular belief, I spend a lot of time with people who aren't webmasters. And if they aren't webmasters, but they are small business owners, content creators, or let's say video editors, they might be posting their work for sale or for viewing using Squarespace because that's the platform for people like us, Jason. Yeah, people like us, we like to have everything all in one place. If we have a little business on our website, Everything is all there. We're tracking our revenue.
14:58Jason Stewart:We're tracking our bookings, our reservations, our invoices, our product sales. We're learning where our customers are and where to focus that engagement with their beautiful Squarespace analytical services. Oh, good grief. They got it all over at Squarespace. You can do whatever you want to make your dreams a reality. Go to squarespace.com slash howlong for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, use offer code how long to save 10 % off your first purchase of a website or domain. Yeah, I'm not surprised knowing you, what your tactic was to combat that. It was not to lawyer up and figure out a little settlement.
15:38Jason Stewart:Yeah, exactly. I'm glad that you made it out alive and they didn't. Because there are so many of those things. Any one of them would have gone out of business. Honestly, whenever I'm driving around the Bay Area, Portland, or Marina del Rey, you see one of those kind of faded laser-cut media temple stickers on the back of someone's Subaru, I get a little chuckled to myself. Of course. You made it out. You got it out. That's like when they hit you with the$50 ,000 medical bill, and you just tell them, like, you got to find somebody else, but I ain't paying this. You must have got the wrong one today, bitch.
16:07Jason Stewart:Thank you for fixing my broken body. Thanks for piecing my leg back together. Eventually, they'll give up. eventually everyone i mean this is but i told you the story about me and a few other people we know getting getting you know those threatening letters from from like back grid and those companies that own all the all the paparazzi photos and you'd get these emails for using a picture of justin bieber on twitter in 2014 and they're like we own that where you owe us twenty thousand dollars and then you have to i had to pay i had to pay somebody not crazy like a thousand bucks but it's like they wouldn't go away and i had a lawyer involved and this has happened to other people we know and they had to pay a lot more it's it's insane yeah it's crazy it's funny and it's so funny what if they're like hey you cannot use this image unless you retweet us then it's totally fine we will set a lot of court for a retweet the coolest part is i believe that they won't even even if it's watermarked i think you still which is crazy like if you got a watermark big bro that's that's yeah i mean that's you either pay or you mark you don't do both you can't do both exactly exactly but i think it's one of those things that it's one of those it feels like a phishing scam like it feels fake when you get it yeah it feels fake but i think this is like a full-time i mean i think this is the kind of you can make a fortune doing because because if you get there's so many people miss you you know illegally quote-unquote using these images that if you if half of them pay you a thousand dollars you're making millions it's like a man you have a full-time lawyer this is their only job that i mean it's a pretty good racket in the you know in 18 months from now it's just going to be ai clients from backgrid and ai clients from done to death just fighting you know quietly fighting non-stop you never have to know about it they never have to know about it my favorite you win some you lose my favorite version of this is the thing in california where if they have to pay you you know i can't remember exactly what it is but legally as a freelancer they have to pay you within 10 days or something of of submitting the invoice like oh really basically no one ever pays the invoice in this amount of time and you can legally sue them and win and we know people have made quite a lot of money doing that so so you're saying that cali don't play with the net 30 no like a lawyer will get in touch and be like hey i noticed you've worked with xyz brands like i know they pay late have they paid you late and you're like yeah actually actually yeah all of these giant mall brands have paid me late like let's go after it you get your 10 because it's Free bands.
18:27It's like, yeah, if this works, it works. If it doesn't, no sweat off my back because I'm not paying the lawyer. He's coming to me.
18:32Jason Stewart:And also, it's guilt-free, robbing from the rich, giving to the poor. You're coming for Target and Walmart. You're not coming for Eckhaus Lata. No, no, no. You're not putting Cali Meyer out of business. You know what I mean? So it's an interesting – it is, though. It's like there's a lot of this stuff that, like, if you just pay attention, there's bread to be made. Unfortunately, we're the little guy in this situation usually. Well, maybe we should, that could be a good how long gone angle for us where we go legal. Have you or anyone you know been affected by mad happy not paying your net 90 on time?
19:06Jason Stewart:You know, just come from, have you worked with Chinatown Market and they didn't pay, they paid you 32 days instead of 30? I know you worked at Rocky's Matcha Pop-Up. Did they pay you? Because I, you know, I. No, Rocky's is an ally. I don't want to take their money. No, I'm joking. I'm joking. I don't want to take their green. Okay. I saw recently, I saw an ad yesterday walking around New York, wheat pasting for a matcha liqueur that is dropping. And I was literally. Oh, no. Well, I mean, actually, I'm kind of back. Stopped me in my tracks, though. I literally stopped and was like, am I seeing this correctly?
19:42Like, am I reading this correctly? Because, I mean, I feel like matcha has invaded our treats. It's invaded our cups. Like, where does it, is there matcha lube? Is Emily Oberg working on matcha lube? Is there matcha hair care? Do we have a matcha hold gel? You know what I mean? Where does it stop? Is it only edible, I guess is my question. Or do you think the scent of matcha could be anything?
20:08Jason Stewart:Well, like you said, I'm still laughing about they've invaded our treats. Bro, nothing. I mean, I don't mind. You said a lot of funny stuff after that. That was still funny. I don't mind a matcha treat. said the matcha scent you just i mean because all we're thinking about now matcha is basically you know we're factoring all the senses so you look at i mean the sight of matcha is the biggest selling factor because the flavor is down low you know this the the vision of it it doesn't sound very good the flavor is not so good the smell is maybe worse than the flavor when you're walking around with that with that kermit in your cup people see it all that is to say it's one of the only foods where the you know the visual display of it the status symbol you're right outweighs the product itself it's like this is not enjoyable to me but i want to get i get a little kick i get a little caffeine hit off of people being like they're drinking something green that's nice i think it's i think that women i think that women drink matcha and carry it around partly because they think it makes them hotter they're treating it like an accessory because it's been branded a hot chick beverage because men obviously can't drink it um so it's if a woman's drinking i think it's like oh this is like a new bag you know what i mean this is this is an accessory to me like oh you drink your your your caffeine rituals brown oh well it's also like it but you know the other beverage i would say that says something very different but it still says something is when you see somebody with the the 32 ounce duncan that's you know 60 creamer i think that's the time i think that's the only other time when a beverage speaks such volumes um in the in the caffeine space like that coke with lime is a different thing that's you know whatever yeah oh that sounds nice right now uh the uh the duncan where the coffee is more creamer and sugar than actual whatever that is like one of the only examples of like america fighting back towards matcha like it would you're right something like that to defeat matcha i maybe i should in protest do I become a Dunkin' guy just out of spite for matcha?
22:10Can I go that way? Because when I'm thinking about matcha, we need to talk to a barista. Any baristas, if you work at a five-star coffee place that has to offer matcha and you want to come talk to How Long Gone, let us know because I want to know how annoying it is.
22:23Jason Stewart:We'll blur your voice. We'll digitize everything. We'll make sure your boss at La Cabra doesn't know. But how awful must it be when you are slammed on a Saturday lying out the door and you got to whip out a whisk instead of fucking pulling the cold brew tap. What a nightmare that must be. They should have upped the salaries for all of these baristas once matcha became something they had to do. It's a totally different task. Maybe it is like a humiliation ritual of like, hey, this matcha, this macadamia matcha is going to be$14.75, but you're going to pay for it because you get to watch me in my little cuck whisk with a line around the corner, people breathing down my neck.
23:03Jason Stewart:You get to watch me have a small panic attack as I quietly whisk. But I think places like that, most matcha outlets have sort of batched out their matcha juice concentrate. Sure, of course, but still, that's so much more. It is. But I think some places don't. Well, now they got to do the cold foam humiliation ritual. That's the ultimate. I think some places don't. I think you're right, but I think other places don't because they want it. They want the visual of the wit. They want the customer to see the whisking. otherwise it feels it feels like it's it's walmart matcha it's part of the show it's like when you go uh when you go look at the suvs you know in the in the other corner of the the lot and they got the little rock thing set up where you get to drive the little you ride your x5 up on i can go off road i can go off road in this g-wagon i've never seen anyone do it but i'm sure you can i've never seen that i go bouldering in the in the in the orange in the hermes orange 1990 g-wagon That cost me$147 ,000.
24:04I go, sometimes I go, the desert has rocks, so sometimes I run over some.
24:08Jason Stewart:I bought it off of Simmy Hayes. Yeah, I'm going to do a lot of, I'm going to have to J-Tree and see if I can, you know. No, this is Fi's personal color. Like, he picked the Pantone. So this is, I did get upcharged for this a little bit. He didn't invent it, but he developed it closely with our color specialists. Actually, speaking of coffee, that did remind me that as soon as I immediately touched down in in paris grabbed a little um coffee for the the car ride you know it's an hour to the hotel whatever from the airport and then you know two let me get two cold brews from from starbucks straight into the the paper cup no but it's like the recycled paper cup so you can kind of feel it disintegrating while you feel it decomposing in your hands but but also that's still better than london when you go and get an iced coffee and they're like oh we ran out we only we only make four a day like it's their fucking it's it's the only place you can get cold brew in london if it is is with my muslim homies for 25 in mayfair because they don't drink or at fucking blank street so you choose your poison yeah you know what i mean and they're both poison i'm kicking with my bros talking about the new bentley rims if i have to choose you know i mean if i have to choose but i you know you got to go to dream and man dream and man's the only good coffee in paris it really is the only it's it's unbelievable product great pastries how how matcha-y is this place scale of one to ten no no no it's like serious coffee shit i mean you can get matcha of course but it's like serious coffee shit one to ten how matcha-y is it i don't think of it like that i'm gonna say five i mean i'm sure they have rocky's matcha do not get me wrong but i'm just saying that it doesn't it doesn't feel matcha first like a lot of places do now i would say So would me walking around with the Dreamin' Man uniquely shaped plastic cup with the matcha inside of it, is that a status symbol of me walking around or do I look like a punter?
26:00Actually, I don't know the answer to that question. I mean, I think you're going to look like a punter no matter what because no matter how many cigarettes you smoke, you're still distinctly American.
26:09Jason Stewart:Yeah, but I'm the good kind of American that they're interested in, bro. Yeah, that's what you think. I'm still fascinating to them. They're fascinated with getting us out of there. That's what they're fascinated with. They're fascinated with getting your ass back to Charles de Gaulle and on a plane. I was really curious how I could get you to leave the area that you're in right now. So the Marais, it's not really for you, okay? Just to be clear. No, I think that the – I was joking about how bad the coffee was in Italy and people got mad at me. They're like, oh, no, it's just bad in France. I'm like, no, it's bad in both, guys.
26:40Let's keep it 100. Let's not fight. The girls are fighting.
26:43Jason Stewart:Well, no, you can say the girls are fighting. You can say that it's not your favorite, but you can't say it's the best. It's all subjective, Chris. Well, sure, sure. I know it is, but that's not really how I talk. I mean, just like last night, I went to a place called Freddy's. I just had a little glass of wine and some small nibbles, and I had the house cornichon, loudest cornichon I've ever had in my life. Take a bite out of that little thing. my eyes are tears are welling up it was so loud I didn't know those could get I didn't know is it like a fermentation process was there some sort of additional toppings maybe their fermentation got skunked a little bit who knows it was turning into a little fucking cornichon kombucha you don't think this is on purpose it may be on purpose some places you're like the spicy mustard it's a spectrum of heat levels depending on I've watched hot ones before.
27:46Jason Stewart:You know the spectrum of all the Scoville scale. I don't need to bore you with those details. Of course. It was cool. A thing where I'm like, oh, cornichon in France. We have pickles too. We have cornichon too. I've had a thousand times, whatever. You eat it and you're like, damn, bro. It really is just different. That is something I never, ever want to eat. Ever in my life. You're not a pickle hunter? No, pickles are gross. Those are gross. I know they're cuter. um you know in shape but well i'm glad you know it's i like that you i like that you go to france you turn back into like a wine guy you know because that's sort of the you know obviously that's the the motherlands when in rome so you have no choice yeah something about like i feel like i don't want to drink martinis here i when i'm here i feel like i want to have wine i have a glass of champagne uh you know at the beginning and then you know get the wine flowing i don't know why it's just like it's the suit feels better here when it's wine time well yeah i know because it's not being explained to you by a guy in a cropped t-shirt with fucking big jeans on when it's like we because in america like we got the red we got the white we want we got the orange which one do you want dumb shit um and then it's it's a real gamble but in france they say the same thing but all it's always all good like everything that they've chosen is is good and and correctly priced.
29:05You're telling me when you're sitting on a sidewalk in downtown LA that the guy in Doc Martens isn't serving you the best product you've ever had in your life? Is that what you're trying to say?
29:13Jason Stewart:Yeah. And it costs$20 less per glass, not per bottle, per glass. That's also interesting. Okay, so you're saying it's$25 in LA and it's$5 here in Paris. Well, I'm finally finding an upside to Paris, but I can't necessarily participate, but I'm glad to know that. I'm glad to know that. But I think the consumption style is different here where like in LA, you know, have like two martinis for the night. You know, you're good. Have a couple cigs. You're good, whatever. And you kind of pace it out because it's so strong. You kind of have to put it on a little IV drip or else you're going to get too faded.
29:48Jason Stewart:But in Paris, glass after glass, cigarette after cigarette, you're consuming the same amount of whatever alcohol, but you're just doing it on a slow drip throughout the entire night. I don't know if they're just more anxious or whatever and they got to keep on smoking. No, they're alcoholics. Oh, yeah. Also that part. Yes. Their culture. Also, they're not driving home. I think that's a big, I think that's also, it really allows you to get twice as wasted. I mean, New York is the same thing. Like you just, there's no chance you're ever driving home. So you're getting twisted. Yeah. You never have to do that mental math of like, all right, if I take Forest Lawn and I close one eye, I think I can get her home.
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30:28My question to you is Forest Lawn. Why would, if I was a cop, why wouldn't I just sit there? it's a it's a great for speeding it's great for speeding the and and it's it's it's such a direct vein to to connect parts of town you know how many times i've thought this while driving drunk
30:45Jason Stewart:on that street but i've i've if i'm not driving drunk on that street i am going as fast as 30 over the speed limit as fast as possible it's so fun to go fast on that street nurenberg track but not a single time have i seen a cop anywhere hidden or just driving using it i think it's a common agreement with the residents of la and the police department that's like if you know you know like real heads respect forest lawn you you gotta take the lawn that's on you that's your business do what you gotta do over there you know i'm not gonna pop you for a dewey or a speeding but you crashed the fucking panamera you know don't don't go don't call 9-1-1 either you gotta call your cousin you know like if you all right so if you crash the whip on forest lawn you can't call for help but you got to call exactly your family you can call somebody else but you can't use like the municipal anything that taxpayers fund you can't call yeah yeah and oh and i will extend it to you're you're whipping that fucking whipping the celica around the uh turn four and you pop a tire we're not calling triple a we're calling our korean cousin to come over with the spare and you're going to do it yourself get your hands dirty and then everybody i know would be okay with that deal i think that is a fair i think that is a fair deal of course if you roll the fucking land cruiser you know we'll get a crane out we're not gonna i'm not gonna make you you know gather up 12 of your hunkiest friends to flip it over my korean cousin doesn't have access to a crane unfortunately so gotta gotta go gotta gotta go above and beyond to get the crane well it's funny because he probably does you're like you're not calling the right cousin bro you have a lot of cousins you have a lot of cousin owns the crane company and they're doing quite well they're doing really well they found a niche uh i was there's been a lot of um noah kahan talk this week i don't know if you're familiar with him yeah this morning carolyn said who is noah khan and i said he's kind of like hozier he's like our hozier a little bit he's like if Hozier was from Vermont but he's kind of funny on Twitter which is a surprise I agree with that if he did How Long Gone I think he would do well just like how Hozier oh motherfucker can kind of talk he's kind of nice with it but what's interesting is that he's sort of this record is huge it's like the numbers are crazy it came in number one in the UK and he got a relatively positive pitchfork review which is very surprising i think for what this is i agree but i can't be like jason mraz getting an 8.3 i can't really wrap my head around i need to like really listen to it but i know he was on a zach bryan song a while ago and it was good but he was just you know kind of singing whatever he sang a verse and like harmonies i don't really know what his music sounds like besides the stomp clap hit this is all very like lumineers core so that's why i'm a little surprised at the acceptance i'm always just surprised what gets accepted sometimes like this does not feel like something that should be this big he wears overalls and is like barefoot and has like hair down to his ass that he braids you know what i mean he wears pigtails but but but he's also good looking no enough no i mean he's fine looking he i wouldn't i don't think anyone would call him good looking okay i really not not i'm saying and i'm saying that from someone that's coming from the same place is he is he giving fuckable uh in some photos yes in some photos no he does have a little native american co-worker energy to him he's he has he's definitely there are there are definitely chicks that work in maine for the summer that would love to have sex with this guy you know what i mean but like overall i don't think that's his appeal look he's got his angles i'm about to like i looked at a lot of photos where he like like you said he's wearing overalls and his hair is in pig ties and he's like doing a song with elmo and then i just sent you this photo right now where he's jason that photo that photo is 15 years old that photo ain't current but I'm saying that means if this man existed at one point looking like that, he has had things done to him and his body that will affect the confidence for the rest of his life.
34:47Let me tell you who, I mean, yeah, when the chick from your camp that didn't shave her underarms wants to give you top behind the kayaks, sure. No, no, no. Yeah, no. Bro, this guy, don't act like he's pulling like that. Don't do that, bro. He ain't pulling like that.
35:00Jason Stewart:I'm just saying if you play music, you have a voice that's got some honey in it and you and you looked like that at one point you're beating him off with a with a patchouli scent you're beating him off you're beating him off you don't you just wake up and you know a kim cattrall type is servicing you no bro you're absolutely wrong this is some this is some like this is a chick that wears naot sandals and fucking natural fabrics and like hasn't washed her what's a nate what's a some other birkenstocks Hasn't washed her what, Chris? Are you saying her pussy microbiome is not 99.9 %? I'm not talking about the 0.1 % of biome, bro.
35:39You know I'm not talking about that. I would never bring that up here. I'm just saying that I think he was beating him off with a patchouli stick, with a rain stick, but I don't think he was.
35:48Jason Stewart:Yeah, he was violently attacked by this woman trying to engulf his penis with their mouth, but it sounded beautiful with the way that rain stick sang. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to us, Superpower. uh jason i recently uh left my my general practitioner's office and i i just felt like i was coming in with less than i had when i you know walked through the door they said you're fine they told me to drink more fiji no data no game plan just a little pat on the butt and and i'm i'm fed up with that jason i want hard data you know i'm a numbers cat when it comes down to it yeah and you go to the you go to the doctor and they just kind of brush you off they're there They got their eye on the clock.
36:29Jason Stewart:They got their 15 soon. And they got to go vape in the parking lot. You know what? Adios, Doc. You've been replaced by something more super than you. Yes, Chris. So, you know, I know you're a data junkie. You love numbers. You know, just a random person telling you what they think is not good enough anymore. It's 2026. The technology is here. And we have used technology to make it easy and affordable and accessible to everybody. not just those rich people who have their Illuminati blood ceremonies where they spin the plasma and stuff. Anybody, even just you, can unlock your health intelligence with over 100 biomarkers.
37:08Jason Stewart:Do you need all of them? Probably not, but it's nice to know that there are too many. You'll never run out of them. I want a whole stack of biomarkers. Make this the year you stop guessing about your health with Superpower. Not only did Superpower reduce their price just 1-9, but for a limited time, our listeners get an additional$20 off with code HOWLONG. Head to superpower.com and use code howlong at checkout for$20 off your membership. After you sign up, they'll ask you how you heard about them and make sure you mention How Long Gone to support the show. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to us by our friends at Dart Collective.
37:38I think we can all agree that wedding music is typically quite lame, cheesy, and it doesn't represent the bride and groom's personal music taste. Luckily, Dart works with actual musicians and artists, many of whom have their own productive careers or tour in bands you've heard of everyone from leon bridges to taylor swift uh dart djs use vinyl and are cool in a way that your peers would be not a dated carnival cruise performer they even have an in-house stylist to make sure all personnel look perfect on the day uh dart travels all over the world for events from morocco to italy greece and the maldives dart has done huge celebrity
38:15Jason Stewart:events and also intimate ones yeah chris i uh i am personally friends with michael from dart and i I have worked with them for years. I think the last time I did a big one, we did the Sweet Green wedding. They set up a beautiful booth for the ceremony, just some cocktail music, some vinyl, some cool vibes. And then they set up a whole big tent with a crazy bumping sound system for me to play in later. These guys are great. A lot of people always ask me, like, hey, you know, do cool wedding DJs exist? Do cool event people exist? The cool part about Dart is they'll work with people like me to come and DJ your party, as well as provide all the gear and all the consulting and all that stuff.
38:59Jason Stewart:So if you don't know who to hire for your event, Dart Collective is the one. Dart, just like throwing a dart, dash collective.com. And ask for Mike. His email address is michael at dart-collective.com. Tell him we sent you. so if you have an event coming up this summer Dart Collective is where you go I'm talking it's the kind of chicks that would camp out for a Dave Matthews show I don't think it's what you're talking about for all my Atlanta residents it's a chick that worked at Junkman's Daughter they'll know what I mean by that they'll know what I mean by that that's all but I'm happy for them I'm happy that any music that is made by a real person with a guitar is doing this well that's all i care about i don't care if it's for me or not every time i see this i'm happy that it's not john summit is he is this man the the john summit of folk music and i'm about to send you an image look at the the the headline of this editorial it's gonna really be well that's the name of his album is called stick season that's the name that's the name of his album yeah that was the name of his that should be a fucking drink record but look at this but look at this season i mean yeah look he looks pretty good in these pictures but it's him with two dogs in the woods and they're carrying sticks around and he's, it's just, it's crazy what this is.
40:20It's crazy what this promotes.
40:21Jason Stewart:Yeah, this is man of the woods and if a woman sees a guy with two dogs that respect him as authority and he can squat, core health is good. This sounds like you're talking about yourself, but your dogs are a lot smaller than these dogs. Maybe in the subconscious it's very possible, but that's not what I was shooting for. Actually, Jason, that picture you sent me where he's got the long hair and the beard is not dissimilar from TJ at Cinespace. Maybe he's 15 pounds lighter. But I'm just saying, I'm just seeing something here. I'm humming out. His stick is a Martin. Your stick is a CD Logic case full of French remixes.
41:03Period. I've seen some. The similarities between Noah Kahn and them jeans are something I never thought I would see, but you've made them very apparent. You've done this to yourself.
41:15Jason Stewart:Damn. Damn. Damn. Okay. So like if him and I fucked, it would be an Ibanez acoustic guitar. Exactly. Exactly. For the True Has. That one is true. It's a purple headstock. It's limited, but it's - That one's for Morby. Yeah, that's for Morby. Morby's listening. I would love to talk to Morby about Noah Khan. I just don't - Yeah, I'm surprised at the popularity of this, but I am - Again, I'm happy overall, but I'm just wondering what the end game is for this guy. It sounds like a lot of money, success, and fame. There's a Vulture article, Noah Cajon, on Olivia Rodrigo's connection to stick season.
41:53Jason Stewart:So this guy's like, all right, Olivia Rodrigo, huge star. I'm just going to write an album as if I was the guy that she was singing about. And then, boom, profit, right? Profit. Olivia had Wise Blood singing backups last night. Yeah, and she had Hillary Clinton on rhythm guitar.
42:15Hillary Clinton hates her husband so much, she'll play rhythm guitar for Libra Rodrigo when she's never picked up a guitar in her life.
42:20Jason Stewart:Oh, the chords are easy. I could do two songs. It's actually super easy. It's funny. We were watching it this morning. That's a good bill. We were watching it this morning, and I was like, damn, guitar player on the left kind of looks like Hillary Clinton. And Carolyn had a little laugh. And then song two comes around, and she's like, wait a minute, she does look a lot like Hillary Clinton. Like, you know, the joke is true. Let me tell you something. If you're trying to get an all-female band right now, one of them is going to look like Hillary Clinton. It doesn't matter who you are, if that's what you're trying to do.
42:53Jason Stewart:Oh, and you want keys too? Yeah, you're going to get a Hillary. I'm sorry. Because I think her band was all, I think shed, yeah, I think full band, all women, which I respect the move, but you're going to get a Hillary in there. I want to know how come not all women in her age range, you know? Like when you see the pop star live band performance, you see a lot of you know guitar players that are also in their you know early 20s maybe how come she went for some older studio heads she's an old soul isn't she i mean i'm sure she would say that i wonder actually because i think it does it does it does feel like there's a limited pool of absolute killers and it's not like you need to be a killer to play libra Rodrigo songs but should i feel like i would be going on looks first and skill second only because it's again it's not this is not extremely complicated music yeah because also you know it's it's we can just play the backing track and you know we don't really need to know that you aren't playing those synth lines you know we can't see your fingers on the nord i bet olivia i bet olivia makes them play the real shit i bet she makes them i bet there's oh absolutely i bet she wants it to feel real you know look if i'm gonna get a bunch of 41 year old heifers out here you're gonna have to there's gonna be no mistakes that we can't make a mistake not on live tv not on live tv the city's getting ready for the Met Gala Jason people are just people are so mad at Jeff Bezos it's honestly the level of hatred for Jeff Bezos is really hitting fever pitch here in Manhattan did he become a donor and now people are worried that his stink is on the gala yeah because he's the first bad guy who's given money to go to sit at a table at the Met Gala he's the first one that's kind of interesting that right after jeff bezos you know makes a sizable donation to the the costume board or whatever you know two months later you got the article hey we actually have enough money to go independent now all of a sudden we've been saving up all the money for the last 10 years but last year we got a nice little bump i think i think anymore i think bezos look if your chick wants to go to shit like this and you're bezos like happy wife happy life i'm gonna break off i'm gonna let me give you 10 let me let that you hold 10 it's it's it's costume institute gala hold 10 it ain't tricking if you got it if you're like damn imagine buying condé nass just for some pussy and jeff's like bet i'll do it you want atm yeah no problem apple car what do you what do you want it's actually cheaper than my yacht so this is working out for me i don't i just don't i mean people are so mad about it and like he had a party last night or she had a party last night and it was like you know i think people are it's it feels like some people are are like crossing the picket line to go to like a a Bezos hosted event.
45:33Jason Stewart:It's like all y 'all who went to the Noma pop up in Silver Lake, you know, and we see you. I just don't think that, I just don't know what people, like, obviously this is not important to any regular person because it's a complete, you know, it's like celebrities getting dressed up. It doesn't feel like real life to most people, but they love to consume the content obviously. But I just don't know where this, this kind of money can only come from a few places. You know what I mean? And it's like, you got the Sacklers, you got Bezos and you got Middle East. So what do we like? What's you pick your, poison.
46:03Jason Stewart:Pick your poison. It's all, it's all going to be bad. So I don't know what, I don't know what your plan is, but it's all going to be bad. Yeah. It's very like we, we, we, we, we, we've been talking a lot about, um, balls and ballrooms and them being, you know, Trump coded, Republican coded. Is it, you know, the left has the gala and the right has the ball, the, because the, the left has the shame. They can't just have a ball. It has to be, you know, for something, a charity or something like that. I would say balls are often for charity too. Maybe not. I don't know. I think a gala, it really has the stink of donation and fundraising.
46:42Jason Stewart:And a ball seems like more of a unabashed celebration. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, don't get me started on Baby to Baby, LA's fakest gala. One of my absolute - What's that? I think it's called Baby to Baby. That's the one that all the influencers go to. It sounds like a brand of something where I have to buy my niece-in-law, like a new fucking headband for when you're eating Cheerios so they don't spill in the car. It's baby to babies. Neoprene is washable. American 501 nonprofit organization that provides diapers, formula, clothing, other basic necessities for children in poverty. And then you look at the - The diapers are made by babies.
47:19Jason Stewart:Unfortunately, it is a baby to baby. But it's like Dear Media buys a table. You know what I mean? It's that vibe. Okay. I can't even begin to describe. It's like a funny, like you see all the influence. Chrissy Teigen gets an award at this shit. You know what I mean? It's like that kind of thing. For her work in the baby space. All women listening will know about the Baby to Baby Gala. Okay, okay. All women will know. Ladies, is it hot that I don't know about it? I mean, yeah, kind of. Can I be a fucking straggit and not know about Baby to Baby? Something to think about. I'm embarrassed to know about it, but here we are.
47:50You know, it wouldn't be the first time I'm embarrassed to know something.
47:53Jason Stewart:I wanted to ask you, you're an international traveler. when we were checking into our hotel and got the little room tour you know lay of the land clicker here whatever i don't i don't let them i don't let them do that but yeah go ahead really do you just say i'm just get the fuck out of here yeah i know how to use a hotel room but some hotel rooms have like a little thing like oh just to let you know you know like for for example you know the little card on the back of the door with like the fire emergency info and like call 9-1-1 don't And that thing that's like plastic on the back of the door, that's where the Wi-Fi password was printed, not anywhere on the card or the key card.
48:31That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. So that's an example where they're like,
48:36Jason Stewart:hey, just to let you know, the Wi-Fi password is on the back of this. What I'm saying to you is you can tell me that at the front desk when you give me the key. You don't need to come into my room and be like, here's how the remote control works. The real crime that's going on, Jason, is the room service menu being on the TV now at every hotel that shit is so fucking stupid and i don't know because europe loves a q italy especially loves a qr code still yeah and it feels having a print printing a room service menu the amount of money that is spent on that is so i just don't understand what we're what corner we're cutting yeah i don't want you in my room i want you explaining anything i can handle my own luggage i don't want any help once once i have the key and you have my credit card don't talk to me again until i need something of course until i call down yes of course mr black we understand yeah okay well i was uh we were getting the tour and we were in the bathroom and he goes this is an italian style bathroom have you ever heard that and do you know what he means by that i have there's one unique signifier that the hotel bathroom has what was the bat was the bath mat fake off-white what makes it italian is there a fucking is there an ashtray next to the toilet like what makes it italian yeah it was uh it was an off-white flannel yeah like what literally what is it just hella marble okay the one thing the one thing that it had that other hotel bathrooms don't have typically i've maybe seen it once or twice in my entire life which would be funny if it was an italian style bathroom it had a scale that's i don't think italians weigh themselves i don't think italians know how to count i think they know how to count they have scales that that say the number for you so you don't have to read it good point but i would i like to think that italian people are are more conscious of their weight and their body than you know many other countries maybe not france but i would disagree i would disagree completely the way that i think the thing about italian people stay snatchy yeah but that's not because they're weighing themselves it's because they they like their lifestyle because they have cigarette for dinner yeah like i think it's a lifestyle difference i think it's i'm not gonna buy into the fucking you know maha influencer i eat pasta for a week in italy and i'm skinnier than when i eat erwan in la shit but there's some truth to that if you if you grew up there and live there yeah does it just mean like the bathroom is sexy and has dark wood or something like that you can see through no so you're saying to me they said it's halen style bathroom and the only thing that you're noticing that's different is there's a scale yes there's no other no got a sink got a toilet got a shower i was hoping maybe i was hoping maybe they had the la marcoso in the bathroom you know what i mean so you could kind of have the espresso going while the shower's heating up or something there was an emporio armani ashtray no okay i just googled it ai says an italian style bathroom is defined by luxurious high quality materials used with minimalist aesthetics okay that's fake focus on creating a spa-like sophisticated durable space okay so it's like the shit is baller there it is like a a very nice like burgundy colored marble um his and her sink like it it looks nice so it's saying it's like baller ingredients but it's not like this crazy like grand you know yeah yeah trump ballroom style bathroom where you feel a little being in a hotel room in paris has two sinks is a victory in itself because those things are so fucking small now see so the room is not huge but it's like i mean it's perfectly sized it's some it's some touch both walls if I stretch my arms out.
52:06Jason Stewart:If my wife wasn't here, it would be parfait. Exactly. That's how it always is. I gotta upgrade because this bitch got a check bag. She loves it. No full length mirror is the only problem. I don't know if that's cool. You gay if you worry about that. I like that Italian style bathroom just means nice. I think you could just say nice. Especially if you're not in Italy. It means quiet luxury. I mean, sure. Everybody's a liar. What are we even talking about? Like what the fuck are you even talking about? Okay, so you were talking about the, why is the Noah Khan so big? And it was having me, it was reminding me of the geese bots, you know, fabricated following where it's, you know, like this is, why is everyone talking about this?
52:51Jason Stewart:Why are people who are normally not talking about this kind of thing talking about this? And it makes you suspicious of it. The Young Lean video directed by Emrata's man. kind of seems like it's getting the geese bot treatment. Have you noticed this? I haven't watched it. I've avoided it completely. I don't, I mean, I'm sure it's cool, but the way people, but you're right. I mean, the Noah Kahn thing, the difference is there's numbers to back it up. Like the fucking, this guy's coming in number one everywhere selling like 400 ,000 hard copies. Like that's serious. I think that that video, is the song good?
53:26I've heard the song isn't good.
53:27Jason Stewart:It's not for me. Shout out to Sirkin who produced it, another French homie. But yeah, it's not my fave. People have only talked about the video, is what I'm trying to say. I haven't heard nothing about the song. And everyone's saying, why have I seen 400 tweets from Silicon Valley Twitter bots talking about how the movement coach and the choreo work is groundbreaking? But it is good, right? Yeah, it's cool looking, and it is good. But this is my problem now, is that every time something is good and people are talking about it, it's going to be questioned as like who paid right who paid the the agency to do juice this where it's like well maybe it's just good but i mean i don't know it's very similar to the nepo baby argument yeah yeah maybe like oh like well you know i do i do my marketing diy style like organic style like i do it but don't people like i did it natty it's like oh you're doing performance enhancing marketing or you're not but i also think that people are from what i understand as someone who's not i was never like a young lean head he's a he's very very popular that whole thing is very much more popular than i even realize yeah especially online he has a rabid following yeah especially online so all over the world as far as people that would this would happen to he feels pretty likely even if they do juice it a little bit this is more like this is more like a the geese thing is less likely than this you know what i mean if you if you really want to you know break it down yeah and i guess you know the director having the the emrana connection and him no dude he's a legend his dad's a legend no it's like a it's he's i mean it's sick like it's cool that they did it and i'm sure the video is great and i'll now i'll watch it but i sort of like this is one of those things that i avoided because i was like i don't i don't care about this i've seen too much stuff about it you know what what even now i think it's not like i don't have three minutes i'll tell you that you know i could have i could have i could have made at work um let's talk about spirit airlines yeah r.i.p it's it's really crazy that that happens so fast it's like basically like you have a flight tomorrow and you can't take it type shit yesterday or i guess two days ago friday we pulled up to the airport you know at like whatever 2 p.m 3 p.m and i looked on my phone and i was like oh shit spirit airlines is gonna close soon and i walked in we're checking our bags and you know i was like are you guys gonna throw spirit airlines a going away party and then everyone started laughing and then obviously it spread very fast in the airport but um i think everyone experienced every emotion about it and every thought about it they felt all the spirit feelings in a period of like 12 hours where it normally takes like a week to sort of build out all the jokes and angles and yeah takes around it i don't think it's um a surprise but i wonder if that opens up the mark like i wonder if this if if somebody's going to introduce or really push a new low-cost carrier to fill that void who's going to jump in the ring for the diffusion line airline that's going to keep everything in check yeah like delta united american could do a diffusion line i'm sure there's like whatever you know one of these like budget european airlines could come to america i just wonder or maybe maybe there isn't maybe the reason spirit's going out of business is that the gap is smaller than we think yeah people are People are saying that the reason everyone's complaining about airline prices, as soon as Spirit goes away, the one thing that affects the spectrum of pricing, when that goes away, you're going to really see what fucking United and Delta can do with the price tag.
57:04I'm sure it's going to affect the entire industry negatively in some way. Not the comedic industry, because Spirit, people will really be getting their jokes off about Spirit.
57:14Jason Stewart:but yeah do you think that frontier is like damn i've been waiting for this moment my whole fucking life somebody somebody's got it somebody has to capitalize on it it feels like a pretty obvious thing to do but maybe the data isn't also why can't you do like i made a diffusion line joke but why can't there be mark jacobs but dealt like why can't delta just do the little you know the lower level shit too because i think that i i i know i i agree i think it's that i mean they're already given us paper plates in the lounge so what's next y 'all once they do main basic why don't you just go main spirit you know what i mean make it even cheaper you got a board you got a board while the plane's taking off it's kind of a it's got i saw main spirit open for turning point brooklyn 89 it's gotta be you gotta like it should be it should be the cheapest ticket you gotta it's a race to board last you know what i mean it's it's 10 people they're sprinting whoever doesn't make it doesn't make it but buying a ticket doesn't guarantee a seat exactly exactly that's what i'm saying like so you mean like a seat number and you're like no no you have to race for it what's the movie where they went to the island and hunt they they realized they were getting hunted you know what i'm saying you're like the people were hunting with ice tea that that's what this could be it could be that kind of vibe where it's like you are you are you are you're talking about the hunger game it's not the hungry no it's a movie it was like a 90s movie where they went to an island and then half the people realized they were being hunted and the other half were doing the hunting.
58:41Jason Stewart:Right, right, right. That was... Fucking, it came up this week. Most Dangerous Game. The Most Dangerous Game, yeah. One of Katie's texts brought it up this week and I was like, oh yeah, actually a movie I've seen. One of the 11 flicks I've actually caught, Most Dangerous Game. Do you think there's any man out there that's not going to be forced to see The Devil Wears Prada 2? do you think is there any man that can avoid it i was thinking about this because when we were on the plane carolyn texted me like damn they got withering heights on here and i was i was reminded of when that came out and she mentioned you know wanting to see it and i was like that is that's all you and your girls like yeah i am not going to be in the theater with you guys fucking gooning out for an hour and a half um i'm scraped but then devil wear the product comes around and that seems a little more I'm able to include my bisexual partner in this matter.
59:34Yeah, no, I think so too.
59:35Jason Stewart:Like if I was like a Jason Kelsey type then nah, leave me at home but since like I'm kind of T, it's gonna be fine. If I was Jason Kelsey type, I mean I don't care about seeing it at all but I feel like I don't remember the first one. I don't remember anything about it. Like I'm sure I've seen it. It doesn't matter if you don't remember the first one. But people are trying to say it's like oh it's actually a real cutting look at the dying media industry i'm like is it though like i'll we'll see about that i mean i think you guys want to make it i think people want it to be good so bad that it's going to be good like the performance you know what i mean no one no one thinks it's going to be fucking chinatown or whatever like it's your your the base level for it is like sloppy no but i think it's going to be a dumb thing no i think people think it's going to be like actually or it's that i've heard some chatter like actually it's very cutting and intelligent take on the downfall of media you know which is okay i i'm sure if they can sneak that in it's like putting fucking spinach and dessert you know if they can if they can fit it in because this shit is not yeah if you that's for people who like watching takes more than watching films well that's everybody so i don't know what i don't know what they're gonna do about all that now fellow lovers of cinema they get it okay check me out on Letterboxd it's gonna do fucking numbers that's for sure I mainly want to see it to see like how much of a fag scent BJ Novak does or if he keeps it straight I saw him the other night I was like how much are you in this movie and he was like more than you would think yeah I think he's getting it more than we would think he's like a Bezos he's like an evil billionaire is his character which is pretty fun to do I feel like that's a great...
1:01:20Jason Stewart:BJ needs to play only villains for the rest of his career. I know. Write children's books and be a villain is a nice dichotomy of a career. That's like a really cool... Get you a girl who can do both. That's a real cool one-two punch. But yeah, I'm sure I'll see it eventually. It feels like something new. Go to the theater to see that and get your fake Birkin popcorn bag. It's a little... It's just a lot. It's just a lot. But I saw that Marty Supreme's on the plane too now already, which seems fast. It does seem fast. but Wuthering Heights is much more recent but it's a different I mean it's a different kind of movie I guess it's just interesting because like uh it went from being sex sells to having a a take and an opinion and thoughts on this thing sells better you know like before it'd be like hey we got two really hot people Margot Robbie and fucking this Australian fucking hunk and they're just gonna like kind of finger each other for two hours that would be lines around the corner in the 80s and 90s you know that's star wars shit yeah but now it's like but the fact that nobody needed to have a take about it because not you know nothing happens hot people are hot but when it's like i need to know what the take is on you know the taylor swift documentary or devil wears like once it gets into that thing where it's like you feel left out and you're not a part of the zeitgeist if you don't have a take on it no it's true you gotta you gotta participate and even if you i mean You could just go on Letterboxd and kind of compile a take.
1:02:45You know what I'm saying? If you're a gold member. And just take a little from column A, a little from column B, and there you go. You got it. Repackage it.
1:02:52Jason Stewart:I pay a little more, but it's worth it for me. Yeah, it's super worth it. All right. Well, look. How long gone? Jason, I know you're wearing your Gap Victoria Beckham hoodie right now over there, and I hope you're getting a lot of compliments on it. I saw a couple. Oh, my God. I forgot. We were taking our Sunday morning stroll literally through the garden, and I see this guy. he's in a tour group you know with like the person holding a little flag and everyone has a little headset this guy is he looks like he's from London, British looking guy full head and face tats, you know when people have the like gargoyle horns on top of the head you know like just look like a mean guy, menacing character but he had like the skinny kind of like you know jeans with the holes in them like fake Amiri's kind of jeans and then the Louboutin white sneakers.
1:03:44Jason Stewart:And then on top, Stranger Things flannel. My man has killed people. Stranger Things flannel? My man has instructed his dog to kill a person. He's got the Stranger Things flannel, and it was crispy. Oh, he had the crisp. He got it pressed with his Ben Davis. That's fly, bro. I kind of think he got fly. I mean, I think that if you look like that and you scare people, you know that maybe you got to tone it down a notch. You can't wear your Creepers and your Doc Martens with white laces and your fucking Fred Perry. Don't wear the Jiu-Jitsu Studio merch. Don't draw any more attention to the cauliflower ear.
1:04:31Jason Stewart:Yeah. You're not able to wear your Smith & Wesson vintage tee to the garden. Yeah, your whites only boxing gym.
1:04:43Jason Stewart:does that go a little more no no we're full we're full no no the stranger things flannel is a little more palatable for the for the for the audience in the in the garden i don't know my kid got me into it we would he would send me tapes in jail and i just i don't know i got hooked on it that's one of those shows where if you're in jail it's so good it hits harder it feels like a good the only way i would watch stranger things if i was in jail that's it that's it it's like watching hamlet on a plane the only way the only way that fucking thing goes down brother only way all right how long gone thank you for listening we'll be back on tuesday uh or whatever wednesday i guess oh yeah this is for the our our download of the met gala yeah with lynette who's joining us again year two and we're taking it back for the for the fellas i'm gonna call it the met ball there you go thank you thank you put some fucking nuts on this thing for once you know what i mean elegant ball for elegant people only if i gotta look at if i gotta look at those fucking heated rivalry guys in their dolce and gabbana gowns we need to put some nuts on this thing let's call it the ball I want to crop his crop top out of my frame.
1:05:40Jason Stewart:Dude. I want to crop Corey Story. Corey Story. Connor Story. If I have to see. That's his evil gay name. I can't see these guys again, bro. It's, it's, I forgot about them. And then Connor Story last night was in the, he was literally wearing a cropped denim jacket. He was paid by the Gap to wear this fit on TV. But I was like, I forgot about him. I really had forgotten about him. Get the bag, honey. I'd forgotten about him. And then he's back. It'd be so cool to be like, hey, I'm going to announce the band on SNL. Isn't that so fun? and then your manager's like, I think I can get you$300 ,000 for this as well.
1:06:10Jason Stewart:Yeah, well, I mean, imagine being like... How do you feel about crop tops? And they both laugh. Do you think he knows... Because Debbie Harry, do you think he knows who Debbie Harry is? Real talk, I don't. Hell no. I don't either. He knows that she's mother, but he has no idea what she does. It's so cool. It's really cool that he's wearing a Gap Victoria Beckham sweatshirt and a crop denim jacket and doesn't know who Debbie Harry is. That's really cool. He thinks it's pronounced blonde. not blondie he's like he gets he gets a little like confused with the ie at the end wait what what like french is like doublon i don't know i i just won't say it i'll just call her debbie i just want you guys i love old like music like vintage stuff like blonde it's like so good vintage stuff i just like love old music like i think it's really cool like i really like r &b stuff too my nana used to listen to them i think old music all right thank you for listening how long gone.com is a website we will talk to you guys later Bisous!
1:07:32month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying, no judgments, but that's weird. Okay, one judgment. Anyway, give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch.
From the publisher
One-on-one pod today: Chris is home in New York, and Jason is in Paris. We chat about Lime biking, Olivia Rodrigo and Aziz on SNL, hosting large files online, “Net 30” negotiations, iced coffee in biodegradable paper cups, L.A.’s “Forest Lawn Drive,” the similarity between Noah Kahan and Them Jeans, the Baby2Baby Gala, hotel room tours and “Italian-style” bathrooms, the Yung Lean choreo, RIP Spirit Airlines, and The Devil Wears Prada 2 is like, a cutting look at the dying media landscape, you guys.
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