940. - Met Gala recap with Lynette Nylander

24:18Jason Stewart:But the problem is with her. She wants every you have to you can't dress like a network weather girl for your entire life. Once you hit a certain age. Yeah. It's frankly pathetic when you start trying to look 27 when you're I kind of I kind of agree. It's like it's it's cool. It I don't think there's anything bad about it. her wanting to look kind of Botticelli-esque. She wants to give that. For the people at home, Lynette is kind of moving her body to show. Yeah, you said Botticelli with your mouth and you said body T-celli with your hands. That's exactly what she did. Well, all right. In extreme contrast to Lauren Sanchez-Bezos, Sarah Paulson wore a what looks to be a custom dollar bill over her eyes as a protest to the 1%.

25:18That was Banksy for Schiaparelli, I believe. Was that discussed? Did she say protest to the 1 %? I mean, I don't know what else that could be because it looks stupid. Let me come in with some school, some facts. All right, all right. Take me to church. This is material for Carl's. They were formerly known as Fecal Matter on Instagram. I'm familiar with Fecal Matter on Instagram as well as in real life. Period. Oh, good grief. And they now have a line out of Paris that's kind of backed by the Comme des Garcons group. They showed these collection addresses in Paris in March. And they showed it with the dollar bill.

26:02And I can't remember what the collection is called, but I was there. It was a collection kind of dedicated to sex, power, money, and fetish. And so the models had these dollar bills on there. So when I'm saying I don't think it was a custom thing, it's kind of how it was shown on the runway. But her choice to wear it, her choice to wear the dollar bill probably does speak to some, yes, deeper meaning. I like the dress. I think the dress is cool. I do too. I don't know, man. I just think that like if you want to protest, you either go, you don't go or you can't do both. You can't go and then be like, all these people are so bad.

26:39And then be like, what time is my sprinter coming? You know what I mean?

26:43Jason Stewart:She's the call is coming from inside the 1 % is what we're saying. Yeah. Yeah. Where the canapes are. Do you guys have tuna tartare? Is it just beef? Yeah. It doesn't feel it doesn't feel real. I don't know. But I want to keep, all right, Sabrina Carpenter and Custom Dior film strips with a little headpiece. She got a little headpiece on. I'm weirdly okay with this. I don't know why. I hate themes. I think themes are loser behavior and everybody should just look hot. But I do think this feels maybe too on the nose. Is that possible? This one kind of confused me, to be honest. So the film strips are of the film Sabrina.

27:27The Teenage Witch, of course, a classic of our youth. The Teenage Witch, not the movie The Teenage Witch, the real hit of our time. And this was Jonathan Anderson's Dior. I mean, I need someone to hit me with the art in this. Like, I get I'm looking at. You need the car facts on the art here. Yeah, I'm just a little bit. Her shoes are giving cocktail waitress at the box, which sort of throws it off for me a little bit. But I like Sabrina Carpenter. You know what? I've come full circle on Sabrina Carpenter. I like her. I think she's dating Joe Keery, friend of the program, known as musician Joe.

28:05And I like that for both of them. She's getting that digic. Exactly. I think it's cool. And I'm happy for her. The shoes, I don't love the shoes. But overall, I think that it looks, you know what it is? It looks extremely well made. It looks extremely well made. And it was a swing. At least she tried to do something. Yeah, that's true. She didn't just. The hair is a choice. But at least she did try and kind of think outside the box. I'm confused as how it relates to art. That bit is missing for me.

28:42Jason Stewart:Well, because film is art. Yes, some people, not me. The way fashion is art. Okay, thank you. Jason. Thank you. News at 11. I didn't mean to gag you like that. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. All right. I, you know, there, there are some things I think Hunter Schaefer in the Prada, my queen, I don't even love this dress, but I'm just a Hunter Schaefer head. So I'm happy whenever she's out. And speaking of, of, of, you know, usually she's got the titties out, but this was pretty, this was pretty, I would say demure. Would you, would you say Lynette? I agree. and listen this is a hunter this is a uh a hunter-shafer household yeah we it is it really is here yeah we there will be no blasphemy on on our queen our queen this was prada um and it was inspired by um a gustav clint painting um if you google it it's like and you'll you'll recognize the girl and it's a clear yeah they have they have just paid homage to that i mean she's just such a delight and again she can pull off her and dara are just so in the pocket and like she can she can do things that other people can't do it's cutesy but again she like had a reference did it i don't hate it okay i don't hate it from lynette that's i don't hate it either i don't hate it either one of the i would say maybe the the the best example of the model looking better than the reference artwork that it was referencing exactly if that makes sense i thought paloma looked good obviously we're biased but i thought that was really nice too we are biased but we are also fair you know what i mean like tough but fair that's how they describe this podcast tough but fair how do you feel about the the the diamond crusted earpiece it's it's given it's given drippy it's given it's given you know you got jewelry i got i got real body parts it's giving that.

30:36I mean, I love this. Yes, full disclosure to listeners at home. Paloma is a good friend of mine, but I really honestly thought this was one of the best dresses of the night, and it's actually got such a sick story. Francesco Rizzo was formerly the creative director of Marnie. He's a kooky little freak, too, so I'm glad to see him pulling something nice here. He's a kooky little freak. I guess he doesn't want to call this his new brand, but I I guess it's his new project. And I'm going to get the name of it because I think it's like. I think I have it here. I think I have it here. What is it called?

31:13It's called Bureau of Imagination. Well, okay. We can workshop that later, Francesco. But that's not going to work. That's a mouthful. That's a mouthful. So the Columbus dress is a combination of over 100 dresses from the 20s, 30s, and 40s that they put together. I just like it a lot. that's fucking crazy actually i didn't realize that that's insane it's a hundred dresses all in one dress which i think is like to actually make art by doing that is like exactly the theme she looks amazing she killed it the whole weekend i mean at the the pre pre-met party the both pre-met parties she wore uh lumps and bumps con de gaston uh 1997 the seminal collection the one it's actually in the exhibition which i preview i mean that's what i'm talking about someone take me to church take me to the exhibition all right hosier calm down you should get hot okay well speaking of

32:11Jason Stewart:lumps and bumps as you said let's talk about cardi b was she was there yeah she was she was one of my favorite looks of the night she was dressed like a mark jacobs hemorrhoid and it was working i liked it thank you so much jason because the apps this this look out of all the looks is the one that's dividing the internet we put this up at bizarre and you should see the comments people just do not get it it's i got hemorrhoids intestines oh i see this now okay this is hideous um i just want to be clear now that i've got eyes on it i really love the pastel like color splots like on the front of her thighs like the really interesting color play with her and her body and her skin and the lumps and her curvaceousness naturally there's a lot of layers to her fat ass you know what i'm saying i like people are calling it fibroids in the in the comments listen i let me come in with my hot take this is mark jacobs i this is this is a dress or at least inspired by a family address that he did a couple seasons ago which i don't think he ever said it was inspired by rekao kubo's lumps and bumps but it very clearly is inspired by comte garçon i loved it i think cardi this was a map for all the girls with body to win it was yours to take and like cardi is very open about her her love of a little enhancement she knows you know she openly talks about that ass being you know a crafting of her doctor and i think like to put it on display i thought I thought it was great I I don't think it's for everyone I understand I think that's cool Chris you know catch up because me and Jason are like running laps I know I know I just you know sometimes with this and we've talked about this before sometimes I just look at things and I I just am baffled yeah I don't I don't know I don't know why I have such a physical reaction to it but I guess that's the whole point I'd rather you I'd rather it be a hate or love situation than a that's just okay situation.

34:12You know, like I appreciate that for sure.

34:14Jason Stewart:Yeah, not everyone has a taste for the absurdity. Yes, exactly. I want to talk about thing one and thing two from Heated Rivalry. Because Connor Story's fine ass looked like a PTA mom going to the fucking meeting with a blouse on. But when he had the jacket on, he looked good and then he took the jacket off. I know you want to show off your guns, big bro, but jacket should have stayed on. I thought it looked so much better with the jacket on. I completely disagree. That's a mad... I disagree as well. That's a mad worry. You guys are fucking crazy. That ain't a man... The only man that can wear a pussy bow is Harry Styles.

34:50Let's keep it 100%.

34:51Jason Stewart:No, no. With the jacket on, it made the look just regular and boring. It wasn't bad, but it was just a regular look. He had to take it off. He did look like a female wrestler going to court with the way the sleeves were looking, but what are you going to do? Y 'all can have him. Hudson Williams obviously looked worse. He always looks worse. That's the problem with those two. I completely disagree. I think it was chic to wear a halter neck as a guy. You've got to have arms. He has arms. He looked good. I think it was San Aran. I thought he looked good. I think for your first Met Gala, it was a nice, clean look.

35:29Hudson. I don't know what's happening. The black swan makeup. They actually said Black Swan makeup, too. They called Darren Aronofsky and got... Really? No, I'm joking. But they did go on record. No, I think they did, yeah. And I think to echo popular culture, why are they in it? Why? Why? Why is that? I always ask why. Yeah, Hudson, I just don't think I'm understanding what I'm looking at. I never am either. That's because he's bi. That's the problem. You need somebody to pick a side.

36:09Jason Stewart:Okay, well, I saw a photo on Twitter where it showed the original sketch idea versus the final look. And it looks like it could have maybe been who was cutting this. It was their fault more than his because the sketch looked much better. It was sort of like when you watch Project Runway. Yeah, project one way, and then you see the final, and you're like, oh, boy. Well, this could also be a stylist issue. Somebody could have freaked it after the fact. Exactly. There's a lot because styling-wise, there's just also a lot of misses. Like, the pants look too low, and there were a lot of stylistic choices.

36:50Maybe the suit alone, but I don't know. The pants look too long on the guy. I don't know if you saw him come out of the mask, but he was in a frete robe. I saw him in his robe, thotting out yet again. Did you like the robe look? You like the robe, Azarsin? I thought it was a flex for Frette to on him stepping out, send the press release saying custom Frette gown. No, that is cool. I agree with that. That was a look. I just don't really, yeah, I don't know, man. I just think that, also put a shirt on, dude. Like you're not, the other guy is the body. That's the reality. Like the other guy's got the crazy body.

37:26Jason Stewart:If we're going to show a tummy, one of the two should be doing that and he ain't the one. But I think Saint Laurent overall, though, had the best showing. I think Zoe Kravitz looked good. I think Kate Moss looked good. I think Charlie looked good. Like, it looked good and cool, and everybody looked – I guess it just – maybe it wasn't the biggest swings, but it felt successful overall. It sounded like Anthony Baccarello was giving simplicity, and, like, whether it is the most, like, ostentatious, crazy thing, it's clean, and all of those girls looked really, really beautiful. Zoe, I mean, she's a – I would say she's a cheat code.

38:00If you make that girl look bad, it's on you. It's not on her. She looks amazing. Kate Moss, again, another cheat code. It's never going to be bad. I saw Kate Moss leaving the hotel. Head down walk to the Sprinter. No stop for photographers. Do you think it's because there was a six-pack in the Sprinter and she needed Estella? Or do you think she was making a statement? Like, I've been around the block too many times. I ain't stopping for you bozos. It's like she's cunt. It's because she's cunt. She is cunt. I agree. She's mother. She's just like, listen, you tired fools don't get all this clownery at the mark with the robots and whatever the hell was going on over there.

38:39She's like, I give you a look and I keep it pushing. And that's what she did. Okay, so let's talk about nipples. Let's do that. If we could. What's up with the fake nipple thing? Can you give us some background on that? Because they're not wearing skims. These are obviously, you know, Kylie is in Schiaparelli and so was, well, I don't know what Kendall's in, but they both had the nipples, correct? Yeah. Kendall was wearing Austin Gap Studio by Zach Posen, their new creative director. We knew we were going to see a bunch of these sort of molded, bustier sculpted things. It's again, it's kind of body 101 is to always do this kind of corset.

39:22We saw Hayley Bieber did it with YSL, that gold with the blue. Kim K. Kim K. Let me ask you a question, Lynette. As a woman, have you worn something like this? How does it feel? Have I ever? I mean, I'm pretty well endowed in that area. So I don't ever feel the need to wear a sculpted. Have I ever worn a sculpted bra situation like that? Like plastic? no i've i've i've i've i mean i've done it in the corset area it's it's it's entirely uncomfortable i mean these are probably like fit to their body they probably align with something that makes it feel better but it's not it's not a it's not a nice situation these guys are probably in a lot of pain i mean kylie i don't know if you've ever seen her get corseted up but she's

40:12Jason Stewart:really she's willing to lose ribs i haven't seen it do you have any videos you could share or how does this work is there a password how does it start and how does it end if you don't mind me asking no i think that the i think that the the kardashian jenner clan are willing to do whatever it takes and that's something we can all give them credit for no matter what the discipline is yeah exactly so so is it just a full coincidence that both of these people are wearing something that appears to be a skims nipple bra is that just a random coinkydink or is there an actual connection here i mean i think it's i think it's giving coinkydink but i mean they're all they're all the spawn of christianna ned flanders gen z ned flanders ass over here it's giving coinkydink it's giving howdy ho it's giving coinkydink but they're all the spawn of christianna which is like body at all costs you know what i mean do you remember when kim uh did that mugler with the dripping jewels and she worked with mr powell the famous corset maker mr pearl who actually did who does all the corsets for like the show girls like hat famously has like something like a 20 inch waist like she worked with him and trained her waist to get in that dress yes i do i do remember the late great terry mugler that was one of the last dresses he worked on said girl you gotta you gotta get it down lynette why does my because i got a waist trainer from instagram a couple years ago it doesn't seem to be working quite the same i still can't squeeze into the Mugler.

41:40So I need to talk to Kim about this and maybe see what I'm doing wrong. And you know, you've got to stop being at these depop dinners I see you at. I barely ate at that dinner. You know that. Chris, you've got to stop going to Two Boots after the

41:53Jason Stewart:dinners. I didn't even eat anything late night after the party. All right. You guys, Emma Chamberlain, people really liked this episode of How Long Gone was brought to you by Factor. Chris, I'm hungry. Jason, for me, eating healthy isn't a willpower problem. It's a setup problem. Thank God for Factor. With Factor, I'm hitting my nutrition goals this season without the planning, no grocery store runs, or definitely no motherfucking cooking. That's for sure. Yeah, and also that nice third thing where you sort of use a food delivery service to bring a bacon, egg, and cheese that was made somewhere in a factory in a different country for about$17 when you could just have some great healthy options in your fridge slash pantry.

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43:30Jason Stewart:50 off that miso edamame bowl. Sign me up. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to us by our friends at Dart Collective. I think we can all agree that wedding music is typically quite lame, cheesy, and it doesn't represent the bride and groom's personal music taste. Luckily, Dart works with actual musicians and artists, many of whom have their own productive careers or tour in bands you've heard of, everyone from Leon Bridges to Taylor Swift. Dart DJs use vinyl and are cool in a way that your peers would be, not a dated Carnival Cruise performer. They even have an in-house stylist to make sure all personnel look perfect on the day.

44:09Dart travels all over the world for events from Morocco to Italy, Greece, and the Maldives. Dart has done huge celebrity events and also intimate ones.

44:17Jason Stewart:Yeah, Chris, I am personally friends with Michael from Dart, and I have worked with them for years. I think the last time I did a big one, we did the Sweet Green wedding. They set up a beautiful booth for the ceremony, just some cocktail music, some vinyl, some cool vibes, and then they set up a whole big tent with a crazy bumping sound system for me to play in later. These guys are great. A lot of people always ask me, like hey you know do cool wedding djs exist do cool event people exist the cool part about dart is they'll work with people like me to come and dj your party as well as provide all the gear and all the consulting and all the all that stuff so if you don't know who to hire for your event dart collective is the one dart just like throwing a dart dash collective.com and uh ask for mike his email address is michael at dart-collective.com tell them we sent you uh so if you have an event coming up this summer dart collective is where you go people loved this this was one of our most engaged posts on bazaar.com this is yeah this is good for her you know i like it too i think it's a little too colorful but it looks good it's cool what is do we know what it is let's see yeah i I think it was the best example of taking the biggest swing and having everybody be like, yeah, this is good.

45:50Jason Stewart:Like the haters and the lovers are like, no, this is working, you know, because it's a big swing. She's going through it right now, Lynette. I don't know if you're if you're clear, but, you know, she famously the ex of role model who is now stepping out with Dakota Johnson. You know what that must do to a woman's. Oh, man, that's tough, dude. That's tough. Let's talk about range. your last girl was emma chamberlain and now you're going out with dakota johnson that's that's that's a choice lynette let me tell you something men we're we're open you know what i mean if you're bad you're bad it's not we don't we ain't really you know what i mean like everybody's got their tastes of course but bad is bad well but also you know role model two years ago versus role model now you know the calls are different life has been upgraded upgraded so you got to upgrade your chick too no shade to emerald we love emma but like dakota is dakota is you know it's it's a different league i would say that dakota johnson is is one of the women that men agree upon most across the board yeah in in the research that i have done you have to do the lord's work why listen i think she the gap ad really really sent me you mean the calvin klein ad where she's writhing around in her underwear yeah it's sent all of us uh calvin klein i was really like for someone who was very on the fence about like what what the i was like she looks good she looks better than good she looks great well in general yeah why is it that dakota johnson really gets men or i think because she's hot she's very hot in a regular way if that makes sense like she's like this is how i describe women like that they're the best version of somebody you know if that make sense it's not like they don't look crazy they don't dress crazy they don't do they just look good they wear jeans oh yeah i'm gonna i mean she has she has the the regular chick energy vibe and presence but she has the eyes she can give you the i'm about to fuck eyes in a way that like people in that normal zone can't do does that make sense it does make sense Who else has this energy?

47:52Oh, that's tough. I mean, it is tough. There are several examples. I mean, I think that, and it's not girl next door. That's not what I'm saying. Girl you know or girl you could know and girl next door are very different. You know what I'm saying?

48:05Jason Stewart:You know, I hate to bring it back to an OG, but Kris Jenner, you already know. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Kris Jenner. Kris Jenner in 89. She'll shoot you a look and you say, I don't know what it is, but I'm going to Brentwood tonight. Yeah, exactly. I'm pulling up. Let me know. unlock i'll call you when i'm there so you can open the gates you know late night no drake no drake back to emma i think also she was like really there wrecking jay-z like she was she was there i mean there were a couple other people but i think she was good i think she tried where she from looking at old google pictures of her to now she's really she's really gone for it and i thought it was good i know i think it's good too exponential growth we love that year over year um alex kasani in gucci and she she did something where she like was sort of covered and then unveiled on the red carpet i like this dress i think it's nice i think it's nice i mean it's fitting that a stunt queen gave us a stunt you know what i mean it's like she that's her that's her social media persona that is her actual persona i've spent time with her and i think she's wonderful um yeah this is good i mean again i want to talk about a dress that only a supermodel could pull off completely nude up top and then the black feathers cascading down i mean i think it was good i thought it was funny on the boke live stream i guess you can see her tips through the through the i didn't i didn't zoom in so i don't know i didn't i'm sorry i didn't know you could see the nipples through the see-through shirt you could see-through nipples through the see-through shirt and while she was talking to lala she's literally covering her titties with one hand and has the mic in the other i liked that as a little oh i just got out of the shower yeah she i obviously she always looks good she is a supermodel but to me the look was a little boring and she got she got mugged by hunter i'm sorry i don't know why i put them in competition with each other but i do and i think you all do too i don't think well i would like to talk about something that offended me personally and that's another abhorrent creation by Christian Siriano.

50:14He did our girl. Speaking of Project Runway. He did our girl Janelle Monae Dirtay. Atlanta's own Janelle Monae came in looking like she was going to the Apple store. I haven't seen this. It looks like wires. It looks like the back of IBM when you open the tower.

50:30Jason Stewart:Oh, wait, wait, wait. This was like a juxtaposition of organic matter and electronic parts. This is indefensible. Don't even try. I'm not defending this. She looked like a damn Aphex Twin album cover. Real talk. It was kind of giving you know where you go and you give in your old electronic computers and cell phones? This is electronic recycling center. Scrap pile. It's scrap pile. Do you know how my name must be applauded for like year after year she goes and she does the avant-garde right like she always tries to tries to do that thing well janelle the thing about janelle manet is she's beautiful and very talented and unfortunately the talent doesn't do much for me and i think that it's hard like she remember when her body when she did the body reveal a couple years ago that music video and people were like i didn't know janelle was holding like this and that that was that was a big moment that was a big deal for a lot of people but the problem is even that she thought that was really going to change things for her it didn't you know no it didn't it didn't no it's a shame when these beautiful talented people don't really shine the way they need to maybe she needs to see an ayahuasca person and furthermore to be honest it's not even flattering on her body she's got a great body and these like exaggerated hips it's like you can do a gag or make sure the gag actually compliments you like it's not it's not flattering point blank period yeah like what is it well that's that's my big thing with a lot of this is like i i thought the i think the goal should always be to look good and have it be flattering and i think that gets lost sometimes when we're exploring a theme so you're saying wearing the uh the internet router from 1997 is not like with some showing up with some grass woven in yeah it's not it's not wearing the chat gbt data center is not it's not it's not gonna cut it sadly i also i look i wasn't i was with the tom brown crew at the pierre but chase infinity was not with us because she went with i think she went with meta or something she was getting ready somewhere else but that dress is unbelievable i have to say and i am biased but she looked amazing she is one of my best dresses of night for me simple giving puss in the face and the execution she's like all you other hoes can like scrap and like get all these data center power strip nonsense i'm gonna just give face it was clearly the theme which is this trompe l 'oeil effect but done in like reds yellows blues she look that's the best we've seen her look she okay again face unbelievable she is so beautiful to that point i actually think it's kind of like scary how beautiful she is but it doesn't it's like art yeah it wasn't just her beauty it was really really well done it just was good okay well i i applaud the fact that he got all the primary colors on there and it worked it was it was like clashing in a way that was positive it's hard to do red yellow green blue all in the same look especially in a couture thing like this but i feel like chase is so beautiful talented and young and i want her she looked too old for me She went from being America's new breakout sweetheart actress, and now for her first Met Gala, I want her to really make a meal of all of the looks instead of going straight to dressing in your 40s.

54:04What would you have put her in, Jason? Great question.

54:08Jason Stewart:Girl, I am straight. I'm not the one to ask. but she just looked too old for me like i i i see a lot of young people you get big you get the thing you get rolled into the brand deals and suddenly you sort of just skip your 20s and your 30s you skip all those stages and you go straight to like i'm gonna dress like this every year forever i i would rather her skip that i would rather her skip these stages and look like 99 of these other bitches so i think that's the thing that's the happen because you look at dochi and you're like Dochi's young too, and she went young too, Jason. You can see her whole body.

54:41She got her feet out, and that shit ain't working for nobody.

54:45Jason Stewart:There's a spectrum, Chris. There's a spectrum between Dochi's - Dochi, one of the worst looks I've ever seen, honestly. And I hate tatted feet. I hate tatted feet. Lynette, come on. You like tatted feet? No, no, no. I just want you to really stand by one of the worst looks you have ever seen. Look at this. Who is it? Who did it? Was it Mark Jacobs? It's Mark Jacobs. Look at it. I'm looking at it. the color, the color. Bitch, I'm looking at it. The lack of shoes, the head wrap thing. I don't know. I'm kind of into it. Y 'all are fucked up if you like this. I don't like Dochi. I think the music is bad.

55:20I love Dochi. I like that she's mean to her staff. Like, I like all that stuff, but this is just. I don't know. It's kind of working for me. And I like feet out. I'm not like a foot guy, but I like to be barefoot myself, so I understand.

55:31Jason Stewart:It reminds me of Princess Leia in Jabba's hut, where she's giving kind of like, you know, late 70s captive trade yeah it's giving costume like isn't she trying to be like that that painting with the leg out and the hair flowing it's like you know the one with the leg you know yeah listen do i want to dress like this you know no but i don't have her body but it's not is this the worst thing i've ever seen no no it's not the worst thing i'm being obviously being extreme but looking at that i didn't like it let me say that i just had a gut reaction that i i recoiled Okay, well, last year or the year before, she had the full Louis V.

56:10Jason Stewart:men's suit, a cigar, and a Louis V. logo embossed on her face like a tattoo. So is that better or worse? Yeah, she makes bad choices. Exactly. That's a pattern of behavior at this point. You know what I mean? We got to get her checked out. Admitting is the first step. Exactly. What do you think about our boy Twink Troy in the Prada with the Robert Mapplethorpe hair? I thought this was kind of steezy and fun To just be like I'm doing jeans That's what I've got Look as a jeans lover The representation matters I think it does matter for a man Gay straight or otherwise to show up In these spaces and wear jeans I think he looked like Austin Butler at 11 years old Yeah he has an incredibly Young looking face So But I thought he was cool jeans He wore Prada I think I'm into it.

57:06I'm into it to just be like, this is what I've got to give tonight.

57:09Jason Stewart:He was dressed like Kris Jenner in 1989. Yeah, honestly. Stepping out, looking good. Boots with a little denim and a leather jacket. It's all hair teased up. I've seen a lot of leather ties lately, and I've asked people about it, and they are, in fact, harder to tie. I mean, I obviously thought that, but I was wondering if there's a trick to it. We verified those claims. I could have left. I don't love a wallet chain, but that's a personal issue. All right. Katy Perry. No, I'm a Katy cat. You know that, Lynette. I'm getting hot. Why is she wearing? I can already tell how she feels about this. Why is she wearing a fencing mask on the red carpet?

57:46Especially also her body right now. The body is crazy right now. It's fully covered. Face fully covered. Is she ashamed? We ain't getting younger. You need to go torture your girl. Right. I am so tired of this woman's clownery, buffoonery, tomfoolery. Carcassity. Carcassity. It is a lot of carcassity, unfortunately. It's just, what is she doing? And then I saw this picture online of her inside, and she's got a glass of champagne, and the mask is fully covered. So I'm like, are you going to open the window of this little mask and then put the champagne through the hole? What is going on?

58:27Jason Stewart:That's exactly what she's going to do. She's got to get a long hose, siphon it in like you're stealing gas out of a car. Okay, well, the one thing that I guess I will give her some artistic credit for is sewing in an extra sixth finger on one of the gloves as a nod to AI-generated imagery. What do you think about that? It's a long way to go, but not enough payoff. It's just a long way. As my co-host Jason would say, the juice is not worth the squeeze. The juice is not worth the squeeze. All right, what about... Long road for a short trip. What about Bad Bunny, 10 hours in the makeup chair to show up in some Zara?

59:03And I loved it. That's what I'm talking about. If you're going to gag, if you're going to do a stuntalina... I liked it too. I think it's funny and cool. I think it's funny and cool on loads of levels. On the top level, it's hilarious. When he came on the screen, myself and the team were like, who is that? the prosthetics were so it actually did not look like him so kudos to whoever did that you're like oh baz lerman is wearing zara crazy well i would like going back to what i was saying about emma

59:34Jason Stewart:chamberlain about like taking a big swing he did a lot with zara you know what i mean he wasn't just you're just like oh chanel or balentia or whatever is just gonna do whatever he had zara he's putting on from zero to a hundred he's putting on for his spanish fast fashion you know the less he's putting on but yeah but stevie nicks was also wearing but stevie nicks they specifically stated was john galliano zara john galliano zara ichabod crane but is this ichabod uh i was gonna i look stevie nicks is my goat i'm not i'm gonna reserve comment we ain't wait listen let's put some respect we are all too underling we shan't speak ill of that babadook asshole because she's got a voice of gold carolyn my wife said that um that bad bunny was sort of giving Mugatu from Zoolander.

1:00:20Jason Stewart:Yeah, yeah, he is giving. No, he is. That's good. He is. Probably, maybe that's who he was shooting for because he's like Zoolander. Very phony. And maybe not to, like, make maybe I'm being too, like, deep with it, but, like, a lot of time in fashion we talk about, you know, a body, but it's this, like, idealized version of the body and for him to be like, what about the older body, motherfuckers? Like, I thought it was cool. It worked on loads of levels. He's the only person who would do it he's the only person who would make it like funny i saw this video of him hugging chris jenner he famously went out with uh kendall and i don't think she's still he's still hitting on the low from what i hear but go ahead well there you go fun fact but no and she he went up to christian and i'm sure he that she didn't know who that was no she reacts she definitely doesn't know it she didn't know who that was is that you benjamin yeah she does yeah i saw a picture of him this week also he was running in new york and he was wearing a full adidas he was wearing like a full adidas kit with a fucking ball of clay he looked crazy like he looked like a robber and it was also very cool i really liked it i really liked his running outfit but was it aloe but was it all ad he's an adidas athlete he's in harry styles plate trying to get his little jogging in new york look on he ain't he ain't hitting the hairy times but that's a different story um all right well we should talk about uh the first family beyonce and uh her child She got mugged by her child.

1:01:45Do you feel like you can be honest about this, Lynette? Or do you have to? Are we playing political Parkwood games over here? Listen, I don't even need to be political because that is my girl. A skeleton. What is going on?

1:02:04Jason Stewart:She looked a mess. Just be honest. She looked a mess. Come on. It's diva-dom. it's a diva demon on a on a level that we are just not meant to understand as the mere maw like skeleton encrusted skeleton with feather with headpiece with earrings without enough fittings

1:02:27Jason Stewart:you know we need to look to look good from all angles on the met gala carpet not just the front okay we just can't have things pinned okay it's there's no there's no pinnage okay this is custom olivia rustang she is don't act like custom olivia rustang is a flex let's be honest now flex because it's about you it's it's about loyalty guys it's about loyalty he's dressed her for when he was out the only person he's loyal to the only person he's loyal to is his plastic surgeon and his hair lady that's the only people who he's loyal to jay i'm loyal to marcy projects and my plastic surgeon. He's got, no, I mean, Olivier has got box braids that will make the chicks jealous, though.

1:03:05You know that, Lynette.

1:03:08Jason Stewart:I think this is the first time I've seen Blue Ivy look great. Blue Ivy looks awesome. Blue Ivy looks amazing in Balenciaga. I mean, somewhere northwest is like, what the fuck? Well, that's because northwest looks like she fucking, you know, looks like Hot Topic threw up on her. That's child abuse, the way she looks. They gotta stop her from doing everything They gotta put her somewhere else But I mean in the sense of like where was her ticket I think it was like it's a big flex And apparently you know there's a No under 18s Rule of the Met that was broken For Blue to Be there on the night Blue's close I mean Kanye's kid's like fucking 11 or 12 I feel like Blue's like 15 Yeah she's probably like 15 I mean I think she just looks cute as a button and it's like age appropriate, but actually kind of like, it's a nice dress.

1:04:01It's perfect for her. And then Jay in the Louisville.

1:04:04Jason Stewart:Damn, Blue is 14. Crazy. Not that. They're kind of the same age. Yeah, it's so crazy that her and fucking Northwest are two years apart and it seems like an adult and a child. I forgot. Hold on. I forgot to, I forgot to, I saw him last night at the GQ party and I was gagged in a bad way. Sam Smith. Oh no. One of the world's worst dressers I saw somebody say Here come Jason Kelsey down the runway

1:04:37What's up with the headpiece? It's just always A lot for so little It's just It's Christian Cowan who I believe He's in a relationship with I think that's his partner Or their partner I should say it's really really really always not what I think that he thinks it is that's right that's right that's exactly right what was it like in person you as someone who witnessed it I believe I didn't want to make eye contact but I believe that the head piece was was lowered like I feel like the head top it was dressed down a little bit I think he I think they did a wardrobe change in the limo.

1:05:23Jason Stewart:He changed into his comfortable hooves. Yeah, put the hooves on. My comfortable anti-Christ hooves. Put the hooves on them. Alright, I love Coleman Domingo. This didn't work for me. I didn't love it. It looked like a quilt. He looked like the standard hotel in London carpet. I love him. I think he's great. I think he's charming. I think he's a great actor. He's great looking. He usually looks great, but you can't win them all. He was kind of serving 70s game show host yeah it's yeah it's giving like i wonder what the i wonder what the reference was because it's yeah it's like a harlequin like outfit um but you know what coleman domingo is the one of the only men in popular culture i would say who does anything that is relatively interesting when it comes to mental addressing this i agree i've seen sort of better looks from him can't win them all you know it's not a win it's not a loss it's just there what let's talk about something a little more wild skepta's tattoo jacket ring ring pussy i learned that all of his tattoos are awful except for the boy better no logo i mean because he's such a cool guy he's he's such a handsome talented rapper but even him he's got the casino sleeve with the spinning roulette wheel and he's got the pound symbol you know the dollar signs tatted on his arms and as a person with as a person with some tattoos that i might not be super proud of i do think that when they're uh kind of held up to you like a mirror in this way i'm sure he had some thoughts about it i'm sure he was doing some reflecting yeah but the biggest thing the biggest thing at the at the pierre was that his pants weren't the the boiler suit the pants were not tom brown you know they weren't the usual cut i think they had to make some concessions for skepta can you make it not gay yeah exactly exactly i to me also like the drawings on the front like the london bridge and the boy better know logo and like the union jack flag and giving And the pound sign, it's like, yeah, you're British.

1:07:38We know. And I'm saying this as a Brit. Like, it's a little on the nose. You don't have, you don't have, first of all, you're telling me you don't have a Union Jack tattoo somewhere? I find that hard to believe. I mean, it looked like a tote bag that you get at, like, the train station. Exactly. I didn't know he had the, that is, now I'm thinking about it. Yeah, that is a lot of tattoos letting people know where you're from.

1:07:59Jason Stewart:And also on the back, it says Skepta on his back across his shoulders, like your name on the back of your football jersey. That's hard, though. Fuck that. I do black big as hell on my back. That's fire. Arsenal logo, of course. For him to replicate all the tattoos he actually has, why didn't they just make a freaking see-through or transparent jacket and just have his tattoos on the side? To do a version of the tattoos he has is just... Why? You're overcomplicating something that could be so simple. Yeah, you don't have to make fashion out of the art when the art is right there. It's right there.

1:08:33Guys, do you think a rapper that's not ASAP Rocky is going to wear a see-through shirt somewhere? That ain't happening, guys. When you're as hot as this, you should try it. What's your relationship to Skepta, Lynette? What does that mean? I'm just asking. I feel like you guys might have her. Not like Romain. I just feel like you know it. Do you follow him on social media? I do not. No, I actually don't follow him on social media. I will write that wrong after this. I mean, I grew up in East London. Boy better know. And Grime was a huge part of my growing up. Before you Americans knew what Grime was, I was listening to it in my bedroom on Empire Radio.

1:09:11Oh, shut down. Shut down. Okay, Lynette. I don't think you realize you're talking to two guys that have been beasting the underground for decades just because we're older than you. Beasting, beasting underground.

1:09:23Jason Stewart:Mate, you're not really from the fucking ends then. I was at Fabric when you were in primary school yeah I don't think primary oh

1:09:37okay so but I I find I think rappers in these cases are very when it becomes there's a few guys that will embrace it I feel like in everybody else I think it's a really tough conversation to get it to a place where everybody's happy because it's just sort of like everything is a little gay or a little tight because Rocky has the

1:09:55Jason Stewart:The whole I'm going to dress like your grandma thing kind of cornered so other rappers are confused. I mean, the three other rappers who get invited to the Met Gala. Yeah. You know, it's tough. It is tough. And you know who looks really good? What's our boy's name, Jason? The really good looking guy with the big arms. And he's got the white. They live upstate. I think he was in. He was. Oh, fuck. He was in one of those. He wears Tom Brown a lot, but they were wearing Gucci last night. Excuse me. They were wearing Tom Ford last night. They look so good. not Morgan Spector Morgan Spector Morgan Spector and his they look good Morgan Spector who's one of those guys who's quote unquote straight somehow oh the one that's married to Rebecca Hall yes they looked really good they did look really I really liked her look it's very simple if you're gonna be a gay guy that's married to a woman at least like come with like a fierce couple's look like that's what it's for right they were one of the best couples of the night it's got nothing to do with the theme but it's serving again serving curse that's what yeah You want them to notice you from across the bar at the Carlisle, right?

1:10:58Jason Stewart:How could you not? How could you not? Hit that Eiffel Tower. Okay, do you guys have a best look? A worst look? Oh. Okay, I'll start out. Can you stop? Condition on this one is it's because we all saw it from a bad angle, but I'm going to give it to our girl Rachel Sennett. But then I saw it from the front, and it looked really good, and it was great, but it was photographed widely from the side and the angle just made it so unflattering. I felt really bad for her. But I saw it straight on and I thought it looked cool. I'm sorry, is that your best or your worst? I'm confused. Worst. Best? I kind of want to give it to Tiana Taylor.

1:11:39No, bro, you're out of your fucking mind.

1:11:41Jason Stewart:Or Kris Jenner. Kris Jenner or Tiana? Kris Jenner, bro, Kris Jenner. No, Kris Jenner looks like she's at the pool in Palm Springs. She was dressing age-appropriate, elegant, older woman, something that some of these people like lauren sanchez should be thinking about but tiana i always hate how tiana taylor dresses and acts but i like that she completely covered her bodacious body with these weird metallic crystal it is rare for her to cover her bodacious body that's true yeah she's always showing her fucking male stripper cum gutters and shit and she's wearing like a fucking flapper you know whatever i like that she was like an indistinguishable orb floating through space it was cool of her to do that i gotta i chase infinity is my best for sure i just really liked it i thought she looked so cool and worst i mean where do i begin i mean i think that i i gotta say dochi it's offensive that that is a real that's that's really unfair i'm actually i'm gonna i'll give it to jimmy butler as well yeah jimmy butler does yeah you know who i also i thought that nicole kidman and lena dunham had similar like it was there's some similarities there i I think they both look kind of good and appropriate.

1:12:50Jason Stewart:Yeah, they both look good. Okay. Let me just come in with mine. I would say best dress is, I would say Paloma. I would say Chase. I would say Nicole Kidman. She was that. She was. I love that. It's just giving mother down. Like she just is above it all. It's so, she is the campus celebrity on the record. Like it's so good. I love it. but to say that is the same execution as Lena Dunham solely on the color. No, no, I'm not saying same. I'm not saying same execution. I'm saying there are similarities on color and even the fabric. Yeah, like sequin and feathery, dark red thing. I don't think that's crazy to say, Lynette.

1:13:29I think anybody that looks at those pictures, obviously they're different dresses and different people, but I think you could see the similarities between those two.

1:13:35Jason Stewart:Kidman looked amazing, especially for her age, but, you know, the dress was fine. It was kind of boring. I think Lena was taking big swings even though she kind of bleached out the eyebrows which is something that, you know, our girlies let you know that they're going through something, right? Lynette, when's the last time you bleached the brows? I bleached my eyebrows last in 2023. I'll send you a picture. What was his name? What? Who put you through it? Who broke your heart that made you cry for help? What was his name? Say his name. That's crazy. That's crazy because it's actually true. And also I feel bad for Nicole Kidman's kid because their name is Sunday Rose Kidman Urban.

1:14:21Jason Stewart:That's tough. What a funny name. But she's going to the Met Gala with Dior and she's like 17. So she's fine. Who's worse then? You know what? I'm giving it to Katy Perry. And it's actually not even the worst. I think if I really was scrutinizing I'd find worse. no no no let me do it that's implied we all know there's always a worse look but there's always something attached to it yeah i'm giving it to katie it's just she's just such a clown town of the celebrity like she's another person that needs an ayahuasca she doesn't need to go to space again with her girlies she needs to go on like three week ayahuasca retreat in like the buenos ares jungle or some shit and then come back and be like y 'all i'm so sorry for the last 10 years i'm cool again y 'all are man all right fine all right what when we we speak this way because we care that much chris no i'm kidding i i she deserves to get dragged for that one all right uh lynette it's a pleasure always to see you to have you on how long gone to just hear your beautiful voice on the on the microphone uh thank you for joining us thank you for offering your uh your insights um they seemed less reserved than last year we're warming you up and we like that we're warming up you're starting to get the hang of this podcasting thing Lynette, when does your podcast how often does your podcast come out?

1:15:45the Goodbye, the Hopes Without podcast comes out bi-weekly we just had Chloe Sevigny on the GOAT couple more episodes this season nice we didn't talk about Rihanna but it's too late now we can talk about it in the comments it's best that we don't

1:16:01Jason Stewart:I hate to say bad things about one of my all-time GOATs we don't Jason can't. There's a few things Jason won't speak negatively on, and Rihanna is one of those things. At least he knows. All right, listen to the podcast, and they can find you all over the harpersbizarre.com website, I'm sure, as well. And in book. You absolutely can. I mean, where can't we find you? Lynette said. Ah, Lynette said. Always a pleasure. Good to see you, Lynette. Honestly, thank you. Peace, cheers. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Crashing from behind You know I'm letting go tonight I'm falling from cloud nine