In short
The episode is mostly comedic banter and celebrity gossip, then shifts into Kareem Hrama’s personal “country house” move in Connecticut, his lawn/yard projects (including Japanese knotweed), and his recent premiere/party experiences. It also includes discussion of sports PR (Carlos Alcaraz withdrawing from Wimbledon) and relationship rumors (Jacob Elordi and Kendall Jenner; Kaia Gerber and Shane).
Guests
Kareem Hrama (host/guest; described as extremely prolific online, releasing work daily; Egyptian-American; bought a 200-year-old country property; plans a podcast studio in the attic and a gym on the other side). Other speakers are the hosts Chris Black, Jason, and a recurring co-host (Jason and Chris are referenced repeatedly).
Key claims
Alcaraz’s withdrawal is framed as PR/marketing strategy; Elordi/Jenner is treated as likely romantic; Hrama’s new property is “Martha Stewart dream” but needs work and has invasive Japanese knotweed; neighbors noticed his lawn improvements; Hrama advises “don’t pay for passion projects yourself” and talks about taxes.
Notable examples
Wuthering Heights plane-crying; “Little Winners” Sandlot-style remake idea; Sabai couches and Floyd bed frames; Japanese knotweed infestation; Metrograph buyout for a premiere; Cole Sprouse sighting at a party; Venmo request for “two racks” after an Ireland trip.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOWimbledon Withdrawals and Pop Culture
0:56 to 2:54
Discussion on Carlos Alcaraz's withdrawal from Wimbledon and its implications.
“It feels like a blessing for both of us.”
Celebrity Relationships and Rumors
2:54 to 6:46
The hosts analyze the relationship between Jacob Elordi and Kendall Jenner.
“But I think that maybe they were stirring up a little challenger-style homoerotic, creating a little bit of beef that also has some cum involved as well, some horniness.”
Critique of Contemporary Fame
6:46 to 10:50
A deep dive into the nature of celebrity and public personas in the current landscape.
“He's on the beach in Hawaii with Kendall Jenner.”
The Sandlot Remake Discussion
14:39 to 18:09
Exploring the idea of a Sandlot remake with Jake Shane as a character.
“Jake Shane kind of is giving ham, I will say.”
Kareem's Country House
18:10 to 21:24
Kareem talks about buying a country house and his experiences there.
“They have all these weird towns in Egypt.”
Immigrant Family Dynamics
21:25 to 22:54
Discussion on Kareem's family's lifestyle and immigration experiences.
House Renovation Plans
22:55 to 24:41
Kareem shares plans for renovations and the condition of his new house.
“These are some flavors from where I'm from.”
Lawn Care and Neighbor Interactions
24:42 to 28:00
Kareem discusses lawn care and his interactions with new neighbors.
“You're the first guy with followers to pay for his own move.”
Life in the New Neighborhood
28:00 to 30:40
Kareem discusses his experiences and interactions as a newcomer in his neighborhood.
“So I think either they are pretending that they like me because they have to keep up the thing, which is possible.”
Kareem's Financial Advice
31:00 to 35:00
A humorous discussion on financial management and not paying for things yourself.
“You couldn't, I guess, what, the cloud couch was out of budget, so you had to hit Sabay.”
Show all 26 chapters
Event Planning and Celebrity Encounters
35:00 to 41:40
Kareem shares insights on event planning and experiences with celebrities at a premiere.
“Amelia, somebody's paying for her shit, bro.”
Bachelorette Party Discussion
45:08 to 46:41
A humorous conversation about a bachelor party and unexpected expenses.
“ate your outing it's my outing too if you didn't know i'm saying i was under the impression that at my kind of sort of bachelor party that I wouldn't have to pay.”
Dividing Costs and Friendship Dynamics
46:42 to 48:35
Exploring the implications of splitting costs among friends during trips.
“Do what you want when you're popping, Kareem.”
Comparing Levels of Wealth
48:36 to 50:28
Analyzing the differences in financial standing among friends.
“I'm going to have to reevaluate my friendships.”
Podcasting and Media Discussion
50:29 to 52:48
Insights about podcasting, media ethics, and guest appearances.
“Do you think more people listen to How Long Gone than Trevor Noah's podcast?”
Handling Criticism and Audience Expectations
52:49 to 56:01
Discussing how to deal with criticism and audience feedback.
“We have a rev share program that I think you'll find interesting.”
Audience Reactions and Social Media
56:01 to 56:58
Exploring how online reactions can be extreme and personal.
The Paradox of Celebrity and Audience Ownership
56:59 to 59:18
Discussing the strange sense of ownership fans feel towards celebrities.
“but it was a psycho thing to write that was basically a suicide note the way i get drunk three to four days a week.”
Hollywood Dynamics and Team Structures
59:19 to 1:00:15
Understanding how modern Hollywood teams function and their significance.
“But what, so Charlize Theron was kind of getting saucy with you though, low key.”
Managing Creative Teams in Entertainment
1:00:16 to 1:02:59
Insights into managing a creative team and the complexities involved.
“I know that, but usually that information comes across from one of the 40 emails you're on before it happens.”
AI in Entertainment and Its Implications
1:03:00 to 1:05:21
Examining the role of AI in the entertainment industry and its future.
“But yeah, I think that the Made in California on a Netflix billboard, that's definitely going to happen.”
Current Trends in Music and Culture
1:05:22 to 1:10:00
A look into recent music releases and cultural references in media.
“He's like, you might as well call him Claude the way he uses AI.”
Understanding Triple Entendres
1:10:00 to 1:10:40
Learn about the clever use of language and references in pop culture.
“And made is of course spelled M-A-D-E M.A.E.E.E.”
Gambling Lessons from the Oscars
1:10:40 to 1:12:16
Discover the highs and lows of betting experiences during major events.
“did you do coke or anything what did you do that night of course just a little dab so we're recovering from the girls tour from the world tour up in Connecticut It was just a little dab, though.”
The Dark Side of Betting
1:12:16 to 1:14:23
Explore the dangers and societal implications of online gambling.
“Sorry you had to learn your lesson the hard way, but that's a, it's positive.”
Trademark and Subway Takes
1:14:23 to 1:15:05
Learn about the challenges of trademark rights in modern media.
“100k down and they're like they're like they were like i'm gonna win a million dollars and i need you to lose or I need you to disagree more, they could intimidate and shoot me or cut me.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week. Jason, does that sound familiar to you?
0:13Jason Stewart:We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube.
0:48How long gone? Chris Black coming to you from beautiful, sunny Los Angeles. I mean, it's bright today, Jason. We won. It's up before noon. It feels like a blessing for both of us.
1:01Jason Stewart:It really boosts my overall happiness level for the day when you wake up and a little sun coming through. Hit that side light. Hit the light from the side as well as from the bike. It really helps with my rhythms. Yeah, I know how you do it. I mean, we're getting breaking news. Carlos Alcaraz withdrawn from Wimbledon, his wrist injury. do you do you think jason this this wrist injury was from popping his little booty on the cover of vanity fair or from playing tennis can we be sure that it happened on the court who are we just talking oh we were just talking to rostam he was talking about prioritizing his wrist strength from the pull-up bar because of his cello playing and his oboe work of course you know so i mean we we read the note that that alcaraz wrote to sinner which was very bizarre and he should one of the most he should pull out from tennis in you know just period i think he wants to pull out he's getting pegged like playboy cardi is what it sounds like to me i i mean i i was just like this is at once cucked but also homoerotic but also esl it had so many cool elements to it that it was it was fun to read because every word was just going to be a surprise you have no idea what is coming next kind of similar to like the the hypnotic cadence of a donald trump tweet where every other turn and corner is a new incorrect way of speaking the language that you are the president of but my my theory yesterday when i was uh when i was taking a look since he's sidelined he's injured his pr team is like hey you know they got to run these people like businesses if they're if we're not making money year over year if we're not increasing shareholder growth then you might as well just quit tennis.
2:49Jason Stewart:There's no point. I mean, somehow Naomi Osaka keeps playing, but that's a different pod. But I think that maybe they were stirring up a little challenger-style homoerotic, creating a little bit of beef that also has some cum involved as well, some horniness. Because Alcaraz, they're making him into like a bossy bottom hottie, hottie but you know that him and sinner are both like virgins you know yeah he's which which kind of helps their vibe yeah i think i was gonna say i think that like when you're this good at something if unless it's like the 80s and you're doing coke and having prostitutes come to the hotel in monaco you're not these guys are these guys is not even allowed to jack off no he has like a there's an app attached to his whoop strap no he puts he when he lays into bed and plugs in to charge overnight There are no women or men in the vicinity looking for anything else except maybe some electrolytes or some green powders.
3:48Jason Stewart:What do you think his punishment is from his team, his coaching team, if he does, in fact, achieve orgasm or even an erection? No, I mean, I think when the rumors were circulating that like Brooks Nader and him were, I think they were probably taking him into the training room and kind of slapping his ass and back with a big rubber band, you know, a resistance band. Right, right, right. The big one, though. Yeah, I think there's certain puns or throwing a really heavy medicine ball at him and see if he can catch it. Carly, yeah. He said, not the four-incher, not the four-inch band. That one's too big.
4:21i just don't know this is all too too much because i there's a lot of good i mean okay so jacob belorti pulled out of can due to injury as well and and then he was spotted on the beach with kendall jenner in hawaii on like a little double date with with timothy and uh and and kylie i think they were all together and people were like oh he didn't want to he didn't want to go to italy and watch a bunch of bad movies he wanted to go fuck kendall jenner in hawaii i think he made the right choice and i think that what is most interesting is that jacob alorty and kendall jenner both look like lesbians what is the what is the like do you think that this is i think it's a real romance but i do think that the the timing and looks are interesting i think they can just
5:07Jason Stewart:have fun as friends also jacob alorty doesn't have a film in can i don't think he's currently promoting no he was gonna be he was gonna be like a judge he did he had some sort of like ceremonial duty that he was supposed to do okay which is which is something that you have to do in his position to sort of play the game keep everybody happy yeah exactly keep everybody because you're gonna have a film soon right right right he said i'm still riding the uh wuthering heights wave right now let me just keep collecting this head for another 18 months and then we could focus on the next project actually speaking of of that film i was i was on the airplane with carolyn a couple weeks ago when we were going to europe she was like oh hell yeah Wuthering Heights is on Delta.
5:49Jason Stewart:And I said, okay, have fun. And 16 minutes into the film, she was crying. She cried through the whole thing. Crying? Yeah. I didn't think it was that kind of thing. I didn't think so either. But she, I think it was, I mean, obviously the airplane effect in terms of your emotions, but. Sure, sure. She wasn't feeling it in the Punani. She was feeling it in the heartstrings. I'll never know. Carolyn, I know you're listening to this right now. I apologize. I would say in advance, but this has already all happened, and I'm sorry about that. I think Alex watched out on the plane, too, but I don't know if she cried.
6:20But, I mean, Alex. Let's give her a call. Alex, did you cry watching Wuthering Heights?
6:33She said no, just horny.
6:38Jason Stewart:That's my girl. Never change, Alex. Yeah, never change. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Sorry. Okay. So back to Elordi. He's on the beach in Hawaii with Kendall Jenner. I believe that Kendall Jenner is just kind of like an asexual being. Like she just sort of, she's like an alien. Like she does engage in sex somehow, but it's not like the way that like human mortals do on planet Earth. It's just like a new, she just like hovers over somebody and steals their. She's too, she's too hot. Yeah. I don't know what's going on there, but I feel like this is a powerful move for them, regardless of reality.
7:14Jason Stewart:Do you think that this is a friendly thing or a romantic thing? No, I think it's a romantic thing. I think these people sort of end up together in these situations because they really are at that point where it's like, all right, well, I can't date another basketball player because they're losers who cheat on me. And Jacob Elordi's like, she's hot. Bad Bunny's gay. Bad Bunny's gayer than me. Yeah, and Jacob was always like, she's so hot. You know? It's like, there's no, everybody wins. You know what I mean? This is cool for everybody. I went to Kauai with her. She's so fucking fit, mate. No, look, she can really drink.
7:51I was impressed. She's built like a centaur. She's bad, bro. No.
7:55Jason Stewart:Yeah, non-derogatory way. Well, who do you think is getting more action from this fake relationship between the stars? We got a Lordy and Jenner or Gerber and Shane doing their double date, wearing their oxblood Chanel bags to Matsuhisa. I think it's the perfect crime because Kendall Jenner's dating. Sounds like an action Bronson bar. I mean, excuse me, Kaia Gerber's dating a regular hot guy who doesn't really want to do this kind of stuff, I feel like. He seems to, as a child. Doesn't want to go to, doesn't want to eat lunch. I don't think he wants to be chased down the street, you know. I think he's a little more, I think because he's like a real actor who was raised in the spotlight by a beloved father who's an actor.
8:40I feel like it's a little bit like, you know what? Go out with your gay homies. You and I will go to Mexico. We hang at the house, but I'm not playing these games. And Jake Shane, the little leprechauns are ready to tap his heels together and go to any high-end sushi eatery. He's wearing the library science hat, Kaya and Alyssa's book club, which I am very supportive of. they're going but they're they have the matching chanel bags it feels i'm starting to come around on jake shane because and i don't like to do this because this feels like a tj style move but but i think jake shane is i think jake shane is playing a longer game than we realize and he's able because of his small size he's able to take the heat and it's only benefiting him and i think he's like bitch put me over the he's he he's like spit roast me over the flame francis i can handle
9:26Jason Stewart:this so you and it's only up in my bank account so jake shane is 5d chess jester maxing is that what you're saying he's he's jester maxing on a level that we in a way that kendall jenner has intercourse jake shane is doing a a troll that is going over the heads of some of our our brightest minds on planet earth i just think it's gone i think it's gone so far that that's the only answer i can come back to what it will okay well you know what i mean it's the law this the long game of the shortest guy in town. I want to know what exactly is the troll? I'm not, no, I'm not. I guess troll maybe is the wrong word.
10:00I'm saying I think he's playing a game that is where people hate him, but it is greatly benefiting him. And he only, his star only seems to be rising, is my point.
10:11Jason Stewart:Okay, so he's Spencer Pratting. He's playing the villain, or he's playing the punching bag, I guess. Yeah, I think it's more of that, where he's like, whatever, man. I'm at Matsuhisa with the baddest chicks. What are you doing? Like, I don't know. I keep my shit. Kylie Jenner's on my couch talking about, you know, fucking how to like reset your brain chemistry, you know, and you guys are broke. You can't even afford Chick-fil-A. And he's doing and he's selling Amazon ads against the whole time. Yeah, like he's cashing in. He's a winner. And that's I don't love to say that, but he's a winner. And I think we're all the losers here.
10:45And I'm just going to come around fully on him. I'm just going to come. Now I'm supporting him. I'm team Jake.
10:50Jason Stewart:You know that film Little Women? They redid it a few years ago. A classic tale. We need to recast it. It'll be a Sandlot style film called Little Winners starring Jake Shane playing the... We could have him and the guy. If they redid the Sandlot starring Jake Shane and a bunch of other children. That's actually a good idea. Also, we could get the guy. What's the guy that looks like a kid from Stranger Things? The real fucked up one? All of them. Galen, I think is his name in real life. No joke. He got South African energy to him. Your name is Galen, bro. I'm sorry. You got to start over. All right.
11:22We got a guest today. Our good friend and friend of yours, Kareem Hrama, is here joining us. He has just released some other shit. I can't keep up. This guy's putting out shit every fucking day. You think we're consistent? This guy's running laps around us. He's got Adam Faze in a sweatshop somewhere with 15 MacBook Pros.
11:42Jason Stewart:If you thought Anthony Bourdain discussed the diaspora of the immigrant story, just wait till you check this fucking shit out. Just wait till you. All right. Kareem is a dear friend and the hottest bitch in town in terms of your feed. So let's give him a jingle. He does have his wife's headphones, and she probably gave them to him begrudgingly because she's mad at him for something, and we're about to find out. We're about to find out. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian, stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. and it's trying to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world.
12:21And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions.
12:23Jason Stewart:A lot of questions, but how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire-owned platform. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcasts. You can watch it on YouTube.
12:55It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? You know, especially when it's not, you know, from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. What is a Revolve Man, Jason? It's all funny you ask. What's a Revolve Man? It's a place where guys who care about how they look go to shop. Revolve Man is stocked with only the elevated essentials and trend-forward styles from brands like Polo, Ralph Lauren, Solomon, Fear of God Essentials for our hoopers out there, and more. It's not fast fashion and it's not stuffy. It's the sweet spot between looking intentional and not looking like you tried too hard.
13:29That's what we're all trying to accomplish here, Jason. New arrivals drop twice a week with free two-day shipping and next-day options. Plus, returns are genuinely easy.
13:37Jason Stewart:Genuinely, yeah. It's one of those things we're all busy. Let's say we got an important dinner coming up at the end of the week. it's Tuesday, you're working every single day. You don't have time to go shopping and try clothes on and blah, blah, blah, or even just browse. Revolve, it's all there. It's all curated for what you want. And then you click buy, you go to bed. A couple of days later, that shows up in packaging that's a little nicer than the other places you're buying clothes from. And you've got a nice look for the big night out. And then you're like, wait a minute, I don't even have to return this because I enjoy this clothing and I want to wear it again.
14:13Jason Stewart:another time versus all those dumb other websites. So whether it's a big night out, a wedding, a trip, or you just need something last minute that actually works, Revolveman always has it. Go to revolveman.com slash how long to shop and use code how long for 15 % off your order free two day shipping, easy returns. It just makes everything easier. That is revolve.com slash how long and use the promo code howlong to get 15 off your entire order offer and soon don't sleep on it and you don't need clothes too you can get just you know a cool candle or an incense gift for a baby shower whatever it is revolve.com slash how long i am here i'm just gonna change the subject immediately i believe that the sandlot a sandlot remake with jake shane would would go so fucking hard i think i think that's i think that's an actually a great idea it's not about i mean it would it would be a tough imagine being his agent and be like all right i know you're uh 29 years old and the rest of the cast is five to seven but you know are you down to play a first grader i think he would it'll go i think he would have to be uh the catcher what was his name in the the little fat redhead he'd have to be the catcher you said yeah i mean i think that would work based and his sexual proclivities, but I mean, I think that being, you're saying because he wouldn't have to squat to be behind the plate.
15:39Jason Stewart:Jake Shane kind of is giving ham, I will say. You play ball like a girl. He's got his body. No, Jake Shane's got his body tight. I don't want to, I'm not trying to be on his jock, but I see the selfies he takes at the aloe gym right down the street from where I am right now, and he's looking good. Shoulders are kind of big. The abs are coming in. I'm not going to let you guys play with his body. Really? I'm not going to let you play with his body. He's buff. I mean, when you're small, getting buff is a tough thing because you don't want to look like a meatball. But you know what I mean? It's harder when you're tall to get buff.
16:11Jason Stewart:I hate to step in and correct you. Well, I don't think you're trying that hard, but I do agree. Did we already talk about the fact that Jason's not wearing a shirt? He does this all the time, especially with male guests. No, I just got out of the sauna watching your episode in the sauna. I just took a cold schvitz in the shower and my body is still, you know, like the post sweat sauna thing. So if I put a shirt on, it would just get all wet and nasty. Kareem only sweats when one of his subjects is not giving him the answer he wants. So he doesn't know. He doesn't know. It's an audio podcast. So, you know, it's fine.
16:47So you watched it in the sauna?
16:49Jason Stewart:Yeah. Wow. I thought that you're not supposed to do that. You're not supposed to do what? Watch guys in the sauna? In the sauna? Infrared saunas have little holders for your iPad. You've never been in an infrared sauna? No, dude. I'm fucking normal. I thought since you lived in Long Island City, you would have room for one, but you don't have one in here. I go to the Belarusian bathhouse where guys hit me like a regular American. I'm a normal guy. Salt of the earth. Okay, well, they have these things called saunas that are infrared. They came out about 10 years ago, and millions and millions of people use them every day.
17:24Jason Stewart:It's not really that rare. Kareem, you're looking a little... I'm looking what? Stop everything. I'm looking what? You're looking a little tan. Well, I'm actually in the country. And that's not a comment on race. That's not a comment on race. I just mean it looks like you've been outside. Even for an Egyptian guy, you look pretty tan. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Well, I'm sure you notice my scruffy beard a little tan. I'm in the country right now. Did you buy the house? I did. I'm in the country house right now. Okay, Kentucky. Are you the first Egyptian guy to ever buy a country house? Be honest.
17:53I think I am. I mean, I'm definitely in. What's the country? Like, if I live in Cairo, where's my country house? You know what I'm saying? Because what's the Connecticut of Egypt? The Connecticut of Egypt?
18:05Jason Stewart:Probably, I don't know, Azerbaijan, something like that. I don't know. Well, they have so many little, like, weird... Something Balkan? They have all these weird towns in Egypt. Like, new Cairo. There's a new Cairo, and there's also a new Egypt. Really? What? And they're, like, trying to build these little Dubais in Egypt. Because Cairo is, like, so overpopulated. and old world. Yeah. That they're like, okay, this is, no, they have new capital, new Cairo, and new Egypt, which are all little Dubais. Look, I raised a lot of new capital this quarter as well, but so you're saying there's a city called New Capital and it's the capital city?
18:42Jason Stewart:It's not actually. I mean, they wanted, that's the thing. They wanted to move the capital there, but it's not, it's not worth being, it's not working and no one's going there, but there's these little gubais but i guess that's kind of the country of this is a great idea because i've been thinking about this a lot how there's things that have hit the tipping point and there's no way of like fixing these issues like one of them being like the met gala like the met gala is so fucked out coachella is so fucked out now weekend two is better than weekend one we need a second met gala for regular people and one for influencers you need a cairo for the tourists and the cairo for y 'all the people that live there yeah how dubai how dubai are we talking like should we go there no because no one moves because everyone's like why would i move to this place when cairo is live are there are there high-end are there high-end hotels yeah it's like it's like high-end hotels high-end like sky i mean it's it's beautiful but like no one's there it's a ghost town oh so it's like dubai got it so you haven't paid to put any of your family up there that's crazy you haven't bought any of your family anything they don't want to they don't want to go bro we got we got we got the apartment in the in old cairo okay is that available on airbnb or do i have to go through you direct to book just go direct i thought you said you sold your family i was watching your show you said you sold yes family apartment in egypt and it was the worst decision you've ever made in your life it's the worst it's still my biggest regret probably my only regret but this is why'd you sell it why'd you sell it to self-produce some more bullshit come on because i was no i was a young man i was a young man my father had just passed away and i was like my way of grieving was like let me get rid of all this shit and let me get rid of this house and let me get this money so that i can get my mom a better because she didn't like that apartment oh so i was like let me see i see okay so we got a new apartment which obviously lacks charm and character because it's oh i see you're saying you had a you had the sick old old cairo pad with all the charm you got a new build you got the horizontal gentrifier fence no ac fans only is your mom i thought okay is your mom there all the time no but my mom is currently in kaira she's been there for like two months or three months so does she do the classic immigrant mom like i go there for six months at a time type shit we've been saying goodbye to my grandma for 15 years and she just she just is she's so tight see you next year motherfucker she's 100 she's like i don't need ac pussy bring me some hot tea like doesn't yeah hot tea doesn't work out never worked out like she just is vibing does she still smoke no she doesn't still what's her secret is she is she saffron maxing is she taking supplements what's her stack she just kicked dude she just kicks it i think i think she's kind of on that like the less you like your heart only has a certain number of beats in it like a battery and she's like i'm i'm i'm holding them okay dashboard confessional she's been so state she's been she's been so stationary for so long that she has saved up quite a bit of that honestly i like this theory this is like the theory when like someone like keith richards like he can't quit so this is an old school but low miles yeah old school low miles yeah that's no it's slammed it's got switches it's got when you see like a 1989 cutlass supreme convertible with like 40 000 miles and you're like it's it's like 25k and you're like actually it's probably 40k and you're kind of like might be worth it also i i regret to inform me that last time i was on the pod we talked about cars so let's just get out of this right now did we really we talked about your volvo because you're white maxing we were talking about that we were talking about i'm the whitest egyptian guy in the world dude connecticut you're bro you're whiter than me and that's saying a lot because i have i just have a little bit of residual flavor for being from atlanta yeah if chris started praying to allah he could take your chain and you would have to let him no problem yeah no problem chris black chris black announces conversion to islam all right why okay just tell us about this house because we talked about it a little bit what are we working with do we have to renovate what do you how's the yard is there a pool how close is the well yeah we're the well the well where you got you gather water for your family every morning from no the well is like pumps water into the house i don't here's the thing i am cosplaying a guy just fucking with you i'm assuming you don't grab buckets of water oh that was racism right you were like oh he's from Egypt that was countryism I'm fucking around now I'm fucking around your people do love gathering water with buckets but that's a whole other pod half the guess on how long gone why don't you go into the little Nile in your backyard and start paying for gold little Nile you're going to name your next kid that that's a good restaurant little Nile don't go to the little Nile pop up Nile downstairs now Little Nile pop-up at Bistro Ha.
23:32Don't do that, bro. Don't do that. Don't do that.
23:35Jason Stewart:These are some flavors from where I'm from. A lot of pomegranate seeds. A lot of... Okay, sorry. The fellas are in full effect today. I like this. Everyone's zoomed it up. I get horny for immigrant stories. Me too. Sue me, brother. It ain't just you. It ain't just you. All right, so tell us about the crib, because we talked about this a little bit. I knew you were... Maybe you weren't in escrow, but I knew you were sniffing around out there. I was sniffing. I've been sniffing and I've been wanting this for 15 years ever since I moved to New York. Cause I'd always hear these people that are like, Oh, I've been in New York, but we spend the weekends in Connecticut or upstate.
24:09And I was like, Oh, this is how like you really survive. This is how you stay for 30 or 40 years. This is how you raise kids. Like you got to get the upstate or country house or beach house. If you're a loser, uh, if you're a loser, you get the beach house up here. If you're cool, you get the country house.
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24:25Jason Stewart:We go to the Hamptons, right? It's nasty work. disgusting i've never been and i don't want to go it's not for people like us no no we're too chill chill and cool feed me readers it's for people like me but i don't get the invite and that's the problem so maybe it ain't for me well put the trip together player put a trip together i mean i'm working on it anyway all right so you actually so you this was your this is your martha stewart dream this is my american dream baby and now i mean i don't want to break any news here but i mean this is when did you move in who did your move did you post about it and i missed it like How is it?
24:58Which Vogue covered it? I'm organic here. I'm organic. You're organic. You paid for your own movers. You're the first guy with followers to pay for his own move. There was no move. There's nothing to move. Oh, you're just starting from Scrizi. This is a country. This is not my home. This is like, this is my second home. Okay. So it's not a fixer upper per se, but it needs work. So it's old. It's like 200 years old. Two. Okay. You didn't answer my question. Is there a pool? There's no pool. Broadway. Broadway.
25:35Okay, so what am I supposed to do when I come visit you? I'm in the lawn right now. I'm digging. I'm digging. I just started digging with a shovel. I just, yeah, I'm doing it in denial way. I'm digging it myself. Would you, do you want to add a pool?
25:48Jason Stewart:Hopefully someone's filming this. Do you want to add a pool? Of course I want to add a pool. Do you have space? Do you have space for a pool? Of course I have space for a pool. Okay. How big is the girl? How many whips, how many old schools can you park in the garage? It's only a two-car garage, but I'm thinking about leaving the regular car outside, putting a riding lawnmower in one stall, and then like a Saab convertible, like an old Saab convertible. I like this, but my follow-up question is where is the gym and editing bay going to go then? Brother. Brother. It's early. Okay. I'm just trying to think about everything before we get the architect going.
26:23So I'm in the attic right now, which is where my podcast studio, which is where the podcast studio will go. And then the other side of the attic will be the gym. Okay. But the biggest problem I'm having right now, and I just bought a weed whacker, which was an amazing purchase, but I accidentally sent it to Brooklyn. I was really looking forward to weed whacking today or yesterday, but now it's in Brooklyn. I have an infestation of something called Japanese knotweed. Japanese knotweed is what they're smoking on over there. because it's so illegal. So I'm trying to get rid of this patch.
26:57Jason Stewart:Japanese knotweed. It's invasive. Okay. Did the previous owner have to disclose this before purchase? No. Surprise. Big surprise. I don't like that. I would like to get some money back on that. It's a perennial plant in the buckwheat family. Fucking buckwheat. I bet you can eat it, Jason. Probably so, yeah. I'm sorry about it. So is your... Is a weed whacker gas-powered or electric? It's electric simply because I don't like the smell and sound of gas. But listen to... Listen to this. I had the greatest compliment of my life yesterday. My neighbors, who are 80 years old and have lived on the road for 40 years, they stopped by and they said, just want you to know we love what you've been doing with the lawn.
27:40And I was like, wow, people are noticing the new neighbor. I was really hoping they were going to say we love Charlize on subway takes, but I guess we can't win them all. They know nothing. So they're cool with you, even though you're not white, and they don't know that you're kind of big online.
27:56Jason Stewart:We love what you've been doing with Somber on the subway. It's wonderful. It's a very liberal joint. So I think either they are pretending that they like me because they have to keep up the thing, which is possible. Because you're the first brown person to move into the neighborhood in decades. They're like, now, did you dig a well? Are you getting buckets from the river in the backyard? you can bring us some we're kind of old so if you have any those mosquitoes over here now yeah nile virus they're afraid of nile virus so how how how good are you at bushwhacking like how how is this how are you going to take down this problem plant well the 10 how's your whack i don't i don't know yet i'm waiting for the freaking i'm waiting for the damn weed whacker but i do have this guy that i employ named victor and the reason that the lawn looks so good is because i pay victor $100 a week to mow the lawn.
28:47That's a lot of grass. It's a lot of grass. How big is it? What's the acreage on the lot size, if you don't mind? We got 10, baby. 10 acres? We got 10, baby.
28:55Jason Stewart:Is there a water feature? There is a river runs through it. Okay. Can you fish it or no? No, it's more of a creek. Thank you for saying that properly. That's impressive. It's more of a creek. A northerner user doesn't know those kind of terms, so I'm impressed that you know. Oh, no. I think a northerner uses that. A little creek. I don't know. I don't know if Minnesotans are using the word crick the way that maybe the southern people are. It does feel southern. But the north and the south are very similar. They're very similar places. Are you pulling any crawdads out of that crick? I don't think.
29:24I think there's only. When are we coming over for a classic seafood boil? How much newspaper? I'll bring a bunch of old New York Times from the city. We can spread them out on the table.
29:33Jason Stewart:Do Egyptians have something similar to a seafood boil? Yeah, there's like a. Not a joke. it's more like just like a fish fiesta well that's that's unfortunately that's latin and mexican culture so like like mariscos i don't know what that is like a birthday party like a birthday party in a park in la where there's 20 people in chairs that's spanish for fish fiesta oh okay yeah yeah yeah it's like it's like you just get a bunch of fish and you just grill it up but it's a specific way you can go to ebu kira which i'm sure you've heard about in new york city get some of the best best fish in the city okay i want to come i want to come to connecticut for an Egyptian feast on a summer's eve.
30:09You know what I mean? Sun setting. That would be beautiful. Kareem's got the wife beater on at the grill. We're listening to some war on drugs or something. You know what I mean? The Miller lights are flowing.
30:19Jason Stewart:You got some cool seasonings in the mac salad probably. You got the bahrat seasoning in there. I do think I need to build the pool. I was going to build the pool this year, but I think I owe taxes for last year. I'm one of those guys. Don't we all? But wait, before we continue, I'd like to shout out Sabai for the free couches. And Floyd for the free bed frames. Sabai? S-A-B-A-I. Did you do any posting for Floyd Detroit? Not yet, but they did supply me with two. So to your point, I didn't pay anyone to do the move because there was nothing to move. But I did get two beds, frames, as well as four couches.
31:01Four? You got four Sabais in the crib? I got four Sabais in the crib. You couldn't, I guess, what, the cloud couch was out of budget, so you had to hit Sabay. Sabay's tight.
31:09Jason Stewart:Yeah, Sabay got robbed on their time slot at Rolling Loud this year. I was upset about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Sabay couches, they range, looks like they're around the$3 ,000 to$4 ,000 range. Not cheap. Leather, linen, cotton? Recycled cotton linen. Okay, so it's an appropriate Connecticut sort of style couch. I'm going with an old, like a French countryside look and join. I'm sure you are. I'm sure you are. That's what I think of when I think of you. With can on the mind, how could you not? Yeah. I am white, dude. I'm white aspiring. I know. I want to be a wasp. I'm a brown wasp. The elusive brown wasp.
31:51That's what they call me in these parts, the brown wasp. You're a new species. Yeah, why aren't you at can? I feel like you should be there. Did you turn it down? I'm only invited to the Lions. Oh, you don't get to go to the real shit. I don't get to go to the Jordan Firstman one. Yeah. Well, how do you feel about Jordan Firstman selling his movie for$15 million? You can be honest. I'm happy. Do you think that paves the way for curly-headed guys like you guys? Because you guys do have similar hair.
32:18Jason Stewart:What do you mean by guys like you exactly, Chris? I'm not saying Kareem's on GHB right now. I'm just saying you guys do have similar hair, and I think that's representation. matter. It's like if Jason Statham wins an Oscar, that's big for me. You know what I mean? I see what you're saying. So in the gay body classification, Kareem and Jordan, they would likely be lumped in the same zone. I think possibly due to facial hair and head hair. Not body, though. He's much more fit. So there's a bear, there's a cub, there's an otter, and then there's a brown wasp I guess we're adding to. Yeah, the brown wasp is a new kind.
32:56But you don't... Oh, I thought you maybe, okay, I thought maybe you would go. You know, I can't, because I feel like I see you everywhere. You're popping up. You're making too much money, clearly. I'm not. Kareem, don't play broke. Don't play broke with me. I'm saying I am one of those stories of someone that had one good year, and now all of my wages from this year are going towards last year's taxes. Let me tell you something, bro. Look, you've got to stop paying taxes. You've got to stop the band. You've got to stop paying for stuff. Don't come out of pocket for anything. make Ian pay for it make somebody else pay for it make Adam Faze pay for it he can get money from somebody you should not be the number one rule when you start getting paper is don't pay for shit yourself that's what they told me
33:38Jason Stewart:you got too much money going out you got a lot coming in you got to keep it you got too much motion somebody else will pay for it who told you this? Jeffrey Epstein famous Peter Thiel told me never pay for it with your own money unless it's not a great guy unless it's a hot tub very smart with his finances can you explain this to me i understand how to get the couch in the bed no they they say that no honestly they say i've been told this before that once once you're doing there's always somebody like glenn powell didn't pay for his his his sauce brand himself he was paired with an investor thanks to his caa family and they moved on it like selena gomez ain't putting in for rare beauty hayley bieber probably ain't putting up any cash for road.
34:23Jason Stewart:Do not invest in yourself. Invest in yourself is a lie. That's what white people are for. Investing in yourself is a lie. I see a Tiny Gun music video. I'm like, Kareem lost 10K on this. Who paying for that? I did lose money. That's what I'm saying. You can't do stuff like this. Don't do that. You do the stuff that makes money. Have the hot Asian guy. Chewy.com could have paid for that video. You play your fucking cards right. The hot Asian guy you got running your business. make him, bro, make him go find money for it. We can always find money to pay for Kareem shit. Kareem ain't got to pay himself.
34:55That's so funny. This is so funny. And maybe you're right. You think Amelia's paying for her shit? Amelia ain't paying for nothing. Amelia, somebody's paying for her shit, bro.
35:02Jason Stewart:If your little subway show is all filmed on the meta glasses instead of hiring like eight DPs that you have to fucking pay their fucking insurance for and shit. When I sit down and see these fucking non-binary DPs on the subway, I know they're all getting paid. There's four of them, bro. You'll get in trouble if you don't pay these DPs. That shit is one angle. They could go be a barista and make more money. Zuckerberg wants to give you the money. I know Bezos is giving you the money, but Zuck's saying, hey, film it on this. It's free, and I will give you maybe hundreds of thousands of dollars.
35:35Kareem, you got to stop with the passion projects, bro. The passion is making bread. The passion is making bread. You got to stop with the passion projects. Let's get you out of that shirt, Kareem. Come on. So I did this for the, shout out Jack Wagon or Otherworld. Free shirt. Shout out to Jack. Free shirt. So we had Keep the Meter Running. We did the premiere. I saw. I was sorry I was out of town. But it was fucking lit. Like it was like the party costs as much as the show, which is unprecedented. Who paid for the party? Infatuation, Open Table, YouTube, and the Doris Duke Foundation. wow thanks to that insane lineup so i did what you're saying is that david duke's wife no they said it couldn't be done though i said i want to do it at the metrograph everyone said the metrograph costs like 80k i said it doesn't matter how does the metrograph cost 80k because it's the only place that shows failing movies in downtown manhattan like because it's just an event space dude everyone had like 824 netflix hbo they all have their screenings there i know i I mean, I know.
36:39It is a good place for a screen. No one goes to the cinema there. That's a lie. I know you went to every night of the Jack Harlow curation. No, that wasn't the Roxy. Roxy.
36:49Jason Stewart:Bro, like water for chocolate Slade, bro. Basketball Dyer's jam. Like water for chocolate. Yo, I saw him at the GQ party, and he embraced me. Like physically. He didn't embrace. Bro, Harlow's a real one. He's getting clowned out there. Harlow's a real one. He's a nice guy. He's cool. I think he's in on it. like i just don't oh yeah he's for sure justice justice for harlow justice justice for harlow put it in the reddit so how was the how was the because how was the party because it looked like i saw you had an old school new york cab they couldn't be done they said it couldn't be done i i bought out the whole metrograph
37:26and i said we had i said we look here's what happened is when i walked away from the tv deal I was really sad that I wasn't going to get driven around in like a Cadillac Escalade all day and like go to my big party. Like that's what's that's the part. That's the magic that you miss when you independently make something right. Like and all these people that come to subway takes, they pull up in the big black suburban paid for, of course, and they get out and then they go on the little press tour. And I was like, damn, I don't get to do that. that's like the only thing that i want that's the only part that i want is the black suv and the big fucking premiere and so i was like okay if i'm not gonna do i'll just i'll just figure out how to do that but that was what was important to me i had the escalade for two days i like that it was so sick driving around the city all right how much is how much is having a driver how much did that cost how much having the escalade in the city for two days i know but i want to i'm not saying that youtube didn't pay for i want to know how much it costs i bet it's like 1800 a day okay could
38:26Jason Stewart:you smoke in it i didn't try to smoke in that hookah yeah i had the hookah and a porto rican guy carrying it around for me did you have control of the climate in the back or was that off yeah yeah i had time of control did you have any important phone calls where you said kind of fucked up stuff that the driver could i'm always i'm always on the phone i'm always on the phone You're rolling calls. What kind of bold-faced names came that aren't on Substack? Any real celebrities? Like, did anybody, like, any non - Eric Andre? Eric Andre? Does he count? I said real celebrities. We got anything better than that?
38:59Cole Sprouse. I love Cole Sprouse. Jason and I had a very weird night with Cole Sprouse in Austin, Texas. What did you guys do?
39:07Jason Stewart:He was there. Yeah, we happened to be there DJing this music festival. We did a podcast there. And then in the club later on with a friend of the show, Python. on uh eugene kotlaranka he he was like oh yeah you guys in austin i'm in town hanging out with sprouse i'll pull up to the club and then it was basically just like smoking cigs with cole sprouse while every girl in the club was like it was great cole sprouse is very he's one of these guys that will hit me up at 3 p.m almost every wednesday and we'll just be like beer like he's european he's on a european vibe yeah yeah he's on a european vibe if european was in the valley he 100 no he's a european vibe in downtown manhattan this guy's always wanted to hang out and have guinness okay sprouse aperitivo as sprouse and fun fun fact i introduced eugene to cole and then eugene put cole in his movie which i don't know if this is public information from what i understand in Hollywood, I think that makes you a producer.
40:09I think it's a special thanks. Oh, not special thanks.
40:13Jason Stewart:He's opened doors. Put that in your Instagram bio. I think it's a special thanks. Not Patreon executives, not YouTube creators, you know, like real. Oh, Rami was there. Rami Yusuf. I mean... Amelia was there. Are these celebrities? They're celebrities. Rami Yusuf has to go because there's only two of you. If he doesn't support you, who will? Rami Yusuf has to go. He has to go. John Teeths? John Teeths was there. All right, John Teets. I'll give it to Teets. I saw Teets in the red carpet with you and your Red Cup boys on the red carpet. You had your little Red Cup boys moment with your homies from home.
40:46I saw it. Yes, yes, yes. That was the entourage. That was the entourage moment.
40:50Jason Stewart:How many members are in your Red Cup boys? How many members are in your Minty Cup boys? Six, including me, but they're all white. So they're really just Red Cup boys. Well, you grew up in Minnesota. But Jason, Kareem at the GQ, at the after party where Kareem was hired to do interviews. I was not interviewed, but you were hired to do interviews. You were telling me about your delayed party where you took your homies to Ireland. And I was like, oh, you guys went to Ireland. Did you pay? And he said, hell no. And I was like, wow, I thought you were doing a little different, bro. You just told me don't pay for anything.
41:30And actually, there was a faux pas after the party, after Ireland. I received a Venmo request. All right. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Rocket Money. I know we got a lot of listeners, Jason, that are pocket checkers. You know what I mean? They're looking at our pockets, looking at their pockets, looking at their homies' pockets. Everybody wants more money. And Rocket Money is the service you need to make sure you're not wasting it on these pesky subscriptions that you don't need or use. We got to track this stuff, Jason. There's some unwanted shit out there. And Rocket Money has been able to save users over$880 million in canceled subscriptions.
42:08That's a lot of bread.
42:09Jason Stewart:Yeah. As you get older and more financially wise, you'll learn that it's not about making the money. It's not worrying about all the money that's coming in. How's it going to come in? It's about taking away. It's about editing. We were just doing a podcast with a guest. He's making a lot of money, but a lot of that money is going out. He's not rich. needs to be rich what rocket money does they'll go through they'll find all those unwanted subscriptions and weird little apps that you signed up for you're saving on average over 70 dollars within the first month and they've saved over 880 million dollars total in canceled subscriptions at the end of the year that will add up into something nice maybe a little down payment on a new car, a little trip to the Maldives, or a gently used Birkin bag.
43:00Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitor spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let Rocket Money help you reach those financial goals faster. Join us at rocketmoney.com slash howlong. That's rocketmoney.com slash howlong. rocketmoney.com slash howlong. Hello, listeners. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. you already know the vibes um if you're out there living your life in 2026 something you're going to need is a damn website you might think you can skip it oh we'll just we'll just hyperlink to instagram oh no i have a snapchat i have a twitter i have wrong we need to put this shit under one umbrella and thank god squarespace is here jason because that it can make that process very easy for you to house them genes industries all in one place yeah having it all in one place is really
43:48Jason Stewart:the life hack, the key to success. We already have too many passwords and websites and logins to manage. Is it them genes? Is it my email? What's your pet's first name? I don't have time for this BS. What I need is some cutting edge designs, some SEO tools that actually work for directing people to where I want them to go. My website that shows all my cool stuff. Maybe it's my portfolio of work, my artwork, my feet pics, whatever it is go there don't just google me and then look at some photo of me when i was fat go directly to where you want these people to go and you could do a nice little email campaign with that network of people you can sell content you could raise donations if you're doing something doing something really cutting edge and you need those analytics so you could show the people hey man here's how many people are visiting my site here's how much money they make here's how sexy they are and that's how you start making the big bucks go to squarespace.com slash how long for a free trial and when you're ready to launch use offer code how long to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or a domain from one of your guests that also had already paid from the from the group the group like it was technically my outing but you didn't you didn't pay so it ate your outing it's my outing too if you didn't know i'm saying i was under the impression that at my kind of sort of bachelor party that I wouldn't have to pay.
45:20And then at the end of the trip, I received a Venmo request for two racks.
45:26Jason Stewart:Okay, follow-up question. Are you the richest person in this group? I'm the third or fourth richest. Okay. Because there's some tech guys in there. It ain't sexy, but they're making bread. There's two Googlers. There's an entrepreneur. I'm just saying the Red Cup boys, they they take a punishment they take a beating but it's it's it's understood that kevin pays for all of their everything no no i don't think i'm supposed to pay on that trip what was the what was the 2000 what was it accredited to meals and entertainment what was the what category would it fall into it was all inclusive it was it was it was the all-inclusive lodging entertainment food and bath it was all-inclusive miscellaneous marketing expenses dude so you thought okay hold on so you thought you could plan this trip in your honor when you're popping when you're popping they can't open their phones without seeing your little mug smiling laughing with some hottie all in the video all of in the videos and then you you thought you could do that not pay for them to go and then also not pay for any of the lodging and and food you thought they were going to pay for you guys were going to be on my side with i mean i'm saying this trip didn't need to happen at all i know but i they had the opportunity and the privilege of joining me on a Mecca pilgrimage to Ireland.
46:41Jason Stewart:Okay, here's what you should have done. Venmo request denied. Do what you want when you're popping, Kareem. Maybe I'll do that right now. I don't think I've paid it. Just say nah. Do you care if you see these guys ever again? Probably not. I mean, that trip was probably enough, right? As your fame continues to grow, the distance between you and the boys is really growing. Maybe send an emoji with the denial. Maybe one of the grinning ones or the head shake. Here's the hack with Venmo, though. but you just let it sit. Because if you deny they get a notification, if you just let it sit, they'll forget about it.
47:13Okay, if these guys are Venmoing you for two bans after this trip, they're checking to see if you pay.
47:18Jason Stewart:Letting it sit is soft dick behavior. Denying it openly with an emoji that will make them more mad is hard dick behavior. All right, all right. Bend them over, Kareem. Do you really think that this is, is this something you guys have discussed? Or did this come as a surprise? You're saying the 2K request came as a surprise to you. Well, I'll say that I also got an apology. After the request was sent, someone said, I'm sorry, the trip was really expensive, so we had to include you in the split. What do you think this trip was costing PP? It sounds like two racks, plus travel. I'm sorry, that's not really expensive.
47:56Not that I'm, not that I'm, I'm the brokest guy on this chat right now.
48:01Jason Stewart:Well, the plus travel is a little tough, you know, the plus travel, that could be. The travel could be$10 ,000 or$4 ,000. Let me say something else. So here's a plot twist. There was actually 11 guys plus me. So technically, that two racks divided by 11 is what? $50? $200 extra per person? Oh, okay. So these guys with stock options that are vesting. They're pocket watching, bro. They're pocket watching. They're pocket watching for$200? They're pocket watching,$200 each. $200 goes a long way in Ireland, though, doesn't it? Jack from Trackstar wouldn't pay it. Let me say that right now. Jack from Trackstar wouldn't pay it.
48:40Invoice denied. My OG wouldn't pay that, bro. No way. Uh-uh. He said, talk to my lawyer. Uh-uh. I'm going to have to reevaluate my friendships. Let me get you. You look confident today wouldn't pay it. I'm just saying, bro. These guys, they wouldn't pay it. Well, this is the pep talk. This is the pep talk I needed. Don't pay it. You know, things happen so fast. I didn't really realize my level in the echelon. I mean, I didn't know that we were working with guys. I didn't know we were working with tech level. Because Jason and I, we don't really. Jason's got one homie who's very successful. But I don't have tech homies.
49:12I don't really have that. I got guys that made money, but mostly because their dad died. I don't have. That's old money.
49:21Jason Stewart:Come on, daddy. I don't got a lot of like, yeah, you know what? I just started early. I got in. You know what I mean? I don't really have that type of cat. That's new money. So that's a different. That's new money. They should basically phone me out on the PJ. $200 is a I mean that's a way Mo decimal point for these guys people are gonna be Very upset about this I won't get you a pillow On saw by Do you think do you think your Red cup boys listen to how long on I think a couple of them probably do I just wanted to say I love you guys and I also think That they are they are very supportive They are very supportive so I'll receive texts sometimes That are like hey just listen to you on The Trevor Noah podcast Great job if they listen to you on Trevor Noah They're in for a surprise today they're gonna have Bro, you slayed on SmartList, man.
50:03Jason Stewart:That was epic. Yeah, you've been hoeing yourself out a little bit. Because I'm putting a governor on your little ass. Do you think you can just come on how long gone after doing all this little CNBC ass? You're a little too exposed right now. You're exposed, bro. No, this is the press tour. Again, I wanted the black SUV, the fucking premiere party, and I wanted to go on the legitimate press tour. Like, no fuddy-duddy shit. Like, real press tour. Do you think, Jason, real talk, and this isn't us. I'm not gassing this up. I'm asking real questions. Do you think more people listen to How Long Gone than Trevor Noah's podcast?
50:34That's a real question.
50:35Jason Stewart:I think we're probably pretty close. Okay. I'm just wondering. Ian's listening right now. He's like, that's cute. That's cute that you think. Not even close. No, not even close. So how was it doing Smartlets? Because those are kind of our real enemies just because they do what we do and make a lot more money. They're good podcasters. But I would say you guys are better podcasters, but they are really good podcasters. Oh, I think, no, for sure. Yeah, like they're former actors, maybe current actors. of Bateman and Arnett. Bateman's in 16 shows on Netflix every day. It's unbelievable how much Bateman works.
51:08It's awesome. And he's a great actor. No, he is. He's a really good actor. He's beloved. He's beloved. But their potting skills are elite. Like, they're good. And I've always told people, I've always said, like, Jason and Chris are extremely good podcasters. Well, thank you. Definitely the most enjoyable. They were up there. They were good at podcasters. I mean, there's a reason that show is popular. I don't think it's due to their fame.
51:29Jason Stewart:I disagree with you on that. Oh, wow. I think they phone it in. I think you could tell that they don't want to be there when you listen to it. You think I want to be here? And when they don't... Like, what the fuck? What the fuck do you mean? When they don't... And the whole format of, like, the guest is a surprise. You don't know who it is, so you have no way to prepare any questions for it if you were going to. Only works if you're a master at improvisational conversation and you care about this stuff. half the time you know like the charlie xcx episode is a prime example where like jason bateman doesn't know who this person is so you get you get an hour podcast where you're just like so like what's your life like do you music is good like it's like talking to a fucking three-year-old but then when they have somebody like you on it's a fucking hour-long glaze fest i open up my phone and i look at you on subway takes and i watch it and i'm like it's so it is actually crazy you got You got glazed.
52:22Jason Stewart:Let's go pay some bills. Brat top 200 for like four years. Your ass comes on. They're glazing. They don't. They're like, must be nice. I think they think it's interesting because they're so far removed. That is probably true. You know, they're just like, oh, this guy's like done something. Here's the thing, though. I don't make nearly as much money as any of those people. I think that it's sad. It's actually sad. I don't get paid for my job, which is to make videos on the subway and in taxi caps. Of course. I get paid to do all the other stuff. So you guys get paid on this podcast. I don't get paid on this podcast.
52:55Jason Stewart:That's right. And we thank you for that. Well, no, we're going to start. No, we're switching up. We're going Vlad style. We have a rev share program that I think you'll find interesting. We're going to pay Lil Boozy$30 ,000 to come on because he's going to get us so many. He's going to say such fucked up shit. Does Vlad pay? He pays. All those in hip hop world, people pay and get paid. It's like they don't have any. I like hip hop. There are no rules to the way media. Because I think there's a lot of people out in the world. there's probably people listening to this podcast that think people pay to come on and vice versa like i think that's really something that does happen it's not it's not super prevalent but it absolutely does happen oh i know it happens but i'm saying i think that the most popular things that people listen to that would never happen you know what i mean that that's what i've i've i've had a couple guests on who have paid yeah i'm sure but like they they personally don't pay but like the label pays or subway takes is a dip that's different that's fine i think if if if netflix wants to pay 30 bands for fucking somebody annoying to come on i think that's totally fine because it's just what it is you know what i mean podcasting for for for better or worse is is to me that feels and i don't have this but i sometimes it flares up unethical is it unethical he pulled a knife out and i think he's trying to rob us over zoom right now this is my country knife the amount of it's one of those things where the the amount of money that we were going to get for whatever it is it's just not gonna you wouldn't do it you wouldn't you wouldn't do it for like 30k no oh wow i don't know i mean like because you hear about i won't i know i know how much people pay for certain you know like dear media pods or like some you know like i founded this new soap brand for children that is good people will pay it's like five to ten grand that's not enough that's not enough so we we split five grand between chris and i ian gets a cut we're walking away with you know$1 ,300 to have Todd Snyder on the podcast it's just not worth it it's not worth it they know I would do Todd Snyder for free they know they're paying we know you're paying us so like the energy is so wrong I think it's I think that for this show would be very obvious and if you're paying us money we can't like make fun of you and be real and no one wants to be a paid you can't at the top of the episode be like this is a paid episode yeah because then everyone's like this is all you can't be a pay you can't be a pay pig i mean look we should because we give this podcast away for free and people still love to fucking complain about every fucking thing we do but you know it's like how do you guys manage the haters i mean we don't it's not like a real part of my life i mean it's not like it's like people are like giving me death yeah we don't see the hate really it's it's rare we don't we choose it's it's avoidable but i just mean i know that my attitude has always been like if you don't like it go somewhere else if we're not charging you i don't really know what you you don't have a leg to stand do you ever do you ever clap back no i'll clap i mean every once in a while i got i clap i clap back i got a dm from a guy that dm i sent you the other day jason i got a dm from a guy who wrote me like a full paragraph about how hanover sucks because it's i'm not taking a risk and it's why am i not doing it like katherine hammett he like named some like avant-garde does just stuff that's like bro what are you talking about and i responded lol oh lol lol is nice and then he tried to respond this is like a 55 year old man like this is like an adult man who's dm'd me before like over the years you know what i mean he's like i was drunk i'm like dude but it's not it's not people like don't i think people i think people would rather be on a reddit thread gassing each other up about how bad the thing they listen to or watch is than actually tell the person that it's more fun do you know what i mean yeah it comes from a place of of of adoration and love there they want they want to see you do the thing that they believe in their mind that you're doing and when it's not exactly what they were hoping for in their mind they write you a dm that you could maybe send to the fbi and somebody would go to their house because it was that level of fucking jesus christ what the fuck is wrong with you but what do you get i don't i'm sure that guy's listening right now oh he's definitely sorry but it was a psycho thing to write that was basically a suicide note the way i get drunk three to four days a week.
57:07Jason Stewart:I don't do that. Happens again, cream's going to cut you. How do you respond? Because I feel like your shit, I mean, you told me that because when I did Subway Takes, you were like, no, I still get, I get notifications every day from people responding to that still, and it was six months ago, eight months ago. Because the algorithm feeds it up. But you don't go, you don't look at that. You don't like, are you on Instagram or no? No, no, no, no. I've gotten better. so I was doing the posting myself until like three months ago. And then I started like, I was like, I can't keep doing this. Like this is too, too much.
57:45So I hired an assistant and now she posts. But when I was posting, I would, you know, I would stay logged in for the first 10 minutes and just kind of get a temperature check on what people were saying. And sometimes it'd be like, oh, not another fucking celebrity. And I just, I'd be like, the reason that you receive celebrity episodes is because you watch celebrity content. I have posted 15 episodes of normal people and you're complaining about Bateman because the whole Discover page is probably Bateman. You fucking loser.
58:18Jason Stewart:It makes me so angry. And then every time you post a non-celebrity, it's like, who the fuck is this? Nobody. Yeah, they'll be like, oh, nah, you shouldn't have normal people. It's just whatever. I don't really care. It's not real haters and it's such a small amount. It's not even a vocal minority. It's just like a couple people that I like to go to war with every once in a while. I just, the way that people feel ownership over something that they have no say in and no financial contribution to is pretty unbelievable. And I think it's a symptom that really exists because of the internet and did not exist before.
58:55Yeah. Like maybe with music, people felt like, you know what I mean? People feel like an ownership over it.
58:59Jason Stewart:Because we spend most of our lives alone in bed with our phone. And instead of sharing your thoughts with your friend group or family or church or whatever, whoever you're hanging out with, all I got is my Instagram comment box. And that's who I'm going to talk to today. And then maybe 17 people will like it. And I won't kill myself today. Pray for Kareem. Subway takes. Available everywhere you stream. Pray for Kareem. But what, so Charlize Theron was kind of getting saucy with you though, low key. because I know you try to keep it PG. I do try to keep it PG. I feel like Charlize was saying...
59:33Did you guys kick it after? No, she was not a guest they kicked it with afterwards. She was one of those people where it's like, you know, you already know. Like, it's not, there's no exchange of information. There's no, like, we should get together. Even if there was a vibe,
59:49Jason Stewart:you didn't exchange it? Yeah, that's not happening. I mean, she's so like, she's just levels above me. I'm a merely a peasant. How many people from her team were on the train? I think it was like four or five. We had hair and makeup. We had assistants. Someone's got to catch those flyaways. We had security. We probably had PR person. What's she promoting? I don't want to ask. It's not about what they're promoting, Chris. Thanks, guys. I know that, but usually that information comes across from one of the 40 emails you're on before it happens. Chris, the answer is the survival action thriller apex which premiered on netflix april 24th thank you jason thank you thank you very much i appreciate that well no i get there i'm sure you that i receive so many emails like most of the time if there's not a direct question i hit archive like i just archive archive archive archive if unless it's like kareem at somebody has to at kareem me and say what do you think about this specific thing then i sure if there's if i'm just on an email and people are emailing then i'm just archiving the minute it comes well how big is that how big is the kareem team right now how many people we got on the kareem team staff well there's like three managers why do you have three man why do you get three managers that's how it works now that's like it's you mean the hollywood the hollywood like they do the the different no they're all at the same company but the way it works now i believe i believe it's like this is you have like an agent or whatever but you really have a team that's why everyone's like oh my team and it's because back in the hollywood days if like if if you're tom cruise's agent and tom cruise said i'm i'm leaving the agency then all of a sudden the company suffers but now or like if the agent sorry if the agent leaves then the whole yeah so now they're like oh so you've got you know you've got chris chasen and green working for you so if if if jason leaves i'm gonna stay and they're not gonna lose the business this is why i keep a diverse portfolio in case one of my investments takes a shit due to whatever you know i still got my whatever going on over there it's smart apex but then it ruins the whole relationship of the hollywood agency business you have three you have three managers i have three-ish managers three-ish i'd say a publicist a publicist that i just hired to do my legendary historic press where does the publicist work covert creative his name is lewis k and he's a legend congratulations lewis you did a great job he did a fucking fantastic he did a great job luckily he wasn't involved in this but he did do a good job he did a legendary job covert creative covert spelled with a k that's crazy it's just covert with a k that's crazy all right interesting all right so you have all right we're 14 members right now please continue and then andrew like produces subway takes hot tall asian down yeah my guy and then and then adam produces keep the meter running oh okay and then there are like you know trickle down there's like shooters and editors and there's a whole fucking thing there's a whole apparatus that's what i'm saying i need an estimate on total employee i need total i need total we're looking at 15 but there's a lot of freelancers chris all of everyone's a freelancer with the exception of my assistant yeah and then uh but yeah it's probably like 12 to 15 people okay are they coming to the kareem world headquarters no or you is you're in there solo adam will come sometimes andrew will come sometimes the assistant will come sometimes just imagine how rich you would be if you just nutted up and did all this shit yourself and didn't pay fucking 15 people it'd be so sick i would dude i would be so rich i really would but i can't hold i can't hold my own cameras or like stick them to the train yeah you can and actually i like i like i like being a a job creator okay all right relax bro i was just driving yesterday um in hollywood and i saw a poster there's a new film fallout which i think is a movie based on a video game or whatever but on the poster it was boldly advertising this film was shot in california and i think that's we're weeks away maybe from from films and tv being advertised as made without artificial intelligence because like people don't do they don't spend money on things that they want they spend money on things that they think they should be doing or like is our virtuous acts or it's the right thing to do you don't want to hang out with your family but you do it because it's probably the right thing to do you know what i mean kareem so you know i think it's good that you're doing that and maybe put a little logo on it you know filmed by real humans and it filmed by real americans in america it's like when apple put designed in california you guys should also do a disclaimer at the disclaimer at the top of the pot yeah look made in usa is something i'm gonna die on so you have it on hanover don't you yeah we do we have we have the flag on the tag so we care we care i like the hoodie by the way i have a hoodie oh thank you and i have the long sleeve T.
1:04:52Long Sleeve T is one of my favorite. But yeah, I think that the Made in California on a Netflix billboard, that's definitely going to happen. We're going to see that a lot more. I think that's going to be like - I think that's going to help. Yeah. I think that's going to help.
1:05:05Jason Stewart:Because it's going to make, because people are like, how do I save this industry? How do I know which films to go invest my money in and get the box office up on? Which ones are slop and which ones are not? It's a good distinction. And How Long Gone uses no AI, just to let you guys know. Is that true? What am I going to use AI for? I don't know. You use AI all day long every day. I assumed it trickled in here. Does Jason use AI every single day? Bro, Jason's the AI king, bro. He's like, you might as well call him Claude the way he uses AI. I mean, I use it to ask questions. I'm not using it to create things out of thin air.
1:05:43Wait, what kind of questions? I asked my AI something today. I said, where do I rent a brush dog in Connecticut? See, there you go. That's a great use. That's a great use. I asked earlier where I could get my laundry done, fluff and fold in Beverly Hills. So look, I'm not above it either. I'm not above it either. Now, I have a question though. When do you decide to use AI versus the just Google search?
1:06:06Jason Stewart:Yeah, people are upset because when you ask ChatGPT a question, it gives you an answer. And the more you use it, the more it kind of knows you and knows your flavor and what you're interested and what you're looking for. And every time you ask, you know, you Google something, there's like 11 ,000 ads for sub I or whatever you just googled or whatever you looked on in the real real you know three pages of just nonsense and then you get a reddit thread where somebody might be answering the question you're looking for it's cooked it's cooked it's done I mean I don't I try not to ask anybody questions just kind of use my own brain but sometimes that doesn't work fellows fellows is it gay to ask another man a question It's what we do for a living.
1:06:48I phone a friend every time. That's what I'm saying. I don't use Google or ChatGPT. I ask a human being every time.
1:06:53Jason Stewart:Oh, okay. Your network is your net worth, Fax. It's kind of like AI, but it's people. Yeah. It's just intelligence. Yeah, drop the A. It's cleaner. It's cleaner. We have a friend, David Cho, who in our group chat will - I know David Cho. I'm saying in the group chat, he's always asking me questions that are just the easiest things to search on the internet and it may i'm like bro just search the internet like why are you asking me what like he's trying to create a discourse like if i if i say hey this is kareem rama and he's like who is that instead of just looking it up do you know i'm like dude just look it up like why do you want me to explain it when there's probably a better explanation out there at your fingertips maybe he just doesn't want to use the precious resource of water but no i'm not no i'm not saying i'm not i think these questions are not are not necessary the ai does not need to be used.
1:07:43These are questions that are classic Google simple answers. These are not like complex build me a workout plan for a 65 year old man. It's not like that.
1:07:53Jason Stewart:I used to do that all the time with that website. Let me Google that for you. I would do that all. It was a classic one. I still do it to Cho every once in a while. That was a great website. That was nice. That was a nice little slap in the face. While we have you, what Drake song were you listening to on the way to Connecticut, bro? My bruv? I haven't listened to any of the 100 songs that have recently been released. Not even Habibi? Not Habibi. You haven't listened to Habibi? Not fucking... What is? Janice STFU. Janice STFU, unfortunately, is an all-time classic smash. It's unbelievable. Is it a banger?
1:08:23Unbelievable.
1:08:24Jason Stewart:The club record got an 8.0 on Pitchfork today I saw, where Iceman got more of a 4.7, 4.6. So what are the albums? There's a Habibsi? It's a Habibsi, no? Not Habibi. It's Habibsi, which is the women's version. That's because he's trying to fuck the masked-up chicks. He likes that shit. He likes that shit. mask habibiti mask that was the first time i've heard it described as he likes a little burka bop house i'm so serious he like he like he wants to take them he wants to take that burka off we're private we're private yeah yeah nothing wrong with it there's habibti there's ice man and there's club kid club dance the club one's called made of honor but ice man's like hip-hop and made of honor is like club music i don't know what habibti i don't know what that is i haven't really given in a shot have you guys been listening to those records i've listened to janice stfu about a thousand times because it's so also it's hard it goes hard we had we had bro we had a juicy jay tweeting the like blow on me like some green tea baby people in the streets are talking because it is it's a licky lee melody like she had to sign off on it it's the it's the
1:09:32that's why it's so popular because that's an all time earworm as they say in the biz it's not a sample he just recreated the melody exactly with different words
1:09:43Jason Stewart:interpolation they call it in the biz the same way Maid of Honor is interpolating the title of the 2008 film Maid of Honor but it's spelled Canadian style with a U, Kareem. Oh, on or. It is. On or. That's an interesting choice. And made is of course spelled M-A-D-E M.A.E.E.E. Is this real? In the Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. That would be sick. No, it's spelled made, not M-A-I-D. I thought you were referencing the Madden Brothers Corporation, but you're saying okay, I got it. It's a triple entendre in the style of Drake. In the style of Drake it's a triple entendre. but yeah Kareem when are you going back to the city how long are you going to be out how long do you think you're going to spend in Connecticut what's the time split this is a long because I'm recovering from the legendary historic press tour that I went on did you do coke or anything what did you do that night of course just a little dab so we're recovering from the girls tour from the world tour up in Connecticut It was just a little dab, though.
1:10:54It wasn't anything intense. Just a little dab of dab. A little dab of gambling? Just a little dab. And then, so now I'm relaxing. Are we up? Are we up or are we down? I mean, I deleted Kalshi. Really? I had to delete it.
1:11:08Jason Stewart:What bet was the straw that broke the camel's back, my friend? Oscars really fucked me up. Really? Oscars? Yeah, because I got really cocky. because I put like early, early, like three months before the Oscars, I was like Michael B. Jordan, best actor for sure. The odds were like 2%. And I think I put in like$500 and then that turned into like three racks. But then while the Oscars were going, I was like, I know a lot about all of this. So I took all that three racks plus some and made a big spread. And let's just say that I lost it all. I didn't win any bets. And it was because I was doing it while the Oscars, like an hour before, I'm like, bang, bang, bang, bang.
1:11:51Jason Stewart:Okay. And then I was like, I gotta delete. And then before that, I was doing Bad Bunny at the Super Bowl. Who is he gonna bring out? What song is he gonna play first? What song is he gonna play fifth? What is he gonna end with? What's he gonna wear? I was betting on all those. And I lost every single one of those bets. So I was like, you know what? I think that this is not a good habit to build. I'm sorry. to delete that. Sorry you had to learn your lesson the hard way, but that's a, it's positive. It's just so exciting. It makes life fun. I think it's so, that's like darker to me than like 99 % of things that people consider dark.
1:12:29Jason Stewart:But you have to use, you have to use crypto though, right? No, no, you use real money just like from the Visa, just pulls it out of the Visa card. I mean, it's really... From the Visa. From the Visa. Don't worry, they'll take the money right out of your Visa. Yeah, I feel like you get to a point where you're at the stoplight and you're betting on when it's going to change and it's just like what do we do what do we do here bro this is we're doing cocaine is what we're doing we're betting the high card at 6 a.m i think it might be the worst thing to happen to american society in a long time like we don't talk about how bad it is because i think there are a lot of people that are doing what i do and can't afford that like bosses yeah and also it's just and also i you know i sent my first Cease and business doubt.
1:13:10I think it was Calci or Polymarket. But one of them ran ads in the subway that said, will the subway takes guy agree or disagree more in 2026? Without my permission, I was not involved. So I had to hit it. Subway takes guy. First C &B. Do you own the trademark to subway takes guy though? Of course. Or you just embody it? No, I own the trademark to subway takes. Did you get any bread or did they just stop? you didn't know you didn't get any bread no no i just said you must stop using this i had to pay i lost money again i spent two thousand dollars to send a c and i would have told them i would told them keep using it just break me off i'll let you keep doing it for 25 but i it's because i'm afraid of getting my kneecaps broken because somebody could kidnap me and say you better fucking disagree i have i have a hundred racks that's what's scary about athletes because like if it's like if you don't want yeah lebron to win you can make sure he doesn't win by breaking his ankle then he can't play anymore and then you win the bet and lebron i mean that's gonna happen soon because he's so fucking old so it's gonna happen to it's gonna happen to some athlete where it's like or or anyone i mean it's just like it's scary because you like i was like okay if somebody puts 100k down and they're like they're like they were like i'm gonna win a million dollars and i need you to lose or I need you to disagree more, they could intimidate and shoot me or cut me.
1:14:35Jason Stewart:I never thought about this, but this is a good idea, Kareem. You just created 100 ,000 Tony Sopranos. Let's get lunch, Kareem. Let's get lunch soon. I got some stuff I want to talk to you about. Business stuff I'd like to discuss. When we have lunch, I'm going to put my hand over your shoulder, but it's going to grab your neck a little harder than you were hoping. Just a little nudge. I just got some ideas. All right, Kareem, thank you for joining us as always. A How Long Gone Favorite. Thank you guys. You're the best. Keep the meter running. Subway takes. The new Bourdain is right in front of us.
1:15:07I don't know.
1:15:08Jason Stewart:When are you going to start getting a little food into the mix? Those are big shoes to fill. Those are big shoes to fill. You're never going to fill them, but get a little food in the mix. We'll see what happens. There's food in the mix. The episode, the Russian banya. You didn't make, I guess you didn't finish it. No, there was food. I saw you eat the herring. We be eating. You ate the herring. you at the blini. Herring's disgusting. Herring's disgusting. I wouldn't do that even if I was on fucking your television show. I've tried to have herring. It's tough. Every Wednesday, new episodes every Wednesday.
1:15:37Every Wednesday. All right. Forever. No, for 10 more weeks. We had 10 more. 10 more eps.
1:15:45Jason Stewart:You filmed them all already though, in the can? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did it TV style. They're all done. God bless, bro. Okay. A lot of fucking more. Congrats, congrats. We are looking forward to season two if we get picked up by Hulu or whoever it is and maybe a little Howl Long Gone cameo season two. What do you think? That would be nice. You could take me to that Armenian joint that we went to in Glendale. Yes, brother. That place was good. I'm still thinking about that. I'll give you eight glugs of fucking... You ain't gonna get that out. You ain't gonna get that out in Connecticut, big bro.
1:16:16You better bring your own kebab. You know what I'm saying? I'll bring my own stick. You always got the stick. Later, bro. We'll see you soon. All right, players. Thank you so much. Do you remember there was a time where people on the street were walking hand in hand in hand? They used to talk about the weather, make it mess together, days would last forever.
1:16:51Jason Stewart:Legally, we can't say drinking Storm makes you smarter and more focused. But with zero sugar, 200 milligrams of caffeine, and immunity support, you're smarter and more focused for drinking Storm. Storm. Good energy in, good energy out. Energy for life.
From the publisher
Our friend Kareem Rahma from Subway Takes and his new show, Keep the Meter Running, returns to chat about Alcaraz and Sinner’s love triangle, Elordi skipping Cannes to hit Hawaii with Kendall, pitching a Sandlot remake starring Jake Shane, Middle Eastern real estate developments, his new country home in Connecticut, influencer furniture, never investing in yourself, a guy’s-trip Venmo request, his whirlwind press tour, how sometimes people pay to be on the show, weed-whacking, rebranding A.I., Drake’s club record rating quite high, and some deeper details of his new show.
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