948. - Chris & Jason

26:20Jason Stewart:It's like a two dimensional thing. like when you see a photo of Hawaii where there's no shadows for like 10 seconds out of the day and everything looks like a NBA 2016 video game. Anyway, I think you would have to take a Zan, take half a Zan to go just hang out with Travis Kelsey courtside. If I got a two and a half hour, let's say two and a half hour front row at the Knicks game, I've put on a fit. The hair and makeup team has left. Travis is wearing a flat build snapback. He's wearing a Don C fucking snapback. He's got a Mitchell and Ness, and it's the kind of burgundy red cap with a white snakeskin.

27:01That's a Don C ripoff then. Don C is the OG of the snakeskin build. Give it up for Don C. Ben Edgar, I know you're listening. Give it up to Don C.

27:09Jason Stewart:This could be a piece from the C collection. Who knows? Because he's wearing the hat backwards. So in all the photos, the only thing I can see is those two special words, Mitchell and Ness. shout out to michelle and ness that's the og all my jerseys are michelle and ness you know that jason we don't fuck with no fakes none of that fanatic bullshit right oh no no we ain't we ain't with michael rubin and the food micro plastics in there gotta be something we ain't doing all that we are not doing all that um but yeah i i thought it was i finally found the hat it's an interesting it's an interesting those two i just it's something special every time they appear you know and it's nice it's tough because at a at a at a game all eyes on you obviously you know people are excited about the game, but when there's celebrities at this level in the front row, they can't relax.

27:54All eyes are on them, truly. Like, oh sure, you know, whatever. Other celebrities are there, but you know, Joe Budden and Ish and, you know, fucking Fat Joe and Jada Kitt aren't getting the same eyeballs, let's say. Jason Bateman is not even getting the same eyeballs as Kelsey and Taylor Swift. So there's nowhere to hide is what I'm trying to say.

28:15Jason Stewart:And also, the Knicks haven't got this far into the finals or the playoff season in some time. So these, like you said, the Ja Rule's and the Juel Santana's of the world, they'll buy a little$3 ,000,$7 ,000 ticket, a nice little game. But I saw the floor seats for the finals that have not started yet. I think each seat's tickets. First two seats on StubHub have sold for$279 ,000. Kiss had a good year, but I don't know if he's going to buy a$280 ,000 ticket. The juice bar in Bed-Stuy ain't, ain't, the dividends, the dividends ain't that good. The dividends. Out of the red. Okay, so the hat that Travis Kelsey was wearing was a Cleveland Cavaliers snakeskin build cap to pair with the stonewashed Louis Vuitton denim short sleeve shirt.

29:12That shirt is, that shirt is, bro, I wouldn't, I wouldn't use that as a sweat rag. That shirt, I wouldn't clean. I wouldn't fucking check my oil with that shirt.

29:21Jason Stewart:It's almost as if somebody, the designer at Louis Vuitton was like, all right, and now I need to make a shirt for Travis Kelsey. And only Travis Kelsey, just only Travis in mind. And then they only make one and they sell it to Travis. And that's just what happens. It's part of the deal. It's a one of one. It's an exclusive. It's like when you talk about the tennis rackets. Yeah, the pro model versus the. Look regular, but it got different guts inside. Yeah, yeah. What's going on with Pratt, bro? Because, look, I was in L.A. for like a full week. Saw a lot of Spencer Pratt for mayor yard signs.

29:58I saw a lot of interesting people in our kind of zone supporting him versus not supporting him. It feels like.

30:07Jason Stewart:In our kind of zone. Well, it's always funny when you see who supports someone like this who's like obviously a dumbass. but like you know i i i get that he represents quote-unquote change to some people and if if he's running simply on the basis of um my house burned down and i hate homeless people that that's a you can get a lot of votes that way you know like that that's unfortunately that's you can get a lot of votes that way and i said this to you and i might have said on the podcast i might have said it when we were hanging out irl but in some ways a reality star mayor is sort of what la deserves because you have birthed these monsters and now they have come to roost.

30:46And how can you deny them their rightful place?

30:49Jason Stewart:No, no, no. It all does make sense. And it is truly a Sophie's choice of who to pick between these three candidates in Los Angeles. I don't know if anyone in their right mind believes that Spencer Pratt will be a great politician. But when you compare the other two people who can't really form sentences, or they don't have a platform to argue and spencer's just saying like hey my uh do you have a kid who lives in los angeles and do you think it sucks that every day you go to drop your three-year-old off at school you know there's a guy spreading his asshole you know somewhere in front of the drop-off zone do you think that's bad and you want to stop and he's saying that and the other two people they can't even say it it's like when they try to ask dj khaled if he can say free palestine and he's like, that's how you die on the line and that's why you're going to get Spencer.

31:43My question is, why aren't these candidates going on, you know, it's like, why are they not going on No Jumper? Why aren't they going on the places? Why aren't they going, like, I need Karen Bass and Spencer Pratt on No Jumper debating the issues. You know what I mean? No Eastside rag, no LA material, none of this cool upper crush shit. I want them. It's Karen Bass,

32:02Jason Stewart:1-900 Rugrat and I want them at the whole lot of cough syrup store on Melrose fucking having it out because this is they're not actually getting to the they're not get the people I don't feel like they're touching the people you know what I mean I don't feel like they're touching the people it's all still Spencer is Spencer had a barbecue in South Central like three days ago wow okay did you him posted up at the cookout just building okay like that's impressive that that's that's one second pass is over at Great White having her third fucking chai. Ice chai. Actually, no, the pizza's good, but do you guys have gluten-free options, or is this the whole menu that I'm seeing right now?

32:44Jason Stewart:Nithya's doing the cauliflower crust. Spencer's over here saying, what'd you put in this mac salad, brother? Oh, goodness gracious. This is spicy. Can Heidi have a plate? I'm just kidding. She can have a plate. No, Heidi doesn't eat. Come on now. You can't. First lady of Los Angeles, the first thing you got to do is get the little shot. Come on now. Let me get a plate surgically installed into my cheekbones. I don't know how this is going to go. Karen Bass is winning considerably. She is. It'll be a debate between two people. There's three people who are in the lead and then in June, they'll do the preliminary thing and then it turns into the top two regardless of of what uh you know democrat republican or whatever so it looks like raw man is is going to be left in the dust and then by the time november comes around spencer could easily you know change those poll numbers and flip it what i do like about what i also what i do like about spencer is that his idea of of you know dressing up is he wore like a suit with vans which is the most california guy thing pop i was like you know what i respect this because this this speaks to his constituents he's dressing exactly what the people who are about to vote him into office wear when it's time to go to a dodgeball game a funeral costco whatever it is wearing all black vans old schools with a suit and thinking that that passes as a dress shoe it does is is the most california that's like you evacuated your home because of the garden grove chemical fire you that's what you wear that's what you wear to your kids graduation no no i know bro i'm saying that's what i'm saying i'm giving him prompts i'm serious that that is literally like him putting on a tie would be crazy it's like dude you can't no this is no no this is it bro you have to dress like you're going to the weenie roast that's that's california that's our that's the culture of california you have to respect that I like it.

34:54I think it's cool. I want him to lose, obviously, because he's dumb as a rock, but I think that also, to be fair, I want to be honest. We were approached by having Spencer Proud on this podcast. Of course, I did my best effort and they just said maybe not this time, after they approached me. So I want to be clear about that. I would not. I would, of course, give him a platform to speak, much like Zoran Mamdani, who we gave a platform to speak, and he rescheduled and chose to do some other podcasts instead. You know what that says to me, Jason? You know what that says to me? Scared.

35:26Jason Stewart:Yeah, afraid of being asked the tough questions. Exactly. Taking the easy way out. Yeah, you want to take the easy way out. You don't want to answer any of these hard questions. You don't want to go toe-to-toe with real political pundits. You know what I mean? You'll go on CNN. You'll go on MSNBC. You'll go talk to Sam Fragoso or whatever. Charlie Rose. You don't want to come on How Long Gone and talk about, you know, what they're selling at your local grocery store. You know what I mean? I find it really interesting. The price of indica is too damn high. Yeah, these politicians are scared of us.

35:55We want to talk to Spencer Pratt about how many pull-ups he can do, and he's running scared. And I just think that's it. You know where they don't ask the hard questions, Jason? At the barbecue in South Central. They're not asking any hard questions over there.

36:06Jason Stewart:They ask questions like, did you eat? How's parking? They're asking questions like, who is this? What time is the game on? Is it 5? Is it Pacific time or it's 5? The hardest line of questioning. has definitely happened over there. But I also want to talk about Stephen Colbert, RIP. His reign of terror is finally over. And I saw some interesting facts going on online, which was pretty, honestly, this is stuff I kind of know, but I think when I'm seeing it laid out, the budget for the late show with Stephen Colbert was$100 million per year. It had a full-time staff of 200 people and was reaching only 2.7 million viewers on average, on average, an average night.

36:49during the final quarter on there. So$100 million per year. Colbert was the most watched late-night host. Jimmy Kimmel has a linear audience of$2 million, while Jimmy Fallon draws by$1.3 million. Jon Stewart on The Daily Show reaches$900 ,000 to$1 million, which more than doubles the$400K that watched when Trevor Noah was a host. So Trevor Noah, shittiest late-night host of all time, which is an eye-opening, not total surprise. Kimmel earns$16 million. Fallon earns$16 million. Stewart makes$25 million. How does Jon Stewart with the lowest rated show make$25 million a year?

37:22Jason Stewart:I think everything was going well for a while. And then, you know, we all realized, I mean, I just looked up, you know, other TV shows with$100 million annual budget. It's an older show, but, you know, HBO's Westworld, Amazon Prime's The Boys season one was$100 million. And these are shows that are, you know, not number one in their time zone, like number one show period on television also it ain't a guy sitting in a studio did i mean this these are like giant productions i'm not i'm not here to it's not 37 neckbeards riding um i'm not here to pocket watch i'm not trying to go fucking matt bellany mode i'm not i'm just i'm just like wow when you see it lined up like that and the the actual economics of it you're like this really does not make sense and it's really tough to argue i mean the meme that the ai meme that donald trump post it is unfortunately one of the greatest things I've ever seen um so of him throwing um Colbert in the dumpster dude it's just it's so it's to go unbelievable to go back to Spencer Pratt everyone was like oh Spencer Pratt he's becoming the you know he's he's taking Trump's playbook and he's going to use that for you know the LA race not for the country so he he's in trump's nachos in terms of the style of it and then he's like oh he's making ai videos and images the way trump is doing it and now i think that spencer has become the ai video person like that's how he's truly gonna win is because he makes dope videos that are fun to watch with awesome soundtracks that just really hit you and i think trump is like fuck i gotta start stepping my game up because spencer's on my tail so i think trump is being influenced by spencer already and we're months away from him even, you know, knowing if he's going to make it in an office.

39:17This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by a new podcast from The Guardian, Stateside with Kai and Carter. This is covering a lot of our bases, Jason. It's trying to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions.

39:35Jason Stewart:A lot of questions, but how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire owned platform. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah. Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen, wherever you get your podcast, you can watch it on YouTube.

40:06It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? Especially especially when it's when it's not you know from here let's say give it give it a listen give it a listen all right this episode of how long gone is brought to you by rocket money uh i know we got a lot of listeners jason that are pocket checkers you know what i mean they're looking at our pockets looking at their pockets looking at their homies pockets everybody wants more money and rocket money is the service you need to make sure you're not wasting it on these pesky subscriptions that you don't need or use. We got to track this stuff, Jason.

40:40There's some unwanted shit out there. And Rocket Money has been able to save users over$880 million in canceled subscriptions. That's a lot of bread.

40:48Jason Stewart:Yeah, as you get older and more financially wise, you'll learn that it's not about making the money. It's not worrying about all the money that's coming in. How's it going to come in? It's about taking away. It's about editing. We were just doing a podcast with a guest. He's making a lot of money, but a lot of that money is going out. He's not rich. needs to be rich. What Rocket Money does, they'll go through, they'll find all those unwanted subscriptions and weird little apps that you signed up for. You're saving on average over $70 within the first month and they've saved over$880 million total in canceled subscriptions.

41:26Jason Stewart:At the end of the year, that will add up into something nice, maybe a little down payment on a new car, a little trip to the Maldives, or a gently used Birkin bag. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitor spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let Rocket Money help you reach those financial goals faster. Join us at rocketmoney.com slash howlong. That's rocketmoney.com slash howlong. rocketmoney.com slash howlong. Hello, listeners. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. You already know the vibes.

42:02If you're out there living your life in 2026, something you're going to need is a damn website. You might think you can skip it. Oh, we'll just hyperlink to Instagram. Oh, no, I have a Snapchat. I have a Twitter. Wrong. We need to put this shit under one umbrella. And thank God Squarespace is here, Jason, because it can make that process very easy for you to house them genes industries all in one place.

42:24Jason Stewart:Yeah, having it all in one place is really the life hack, the key to success. We already have too many passwords and websites and logins to manage. Is it them genes? Is it my email? What's your pet's first name? I don't have time for this BS. What I need is some cutting edge design, some SEO tools that actually work for directing people to where I want them to go. My website that shows all my cool stuff. Maybe it's my portfolio of work, my artwork, my feet pics, whatever it is, go there. Don't just Google me and then look at some photo of me when I was fat. Go directly to where you want these people to go.

43:04Jason Stewart:And you could do a nice little email campaign with that network of people. You can sell content. You could raise donations if you're doing something really cutting edge. And you need those analytics so you could show the people, hey man, here's how many people are visiting my site. here's how much money they make here's how sexy they are and that's how you start making the big books go to squarespace.com slash how long for a free trial and when you're ready to launch use offer code how long to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or a domain the late night battle i don't think it was won by by donald trump i think it was uh i think it was the people giving the answer and that's what i think that's what's so funny is that like it has nothing to do with outrage has nothing to do it's people just don't watch it because they don't give a shit and i think that's what and you can chalk that up to a million different reasons of course like whoa tick tock streaming bob you know whatever but i mean to make those guys losing corporations millions of dollars into a cause is very strange to me because i think it's like it's easy to blame the president because he's an idiot he's a villain he's loud about it but like i'm pretty sure it's a numbers issue.

44:17I don't think that it's, I think we can make anything political we want to, but it sounds to me like you're losing us so much money and there's no upside at a certain point. We are a business. And I know that everybody that listens to this podcast hates businesses and wants them all to fail. But you know, sometimes, sometimes you gotta, you gotta let people do the work and keep the lights on their house. It doesn't make sense to me.

44:39Jason Stewart:When we had the, and it, and it sucks for all these people who thought that this was going to be a viable career option for them, where they can just go get hired by a TV show and work there. But then you're like, oh, I'm on a show. And, you know, it's an Apple show or it's an Amazon show. These shows that are owned by, you know, the richest people in the world, the biggest companies in the world. And you go and you're like, damn, I finally made it. And the writer's room is Trader Joe's Snacks. And, you know, we ain't got the spin drift anymore. We got, you know, it's just, you know, the working conditions are better on the fucking Adam Friedland show or whatever than they are for, you know a television show that's on a network that's worth tens of billions of dollars i mean we both grew up watching late night to some extent you know what i mean or at least that you know it was it was still a thing that made news and now the only news it makes is when you know jimmy kimmel's crying about something or stephen colbert's making me uncomfortable dancing with david byrne and the lamest possible display that one could ever see and i'm just like man what about if you just came out and were funny like i don't know i just i'm like if you just come out and tell a good monologue and you have guests and the musical guest is good like i don't know that if that doesn't work then maybe maybe we're in trouble because that to me is a is a great the way that is supposed to work is great and did for a really long time yeah you know it did it worked forever yeah but i mean everything kind of comes and goes and you know it's like a like a car that's a stick you know manual transmission stick shift car at some point when they're like oh we're not going to sell those anymore and we're not going to use those anymore when we were kids in the 80s and 90s when they phased them out, it seems like an insane thought at the time.

46:18Jason Stewart:But now you're like, yeah, why would you ever drive a manual transmission when you can just do it this way? Why would you ever hire 3 ,000 people to make a TV show that gets less reviews, makes less money than Fire Denver or whatever it is that they just shit out? But Denver fire is what's paying the salaries of all these guys to write little quips about the White House speaker's outfit or something like that. At a certain point, they're like, well, fucking Hassan Piker is over here getting more eyeballs than Stephen Colbert. And it's just him turning a button on in his bedroom and hanging out with his dog and a porn star.

47:03I mean, nothing I'd rather do more than watch Hassan Piker scroll the Essence sale for two hours. I'd rather watch that than... No, I mean, I do think it's...

47:12Jason Stewart:I'd like to see what Trump thinks about Hassan Piker once he gets a good look at those thunderous thighs because maybe he would reverse the federal subpoena that was thrown on Big Pike. The problem is Hassan Piker's Issey Miyake shorts don't grip quite as tight as Jackson's. That's the problem. Hassan's wearing quote unquote big shorts, which are popular this summer. You know, very popular this summer. Hassan's on the red carpet dressed like Ray. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Definitely. Definitely. Hassan Piker is definitely in Naomi Osaka's fucking plate in terms of wardrobe. Oh, 100%. There's nothing worse than a man in a big pair of fucking shorts.

47:52I know it's a thing.

47:52Jason Stewart:They need to do a reverse queer eye on Hassan Piker. They need like seven gay guys to go into his closet and be like, okay, we have to throw all the Vivian Westwood blouses are wet. What if you wore a T-shirt? There's a picture of him walking his dog and he's wearing like white vans and regular shorts and a Carhartt long sleeve shirt. And people are like, oh my God, this is it. Exactly. I'm like, yeah, dude, he can look straight if he wants to. He just wants to wear a little jewelry all the time. I don't know. Cause I went to Seco in Silver Lake because my friend John Sunder was visiting from London.

48:26He was staying down the street and he could walk there and you and I, we were going to quarter sheets after. So it was like it made sense to meet him there.

48:33Jason Stewart:Nice, great little east side bang bang. He had a few pints. I had some sparkling water that the guy had to go get from the restaurant next door. But I was sitting there and I was like, all the guys that work at this place are having sex every night of the week with a different chick. They're all wearing the worst outfits I've ever seen in my life. And it made me feel older than 99 % of things make me feel. I was like, this guy's wearing George down to his knees with cowboy boots and a mullet and earrings and bracelets and jewelry and rings and little tattoos and a tank top under this. I'm like, you look so stupid, but this is what works.

49:13And at some point, I'm like, all right, man, do you. I can't hate. How can I hate? If it's working, it's working. These guys are hot, too. That's the problem. They're good looking.

49:21Jason Stewart:And they don't look like they work out, but they have the physique of somebody who does. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. These guys are not – they're not – the look feels so – I'm trying – it feels like you're having to manicure that little mustache. That doesn't grow like that. You're spending a lot of time in the mirror. But these guys are pulling. They're making money. They probably have – they're probably doing okay in their little – whatever their little side hustle. Selling vintage on the street on Sundays or whatever they do. My friend and I, we actually redo Forerunners from like 93 to 97. No, it's cool.

49:54You can take it campy. You can actually live in it. if you need to.

49:57Jason Stewart:Well, I was actually, I had a little coffee lunch chat with somebody a couple days ago, and he is also involved with a wine bar that's kind of, you know, in that same zone. Hipstery, Flava, young people, but you see it, you know, at the coffee shop. You know, everywhere. If I go to the coffee shop in my neighborhood, which is just, you know, Armenian guys, 7 Series Beamers fully blacked out windshield the whole thing you go into the coffee shop and every guy working there is wearing a crop top big pants they have little stick and poke tattoos they look hot as straight guys hot as gay guys their hair looks like there's like salt and stone tonic on the neck and just like they're fully done up and they've infiltrated everywhere and they operate and act as if I don't need this job because I live at home or whatever my parents pay for something.

50:56Jason Stewart:This job is just like my audition to the world. This job is my editorial. No, that's true. I'm auditioning for the next big thing. I'm going to get chose. And it's a trope that LA service workers have had for decades since before we've been alive that there's no such thing as serious servers, waiters, bartenders, whatever in LA because everyone isn't taking their job seriously because they're just, oh, I'm not a server. I'm just waiting for Michael Mann to call me to be in Heat 2. Not my guys at Commissary in Burbank. Look, all those guys are in bands. Not all of them. You're right. All those guys are in bands that sound like Blink-182, but somehow they're nice and professional, and it gets served.

51:36But I know what you mean. I mean, the thing is, every time I experience one of those guys, I'm not disappointed with the service. And I don't mean sexually. I mean, like, they're, you know, like, the service. No, no, they do a good job. They're nice, normal people. Yeah, they're good at their job. They're friendly. They're relatively cool.

51:50Jason Stewart:When it's time to flip that iPad tip screen around, they don't look. They don't look at all. They don't make you feel weird at all. But it was just a funny thing where I was like, damn. And then I'm walking down the street to get back to my car, and it's just more of them everywhere. It's like a zombie apocalypse of these type of guys. And I'm like, are they going to come suck my blood and beat me up for not wearing jorts with fucking tabby loafer? Am I safe here? Like, I don't feel safe. That's the thing. They feel like they could attack me at any moment. I think what you have to do is imagine them, what's going to happen to them when they're our age.

52:23Jason Stewart:Because people might look at us at 22, tatted up, parading down the boulevard, and be like, oh, fuck. We definitely look stupid, too. I think us looking stupid in our younger days, I think the difference was we weren't. it like now everywhere I look online like there's this awful girl on Twitter that tells guys how to dress you know what I mean and it's like she's telling them to dress like that when I look at Instagram it's guys telling other guys how to dress like that when we look stupid we were just guessing with our eyes closed you know what I mean at least at least we were we were doing our best to look like some guy we'd seen in heart attack you know what I mean it wasn't like it wasn't it wasn't like it was some like corny girl in Austin being like you know what you can actually do this for cheaper at Everlane or whatever it is.

53:12It doesn't, it doesn't, it's not like, that's the difference. It feels like a real choice and it's a beast that's feeding itself where I feel like we were just, we were making mistakes, but at least we were just fucking, you know, sticking our hand in the closet in the dark and trying.

53:26Jason Stewart:Yeah, and I guess back then it was very, you know, people were a lot more afraid of quote unquote looking too gay. True. We had the metrosexual, you know, which was sometimes used as a derogatory term, sometimes not. I think now everyone is sort of, since they are all auditioning for the role of their lifetime, they can't afford to not try and appeal to every demographic possible. So that's why everyone is just everything and nothing and all good. And I don't want to say anything bad about someone or do something that somebody could take a picture of me and ruin my career as the host of a singing competition.

54:11I just was, I mean, it was unbelievable. Really, it was. It was unbelievable. But I was able to make it out alive and no one jumped me for wearing Sambas or whatever. I was able to bob and weave as it were.

54:28Jason Stewart:And these are people who, they also have the energy or the attitude that you know in addition to this not being a job that they want to do or care about because their their band is about to get signed to dirty hit it's more so like like oh like i'm here to like do you guys a favor by look by looking this way yeah like don't really expect me to actually do the work i'm i'm not like i'm not like a dishwasher or anything like that and and don't get mad if i smoke or vape on the job kind of thing or if somebody's like what's good here and you're like dude I like the I like this one. I like this small plate.

55:09Which sardine is actually good? Is there one of these that is more filling?

55:14Jason Stewart:But then you go to New York over to Le Vaudor and you get a career server that just makes you feel like a small child nuzzling into their mother's teat for the first time. I mean it is a pretty major difference I would say. I mean And, you know, that being said, I'm not in L.A. I'm going to places where the service is Air One, you know, so it's like whatever. It doesn't really matter. It doesn't really matter to me. The only service you do at Air One is yell at a guy to not give you$87 worth of kale. Less short ribs. Less short ribs. Yeah, that's it. That's my only that's my only battle. Look, I've been in I've been front row.

55:49We talked about this a little bit. We were at dinner with Fred, but that trip that satisfy Adidas trip I went on to Arizona has become like this insane hotbed of arguing in running culture. It's torn the community apart, dude. Which is funny to me because as not a member of running culture, I was just sort of like, oh, I don't know. I had fun, whatever. But it's been this whole thing about like authenticity and how brands show up and this and that and this and that. And I'm just like, unfortunately, it's a classic nerds get a life situation.

56:21Jason Stewart:well i think this comes for every sport where there's the rise of it where suddenly you know some corporate money decides to to jump into it it's ironic because running is the oldest sport in the world it's not like oh fuck here comes the seven up money trying to fuck up you know inline skating vert or whatever it's you know these are this is an established thing so it is it's strange to have like bro you can't take running from us and like like running is punk like you got to keep it like running has been around for so long well it's not even they're not mad at adidas they're mad they're like this is stupid and this is not punk or whatever you know what i mean and i'm like the branding of it all i'm like look the circle pit is not a good name i don't love that but i do think that the the guy look the guys that i know that work at satisfy are heads that were at the same shows you and i were at but in europe and i'm like dude what What's the guy's...

57:18How does he prove to you that he saw Earth Crisis in 97? And then I'm realizing that you don't know who that is. I don't think the people that are mad about this even understand what they're mad about, kind of. Speed, listeners. I'm like, what does authentic really mean? If this is his culture and he's paying drain and one step closer, more than they usually get paid to play a show, that's pretty cool to me. I got the answer. I mean, I don't know.

57:41Jason Stewart:I got the answer. Because this type of thing has been happening for a long time. for decades you know somebody who works at a brand or a magazine has the cool like underground rapper or the punk thing perform this thing and get him a little bag and it's cool and maybe you'll see like a little video of it on someone's you know vlog some cool pics from it and and that's why it worked i think the problem is once you have kpis and deliverables and things that a a producer person has decided that yes if i'm going to spend this much money on this i need to have this much of a you know my roi has to be aring but you're so but i agree with this so this event would have been great if it was just happening but once you like yeah once you have a drone once you have a strategy for the clip rollout times and like the drone shot's going to be here and now we're going to have this interview where it's like dude what's your favorite top five but Once that happens, then you start hearing high-pitched noises in your brain if you're cool.

58:42But that to me is like, I don't know, dude. That's like the world we live in. I don't know. That's what everything is. I think that's the thing. If you don't go to shit like this, to me, it's like I don't care what the rollout looks like. If the band got paid and they normally wouldn't get paid that much and they were treated well, I don't know. Who am I to fucking say?

59:04Jason Stewart:I think that, you know, you don't want your little thing that you know about, you know, my cool underground hardcore band that only gets this many views a month and this many things and this running band brand that I use to separate myself from my friends who are not cool. as soon as social media you know ad by algorithms push that into everyone's face now this cool thing that you love and protect is now known by everyone and you just lash out you're like oh this is bullshit now my fucking dorky cousin knows about this the way but it's it's the now i have to find a new independent running brand sorry there's like a guy who's like dedicated to making memes about it like that's all like he has in his hand it's only about this which is funny and it's and some of them are really funny but it becomes to a point where i'm like are you got like they're reaching a psychosis level you know what i mean where it's like dude it's not that serious like it's an adidas collaboration they did this thing they had some punk bands play sure maybe some of it was corny maybe you didn't like it or whatever but the way that people are mad is like something's different it's something weird it's like when when like a news thing comes out and back in the day they do like one of those youtube things where they make it an auto-tune song you're like this motherfuckers spent like two weeks making this like what maybe we need a job maybe we need different parties we hate on things all we do is hate on things and i see how you could think this is corny or say it's corny or whatever but after like a week of like discourse it's like dude what are we talking about like what are we like dude who you either there you weren't you liked it or you didn't like you can't let this is keeping somebody up at night right like you got to run 100 miles this week bro you need your rest you know what i mean you can't be doing this you can't be doing this bro we gotta we gotta move on i'm just a little honestly i was like shocked because i mean i was like oh some of this is not for me but like i was there and it was fun and everybody's cool like it wasn't like big of a deal to me but also i guess i understand i don't know i at least understand hardcore and what was happening as far as that goes but like that's not the issue the issue is people like this is so corny this is the worst thing i've ever seen and it's like oh you've never been to a brand activation you know what i mean because if you think this is if you think this is bad, then you should really check out some stuff that happens every single day.

1:01:14Jason Stewart:I'm usually too ugly to be invited to those things. So yeah, this is a little shock. And it's coming for, yeah, it comes for every industry. I mean, no industry is, I mean, it's like, that's what we do now. This is how brands spend money. This is how we experience things. Like it's, for better or worse, that's just where we're at culturally. Yeah. Let's do some quiet luxury versions of brand activations for these cool, interesting, emerging, independent-ish brands. We want to protect them. We don't want to - But what's interesting about this particular case, and I can't speak for everyone, but there was no, no one asked me to do anything.

1:01:47There's no story to be written. There's no picture to post. Nothing. It was just like, yeah, come hang out.

1:01:52Jason Stewart:Just like when you go to the airport, they don't even make you take your passport anymore because they're scanning you with the fucking retinal 3D shit. It's like, you own my image. That's fine. Do you need me to post anything on the, not even stories? And they're like, no, you're good. Trust me, you're good. And then you wake up the next morning, got all these shit posted on your grid. They use Claw to hack into it. get my blood type, bro. That's crazy. I didn't tell you anything about what kind of blood I got. I didn't tell you nothing about that. They're like, hey, Chris, tell your sister's kids.

1:02:17Jason Stewart:I said, what up? What the fuck? How do you even know that? Adidas? What size are your nieces? We'll get them some products. Do they still go to Shortyville Elementary? Yeah, that's what I thought so. Yeah, no, we don't need your address. We'll send everything over. Yeah, but the other thing that's breaking as of yesterday, there's a big New Yorker story about strangers um and now it's saying that you know that there's some lies or some things were omitted from the story and you know it's like he was giving her 600k year in child support when you say strangers you mean the book the book the book because i was like stranger things what you're talking about that is a hit and now you know there's a new yorker story that's saying you know he was giving her the ex-husband was giving her 600 ,000 year child support until the kids are thousand dollars just sounds just like pete davidson's chick basic but my thing with that is like i'm sure all of this is true and it is crazy the publisher didn't look into this stuff before they they did it but also like it i don't know it doesn't make the book any less good to me like i don't care like the book was so good like if some of that is untrue after i read it and enjoyed it like i don't necessarily care yeah but i think people just really love a gotcha i still enjoyed santa claus knowing now that he's not real i'm just a kid it was dope i'm just sort of like guys when people tell i don't know i'm just like if the story is good and a few things aren't right i can live with that if it was that enjoyable but i guess people aren't okay with this you know they really want everything to be perfectly factually correct in a book that's not about them you know every yeah everyone has their line of where it's too far and i i think you and i are on the same page no pun intended when you know a recounting of actual events has you know 10 to 15 percent a little zhuzh up on some of the deets if it's i mean if it makes the story better and i think some people are like 15 that's insane you know what i mean some people some people like hey i'll do i'm gonna get a little botox put on get my brows down they're like you fucking fake you fucking liar you bitch but i mean yeah i mean i think but i also think the money part because she's obviously rich and that's part of the story like she comes from a lineage but i feel like the book was more about like the abruptness that he left her and the surprise i don't the money part is is part of it but that wasn't like the crux of the book to me like that is not the that's the sexy part in some ways so it's like he left me high and fucking dry with only 600 000 a but she wasn't really i don't know i don't know maybe i'm remembering it wrong she never she didn't read the money she just never said she was destitute like that's not that wasn't the the story that was not part of the story was more like emotionally destitute exactly but i mean the story was more like i came home one day and this guy was like i'm leaving and that was it and and it was we've been together 20 years and had these kids like obviously the money plays a part in it because that the money plays a part in everything in our lives but that wasn't the to me that wasn't the main takeaway from the book no i agree and so i guess i guess bell burden's man was like you guys don't know what it's like being married to bell burden well the best last name is that name for a reason y 'all the best part about the husband there's a part where she like when they're getting divorced where she figures out how rich he is because she didn't really deal with the finances and it's fucked up it's like a lot of money it's sick she's like yeah and then i was looking at the papers it was like yo what bro you made how much money like what i didn't take care of the bills shorty sees different papers than other people yeah yeah but you don't you don't become a millionaire by spending all your money you become a millionaire by putting all of your wife's uh properties in your name exactly everybody knows that move everybody knows that move no no it's both our house we just keep it at my house no no no that's my playstation we just share it it goes back and forth like i bought that shit that's my playstation yeah you're welcome um so your your boy drake now that we've had enough time to sort of process and sift through his uh his breadth of work some lyrics are popping up that i'm people are enjoying one of them from the song goose and the juice do you know that what that means i i don't i have no idea what that is in the juice meaning is it a joe in the juice reference i hope it refers to drink oh it refers to drinking gray goose vodka to gain emotional juice aka courage and openness okay required for a late night alcohol-fueled conversation great the only kind he has okay so he's juice up on the goose and this line is quintessential drake pettiness that only a toxic gay guy like drake could say the venue that your wedding is at has some shady reviews i saw this it's so he's so he's saying that to a woman that has moved on is remarried to another man the wedding has happened and now he's saying like oh you're a little venue he's venue i saw your little venue i saw your little venue and it looked like i heard people saying it was it was crap i think it's funny i think this is great that's the botanist you went with wow this is the great this is great stuff this is why we need drake that this is hilarious this is so good because if it is true that he is like a criminal kingpin and uh you know controls a vast gang network throughout the the pacific through the the great northeast and he's saying in taking the time to make songs that are like little like club bops for the girlies where he's like talking talking shit about your girl's wedding venue like get you a man who can do everything i'm saying i'm saying Everything but look straight.

1:08:01I've seen a few. I mean, look, I got to say people, the thing where he went in the car with the dad who sings with the daughter after school every day, that touched me, man. That really, I was like, damn, this is so smart and so cool. And every comment is like, oh, hell no. I wouldn't let that pedo next to my. I'm like, you guys, you guys do not like give me a fuck. You see, he touched her arm. He touched her arm. I'm like, he touched her arm because she didn't know he was in the back seat. And he, like, what are you talking about? Like, you guys are crazy.

1:08:30Jason Stewart:What did I say in the chat? I say, you know, he got the daughter's snap after they filmed it. I mean, that's funny because I... It's so crazy. What was your snap? That's funny because you're saying it. These people are dead-ass serious. These people are dead-ass serious. Like, guys, this guy and his daughter have sung Drake songs after school for like two years. Drake showed up surprised. Do they sing the N-word too? No, they don't actually. She's good about that. He bought them a brand new Escalade. Drake's not even allowed to say it. Yeah. He brought them a brand new Escalade and showed up and did the thing with them.

1:09:02That's just funny. And he looks happy. I'm just like, guys, you got to stop, man.

1:09:07Jason Stewart:And to circle the square, let's compare that to Travis Kelsey pulling a warm, shitty beer out of his pocket and then stopping the NBA finals so everyone can look at him drink a beer. Or it's like, you know why Kendrick Lamar can't do that? Because nobody sings his songs. Because nobody's singing his songs. No kids like his music. Nobody likes his music. Nobody's singing along. So Taylor and Drake, they're sort of the same person. So in order for Drake to whatever, rehabilitate his image from being a pedophile, he needs to get himself whatever the equivalent of a Travis Kelsey is. He needs to get a dumb check.

1:09:48Jason Stewart:He needs to put a ring on Sexy Red to really endear him to the community. I don't think that's out of the question. I think we're going to look back on that pedophile thing and be like, this was one of the dumbest things. Like, that is, it's just so, it's so insane what that word means and now what people think it means and how it gets thrown around. Like, it's actually criminal what Kendrick Lamar did to that word and its meaning. Because now people don't actually know what it means. Because it's only for, like, little kids, not for, like, teens, like how Drake is into. Exactly. That's exactly what I'm trying to say.

1:10:24And I'm saying, we got this all fucked up. We got this all fucked up. I'm saying, Kendrick Lamar, but I'm saying. I think I stole that line from a book called Off Season. Nobody sings Kendrick Lamar songs. Kendrick Lamar songs don't bring anybody joy, and that's the problem. You know what I mean? That's the problem. And if they do bring them joy, it's a barbershop full of dusty old men. And that's just not. Nobody wants that.

1:10:45Jason Stewart:Nobody wants that. I just Googled. I asked who the female versions of Travis Kelsey are, you know, for somebody, for Drake to date. It's going to be a WNBA player. We got Angie Reese up top. Knew it. Knew it. Okay, we got Meg the Style. Oh, that's a pretty, but she already dated Clay, and she's out of the game. I think she's out of the game right now. He couldn't do that. Lori Harvey. Lori Harvey's dated. Lori Harvey belongs to the game, so that's very possible. Tiana Taylor. Okay, she's clean. She's divorced. Yeah, if Drake and Tiana Taylor dated, I think that would complete everything because she would cut the fuck out of him she would get him on the straight path stop fucking around imagine her abs talking to his abs oh man damn that's an ab off I don't want to have the jokes don't stop between those two yeah Drake start dating Tiana Taylor let Drake into your life and rehabilitate this broken man into the person that we need him to be it's i i could say this is not a bad idea dude this is really not a bad idea i think it's working because we're all a little annoyed by tiana taylor right now too because she she just won't stop won't stop doing everything she really does do everything but that's fine that people go through phases i'm sure it'll be quiet the shook night of awards ceremony speeches every every war show gets her um and shout out to lastly this podcaster named stephen bartlett who's going viral because he said a few glasses of wine ruined the next three days of his life and quote i got worse sleep my dopamine system was and cortisol is messed up and i podcasted worse that's why men shouldn't drink wine that happened to you the other night too remember that happened this literally happened men should not drink wine of course but also if you if your podcasting gets worse when you're hung over you're a fucking bitch that's true but men should drink what should men drink beer and vodka and tequila tequila is a little feminine in my opinion.

1:12:42Jason Stewart:I mean, look at our biggest podcast, you know, our fucking Shane Gillis's of the world, these guys podcasting, selling out stadiums. He goes on his podcast, shows a testicle shooting out of his fucking chubby shorts, and he's hungover as fuck, and he's making$3 million a week doing his fucking podcast. Hey, he's hungover from beer and shots. Yes. There is no way that Shane gillis is like oh do you have any bubbly reds do you have any he's hung over because he drank too many beers the night before when he sold out where you know a 70 000 person football stadium i'm telling you that's the problem we let men got too into this is actually something we gotta unpack we don't have time today this is a guy and this is a guy who he's letting his whoop strap control his life you guys got too much data you're drinking wine you're doing shit that men shouldn't do data is not for us honestly unless it unless it's a unless it's making you money like all this stuff i mean you heard about the guy that got caught cheating because a chick was weighing herself on his smart scale oh shit what the fuck is 127.3 that's literally that's literally what happened that's literally what happened that's literally what happened that's amazing that's what i'm saying for the smart technology this ain't for men look what it's doing to you look what it's doing to us yeah if you want to track all this shit that's the same type of person who's like oh i'm gonna get a covid test you know i really believe this and i've said this before but if you look at a sleep score and it's bad but you feel good then you decide that you feel bad because the sleep it's like that's psycho that's insane you can't live like that you cannot be tagged you cannot be like tethered to the data in that way it just seems so unhealthy to me it seems so crazy no i've when i've tracked my sleep the few times i did and it's like oh you got a really bad sleep score you wake up and you're like today is going to fucking suck yeah you don't even decide for yourself if you feel bad or not it doesn't that doesn't work for me that doesn't work makes everything you do bad so that's yeah don't look at it just keep doing drugs nobody's deciding if i'm the only one deciding if i feel like shit or not okay i'm not gonna let data influence that myself i'm not gonna which is and and we're gonna get off now and we're gonna watch the enhanced games where they're doing cool stuff but unfortunately it is a little too data driven it is so it is getting a little too brian johnson-y because we just want to see fucking roided out people and you know chicks on adderall just destroying world records that's what we want we don't want brian johnson being like oh his oxygen o2 blood cortisol levels are at 7.4 this is unprecedented i want a guy that looks like a boulder flipping over tires that's what i i I don't want to see any of that shit, dude.

1:15:26Take that oxygen.

1:15:27Jason Stewart:I'm going to see a guy fighting a car and winning. I don't want to know about it. Take that shit somewhere else, bro. Take all that data somewhere else. All right. How Long Gone. Thank you for listening. We'll be back next week with even more podcasts. Don't you worry. A new episode of How Long Gone Today is in the pipes and will be with you soon. It's going to be our eyes wide shut. I think that's it. Change the game. I think that's it, TJ. I think that's it. I get to go in the rain, get to go to a birthday dinner tonight at Mission Chinese. I'm having a big Sunday. Happy birthday, Alex. Happy birthday, Alex.

1:15:56Jason Stewart:We love you. Happy birthday, Alex. The first lady of how long? The first lady of gone? Golly. All right. I'll send over you the total of birthday spin just so we can compare. All right. Love you guys. Have fun. I'm going to watch sports and smoke some weed today. And then maybe we'll order some goop. Who knows? Have fun with your whole little thing, though. Whole little thing.

1:16:23anything. Yeah, we're walking on a runway that goes straight to hell. Nothing's gonna save us, no music, fashion, no film. Spring, summer, 26, when the world is gonna end, no hope for anything. Yeah, we're walking on a runway that goes straight to hell, I know.

1:16:48Turn it up! Storm has zero sugar and 200 milligrams of caffeine, so you can turn that workout up a notch. Good energy in, good energy out.

1:16:58Jason Stewart:Energy for life.