952. - Chris & Jason

24:05Jason Stewart:You don't have to sort of be hunched over with your tech neck. Yeah, yeah. And have a nice big display of everything that's going on. I understand all of that. I understand all of that. But yeah, I mean, obviously there's a lot of things that sounded good. You know, like I was excited when you could type horizontally on the iPhone. I was like, oh, I have a giant hand. So now that you could rotate the phone. You're like, now everything works out. And then you try to type horizontal on the iPhone and it just feels wrong. I don't know what, I guess I'm just at a certain point, obviously we're more concerned with our outward appearance than we should be.

24:39I'll take the L on that. But I don't know. What to the point, at what point are you like, yo, I know this looks crazy. I should probably not do this. Do you know what I mean? Like, is there a point where you're like, you know what? Like, I know this is a little more efficient, but like, I look like people are going to ask, it looks so crazy. People don't have to talk about it because people are going to ask me in public.

25:00Jason Stewart:I think there's nobody in their life holding them accountable. And when they are out in public, especially on a plane or something like that, it's, you know, there's, there's just. all bets are off no i know people behave i know that and i i know that but i think everyone in their life does the exact same thing so they they don't know that it's wrong they don't think that it's wrong it was unbelievable unbelievable thing to see truly damn i mean like every time i looked over both of them there was a new thing happening that i couldn't believe i was like this is unreal this is happening right now well i wish the the happy couple a great wedding it's gonna be awesome I can't wait to hear all the people both make a lot more money than us.

25:43So I don't feel that bad for them, you know?

25:45Jason Stewart:Yeah, but their, their food and their soundtrack and their candles and their table skipping is going to be fucking stupid as fuck. It's going to be absolutely awful. Um, yeah. So I guess this is our second pod of pride month. Not a lot of pride action happening in London. I mean, I guess when we go back to LA or, or New York, it's gonna, It's going to go down. On the flight over here, I was able to sleep for the first. I slept for like five hours on a flight, I think, for the first time in my entire life. Really? I think it was maybe my sleepy time gummies. Well, that would help. But you've done that before.

26:26Jason Stewart:Yeah, all the time. Yeah, that's why. But it still has blown me away that I slept for five hours. I went to bed at nighttime and I woke up after breakfast was being served. I want to talk about this because we both flew British Airways. British Airways. And I'm always, I took a day flight for the first time in my life, which the day flight from London to London, which is what some people recommend. And maybe I'm on board now. I don't mind it. But the difference was, and I did take some, I slept because I didn't sleep much the night before. I didn't wake, I usually wake up when that nasty metal food smell starts wafting through the cabin.

27:04Metal food? Disgusting. in those, oh, I feel like jail, didn't smell anything. And I'm wondering, I know they serve food. You just reminded me of night orange juice. Where's this? Jesus.

27:16Jason Stewart:Night orange juice. Especially airplane orange juice. Awful. That's just sugar. That doesn't even count. That's an orange juice substitute. Might as well be drinking one of your pineapple Kool-Aid buckets. Who here is anybody listening? Let's put a, that's what we call a cliffhanger in the biz. I don't know. I just don't. I'm glad that you were able to sleep. But I. So this was the first flight on British Airways Where I've only flown British Airways within Europe Like I've flown it from like Stockholm to London Because I wasn't really feeling The menu And I Did something I've never done in my entire life Which was I ordered salmon And it was cooked well And it was pretty good It blew me the fuck away So I'm eating salmon Which is something I would never do on an airplane for multiple reasons and then on that same flight, salmons are flying by your seat for a couple hours and you don't smell nothing.

28:15Maybe it wasn't, maybe the menu was different maybe because of the time of day, the service was different because we left in the morning. I would say that historically, breakfast food, less offensive smells than lunch or dinner food. If I'm... Yeah. Right?

28:31Jason Stewart:I think so, yeah. Okay. I mean, you know, depending on how much you like the smell of baked beans, roasted tomatoes, and sausage. Bacon is the most gnarly smell on earth. But they're not doing that on the plane. When's the last time Alex whipped up some bacon in the crib? It's been a while. But I'm out of town. She's probably doing it every day. Sizzling up? She's probably doing it every day. The neighbor's complaining. Like, wow, it really smells like bacon. It smells delicious, though, if you like bacon. I think I get that it smells good, but living with it, I think, feels a little. Is it only the smell or is it knowing that there's a thin layer of bacon underneath?

29:12Jason Stewart:No, it's only the smell. I don't think about that. I don't think about the cleanliness because somebody's going to clean it. You don't think that there's a little bit of bacon on your items? Well, not until you keep pushing it, but no, I've never thought that much. A little bit of bacon on your items. Would you like to add bacon to your items? for an extra$3? It's more of a thin layer. You can't eat it. It's just kind of a thin layer. Yeah. As soon as I got to London, everybody wants to talk to me about the World Cup. And I have to explain to every single person that we don't care about the World Cup in America.

29:43Jason Stewart:And we are sort of actively making fun of it and hating it. And people don't... We care about it because it's going to be an inconvenience to our lives because of traffic and people talking to us about it. I guess. I mean, I don't... I don't think the World Cup will affect my life whatsoever. It will affect. I do think it will affect traffic in New York. Maybe not LA, but I think it will be annoying. I mean, it seems like the World Cup is a good way to show the world that America is sort of losing just in general. I think we're fine. I don't mean in terms of football scores. I just mean in terms of like infrastructure stadiums future growth architecture it's because we don't care the only reason anybody cares about the World Cup here is because it's an opportunity to make money from a from whatever from a we don't have communism maybe city from a city standpoint you get tourism you make money from a brand standpoint you activate you make money it's a money there's no like passion for football there's a passion for making money the American way yeah that's all that's all anybody I'm just seeing all the we're getting stadium mogged by third world countries.

30:56Well, I mean, the only stadiums that are big enough in America are college football. Like, those are the biggest... My guess is those are the biggest actual stadiums that exist compared to...

31:06Jason Stewart:And they were all built in 1947. Yeah, but I don't... When I went to the L.A. when the new one in L.A., one of the worst experiences I've ever had in my life. Like, this shit looks like a spaceship. No one can tell me how to get around. Like, this place is a fucking nightmare. So you're like a little bit older with a little more good bones. I just think a classic SEC football stadium is going to feel better than a Dubai soccer stadium. Just to me. With a robotic roof. Yeah, it's the way that Wimbledon feels better than anything new because it has the history. But we are getting stadium-mogged, but luckily that's something I think we can recover from.

31:46Yeah, we're about to recover from it.

31:47Jason Stewart:Yeah. Have you, when you get back to New York, are you going to try a David scoop shop? Ice protein ice cream? Definitely not. Definitely. I mean, I'm curious to try the David canned cod fish. David shouties, slide into the DMs, bless me with some cod. I'm still upset Audrey Hobart collaborated with Fish Wife, but that's something. Audrey, we love you, but we can't be doing 10 fish. We, you know, everyone, they get a couple mistakes. no i get it if it's a you know what if you're truly passionate about 10 she probably only got paid in fish too just like like a like like you work at sea world she does have great hair so it could be it could be maybe this 10 fish is doing something funny to the idea of getting paid in fish like you're a sea lion yeah you're you're you're fucking having to put it together for the 10 fish i've been trying to eat more 10 fish lately dude to diversify my team there's some things that are healthy and i get it but it's just it's oh there's nothing grosser to me than that like choosing that as a meal at home feels extra psycho if you're on a boat or you're on tour or you're in jail i totally get it but if you're at your house is a btg food for you if you're your boat toward jail if you're at your beautiful home with a well-equipped kitchen hey babe i'm just gonna let me get some triscuits out of the cabinet and we're just gonna bust open some tin fish from my local purveyor i just feel like something it feels sinister i do it i mean i agree i agree it's it's sort of like eating astronaut food when you're not on yeah yeah yeah the spaceship yeah but i i like it as an i don't have it as my meal meal i'll have it as an in in-between snack little just like a small bowl of white rice and then dump out the tin of i know that i know and then just eat it really quickly like a rabid wolf i would rather not eat like i would rather i don't want to do it either but i'm doing it to get all the fucking i understand that nutrients and all that i don't i'm just starting to think all the like it's a i'm sure you're getting the nutrients but at what cost like think about how your mouth smells after that think about the how hard you're gonna have to go brushing your teeth flossing tongue scraping to get that disgusting flavor out of your mouth mackerel what are you what are you a fucking whale i've been eating sardines not mackerel whatever it doesn't matter same diff it doesn't matter and how much is it like 20 bucks no no no i mean some of it is very expensive but the the kind i may you know five bucks or something like that okay i just look do you man and i mean look you look great i'm trying to bulk i you're never going to bulk there's you cannot eat enough to bulk you cannot eat enough what does that mean you just i think what i mean my body's not built to bulk my doctor was like the protein shit is stupid.

34:35Like you guys are out of your, like doing that much protein is actually impossible and it doesn't, it's not going to work the way you think it is. 200 grams of protein or whatever is just like, you're just going to feel bad. You know what people are afraid of? Exercise. Everybody wants to do everything but just exercise. Well, I'm also exercise. No, I know you do. I'm just saying like, if you're eating 200 grams.

34:59Jason Stewart:Like doing a red light mask and making sure you hit your protein goals is not going to change your entire life yeah like i you're going to feel better if you exercise is all i'm trying to say what if i have a vibration plate that i do every morning while i stick my tongue out for 40 seconds is that enough cardio i wake up at 5 a.m and do my 100 lymphatic jumps and then go back to bed so i i get it i mean i'm not i'm not like above it i'm not above it yeah i mean i've i'm trying i'm just you know i'm always experimenting with my body you experiment too much i think you need to lock in and just stick with it man you're old enough to lock in these this lock in and stick with what though?

35:34Jason Stewart:Dude, I'm telling you. My tastes are ever evolving. My desires change daily. That's your problem. I think what we need to get into, I think we need to start washing our face with bar soap. I think we could go back to Cro-Magnum and be better off. I really believe it. Okay, so I'm going to chew on a piece of cinnamon bark as my toothpaste. I'm not saying that. I'm using beef tallow as moisturizer. I mean, that's the most disgusting Joe Rogan shit of all time. But I know that works too. I think it's like everything else. Everything works if you decided that it works. That's what I really think. Like I think there's no, in no world does everything work for everyone.

36:15So the placebo effect is all we can actually depend on. Me included. I just like the idea of what would happen if I just ate the amount of food that a 6 '9 person should be eating.

36:29Jason Stewart:Because I never had that big of an appetite. But you can't exercise enough for it to even out. That's the problem. Like to eat as much as you're supposed to, you have to probably train like an athlete for it to actually level out. What if I train like a bad athlete? Look, I've played a couple years in China, but I'm not, you know. What if I train like a chill athlete who's just kind of like not into all the... My sport? Tough to say. I just kind of go wherever my body takes me every morning. And sometimes that just means like laying on the ground and just like feeling that. People really be doing shit like that.

37:02Like, well, I just listen to my body. Well, maybe don't. Maybe listen to somebody who knows better than you.

37:08Jason Stewart:Well, I'm trying to get all those to eat all that food, but have it be, you know, so there's no room for anything but just like whole foods. And I'm also, I'm trying to eat no sauces. Just like a bowl with plain rice, steamed vegetables, and like some chicken or whatever. It's only strange to me because food is one of your only joys besides drinking and drugs. So I'm not saying like you need to be the sauce boss and like fucking slather. I get it. I just want to see what happens, but I haven't been able to eat 200 grams of protein every day at not even close i also don't think people realize how long it takes to see quote-unquote something happen like that it's going to take six months to see something happen it ain't going to take two weeks i know so it's at a certain i've been i've been doing it for like a month or two no no i'm not i'm not saying i just don't think that there is a i think all of these things are i just think it's going to be diminishing returns but if it makes you feel good mentally you know if it makes you feel good even if that's a trick then it's fine oh i don't feel good at all well i never feel good i'm never happy i never feel good those are the two things you gotta that's baseline stuff no i mean you feel happy when you're like when you just finish a workout yeah that's i mean i feel good right now after a full night's sleep and a workout yeah i feel good you worked out this morning already yeah oh fuck yeah it was pretty busy on that after it's pretty busy i'm gonna go that classic 11 a.m slot yeah it's called the let the quarter that's the let's shoot slot.

38:43Yeah, I'm free today. No, no, I'm good for two o 'clock. If you are, yeah, I'll be there. I'll be there. I'll be around. It's the best time if you can. You know what I mean? No, I disagree. I don't like an empty gym. I like to be in there when people are in there. Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone is brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot because I can't do anything. You need some art hung? TaskRabbit. but you need something put together, a cabinet. Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf.

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39:49Jason Stewart:Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive, and that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world is very good at doing and would gladly do it in exchange for a little bit of money. So when life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get$15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app using promo code HOWLONG. Taskers book up faster, especially for same-day tasks. So book Trusted Home Help today. That is$15 off your first task using promo code HOWLONG with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com.

40:31This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Squarespace. Obviously, Jason, you and I spend a lot of time on the World Wide Web, so do all our peers, our listeners, our friends, our colleagues, maybe even your parents if they're freaky. And if you're doing anything in the world, writing, taking pictures.

40:46Jason Stewart:I do topless boxing. You need a website. Exactly, a website that works, that does what it's supposed to do, that allows you to be creative but also business-minded. Jason, there's one place to go for that, Squarespace. Yeah, Chris, I'm over here. I'm modifying calculators and putting Claude inside of them so you could cheat at school. And I just want a place where I could, you know, have everything all in one place. I can have the SEO tools so those future graduates can find me. And, you know, I'm able to accept, quote unquote, donations for my services that might be gray area. You know what I mean?

41:22Jason Stewart:And then email campaigns. Hey, I got a new, you know, 2.3 version upgrade. Boom, boom, boom. Get the analytics going. Raise some money. you know show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on they're going to want to get in early and we can use blueprint ai to make your website look as professional as your competition if not more so head to squarespace.com slash how long for a free trial when you're ready to launch use offer code how long to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or a domain yeah i like waiting for machines it sounds awesome i like hearing fucking dudes who hit their wife going i mean the grunting shit is crazy luckily i don't experience it i don't go to places that really there's certain places i think they kind of encourage that and other places that the vibe is not right because i think people are realizing that men working out and making those grunting sounds it's like a subconscious mating call oh i see for pride women are also attracted to men it's not just a gay thing i don't know if women are attracted to men who i mean women who drive trucks and live in fucking florida are attracted to men who grunt no no no i think it's it's like a mating call of of like i want to hear the sound of a man like maxing out his pull-ups this is one of your wildest i i i think it's i i would say most women are like you're disgusting shut up most yeah women hate like a muscular guy showing how strong he is showing how strong you are and sounding like a bitch because you're grunting are two different things what a grunt is grunting and bitch activity are two different grunting is not manly it's actually pussy if you because if you if it if it's that hard and you're doing it i think the sounds that come out of your mouth while you're on your 70th push-up.

43:17Jason Stewart:No sound is allowed. You shouldn't be making sounds. If you're a real one, you don't make sounds. Okay, some people are allowed in the bedroom. Some people aren't. Chris says he likes a silent environment. No talking till I'm done. And some people like a gym is not a place for noise making. You don't drop weights. You don't grunt. None of that shit is acceptable. I really believe that like you you're with other people get off my lawn you have to respect you have to respect the environment and the surroundings you're when i when i hear a guy grunt this happened recently there's a guy grunting on the treadmill and there's a woman and i flanking him and she was just like shut up like dude shut the treadmill is psycho i mean if you're running because you're you're doing your like 14th one-handed push-up then like yeah finna come No gym we're in.

44:08No one's doing that, really. That's the thing. Those kind of places are like that.

44:12Jason Stewart:Any set that you're maxing out, you know, anything where you're pushing it to completion. Ban grunting. Learn how to breathe properly, and you'll be fine. Okay. This is big coming from Mr. Nose Strip. You need to grunt now? All you think about is breathing. The fuck? I don't want to grunt. When I'm in the gym, I'm not trying to make a sound. Sometimes it comes out, and I'm like, okay, I'm clocking myself. making a grunting sound. I think you like it. I think it's when you feel the most masculine. Because when you're eating your sardines and plain rice, I know you don't feel like a man. So you've got to get it out.

44:46Jason Stewart:If I eat it with my bare hands, I feel a little bit more. I forgot to mention, I do eat that with my bare hands. So it makes it a little different. Nature is spatula. It makes it a little different. I think the difference being, if you're on the treadmill and you're grunting, you're sort of doing it consciously for attention. No, no. I would say sprinting on a 12 hill on the treadmill is hard. That could require a grunt if you're that kind of person. I think when you are a person who's working out, and I'm sure when women be grunting as well, there are a subsection of Italian men who are into that as well.

45:22If you want to see a woman grunt, you're going to look at a meatball. That ain't the kind of... Nah, bro. I'm looking to see a woman grunt. I'll tell you, you know where I saw the women grunting? A gym in Philadelphia. Let me put that into perspective for you.

45:38Jason Stewart:Yeah, I was wondering what's the most female grunt. They're ripped. I mean, they're buff. Okay, I think there's a true grunt, there's a real feel, and there's a fake grunt. I think when you're grunting and it's completely involuntary, that's when it's okay. If you're in the Olympics, yeah. If you're in the Olympics. What if you're training to be in the Olympics? if you're okay if you're a professional athlete and you're other professional athletes by all means if you're an amateur at the gym and you're going hard you should pat yourself on the back you should be proud of that the grunt to signal that you're doing hard stuff is not necessary i'm saying the grunt is not a signal at all it's it's it's simply an exhaust pipe on a 75 you're putting your foot on the gas and and the f-150 is going 75 of people who grunt in the gym performative.

46:31I'll give you maybe 20%. We are the 20%. We are.

46:38I wanted to talk about a new... The T in LGBT stands for 20. I wanted to give you an update on a new celebrity couple and how they're rolling out their relationship because I think it's an interesting... It's a new couple? Jacob Elordi and Kendall Jenner. They were in Santa Barbara but now what they're doing... Jay Lee was talking about this on Instagram yesterday. they're in japan together and they're taking photos with the owners of all these cool japanese restaurants and that's sort of them hard launching on instagram that's the that's the hard launch

47:12Jason Stewart:which feels like a genius move it's an omakase launch it's an omakase for it's 300 but it's you know it's good it's eight courses okay so instead but are they is this something that you think that they're consciously and actively like this is a plan or this is just the way that the i don't like i don't like to go jason mode and think everything's a plan i don't like to go joe budden mode and think it's all a conspiracy i'm i'm not thinking but if they did you just said this is a launch so that means it's a concerted effort versus two or three images circulating one from a pizza place very popular so i don't i don't know if it's if it's a pr move or if they're just having fun and letting loose but it's a genius way to do things and and also who is gonna say no to an adorable sweet mild-mannered japanese small business who just gave you like the greatest pizza of your life yeah just a long-haired groovy japanese guy who's like hey yeah it's actually take a pic it's so different say no to that no one can say no to that i think they're i think they're doing it in the right way and it's only on these it's only on like the japanese restaurant accounts where the entire captions in Japanese yeah I mean that is cool but I think it's something that they're maybe not trying to do and it just came out and it happened I don't know if they're trying to have a launch or maybe their team is trying to I think I think that it feels like a thing where if it was bad someone would tell them to stop on there you know what I mean I think if it was if it was someone from fucking you know IDPR be like okay no no no no more of this so it's like somebody from their team is like maybe room service today maybe we don't need to go look kendall jenner one of the hottest in the game not being the lesbian charges jacob alorty legendary stick man it's good for everybody okay so he's a beard that can put in work uh yeah exactly and by put in work i mean a pepperoni and a margarita i can put them down okay well on the subject of food let's discuss pineapple kool-aid christopher bro i want to say i don't think i was first on this but i my algorithm was hitting me with this a couple weeks ago same honey and it's gotten to the point where i have to make one as soon as the plane touches down back in los angeles this weekend i will i will tell vic my driver no no no stop at ralph's fresh fare i need to pick up a few supplies my question is what are they serving it in because it doesn't look like a normal pineapple receptacle It looks like a Because it looks to be a jar I would love for you to explain What a standard pineapple receptacle is Standard pineapple receptacle Plastic Squarish Rectangle And then you pop the top Clear You know what I mean Don't act like you don't know what I mean You bought more fruit than I have Well I don't buy pre-cut Unless it's a beautiful Libby's You're going to cut a pineapple Well, I'm just saying, so this is what they're doing.

50:12Jason Stewart:Some people are making it fresh and storing it in a glass jar, but most people are buying this pre-cut pineapple spears in the jar. I've never seen pineapple spears in a jar. I haven't seen it either, and I guess some of these young entrepreneurs are picking up some pallets at Costco. Yeah, this could be some Southern shit we don't know about. This is at grocery stores we aren't welcome in. um yeah so basically you get a a jar of pineapple spears i guess it could be any pineapple chunks as well it could be chunks as well and i i want to also know why why don't we just use pineapple juice if we're just going to be drinking this but you you you get the pineapple you take the spears out leaving the the syrup and then you add in white sugar and kool-aid packets stir it up and then you sort of brine the pineapple spears and be electric blue or red or are we aware how long like what the marinade time what's the marinade i don't know i don't i don't know because i on the on the like you know hot cheeto crusted nerd rope wings i feel like that's that i've been seeing i think that did that are have you seen that stuff i've seen it yeah i mean i was i was talking to my barber shout out kevin last week i was getting a haircut and there's a mexican spot that's in my neighborhood in glendale that's a very fish out of water and they have a lot you know the hot cheeto you know samplers and things like that it's like instagrammy torta food and he's like i was explaining it to him he's like oh hell yeah is that the kind of place where they have like micheladas with gummy worms coming out of it and i was like precisely actually yes yeah i i would like to try your version of the pineapple spears but the i mean i think it's going to be mods but i think if you don't know i that's the thing i think i know i think it would be i know you want to do a high-end version which i like some delicious magna powder mixed in sounds like a wise plan the magnet the magnet team actually you know what i do i have to make a libby's video maybe this is this is tom yeah where i live out libby's if you're listening i need a i need a pallet of pine they would love they would love for you to live out uh i think we're paying you to do this i mean i think it's culinary delight that you've created when you do this especially you do on video i i you have to dress like a southern teenage baseball player like the star of that big goo you have to you have to dress like that big goo yeah which means several bracelets fitted hat straight which you this wouldn't be your first time wearing it sir no sir i can put that look together with my suitcase downstairs and then what brand of wireless headphone is sitting on top of the hat oh does he have the ones that like go around your neck no no just like a you know like a like a jbl wireless headphone that's that's sitting on the top oh like backward oh like a roman does he have one does he have one on i think so yeah okay i would guess long sleeve under armor baby blue you know i would guess i mean slides and socks i would guess something shitty as far as the headphones go um definitely not apple or beats i would say go for the the banging olfsen no he didn't get the heating i like jv jbl yeah jbl 79 johns but i feel like some of those trends i feel like in the gray color southern high school baseball stuff is really crazy like the look they all wear like necklaces and bracelets and like they're the hair It's a bunch of 12-year-old white boys who look like plies.

53:44Well, they have that haircut, you know, the fade with the front.

53:47Jason Stewart:That should be the new wife beater. Like, now that we are not allowed to call the white tank top a wife beater anymore, that hairstyle should be called the wife beater. The small glasses are called speed dealers in Australia, parts of New Zealand. And then having that haircut, that sort of hockey hair, rapist haircut, a little chug. What do they call it? there's a name for it and I'm forgetting it right now. That's a wife, Peter. There's a name. There's already a name for it, but it's not very fun. Because I get videos also served me where it's like old guys, like with crazy hair going in. They ask for that and they get it.

54:25And they're like, oh, hell yeah. I'm like, you look insane. Like when you're balding and you get that haircut and you push it all forward.

54:33Jason Stewart:It just, it makes you look like, there's that one MAGA white rapper who has like the really fucked up goatee. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You kind of look like that. Do you remember Baby Gronk? Of course. You know, you kind of, the energy of like an eight-year-old boy who's dressing like a guy who has a lifted, you know, construct, like my cement company, 350. I actually do pretty well. Got neon all up in it. I've been pouring for a while. He's been pouring. Take my car on, dude. I'll give you a quote on the pool. You got to do the, you got to do. But the thing is, I also would always buy chunks of pineapple, not spears.

55:12Jason Stewart:Yeah, I think the spear thing is new, just like the pickle. It's very similar to the pickle. They're also doing alcoholic versions of this. Don't tell me they would drop a little hen in there. Not too much. I'm not sure if it's hen or if it's some tequila or something, vodka. I mean, it could be anything, right? It could be anything, yeah. Because mixing anything with Kool-Aid is good. As well as pineapple. Yeah, true. Tequila, vodka, it all go down just nice. But the things I'm learning, it's showing, you know, it's shining a light. It's putting a magnifying glass or a microscope to different subcultures.

55:46Jason Stewart:Like we get to see a young white baseball playing kid who talks more like plies than plies could ever imagine. You know, stuff like that. I'm learning that many of America's obese youth. He's not obese. I'm not talking about him. I've seen lots of other videos of fat kids eating this. And many of them are like, I ain't never had pineapple before. This is their first exploration into fruit. I think that's a good thing. They're going to be disappointed because it ain't going to taste that good. And this is not fruit that was picked off of a tree and served to you at the peak ripeness. It was picked off a tree at some point.

56:30Jason Stewart:It ain't no wiser farms. But I mean, you're eating, you know, a canned fruit. Publix fruit. Publix fruit that's been sitting in syrup for a few, sitting sideways in syrup for a number of years at this point. Sitting sideways. So I'm learning that many of America's fat children are not consuming. Of course not. Yeah, but I mean, you assume that they're just eating, you know, processed foods or fast foods or, you know, chicken nuggies or whatever. You assume that's happening. And then every once in a while, their parents will make, you know, back when we were kids, you know, eat your green beans.

57:01Jason Stewart:or peas or whatever. Not an opelika. They don't. They gave up on the fight. Yeah, dude. No fruit. No. Like fruit is gay. And then the other thing I'm learning, many of America's people who eat every single day, it's arguably their best skill and what we're best at. Their ability to like use a fork is not, it's not. I've seen some. I've seen some very interesting fork usage in these videos where it's like, what do you. Men, women, and children. People write funny with the pencil. You know what I'm saying? It's like, dude, what are you doing? Somebody hands you a bowl of fruit and a fork, and it's like a dog looking at a chessboard, and you're like, all right, bishop to C12, and you're like, oh, oh.

57:51Jason Stewart:And they're holding this fork. I mean, obviously, we're sort of one of the last generations where etiquette and cotillion, we're not sending our kids to go learn table manners nowadays. It's kind of a free-for-all. Every kid knows how to use chopsticks or does not know how to use anything at all. It's sort of... I still get a fork. It's the destruction of the middle class of children. so I don't know what you're talking about. You get a fork at Nobu and you probably do an overhand grip. The overhand grip from a child is fine, I guess. It's more... But then once they get the fish on the line. There's a difference between a child and a 14-year-old.

58:30But once they get the fish on the line, there's still weird behaviors.

58:34Jason Stewart:Because this is the first time they're skewering a spear of pineapple. They can't get it to their mouth in a way that looks normal. And it's like, dude, it's just pineapple. Sure, it should be cut into pieces. It's a long spear. But this is what I'm going back to about saying this is the first time they're navigating. I mean, we're not asking this 400-pound eight-year-old to climb up a pineapple tree, cut it off. Hack it down. Hack it down, remove the rough skin, core the center fibrous bit out, and then consume it from that point. We're just saying, hey, this thing's ready to go. All you got to do is get it out of this bowl and into your hole.

59:13Jason Stewart:And these kids are like, bro, I can't. And also, this is only men doing it. Yeah, it's only men. What's up with that? Well, I think also not using the hands is because they know it's so sticky. It looks sticky. They would be better off using their hands, obviously, for embarrassment purposes and for just getting it in your mouth. But then if you get your hand in there, it's a sanitary issue, cross-contamination also, then your hands, that'd be blue. Yeah.

59:43Jason Stewart:And the bitch is referring to the first three fingers. My shit. I'd have one bite of fruit. My finger turned blue. This is crazy. I look like Smurf So I'm dying to try it Obviously I'm a pineapple lover Me too it definitely tastes good I mean there's no question it tastes good It's just disgusting because of the amount of sugar that's in it To make Kool-Aid taste good you have to put An amount of sugar that would give you gout I don't know I mean I'm able to Enjoy drinks with a low amount of sugar No no I am too of course I'm just saying I know what you mean It's just like here you came this far you know i'm gonna make french fries at home and i'm just gonna do a like light salt yeah like no no no it's crunch if we're gonna do it we're gonna do it yeah don't have popcorn and don't go to wine and eggs and get some weird sugar don't go to some weird shit don't go what is the cheapest gross what is the shittiest grocery store in los angeles i guess like super king or something like that you gotta go to super i mean you need to go i mean you need to go to like get like dollar store like domino sugar value no no no like great value shit that makes domino look like nobu okay i'm talking about like when we were kids and you just say like sugar yeah yeah yeah you know like but like great value something like that signature series what was the name of this what was the name of this grocery store again super king you need to go to super king super king bro you need to go to super king get all the ingredients there oh you can't get the ingredient don't because you know some dumbass the yugoslavian kool-aid is better some you know they don't have as many chemicals as soon as we finish this podcast and open our reels we're going to get somebody being like i did the pineapple spear trend with ingredients from erwan come with me as i make a 78 try my hayley bieber pineapple blue spears there's no question somebody's done that okay so they go high i go low you go no you're not even going low you're going right that's just not not that way i just mean like you're going right you're going right i'm moving correctly this is the traditional way that this dish is created you're you're respecting the heritage of the dish and that is right the right thing to do a taco a burger it's like when those chicks open the taco stand in portland and got canceled you know what i mean it's because they didn't respect the heritage you have to respect the heritage yeah it has to be made the correct way.

1:02:03Jason Stewart:It can't be a Portland-based, female-owned lesbian taco spot. It can't be no jackfruit shit. No jackfruit. It can't even be a fully Mexican-owned restaurant that's like a fancy spot. And like, here's our taco that's served four ways with this blue corn tortilla that's made on the indigenous land. You have to go side of the road mode. You gotta go side of the road mode. And the same thing with Blue Spears. You need to find a kid that can eat it, though. That's the question. pause you need to you need to find a kid you could because you if you're gonna do it you can't be the one trying it i have to go you're right and i you gotta stand outside the middle school creating this dish is only half the battle if not a quarter of it i have to me a giant man in his 40s needs to go around with candy to my local schools and then offer them these treats we must have film them we must know someone with a kid who would volunteer to do this oh yeah you know i know yeah all of our parents out there let me come film your kid for a while yeah it's nothing crazy just that big gas nothing crazy lauren let me get fritz over to the house i'm gonna give him his first blue fritz is still a little upset with me i think fritz has had a sip of wine since they've been living in paris that's my guess i bet he's had a little a fizzy chuggable red and so dan's like A little sip's fine.

1:03:29It's a different culture. Mama. Another galois. It tastes so good with croissant. Mama.

1:03:38Jason Stewart:Yeah, this is all. So I like that we, I think we've gone a little too far into like peptide wellness trends and things like that. And we sort of deserve blue pineapple. I think it's a reaction. I think it is a reaction. The pendulum has swung. and I think I'm glad that we talked about this and we worked out some of the possible pitfalls in this journey because and the culture surrounding it I would have tried to do like I'm going to make my goop kitchen the Gwyneth version of it we don't want free range pineapple cups and also for our parents out there I'm not going to make alcohol ones for your kids I'm going to have them clearly labeled the ones with alcohol will have a smiley face on it with a star yeah and that means kids stay away got it got it got it got it okay okay good for me to know too because i i would hate to have a sip of the if your little badass kid comes home smelling like henny it ain't on me that's your fault he got that's why you can't let him go to public school yeah and i've been filming your kid the whole time i got it all on tape try me bitch i had a camera on for this just to make sure everything was above board i've got a camera strapped to my chest to feed alcohol to children at a local school come with me as i get arrested by Glendale PD.

1:04:53Come with me.

1:04:56Jason Stewart:GRM gruddy with me. I was thinking lastly about conspiracy No, not you. Not you, tinfoil TJ. Tinfoil TJ, I got a good one. So we've got everything now is sort of we went from like subscription based, like we don't have commercials anymore. We have Spotify, Netflix, HBO, all that shit. So we don't have to do ads anymore and now they're like but also we have ads too and if you want to spend even more money we'll remove those but also if you want to have cheaper or maybe even free services you can watch a lot of ads we're gonna we're gonna dump ads in and you're gonna deal with it and and people are finding out that that is making more money than just paying for the subscription you know what i mean so i'm wondering at what point will we have ad supported medicines so like peptides that got different peptides in it that make people do other things like you're gonna get free redda but you know this company is gonna put a little pow pow in here so the red is making you lose weight but this one over here it's gonna be like this one makes you want to go to las vegas or this one makes like a board of tourism gets involved a board of tours any type of thing that people are trying to sell you know like yeah no sure this is going to make you go to the store and buy cheerios multigrain it's going to make you go buy churis multigrain but then you know peter teal is going to be like this frio zempic also has a little bit of peptides in it that makes you you know hate brown people i think that's not i don't think we're that seems like a pretty far technological advancement i know but i don't think i think people would be willing to do anything for free ozempic i think people would be willing to do a lot even though ozempic's pretty cheap from what i understand i mean i don't think it's free is free though free is free free is free this is not one of your best look i don't know craving this is going to be the future of of how we make people we don't have to sell things to people anymore we inject i like us saying this as a podcast that has as many ads as you can possibly fit that people complain about all the time even though nobody complains about it to me i've never heard a single complaint they complain all the time no they say tj another great round of ads wow i like that you guys care so much to try and make them unique interesting i've literally never heard feedback like that ever in my life i haven't either okay but i've also never heard any negative there's way too many ads i've heard it several times well i'm like what are you supposed to this is my goes back to my usual like well fuck you this is free so i could have you paying five dollars a month Well, the thing about podcast ads, not like ads on YouTube or whatever, skip it.

1:07:46Jason Stewart:Fast forward. There's a button that's 30 seconds. You go boom, boom, boom. Also, every podcast ad, it's usually like 90 seconds, two minutes, three minutes for the ad break. Hey Siri, fast forward three minutes. Okay. Now you're getting into AI territory as usual. I can't. We don't use Siri over here. Siri's the cops. If I'm working out - I've never used Siri in my life. If I'm hands-free, you know, I'm picking up a dog shit, I'm doing whatever, and then Squarespace come on while I'm listening to my stories, boom. Hey, Siri, fast forward three minutes, boom. Never use Siri in my life. Never voice to text in my life.

1:08:20It's narc shit. Narc shit. Siri, that is the cops. Okay.

1:08:25Jason Stewart:Well, this is a nice jumping off point to leave our How Long Gone listeners today. stick around for the next hour on patreon and we're gonna really dive deep into what chris thinks we got a guest today on patreon chris brown coming through a siri dunarks if you pay for 30 a month you get it get the extra uh yeah all right thank you for listening howlonggone.com thank you to our value retail family at a blast at bistur village yesterday village all roads lead we'll see you uh well thursday night we're doing a live pod in in the city here for a few people with our friend Juliana Salazar, which will be fun.

1:09:00And we'll talk to you on Friday with our boy, Shad, live in person. I might have to get a pint for that one. With the goat. All right. We'll see you guys later. Thank you for listening. Bye.

1:09:25Now I'm back to the start To the beat of my To the beat of my To the beat of my heart