957. - Chris & Jason

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21:26Jason Stewart:I don't think I've ever had Wingstop. Maybe when it very, very first, like first six months, I remember that one of them opened up maybe in Costa Mesa. Dude, Wingstop in Costa Mesa. That's a dark scene. You know, 1999, 2001, something like that. No, it hasn't been around that long. the restaurant chain was founded in 94 in Garland, Texas. Really? Began franchising in 97. Suck my dick from the back, Chris. I don't, you know, I got in one of these arguments to Alex's dad in the car today about football because he said that only 11 minutes of actual football get played every game. I was like, that's crazy.

22:02And then he proved me wrong and he's right. Yeah, it's true. Which is, that just felt insane. But I mean, he looked it up. He's a classic looker upper.

22:09Jason Stewart:They know how to stretch it, make a dollar out of 15 cent with that. I mean, the same kind of same thing with basketball. it's 48 minutes total and those games are what 3-4 hours? Yeah at least minimum with all the breaks and shit for sure The last 3 minutes takes 45. It's funny Carolyn is into watching basketball now. We're sports and girls. No shocker a girl is into basketball now that it's in the finals and there's one game left and it's a reason to drink and eat. That's so crazy No we're not drinking. We're eating really good and healthy. Well she played basketball like when she was in school like middle school no bro you know your wife is straight don't do that bro don't don't do that don't do that there was a time when they still let straight girls play basketball did you see those pictures of caitlin clark though yeah is that shit ai though i don't know but caitlin clark i know caitlin's listening the lesbian homie really likes all these wmba chicks and i'm like i don't see it um but caitlin clark leaving the trader joe's not bad let me see i gotta pull this up it could be fake i don't but i mean why would it be she's an athlete because i remember seeing it and she was pogging hard and it was like some something was going on that was different but um let's just i think for the sake of i think for the sake of how long gone it's real she was kind of serving big addison ray yeah yeah no yeah i mean because not fat no she's no she's probably like six feet tall also caitlin clark is 24 years old damn just like real just like real basketball bro they're young she had something happened she got she got the woody she's pogged down good god i mean it's let's take a second look good there was somebody else that we were talking about how you got to take a second look oh l fan l fanning is the one they keep talking about they keep being like online they're like every year somebody discovers that l fanning is a pog and then this post goes it's like the bo burnham thing during covet it comes up every six months and it gets a million likes and then it just happens again and again and again and no one, everyone acts like they're seeing it for the first time.

24:09It's pretty magical, actually.

24:10Jason Stewart:Yeah, we're really able, once you see a white girl with a fat ass, it's like, you know, we can put that into syndication. It's like Big Bang Theory, The Office, Workaholics, all that shit. Some of the, you know, these Caitlin Clark photos, she's playing ball with the camera, you know, look back at it, look side at it. You know, these are going to go down in the rafters. My grandkids are going to be - You wonder if she called? it out to these pigs you wonder if she called or you think that you think that a paparazzi would recognize caitlin clark in the at the gelson's fucking parking lot i don't know if it's a gelson's whatever you know carrying a smoothie it could be bristol farms i was thinking bristol farms but i don't know where she lives i don't know listeners right now call in let us know these these photos are definitely not real i mean i think it's i'm giving ai i'm giving real because it's very plausible.

25:03I mean, there's no way she, I mean, she's a professional athlete. It's not like it's so out of the question for her to be in that good of shape, you know?

25:10Jason Stewart:Okay, well, speaking of basketball, headline from a couple hours ago, NBA all-star James Harden arrested with a gun in Houston. You see this? Yeah, I did see this. I did see this. Dang it, bro. But I watched that, I watched one of those basketball shows on Netflix, James Harden was on it, and he is one of the most boring. like I don't like he doesn't really know how to talk it's crazy but I think he really stays in the strip clubs and that's sort of his whole thing so maybe he felt threatened um and felt like he needed protection I do find it strange that at this point you get caught with a gun well also in Houston you are allowed to carry a gun so he was charged with carrying an unlawful weapon and I don't I don't exactly know what that means but maybe he had oh okay he was caught with a handgun in his vehicle allegedly just like in the cup holder instead of holster oh that's fine because i always let my gun sit shot you know i put it shotgun no no pun intended i don't look if i'm in houston i have you have to kind of bring a gun like it's a non-negotiable especially if you you know somebody can kidnap you and pull 300 mil out of the crypto account you gotta ride around with a little something in there and i saw i saw a nice tweet james harden finally seeing some court time in june god got his ass got him i mean james harden is one of the best beard fishes maybe the best beard fish ever ever ever like if you see him if you see him without that beard you're you're shocked it is absolutely staggering what he looks like without the beard he is all beard all beard and i'm because there's a there's an episode of abbott elementary where quinta brunson dons uh a fake james harden style beard indistinguishable really from from james harden i mean my point being it's all like you said it's all yeah it's all it's all that beard it'll transform anyone man woman and child into james harden man woman and child every next halloween we're gonna have full families going as james harden with their hands behind their back the child james harden please stand up what is the okay so we were looking at at twitter earlier i sent you and and obviously on our timeline it was going crazy for this this morrissey list it's pretty awesome to do this mean girl list and i kind of want to do this on howlonggone.com just post a list of all your ops is just do you think it should be updated monthly or quarterly or something like that though i kind of bitch daily what the fuck you mean i make it every day but the the list i mean so so morrissey central um which i guess is his website is that is it called morrissey central which is a fun name and then the the post is titled the malefactors but dude the the range on this like mitski sure of course um but princess diana she's dead for god's sakes you know what i mean aubrey drake graham that doesn't yo dead Dead or Alive.

28:13Jason Stewart:Top 10 beefs of Dead or Alive. Something happened with them, and it makes you wonder. This can't be real, bro. Fucking Ryan Reynolds. This is so good. Bro, there's a lot on there that are. He listed Johnny Marr twice and himself. I mean, listing himself twice, great. I'm surprised that Ben Shapiro caught a stray here. Is Ross Geller Ross from Friends? I think it is.

28:40Dude, that's so good. putting fictional characters on your fucking ops list on your website is so good i mean so funny

28:48Jason Stewart:i'm not a thousand percent but also the blue album do you think that's weezer i i would hope so i would have so but the one that sticks out mike mike mills for the show catching straight tam paul but i'm most shocked by alex g who has given the world so much seems like a nice stoic guy i don't know what on earth alex g could have done unless he at some point in his like tumblr career like butchered a smith song as a cover or something i got the answer he won't fuck him he won't even reply to the dms oh that yeah you're right because alex g is is batty trade and morrissey wants a slice the whole the whole country of canada made it too which is really good this is really this is really fucking well that that i can understand i can too i'm sure he's been i'm sure he hasn't been let in before i love canadians but you know as a country and a government it's been tough right now this is really this is really funny Ronald McDonald though that one's sick but the the one that I want to call out the most out of all of them that is bizarre is John Cena I mean I think this list could contain people that have actually committed a personal affront to Morrissey in real life and also people he just doesn't like the cut of their jib which John Cena I get that I like John Cena just fine but I want it but how does Morrissey even consume enough and consume enough John Cena to decide whether he likes the cut of his shit?

30:13Jason Stewart:See, that's the thing, Jason. That's the thing. If you're a real hater, you don't need to see much. Trust, let me tell you, bro. How does John Cena, like, I don't I've, I grew up watching wrestling when I was a kid. I don't watch anymore. I have friends that are into it. I'm loosely tangential. I know enough about... No, no. He's not a wrestler. I've never seen John Cena wrestle. He's not wrestler, Jason. He's a movie star. He's definitely seen him in a movie as an actor, for sure. I don't want Morrissey. Morrissey should die. He shouldn't be old enough to be watching John Cena movies. I think that we've...

30:45Do you know how much Morrissey flies, Jason? Sometimes you run out of stuff to do. I don't back... Morrissey's like, I'm going to watch Date Night again. Dude, Morrissey is an older gay guy. I remember that. I know we think of him as this mythic character, but his taste probably at this point is flailing at best.

31:03Jason Stewart:So he's got some fucking house boy over and he's like, do you want to watch the new Yellowstone, I guess? I think that really could be possible. I want to know where his line is because we hold these people up so much as artists and when they when you start to see them slip you know what I mean? When you start to see I don't think this is a slip at all. I think this is one of the coolest things he's ever done. I think this is top five things Morrissey's ever done besides the Queen is Dead. This is putting a list of people you don't like on your website, naming names, we should all do this. Imagine how many websites I would be on.

31:38Jason Stewart:Yeah. And I wonder, I mean, I guess the definition of the word is a person who violates the law or commits a crime, a wrong or evildoer. So I feel like each one of these beefs has to be somewhat personal for whatever reason. No, I disagree. I I think friends is evil doing. Like friends as a program is an evil concept. I agree with that. I agree with that 100%. Maybe, I mean, I want to know. This is enough fodder for months of research. Like I want somebody at whatever, you know, Grantland or whatever. This feels like something for Yassi, honestly. This feels like something for Yassi to really unpack.

32:20Jason Stewart:Yassi, I want you to go create the huge whiteboard. and we got a photo of Mitski and she's connected to Mike Mills and he's connected to Jamie Oliver. I want to put something together. Figure out why. Put something together. You just put something together. Take The Weeknd, put something together and get with us on Monday. Also, Edward Cullen, is that? I believe that's... Is that from the movie? I believe that's Rob's character from... Whatchamacallit? Twilight, I believe. Twilight, yes. That one makes a little sense. That does actually. That makes a lot more sense than any other character. And he's like Edward Cullen from the book, not the movie.

32:53Jason Stewart:it's actually different. Oh, you thought I watched the movie? No. Yeah, so a lot of them make sense. And then some of them, I'm just dying to know. I would love to see your list. I think my list would be obvious, but I think yours could have some surprises on it. Oh, it'll have some surprises on it. That's a thing that people should pay well. Do you just pay$5 a month for an updated list of people you hate, someone hates? Maybe more. Maybe, because that's really something that you would want to pay for. Did you, did you, I agree, I agree. Did you see this call her daddy story in Vanity Fair that people were talking about for two months, then it came out and nothing happens, unfortunately?

33:30Jason Stewart:I saw it. I did not read it. But basically, they were trying to paint her new husband as kind of a... There's this one story where it was like... Toxic CEO. There's one where a woman was like, and then he touched my arm in front of her. I couldn't believe... It was just... It's really like, all right, man. That wouldn't have happened over at Dear Media. Absolutely not. They could take an arm touch. They don't let men in there, I don't think, except for the founder. They let my gay ass in there. That's about it. I'm saying around certain people. They probably kept you in a different space. You probably had to be in the men's playpen area.

34:04You weren't allowed.

34:04Jason Stewart:I was in the breeder bubble. But I think this is a... I had to bring my wedding certificate. This is a classic case of sort of a, like, the woman that got famous from talking about fucking baseball players is now a CEO. and we expect her to know how to run a conglomerate and also have good taste in men. It's just sort of like, what do you, she's not, this isn't, Alex is not some businesswoman. She's literally a podcaster who got so popular that she had almost no choice but to do this. You know what I mean? It's almost like the money is so great. She's merely an artist. She's not a world builder.

34:41Yeah, I don't expect her to be like an amazing boss and business owner. That just seems misguided. And also like, yeah, the husband's a dick. but it's not like he yells sometimes. It's just like there's nothing that crazy.

34:52Jason Stewart:Yeah, but also, you know, whenever these situations arise, I think people just sort of spiritually have bad feelings about people, and they want to sort of validate it or they want to find out. Totally. They want to find that their thoughts, like, this guy's bad news, he's taking advantage of her, maybe he's emotionally or physically abusive, you know, whatever. They want this stuff to come to light because even if you don't like call her daddy or think it's dumb, it's a bummer to see somebody being taken advantage of by another person. But I don't – I just – how could you possibly care about this?

35:30You know what I mean? I just don't expect entertainers to do more than entertain. Let me put it that way. If your job is to entertain, but we look to you for any sort of other guidance, leadership, opinions, or thought leading, I think that's where the problem. Like, if you're listening to Call Her Daddy and you think of her as something more than a voice that entertains you, then it's kind of your problem.

35:55Jason Stewart:If you work for Unwell Industries, you know, don't be surprised when, don't play Unwell games and not expect Unwell prizes. Is that what they say? I saw the two of them on an airplane one time, and I remember... Okay. He had controlling energy, I will say. Yeah, man. Maybe she needs to be controlled, bro. I need to be controlled. So do you. We all do. Everybody needs somebody to be like, don't do that. That's stupid. That's like... Yeah, but when people see a woman controlling a giant man, they go, that's right. I know that's right, girlfriend. But then when you see a guy, a male, a larger male controlling a smaller woman in public, Like, nobody likes to see that, unless you're a bad boy.

36:39No, of course not. Of course not. But I think the real issue is that there's too much money. So then you're immediately taking advantage of someone if there's that much money involved. If they didn't have any money, nobody would care. I think this is all part of her overall story arc.

36:55Jason Stewart:She goes from somebody who is most well-known for coining the phrase gawk gawk 3000. I always forget that. Honestly, that's Hall of Fame stuff. And I want to give her credit for that because I always forget that. But that's sort of, I mean, she's known for two things. Gawk Gawk 3000, which is literally just the sound that you should make when you're, you know, giving a blowjob to a New York Met. Or she's, her show is, you know, a show where she does not have a problem platforming people who have maybe been shunned by polite society a little bit rehabilitated. Yeah, you know, Christina Aguilera has been shunned by polite society.

37:34I always think that.

37:35Jason Stewart:Look, I didn't say everyone. I didn't say everyone. But, you know, she's willing to have bad people on and tell their side of the story, which is a lucrative business as everyone is, you know, super cancel happy. There's always a new reputation that needs to be rehabilitated. That's true. If you got to give a platform. And Adam Freeland can't do all of it. There's only one. There's only one of him. I don't know if you saw this, but there's some more news. besides um tom brady there's also there's another beverage hitting the market uh from generational bad about goodnet generational baddie uh from laguna beach lc no bro cavallari okay my girl my girl my nashville's own kristin cavallari kristin cavallari has a beverage oh you're not you're not up on this bro it's called fizzin it's called fizzin and jason it's a protein soda you you're right f-i-z-z-e-n she's fizzin fizzin protein sparkling fruit juice with real fruit juice so it's a feeling it's not all real fruit but what is that even what can you imagine even what that would taste like is that like a is that like a la croix with more flavor or is that like yeah i think it's gonna okay it's it's a sparkling fruit juice we got peach mango orange pineapple strawberry lemonade real kind of fastball down the middle no no no flavors for brown people these nothing that's going to confuse all the crackers buying this drink i think it's going to taste okay you know they put it they put enough my guess chris it's going to taste all right the collagen and the protein they put just enough in to where you know you cross the uncanny valley when you start adding stuff to it to where the average punter is not going to want to slug it down.

39:26This is what I want to ask about these protein drinks, these sort of, you know, whatever. How much protein can you add to something like this before it affects the taste? Or is it unlimited?

39:40Jason Stewart:No, it's definitely not unlimited. I think it's more usually like the protein... Consistency. Yeah, I guess I've never really experimented with just like straight up pure protein powder versus like flavored, you know, vanilla or whatever, you know, they always have some type of flavor because it's usually it affects like the mouthfeel, the chalkiness, the consistency. If you add too much of the powder, it just sort of, you know, the center won't hold. But I think for something like this, and also when I'm, if I'm getting eight grams of protein from a can of sparkling juice, I feel like that's not even protein that my body is going to be able to, you know, turn into muscle.

40:20Jason Stewart:It's just there. So you're saying, okay. Coincidential, like it's there, but there's nothing, body can't do nothing with it. But it says the word that it needs to say for someone to possibly buy it. Yes. I mean, all this stuff is stupid, but I do like it more as somebody who's not into things that are like too super sweet. I feel like everything is sort of moving away from just blasting you with sugar and super sweet things. And they're not doing it for any other reason other than people want to see no sugar added on the label or only three grams of sugar or whatever. So that part is good. But I don't need to drink my fizzy fruit punch protein.

41:06Jason Stewart:I'm just going to. I wonder what's going to sell better, this or Tom Brady's good nut. and and is it possible that kristin has also sampled tom brady's good nut that's another that's that's another dickory dog okay sorry that's another that's kind of another issue you take the hit chris i get it um i mean i with the good nut it's one of those like i don't know anyone who's gonna be like you know when you see like the rap snacks and like kids are gonna buy Like every day, thousands of kids ask their mom to buy them NBA Youngboy rap snacks. I don't know anyone who's going to ask their mom to buy them Tom Brady coconut water.

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43:52Jason Stewart:Yeah, Chris, I am personally friends with Michael from Dart, and I have worked with them for years. I think the last time I did a big one, we did the Sweet Green wedding. They set up a beautiful booth for the ceremony, just some cocktail music, some vinyl, some cool vibes. And then they set up a whole big tent with a crazy bumping sound system for me to play in later. These guys are great. A lot of people always ask me like, hey, you know, do cool wedding DJs exist? Do cool event people exist? The cool part about Dart is they'll work with people like me to come and DJ your party, as well as provide all the gear and all the consulting and all that stuff.

44:34Jason Stewart:So if you don't know who to hire for your event, Dart Collective is the one. Dart, just like throwing a dart, dash collective.com. And as for Mike, his email address is Michael. at dart-collective.com. Tell them we sent you. So if you have an event coming up this summer, Dart Collective is where you go. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by our old friends at ShipStation. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Sounds about right until you actually start doing that math, Jason. For most businesses, shipping is that thing. What is it actually costing you? Because if nobody's questioning it, it's probably costing way more than it should.

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45:36Jason Stewart:That is crazy. That's a lot of money to save, but us grustlers out there, time is more important than money And that's where just as many people find peace and happiness over at ShipStation. So get back to what you want to do in life, not managing a bunch of BS. The sooner you switch, the sooner you start saving money and time. Get started with ShipStation today and get 60 days free at ShipStation.com with code HOWLONG. That is ShipStation.com, code HOWLONG, ShipStation.com, promo code HOWLONG, taxes and fees apply you know so it's like you really gotta no when you put it when you put it like that you're kind of right like it's like mom mom mom yeah i would like tom brady's coconut water please it doesn't roll off the tongue so i mean all that is to say like obviously wrap snacks are are disgusting you know team move food i've never tried it before but i'm assuming it's not a glorious blend of flavors crafted by you know our world's culinary greats it's it's which is totally fine i'm down to eat stuff like that but with a coconut water there's already like the coconut water space is already here like unless you are cheaper and better than harmless harvest there's no reason for anyone to buy your shit because like we got the expensive good shit and then you got the like 99 cents a can like cheap shit where you're like you know it's fine and that's kind of it so unless tom is going to be able to conquer harvest mountain good freaking look that was the best so i'm in i'm in the hamptons and there's you know like a obviously like a shopping block that's you know lower piano prada louis vuitton there's chanel there's you know everything you can imagine violet gray for beauty there's an amazing double rl store blah blah you turn one corner and there's tom brady's card vault which is the ugliest store on fucking planet earth i don't there's one i believe there's still one on lafayette and new york it's like the worst it's literally a card shop that looks like sort of like a transformer logo and i i've just the the way the hamptons is so manicured and the rules about you know i'm sure what you can have in your garden and how tall your fence and all that shit to to allow tom brady to open the eyesore that is card vault in the same eye line as chanel is that's literally a crime that's literally a taste crime and he needs to be it's crazy how ugly it is it's so ugly this is why we need hoas or something right yeah right i love it i love hoa i love rules i was just stunned i think the problem is whoever owns that land whichever jewish guy owns that land their son or their cousin or whatever is into card lover trading cards that's how the cards stay carding but i will say it was busy i I will say it was busy.

48:30Jason Stewart:Yeah, of course it's busy. There's nothing else to do in the Hamptons once you realize you can't afford the big flap Chanel. Then, you know, let's go look at some fucking Pokemon. No, I think that's the problem. Too many people can't afford the big flap Chanel, so there ain't any left. I think that's the problem. I think that's what you're like. All right, they're sold out. My personal shopper called me. I already got mine, so I'm taking fucking Sammy and his buddy to go blow some money on an Odell Beckham card. Sammy. Odell Beckham card. Okay, what do you think about the Lunan water craze going on?

49:02I had a moment with this today. I bought Alex the Sparkling this morning.

49:05Jason Stewart:I had a Lunan moment. At the provision store. And the woman was like, what's up with this stuff? Have you tried it before? And I was like, yeah, I've tried it before. She's like, it's good, right? I'm like, yeah, it's good. But I think that the design is purposely ugly. And I think that the, I can't remember if this is, I don't know if Sundberg pointed this out or if someone else mentioned it to me or maybe this was in, because Dan wrote about it today too in The New Consumer, but the wide mouth, like the size of the hole. They're disrupting the space? They're disrupting this hole-sized space.

49:39Jason Stewart:I let this guy disrupt my space last night. You're going to get your space disrupted. No joke. But it's a nice bottle and I think the wide mouth is much like the... Who else does the wide mouth? Is it the Nalgene does one? I mean, like water bottle companies? I just don't know of any other. I can't think of another. I'm trying to think of when I've experienced a wide mouth because it feels kind of like an early 2000s relic. This shit is good, though. It's very good. And also, I think the real trick is that it's reasonably priced. It's not really any different. It's not that cheap, though. No, but it's the same price.

50:19It's literally$4. It's the same price as a Fiji, but it's smaller, obviously.

50:24Jason Stewart:little smaller yeah i mean it's i guess it's sort of um a decession indicator because you know moving back into sort of single use statement branded water is sort of something that hasn't really been going on you know like oh good point going back to the heyday of you know jennifer anison with the smart water or everyone had essentia you know was going loco with the essentials and then you know we we all we went deep and everyone had their own brand and each brand of water bottle that you carried around signified how much money you made and how cool and hip you are and then it went away with sort of the now genification and everyone carrying around the stanley babas and and all that stuff and now people are sort of rejecting that and going back into this and we're anti-plastic because we have so much plastic in our little testicles and we got to do glass only the only downside is bad for the gym because you're going to break it and it's going to have jason i will i'll say i think i've broken a i've broken a glass water bottle at the gym it's very embarrassing really wow i this this bottle feels like it has a high constitution this bottle feels like it does it does it feels thick i remember i had i was i was at metro fitness in got water i had the the glass smart water where it was like oh yes the limited glass smart i remember when you got your hands on these we used to they used it was sort of like hotel only it was very like you know you can get like a nice something where you can compete with the glass voss or whatever the uh yeah yeah yeah the aquapana at the table so they had it was very like miami beach let me know a glass of you know the glass bottle of smart water it looked exactly like the plastic but it was glass you used to get them at mother's market in orange county but Anyway, you know, had it up on the dips or something like that and knocked it and just boom, smash on the floor.

52:14Luckily, Metro Fitness, they probably just kind of like left it there for a while.

52:18Jason Stewart:They said, don't worry, the dogs will eat the glass. It's fine. No, the cat will take care of that. We keep them in the back. We keep them in the back. That's actually really... But I remember somebody at Lunen sent us, what was that, six months ago or something like that? They sent us... Yeah, yeah. No explanation or anything. It just showed up, you know, a case of still, a case of sparkling. and then I just it just sat in my fridge and you know I popped it when we had guests over and I was like yeah water's good and but I think all in all it is a good recession d indicator that things are going well that we want to have I mean actually when I was in Utah we saw you saw the table of girlies and each each table of like rich bored housewife had the Stanley had a lunin and had a smoothie with them at all times.

53:10Wow. Okay, so what do we think is in the Stanley? Some sort of soda concoction?

53:14Jason Stewart:I think the Stanley is water with some type of powder in it, whatever it might be, electrolytes, et cetera, et cetera. Some type of yummy powder that make water yummy. And then the lunin is there just as a flex to let the other moms know that, you know. I got five on it. I got five on it. Do you remember Crystal Light? Yeah, the original Liquid IV. I mean, that was my mom. We had so much Crystal Light in my fucking house. But it's crazy. That's exactly what this is. It's the same exact thing. It's like, are we really so... And I mean, I'm obviously part of the problem, and so are you. I can drink a bottle of water, no problem.

53:53And I'm happy when it tastes like water. But now that when I go to the gym, if I don't have my Magna fucking Arnold Palmer, I'm like annoyed. right right right you become a pill if you don't have I ran out and I didn't I didn't like I texted Taylor and she was like yeah but I was out of town so I went with like a week without it and I was like I'm actually I actually missed this it's fucking annoying I'm part of the problem I didn't want to I thought I would I thought I would be better than that but I don't think I don't think

54:19Jason Stewart:well I don't I don't think there's anything wrong with it because you know we've taken the crystal light which was before was just you know we make it taste like fruit punch instead of water there's some flavorings and there's some sugar and you know you can also get the sugar free but it was just there and so it was it was less virtuous and healthy than just drinking the regular water so it was more of a crutch versus now you know you have the crutch with you know the medicine with the with the the sugar going down you're you're you feel like you're you're not doing anything wrong you feel like you're making your body even better pumping it up with all this delicious magnesium it makes you energy and sleepy could you can you beat that really get you a chemical compound that can do both i wonder if this will really because i the other thing i've noticed about lunan is they don't sell it at erwin yet which is interesting interesting we can't get that wall in account that well i feel like that i feel like somebody's like i feel like they're like we're not gonna pay like everybody else or something and and erwin won't bend you know what i mean is my guess there's some sort of standoff but the overall it's good you know in a time when everyone is getting addicted to starbucks refresher hot pink drinky thingies and whipped cream banana foam matchas and all this shit as a status symbol going back to straight up cold water that you gotta buy and you gotta know they don't sell it everywhere and it's a little more expensive than the other places.

55:49Jason Stewart:It's a good return to form. You're right, actually. It means that it feels like the world is healing in some regard. The world, and we need a win right now, don't we? But I guess speaking of people who need a win, Kiki Palmer spotted at a restaurant with Sean Evans from Hot Ones grabbing dinner together. They have got the bottle of Aguapana on the table. He's been lusting after her publicly for years, and this is obviously 100 % a stunt. Like, there's no way this is like a real date. Just basically like we just had dinner Friday night at a nice restaurant as friends. I think that it's people like to hear about this because we've been playing these games in public for a year.

56:36And I flirted with him when I came on the show. And now I would like a little bit of I mean, I can call the paparazzi and somebody. this is like a thing that'll be cute and everybody kind of wins okay but do you feel like because it also came out that it also came out that kiki palmer lives with her two sisters and their kids so it ain't like sean's going back to her place kiki step your money up i bet you sean has an

57:01Jason Stewart:extra room or something like that she's doing just fine but okay so the the joke and the the lore or whatever that they're sort of fueling the fanning the fire is that he is basically a simp for kiki Palmer he's been he's had a crush on her for years and then you know he she came on the show they had this flirty chemistry she was playing along they had a kiss eventually so I'm saying if that is all true and correct is this unfair for Kiki to be toying with him and his emotions basically a public cucking friend zone of Sean from hot wings hot hot ones I think Sean from From what I know. Are we considering Sean's emotions here?

57:44Jason Stewart:I always consider Sean's emotions. And from what I understand, I mean, Sean. From one ball to another. He's a stick man. He was dating a porn star, for Christ's sake. So I don't think. Oh, okay. I don't know if he can. I feel like he can't get messed with like that. But I also think he's fine to play. Sean really does look like a porn star when you. Yeah, dude. 100%. He is porn star down. God damn. Okay. But I like the facts. So because of that, if he's a known fornicator, if he's been able to pound a pro. He don't need this kiki shit. He's like, yeah, play me, bitch. I got a roster. I got a stable.

58:24I don't give a fuck. I'll go on a date with you. I'll get my picture taken. People will like it. It'll get more ratings for my show. And if I get to beat, I get to beat. If not, that's cool, too. That's my guess.

58:33Jason Stewart:So we're saying big dick Sean. Ain't nobody simping over here. I've never met Sean, but I feel deep in my soul that Sean's a real one. Get it how you live, Sean. Okay. Okay. That being said, we're going to do a little polymarket play. Percentage of chance that he is or he has put his penis inside of Kiki Palmer.

59:00Oh, man. 40 % chance. That's not bad. It's not bad at all. Not bad because I want him to win. I want him to both get the picture and get the pussy. You know what I mean? I want the double. First you get the picture. Double P. Then you get the pussy. That double P.

59:17Jason Stewart:Yeah, yeah, yeah. PP. But what do you think? What are you looking at? I was going more in the 15 % to 19 % range. Okay, okay, okay. You're thrown in with action. I feel like there's a way for us to find this out, honestly. I feel like this isn't that crazy. I feel like I could text a few people and get an answer here. because we got connections to Sean. This ain't like he's behind the raw iron gates. Yeah, we could use our one wish for the genie and ask our friend of a friend, you know, if we could smell Sean from Hot One's Finger. Is that over? Is that our plan? Oh, wait a second. What's Kiki Palmer on the Scoville scale, if you don't mind me asking, Sean?

1:00:02Got him. That's quite nice. That is quite nice.

1:00:04Jason Stewart:I do. Okay, our bud, kick him while he's down, Hudson Williams has had a tough one. He was dropped by Peloton. He had a Peloton deal and they dropped him amidst his high school photo backlash where he, you know, the classic drunk house party thing where people draw stuff all over your face with a sharpie and you take a photo and one of the things on his face was a swastika and that's not good for him this week, right? Not great for him, but I mean, I think that I actually believe that he didn't know because I bet he was so twisted and I haven't read anything about it because I want to see him.

1:00:45He was the loser of this whole thing anyway. So it's not like it was going to happen by hook or by crook. But I think this is a little bit like.

1:00:53Jason Stewart:No, but all things considered, if he was the one losing compared to him and Conor Story, the Peloton deal is going to affect the World Tour. He was sort of banking on this Peloton deal for his 26, 27. What did he do for Peloton? Was he like an ad or was he like... I guess he was... Did he host a ride? What did he do? He was an instructor. He did Tuesdays and Thursdays. What did he do? Because this is one of those things where they're like, oh, no, he lost the Peloton deal. I'm like, I don't know if anybody knew he had the Peloton deal. Like what is the Peloton deal for an actor? That doesn't really make sense.

1:01:26Jason Stewart:I mean, I'm assuming it was just a person who was in ads. Yeah, I would assume that too. But it's strange that you or I both hadn't seen one. Hudson Williams Peloton ad campaign video crosses the 20 million views. Yeah, it's just a video of him just kind of sweaty on a treadmill and he's doing gay shit. He's walking sideways and forwards. It's pretty cool. I like that they dropped him after the ad had probably already done everything it was going to do. We got 20 million views on this ad at the peak of your fame, and now we're going to drop you publicly to make a statement. Although Peloton's had a tough time.

1:02:02People dying. Remember when Big died on the Peloton? They can't have another one. This can't keep happening to them.

1:02:10Jason Stewart:It took me a minute. I was like, Big from Robin Big or Big from Sex and the City? Big from Robin Big has never been on a bicycle in his life, but rest in peace to the God. Rest in peace to both bigs. Real quick question involving change. Let's say you're going to go to a hotel or you're going to Vegas or whatever, and you want to get a bunch of fives, tip the door guy, tip the this, tip the that. In 2026, where do you go? I mean, I guess other than walking into a bank teller, where do you go turn a$100 bill into 25s? Bodega might do it for you in New York, depending on which one. I mean, is this a thing that you have had to?

1:02:49Yeah, I've definitely done this before. I mean, I've probably done, you know what I bet I've done? I think you can get tens out of the ATM. So I would get tens and then break those down. I mean, if you're at a hotel, usually the front desk or the valet can break it down for you and is happy to.

1:03:03Jason Stewart:I mean, well, that's why I'm asking in 2026 because they kind of don't do it anymore. They've done that for me in the last, like, six months. Okay. For sure. But it's not every hotel. the thing that happens i mean even at even at like what was that a four seasons or something they're like we don't do that anymore or maybe it was i don't remember yeah it was something along those lines any hotel i feel like any hotel with a valet yeah there's cash on hand somewhere but you're you're right and i'm sure they're trying not to do it that's i would say that i would say if you're on if you're in la if you go into a gas station with tens i feel like they'll break them down for you but what you can't a hundred is gonna be tough what if i got 20s 20s might they might do it but they might only do a couple you know what i mean they might they might give you like two tens and four fives but they're not going to give you a hundred dollars worth yeah as we as we slowly continue the transition into a cashless society you know our this is affecting our nation's tippers i just tip somebody as well as our nation's tip receivers i tip the guy at the uh at the garage where i picked up the m5 talking to you kiki i tipped him and man the i've gotten cars from him a lot.

1:04:13It's the same guy and I always tip him the same. The level of service and just the attitude is so much better that I'm like, this is an investment in my well-being. This is worth every penny. This guy sits in a dark garage all day. I can peel off a 20 and we're going to have a chat. It's worth every penny. It's an investment for all of us. I went to a hotel in Atlanta and I tried to pay the valet and they're like, it's cashless. I was literally like, are you kidding? Why would you have this job? The whole point of being a valet is that you get to steal money. That's the whole point of that job.

1:04:44That was the whole point of the job. But I felt wrong to valet. I know it's common in LA, but I hate. Valet is a cash business, and that should be maybe the last thing that falls.

1:04:55Jason Stewart:But everyone is using AI technology to cut down our profit and loss, and human beings and cash are an imperfect system, and it's only a matter of time. and like you said, being a valet, the whole point was, you know, you get your hourly plus tips, plus stolen. Are you kidding me? Being like a hot 21-year-old at the fucking, you know, Ritz-Carlton Laguna? Are you kidding? Your fucking moms, you're pocketing 200 a day. Like life is like your tan. That's a great job. Nice little benzo. Exactly. Nice little benzo under that seat. Yeah, exactly. Oh, bro. The amount of guys, I told you all my friends had the racket at a hospital.

1:05:34They were finding all kinds of pills in the car. There's so much.

1:05:37Jason Stewart:Valet at the hospital? I mean, that's the goldmine. Before we go, we should talk about Zoran in these shorts. Because... He built like bad baby from below, from the waist down. He's whoa, Vicky doing a poetry reading in those shorts. I think that when you sign up for the job of mayor, no matter how young you are, no matter what you like to do, you can only be photographed in a suit is is that that is just the reality you can only be photographed in a suit and i know all the zoran lovers out there are going to bend over backwards to make this okay and there's no way you can make this okay even if you're even if you're playing soccer put on the seven inch shorts do you know what i mean the three and a half inch ain't for the mayor it ain't for them there's a way to make that look okay and he he did not do it he he went kind of like i'm trying to think what mode he went it's like he has like a wes anderson swag to him i wish and i think that like i wish that was what was going on here just in the in the like the millennial twee like i'm gonna wear my sports uniform but it's sort of like camp counselor-y energy yeah that's true i mean versus like i'm gonna wear a proper kit that people wear nowadays people having a hard-on for him like making affordable jerseys that they don't need I'm like, dude, you don't need a fucking jersey.

1:07:02Like, what the fuck? Who cares? Like, that's absolutely meaningless. Meaningless to make. I don't understand the excitement behind that. But put on some 7-inch, 8-inch, 9-inch, whatever you got to do.

1:07:13Jason Stewart:Actually, is that his, sorry for interrupting, is that his first example of socialism at work? He made a football kit for everyone, government mandated. Yeah, I don't even understand. I saw people talking about it and then people getting mad they couldn't get one. And I'm like, anything that people will wait in line for, there's no perfect, there's no way to win. It's going to end badly for you. Somebody's going to be mad they have to pay$500 on eBay. Is him showing a little leg, dressing a little too casually on the job as a person in governance, is this like the reverse Fetterman? Like Fetterman will always wear something too casual on top.

1:07:51Jason Stewart:Yeah. Like he'll wear some pants. Yeah, kind of. And shoes like a man, but then up top, He's got the fucking Dickies work shirt or the Walmart Carhartt fucking hoodie or whatever. And then Zoe, down below, he's got his little fucking Azalea Banks legs. Yeah, this is not. Also, the face he's making, it just feels something about it. Like, if you're going to wear shorts like that, you got to look hard. You know what I mean? You can't be smiling. He looks like he's about to bottom for Sean from Hot Wheels. It does look like that a little bit. He looks really, he looks too, wait, hold on. I'm zooming out.

1:08:23Camp Onawana trade. The shoes aren't bad. Socks are bad. I mean, you know, whatever, man. He could have this one. He's got rings on.

1:08:30Jason Stewart:Yo, what's gayer? Dressing like Zoron or dissecting his look? How Long Gone. Thank you guys for listening. We'll be back next week with some more podcasts from the Big Apple. Oh yeah, me going to New York tomorrow. We appreciate you. Website is howlonggone.com. Follow Jason Stewart at them jeans on Instagram. Pray for Wemby tonight. Pray for Wemby tonight. They're going, they're bringing the AK's out. The Switch is out. No Nintendo in San Antonio. Alright, bye!