972. - Chris & Jason

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0:33How long gone? A beautiful Sunday here in God's borough, Glendale, California. I am in Jason's man cave. It's a classic IRL one-on-one. This hasn't happened in a while, though.

0:47Jason Stewart:It's been a while. I've grown accustomed to us living in isolated vocal pods. Just in terms of editing, it's so much easier when we're not in the same room. so we're this podcast won't be edited it's sunday it's casual it's 100 degrees outside world cup finale you know i'm dealing with an espresso machine that's not giving me the correct output yeah i walked i was like oh did you get an espresso machine and he showed me how easy it was and i was like this looks like an easy one to use he's like we haven't we're not quite there it's very easy to use but the problem the reason i've been well first of all shout out to our friends at fellow for blessing me with a great unit i didn't realize that i was one i chose candy apple red the it was a decision but i didn't want to just go black but we we have we have red accessories in the i think i think a pop of blood i think a pop of kitchen in the color is nice i know you got yeah yg verse the game oh it's more of a pop in here blood is all it's all bloody in that kitchen i'm sorry crusade is bloody as hell i i did know that i prefer a more my electric thermometer what color is it i'm it's red plastic i was gonna say i like a more variety of colors of the rainbow and then i knew i was setting myself up for failure on that one so come on bris like no joke uh but you're saying that it's it's gonna it's still gonna take some calibration on your side yeah the reason why i was hesitant about getting an espresso machine i'm i i know i'm gonna turn into that the coffee nerd the espresso nerd it's happened to a lot of friends of ours over the years tough you know from george from the 1975 our good friend george george daniel as well as boni ver and you know i'm sure emil haney and all these all these actually four dudes who you know produce music well it's once you start i feel like you have you have money you produce music you're you're ocd you're add and i'm gonna get in there you're only missing one of those things so this is this does feel in line for maybe your future become successful i'll be i think that the the thing that is the because when my my barista former my former barista he's now moved on but john he was like basically i think when the scale dead or he doesn't know he just got a new job once you once the scale starts getting into once you're spending 500 plus on the scale i feel like that's just a bridge too far but i'm sure it does make it better but does it make it better i know i'm i'm still learning because i don't know any of it's um you know we're weighing out beans am i going to become a we a bean weigher it's that it's kind of crazy that you've never you've never had one before and you never worked at it you never were like you never did it i was never a shot puller that's actually kind of crazy yeah it does it feels like something that's really satisfying once it's easy for you the problem with this is it's such a like a technologically advanced machine like f so after every shot you pull it tells you how many seconds as well as the pressure story there's like a literal like yeah charge waveform yeah yeah and it's like here's here were the pressure levels when how long it happened so you're you're tweaking in the and then the grinder it's like what's setting how fine is the ground and then a little you know a millimeter spec two in one direction the puck the machine's clogged the puck nothing comes out if it's too coarse the other one water sprays out you don't get any crema i'm not so i'm like fuck i'm just i'm gonna be blowing through beans i'm gonna be making let's call it seven to 14 cortados per day you know dialing it in you gotta have some friends over give away every bag of beans is different oh like all the roast levels oil levels all that this is this is why i think i don't have any hobbies is because everything goes into this zone as soon as you get into it i'm like i'm out i i just i'll go down the street i'll pay ten dollars I know.

4:35Well, it looks great. I'm excited for my journey.

4:37Jason Stewart:You're going to leave Glendale with a nice Cortado. I can't wait. Do I get to use one of your little chef's cups too? Do they have small ones? I'm going to give you the smallest one, which is an inch tall and about six inches in diameter. So it's going to be you know, we were talking about the difference between LA and New York. New York, tall skyscrapers LA, one story building, but very large. Same kind of thing. We're going to get a you're going to get a flatter white. I didn't have You're going to get the flattest white in Glendale. That's why I'm going to talk about my ass. Talking about your mama.

5:09Chris, the flattest white. I haven't had a good coffee all weekend. I just didn't really... I don't know. It didn't work out for me.

5:16Jason Stewart:You didn't like the program over at the Chateau Marmont? The coffee there is one step above Keurig. What are the machines? Nespresso. It could be in Nespresso, honestly. Damn. Okay, so what's worse? my opinion of the food there or your opinion of the coffee there is is or is there f and b equally bad no the food of coffee i would only eat like eggs and toast and it's fine i would only eat eggs and toast or whatever i never i don't explore hotel menus like that i don't really i try not to eat at the hotel unless it's because i get home late and i have no choice same queen i'm trying to adventure you're over across the street over at pink taco i would be at tacos penche i usually i didn't go this weekend what region of pinchay pinchy what's over at pinchy pinchay tacos i but there was an incident yesterday which i'm you might have heard about because your wife was there but we were at the oh yeah we're at the pool and it's you know saturday afternoon at the pool it's it's you know it's usually pretty mellow at the i've never seen that pool like have people turning up like day party style that's never the vibe there sure um just like three people quietly reading a book that's literally what it's like a guy a guy marking a screenplay and five people reading Edward Norton's there nobody even looks at him but it was um the I'm not exaggerating it might have been 20 guys that look like they weren't southern they weren't southern fraternity guys they were something different I don't know if it was Jewish fraternity guys Jerusalem I don't know if it was like USC UCLA like a different it wasn't the flavor guys don't go to USC I what are you talking about i i don't know i it was like a bachelor party kind of i think it was a wedding was it a stag do i think it was a stag do because basically a southern fraternity guy i can spot from fucking 100 yards no problem speaking of shep rose on the pod next week my man the best of all the best version of that so i recognize that very clearly these were a different kind of guy because they were a little old they were probably you know early 30s and they were in the pool arms around each other all had aperol spritzes they're yelling at their friends that are in the you know like waving from a room and mesh hats you know one guy had the like cheeky like like short speedo yeah like oh I'm I'm the crazy one in the group that like I don't work at JP Morgan but my dad's rich kind of vibe we let him cruise he's a he's a blast so they're like a chick magnet they're being loud and annoying and you can tell the staff is like nah bro i'd rather deal with like courtney love throwing a hot coffee in my face than this and it's just you know that's going on and then you hear a glass break and there's and everybody looks around because you're like as a even you know i didn't grow up with a pool you didn't grow up with a pool i i go to pools pretty often now as an adult mercifully thankfully praise him i don't drink by the pool really but even i know it's canned beer or plastic cup it can be plastic Stemware it can be plastic glass or it can be The nicest of the nice if you've made it far Enough in life to have your stag do at the Chateau Marmont that's what You've been around pools enough to know that No glass by the pool these guys Universal these guys so someone With maybe the one Guy out of 20 that wasn't drinking Aperol Had I think brought down A champagne flute a rogue Champagne flute from his room And it broke into The pool and everybody's kind of like just insane oh and then you see you know like the hot buff 100 degrees saturday afternoon 3 30 like prime time pool you see the like hot waiter who's been there all weekend just be like like fuck so he he goes grabs it and then they fucking send in the suits like guys come in in the like also men in black shit some men in black shit kind of being like what happened and those guys i don't think they kick them out but i think the vibe was like it's time to go right right right like i don't think they're gonna kick you out because half of them are staying there probably they can't do that but then we were talking so then they come in they should they should also i i feel like the energy at the pool all the guests there shamed them and you know they wouldn't be able to enjoy themselves because everyone would be just like you guys are fucking idiots you ruined today you can't go swimming you know my kid can't go swimming luckily there were no kids there which is surprising because there usually is so that so then they walk around the pool and they they have to tell people to get out like and then they tell us like hey the pool's closed for the rest of the day and they tape it off with like security tape and then the one of the the security one of the boss guys is standing by us and i'm like what, like, how does this work?

10:06Like what happens? You have to drain the pool. He's like, no, but you have to like, somebody has to come and like basically like run suction. It depends on the breakage story. Yeah, you have to like go underwater and run suction along the base of the pool. And I was like, what is that? What are we looking at? He's like, well, it could be 20 or 30. I'm like$1 ,000? And he's like, yeah, because it's like so specialized and it's a Saturday afternoon. You know, it's like, this is just what it is. so then my question was the rush job the rush job but then my question is like they handled it you know they handled it with grace like the guys got out of there there was no kerfuffle it was handled very well and then i'm like dude what if this drunk guy has to go back to his hotel room with his bitchy wife and be like we're about to get hit with a twenty thousand dollar room charge because i took a champagne flute to the pool and i was drunk with the homies and when i went to reach for a camel light i fucking knocked the glass over that is a conversation that no man

11:04Jason Stewart:wants to be in that moment i felt sorry for him i wonder what the legal ramifications are if you know all the terms and conditions that you sign when you when you check into a hotel room is there specific language in there that if you break glass in the pool you are responsible for paying i'm sure it's not that specific but i'm sure that they are legally covered somehow yeah but one of this guy you know this guy calls his dad you never know jesus christ but it was if it was an interesting it was interesting these guys are all straight looking oh bro is like the most bro i'm almost the biggest call out that i have of all this is that they were all drinking aperol spritzes well caroline was shocked by that too and i forget that you guys don't live in new york where like if you go to the west village every guy in the west village is drinking aperol spritz and they're straight it's just like bro shit yeah but a guy hanging out drinking in the west village isn't straight they know they are i'm telling you this is a this is a new kind of guy okay like it's just like it's just like a it's like a combination between a straight and a gay guy no no it's not no it's not a poly it's like a it's just like a it's like the same we're not talking about them we're talking about dudes that look straight no these are the most regular guys of all time but it's it's because of like i mean people drink a lot of aperol spritzes in la as well this but this is a this is guys who are like how do i explain it it's like vacation stuff it's like that's the vibe it's like guys that like jay gallagher just wrote about this i haven't read it yet but the have you seen the hats that are really popular with the high crown that just say the city name written upside down yeah he's like have you seen this i'm like of course i've seen this in charleston and nashville it's those guys but because they're at like a nice you got it at the airport they're in a nice hotel they're at they're doing or they're in italy or they're in greece they're not going to order a fucking michelob ultra so they they get an aperol spritz because also you can drink them all day and not get super fucked up it's what i've been told because it's not the alcohol it's not crazy like you're not having you know i just wonder i mean because like i guess the la people who fit this bill like people that hang out with our friend dano and palos verdes you know rich guys and they're i mean i feel like those dudes because they're a little more kind of republican coded over there it's it's michele bultras maybe a cut water or truly feeling loose or whatever and then in between we're doing let me say this 1942 shots and or 1492s and whatever let me say this let me say this i don't think they would ever do this at home okay i think this is i think this if you're at the homies pool you're you're doing shots of fucking i think you're allowed to aperol spritz if you leave the country if you're vacationing domestically and you're in a group full of dudes and they're only drinking aperol spritzes it's too good this episode of how long gone is brought to you by better help better helps 2026 state of stigma report surveyed 2000 proud americans and revealed that 85 of americans believe getting support is wise yet 74 say society discourages people from doing so hell no that's bs that's absolute BS.

14:16The gap between believing mental health support and actually seeking it seems like a problem to me. And I think in our circles, Jason, everybody's encouraging everybody to get help in any way they can.

14:27Jason Stewart:Yeah, in any way you can. And nowadays, we don't have any friends that we can lean on or family. We don't want to talk to them. And that's where BetterHelp comes in, Chris. Over 30 ,000 therapists are able to chat with you about whatever is going on with your life, work stress relationships whatever it might be and just talking to anyone about it will help open up those breakthroughs because you got to kind of get there yourself and a professional will help you get there much faster than one of your dumb family members and this works an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 stars for live sessions with better help based on over 1.7 million client reviews so don't let stigma stand in the way of support.

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16:43Jason Stewart:That is ShipStation.com, code HOWLONG. ShipStation.com, code HOWLONG. Taxes and fees do apply. Every guy had an Apple Spritz. I've never had one. That trend didn't exist when I drank. I've never had one. It doesn't, the color - You got this fishball wine glass with ice cubes in it. It just reminds me - Look, I agree. I don't think the color puts me off. Too unnatural. Well, on that note, last night we went to Bar Diabello. And Al sort of forced us to have the giant Negroni. Oh, that's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As well as we had a nice pasta moment. They have this server there who's kind of like an older Mexican guy.

17:29Jason Stewart:Just amazing. Like those kind of legacy servers like Musso and Franks or whatever. just know the game in and out very confident and they have this oracate ragu pasta and we were talking about you know this and the limone and i was like oh this pasta mas chingo and kind of thing and he and we had a laugh and we were explaining what it meant to carolyn it's kind of just like big dick pasta you know like the the man the jefe whatever sure but they have this they have this big dick cocktail it's a negroni instead of a large goblet cup with a giant ice cube in there and then i don't know there's probably like three negronis inside of it and then you drink it like a big chalice kind of thing but it's not meant to be shared this is just like barbasa like milan maybe yes maybe no okay so if the girlies i've i've had it twice one time it was um in a four foursome and we passed we passed around with the homies everyone got a taste okay everyone gets it You could also just have it.

18:31But everybody doesn't put their straw in at once.

18:34Jason Stewart:There is no straw. That's the problem. Okay. I'm sure you could ask for a straw. We're passing it around lip on glass. Intimate. I don't know what a Negroni tastes like, but it seems so popular. But do you get drunk as hell? Yeah. Well, the reason why, it's three alcohols. Yeah, sure. Oh, I see. There's no dead weight. There's no dead weight. There's no dead weight. So, yeah. But, I mean, it was good. It was delicious. but man i was i was thinking that you know when you go to those like korean barbecue places or like thai kind of drinking establishments they have those long cylindrical plastic tubes with like 11 beers in it and then there's a little spigot at the bottom and an ice cube that runs in the middle of it to keep it cold without watering it down let's do a little kind of victorian version of it like you know a found glass and brass table ensemble and then that's filled with negroni and there's just a little spigot well and you pour that into your little mini kind of like stemware and you just enjoy it in a more civilized manner there's a heard shareability there's a lot of i've i get fed a lot of like male influencer guys who like sort of just get ready to go places you know they're just like they're like all right i'm going out like all my friends are married i'm going out of town this weekend it's like this good-looking black guy who lives in like the corniest apartment you've ever seen and he packs his bag full of like the cheapest clothes with the cheapest apothecary.

20:02He puts on his underwear that like he got for free from being an influencer. And then before he stops, before he hops in the car to go to the airport, he goes into his, I saw this this morning. First of all, he shows himself in the shower, like cleaning himself. Packs all his, you know, the backpacking videos where it's like everything. And he puts it on the bag, puts a suitcase. And then he, before he goes, everything but the gun he grabs a to-go cup from his his kitchen goes over to the wall in his kitchen he has several bottles of alcohol tapped on the wall of his kitchen okay makes a margarita for the road goes live in nolan's no definitely not this guy definitely lives in like columbus ohio okay and he makes a margarita with but imagine going to a guy's house and he's got liquor tapped on the wall like it's hanging on the wall in the kitchen is it like upside down bottles that have a little yeah crank shots out of yeah yeah that is like that is the most like sure i guess that's practical if you really be drinking like that and he tries to do a couple tricks too while he's making it you know what i mean he's like spinning it over i'm just like i don't think this is doing what you think it's doing if a woman sees this i think it's the

21:18Jason Stewart:opposite actually i even even the homies who are career drinkers are going to be like a little much you can just pour it into the you don't need this just pour it like what you need it constantly tapped at all times people love a diy project i know but like what is the actual like are you saving time what is actually the point of that besides you're only doing it for the look that's the craziest part the worst part is why he's doing it i guess what i'm saying if his girlfriend is allowed to have a little rubber dongle that attaches onto her Stanley Cup that has a little thingy that does nothing.

21:50You can hold the lip gloss and the fucking phone.

21:52Jason Stewart:He's gonna have the same thing. If my Skylark phone case can fit a raw 3.5 hog leg in it, you know, who am I to not fill it up? I also saw a guy who was getting his car ready. He had like a he had a new Ferrari, like the Ferrari SUV, and it's like a adult man packing all of the supplies he keeps in organized mesh zipper folios for his car so it's like a first aid kit but also like sanitary wipes and mints and gum and then he uses the little gooey thing to clean out the cup holder have you seen that it's just like you guys dude this is a two hundred thousand dollar car don't be you're already a loser because you have this just go to the car wash bro and you know what if you need if you need to go to the gas station and get some mints just get them when you need them unless you are a professional driver yeah you don't need to have all that stuff and especially if you're a guy who has a ferrari typically it's to hopefully impress some women and some dudes as having every kind of nothing drives up the pussy more than having a device specifically to get all the little bits of debris having having a fucking google pixel charger available just in case is like what dude what like you drive this car you're not Bro, don't sleep on Android, pussy.

23:11No, I would never. I know. I would never. That's the Nissan Ultima of pussy. I get that. But I'm just saying that it seems like you drive...

23:20Jason Stewart:You got the Android and the charger. You got to wiggle to get it to hold.

23:29You ain't bringing her home to mama. That's for sure.

23:33Jason Stewart:Your eyes ain't never going to uncross after that, brother. so i know you don't want to talk about this so i'll go quickly through it but people want to know the report after we visited our dog psychic with bean oh no no i'm fine with it i'm fascinated by i mean i feel bad for ryland i think he opened up a fucking can of worms that you can't close but he opened up the dog psychics pandora's box and i hope he's getting a kickback i think he's he's getting more questions than answers at this point and i don't know if he's getting a kickback Maybe, of course, celestially. I meant more from God. I know this woman's not going to break him off.

24:10Jason Stewart:What if he just wakes up tomorrow, got a Zelle for$18 ,000? Just like a little something for you. Just want to let you know I like rocking with you. No, it just drops off a new dog. I got you another one. She's like, actually, I'm so powerful. I could fix your dog. I just didn't want to, but I went ahead and your dog's all good now. We're straight. What was Bean's? I mean, I know Bean has several problems. so what were the problems you were trying to address with the psychic so there bean doesn't have any problems necessarily is more of like it was a it was a traumatized rescue dog okay um even though we've had the dog since covid so six years at this point still is very apprehensive of us you know she doesn't let us like go up to her and like pick her up and pet her and stuff like that if i'm laying down on the bed or on the couch then she'll let me but because you're docile you're not a threat if i'm horror if i play a horizontal i pose no threat to her and she's all good she'll snuggle with us in bed and you know a perfect dog otherwise but if she's just standing there and i bend down to pet her on the head she will she doesn't run away and hide under the couch but she like floyd mayweather she's ducking and dodging my shit and if you go to pick her up she will fight she will as if she's being captured by ice like i see it is fight or flight trying to get away from being picked up so we wanted to know like why you know why why is this what the damage though what the damage and she said that uh in bean's younger life when she was a junkyard dog with her litter of brothers to be clear this guy junk this junkyard dog weighs like 20 pounds just to be clear this dog weighs more like 10 okay less it's a 10 pounder a little kind of jack russell whip it chihuahua trio it's a nice blend handsome little dog um and she she was like yeah being when she was a you know a young a young dog some like local kind of shitty teens were like fucking around with the litter like found it you know they said that they found these dogs like literally like behind a dumpster like a auto body shop or something like that okay so like a banded litter of puppies and then uh apparently bean was drop kicked by a teenager in her early life and that has traumatized her so much bro what yeah dude honestly man i know that i am i know that people see me as heartless and and an absolute monster that is some of the that kind of shit like teenage boy animal torture is the darkest shit one of the dark that's so dark like that guy's gotta get that guy's gotta get something that something bad's gotta happen to him that's what carolyn was saying she was we gotta take off a hand karmically speaking yeah you know i'm sure this teen's life is not like that's so awful but growing up i mean it doesn't happen as much nowadays no because on their phones like i don't need to torture an animal i can do it on roblox we were kids you would every neighborhood had the kid that like lights the cat on fire and shit yeah absolutely that's like i mean that to me i put a freaking m80 in a cat's butt yeah that's that's let the dog lick peanut butter off my nuts it's the same well you know that was more of a victimless crime but i'm just saying those two things the dog doesn't know that it shouldn't be the dog doesn't know that those two things though happened at every high school in this country no matter what no matter where you're from what where what your economic background was that is a story my My homie who I saw a dog.

27:43Jason Stewart:You said this, and that's crazy. He is living a fruitful life. He's gainfully employed with a beautiful wife and child. Do you think they know about this? Do you think they know? Do you think his wife knows? I think it's 50-50, and I don't think that she would necessarily care if she might not. I mean, I'm not saying she's going to divorce him, but do you think she would maybe think differently? I think it's more like, I'll use my friend Dano as an example. I'm not talking about him, but he's a wild and crazy guy. Yes. His wife has seen it all. And if you're like, oh, back in college, he did this.

28:22Jason Stewart:She'd be like, yeah, probably. I've seen him do that a thousand times. I got three kids with this motherfucker. I don't care what he, I've seen him do worse than his thirties. Yeah. That type of shit. So all that is to say, you kick a dog, you're going to lose a leg somehow. You get kicked in your own way. Something's going to happen to you. You give a dog delicious peanut butter, the Rizzlers peanut butter. You're actually right, yeah. You know what? That's a good point. We transcend. And also, a little dog doesn't know the difference between a kneecap and a nutsack. That's true. That's true.

28:50That's true. Actually, I don't know.

28:52Jason Stewart:When we do another consultation with Bean, that'll be my first question. Great idea. Okay, so we learned that that's the trauma. Bean wanted to let us know. She's very treat-motivated. So hold on, just to be clear, this psychic is the medium. She's speaking to Bean, and then Bean's words are coming through her to you guys. Yes, yes, yes. Okay, got it. So Bean does not speak English. Bean does not, you know. Only Wapanese. Dogs are colorblind. They can, you know, all those things. So obviously, who knows what's really happening because we're talking to a pet psychic over Zoom. Of course. Sure, sure.

29:29Jason Stewart:I'm just trying to understand the lay of the land. Yeah, yeah, yeah. so first off bean wanted to let us know that she should get more treats because okay hold the fuck on because she and she made this clear that she is not fat apple don't fall far from the tree do it dude that is so funny so you're telling me this little dog said not because i've been good or not because I see mommy and daddy having so many treats basically like I'm not fat give me a treat I'm skinny and I'm eating good I could eat more give me more okay I I mean work hard play hard as far as as far as things that are being translated through a dog psychic that's pretty okay sure we can do that that's that's manageable stuff also you know the the dog thinks that she's more of kind of like a princess and would in mind some more kind of girly colors with the home decor as well as so for example you know a little i was telling carolyn like do i'm assuming this is a little bit of a legally blonde type home decor yeah yeah so the bed is going to be you know a hot pink we're going barbie mode l woods barbie mode you know paris hilton 2003 so then we're like so are we talking like chihuahua in a tutu and a tiara kind of thing and she was like no no no to be clear i don't want to wear any clothes and but my harness if it was a purple or a pink one that's good if you want to keep right now she's got kind of like a khaki and brown tonal piece it's a little it's it's a little u.s army for her maybe i mean i thought it was a little little more tasteful than that like a little i don't know desert tech i mean like tactile feeling i i think i mean technical it's it's it's khaki with a with a brown rib lining so that could be i don't know erl or something that's fine i don't know so she was like if you want to keep that same you know brown harness you can accessorize it a little bit

31:48Jason Stewart:but but no clothes if you want to accessorize the harness and the leash and shit go for it but no i need to ask you i need to ask you a question about you when this is happening when you're on with this chick you're fully straight-faced like you're taking this as seriously as like do you No, we were having a blast. Did she like that, though? Or was she like... We were all laughing the entire time. Okay, that's good. I didn't know if this was like some shit. Except for the dropkick chapter of the story. Sure, of course, of course. A little more tears. Well, did you already hit Mr. Porter to look at the purple Bottega leash?

32:28Jason Stewart:The purple harness was acquired, and Bean's going to try it out tomorrow, I guess. And do we think this will be, the way Ryland's story went, there was an immediate shift. Do we think that you strapped this perp on, all of a sudden, this dog is letting you pet? I don't know. I think it's a slow process. Also, she said, if you do have to pet me, approach me from behind, not from the front. and then under, you know, like scratch me on the tummy from behind. And then that was a little freak. I know. I don't know if the from behind was the exact words that you put a little sauce on it. No, I'm trying to de-sexualize this as much as possible.

33:18Jason Stewart:Not doing a good job. I'm not doing a great job with the material. I'm doing what I can. But she was saying like, but this is a sort of like standard dog stuff. like they don't like hand coming down on the top of the head yeah i get that it's like a just feels aggressive like feels aggressive so from behind hands scooping up under the belly and rubbing and i tried it a couple times great result okay the the look on the dog's face is is very calm and chill also she said whenever i go out of town like whenever we drop her off at the dog sitter or whatever it'd be nice to know how many darks i'm going to be on for which is how many nights because we're like we're i were like i know we told her we always like tell that's an extremely problematic way to say going out of town it's a child like no i mean saying how many it's it's more like caveman speak oh no i understand what are you going to check into a hotel like it's gonna be six days and and five nights and uh you know so how but how are you supposed to communicate how long are going to be gone to a dog that's a great question i don't think it's pop bolt okay so basically that we did not get that far actually like we're gonna go drop the dog off at the sitters tomorrow okay can you ask bean if she likes going there if she hates going there whatever and there's two different ones there's like our neighbor that she loves and it's all good and there's another one that we go to it's more of like a dog party thing where it's like an outdoor space where there's like 10 or 20 dogs i was familiar with this like a business than like a private home and she was like i like going there but the next time can i just go for a day trip i don't need to spend the night at that one but this house i'm down to spend the night and then we're saying like oh you're gonna go to this house it'll probably be for a couple days and then she's like well how many nights is it gonna be and like pushing back on the info and is like well is it two days or is it two nights and she's and she you're telling me you're telling me your dog's going fucking travel agent mode on your ass trying to yeah she's so she's she has the whatever inside of her that wants to know specifically how many days and nights she will be gone for to i don't know to pack accordingly yeah plan but yet she calls them darks as if she's a Cro-Magnon man.

35:40Jason Stewart:How many moon time until water come type of language. Dude, what the fuck? Alright. There's more. Don't worry. There's more. And then she also said the next time I go out of town, it would be really helpful if you put some of, like an old shirt or some socks or whatever. This is like when a one night stand steals your hoodie, bro. This is like she's trying to sleep in your LA apparel. The Cornell hoodie stays on dude what you gotta leave a little scented oh man it was just a simple request if we have the time throwing a wife b in there whatever it is sure nothing too crazy yeah sure sure sure we don't need the you know soil draws yeah just a little something of the just something our scent to give the pheromones and then um she also said there's a there's a i was like why do you why do you always bark when there's something going on outside and the dog was like i need a job like give me something to do otherwise i'm gonna be overly protective of the house and then she also said she hears sounds in the house like in the attic above and i and and then carolyn was like is it like maybe spirits and i was like oh no i was gonna go rats but it's probably yeah i mean or whatever i was like can you tell bean that if she hears anything in the attic if it's a mouse or whatever that you there's no need to bark a bark about it because you know i'm not going to go up there and get none of us none of us are going up there the mouse is not going to come down and kill us we're not going to go up there and kill the mouse you know it's all good and the and then the psychiatrist was like well you know or i think maybe we asked like would it would Would it make Bean feel better if we maybe saged the home of spirits?

37:35Jason Stewart:And Bean said, that would be nice if you don't mind. Dude, because I walked into your house. I was looking at the stuff on the counter. I'm like, Carolyn, did you buy fucking sage sticks on Amazon? I was like, what year is it? And then now it all makes sense. Look, Bean, she's not fat. She's a princess. Let her sage a little bit. I mean, this is kind of, you know what? My biggest segue from this is this is the most LA-ass dog of all time. That's all I'm getting here. And it's a real nature or nurture because people say that like, specifically cats have like weird bacterial DNA that can literally take over their owner's brains in like a literal like mind melding control thing where the bacteria that runs the life of the cat can sort of telepathically make the owner do things that the cat wants to do.

38:28Jason Stewart:and i think there's a little exchange between pet and owner but i think the fact that all roads lead back to just like if you give me more treats everything's gonna be all good yeah yeah yeah it's a little like it's so basic and rudimentary that it almost makes it more believable that i agree that bean is just saying like yo tell these motherfuckers if you just keep giving me treats that's sort of the answer to all the problems whatever problems you got my attitude shitting in the house eating garbage on the street all you gotta do whatever it is nerd ropes and i'll be happy drip down keep me give me the new phoebe filo flip-flops take me out to dinner so this is this is the equivalent of a chick being like well if you're gonna date me i gotta get hair and nails done every week but the thing i wonder how you want me to have fun at petco i wonder how far it could go like the california if bean starts you talk to the psychic again the psychic's like she actually requested crushed ice in her bowl like like they do at coffee bean like how bad i wonder how crazy yeah can you ask bean if her bone broth temperature is to her liking like what if she started telling you guys that she can't ride in the car with you because they're not electric like how how bad like how cali swag could she wants this will let you know that she's too embarrassed to be in the cybertruck yeah like how bad support for today's episode of how long gone comes from square you're probably familiar with it jason you you spend money the business the square is the business platform that helps sellers become neighborhood favorites whether you're gearing up for a busy season or just trying to keep up with everyday demand square keeps your business running smoothly from payments and pos to online orders inventory staff and more all in place.

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41:02Jason Stewart:Again, that is Square, S-Q-U-A-R-E dot com slash how long start with Square and build a setup that grows with your business. I always thought it was interesting that Bean will sit in our cozy house on a fluffy bed with air conditioning and water and treats and be kind of like anxious and nervous. She said that Bean's adrenals were often firing very high because of her trauma and anxiety and all that stuff. and i was like why is it that the one time that she's a normal dog is when you're in the backseat of the car and she said that the literal like rocking motion of being in a car especially when i'm driving just soothes her so like she'll be full like panic attack cortisol spike craziness backseat of the car for 30 seconds she's she's laid out just so much i mean that makes sense yeah that makes sense yeah and um so yeah we're gonna get some more treats going and and see what happens with our that's a very that's a very affordable funny thing to do yeah it was and i was telling other people that are asking i was like it it's it was like 60 bucks for a half an hour it's so fun and also the woman is like a dog expert so even if you don't believe in the woo woo stuff of it all she'll say like oh if your dog has this problem then like this this doctor i know you know this spray yeah yeah like we'll recommend there's some value no matter what so it's like having a consultation with the cesar melan type person but she also a medium too yeah but i think her i think her phone is ringing off the hook a little too much so let's we we got to give it a couple weeks before yeah that i'm sure this is a gift and a curse for her this woman said she's been a dog psychic for 28 years and she has been booked out two weeks the whole time like this is just her full-time job i mean people like their pets too much it doesn't that doesn't totally if you have a good rep like if you're if you're if you people are like yo she's the real deal and it's 60 it's like yeah fuck it but she could run the i mean yeah you're not making that's you do that shit six days a week run them back to bite it's not bad it's a tidy little sound do we know where she lives i don't know somebody else sent me a message and then we'll move on from pet psychiatry but uh it was a crazy story there's a tortoise that lives in glendale apparently this tortoise has been living here for like 40 years and it had a backyard set up and it was all good the owners had like you know beautiful produce growing and veggies and the and the tortoise would eat the stuff and it was a beautiful situation neighbors next door were doing construction on the house and the people were playing like mariachi i guess yeah maybe some cumbia some some latin music and like after a few days the tortoise tore up the whole backyard the tortoise out of nowhere you know has been living in peace for decades in this backyard out of nowhere wreaking havoc on the place ripping the shit up fucking all the stuff up calls the psychic this and they said the tortoise does not like the music that these roofers are playing and could you have them switch it to top 40 not saying that's so specific not saying tell these beaners to shut this shit off like every other person in la saying would it would you mind if they switched it to top 40 they switch it to top 40 problem solved i mean i guess and you hear these stories and you're like yes this is all kind of makes sense though i was talking to rylan he's a smart logical guy i'm halfway pragmatic as well and we were like even whatever door you try to open to try to reverse engineer the logic of it there's nothing that really is strong enough to grab onto or like you know if you she's going like this woman is going off of like a handful of photos of the dog we're not we're doing a zoom call or a phone call but there's no the dog is not in the room the dog is not in invisible at all i could just be sitting in a car parked in the middle of the costco parking lot beans in another state this woman's in another state and she's able to just i know i trust this i believe all of this i'm in on this woman i'm in on this woman and tortoises notoriously are violent tortoises are they can be violent yeah they look docile but they're not no no no they're they're little beasts um so yeah that's what's going on with uh with our pet psychiatry i'm glad you got it i'm glad that you i'm glad you did it before everything popped off you know what i mean you got in you got a little head start make sure that tortoise isn't eating any of that taco bell lettuce guys dude i can't hear about this anymore i know they're saying new york's being punished we were watching these flooding videos about pool yesterday being like this is this real like i was that's like down the street but it's over now just from a storm right yeah but well some people were saying that god let new york have too much fun and he had to he had to reel it back in because the summer has been so litty he had to reel it back in which is true but can you with the lettuce issue i am i'm assuming that there's no way this could be actually just at taco bell i don't think so like there's the distributor is the distributor that shit's going to all the grocery stores all the there's no way probably not not all but you know what i mean but there i mean i'm sure taco bell sells enough lettuce to where they have their own you know whatever sources distributors farms that you know maybe the the majority of their business is taco bell lettuce only and you could trace it's all traceable back to origins and you can get pretty pretty deep into it i know with like meat and stuff like that but i mean you know if you're eating lettuce at taco bell you're kind of already experiencing a somewhat of a diarrhea base level in your life and it's very similar to covid of like do i just have a cold or yeah you know can i not taste for a month like do you like how how diarrhea is this how bad is this yeah i mean i i think that the the taco bell of it all does feel pretty ironic i would say um but dell head stay winning on this one yeah i'm sure it's yeah don't eat the lettuce at dell talk i'm sure it's so different no as long as you don't eat meat or vegetables from these restaurants you are okay just stick with beans and cheese and tortilla and you're good that's good advice actually yeah that's good advice honestly like i've always led with my heart for all of those places never eat beef from a taco bell or or a del taco or any yeah something similar to that that's a that's a reasonable that's a reasonable um i pulled up a hunter biden quote what's hunter up to he said um i believe it's sort of in uh we were talking about lindsey grandpas and when it's in that vein i believe the biggest problem in america is not the oligarchy it's the closet oh yeah yeah everybody knows there is a closeted gay mafia largely republican that exists in washington dc the only reason that is relevant is i believe the inner internal conflict creates so much vitriol inside a person that they take it out on the rest of the world and this is a thing that i've believed for a long time which is why i want all my closeted toxics to be freed well you think as i've said before you think everyone's gay so this isn't helping period but in dc i mean i think that's probably true i don't know if it's i don't know i mean this feels a little conspiracy there's a secret cabal of gay i mean it's a little much but it's an exaggeration but we gotta ham it up i think there's been many politicians congress people people in power in general who everyone is like this guy's kind of gay but and they're sue or like religious figures doth protest too much doth protest too much and unfortunately somehow they're all in charge of our our country currently i don't know if um yeah they can't god won't let them come out bro would aoc be better no no i had to hear her talk about something you had to i try never to listen to her talk and she did they stopped in the street and asked her a question about like last time she cried in a movie and she told some story about some i don't even know what the fuck it was about but I was like I hate how you sound like I hate how you like I don't like the way you talk like the cadence the sound of your voice I don't like it it's not leadership to me it's bartender it's a thing um and be in terms of the smell test that humans have there's certain ways that people talk like the way she talks affects you in such a negative way and I think that is just going to cripple a person forever because deep down we all know that you can't change that no it's just like inherently inside of you and if you can never change or fix that people are going to have their mind made up about you before you even have a chance republicans have their mind up about her until they see the yabbos and then they they switch up a little bit that's the only damn shame if these republicans are all so gay how come they like aoc's titties so much i mean i think they're just looking for the silver lining anywhere they can famously republicans are always looking for the silver lining wherever they can you know that you know that i agree with that um i was thinking about the the sort of 20 year trend cycle that we all sort of experience and realize what's going on um and i was thinking about it's been about 20 years now where every like band or artist or whatever would first of all remove the vowels from their name of course you know you got your master crafts your star fuckers or whatever where you have the cool name maybe it's your coffee shop or whatever it is black label just blk lbl or all that stuff but then i was thinking about the even more sinister where you switch the two first letters of of the two words so instead of like kurt well not kurt command that's a bad one but instead of jimmy hendrix it'd be himi jendrix oh yeah yeah yeah yeah you know what i mean this was that was a thing and there i'm trying to think of the ones there was some there's there's calm trues oh yeah yeah that feels that was like electronic leaning right it was yeah it was a little more electronic leaning and if that and so i'm now i'm wondering since like nobody cares about branding bands or anything like that anymore we're in it where music and artists have sort of moved on from that but like the tech worlds and the ai world i'm wondering if we're going to start getting like venture capital funds and ai companies definitely i mean i'm sure there's a lot of them already that have no vows but how long until we see a vc firm where it's like first letters venture vapitalists type shit like what's who's going to be the don't give them ideas i somebody i mean everybody's been talking about this merch this week the look with the with the ald photo shoot you know what i mean oh it's the the open ai yeah the research shirt i mean i was just like looks like 2017 people were just so i'm like dude what are you like like these guys are so behind that that is probably the first time they saw something they like the reason those pictures look like that is because that's the first time they saw something they liked and bought it it was also the last time they saw something they liked and bought it what do you mean like in terms of you know when that cool hoodie came out with that you know whatever that virgil style of minimal you know let's just put t-shirt on the t-shirt in helvetica that was the first time they saw something and they were like whoa i get it and this is art and i'm gonna buy it all but they are also at the age where their brain stops trying to check for new culture design and artwork.