In short
The hosts riff on celebrity culture and live SmartLess-style events (including Jonah Hill’s onstage “annihilate” remark), wealth and consumerism (ticket prices, giving away items, recession vibes), tech and lifestyle (Starlink vs home Wi‑Fi), comedy and stereotypes (Mary Beth Barone’s “no more straight male comedians” stance), pet discourse (pit bulls vs rottweilers; “dog racism” framing), and personal food/drink observations (mint tea after meals; Americano vs drip coffee).
Guest backgrounds
No formal guests are introduced. The episode is a conversation between Chris Black and Jason (co-hosts). Chris is a London-based producer/creator who discusses his clothing/shorts line. Jason is a comedian/host who talks about comedy specials and travel.
Key claims
Jonah Hill’s aggressive wording at a live event is a promotion/attention trap; Americano “conversion” is a low-care fallback drink; pit bull hate is partly stereotype-based; mint tea is “not for men” culturally (in their view).
Notable examples
Jonah Hill “annihilate” moment; SkinnyPop/SmartLess event setup; a woman stealing expensive rugs; boxed “used” wine; Starlink cost tiers; Mary Beth Barone’s straight-male-comedian comment; pit bull comparisons to police officers; a rude British woman at Granger & Co.; mint tea vs iced lattes in London.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOFashion Choices and Personal Styles
1:06 to 2:52
Discussion about personal clothing choices and styles.
“It means a lot to me when my actual friends purchase and wear the items that I produce.”
Celebrity Culture and Public Perception
2:52 to 4:53
Exploring the impact of fame on celebrities, specifically Jonah Hill.
“but you would never go around picking a fight looking for trouble.”
Smartless Event Insights
4:53 to 7:52
Insights from a live Smartless event and how fame affects performances.
“But I don't know what, okay, so this was a live smart list.”
Anecdotes of Moving and Giving Away Items
7:52 to 11:37
Sharing funny stories about moving and unintentional wine giveaways.
“Bro, you got 80-year-old motherfuckers doing ad.”
Starlink Wi-Fi Discussion
13:32 to 14:03
Conversation about the Starlink service and its implications.
Starlink Wi-Fi and Its Adoption
14:03 to 17:10
Discover the advantages and widespread adoption of Starlink Wi-Fi.
“So I kind of fired it up in the 350 on the way and had some laughs while I was going to get a latte.”
Comedy and Gender Perspectives
17:11 to 19:48
Explore the dynamics of gender in comedy through Mary Beth Barone's special.
“I'm not saying it's not justified or there's no reason for it.”
Pit Bulls and Stereotypes
19:49 to 24:34
Analyze the stereotypes surrounding pit bulls and discussions on their reputation.
“But I sort of, I mean, pit bulls look menacing.”
Observations from Lunch
24:35 to 28:00
An amusing recount of a lunch experience with various characters and conversations.
“You're a bit of an idiot savant when it comes to your dog training.”
Observations on Rude Behavior
28:00 to 31:35
The hosts share an amusing story about a rude British woman and her interactions with other diners.
“I was surrounded, obviously, by several beautiful Saudi women and the men that love them.”
Show all 20 chapters
The Americano Debate
31:35 to 39:20
A discussion about the Americano coffee and its place in coffee culture, including personal preferences and experiences.
“To the point where it was like, why are you talking?”
The Americano Debate
39:22 to 40:25
A discussion about the Americano coffee and its place in coffee culture, including personal preferences and experiences.
“That's better, H-E-L-P.com slash howlong.”
The Americano Debate
40:27 to 41:48
A discussion about the Americano coffee and its place in coffee culture, including personal preferences and experiences.
“Get free shipping and 365 day returns now available in Canada.”
Cultural Preferences for Tea
42:04 to 45:36
The hosts discuss cultural perceptions of tea drinking, particularly mint tea.
“Yeah, I mean, Persian culture, Moroccan culture, a lot of Middle Eastern cultures, even the fellas will drink a fresh mint tea at the end of a meal for digestive purposes.”
Global Beverage Popularity Debate
45:36 to 46:40
A lively debate ensues on whether Coca-Cola or bread is more popular globally.
Travel Tales from London and Copenhagen
46:40 to 49:24
The hosts share experiences from their travels, including food and flight anecdotes.
“So we need like we need a mint pride week to sort of mint tea pride week for fellas.”
Improv Comedy Experience
49:24 to 52:18
Discussion about one host's recent debut in improv comedy and the challenges faced.
“to go to Copenhagen, that flight is what, an hour?”
Reflections on Improv Performance
52:18 to 56:00
Reflecting on the successes and challenges of performing improv in a comedic variety show.
Exploring Improv and Personal Growth
56:00 to 1:02:20
The hosts discuss the challenges and experiences of performing improv and how it contributes to personal growth.
“I'm sweeping the leaves while I'm saying, like, does anybody want me to eat their pussy kind of thing or whatever?”
Upcoming Events and Exciting Announcements
1:02:20 to 1:03:11
The hosts tease upcoming events and plans for the podcast, including a potential DJ party.
“A whole new tentacle on the How Long Gone Octopus.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Jason Stewart:Hey Chicago, class it up with Crocs. You know back to school is coming in fast. So why wait to find your new fave footwear? Step into a local Crocs store and step into your new look. Try it. Style it. Make it yours. Because the right pair doesn't just show up, it shows off. First day fits, handled. Walk out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest Crocs store today.
0:46all right mate uh chris black how long gone coming to you from a beautiful london town them jeans was Gucci, baby.
0:55Jason Stewart:Bro, forgot you were in London until right now. I'm just in Glendale, got my Vans on and my Hanover green shorts on. Let's go. Just trying to figure out how to take a selfie in them for your social media. Thank you, I appreciate that. I'm glad you like the shorts. It means a lot to me when my actual friends purchase and wear the items that I produce. I didn't say I like them. I said I'm... Pop the brakes. Pop the brakes. No one said like. Once I sized down to a double zero and I finally start to understand the cut and the feel of kind of the way they drape on my body. But no, I had an XL. I moved down to an L.
1:34Jason Stewart:And yeah. We found your fit. We found your fit. All right, good. What color? You got green? I went for the Hunter green. I like the back pocket with a little cell phone pocket in the back of the basketball shorts is a nice detail. And they have a nice heavy weight, but they sit very comfortably on the body. the way a, I don't know, like a gi would fit on Jonah Hill's body or something. You know, it's just a second skin in the octagon. I was about to say, if you still think you're talking to the fat Chris Black from Edwards Middle School, I'll annihilate your ass. Just don't forget it, bro. Don't say the A word.
2:13I see where Jonah is coming from, but even I know, as a sober person who doesn't do jiu-jitsu, one of the few left on Earth, I will say that— Hold the line, brother. there's something from what i understand about the martial arts the whole practice is that you don't say shit like i will annihilate the whole thing is like you only use this if you if you're put in a position where you have to you know what i mean yes okay okay i want to make sure especially
2:38Jason Stewart:the calm art of brazilian jujitsu which is has a real trapdoor spider kind of energy don't star none won't be none if you fall into my trap i will break your arm in eight places kind of thing but but you would never go around picking a fight looking for trouble. Yeah, because I only, look, I roll around, you know. With guys who roll around? Yeah, I roll around with homies at We Spa or whatever, but not in the octagon. Different angle, got it. Yeah, yeah, no, but I do think that Jonah. A little less Ruka, a little more Sucka Sucka. Exactly, the other word that ends in A that deals with Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
3:18As much as I would like to get cauliflower ear, I like I said I've resisted it much like the the long distance you know how much pussy we'd be
3:27Jason Stewart:getting if we had a little baby colorful little romesco if I had my born and raised guillon but I but I think that I think that Jonah as we advocate from a lot on this podcast because of his skill as an actor and I think he is unfortunately as he dips his toe back into public life after some mishaps I think he's falling victim to the the relentless cycle of promotion that we also talk about on this podcast yeah if he if he you know he's he's forced to talk and like at a certain point you're going to say some people don't like any of it could happen to any of us it happens to me every week yeah like how could it not happen to him you know the problem is you're on stage with the crowd you are in the in the bosom of the smart list crew so good luck uh not spilling your guts around them yeah and it is a little bit it is a little bit of a testament to how you know disarming and good at interviewing fellow a-list celebrity comedic actors you know that is their sweet spot so they do have a value and i understand why they make so much money but when you're on stage and the and you got will arnett egging you on the crowds eating it up and you are an ex fat guy who's sort of searching for attention like we all are no shade to the j-man but you get up on that stage and people are hooting and hollering and your McGregor starts to come out a little bit.
4:48You start acting up. You start acting up. You start acting up. It feels like, and I know he's not even on Coke. That's the other thing. This feels like, you know.
4:55Jason Stewart:I'll fucking drop all the lots of you. But I don't know what, okay, so this was a live smart list. The problem is, because you go around and you've got the people like the Conor McGregors or whoever who are used to, you know, their chassis is used to that kind of engine inside of them. So they don't walk around. The problem is when you get the Ford Fiesta body with the Lamborghini engine now, and then you start saying things like, I will end you. And then everyone's like, bro, what? Not one of our greatest comedic actors threatening violence. If somebody's like, I will literally annihilate you in a street fight, the whole block goes, ah.
5:35100%. The choice of wording is interesting. Annihilate feels like something that is pulled out of a thesaurus.
5:42Jason Stewart:When the pressure can't hold, it starts to seep out the cracks. Was this at a live Smartless ticketed event? I didn't even know that's where it went down, to be honest. I don't know. I want to say it was at a Spider-Man premiere. They just did a side room that ended up blowing up because the Smartless guys are so big. I don't know. It had a Comic-Con feel to it. I don't know. Very possible. I didn't even see. I only saw that. I didn't see that part of it anywhere, which is good for the Smartless team. you know that they're they're not catching any strays here uh even though they always deserve it no i'm coming around to all to um yeah i don't know i think it was a live smart list and i'm and it's funny because you got jonah here and he's you know he's talking about annihilating people annihilating people with some row loafers on next to a giant bowl of skinny pop um t-shirts rolled up with bags of skinny pop popcorn and i'm like that's cool as hell what's going on here you guys all have way too many tens of millions of dollars is to be doing this but well that's what i i wonder if if you're i would be doing the same 100 if you're at the smart list level i want to walk out and you're like oh fuck there's a giant skinny pop thing next to me yeah whatever you know do you think that they're at a point though because of their immense wealth and success that maybe even when they're looking at the ticket price like should we just give this shit away you know like is it really like but but i guess they obviously have a big staff and people that need to get paid so i and i would not want those people to not get this machine the machine is huge but at a certain point what's the 40 bucks doing you know like where where are we where are we going with this i'm not you know i'm not i'm not saying you got to give it to charity necessarily but it feels like uh at a certain point you know what are we doing because this isn't i mean i guess at this point actually no that's not true i mean they all work a lot as actors this isn't like their main they all work a lot but you know jason bateman he's closer to 60 than 40 and you know he's but Bateman works.
7:39Jason Stewart:He could be an example of an influencer type person in their truly golden years. We are going to get a 70-year-old influencer, right? I mean, definitely. There are plenty. Will it be weird to hear 75 and up people doing Lisa mattress ad reads? That already exists. It's just on Instagram. The amount of old women. Bro, you got 80-year-old motherfuckers doing ad. You've seen this before? I've seen. no no not not that specifically but there are several older women influencers that like look amazing and they're 70 and they have huge huge huge followings online and it's like pretty charming because they sort of i mean obviously it gets to a point she got a fucking she got a rolly on from the korean skincare bag but it gets to a certain point where like oh now you're not like this isn't like dumb luck now it's professional and the charm sort of fades away you know the first for the first hundred thousand followers it's great and then it gets to a point where it's like all right i don't know what we're doing anymore this feels this feels a little bit like a job now yeah that's right a fun job um yeah so what is going on what is going yeah i was i was just walking bean around you know when you see people leaving like piles of shit when they're moving out you see it in new york all the time obviously right that's all it is some rugs leaning over uh what there was like a lady who took some rugs that were drying on a on a little bar did you see that oh because they thought they thought it was trash is that what happened yeah it was like uh it was like a a museum or some a gallery or something they had a bunch of rugs that they cleaned they were drying out on a thing and there it was it was like 12 grand worth of rugs and some woman was like oh sick rugs and just took them all but anyway i was walking bean and there's the normal pile of shit somebody just moved out in a refrigerator some weird furniture and stuff first time i've ever seen this box of wine huh used wine just giving the wine away and i was thinking imagine if you were like 13 years old riding your bmx's around with your friends and you just see a cardboard box full of bottles of alcohol that it almost feels like a danger if to leave this out i would love to enjoy a warm sense air so that sounds yeah i see what you mean i've never seen a box of used wine that had never it does feel like never been open it feels like a trap where chris hansen's gonna pop out as soon as you grab a bottle of it well what is the you're saying these bottles were open this wasn't some no no they were they were they were closed but they had the uh the air or the essence of use because it was in a box on the you know sitting on the dirt next to the spongebob but you would assume these wines are no longer for for a connoisseur like yourself someone who has oh they're corked okay the whispering angel is beyond As a card-carrying member of the Barsecco Wine Club, I know that you would never.
10:30Jason Stewart:I've seen somebody give everything away. I've never seen anyone give alcohol away. No, no. No, I've never seen that either. Is that a recession D indicator? I mean, that's cool. I think to be like, I'm not going to haul this shit around, especially if it's maybe your tastes have changed. Maybe it was all orange wine, and now that's not in vogue. They're like, no, we kept the full-bodied reds, but these oranges have to go. We can't have these in our study at our new home. My wife was like, you can probably just sell them or give them. They're like, no, I just got to dump them now. Yeah, you can't look.
11:00What are you going to do? I mean, there's certain stuff that we've gotten to a point where people sell everything. It's like you want to rent my apartment for two days while I go to my parents' house. It's that sort of where every single thing is for sale no matter how much. And I'm the same way. I'm like, dude, of course I could always use$50.
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11:54Jason Stewart:And that's what I'm interested in as well. Let the reviews help you find who you need to look for. And with over 6 million people, having already used the BetterHelp app globally, this consistent feedback from real users makes it easy to see why so many people continue to use BetterHelp. See the reviews, see what stands out, and see if BetterHelp is right for you. Visit BetterHelp.com slash how long. That's BetterHelp.com slash how long. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, as you know, but some of our listeners might not, Quince specializes in everyday staples that work harder, like their ultra-soft organic cotton tees and premium Mongolian cashmere sweaters.
12:32I like my navy blue V-neck cashmere sweater. I wear it all the time. It's a little hot right now, but it's a go-to. It's versatile, timeless, and it transitions seamlessly from a casual workday to a big dinner out.
12:46Jason Stewart:Yeah, and almost every day you're taking a big dinner, and then afterwards, I like to come home from that dinner, take a nice cold shower, then go into those nice quince sheets with a quince pillow. And they're priced so well that, you know, we can pop them out and get new ones every year and it feels so beautiful. We don't have to sit on those old pillows for so long, fella. Go on quince, get some freshies for when that partner comes over and they're going to say, wow, it's so cool and it smells so clean and nice in here. Upgrade your everyday. download the quince app for app exclusive offers go to quince.com slash how long get free shipping and 365 day returns now available in canada let's go and the uk mate q u i n c e.com slash how long we're back sorry i can't catch a break home away it doesn't matter which field i'm playing on the wi-fi still won't cooperate with me somebody get this guy a starlink okay he's on the go what's the deal with starlink do you have any information i would like more information on the starlink i you're not selling it necessarily but i feel like you've done more research than me on this topic i have done no research i just googled starlink cost dependent on your choice of equipment service plan service is starting at 55 hardware kits ranging from uh two to 350 um or a ten dollar a month hardware rental fee so yeah it looks like okay a mini kit is 200 is this is this politically bad for me though 55 a month is this politically bad for me or is it fine i don't i don't think it's politically wow when you when you go to starlink minikit the the top three resellers bass pro shops home depot and cabela's wow i guess you wanted when you're out fishing motherfuckers well yeah when you you know you need the but i because i i've heard a few like alex and emma took uh united back from aspen and they were like it's the fact because united has starlink on all the are on a lot of the planes now and they said it was unbelievable it was comparable to being at the office that's how good the wi-fi is well i mean it's interesting because uh my my my wi-fi router system probably costs 200 and i spend 90 a month for my my wi-fi and starlink is cheaper by half great and better maybe better well apparently apparently better damn that's big shit all right well fuck it bro i'm in i bought my starlink before elon went crazy yeah that's what i was like do you have to put a sticker on my computer that says that even though nobody knows i'm using starlink my i'm gonna put a sticker on my on my new mansion that says my spacex ipo'd after elon went crazy i'll put that on my on my 20 million dollar yacht i didn't know i i just didn't know it was that of it felt like something it felt like a self-driving car thing where it's like sort of a i didn't know you could actually get it i guess i wasn't aware of its availability at this stage i think it's just starting out and people are installing them into their trucks as well i've seen it they have like like a ford f350 starlink mount which sort of cancels out any masculinity you had by yeah what do you what is the point what do you need powerful wi-fi so you and all of your all all of the the foreman on your ranch can stream all of their shows while they're driving to win to to duncan i don't know i was going to get a coffee and I realized I hadn't watched the new Mary Beth Barone yet.
16:07So I kind of fired it up in the 350 on the way and had some laughs while I was going to get a latte. This worked out great.
16:13Jason Stewart:I got home three minutes faster when I got Barone playing. Foot on the gas, baby. Because she gets me so pissed off. As a straight male comedian, she gets me pissed the fuck off. I'm flooring it. I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to be silenced. Yeah, I did watch the Mary Beth special. I liked it more than I thought I was going to based on the clips and little interview quotes and things I had read. I was scared that it was going to be like 100 % man-hating kind of. No, it was good. I really liked it. But there was a quote that you got. She said, no more straight male comedians for a couple of years when a straight man is talking into a microphone.
16:55Jason Stewart:own i'm physically incapable of listening unless that straight man is seth myers which this feels like a taste and a skill issue marybeth come on you got it you're better than that no she well no i think it's i think it was i don't know if this was a joke but she was on seth myers the next night she was on seth myers so which is pretty funny which is pretty funny it could be a way of her advertising that she is on seth myers which is a flex but um i don't know i guess in terms of all the straight male comedians that she is actually friends with in real life well i think that's why it's more interesting than seth yeah but it's not interesting it's it's only funny as i know uh from personal experience it's only fun to make sweeping generalizations you know you can't be like she made the right choice she's the one being interviewed about her netflix special exactly you can't i'm saying that like when i if i say something is bad i can't go into the details of like well these three are actually okay you know it doesn't do anybody any good it's much more fun to be like straight male comedians are terrible than it is to be like well except for this one except for that one he's at you know it doesn't it doesn't really work the same way for for comedic value and time yeah dude like i guess back in the in the 70s and 80s when men were talking shit about straight women did they ever qualify with like uh you know well a couple of them are cool you know no you can't that's what i'm saying it doesn't work the same way it doesn't well at what point will it be hacky to have everybody make fun of straight males or for straight males to sort of be the uh de facto punching bag for all punchlines i think unfortunately it will because of our reign of terror and uh still holding most positions of power i don't see it going out of vogue necessarily anytime soon but i also think marybeth is smartly speaking to her audience which is mostly i would I would guess women and gay men.
18:45Yeah. You're taking a stance.
18:47Jason Stewart:But I mean, that is true. I agree. I'm not saying it's not justified or there's no reason for it. It's more so like from a comedic standpoint, I think it's more likely that it will be deemed hacky or people will just get tired of it and be in search of new people to spit their venom towards. And I think that'll hopefully shift. I don't watch enough comedy, thank God, to know if this is something that other female comedians are i mean i maybe more just the the overall society in the world just anyone if somebody puts a mic in front of your mouth and you're recording to be on tiktok or instagram reels and you don't know what to do straight men am i right they're the worst i hate them i want them to die that's why i only watch the is this guy gay or not stuff i don't think i don't i don't bother myself with with with the straight no i mean i think you're right it feels like that is low-hanging fruit but again if your audience responds to that it's it's too easy because there's so many of us that are bad and stupid so it is a home it's a home run it's it's it's a shot right down the middle the same way it is sort of like donald trump big orange cheeto he sucks you know it's or it's also same as all pit bulls are dangerous right it's a nasty stereotype that you're talking about chris i'm not super up on the pit bull discourse obviously as a as an animal disliker i don't pay attention to stuff except when we talked about the dog psychic because that was actually fascinating but the the the pit bull discourse is that these dogs are sort of evil and and they maim people but we still have to rescue them because all dogs matter is that the sort of the i don't understand they're just considered mean they do bad stuff is that fair i would say so um we were talking Talking about the John Barenthal quote about how when people hate pit bulls, that's dog racism.
20:45Jason Stewart:Amazing quote. I mean, God level. God level stuff. But I sort of, I mean, pit bulls look menacing. They do. They have the power to kill. They are often used in dog fighting. They have very powerful jaws and are sort of bred to be. Thank you. pause spelled p-a-w-s of course sorry that's that's why marybeth is able to say stuff like that because i can't resist doing shit like that so i i'm proving her point nothing better than a perfectly placed pause i said this at the barber shop yesterday i bet you did a safe space for men thank god those still exist my barber kevin we're talking about um adam adam freeland in front of the show when he had uh rizza from wu-tang on his pod and rizza was like yeah you know so i've been vegan for like 20 years and and adam just goes pause and i was like that and then riz is like what the fuck did you do and then like you know five minutes of uh rolling on the floor laughing vibes when it's it's risky but when when that grenade hits it hits very well um okay so we how are we we were talking about pitbulls do you think john i think john i think john is defending pitbulls because he obviously has had pitbulls his whole life and there are so many oh that's not where I think he's sort of, in many ways, a human pit bull.
22:04And he is, I think that is, he's not going to let you come for his type is what it feels like to me.
22:12Jason Stewart:Okay, so him, Lil Baobau, and Terrence Howard, they're all giving pit bull down, right? And don't forget, the biggest pit bull. In terms of face card. The biggest pit. But you're talking about in many ways. I'm only talking face. You're saying in terms of spirit drive, you know, he's a fighter, can't be contained. Maybe he did a little time in the pen. You know what I'm saying, brother? Exactly. I think before he was sober, he might have even bit someone is what I'm trying to. I don't know that for a fact. Okay. So I'm doing metaphorically and you're doing more literally. Straight ahead, Pitbull.
22:49Yeah. I'm saying Terrence Howard and Lil Bow Wow.
22:50Jason Stewart:He probably bit a guy at some point in his life. Terrence Howard and Lil Bow Wow do look like Pitbulls. I've never thought about that before. but also my pit bull exposure mostly comes from big boy on instagram because he's a pit dealer he raises i didn't know that yeah big boy from outcast big boy from outcast not big boy in the morning not big boy in the morning gang not not gang gang member big boy in the morning i'm talking about big boy from outcast the better boy shut the fuck up right now bro all cribs quiet down um he he famously has like a robust pitbull business and loves the pitbulls and has a lot of cute pits on his ig yeah which is very similar to like i'm the guy who has 38 guns and i respect guns so much and they're so you know powerful and like i'm trying to teach gun education to the future but also at the same time you're a motherfucker who got 38 different guns bro like what is what's going on and say and the same thing with the people what's going on like yes you have all these amazing like i'm sure all of big boys pits are really sweet amazing dogs but you know i think it's a business venture i think it's a no i'm saying i think for him it's more i think it's more of a like oh you have wing stops so you're saying he doesn't love those dogs chris no no hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey no no no i'm not saying that i think he's a wonderful father to his his human and dog children i would never go against the the dungeon family you know that's in my blood um i'm not unfortunately i'm not i don't have a chain or anything like that but you know i respect them from my you know from one atlian to another somebody asked you to hold one for a while you would you would totally do it if big boy texted me and said can you hold a pit for me it's hot right now i would hold his pit i would hold i would hold a pit if i had to for big boy i wouldn't walk bean if you gave me a thousand dollars but big boy asked me to hold a pit i would have to do it okay so he said all right we got miss miss jackson the third i'm just what's what's his pit bull name i don't i don't know he's like hey bro i need you to hold something that's hot right now for stank on you i would i would i would go down to it i would foster a pit somebody posted stank on you and turned it into an ai dog fighting flyer and the police are it's sort of like we're gonna get caught if we do it so we just have to kind of i would do that for i would do that for him out of disrespect for what he's done for my city you know i would do i would do that so you're not you're not a weed holder you're a pit holder i would hold a pit i would i would not hold a gun no matter if the serial number is on it or not i'm not stupid but a dog i feel like i could hold for a week until things calm down and then we kind of you know then he owes me one then i could finally get that verse i've been waiting but this is a this is a dog that is bred to kill so that's right do you think you know what jason i I think my lack of experience with dogs would charm even a killer pit.
25:51That's what I think.
25:51Jason Stewart:You're a bit of an idiot savant when it comes to your dog training. I think the pit would realize how stupid I am. And out of not respect, I wouldn't say that out of out of pure. Like, I think they would do me a solid and not tear up any fucking Manolo Blahniks in my house. You know what I mean? Oh, wow. I think out of pity, no pun intended, they wouldn't eat my parents' couch or whatever if I was fostering in ATL. Yeah, I think that's the thing with pit bulls. They're not going to do some little bullshit like that, you know, eat your couch or tear something up. Only a child. They're going to be amazing until your neighbor's grandma, you know, loses a leg.
26:31Jason Stewart:Crosses the property line. That's the problem. I think about pit bulls like police officers. Okay. Sure, there are great examples of lots of good ones out there, but enough of them attack you to be wary of their presence, at the very least. Which dog has a worse rep, Rottweiler or pit bull? Nobody has a worse rep than a pit bull, but a snarling Roddy, a strong second place. Okay, because those scare me more. I don't know why. I obviously have zero experience with either, but a Rottweiler, like a chained-up Rottweiler junkyard dog style is scary. Rottweiler looks like more of a killing machine than a Pitbull.
27:17That's right.
27:18Jason Stewart:Pitbull's more like a garbage disposal. So if you happen to get near it, you're fucked. But a Rottweiler, it looks like a missile that's ready to be launched. Beautiful dogs. that will just track you down. Beautiful dogs. Beautiful dogs. Carolyn loves a nice Roddy. They look nice. They look expensive, which obviously I like when it comes to our four-legged friends. Slay. Slay. Yeah, so... Pitbulls, kill them all. I was sitting next to... So I went for lunch. I woke up a little late today, worked out, I went to lunch, and I was sitting next to at Granger & Co. in Marlebone, which is where I can get eggs in London without any extra shit on it.
28:00People might make fun of me for this. I don't care.
28:03Jason Stewart:Without any watermelon radish? I was surrounded, obviously, by several beautiful Saudi women and the men that love them. But next to me was an old British woman, like a laughably British woman, like hair growing out of a mole on her face. You know, just like looked like she had, you know, had miles on her. The daughter of a chimney sweep. Yeah, she was sitting next to a mother and daughter who were from Italy, but the daughter had gone to school in England and now worked at Goldman Sachs as a banker. Young, this girl is probably 28 or whatever. Wow, okay, it's giving industry. And they're talking, and this British, they're being, they're really chatting about like vacation and where to go and what to do.
28:50And this British woman is being obviously such a bitch to these two women, and they aren't picking up on it in a way that I didn't have headphones. I had to listen to it. So she's like, the girl's like, oh, I went to school. I went to a school in Oxford. And the woman was like, oh, which school? you know and she says some school that's obviously not the famous one you know what i mean and the woman is like oh yeah i've never heard of that and everything is like that she's like oh i work at goldman sachs she's like oh i i had some friends who worked at jp morgan but not not goldman sachs and it just continues like that everything they say this woman finds a way to sort of poo poo it while she's drinking an iced latte which seemed crazy to me that this woman who's knocking on death's door was in Marlebone having a fucking iced latte?
29:41Like, bitch, drink hot coffee or tea. You can't be that old and that mean and drink an iced latte.
29:46Jason Stewart:Okay, I know. So you've got some, you know, her name's Agatha or Beatrice, something like that. You want her to have a Victorian tea cup on a sausage. It's rattling as she moves it to her mouth. This bitch got a banana cold foam. Yeah, you can't. I'm saying if you're an old British lady that's shitting on someone. She's like, I'm so old I still drink soy in my latte. If you're shitting on someone for having a college degree and making a lot of money in finance, you can't be having your banana foam protein shaken, not stirred latte outside at like a kind of corny white girl brunch restaurant. Like you just can't do that.
30:30It was shocking.
Read the full transcript
30:30Jason Stewart:How bad did you wish that you were these Saudi Oxford graduates where you had the ability to clap back at Mavis and say... She needed a clap back so bad. Because she was also being mean to the waiter. She's like, I need water with ice right this moment. And I was just like, bitch... British bitch who wants ice? Exactly. Oh, hell no. Exactly. Something wasn't adding up, Jason. Something was not... Something ain't right with this. And this restaurant was busy as fuck also. It's like these people are obviously being rude to the waitstaff is a deal breaker across the board. But for this chinny chin, chin hair having bitch to be talking like this to my friendly Italian women and also being rude to the staff while drinking banana foam matcha latte.
31:17I was just like, you got to get out of here. You're a bad person. You're mean. And I didn't like it at all. I didn't like it one fucking bit.
31:26Jason Stewart:Yeah. Let it spray, Chris. It'd be so funny if you fucking posted a picture of her and like doxed her. It was just crazy. The way she was talking to them, everything they said, she found a way to say something that she thought was a better version of what they were saying. To the point where it was like, why are you talking? Like, what do you think is going to happen? You think they're going to change their course of life and do what you tell them? Like, where do you think this is going? It was baffling to me. Yeah. And right now with all this, all the stuff going on right now in the world, it's rare.
31:57Jason Stewart:it takes a lot for you to want to defend the Saudis. No, these were Italians. These were Italians. Oh, okay. Well, never mind. Not people I want to defend usually either, though. I mean, to be fair, I like Italy as much as the next guy. Less than the next guy. Speaking of iced lattes, I'm dialed in with my fellow espresso machine. A lot of people want some coffee updates. Don't say a lot of people want. You sound like a chick being like, everybody's been asking me where I got this dress. Here's the link. Nobody asking you for shit, but go ahead. Please go ahead. The amount of coffee fucking gooners in my DMs who are, you know, what kind of grinder did you get?
32:39No, I know. There's people. No, I know exactly what it is.
32:41Jason Stewart:I did sound like Melanie from Ghia right now. You guys are all asking me about where I got my bracelet from. But I will say in your defense, I know that there are several listeners of this podcast that want to correct anything that you or I have to say about coffee. So I take back. I do think they're trying to correct you in a negging tone. I do think that. It's a negging tone because just like any type of dark path that you can go down as a male collector. I got my first vintage 911 project car. I got this old. And then all the car people come out of the woodworks. Welcome. Welcome down. And like we're all in the cesspool of coffee now.
33:25Jason Stewart:And it's like a black pill kind of brotherhood that you enter where you're like, I'm going to spend$1 ,800 on like a aluminum circle thing that clicks. I like the clicky sound of it. It agitates the pH level, whatever it is. But all that is to say, oddly enough, I've found myself becoming an Americano enjoyer. I'm drinking Americano. That's disgusting. Isn't that weird? This is the worst outcome that could possibly have come from this experiment. But what do you think it is? What do you think has turned you into the fake iced coffee lover? I think it's because, well, because the Americano, it's just making a cup of coffee with an espresso machine instead of a coffee maker or a pour over.
34:11Jason Stewart:You just add hot water to a shot of espresso. It ends up tasting kind of like coffee. it's typically more darker uh you know kind of bitterly vibes if it's an espresso i don't know i think mostly you have an americano it's not something that you order from like a high level coffee place right like you don't go to maru and get an americano it's just kind of a weird i think i think several guys that are still wearing birkenstock boston's are doing exactly that jason but i think that the what does that mean exactly i just mean there's a certain kind of guy that thinks the Americano is superior to a regular cup of coffee or a cold brew, and it's just not.
34:50And I think that if you prefer it, that's fine. But I do think there's some sort of, there's a certain kind of person that prefers it. And I think there's, I haven't done enough digging to know the other traits of their personalities, but I don't want you to become that. Whatever that is, I don't want you to be that.
35:07Jason Stewart:I think the problem is I have such specific tastes about things and I like to manipulate them and reverse engineer scientific. So I'm like, maybe the reason why I've been so averse to Americanos is because you have to sort of order them under duress because you were just told that this place doesn't have coffee. So you're already kind of bummed. That's actually, Jason, great point. That's a great point. I do think the only time I have an Americano is when they tell me they don't have regular coffee, which is often in Europe. Yes. Where a drip or filter coffee is just, we're out for whatever reason.
35:43Jason Stewart:And it also is sort of the drink that is made with the least amount of care. It's just a shot of espresso, put in some hot water, we're done. There's no real, we're making the latte art and steaming and the this and the whatever. So you're sort of at the mercy of whoever is making this for you, how good they are at pulling the shot, how much water they add to it, what temperature it is. And if you dial it in in the right way, which I have done at home, I'm like the Americano. You can sort of manipulate it into a great mouth experience. I believe that. Also, I don't like mixing milk with my coffee.
36:19Jason Stewart:I like to have black hot coffee, cold milk separately, and then one to a boiler maker style. I think my issue, much like it is with tea, the water's too hot. it's just too hot they make it they make it too hot and then i need that caffeine stat bro like i like i'm trying to have this i'm trying to digest this as fast as possible so i'm buzzing and if i have to sit there and wait for this shit to cool off for 15 minutes it's it's it doesn't feel good i know but the the fellow you can adjust the temp whatever you want it to be it comes out stock at 200 degrees so it's it's sub boiling and you're able to start stipping instantly if that's still too hot crank it down to 184 i i feels good for you this is a big development though i feel like this is something because i feel like we really stood on business together on americanos being trash but that's why it's so noteworthy i'm i'm happy that you i'm happy that you're pushing yourself and you've discovered something new you like i i just um i think once if i finally you know get around to using my coffee i'll test the same theory you know because i do think that next time you come to LA which will be soon I think we are going to okay we'll do a taste test I'm gonna I'm gonna make you an americano here's what we're gonna do I'm gonna go to uh what's the coffee place near you that we go to commissary I'm gonna go to commissary get an americano we're doing a one-to-one it's a con off where it's easy it's a con off it's a con off we're conning off together well it's funny you say this because I went to dinner with uh plum and her daughter Ursula who says hello and uh our friend our friends Camille and Francois and and actually Nell who owned Nell's the night the famous nightclub in New York who was a real fucking character but dinner in a good way and dinner was over and of course all the girlies order their mint tea in in in the UK that's a you know all girls do it it's it's a feminine trait and I was yet again tempted because something about it feel felt good but I was like I'm not a girl and I'm not Moroccan I can't do it.
38:25And I was able to resist, but it does help the tummy feel a little better. You've heard us talk about BetterHelp for a long ass time, but I don't know that we've ever actually talked about how much people love the service when they actually use it. You can go check it out for yourself. You don't have to believe me and Bozo here. You can go to betterhelp.com slash reviews, and you can read all the amazing reviews in real time. They're updated every day with hundreds of people saying how much they love BetterHelp and how helpful it's been to them.
38:54Jason Stewart:They're going to be great reviews and you could see like, oh, this person recommended this therapist for this one specific thing and that's what I'm interested in as well. Let the reviews help you find who you need to look for and with over 6 million people having already used the BetterHelp app globally, you know, this consistent feedback from real users makes it easy to see why so many people continue to use BetterHelp. See the reviews, see what stands out and see if BetterHelp is right for you. Visit betterhelp.com slash howlong. That's better, H-E-L-P.com slash howlong. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince.
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41:14Jason Stewart:But Chris, I know how to do stuff. I'm handy. But then, you know, as you get older, time is money. Money is time. Certain projects, you know, the gate needs a new coat of black paint. You know, it's been hot or whatever. I could do it, but it's starting to look pretty nice to go on TaskRabbit, pay a professional to come over and do it. The cleanup's going to be done. The disposal of the shit's going to be done. It's exactly what you want. And quite frankly, it's worth the money. Never hang another TV as long as you live. Just call TaskRabbit. When life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get$15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com on the TaskRabbit app using promo code HOWLONG.
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42:03Jason Stewart:You know, it's like it sucks. Yes, it does. Yeah, I mean, Persian culture, Moroccan culture, a lot of Middle Eastern cultures, even the fellas will drink a fresh mint tea at the end of a meal for digestive purposes. It also is just kind of complex. I mean, sorry, it's like a – it just really – it relaxes your body. It calms you down. Totally, totally. It makes you feel yummy in your tummy. And then, you know, but is it because it's too feminine or is it just like tea? No, that's a joke. That's a joke. I mean, I've only seen – Is it A – are you A-T-A-B, A-T-A-B? What is ATAB? All teas are bastards.
42:40You know I don't like tea, and I find it to be sort of lightly flavored hot water, which doesn't really do much for me. And I'm not putting milk in water feels insane.
42:49Jason Stewart:Are you or are you not ATAB? I am ATAB. I'm going to come out now and say it. I'm ATAB. But I think that the... You're a tea abolitionist. I've only seen hot chicks do it, which is cool. It's a hot chick thing. You never see a stinky bitch having a nice cup of mint tea after a light meal. No, paying$12 for the fresh mint tea. You know, that's a hot British chick thing to do. And I just feel like that is not my culture. It feels like not my culture. It just feels like I shouldn't be allowed to do it. But also... Well, if hot British chick isn't your culture, Chris, then we can close this book because I don't know how much closer we can get to you.
43:29Jason Stewart:If that's not doing it, then Rafi Kebab in Glendale is not going to get you over the tea line. No, I feel like you have to be from a Middle Eastern country or a hot chick. Those are the two people that are allowed to drink mint tea after dinner. And I feel like it would be culture vulturing. That's really what it comes down to. Bro, you know what? Sometimes, like I've done this twice. Hot mint tea, splash of milk in it. I'm sure. I'm drinking beverages that your body can't even pronounce. I can't even imagine. Imagine me at a restaurant, Jason, and everybody's, and I'm like, oh, can I get a fresh mint tea with a side of almond milk?
44:05No, bro. That's crazy, dude. That's crazy.
44:09Jason Stewart:You have to get a side of clotted cream or nothing at all. Bro, I know, but it's crazy. That's what I mean. There's no way for this to work for me. Or other, and fellas, I know my British homies are listening. I don't see you ordering this either. I see you having tea at other times, but I don't see any fellas reaching for the day cup when the pot come round. I don't. I like that you kind of ended it with a Jamaican kind of flavor. I'm saying I've been to a lot of dinners in London with a lot of British people, and I'm sure there are fellas who have drank it, and I've missed it. But overall, it is only a woman and honestly ate her up.
44:49that's what i'm seeing i'm just saying what i'm seeing bro like what do we like i don't know how we did this but this is where we're at this is where we're at you're yeah don't shoot the messenger this is just what you're a documentarian i'm just yeah i'm like the way that like a diet coke that's kind of considered a chick drink you know it is it is i know guys drink it it's different obviously it's very different because it's more global i i would say whereas tea feels like a real part of british culture the same way it's a real part of middle eastern culture honestly good question what's
45:18Jason Stewart:more popular coca-cola or tea it's a it's a good so i was thinking about that last week like what's more popular globally coca-cola like the brand the product the thing or like a fruit or a vegetable you know what i mean like what's more popular like cucumbers or coca-cola like what hands down coca-cola hands down unless i'm unless i'm missing an international destination that has a cucumber focused society which i'm not i'm not super i'm not i'm not super up on this pause there could there could be a far-flung destination that i have yet to visit that has a cucumber focused you know menu or or mindset right but overall like like sourdough bread or coca-cola sourdough is less recognized but like is bread itself dude more popular than coke dude i don't know i don't know i think that i think bread is looked at as more of a necessity where coke is considered more of a treat by a lot of people that we know you know coca a full fat coca-cola mexican coca-cola in a glass bottle with a you know jingly cup of ice is is not considered sustenance that's considered a little treat and a little caffeine boost whereas bread is sort of like i have to have this uno cigarette refrijorador yes yeah yeah exactly but it's it's something to consider And I just was, I just don't think fellas, if you're drinking mint tea, this is no shade to you, but speak up, like be loud, be proud because you're not.
46:45Oh, I'm just saying I'm not seeing it. And that's causing that. That's that's fucking up my judgment.
46:50Jason Stewart:So we need like we need a mint pride week to sort of mint tea pride week for fellas. Yeah. Let's get let's get Santa Monica Boulevard reskinned. And I'm sure a big man would throw in some dollars on this. You know, it doesn't seem crazy. You know, they're pumping all their money. Take all that budget that we were giving to California avocados last year, put it into wherever the mint's coming from. I like this. I think our farmers are unfortunately probably focused on getting lettuce back off the ground after the couple weeks they've had. But once that's over, I think we could focus on mint. Mint.
47:24Jason Stewart:Keep waiting in the wings. We're dealing with lettuce. I've been eating lettuce this whole entire time, by the way. Iceberg, romaine. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a shit, bro. Give me a lettuce. I don't give a fuck. I had a Caesar at Bar Finch on Friday night. I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit. But also when I got off the plane, because my flight was delayed three hours. And so I got into London much later than usual. And I went to a lunch. Absolutely gutted. With a couple of the homies. And we go to Quo Vitis in Soho. It's me and Ed and John and Jack. And these guys, you know, it's a regular.
47:59I'm a little fucked up. So I'm having coffee because I just got off the plane. these guys, let's get, yeah, a round of martinis, a couple brewskis, maybe a Chablis with the fish. And I'm just like, and we finished this lunch, and these guys are good to go. No mint tea in sight. You know what I'm saying? Like I'm just saying, I'm saying I think that that's the difference. I think if a British guy is given a choice for a beverage, it's beer or martini. I think mint tea doesn't even enter the lexicon.
48:29Jason Stewart:What do you think is gayer drinking a hot fresh mint tea after your meal to digest and settle or having a glass of sherry? Fuck. Both of them are giving grandma down. Tea. Still got to go with mint tea. I like that we just had a clean take of you saying tea as if you could be commenting on what I just said or talking about the loose leaf varietal. The loose leaf varietals. I just don't I don't know I don't have the answers It's been an eye-opening trip to London to say the least I've been doing a lot of thinking You've been watching a lot of people in restaurants is what I'm learning I'm glad you're having a rich explorative journey on the British I have to get up at 4am tomorrow I definitely didn't plan that flight so I'm a little bit I'm dreading it a little bit Copenhagen?
49:25I'm off to Copenhagen. Yeah, I'm actually going to see... 4 a.m. to go to Copenhagen, that flight is what,
49:30Jason Stewart:an hour? Well, it was just sort of like I was supposed... Dumbass. Well, I know. I'm going to see Gabe and Missy after we finish to have dinner, and then I was like, I like to take the first flight out, but I forget that the first flight out, I don't know. It was a mistake, but I get into Copenhagen at 9 a.m., so I have a full day, which is nice, but I'm going to feel like shit, so how nice is it? Yeah, you got bit by the first flight out. snake it gets you every once in a while not unlike one of john barenthal's pit bulls well i've had bad luck lately i've had a delay every flight i've taken for the past two weeks i think you've had the same amount of luck you always have you're just traveling more so it just feels like you're there's just more opportunities for things to go wrong just like if the more pit bulls you get the more opportunity there is for something to go wrong i want to believe you but i'm telling you none of those flights were the first one out and that's the issue that's i There's a through line is what I'm trying to say.
50:24Jason Stewart:Okay, so you've had to go off your normal path, your normal game plan, and that's why inconsistencies are happening with your flights? I think so. I have no, obviously I have no hard data here, but it does feel like... Kind of literally do, but you know. Yeah, yeah, I guess that's true. I guess that's true. But I'm going to... Well, you're going to be fine. I'm jealous of you in Copenhagen for, you know, a small amount of reasons total. Not many, but I do love eating that little bread and butter and cheese for breakfast. Frederick opened a new restaurant called Daphne, I believe. So I'm going to be there for the opening day, which is nice.
51:03So I'll get to go check that out.
51:04Jason Stewart:How long gone previous guest, Frederick Billy Brahe? Yes. And it looks nice as hell. I mean, they always do a good job, but I'm excited to try that. But yeah, I mean, otherwise. What do you think the new version of the giant butter pile sculpture thing is? Oh, who knows what that motherfucker's got in his back cargo pocket? You never, bro. You know, that guy's, dude, he's got like four or five kids. He's always coming up with something. You know what I mean? It could be anything. I'm just saying the world is looking to him. I see what you're saying. He sets trends, we follow, and it's time for a new one.
51:37Jason Stewart:You know, him and Flynn McGarry, some other people, you know, Butter Summer was, what, two and a half years ago now? Two years ago? It's time. you know they had they had the the butter pile at ballerina farm so if it's trickled down all the way to brandon flowers utah that means we're we're the tanks on e i see what you're saying we're ready to replace it be replaced with a new king if i don't if i don't see something that stands out i'll confront him one-on-one you know what i wouldn't mind a little pitbull carpaccio get some of these dogs off the street i think the i think the laws are different in denmark you guys can do whatever right i don't know who's biting who now some good protein up in here the menu says pitbull carpaccio and then it's just who's biting who now yeah yeah don't go to don't go to the wrong side of sicily they got that on wait i want to brother before before we start winding this down i i want to talk to you about your your debut on stage as an improv uh comedian oh my improv we haven't talked about it i know you you previewed it because you were doing it with our our friend lily and it was it was her her one person show and you you were you agreed to this knowing what it was pretty much yes she said it was i mean it wasn't officially a 100 improv show it was like a comedic variety show with some like a little stand-up a little monologue there's a sketch read there is an interactive game involving uh projections visuals and then at the very end there was a group okay improv in the classical sense draw a name out of a hat written oh wow i mean draw sorry draw a character or something yeah sometimes the character is like i would one of my characters was um pool boy so you know kind of like horny guy who cleans the pool too easy too easy but but like for that particular guy who loves chores come on now so that i got lucky but one of them was like heirloom tomato so like that one a little more difficult you could do both of those what the fuck okay question i know question question and be honest because the last time you did something like this you fared very well the spelling bee which is a shock to me and all the listeners but what you already know my gay ass knows how to spell bulgari go ahead how do you think how do you think you fared up there with other people who maybe were more experienced in your honest opinion i would say i did in in terms of all like i guess if there was three different things i did there's a sketch read and then there was the interactive visual like yeah which is very popular nowadays like they have the the room show where you go and like people look at a photo of a room and then you just like make fun of it yeah it was kind of she was showing these um very hyper niche like new england romance novels like that are like bro she's so fucking funny that's so funny and they look they look fake but they're all real and you basically you basically yes it's it's all like i'm away for the summer at the at the house on the cape and then like the new guy comes you know whatever so you have to guess what the what the plot is about based on i i did good i did a good job on that because that's that's in my wheelhouse the sketch definitely the sketch reading was um lily is a kayak rental shop owner at a in maine and then uh i played her husband i play her husband and business partner and then the other people were playing like hot customers and then she sort of okay realizes that she's like a lesbian and then we all realize that she's like a total like bull dyke kayak rental lesbian person and i'm a husband who's sort of uh you know i have i have no idea any of this is going on underneath my nose okay so that part was really good i mean i'm just reading lines on a script and acting like a straight guy the only straight guy on stage which i also was so no problem you know the the cast the shoe fit the very end with the improv that was the only part where i would say i was maybe like a six okay and that was because for the first time i mean look dude that's hard i'm impressed you did it i would be very nervous you can't i guess when you're up there on the stage chris you don't really have time to be nervous but that's what my acting teacher tells me my my only uh also one of one of my other characters i just remembered donna karen's daughter which apparently she owns a restaurant in somewhere in new england i don't know where rhode island or massachusetts or maine or vermont or something so that was that was the implication but i did not know any of that so i was just like i would oh wait i know this restaurant there's there's one in sag harbor um and it does have a nautical thing it does have a nautical so instead of coming at it from that perspective i was coming at it from more of like a textile and couture kind of thing so people would be arguing about some crazy thing and i'd go up and touch someone's sleeve and be like oh what is this okay okay i see so you know six out of ten nothing nothing fantastic but i would say my only problem i've been on stage so many times in my life so i'm i'm more well equipped than the average bear but i'm always not without those techniques 1200s big dog that's the difference well nowhere to hide well you've got the techniques to hide behind that's one but we've also done a lot of live podcasts where we're sitting on stage we're on these comfy chairs we have a microphone we have a you know i have a our water and or whatever our notes and you can kind of do stuff but when you're on stage in a small improv theater the way it's supposed to be done there's no microphones and you're using your voice and projecting so i just didn't i didn't know what to do with my hands that was the only i was like on stage and i'm like what does what does a pool boy do with their hands i guess i'm i'm sweeping the leaves i don't know You're trolling the water to get out the bugs.
57:39Jason Stewart:I'm sweeping the leaves while I'm saying, like, does anybody want me to eat their pussy kind of thing or whatever? Yeah, sure. That is. Yeah, that's. Yeah, of course. Just that. I'm really dumb, but I'm good at it. I'm proud. Look, I'm proud that you did it and you took the leap because I would have been very nervous. And I think it's good for growth. This is not a joke. I think this is good for growth. And I think it's good for us, even in our older ages, to push ourselves into new territories. like i would have been i would have done it like the same way i would have agreed to it and then not thought about it and then got there and been like what the fuck have i agreed to i'm very nervous which i imagine is is the boat that you were in this is i imagine it was the uh it was the salve that we need for you know mary beth barone's world it was it was a queer space welcoming a straight man into it saying hey you know you're you're a spice that adds to this dish not takes away so it was a step in the right direction for equality equality thank you lily for your bravery but also you know if everyone wants to talk shit about straight guys and make fun of them put put the clown in the room with us get the get the gloves out and start punching and it's going to be more fun for everyone obviously i could take it right i'm straight i start crudding myself sometimes sometimes maybe sometimes i can't take it i reveal my sleeve to see thousands of small cuts on my arm that's uh no i'm glad i'm glad you did it i'm proud of you Yeah, thank you.
58:59Jason Stewart:I don't have plans to do it anytime. Ever again. But I mean, I would do it, I would say like twice a year. I don't know if I got anything out of it. I mean, I had so much fun doing it. And obviously, it's fun to be on stage and have a room full of people laugh when you, you know, attempt to say something funny. That's all great and everything like that. But it wasn't like, you know, the uptight businessman taking the improv class and finally coming out of my shell. you know i'm a middle-aged guy who says a bunch of dumb stuff and makes a fool out of himself all every day so yeah it's not it wasn't a stretch i didn't have like a mental transformation or yeah yeah i wouldn't know i wouldn't expect that but i think it is sharpen the blade i really do think it's good for uh to to you know push ourselves i don't do it enough i would say that all of us uh could benefit from that yeah you know it was when i was telling carolyn about it and she was like what is this i don't get it's weird and then when i broke down all like what i was telling you like and then you know i'm the the kayak rental thing and bubble and then i told her about all this stuff and she's like wow that all that sounds amazing that sounds really funny sounds great uh anyway have fun i'm gonna go to bed and i will see you yeah that ain't something not because you don't want to see your husband or wife trying improv for the first time and you don't want your husband or wife or somebody you're trying to suck on in their room while you're doing improv for the first time the chances of that turning into an icky ick way too high oh that's like top level even if it's not your first time even if it's your like 30th time you could still bomb atomically when i see these stand-up guys doing you know saying their wife's in the house you know i'm like dude good for you but let's see how long this lasts because i so i forgot who was telling us was it andy or some other comedians when they talk about like and then like my all All of my wife's cousins from Wisconsin came in and they're all in the front row and you're like, that sucks.
1:00:56That sucks. Yeah.
1:00:57Jason Stewart:What am I going to do? Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to have to talk about, you know, getting my dick sucked on the toilet or whatever. I'm about to do five minutes of while my, you know, the person who paid for my wedding is staring me down. All right. One, one quick caper before we go. Joe Budden posted a story of himself checking into the Condé Nast building. and on this this saturday's episode of the joe budden podcast there was a reporter in the room and they joked that it was he was from new jersey.com which is really funny but it's obviously it's obviously a fine publication to be clear we have plenty of we have plenty of moles in the conde nast uh building and universe i i need to know who this long form joe budden story is is coming from is it is it the new yorker which is the the top that's what i would like the most is it vanity fair is it gq is it bon appetit is it architectural who knows but we need to get to the bottom of it well one thing we do know it's not architectural digest i will put money on that one and i projected what if it's a wired cover you know get our foot in the door at the can the condé tower you know work our way up to that new yorker profile i really think this is the time i haven't texted patrick radden keith to ask if he's working on this or not i think it's probably not his beat necessarily but i want to know asap who this is for and hopefully when it's coming out um but you know just just let me know and xo xo joe if anyone out there knows who's working on this wants to drop an anonymous just put your signal at the hit me on signal bang my signal let me know uh also if you're in new york city uh save the date september 15th we're gonna have an announcement soon, but we're cooking up something we're very excited about.
1:02:43A whole new tentacle on the How Long Gone Octopus.
1:02:48Jason Stewart:Fashion week is upon us. And also that week, maybe a few days before, might do a little DJ party with the Nine Orchard people. So we'll keep you posted on that as well. We'll keep you posted. Thank you guys for listening. Howlonggone.com. We got some wild pods next week, if all goes according to plan. A real one-two punch for us so thank you for listening and we'll talk to you then bye bye
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From the publisher
One-on-one pod today: Chris is in London, and Jason is home in L.A. We chat about Jonah Hill's annihilation, Elon Musk's Starlink technology, whether attacking the straight male has become hack, Jon Bernthal in defense of pit bulls, Jason falling in love with Americano-style espresso, Chris takes a long English lunch, a review of Jason's improv debut, and we get to the bottom of Joe Budden's possible Condé Nast profile.
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