991. - Chris & Jason

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0:47how long gone back in the motherfucking stew uh it's chris black it's a humid humid thursday afternoon here in Manhattan. The sun is shining. The hoopers are hooping them jeans. He's back in his beloved Glendale. I'm sure he kissed the ground when he got home after that long, arduous vacation. How do you feel, bro?

1:09Jason Stewart:I'm a little shaky. Vacation, good, but the last leg of traveling home was really I feel spent out there. I need a Carlos Alcaraz-style one - a two-month break in between tournaments. Bro, it was four months. It was four months. And if you come back wearing a fucking Cactus Jack tank top, we're going to have some issues. So let's just watch. Let's just watch. Well, if they weren't sold out instantly, I would. We can only get the warm-up. I can decide how I feel about Carlito's Cactus Jack fit because it's so smart for tennis and for him and for Nike, but I'm also obviously spiritually I hate it.

1:53At this point, what does

1:56Jason Stewart:Cactus Jack tennis clothing even mean? I think that Travis Scott Nike is one of the best sellers of all time. It's like, fuck it, let's do it. Also, I like seeing Travis Scott sitting in the box getting hyped. It was kind of funny because I think he actually cared. I think he was like, I don't know anything about this but this is my guy. He better fucking win. I can kind of respect that energy when you go. Yeah, does Travis, being in the stands, if you're a young Carlitos, do you feel the extra pressure to perform and win? If he's looking in the stands and you've got Travis Scott and he's got his evil Swarovski monocle binoculars coming in from the box and he's looking down at you, if you don't win in straight sets, there's going to be another rodeo.

2:44Jason Stewart:There's going to be a stampede out here. He's like, bro, I got to go to Boom Boom at midnight, so we got to wrap this shit up. I need straight sets, player. The double R is outside. I need straight sets. Do you think that someone, like an assistant at Nike or someone was giving Travis a sort of a crash course on the point system on how everything is scored? I hate to say this. I hate to say this. Don't say it. Don't say it. I think Travis Scott is smarter than we give him credit for. That's what I'm going to say. I don't think this empire could be the size that it is. without him being a little brighter than we give him credit for.

3:19That's what I truly believe.

3:20Jason Stewart:I think he's simply a Charles Barkley type of idiot savant kind of way, or just like he is a studied, intelligent person. I just think he's like, he's not. It just doesn't happen to show in his speech pattern or any other. No, he's just not from the streets. Like, you know what I mean? He's a guy who went to college, or maybe at least high school. You know, I mean, it's like, whatever. I just think that, like, once you're that successful, I'm like, all right this is there's a certain level of this that you can't achieve being a total fucking idiot there's just not it's too big it's it's too big of an operation it's too successful it's too global i'm sure carlito would have preferred bad bunny but he's an adidas athlete so it's like all right my second favorite is is big trav so let's let's get it in let's make some let's get my nipples out nipple check yeah he's got his little he's got his little covers i would love a cactus jack sort of travis scott brown colored nipple cover for carlitos's tanned tot titty meat but i feel like um after watching the discourse about the u.s open and you know the arthur ash influencer takeover i feel like uh you know tennis in new york at the u.s open could use a little bit of a Travis Scott style rodeo stampede.

4:39Jason Stewart:I mean. A firestorm to purify the US Open, so to speak. For the real ones, yeah. Get those fucking honey deuces out of here. I'm going, when am I going? I'm going Saturday and I'm going Monday. And I'm going to report, I'll be reporting from the ground. I mean, everything is like that now. Do you know what I mean? I guess that like obviously certain things are considered sacred, especially the rules. Like going to Wimbledon this year and like seeing the rules. it's like they take that shit serious like you are not i don't care how much money you paid if you are waiting to get if you went to the you have to wait to go to the bathroom until there's a break you know what i mean you have to wait and to go back to your seat until there's a break i think the u.s opens just like they want to be the fun one they've always been the fun one but i don't think they maybe realize how far that could go it when given fun when given to the wrong people when power is given to the influencers that bring their own lighting rigs to get a picture in front of the court.

5:33But I mean, I honestly, I don't know. I don't know why people are so surprised. It's like, it's literally everything. And it's restaurants, it's hotels, it's the airplane. It's like, when do you not see someone, you know, talking directly to camera about themselves and what they're doing? It's pretty rare, I feel like these days.

5:50Jason Stewart:Yeah. And I think it's a little bit of the US Open's fault as well for turning it into like, let's like the nba style you know like when when the players come out there's strobe lights and fog machines and all this bullshit and i'm you know i feel like tennis is was sort of one of the last great sports where they kept that tradition of a little more class you know golf has sort of been on the teetering on the front lines of being taken over by shitty bros and you know yelling people and waste management and malvin antics and all that stuff yeah but the problem is the the line that is almost impossible to walk the thread that is impossible to to to thread is like the basically you want to grow the sport because it's really small in comparison to all these other sports you know what i mean so you want to grow the sport so you want to open it up a little bit because you have to to get new eyeballs and to make it exciting for young people but yeah like what's the line you know it's like what's the where do we what is the the happy meat like obviously we'll have to walk it back now yeah i just i mean how many people are like i'm okay with where the sport is at like we don't i mean i feel like there's a lot of people no one that makes money off it no one that makes money off it and that's the problem i know i know but it's it's the same thing as like hey we need to make this cow you know heavier so we can make more money off of it we're gonna pump it up full of horse shit and it's gonna be diseased and you know it's gonna be some rfk meat and at that point you know i don't want it anymore and i'm looking at the u.s open and all this shit and you know the naomi osakas and the strobe lights and the fog machines and the yelling and then this and the influencers doing tiktoks and the lighting rigs and everyone no one's silencing anyone and yeah i don't it's i don't want it anymore i'm not interested in it anymore that's everything i mean if i started saying that i couldn't do anything and that's why i have to i think that's why you have to pursue i mean literally like anywhere you go if you're at the airport people are doing this if you're at air one people are doing this if you're at the restaurant you know it's like it's it's that's the that's the bigger issue i think this is shining a light on it because people are like like you said people thought there was some last safe zones and it's like maybe if you live in you know fucking idaho on 100 acres maybe you don't deal with this but if you want to live in a major city this is what you're gonna this is what you deal with whether yeah whether it's this version or it's the version of like i'm talking on speakerphone i don't give a shit i'm blasting fucking bob marley out of a jbl speaker when i'm walking down bowery there's some version of this happening we we wish it was bob marley it is unfortunately osama song there's something happening like this everywhere you turn if you go out in public and that's why i'm so surprised that people think anything is safe because i i'm I'm like, I gave up a long time ago.

8:41Jason Stewart:But there are still spaces where the spaces police themselves against that bullshit. Soho House. But it can only last. Hell yeah, brother. Honestly, think about it. And it's called Soho House. See, everybody's making fun of these members clubs. It's that. Soho House is the only place you can go where you're not going to be in the background of somebody's video putting on makeup. Think about it. It's crazy. That's a selling point. That's a selling point for Soho House at this stage. It is. It truly is. And there are more and more events and parties and raves and concerts and whatever it is that are becoming cell phone-free spaces.

9:16Jason Stewart:And I think I just saw maybe it was Basement or someone else. They released a statement saying, you know, meta glasses are not welcome here. Which feels like an easy thing to – I don't know how many hundreds of people were lining up with meta glasses to get into Basement. I think that's more of a political statement. but it is a real need to say that it needed it wasn't an overwhelming problem and when we're when we're eating in paris there are obviously restaurants where you can go line up and you know benny blanco's making a horny pickle croissant and there's 7 000 you know selena gomez fans waiting in line to to take a a video of them with them inside it in the background with benny over their shoulder and there are other small restaurants that you go to where if you were to pull out your phone and the ring light or the little foodie fluencer box light thing and put it over your meal, the air and the energy in the room would sort of look at you and make you feel like a loser piece of shit.

10:19Jason Stewart:And hopefully that energy corrects itself. See, that's the issue, Jason. What the issue? That's the issue. It's not going to correct itself. It's not going to correct itself. There's no shame. We've completely lost shame of any kind. And it's sort of like, you can't tell me what to do. Don't tread on me meets no shame. Puts us in the position of, I was in the background of a GRWM, you know, and that's why we're, that's why we're at where we're at. It can self-police in certain places, but also I think like, I mean, if there's people lining up for that kind of shit in France, the meanest country that I've ever been to.

11:00like if they're gonna allow that there then what is the final frontier you know what i mean like if we're blocking parisian streets waiting for a benny blanco slaney gomez pickled croissant that feels that feels like that feels that that feels like the end of the end like a felta fish croissant yeah that just that feels like if those people are gonna put up with it even if they don't like it and they're gonna walk by and scoff but they're gonna let it happen yeah then i i don't you know because you can say whatever you want but everybody's gonna let it happen because it's It's like when we talk about restaurant people and it gets ruined, but they're like, but I'm making more money they've ever made in my life.

11:33So it's like, what am I supposed to, you know, it's such a, it's such a chicken egg situation.

11:37Jason Stewart:Yeah. Maybe there needs to be, I feel like there's, they're like the pendulum has swung. We, we created Soho house for these reasons. We have the San Vicente bungalows in these places where you, you're not allowed to like, we, we don't trust you to have your phone without a sticker on the lens to get in here. and I think that might be the problem. We want a place where cool people can have their cell phone. Adult people who have lots of money and are intelligent, they can keep the cell phone in their pocket and you know not to take a picture of Amrata. We don't have to tell you. Yeah, it's more so we need to create a space full.

12:19Jason Stewart:We need to have spaces full of people who know how to act and can be trusted because there's a lot of people out there who are like, I want to go to this, but like, I don't want to have my phone in a yonder bag. I mean, I'd be like, I feel like you and I are also those people. Like, are you going to go put your phone in the bag to go see Phoebe Bridgers? No cap. This is a service I use all the time, Jason, because you know, I'm not like you. I'm not super handy. I don't have a toolbox. Thank God there's TaskRabbit. So when I need some of my, you know, art hung or something put together, maybe, you know, some shelving units or whatever it may be, I always call TaskRabbit and a nice young person with a backpack stocked with tools and other useful items shows up and takes care of any problem I have.

13:05And the best part is I can search for them based on cost, skillset, availability, client reviews. So I know who's showing up. I know they're going to do a good job and I know I'm not going to have to, you know, kind of run away when they come inside.

13:17Jason Stewart:But Chris, I know how to do stuff. I'm handy. But then, you know, as you get older, time is money, money is time, certain projects, you know, The gate needs a new coat of black paint. It's been hot or whatever. I could do it, but it's starting to look pretty nice to go on TaskRabbit, pay a professional to come over and do it. The cleanup's going to be done. The disposal of the shit's going to be done. It's exactly what you want. And quite frankly, it's worth the money. Never hang another TV as long as you live. Just call TaskRabbit. When life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get$15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com on the TaskRabbit app using promo code HOWLONG.

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15:37Jason Stewart:Don't sleep. Here's my problem. I don't want to put the phone in the bag, but I'm addicted to my phone. I need to look at it. like i'm not going to take a picture i'm not going to take a video i'm not going to do what you're asking me not and that's fine i'm not going to do what you asked me to do and there needs to be and there need to we need to create spaces i mean these spaces do exist but they just have to you know we don't know about them uh no we don't i mean they do exist like you and i have access to them but it's not necessarily for the one percent in terms of like economic shareholder growth and, and, you know, private, you know, it's more so for the 1 % of people who still know how to behave themselves in a social setting.

16:19Yeah. That's the problem. You got to pay$5 ,000 a year. You know what I mean? That's the, that's the issue. But I mean, I guess it's worth it to some extent if you want to, if you want to avoid it, but it is, it is, it is a world that this is a, this is a problem for sure. And I feel like it's been, I feel like it's been addressed many times, you know what I mean? In many different ways, but I, but I feel, I, but I feel like for some reason this has really caught on because i think people love the energy of the u.s open and thought that it could just stay that way and now the energy maybe has tipped the scale a little bit

16:49Jason Stewart:and as an angelino i get a small amount of satisfaction knowing that new york city ruined tennis and not you know los angeles and our pink melrose wall you know obviously our tennis tournament is in uh palm springs so it's a little bit of a hike and it's not necessarily as much of influencer branded you know media in you know situation it's mostly people who just love tennis and are willing to drive out a couple mile a couple hours and and brave the desert heat to watch the game that they love and people people behave themselves in Indian Wells so I do get a little bit of of satisfaction knowing that New York has ruined tennis I always said that if you're a real head you know you go to like whatever cincinnati or dc or montreal because there's all you know there's great tournaments you stay in a fucking hotel for 200 bucks a night you see everything you want and you're not dealing with anything and 200 wow is that the sweet that's the i mean look cincinnati i've never you know i've never been to ohio and first i'm ohio curious lately but just because i've never been like should i hit dayton for the weekend the train down to natty just see what's happening in dayton we'll See what's happening in Cincinnati.

18:02See what's happening in Cleveland. Like, why have I not been there? I don't know. I don't know.

18:06Jason Stewart:I'd rather go there than Kevin Morby's Kansas City. No shade. Kansas City rocked, actually. I have to be honest. And I bet there's some similarities in those places where there's like three good restaurants and one hotel. The similarities BMI. Yeah, people are fat. That's true. That's true. Oh, also, sorry. I just remembered a quick correction on the last episode. I said that I preferred the Devil Wears Prada 2 to Sex and the City Part 2. and listening back on the edit, I had those switched. I want to be clear that I prefer Sex and the City Part 2 in Abu Dhabi to The Devil Wears Prada Part 2. You would take the money.

18:42Yeah, you would take the evil money. That doesn't surprise me at all.

18:45Jason Stewart:What do you mean take the money? Somebody called you. This is your comedy. Okay, somebody called you and said, look, we got a little something for you if you say you like Sex and the City 2. It was simply, I just had a senior moment. It was a little tongue twister. I didn't know I was podcasting with Andrew Schultz now. All right. I see how it is. All right. All right. You know that. You know that. I've been on record since the film came out. I have screenshots on all of my devices that are 10 years old at the very least. I have Sex and the City 2 reaction GIFs. I'm a grown-ass middle-aged cishet man.

19:23Jason Stewart:I'm not new to this. I am true to this. but yeah I just wanted I just wanted to make that clear for people who may have been wondering if I was a flip-flopper or not I'm not flopping yeah I'm sure this this feels like a classic thing that maybe you noticed that no one else did um but I'm glad that you made my best to clean it up in post I was like I'm editing on the plane I can't get my rig out and and re-recut some of the audio some of the vocals I just sorry guys keeping me up all night I know it's annoying when people pull out their their ring lights but I'm gonna pull out a microphone can you guys just quiet down so i can re-record this part where i messed up which movie i like more i just really i hold up the little gall the 17th hole silent stick oh man i was telling you that great story speaking of holding up the stick the the the young lady waving the flag i guess i don't need to tell that story but that was every time i'm on a plane sitting in uh in first class or delta one coming from Europe to America.

20:19Jason Stewart:There's always a child who is doing something that they shouldn't be doing and a parent who has a lot of money and a giant ring on their finger just letting it happen. Yeah, of course. It's fucked. Of course, bro. I mean, look, if I paid$5 ,000 for this ticket, my kid's going to do whatever the fuck they want. Throw the gummy bears of that big bitch next to you. I don't give a fuck. Get the fuck. Shut the fuck up. I don't give a damn. I don't care how autistic your child is. They can only get so many cranberry juices while they're watching. Yeah. Like do what you want. Do what you want, man. I had to, we talked about, yeah, I had, it's been some journeys lately.

21:01I think that hopefully now, well, just hopefully now that, that summer is over Drake voice, maybe we'll go back to normal and flights will be on time. I've never experienced a summer like this in my entire life. I honestly, I think one flight, two flights that I've been on this summer out of probably 20 have been on time. So you're saying stick season can't come soon enough. Stick season cannot come soon enough. And I, you know, I cannot come because I'm just like, I don't understand what's going on because the weather in New York has been historically insane. Like it's been like torrential downpours like every other day.

21:40Jason Stewart:Yeah. I was there yesterday on my layover, and it was all sunny and wonderful when I was above the clouds. And then we dipped down below, and I'm like, oh, that looks like fucking shit. I'm like, I thought we're literally in the summer, and it was just looking. It was serving gloomy on it. No, it's been. I mean, today, it's basically like it's going to rain every day is what the forecast says. So I just don't know. Obviously, that's causing issues, but my upgrade percentage, very, very high. very very high like i i'm talking 90 percent like wow but when i was coming from when i was coming from um i don't know how many more chef andre's beef bourguignons i can i can suck down bro so when i was coming from colorado to la i had to i was flying united and it was all fucked up and i didn't have you know i don't know how to do anything because i don't have the app and blah blah it's really annoying and i had to do something that every millennial hates i had to purchase a flight on my cell phone from America.

22:41I had to buy a backup flight on American airlines because I had to shoot the next day. And I was like, I have to get, I have to be in LA. Like I have to get there tonight. Like whatever. It's just, I don't have a choice. I'm going to buy a backup flight. I'll just, whatever. I'll refund it. If I don't need to use it, trying to buy a flight on an airline you're not familiar with from your cell phone while on another flight, I felt 150 years old. I had to get out my readers I was using my thumb instead of my pointer I was just doing shit I was just confused

23:12Jason Stewart:The font on your phone just got huge without you having to change anything in the setting? All of a sudden it's 75 % bigger and I just was I was literally like Alex was like calmly reading her book sitting next to me and I'm just like sweating bullets banging my head against the fucking tray table I guess I just bought a flight I think I don't know Is this thing on? That's literally, I was like, I hope it worked. I don't know if it worked. She just doesn't even look at me. She's not even acknowledging me. But yeah, I don't, it was so, and then I was talking to somebody, I was talking because we were shooting UGG in Malibu and I was talking to the girls at UGG about it who are younger than me, but still, you know, millennials.

23:50Sure. And they were like, oh yeah, hell no, I do that shit on a computer. And I was like, wow, this really is, this really is a disease that we have. This is one of the, it feels like the phone should be easier, but I think it's actually harder.

24:03Jason Stewart:I think it's much harder because you're using a device that is slower. It has a smaller screen and a smaller keyboard. Everything about it is worse. The only thing worse than that is using a giant sort of Tom Hanks big style keyboard where you have to type in your credit card number like pressing the giant piano keys with your feet. That would be the only thing harder than doing it all on your phone. Like, oh, you think you're bad? Let's get out the foot keyboard. See how swift you are with that. My thumbs are so big. I'm always doing little typos. Imagine doing that while I'm booking an international flight on an airplane.

24:40Jason Stewart:I'm getting the schwitzes just thinking about it. You know what was happening to me, too? Because basically everybody on this tiny flight from Alamos, Colorado to Denver, to then transfer to Denver, was also on the same flight. And it's like a family, but like an extended family who'd been at a wedding, and they were all talking to each other the whole flight about how the how they were going to get home very loudly and let me guess you're gonna take a car you dumb bitch i was annoyed as fuck because they just wouldn't stop like you can't on the plane we don't talk that's just we don't that's not what we do on the plane we put our headphones on and we shut the fuck up and then we're getting off we were of course having to wait to get off the plane because they're pulling the bags off etc so there's nowhere to go and one of the sort of like you know red leaning guys with a backwards hat on but he was pushing 65 you know the type of guy i'm talking about in better shape than he should have been he's like oh okay okay he's like you gonna go and i was like and i look i was just like go where there's nowhere to fucking go we're not gonna off the plane and he was kind of like hey man hey buddy i was just trying to be polite i was just trying to do the right thing and i was like if alex wasn't here i would get i was i'm gonna freak the fuck out like this i was i was i was so i was like chris calm calm calm you don't do this anymore you're better than this now you don't freak out anymore and i i did i held the line jason i didn't yell i didn't scream i didn't get aggressive um and at this this denver this this denver airline it was literally called like denver i remember that i remember having a chuckle uh last week when you said we're taking denver airlines literally literally and the denver airlines that the stewardesses they hire are all sort of like goth thoughts who have just gotten like freckle tattoos i can't explain that it was psychedelic i've never seen swing like yeah literally i've never seen i've never seen this kind of cabin crew before like the first flight the girl was literally looked like she liked anime and the she had the freckle tattoos on her cheeks they were so fresh they could wash off and then and then on the way home it was like kind of like a thotty like i really like charlie xcx but i really really like my chemical romance was kind of the vibe of the woman and i was just like this doesn't make me feel safe i got a the used pussy tat yeah yeah yeah yeah like i i was like this doesn't make me feel safe like i don't like the way this makes me feel i don't i don't love i don't love that these people are in charge i feel like a my chemical romance 22 year old flight attendant is sort of giving the the butch lesbian who's gonna run this arby's like the navy i'm sort of not wrong no actually in them a little bit that's a good that's a okay i kind of you're at you i kind of see what you're saying i didn't think about it that way i just want somebody slightly more mature in my mind but i guess anybody can do the job i know what you mean and i i was i was experiencing a similar thing when we took a ryanair flight from biarritz france to dublin and there were three flight attendants on the flight combined total age of 61 years old you know every single it was just three irish people two girls and a gay they're they couldn't have been more than 23 years old each they had all the you know they were good on the mic they had everything memorized because a lot of times you're on these flights don't talk about these the stewardess like she's a battle rapper that she got she's good on the mic well because there's a a lot of times you're on a flight and you got somebody on there and maybe English is not their first language and they have to read it in France and in English and you hear them struggling.

28:23Jason Stewart:You can see they're holding the laminated thing and the only part of their job is to read these safety things. Imagine. And they fuck up every line. They can't say any words and I've got these three 22-year-olds who are doing it off-dumb, Lil Wayne style, nailing it, adding their own little sauce to it with a smile and i'm and i'm glad that we have denver airlines and ryan air it sort of acts as the farm league and these are the people who really want it their brain hasn't been destroyed yet by the you know all the mileage and the cabin pressure over the years i think you're right about that i can you imagine how it feels to be like a a stewardess on an airplane and the day that you realize you've got it memorized like the day that you can do the whole shit without the paper i mean that that must feel that must be that must be the greatest high you could ever experience in a in a career setting that must be that just must feel amazing electric yeah it's like the first day you know your artistic son does the rubik's cube with the blindfold on in under five minutes dude this is it this guy's gonna be fine i was wrong he's gonna be fine yeah like hey siri land this playing make no mistakes type shit and you actually do it did you see there's a um today there's a rolling stone digital cover that came out from uh olivia rodrigo's daisy chain festival speaking of uh of hey siri hey siri photoshop a digital dude uh exclusive all right first of all i want to say something and i was texting katie and shot about this sarah mclaughlin looks fucking amazing she looks amazing she sounded i watched all these videos she sounded amazing i was blown away like she she she was unbelievable at that festival let me pull her up sarah mclaughlin ig the official sarah mclaughlin she only got 370k she looked good like oh wait that was sarah mclaughlin on the cover that's that's what i'm saying bro she looks good she looks better than fucking chapel ron with clown makeup on well i thought that was um what's her name who is the who is the actress that was friends with taylor swift and now she's not anymore and she was in my mother's grave i thought that was blake lively i like that you would think i like that you were think that blake lively would be on the daisy chain music festival that's a different issue that you have i guess but i got and i mean and also not in my defense it says sarah mclaughlin's name underneath it does say the name it does say the name sarah mclaughlin looks better than blake lively you're not beating the literacy charges here but that's i mean whatever but yeah when you have that much beauty on the page i'm not looking at letters i'm looking at of course it's Olivia Rodrigo front and center, of course.