997. - James Austin Johnson

28:30Jason Stewart:I think both things can be true. I think both things can be true. I feel like you can, the more you love somebody, the more heartfelt and more care you give into the impression. Maybe your Dylan impression has more heart than your Trump impression because you like him more. Yeah, I mean, I wonder, like, because there's definitely, I like my Donald Trump character. the guy um as a guy as a guy yeah um and as a leader uh but like the uh but the like the character that i've created i certainly like i think sometimes when people are like oh you're too nice to trump i'm like i think i'm nice to my fun trump that i do like i think i think i like that guy also it's got to be fun like what else is it gonna be what you can't do like doomer trump no one wants to see that well we've already done that like we've done that so many comedians we live that have that covered already like like the i'm the devil trump has just we've already covered that and that's that's other comedians domain and i'd like to i'd like to stake new territory so i've always felt the same way i i grew up as a as a professional dj and you start looking at music in general as a currency that you can use for your craft versus like this is a song i like to listen to and i enjoy and you you have to take breaks just like a like a drug or whatever you have to like take a couple months off of you know listening to club bangers and just get into you know americana country western ambient kind of things or something drumless music anything ambient americana kind of sort of folky sort of roots kind of roots kind of thing sort of americana I got to get pedal steel into my life and knock the LMFAO out.

30:17We talk about roots a lot because I know it's a category, but what does it mean? It's a thing that we've explored because I know what Americana means in my mind, but what do you think pushes something into the roots category? Have y 'all, specifically, have y 'all watched my comedy special, Heal Yeah, out September 22nd? Not quite yet. No one sent us that, so I apologize. This conversation, I do a 15-minute, I don't know. Oh, actually, no, we've not watched. It hasn't come out yet. That's really funny. I do a 15-minute bit about people hemming and hawing between the distinctions of Americana, roots, country, indie folk.

30:56Like, I do a whole thing because I'm fascinated by this. This is like a conversation. I'm from Nashville. I know a lot of musicians. This is a conversation that happens all the time where somebody's like, yeah, no, not like pop country. Like, like I'm like, it's more like Americana, you know, sort of roots, kind of roots rock, sort of like strings based, but like not really like electronic, like obviously like not pop country. It's like not like trap drums. Like I don't want to say country like you're going to think there's trap drums. I'm talking about like it's more like that roots sort of like not really a brother where art thou soundtrack, but kind of like, you know, a little bit of that old time jam sort of like Smithsonian folkways sort of meets the Lomax recordings kind of like folk.

31:36I don't know, I feel like what I'm saying right now Oh god, I feel like I'm kind of talking about a Nick Drake type thing Definitely there's alternate tunings Definitely a lot of open tunings and stuff But not really like Joni Mitchell Do you know Bahamas? The stuff that they're doing in Canada Do you know this Nova Scotia guy who's doing It's not really Americana, but it's like a little bit I feel like singer-songwriter is kind of a loaded term I do a long thing about this You hear it all the time, Nashville sort of discussion. What is the... All right, let's take the three terms, though, and you tell me which band defines those three terms.

32:15You know, for each... Which one defines... Like, what's Roots? What's Americana? What is Indie Folk? What are the three... Like, the headliners at the festival, let's say. Indie Folk. I like Sufjan for Indie Folk. Indie Folk. I think you could probably call Sufjan, yeah. Yeah, but what about somebody good or popular? Do we have anybody else? Oh, wow. Maybe... Good or popular. Sufjan is being popular. Chris is jealous of him a little bit. I mean, I think if you play the Greek, we can call you popular. Period. That's a fair judge. That's a fair judge. I think popular is clearing the theaters thing.

32:51I don't necessarily think that you have to play MSG to be popular. No, he's beloved. I'm only joking because I don't like it. I never could wrap my head around it. Yeah, it's like Sufjan Stevens is indie folk. Jason Isbell I would call Americana I would call that Americana

33:09Jason Stewart:It's actually pronounced Isbel Yeah Nashville Isbel, Birmingham Birmingham Friend of the show Jason Isbell And then Roots I don't actually hear Roots said a whole lot When I think of Roots I think of museum music Like when I think of the word Roots I think of That makes me think that I'm going to go to a Q &A about early African-American gospel, Bob Wills, or like Woody Guthrie. Roots, to me, feels more like a Grammy category, and that's the only reason anybody knows the term. It's a distinction. It only exists to the Grammy voters. Now, I mean, from being such a kind of music-adjacent comedian, I'm not even a very good musician.

33:56I think I'm just like, I'm more like a music-criticism-adjacent comedian. But being in that world, I kind of like know, I literally know somebody on the Grammy Americana panel whose job it is to separate the wheat from the chaff and talk about what is Americana and what falls into mainstream country. So you have access to experts. You have access to the greatest minds working on this problem. The greatest minds working on this problem of where do we award Alison Krauss?

34:25Jason Stewart:Yeah, exactly. Is this indigenous new grass or is it not indigenous new grass? Yes, exactly. Is this folk, which folk still really is still a very powerful genre term like folk. For one thing, it's it's monosyllabic, but it also has it's mostly consonants and they seem to be at war with each other, but then also end up harmonious like folk. like saying it is odd and it has there's there's something really charming about saying folk but you get to a point where people are stomping and clapping and saying oh hey where you go this is not folk this is pop with folk veneer this is particle board with a with a finish a finish the finish that looks like natural wood you know i walk by the i walk by the bowery and canal intersection every day and that is where the stomping clapping fans are getting their videos because of the lumineers song and it's the the people who like the lumineers might appear different than you would assume if i if i'm saying like they're not it's not um it's fat chicks is what i'm trying to say it's kind of like it's kind of like it's not your grandma's lumineer fan yeah yeah i don't know what i thought a lumineers fan was but they they live outside of philadelphia and they come to new york on the bus and they take a picture there or they're a video most often where they're pointing at the signs and you thought they would be less fat overall i just want to say i just i need to say before we go any further ain't nothing wrong with a big ain't nothing wrong with a big woman of course not you're from nashville i know what you're into i'm not saying that i'm not saying that with that that's a beautiful that's a beautiful course we speak lovingly about our sisters like that that's a beautiful person to be clear did you grew up in nashville proper or were you in murfreesboro or something like that uh i grew up in nashville i actually grew up in nashville nashville like you know like the nashville that is being talked about a lot right now is actually not davidson county it's williamson county oh okay franklin say that part fire shots fire tell them put your foot down yeah like the celebrities are moving to franklin they're moving to our orange county they're moving to our beverly hills they're moving to our westchester or whatever so you're saying if i'm if i'm looking for you know nicole divorced Nicole Kidman.

36:41She's an hour out. She's in beautiful Stars Hollow-esque downtown Franklin. But Nashville, Nashville is a big city. It's little. They call it little big town. I'm from a gross part of town. I'm from five minutes south of the downtown strip. That is gross. It's gross. I love it. And I love where I'm from. I'm a city southerner. That's a specific thing. city me too brother me too brother i'm from atlanta yeah atlanta you get it it's you know when you say the south people are like rural i'm a rural guy and i'm like it's giving rural

37:20Jason Stewart:and you said no no no we got plumbing wi-fi and everything nashville it's it's a we have tacos now we got tacos major fucking city rural and also why is the south rural pennsylvania's rural period you're right and there needs to be some speak on it yeah drive an hour north from new york and yeah what do you mean the south is an hour outside of it an hour outside of atlanta unless is is is suburbs it's not you know what i mean it's not it's not the country it's not like it's like million dollar houses with big yards is sort of the vibe nashville has an ivy league like nashville has like nashville is a cultural epicenter a major cultural exporter for the entire globe nashville is like accounting for probably like 49 of the music business these days that's true i it's it's ridiculous to keep this a good amount of new small plates restaurants appearing on best of lists as well coming out their first three michelin stars um my favorite my favorite restaurant in the country locust got really one of nashville's first michelin stars yeah um shout out locust shout out chef trevor moran that guy that's my favorite chef so how often how often are you going back to tip your dip your toe in the southern lake to feel something Um, I, we go for a couple months every year, actually.

38:36We go. Oh, that's good. When my son was just born, we went a lot. We needed a lot of help from the grandparents, both, both my grandparents and my, sorry, both my parents and my wife's parents are there in Nashville. Um, but you know, Nashville's weird. I, I hated it for, for so long. I wanted to get out of there. I was raised there and I really wanted to be like doing comedy in LA and I wanted a different life. I wanted to be away from evangelicals and like, you know, like I wanted to be away from like political, like electing elected leaders with third grade educations. I was starting to get fucking sick of that shit.

39:12Sure. I was starting to get sick of like a guy from a place called like bean fart, like telling. He's making your decisions. Making decisions for us. Like I was I was starting to get sick of that. And, you know, you go to places like L.A. and New York and they're ungovernable.

39:28Jason Stewart:they're essentially reggie watts is running my fucking city council yeah it is it is ungovernable that's that's a good way to put it that's a good way to put it yeah ungovernable which um should excite the libertarian frankly and it's crazy that they lambast the cities like they do but um excellent point and then also i'm a touring comedian and you really quickly realize that red state blue state it's just it's really meaningless like because we're talking about a distinction of like a couple percentage points it's like oh that place is a red state and it's like yeah let's see what kind of red state it is all right 51 red 49 blue like oh that place is a blue state you're gonna love missachusetts and then it's like actually i think i named the most dense lean democrat leaning state in the entire country but you know what i mean where it's like these distinctions are very sure it's a difference of like a few thousand people when you really look at well especially if you're if you're you're going to the city itself you're not going you I mean, maybe sometimes you're doing chuckle fuck in Indiana, but mostly you're in major cities.

40:30Yeah, I mean, yeah, I do small towns. I mean, I just did a tour of all of these small towns in Maine that was awesome. And getting to find out the distinct flavors and characters. How many cities in Maine did you?

40:42Jason Stewart:Multiple Maine dates? Multiple Maine dates. I did like, well, let's see. I did, well, Nashua's not Maine. That was one of them. But I did Waldemar. I did Arundel. and I did Bangor. You sound like you're naming people's children that your child goes to school with in Brooklyn Heights, but you're saying these are cities in Maine. Sounds like you're naming apps that were made by AI to create HR solutions. Hold on. I can't even pronounce the first one you said. Waldenborough. But how many people are at this show? I tend to sell out. If I'm going to sell out, it's going to be those rooms that are like 200 to 300.

41:22Okay. And yeah, there's just so many cool little... It's pretty amazing you can do that, honestly.

41:28Jason Stewart:Being able to do three dates in Maine when people don't even consider going to the state of Maine for any show whatsoever at all, it's pretty... It's cool, and you're going to where they really want you, you know? Yes, I like going where the people are, and I like finding out where the used bookstores are, and I like seeing how people live, and I like seeing the arts communities. I like seeing the... I like finding out what the money is. I like finding out what the industry is. Why do people live here? How do they make their money? I love learning about every state. You're giving a little bit of a social studies major, if you don't mind me saying.

42:06Part of the job. I'm going to have a show on one of the Discovery Networks at some point where I'm talking about New Deal post office murals and shit. That's what I'm... That's the final frontier for you. That is. It's like stand up has just made me obsessed with like infrastructure in like small to medium cities and like trying to it's not my job and I don't want to be in politics. But like I want to somehow be a part of appreciating cities and like fixing what the future did to so many good American places. And like, it's almost like my Americana kind of roots, kind of music, kind of indie folk, kind of roots, kind of thing.

42:53It's almost like that has turned into this other, this other appreciation of Americana more broadly of like the art of, of like American daily life. Where I'm like, why the fuck aren't there streetcars everywhere? Nashville used to have amazing streetcars. Then, then they were like, we've finally come up with an alternative to taxis. It's more expensive taxis where all of the stuff is on the guy who owns it instead of on a company that could be blamed or sued or, God forbid, use its resources to maintain a consistent product. It's like, aren't you happy you get to get in a stranger's car? He might fucking kill you and the car sucks and you don't like it.

43:34And we've thought of an algorithm that subjects you to a totally different pricing model than your neighbor. I'm like, that's why I started taking taxis again. like i like taxis because like fucking tell me how much it is for the same of everybody right like you don't walk up to in and out and they tell you that a shake is different for you versus another person like i want to know what the fuck the price is of things i hate the algorithmic pricing shit and like so fuck fuck big tech and fuck all that shit i got i got killed the other night i got killed we did that we did an award show in chelsea and we were trying to get home because I had this giant trophy and fucking pizza in my hand.

44:09Well, congratulations. Uber was 175 to go from 14th and 8th to downtown. No. And I was like, no, I'm not. I'm going to get a cab. And then it took literally 20 minutes to find a cab at a very busy intersection. Yeah.

44:22Jason Stewart:James is about to go Zoron mode right now. I know. I'm afraid. I love the subway. I'm a big fan of public transportation and New Yorkers must take the subway. I don't think you can call yourself a New Yorker without taking the subway. I take the subway or I ride the city bike if at all possible. Of course you do. Well, the city bike, now that's dangerous. And it should come with a helmet. I've already got one. Once again, I said I didn't want to call you a pussy, but you keep pushing me. Hey, I've got one dead friend already from the fucking e-bikes. You didn't have to take it there, but I'm sorry for your loss.

44:51I got a dead friend already from the e-bikes. I mean, those things should come with the helmet. If the helmet is put legally, then it should come with a helmet. Or they should figure out how to get me a helmet. That should be next to the city bike fucking kiosk.

45:04Jason Stewart:Or they should use AI algorithms to decide if you're a good enough writer to need a helmet or not. You know what I mean? I think that the congestion pricing thing is cool. I'm like, I want to penalize strivers. It changed my life, dude. It changed my life. I used to live right near the Williamsburg Bridge. And the day they switched that on, the horn stopped. It was unbelievable. Like overnight, I swear to God, the horn stopped. It was unbelievable. This is my politics. My politics now, left or right, is make my life better, bitch. I dare you. Make my life better. material gains make living here nicer that's all i need you to do i don't need you to get fiddle with uh fiddle with what tv shows are on at what times like i could give a fucking shit and i could give a shit if this person's been platformed or de-platformed i don't care that's my choice to watch and listen to whatever the fuck i want make my life better bitch make things cost less make things easier to use make it so that in every city i can step onto a beautiful street car and see everything.

46:03Jason Stewart:I had a feeling this was all going to go back to street cars. You might be living in the worst city for the stuff you're talking about, but hopefully one day. I know. Well, New York gets to be New York. Did you live in LA at some point? I lived in LA for 10 years, and that so far has been the city that I liked the most and that I enjoyed life in the most, even though I do like to drive, and LA is, I think, the worst place to drive a car in America. maybe with Atlanta as a second. Atlanta's tough these days. They're neck and neck for sure. Yeah, but LA invented You Need a Car. That was like ground zero for You Need a Car.

46:44And what a terrible case study in You Need a Car. Like what other city is driving less pleasurable than in LA? It's the worst place to drive a car. And it should be great and it's not.

46:58Jason Stewart:I think for a long time it was. whenever I get into a taxi or a car with an old person driver, I always ask them, what was it like driving down the 101 in the 70s and 80s? And they're just like, oh, the city worked until the Mexicans showed up. The Mexicans showed up. The whites showed up. The whites showed up to Mexico. Look, that's what they're saying to me. I'm not saying that to them. Jason would never say that. He would never say that. The point being, it was a perfect city until too many people, you know, it was just overpopulated and congested and there's nothing you can do about it. But in the 70s and 80s, freeways worked.

47:38Jason Stewart:You could drive to the beach in 20 minutes in a fucking Volkswagen bug with, you know, smoke coming out of it and it was fine. When you are on the freeway and this, and I'm talking to someone who likes driving. I like driving little trucks. I am a Ford Rangers adherent. I'm on my third Ranger. What year? I'm driving a 94 Splash Ranger right now. Can you explain to a novice what the Splash means? I'm just going to talk about my philosophy about trucks for one second. Take your time. I hate big trucks. The big trucks, the new big trucks, they fucking suck. I agree. I'm sick of truck guys. The trucks are too big.

48:17It's insane to be a pro-life person, but you drive a truck designed to kill kids. You can't see kids from the driver's seat. Great point. The truck is too tall. Great point. And the way the engine compartment works, you don't need towing capacity. You live in a big city. You are not a rancher. You are not pulling eight steers through the wasteland. You don't need towing capacity. You are not a foreman on a site. This truck is never seeing a job site. This is a vanity truck. Hey, look, for some people, Air One is a job site. And I think we need to represent those people as well.

48:52Jason Stewart:And I do need three parking spaces. Here's the thing. I'm a sport truck driver. The seasons are changing, Jason. You got to get that fucking wardrobe whipped into shape. You can't show up underdressed, overdressed, too warm, too cold. And luckily with Quince, they got pieces you want to keep wearing. The sweater that goes with everything, the perfect pair of pants, or the t-shirt that somehow you always reach for first. Those are the pieces that make getting dressed easy. And that's what Quince does the absolute best. Yeah, that's right. And during these transitional times, as seasons change, me personally, I'm in the sauna.

49:30Jason Stewart:I'm out of the sauna. I want something that's breathable, but also looks bougie and nice where I can go to a fancy dinner. I don't know. Does 100 % Mongolian cashmere do that? Oh, did he say that? Did he say that? It does, Jason. Yeah, yeah. So I'm breathing. If it gets a little hot, that's okay, because it's nice and breathable. if it gets too hot, you know, pull that sweater off and then tie the arms around your neck. And guess what? You just went from a seven to a nine and a half. Okay, Preppy. Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to quince.com slash howlong.

50:07Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada and the UK too. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C.com slash how long this episode of how long gone jason is brought to you by better help help if you could wake up tomorrow and be better at one thing what would it be well i i can't that's a laundry list i don't have enough we don't this is longer than a cvs or paddle tennis for me this looks like a fucking ancient scroll if you're looking at my list it can be funny or vulnerable um uh so i'm going to say I'm going to say I could be better at sort of being selfish. You know, I want it Chris's way or the highway, and I need to kind of work on that.

50:49Jason Stewart:Oh, you mean better at being less selfish? Better at being less selfish, and I think that's something I could talk to with my Better Help therapist, Jason. Better is a feeling defined by you, and for Better Help, it's a Better Help therapist who really gets you to focus on global emotional well-being with thousands of therapists and millions of members in over 100 countries. It's progress, baby. And it's getting better. You know, it's getting better, Jason. I think it's going to work if you talk to your BetterHelp therapist. That's something I would recommend for you as well. Yeah, Chris, Virgo season is here and we all have to talk to our Virgo parents, family members, spouses, partners, et cetera.

51:28Jason Stewart:And you're going to need this BetterHelp. Sign up and get 10 % off at betterhelp.com slash how long that is better. H-E-L-P as in pumpkinmilk.com slash how long.

52:04for planned features and network management details.

52:09I am driving my truck as a sports car, and I recognize that. That's why I'm driving a tiny truck. That's why I like tiny trucks. I want a little sexy truck. When I want a bed, which is twice a year, I've got it. But for the most part, I just want to be in this tiny little cocoon of a cab where I have 99 % visibility in a way that I don't have in any other vehicle. I can see absolutely everything from the cab of a mid-90s Ranger. It doesn't have airbags. I don't feel safe, but it also can't drive fast. So I'm not going to kill me. If I'm going to die... It's at the hands of another big truck. Yeah, well, it's being T-boned by a cop.

52:51T-boned by a cop running a red light is how I'm going to die. But I have no control over that. So I don't like the big trucks. I like these little trucks. and every maker has their little truck. Toyota has the Tacoma. That's probably the most popular one these days because they're still making it. Ford had the Ranger. I grew up in Ford Rangers. My grandpa had one. These are just, I guess they call them compact trucks now, but they used to just be called trucks because trucks didn't used to be.

53:19Jason Stewart:Yeah, before the Tacoma came out, Toyota just called it, this is the pickup truck. This is the pickup truck and now a pickup truck. My brother had one. It was just a white box, stick shift, hand crank windows. drive the shit out of it, roll it off of a hill, never dies. I know. That's the other reason. But it's the other reason I favor the mid-'90s Ford Rangers. But the way trucks are designed now, they design them like Star Destroyers from fucking Star Wars. And they cost$118 ,000 when you drive them off the lot. They're a billion dollars. And they kit out with all of the trims, the ones that are on the lot, so you can't even buy a base model.

53:59like that you have to wait for that to come in you can only buy the harley davidson lariat edition yes exactly it's a luxury item and it's not how it's meant to be that's not how it's meant to be that's not god's plan no they're suburbans and it's like okay so you're too much of a pussy to just buy a suburban you need you need the i'm the i'm i'm a badass looking version of buying a suburban like you should you want to be driving a a four-row family suv but like that makes you feel emasculated. And so you buy this other truck. Um, so I drive the little trucks. They, um, yeah, I get good visibility.

54:37Um, there's a nostalgia and a familiarity, but they're also like easy to park. Cause they're as long as a, my splash Ranger has like a short, um, it's just short overall. It's the smallest truck I've ever driven. It might as well be like a Japanese truck, like one of those, one of those three wheelers that you see in old movies. But like, uh, uh, What I love about them is that they're not lifted up. It just has that bed when I need it. And I have this kind of like a heart twinge. It's just one of those things. I just like it. I can't help it.

55:11Jason Stewart:Do you have a handmade wooden box for your cassettes in there? Past trucks have had cassette players, and I'm really pissed this one doesn't. Ideally, it would be a combo cassette CD no aux situation. No aux. The previous owner of this Ranger that I bought, which at some point got a new paint job. So it's like, and it's white, which I was not, I've never been into a white vehicle. In general, when I see a white vehicle, it's like, you're the type of person who's like... Armenian?

55:45No, because I know Armenian people and they have taste. I think that the white truck says I have no tastes. I have no opinions. I have no hobbies. I have no friends.

55:56Jason Stewart:What kind of car do you want? Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Whatever you got. I'll take a car if you have one, please. I'll take car. So, like, I would love it at the very least if it was jet black, but I drive it in Nashville and jet black truck just means I'm a white ISIS guy. Like, jet black vehicle means, like, I'm militant MAGA. Like, that's what that means. It's a Punisher skull without having to affix the Punisher skull. Exactly. Give me the Punisher skull. Black truck, blue lives. I get it, brother. Thin blue line flag with the Don't Tread on Me license plate. The Don't Tread on Me license plate is the most popular specialty license plate in Tennessee.

56:37I think 38 ,000. I think there are 38 ,000 Don't Tread on Me license plate cars on the road in Nashville. I mean, look, to be fair, I mean, it's the coolest one. It's a cool flag. It's a cool flag. I'll give you that. But you are a libertarian. you want the don't try to me license plate because you are a libertarian you hate the government government's been so mean to you you hate the government so much that you went to the county clerk stood in line waited your turn and paid the government for permission to put a gadsden flag on the back of your car when you could have gotten a bumper sticker of the snake and not affixed a license plate to the back of your vehicle at all you're a libertarian right wouldn't the best license plate for a libertarian be no license plate at all because shouldn't you be willing i mean these are your ideals this is the sum of your politics shouldn't you be willing to have this argument with every cop that pulls you over shouldn't you be so excited to evangelize your worldview at every opportunity why why are you engaging with mr government at all please mr government you've been so mean to me can i please have a little snake i'll give you all the money you asked for if i could please have a little snake talk about how been how you've been mean to me i don't understand it i don't understand the official legal don't tread on me license plate it doesn't make any sense i think all custom license plates are kind of desperate loser shit unfortunately whoa i'm a i'm a specialty license plate user i just think that i think it's a chance for people to try to be clever and most of them fail oh is what when you're when you're getting your own letters yeah i'm talking yeah i'm talking about your own letters about the art on the background i'm talking about the wallpaper i'm talking about paying a little bit extra to get the fishing conservancy that has a splashing fish on it.

58:43Yeah, no, that's fine. That's breast cancer awareness, whatever. That's fine. I'm saying like you and your homies sitting around smoking a joint, trying to come up with the right combo to make something funny is just a little bit like, think about that like deep down. How does that make you feel? It doesn't make me feel very good. The other day I was doing a stand-up set and I got my notebook out to see if I had anything new. written down probably from one of my weed walks probably from a walk i went on after my wife and son went down and i had a you know two puffs of a j and started walking around thinking of one-liners and i just opened to one page on stage and it just said don't remember writing this down it just said the words shiver me himbos okay okay like what What could that possibly...

59:31What application could that possibly be? Where could I ever use Shiver Me Himbos?

59:38Jason Stewart:A play on the Shiver Me Timbers. Yes, it's Shiver Me Timbers, but with Himbos, which itself is a portmanteau of... I mean, I guess if you are like a Himbo lover and you stumble upon like a Himbo convention, just a large concentration of them, and you really like them. So it's like you're in a forest full of Himbo trees and you say, oh, Shiver Me Himbos. I'm up to my neck in himbo. I'm pleased as punch. Wow, you're really grounding it. I mean, I would have just settled for, you know, Simpsons visual gag of like a gay bar that someone's walking past. Yeah, that works just as well. Pirate-themed gay bar, you know, shiver me himbo.

1:00:15That could exist. I think that's the thing. I think if you haven't Googled it yet, it's possible. There's three of them already in Miami. I just checked. That feels like something that somebody's come up with.

1:00:23Jason Stewart:On the weed walk, is it sativa, indica, or are you kind of what-ups? Hybrids. I don't like any one way. I didn't realize that for many years, at the height of my smoking weed when I could have been being a person and productive and thoughtful and compassionate and everything else, at the height of kind of like that, I think I was actually treating like an ADD diagnosis that I didn't know was there. This year at 37, I got the ADD allegations from not just from my wife who went to graduate school for therapy and stuff, but also from my therapist. And I think maybe I got it from one other qualified source.

1:01:14And I was like, all right, I should take this seriously and see if I – I'll read one of the books about it and I'll try the medication and see if it makes my life better.

1:01:23Jason Stewart:I should take this seriously and finally switch to a hybrid strain. I think that's brave of you. Big. No, I mean... I was hoping you were snorting Adderall, but you're saying it's just... I thought that I had some ADD as well, but then my therapist was like, probably not. You're actually all right. You just have other problems. Yeah, that's the thing is that it could look... There's a lot of other things that have similar symptoms, and then sometimes you get prescribed the wrong medication. See, that's why I wanted to read the book about it, And that's why I wanted to experiment because I've gotten plenty of other different diagnoses throughout my life of like, it's just anxiety, it's depression, it's this or it's that.

1:02:01So the way you know is if the ADD medication makes your life better. Like if it just makes your day better and if it helps. That's how you know if you have it or not. Because it's a thing with a bunch of diffuse symptoms. It's kind of overdiagnosed and it's kind of a joke. It's like a meme to say, oh, ADD. sort of like people do with OCD, where it's like, oh, those are real things, and they kind of ruin people's lives low-key, so it's good to know what they are.

1:02:28Jason Stewart:So once you start with your first medication, it's kind of whatever, and then on your third, and then you wake up, and you're like, is this how everybody feels every day? Then that's when you know. Prozac was something that I'd been on off and on in previous years, and that never felt like that was what the problem was. Does Does Prozac make you gain weight, though? I don't know if it made me gain weight, actually. It's a boner killer, and it makes alcohol supercharged too much. Okay, I did know that part. It makes one beer feel like three and a half. The first time I got put on Prozac, and it takes a couple weeks to get going.

1:03:06I remember when I first got put on Prozac as an open miker in Nashville, I embarrassed myself really hard because I was a big drinker at the time, obviously. I was depressed. They put me on Prozac. You were an open miker in Nashville. Who wasn't drinking, huh? Exactly. I had a tall can or something like that. I was like, oh, I've been drinking on this medication already. They said it gets up to full strength in two or three weeks, but whatever. I'm just going to do what I normally do. Then I woke up having passed out on W. Kamal Bell's green room couch, who was the headliner that I was doing five minutes before.

1:03:45So like the guy with the terrible set, you know, at the beginning of the night was passed out in the touring headliners green room. And I was like, OK, I can't. I actually can't drink. And so I've been on different things and all this kind of stuff. But now I'm like, I have an ADD medication I take in the morning that definitely is helping everything in my life. And then you seem better. And I'm not really drinking like I used to. Thank you, brother. not really drinking that much.

1:04:15Jason Stewart:From last year's podcast episodes I heard you on, you seem a lot better. I don't know if it was a Tim Heidecker episode or something like that. Less funny overall, but mentally you're already. Better, better. And then I'm definitely not reliant on alcohol or weed like I was in my 20s, just overall from growing up. But I still like a puff and a half of a joint on a walk late at night to help to help coast down into the initial descent yeah man i'm with you brother yeah chris is sort of the same way yeah going silly mode at uh 11 p.m is great especially as a comedian needs to think up stupid things like i i actually do for work need to wander the streets of new york at midnight doing javier bardem voice under my breath like i i have to for work so um i Lastly, I know you're a Dylan lover, and I saw a quote from maybe the upcoming special.

1:05:12Jason Stewart:Bob Dylan gave us skinny little creepy little white guy acoustic rock. Yes. To go topical, do you think Ed Sheeran counts as that category of creepy little white guy acoustic rock? Oh, without a doubt. I think he's got amazing—obviously, he's got bangers. it's apocryphal but they say that the they say that the Elaine dancing in front of her employees bit is based supposedly based on Lauren or something like that oh yeah yeah yeah so I've always been like I'm gonna watch out and I can't wait to see my man dance cause I love that guy I think he's great and when Ed Sheeran was playing I don't know what the song is called like oh I love you when I

1:06:06I saw Lorne just like grooving hard to that shit. Like Lorne dancing to that shit was like really, really like a beautiful 30 rock moment for me. Like unironically, like this is awesome.

1:06:21Jason Stewart:Like moving more than when Paul Simon himself is playing or Sir Paul McCartney. See, that's his buddy. That's his friend. He just wants their set to go well with Ed Sheeran. That's for Lorne. That is for Lorne to enjoy. That is a beautiful moment that he's having with one of the big pop stars. Unfortunately, I don't think Ed's going to be back this year, but we can keep our fingers crossed. Inshallah. I think he's great. But yeah, we can talk about it for a second. There's a double standard in men's wardrobe versus women's wardrobe if we want to single in on this. And I think this is Bob Dylan's fault.

1:07:01You know, before Bob Dylan, you had to be Doris Day. You had to be Johnny Mathis. You had to be hot and your voice had to be good. You had to be beautiful and buttoned up and you had to sing well and beautifully and we needed pretty voice. Bob Dylan's the first guy to crawl out of a sewer going... to like get a recording contract. And that's how he sings and shit. And I say that with all the love of my heart. I'm a big fan. But can we call it singing? It's something better than singing. It's something better. And yeah, he busted it wide open. He was like, you can be a creepy little bird man. You can be a little Jim Henson Dark Crystal.

1:07:44Jason Stewart:I could be a Benny Blanco and still slay the day away. That is cool. In fact, that image is a part of it. So that's why I think today you have Beyonce at, like, say, the American Music Awards in$60 ,000 worth of bespoke Prada looking, you know, face beat, hair, gorgeous, you know, fully glammed to the gods. And then next to her, you got Ed Sheeran in Rick and Morty pajamas, you know.

1:08:17Too true. Like, there's still something going on where we just accept that there is an earthy authenticity and folksiness to the music that some of these guys can make. And sometimes I go, like, we haven't quite figured this all out where it seems like women are permitted to do the same thing or encouraged to do the same thing. Like, I think there still is a pressure to look amazing, but it's, like, cool when a guy doesn't or whatever. I don't know. I'm not qualified to talk about this.

1:08:50Jason Stewart:Well, the three of us together, we form one person who's qualified enough, I think. But I think it transcends the troll males as well and into the attractive males who get lots of chicks. Like Chris Martin, for example, he can go on stage wearing an Apple Watch with a purple band, whereas Beyonce would never. Chris Martin is six fucking three. Yeah, yeah. Chris Martin is beautiful and six fucking three. He looks great, but his choices in stage clothing are unbelievable, I would say. But imagine the female version of him going out on stage, like I said, with a purple tie-dye Apple watch. You know what I mean?

1:09:31Jason Stewart:That's not part of the look. Sabrina Carpenter has a special outfit that's rigged to be able to do the choreo and all that stuff. This is where we bring up Billie Eilish. This is where we bring up Billie Eilish, where we go, well billy eilish is wearing the clothes kind of of of like um a boy who doesn't give a shit at times you know what i mean sometimes that's what her but still it's all dialed in and it's perfect and underneath it all that's like a beautiful beautiful celebrity woman you know what i mean like that's that's the other thing is like yeah y 'all want to dunk on ed sheeran for for wearing and Night of the Living Dead fit.

1:10:13You know what I mean?

1:10:15Jason Stewart:But that is... For wearing a Denver Nuggets basketball jersey or something like that on stage. Yeah, but that is still... That's still a very attractive celebrity person. At a certain point, if you just have the physical attributes that are good for television, you can do whatever you want. Do you feel like you have those since you're on television? No. No. How big is your head? Not metaphorically, like physically. Oh, God. In proportion to your body. Yeah, nose. Nose only. Like how much ratio is nose to head? Because I think nose is carrying a lot of... Do you watch yourself on TV game tape style or do you try to avoid it?

1:10:56In general, I try to avoid it. But I also don't want to be one of those actors who is like so insulated from their output. Like I know a lot of actors are that way. like the acting that I did was on the day. I did that day. That's my contribution. I'm like a lighting tech where I did my thing and now I'm stepping back. Like I respect that notion, but I do, I don't, I don't want to live with fear. And I think that that's a fear driven thing. And like, I don't want to have fear. I want to exposure therapy my way through it the way I do with planes and other fears of mine. Like I, I want to push through it and face it and deal with it and make it a part of my life.

1:11:37So I try to watch myself. It was tough when I started the job. My wife was pregnant and I was coming off of COVID. I think I'd been eating Hawaiian food and vodka sodas for a year and a half solid. A lot of Mac salad in the body. A lot of Mac salad and a Yeti full of Tito's. I had an unhappy COVID. What part of Eagle Rock were you living in bro i was in a 200 year old uh i was in like a 200 year old apartment building in glendale and it was just falling the apart and like in la my wife and i miscarried at the very start of the lockdown and then la it rained on la for like two weeks straight and i just saw this like diarrhea stain on our ceiling grow bigger and bigger and bigger knowing that our terrible landlord was never going to do anything about what it was and so we had like a sad um lockdown and i just i literally ate like katsu and mac salad and white rice like five meals a day you know what i mean it was basically an alcoholic it would be like the the 32 ounce tito soda and then that would be like two ipas and then that would be like boda box hitting hoots off a boda box all night until i fell asleep like i was i was trying i think i was trying to kill myself

1:13:03Jason Stewart:So you're one of those guys who had a bad COVID. Got it. Okay. Had a bad COVID. Damn, that sucks. Yeah, but my videos became my escape. And once we learned that we could go outside, that became huge for me. So getting into going on walks and doing voices and recording it is why I have a career today. And I'm so grateful to Will Forte and John Mulaney and a few other people who saw those videos and passed them along to Lorne. And we're like, look at what this guy's doing on his walks in Glendale during the lockdown. Like, he's just kind of like, seems like he's just bullshitting in character all of this endless stream of bullshit.

1:13:45Like, there's, look, there's like two hours of this shit of, like, Trump talking about Maxwell's version of this woman's work. Like, that's what got my foot in the door. And then I got to show them all my other impressions and bits and my personality and stuff. And it's been a crazy ride, and I can't believe it. But it took me a minute to get over losing L.A. Like, I loved L.A. And we moved, and we had our son in the Christmas break of my first season. And so my son is a New Yorker. This is where he was born, and this is where he's from. And my wife loves New York, too. and more than she ever liked LA, I think.

1:14:34And so I am now learning to love New York as much as they do. I like New York because I like walking and trains and, you know. City infrastructure? People read and it's also, you get everything. You get every kind of person and every kind of economic status. Like, it does feel like a really healthy culture to grow up in. You know what I mean? I agree. It's impossible for it to go any one way for anybody. So everybody's just a little bit miserable. And that keeps it flying at this one good altitude as a city. So I'm locking in and enjoying New York. But it was definitely hard when I started the job to, like, think, man, I'll never drive that little ranger to Target.

1:15:23ever again. That was what I loved in LA. It's a big city, but you can still drive a truck to Target. So now I do that in Nashville for like a month of vacation every year. You still get your fill when you need to. Good to hear it.

1:15:39Jason Stewart:Glendale's always here when we need it, brother. Come on down. The water's warm. The Target is only being raided by the police two or three times a week at this point, so that's fine. The barbecue's still Hawaiian. The shrimp is still fried. Oh, my God. That's awesome. What else do you guys want to talk about? That's it. That's it. Literally. That's it. That's perfect. We did it. Well, actually, I had one last question on the Bob Dylan stuff, and we'll end it. But when you're talking about his looks and the looks of the Ed Sheerans and all that stuff, if Bob Dylan were, say, 30 years old today, do you think he would be a little more looks maxed?

1:16:18Jason Stewart:Would he be tempted to improve his body with science and trainers and nutrition and stuff like that versus what he had access to in the 60s. I'm worried that I've implied that Bob Dylan is not hot, but let's take a second and think about it. Of course, of course. High cheekbones. He was serving puss. Mysterious poet.

1:16:41He's serving puss. I don't know how giving a lover that guy is. I don't know that he's giving.

1:16:49Jason Stewart:Bob's more of a taker, but that makes him hotter. Do you think Bob's maybe on his DiCaprio where he keeps the headphones in while he's smashing? You know, listening to his own music? Listening to his own music? No, Bob's listening to the score of the 1927 film, Lon Chaney film, The Unspeakable, or something like that. No, he's listening to like 78 of Sister Rosetta. He's such an old blues head. He was going through a Ricky Nelson thing where he kept posting like clips, TV clips of Ricky Nelson for like a year. That was like what his Instagram was, was just like random Ricky Nelson live clips. That's exactly how he should be using Instagram.

1:17:35Well, now he's really into AI or his team is where he's like using AI to like have Andrew Jackson write letters to Ella Fitzgerald or whatever. It's very bizarre what he's doing right now. Would he be into the looks maxing? I don't know. I don't think he would be bought in by that. What's essential to the art of Bob Dylan is like a backward looking gaze. He's never been like someone who looks to the future. Like, he's someone who wants to, he's 82, but he wants people to think he's 138. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah, sure, sure. It's the opposite of what most people are doing. That's why he's lasted as long as he has and you know the main i would say that the you know it seems like he's got and he's got a good head of hair so he doesn't have to do the hair transplant and he's also shown us that he's comfortable with wigs like he had he had a good 10 years where he wore like a justin bieber swoop wig under a zip yeah classic hood like he wore that on red carpets for a long time like a whoopie wig with like a with like a hoodie on so like he and now he's wearing a fucking raincoat on stage like he's got the north face shell north face shell and the nice sand color

1:18:53Jason Stewart:shell and sand i know what he's getting for christmas this year yeah literally from the catalogue yeah it's what do we have in natural tones anything for bob in here small size small somebody sent me this picture of him with the shell on drinking drinking a uh drinking like a Sauvignon Blanc on a balcony somewhere. That's you, bro. That could be you, bro. This is all I've ever fucking wanted. That could be you. I just want to write 17 minute long songs about the JFK assassination, sip a little white wine in the sun, and then jam with my friends. It could be worse. Alright, look. It's going to happen for you one day, brother.

1:19:27Jason Stewart:I feel it. Okay, the special. The special, it's called Heal Yeah. I made it with my friends. Directed by Brian B. Stray. He's a great filmmaker. I collab with him all the time. And I just made it, and I'm putting it out. and I hope you watch it. I mean, it's like, as they say on Chopped, this is me on a plate. Okay, great. Sounds good. Served up. Well, I'll definitely watch it. I'm a big fan. So thank you for taking the time to do the podcast. Yeah, we appreciate it. We appreciate it. Hey, it's been an honor. I mean, honestly, thanks for having me. Anytime, bro. We'll see you soon. Thanks, man.

1:19:59All right. Bye-bye.

1:20:10an undercover cop who had a sister named Jan. For reasons unexplained, she loved the monkey man. Tweet her was a boy scout.