Rerun: Lena Dunham (277)

0:00Jason, we're at the age where we've attended a lot of weddings, not only our own, but friends, family, etc., etc. And the through line, unless they hire you, is shitty music. Yeah, the cross-section of people who can DJ a wedding well and people who are cool, very small. So much that you'd have to throw a dart at a dartboard and hit a bullseye just to find them. And luckily we did, Chris. Thank God. And Dart works with actual musicians and artists, many of whom have their own careers and tour in bands like Leon Bridges, Taylor Swift, The Dare, Sabrina Carpenter. I could go on and on. Dart DJs use vinyl and are cool in a way that your friends would be, not in a dated Vegas performer type of way.

0:41And they have an in-house stylist so they don't show up looking like shit. Shout out to Pete for that one. Dart can do intimate stuff to huge celebrity events as well. hiring dart feels like hiring your very talented friend who happens to be a dj dart is for people who actually like music with 14 years in the biz tons of experience i've worked with them highly recommended so if you are getting married or you have any type of cool event going on and you need a good dj they got you hubs in la sf austin new york chicago all over the place dart like throwingadart-collective.com. That's D-A-R-T-C-O-L-L-E-C-T-I-V-E.com.

1:23Email michael at dart-collective.com and tell him that Chris and Jason from How Long Gone sent you.

1:45i'm just a little upset today as we start this podcast oh no not well i mean we we've had a great run uh you know the album came out today uh it's in stores everywhere which means uh jack jaguar.com uh shop.howlonggone.com as well as amoeba records in hollywood but we were left off um kind of an important list the hype beast 100 okay the hype beast 100 what it's it's a list of the most important movers and shakers uh in the streetwear industry um okay and i just i kind of don't understand like what what we have to do like maybe our shit isn't ugly enough and that's something that i've considered but if you have any tips on on you know what you think we should do uh i think it might be the problem is we actually make too much streetwear and we have sort of grown out of that grown out of that cage and now we're just kind we're just a line you know we're just a clothing line at this point we're considered more of like a ready-to-wear kind of business than we are a streetwear business is that safe to say if you do if you do enough cut and sew then people kind of start looking at you differently you know the price points a little differently the stockists of course of course the stockists have changed as and our attitudes have change so who's is this a ranked list or is it just uh just a name just a bunch of names uh it's just a bunch of names uh you know there's there's some friends of the show of on there you know what i mean of course but fuck them yeah but fuck anybody that's on that list um obviously kanye west uh jay balvin you know um all kinds of important best menswear brand louis vuitton best women's wear brand jacquemus best collaboration balenciaga and gucci i mean they're just giving out of words left and right yeah i love i love the streetwear of gucci i do too i nothing says streetwear like gucci and balenciaga as yeah and also the streetwear work that jacques mu has done well he makes he makes sneakers sometimes he's made a t-shirt before yeah he's made a t-shirt but is it was it an awake t-shirt definitely not no definitely not exactly you make a great point jason so we're left off that list it's a tough end to the year but um something to grow on for next year right exactly something to work towards and spirits are still high because because you know the album is is out today we did a special t-shirt with sam jane a nice white long sleeve co-branded with our label and uh you know otherwise i did have to i have to see hunter again in the afternoon because of my busy schedule which is throwing off my chi but i'm happy to be podcasting with you jason because this is what we fucking do baby yeah i haven't even had time to work out at all but i think i might go to the gym uh later this afternoon for the first time in in what seems like a week which is which is exciting for me but it's hard to get over that hump when you've been when you're when you're out of the game you don't have that it's it's not a part of your daily routine when you haven't been able to go so that first step back into equinox is always the hardest right no it's it's true luckily i have ladder pre-workout my body will vibrate in a certain way and my hair will tingle so much that until i knock out that cardio i'm you know i'm i'm not i'm i'm basically ready to be hospitalized if i don't work out when jason's when jason's when jason's gone off the ladder he's he's a threat to himself and others until he gets on that treadmill and we need to watch that don't put the glock 9 in his hand i'm liable to wrap the tesla around a telephone pole if i don't if i don't pull out those kettles off of a full scoop of laddie and have you got you haven't you haven't gotten to the point where you're doing more than one scoop right no no no i wouldn't do that i would never do two lines at a time you would never take um you know a supplement a medication or anything like that in excess over the suggested dose you always take two advil every 16 hours right that's what you do i'm a doctor's order kind of cat you know what i mean i'm really into it don't risk it don't chance it those guys make the big bucks and that's not for you to decide speaking of risk jason feel the same way about covid vaccines and stuff like that exactly speaking yeah speaking of of covid you know it seems like new york is popping again and when you say popping well it just seems like it seems like the corn balls of the new york media industry are once again trying to trace you know how covid infected people who party every night which is a little bit of a boring i'm just like what year is it guys like the we don't need the the basil to to new york pipeline yeah why why is that so tantalizing for people i don't know because it's tattletale shit it's a really is it just goes back to tattletale shit and it gets clicks i'm sure and it gets it gets your peers talking about you which i guess is the author but i the the tattletale part that makes sense but i feel like that pendulum swung both ways where the first time it happened it was like oh the reason why covid hit america was the the mu mu party and and at the time it was like oh that was sort of like a badge of honor like i got the hottest most chic covid you can get but then the other side of it is you know the shaming of people who needed to go to a mu mu party and now thanks to you my kid has to take zoom school you fashion motherfuckers so exactly and of course we are on the other side of celebrating guests who were proudly members of the covid positive family because only because they were invited to a cool fashion party and that's who we pod for that's who we pod for uh it's it's much worse yeah i mean the thought of getting covid in paris at a mu mu party versus getting covid at the buzzfeed holiday party is a pretty wide gap you know what i mean as far as as far as coolness goes or or simply the buzz stop you know a lot of people don't talk about that you know the public transport that's it yeah the buzz stop the buzz the buzz stop that's where that's where everyone parks their rate there that's where everyone parks their bird scooters in santa monica to take the buzz the buzz the buzz feed bus to their to their work pods shout out to everyone who works at buzzfeed you guys rock no shout out to buzzfeed uh that's the third yeah that's the that's the lowest on the totem pole of places to to catch the new variant but But I think this is just our new normal, and this is going to happen, and apparently it's not as deadly.

8:28But the way people are talking about it and making corny jokes about Christmas and, you know, oh, no, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I hope I can stay inside. It's just like you guys aren't funny. This shit is not funny anymore. You know what? I think we'd be better off if we just ignored it completely. So I'm part of the problem as well. Okay. Well, it takes a big man to make that realization, and i'm proud of you for doing that let's um let's start the movement we ain't gonna talk about no covet no mo okay well um what else is there to talk about then i'm at a loss absolutely nothing that's all i got have you seen succession and covet that i watched succession while being positive go on i'm gonna go on live and watch succession covet tonight if anyone wants to chime I'm in.

9:16I'm also going to have wine all the time. I can't wait till I see 50 people on a Zoom Christmas succession watching party. That's really what I... No, this is just... It really has... It's really interesting how COVID has exposed. Truly, the corniness level is higher than we could have ever imagined in this country with not only people you'd expect it from, but our peers. And that is... Succession and COVID are the two things that have exposed that the most to me in 2021. I like that we're using the word exposed in pertinence to a viral infection as well. That's just good copywriting. Yeah, how could I not?

9:53It kind of comes naturally to me off dome. But I told you about the Netflix thing I watched and liked, Single All the Way. Yeah, I wasn't able to get through that one. Well, that's a mistake on your part. It's great. and it's i also like that netflix has done this thing now where every relationship on one of their like kind of cheesy movies is is biracial like every single relationship is is biracial and like the parents or if there's a family dynamic one of them has to have you know be adopted in a wheelchair whatever it is of course and i think that's great for the inclusion of course i'm not knocking that but same where it's like all right slow down what is the what is the magic number what is the golden ratio of of straight whites to non-straight whites in terms of casting to where it's like okay this is a this is a natural fit sweet spot yeah i i that's a great question we should ask some of the executives at the netflix corporation about that we're driving the train while we're building the track so everyone gets a pass of course and it's better to err on the side of over overdoing it versus underdoing it that's very true no that's very true and i i think that but but just let me implore you again to watch single all the way it's better than succession uh it's it's it's more entertaining than pen 15 or whatever you guys are still talking about it's a classic gay christmas movie and that is something that i had didn't know i needed in my life but i what are some other classic gay christmas movies you you said the word classic so i feel like you know there's some other that's what i'm saying i think it's a i think iggy azalea voice the new classic is what i'm talking about so i think this is i think i think this is a genre you know netflix may have invented and is pushing if if any of our listeners uh want to make a gay uh a gay christmas movie list i would love to plow through those over the holidays or be plowed by that list exactly yeah yeah i'd like to be plowed i love to be yeah i love to be yacked senselessly by that list of uh of four films i got yeah three of them available on dvd only yeah it could be a dvd only thing uh and they and those might be tough to track down so you for some of those titles you might have to look in the adult section that's just uh yeah yeah that's just a streamer tip i do a lot of streaming so you know i want to pass that on to you i do a lot of streaming sorry just saw a tweet that says and just like that nyc is locked down again i'm gonna kill myself okay we do have a guest today we do uh ld big ld we've been we've been uh talking about having her on the show for quite a while um jason and i are both fans of her work starting all the way back at tiny furniture from the the classic girls program on the hbo network uh her piece de resistance her book which i read in one flight uh from new york to vancouver i devoured it as they would say um but but lena lena has been around the hollywood block she just got married I think she's living part-time in London.

12:48I can't keep up, Jason, but Lena Dunham is our guest today on How Long Gone. This is a Christmas treat, isn't it? This is a Christmas treat. Usually we would be giving you a Chris and Jason episode, but Santa came early and he delivered an actual celebrity to the How Long Gone metaverse. So you're welcome. And just like our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, as it pertains to the Jewish community, this is just one of many gifts to come. It's not a Christmas, here's your present, see you next year. This is just one ingredient in a menagerie of guests. We're a Hanukkah forward as far as eight days is kind of the gift vibe that we give.

13:31But let's tap in with Lena and see what's going on. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Sounds about right until you actually do the goddamn math. For most, business shipping is that thing. What is it actually costing you? Because if nobody's questioning it, it's probably costing way more than it should. ShipStation makes switching easy and the savings are immediate. Yeah, Chris, the shipping game, you go to the post office, you go to any of these places, and unless you have a friend on the inside who knows what's going on, they're going to get you. The cost of all this stuff, they don't want it to be cheap and easy for you.

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14:42That's ShipStation.com slash howlong. ShipStation.com. Code howlong. Taxes and fees do apply. You know, Jason, we're men. We avoid the doctor because we're immature and pathetic. But when I do go, I feel like I leave with less information than I went in with. They look at me. They see that I'm healthy. They say, you're fine. They tell me to drink more water. I said, not possible. Maybe they wouldn't order the testing that I want. They don't want to go the extra mile, Jason. I don't get the data. I don't get the game plan. Just to see you next year, jiggle your nuts, and then we're out the door.

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15:52Very powerful. Great way to get something more than just a one-time snapshot. It's going to track that health over your lifetime, build up a great custom plan just for you and your awesome little body. So take control of your health with Superpower for a limited time. How Long Gone listeners get$20 off their Superpower membership. Head to Superpower.com and use the code HOWLONG for$20 off. And after you sign up, they'll ask you how you heard about Superpower and tell them that the podcast How Long Gone sent you. Support for today's episode of How Long Gone comes from Square. You're probably familiar with it, Jason.

16:25You spend money. Square is the business platform that helps sellers become neighborhood favorites. Whether you're gearing up for a busy season or just trying to keep up with everyday demand, Square keeps your business running smoothly. From payments and POS to online orders, inventory, staff, and more, all in one place, you can focus on your customers. Not that pesky to-do list. Yeah, Chris, I see people using Square every day. I could be at a restaurant and their slick little iPad POS system is running. It's all sleek. There's no weird wires and crap everywhere. It's all chill. Or you go to some cool band, underground noise concert, and you want to buy their t-shirt with barf all over it.

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17:52Try it. Style it. Make it yours. Because the right pair doesn't just show up. It shows off. First day fits, handled. Walk out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest Croc store today. I'm sorry for the delay. I was literally chasing my dogs through the yard trying to get them to reenter the home because I'm really bad at country life. Country life. That makes two of us, and I'm not even a city kid, like you are you know what i mean i know it's really it's really a problem and i come up here with all these delusions i have a house outside the city that i share with my parents and i come up here with all these delusions and then it's just me like chasing my dogs through the yard screaming and upsetting my neighbors is there like a hot tub or anything so not a hot there's so not a hot tub if you came up you'd be like this is there's just like a library of old science fiction books and like my dad's modeling clay.

18:55Yeah, that's that's not like a sexy weekend. Is there maybe like a is there a bog anywhere? There's fully a bog. There's a valley. There's a valley. Basically, it's just my mom being like, check yourself for ticks and then a fight, a fight about what time dinner is. And then I thought I would differentiate. So I built another house 10 feet from behind my parents house. So now it's just my phone ringing and my dad being like, turn your lights off. We share an electricity bill. god damn it that is it's you love it though i feel like it's that you like the punishment i really do and like my every conversation i have with my friends is me being like i really need to create some boundaries and i'm being like yeah but if you really felt that way would you have built a home 10 feet behind your parents yeah no that's true as your place to quote unquote relax and my husband my poor husband is here with me for the first time and he's literally in the kitchen right now, like making an omelet under my dad's instruction.

19:50I feel like a monster. Hey, babe, babe, I got to go podcast with these guys. So if you just hang out with my dad. That's what I said. And then he was like, can you stay to finish the omelet? I was like, I can't be 10 minutes late. These guys are cool dudes. These are hip dudes who I never thought would want to speak to me. I can't be 10 minutes late because of your fucking omelet. That's the respect we deserve. That's the respect we deserve. Also, it's a little late for an omelet, but that's just me. you know the europeans eat omelets for dinner don't they that's true he referred to it as breakfast i didn't question him because but yes it's late you're like we're newly married i didn't question him i didn't want to start like a whole thing you know i don't want to start a thing i'm letting some stuff go because we're only a couple months in but yeah that's and also if he if he's gonna be in the dunham family he's got to learn how to make an omelet on his own doesn't he yeah he does and if he's gonna be i mean he's already been put through so much my mother took him she She was like, I want to take Luis to his first American supermarket.

20:47And then she chose one that was 45 minutes away. And so he had to do 45 minutes of car time with my mom each way just because she thought it was a more sort of more representative. Sure. What does your mom – I would love to know what your mother thinks the most representative grocery store in America is. Well, the thing is that the one she chose is not. It shows her sort of coastal delusion because the one she chose is like an upscale grocery store. Like more of an artisanal market, maybe? It's more of an eataly. It's called Guido's. Okay, okay. It's more of an eataly. It's more of an eataly. You couldn't really, in good conscience, call it a supermarket.

21:27You can't call something a supermarket if they make their own pancetta. Yeah, I agree with you. So your mom took him to a provisions house and not a supermarket. 150 % correct. It's like this, the place where we live in outside the city has an interesting, it's like sort of like half of it is provisions house. Half of it is like full meth and you can sort of make your decisions. And I tend to be attracted to the methier side of things. Different kind of provision. Thank you, my love. I'm just going to show off. thank you so much for the listeners at home look at this omelet guys do you want to describe it damn you have some country loaf there as well so that's that's and my husband just kissed you on the head i feel really we have some country bread i'm going to try to eat quietly during your bites thank you so much when we had leslie arfan on the podcast i remember her husband made her a sandwich and she ate it the whole time unapologetically during the podcast didn't try to eat quietly and it was a power move that honestly I was turned on by almost.

22:35Leslie Arfin, having spent a lot of time with her in my life, that surprises me in no way and is so fucking on brand and impressive. But I, as someone who both feels disgusting and has a podcast of my own, I would never chomp loudly during your podcast. Yeah, because we love to talk to fellow elite podcasters. That kind of gets us going a little bit. And I noticed those headphones you have on. That's no joke. You don't have the Beat Studio headphones on. I feel like I'm watching that Beatles doc right now. You got those cans on. I'm going to brag, which is these are actually my husband's a musician, and these are his professional headphones, which I also use for elite podcasting.

23:18You should see my podcast partner, my podcast wife. You guys know what it's like to have a podcast spouse. Yes. watching her proudly change the batteries in her microphone is like every 30 minutes she's like i've got i'm sorry we've got a hold i've got to change batteries i'm like you just want to show us that you know how to use this piece of equipment and that's impressive yeah actually i just met your podcast wife when we had our live show in new york she was a what a what a great gal she is she's the best she's the chicest she's the smartest she's the coolest i never i never really thought i'd have a friend like that that's how incredible she is um and she told me she had a lot of fun at your live show she got wasted we did a lot of um indoor smoking in the green room so it really felt like i was like watching the strokes in 2001 kind of vibe so cool i just um quit all forms of i'm the only asshole who started smoking at age 33 with like a crop a serious chronic illness it was sort of a okay it was a fuck you to the world that was really a fuck you to myself the finger the finger the finger turned inward yes and the fingers smelled bad and the thing and one of the things that made me stop is i was smoking like i was living in london i was smoking hand-rolled cigarettes and i woke up one morning and realized i had like a yellowed finger oh my and i was like i can't i can't be this person like i am literally i'm playing with fire when i just wake up in the morning how could i be adding this to the mix i've been smoking for two weeks and I look my hands look like Pete Doherty's something's gotta give exactly we gotta fix this energy was and I was like I'm not a person who like I'm also like if someone's if I if someone's gonna get a side effect from a medication it's me if someone's gonna get lung cancer it's me I'm not gonna be the William Burroughs of smoking I'm gonna be Jamie Winehouse of smoking you're not gonna do it for a detention for attention you're doing it for destruction yes and i don't want that i don't want that gig whereas my husband stylishly smokes like one cigarette per evening while looking at the moon and that's a different that's what jason thinks he looks like smoking and i've tried to tell him that it's not quite that he tells you he's looking at the moon but he's playing angry birds on his mobile just to let you know so you're 100 correct since um i since i'm a podcaster i want to turn the question towards you guys, which is how does it feel to be elite cool guy podcasters?

25:41I've listened to the pod. I've read the press. You guys are really taking over this pandemic with your kind of, you remind me in the best way of like, it's 2004 and I met some funny guys at Luke and Leroy's. Like what cool energy to be shopping around. That's great. Guys where you're like, I met these really funny guys. Should we like meet up with them for, should we meet up with them at Citarella tomorrow? and steal some things. It's really cool. Not to hook up with them, but not not hook up with us. That's exactly... Something might happen, but it's not our goal. It's not the goal, but if at the end of the night everyone hooks up, it's fine.

26:21Nothing is more 2004 than that. No, it's like when my friends and I went over to a guy named Fred Beebe's house and slept over on his mattress and we're like, who's going to get fingered? We're not sure. And it feels good to rediscover that energy. because I've been away from it for a long time. That's something that we didn't aim to provide, but I'm feeling very satisfied that we did. And look, it feels great. I mean, this is all fairly new still. You know what I mean? So I think that the train is still rolling. But yeah, it's been really fun. But also, you're only as elite and cool as the eye of the beholder.

27:01There's always someone else more elite and more cool. but you have to stop the tracks at some point if you want to make a buck. The coolest podcasts in the entire world make$38 a week on Patreon. 100%. They still got to work at an Amazon facility. I pretty much don't talk to straight guys, so this is a big... We've heard that a few times, that we get a pass there, luckily. So that really warms my heart more than a Luke and Leroy's reference. Well, Chris is good at gay baiting. I'm good at code switching, so we're like a nice little you know it kind of feels like a conjugal visit with a straight guy doesn't it yeah that's exactly what it is I read about you before I started listening and I liked that it took me a second to understand that I was dealing with heterosexuals the minute you were piped into my headphones I knew I was dealing with heterosexuals and that's not bad that's not bad there's still a few of us left on this planet we've definitely had turbo gay guests who halfway through the show are like wait you guys are straight and we're like yeah we're straight and they're like trying to hit the button that says leave meeting yeah totally they're raising their hand with a concerned question there's like that emoji that's like a skeptical like guy with like a detective's glasses on or whatever I recently was exposed to there's a thing where people you can like raise your hand in zoom with like a zoom emoji and that's something that people do to talk.

28:34I just saw, I'm not going to name names. By the way, if you guys are looking at me and I'm squinting, I look like a cartoon of someone who got jizz in her eye, but it's salad dressing. Oh, you've got a bit of, quote unquote, the lad's vinaigrette in the eye again, haven't you? That's exactly correct, sir. But yeah, I saw a very successful, famous actress raise her hand in a Zoom meeting using the raising hand emoji. And I was like, bitch, you're an Oscar nominee. You can just talk. It feels like a weird extension of consent gone too far. We're on a Zoom to talk. Yeah, everyone just talks. That's the only point.

29:15I'm surprised Helen Mirren knows how to even use that button. I have to say, my Zoom manners are getting so lax. I think it's like today is the last day. You guys are on my last day before my Christmas holiday begins. holiday is a loose term because i work from bed and i never stop but you know this is my last one of my last scheduled meetings but i feel like it's been getting real lazy like before i had something where i didn't like like now i'm literally like picking up the computer and having it on a tour through the home with me while i like tidy things up like this is this is the first zoom you've done in a week where you're wearing a shirt is what you're saying yes this is the first zoom i've done in a week where like i've done anything to arrange i mean I'm talking to straight guys.

29:57I had to like arrange myself a little bit. Interesting. So would you arrange less in a safe gay space if we were? I'd be wearing a nightgown if you were gay. You'd be wearing a Homer Simpson. Yes. 100%. I just found I was going through things and I just found a bra I purchased at a vintage store when I was 27 or so. That is like a cotton bra printed with Garfield eating lasagna. lasagna and i was like are you good did you say am i good yeah are you are you good not sure i'm like concerned i was like who did i think who did i think was the audience for this because it's interesting bra it's like sort of a risque shape but the pattern is okay so there's a there's a very certain type of fella who's gonna be like i haven't gone soft looking at this bra yeah who's going to be like i love your garfield bra so it has a little bit of a sexy cut to it despite having lasagna printed on it well it has to have it has to have the sexy cut to it otherwise sexy cut sobering print yeah the titty the titties the titties garfield kind of diagram those come together yeah that's a rare fella there's three guys out there who would like that and god bless you if you can find one of them i know i know i just i was like pulling it out the other day i I was like, should I show this to my husband?

31:19I was like, why don't I just keep it in the sort of like, you know, there's a lot like he's never seen girls. And I'm like, there's a lot that I just like to think like is publicly available for him to discover. And yet I'm somehow magically keeping private. Do you think that will remain the case? Well, I think you mean that he's never seen girls because we talk about this a lot on the podcast because Jason and his girlfriend don't follow each other on Instagram and he claims that's the secret to their relationship. And now I'm hearing that other people are doing that, but you can't, you can't go back.

31:47like you have to start like well does that mean that you don't know what your girlfriend's instagram personality is like well i kind of know a little bit because i have seen it here and there like we don't block each other i could i could pull up her profile and look at it if i if i choose to and i probably have done it a couple times but she's a wardrobe stylist so most of her instagram is just pictures of her work anyway how long have you two been together we've been together like four years we actually just got engaged um a couple months ago in italy congratulations collections in we got engaged at eataly culver at the westfield mall it was really nice city by the way i love going to that century city mall and enjoying like just like a little cappuccino at eataly and like a small like it feels so perverted i'd never been i'd never been until a couple weeks ago i had to do some alex and i my girlfriend and i were doing some shopping for my twin nieces for the holidays oh yeah i love i love malls like in a deep way i'm from atlanta where that's our culture like malls are part of our our dna yeah and man it felt like a warm hug walking into that shit oh it was great i love most because i grew up in new york we and in soho we didn't even have like any chain stores much less malls and so my friends my like friend isabel and i who were both like downtown new york kids used to beg our moms to take us to the paramus mall so we could go to the limited too and so like to me like that reverse commute into new jersey to get like baby teas with ice cream cones on them was what you're looking for the most chic glamorous and i remember like coming home with like a bag of just like two dollar crap from the pyramus mall and being like you can't get fancier than i know that's what i call perverted lena but i know but you know when you're you know you always want to be different you always want to get something that nobody else has and if you're a soho kid you're gonna have to go to the parameters mall wherever the fuck that is and hit the limited to t-o-o i'm so happy you know that and that's why you're a straight guy that i can talk to um that's cool about not following your girlfriend on instagram i mean i think this was like we met we got together he had never seen the show and then one by the time that it even occurred to him to watch it it was like I live with this person so why would I watch it's going to be a little much it's like watching 30 hours of your wife is insane it's also like 30 hours of me like getting railed by men he doesn't know yeah getting railed by Adam Driver for Christ's sake 30 hours of me like taking it from behind in a semi-violent way from Kylo Ren is like not what my husband fully needs to experience he's an open he's an open person who and i think he wouldn't a man can only be so open at a certain point he's like yeah you can only be so cool i know man a man can only be so cool no i feel that same way like i was saying my my girlfriend is a stylist and she did a shoot a few months ago with adrian brody who yeah you know i don't have to tell you an og sexy creep face he's been creepy and sexy since you guys have been in diapers oh my mom's friend sylvia plachi is his mom and i remember my mom telling me when i that her friend's son was adrian brody and me being like well i've got i found my way in yeah yeah i finally have a way to fuck adrian brody but she she simply did a photo shoot where she just like put him in a few different outfits and like spent four hours with them and i was just like i don't want to fucking hear about it i don't even want i don't want you to tell me that the shoot went well and the photos came out nicely and the magazine was happy with them i'm just like zero words should be spoken about this because i know how you feel about it it'd be like if like hey babe i had dua lipa come over and i gave her a massage she's gonna be like all right i'm done are you very um into dua lipa I mean, you know, I'm a straight guy with a penis and a brain, but I mean, I'm not like that's fatuated with her, but you know, I don't like, I don't like do he do as one of Jason's top picks.

36:03I'm a little more refined with, with, you know, what, what I'd love to know. I'm curious because like, I feel a little bit out of the loop. Like who are the top picks these days for you guys, for a couple of smart guys who, you know, are a couple of, as the kids would say, respectful King, who do you, who do you fancy? We were just talking about this the other night, actually. And because I don't think Alex was just like, I don't really think about celebrity dudes like that. She was like, I just don't. I don't think women think about it the same way as men do. Well, my thing is like, I don't. And I definitely don't.

36:38Now that I've met, like nothing will turn you off more than meeting an actor. Oh, yeah. You thought this guy was hot. You do one table read. It's over. Literally, though, you're right. Like there's nothing. Like if I meet actresses, I'm often like, oh, she's incredible. I want to be her friend. I want to know her. When I meet actors, I'm like, let's never revisit this. I mean, there are some great ones. The pussy just dries right up. Gotta say, just because I don't love vanity in a man, it's not hot to me. Like if a man has highlights, it's just over. It's over. Lena, to be fair, minor natural.

37:11It's kind of from the sun in LA. I don't want you to get caught up on that. Or you'll hear it a lot of like, if a guy ever like posts a selfie photo of them, then that's like a big deal breaker in terms of the vanity. I'm plugging in my computer while we talk, by the way. That's why I'm bending over and looking harried. No worries, bro. Also, I'm sorry that my dogs are deeply worked up at the moment. That's okay. I'll clean this all up in post, girl. Thank you, baby. It's about to be Christmas. I don't have the energy to even pretend to you that I care. but yeah i i also when you meet an actor in real life and you see the clothes that they dress themselves with their own brain versus the clothes that are given to them by a stylist or 100 or you know in a film you're like oh that's the clothes that's the clothing you picked out for yourself this is a massive turnoff well it's like i thought that you were like a man who knew had a layer and instead you're like wearing a dodger's t-shirt it's just really but but like there are definitely some like my friend i just made a movie with my friend john bernthal and it's like you know he's it's a totally brotherly relationship but he's he's like everything you would want him to be it's like you're like this guy plays like cool funny tough smart dudes in movies and like he's more than that all the way but like the reason that was so amazing to me is i was like it's the first time it's ever happened basically it blew your mind it took you yeah it blew my mind i was like i can't believe that like in real life you really are like a muay tai fighter or whatever because like most of the time most of the time it's someone being like i like um when i read that jeremy strong profile and it said he broke his foot running in dress shoes i was like i've worked with nine actors who broke their feet running in dress shoes like i don't know why anyone's making fun of geremy strong for something that all these motherfuckers are doing and it's a rite of passage in the end it sounds like yeah it sounds like 100 yeah i mean chris recently suffered an ankle injury from walking around london too much in a pair of not worn in la mer boots so it can happen to the it can happen to your best friend or neighbor It could happen to someone you love, and maybe we should make a PSA.

39:37But here's my question. Do you guys like my wallpaper? Oh, it's quite festive. Yeah, the tour we've gotten of the country house so far, even though it was not the point, it's nice. Thank you. That means a lot. I only am asking because I just moved in, and I built it during the pandemic. And the best detail was that my father was overseeing the renovation. It's a very small house. It's a modest house. I want you to know it's just a mere one-bedroom. one bedroom one bedroom with a couple of nooks where does the valet sleep my husband sleeps in the big house with my parents um we're still adjusting to that yeah it's all new i told you it's all new i'm not quite ready i'm not quite ready but uh what does this is that my dad oversaw the renovation and speaking of he sent me a photograph of shirtless men installing the roof and he wrote hot guys in quotes on your roof and i was like thanks papa and then he was like they they were they were hot they were hot but it was just i was like thanks for this eye candy i got it at like 10 a.m at work that's a cool that's a cool text to get from your dad though i can't say i've ever gotten something like that i would love i can't wait to have kids and text my daughter you like what you see pick to some random laborers my dad firstly my dad texts me all the time like sup bitch he's 70 he's so funny my dad was like oh gee like he used to say like in a really like he's really waspy my mom's really jewish my dad's really waspy and my dad used to say like before eddie was saying he'd be like get up out my grill kid like he's really funny and in a way that like if you get it you get it um but i he we were at dinner last night and we were talking about when my relationship with my husband started and how why i liked him as a texter so much because we were introduced via text i was like you know he was really i was like i'm used to like talking to a guy for two minutes and suddenly he texts you pick of ass and my dad was like and my dad was like pick of ass and he was so shaken and then he was like what was that guy russian and i was like he actually and i was like here's the best detail i was like papa he was russian you're right in soviet russia aztec pick of you pick of ass and like the thing that's fun is like some people can't say things like that to their dad but my dad is like so intellectual he's like very much just like um an observer of culture so he can like unemotionally hear that a guy texted me pick of ass and he's just interested in it on a social level i think papa sounds a lot like me how i might be in his situation so you're a good example of what my spawn might turn out like he's cool and fun and i feel like you would be a similar thing and and don't have your kids call you papa it's creepy and the energy is weird oh i know i wasn't gonna say anything but yeah i did it because like i was really obsessed with like um like like jane austen books and jane air and stuff as a kid and all the girls called their dads papa and so i trained myself to call him like i switched from conscious that's that's more of a papa and i think papa is a little bit of your own flavor added yeah and alissa always you know when we're in whenever we have any kind of issue she goes papa where are you papa and i'm like oh god um and but my mom said i can't call her mama because it makes her feel fat.

43:06Mama does have some of that energy to it. Yeah. So back to who, so your girlfriend was like, I don't find male actors hot in that way, but who are your... No, it's not like she doesn't find them hot. I think it's just like, I don't think women think about that as often as men think about that. Like we're in a group chat where there's a pic of Dua Lipa once a week minimum. And is it just like you're like, oh, she's looking good today. I like this fit. No, no, no. I'm jacking off to a photo of her every single day. Whereas my fiancee does not touch herself to a photo of Adrian Brody. We're not that respectful.

43:40We're respectful to a point. I'm into a Lea Seydoux, Sofia Coppola, Chloe Sev. His number one is Hayley Baldwin. He's Hayley Baldwin. He's burying the lead. But Hayley Baldwin has absolutely nothing to do with the gallery of indie icons you just named. Agreed. Because, Lena, you're going to learn quickly that I contain multitudes and to quote Walt Whitman your house has many mansions exactly exactly thank you for bringing that one stings but but I am interested because I know Lea Seydoux Sofia Coppola Chloe Sef can I say something I don't want to push a psychological reading but is it almost like you want to be that guy but in some ways you really are the Haley Baldwin guy damn damn it really makes you think yeah I feel like there's a Walt quote for that as well.

44:31You got something under your hat? A hundred percent. Well, I think what we're saying there is like you're a bit of a like it's a bit of a Philip Rothian who I am versus the man inside me kind of. I struggle with all of these things, but I think it's my imposter syndrome of being around smart people and sophisticated people when I'm just merely a bumpkin from the suburbs of atlanta who has graduated so i think maybe i'm maybe that's part of it can i say though that that psychology because you clearly are smart and clearly are sophisticated but that psychology of like i'm just a bumpkin is the psychology that's made every man who's hurt me hurt me is like i once had a boyfriend say to me how is this ever going to work out if you're an intellectual and I'm just a thug.

45:24This was like a Jewish man. This was a straight up Jewish man. I had a feeling he wasn't actually a thug. I was going to ask, but I kind of assumed. I would never, firstly, I would never use the word thug, but secondly, it's like he wasn't a heavy in the mafia. He was like a Jewish man who just had chosen not to go to college. You weren't being courted by DMX or something like that. He was a Jewish man who chose not to go to college is really good i'm simply a thug who's running his father's shoe business i don't know what you would want with me literally literally the energy but like but i was like oh these people who are like you're an intellectual and you are like going to best me with your the sophistication of your opinions so i'm like gonna use that as an excuse to like devalue myself but in the process hurt you deeply i'm not saying you've done that to anyone chris I'm not saying that.

46:19It's an open door for gaslighting. And you know us straights love to do that. We invented that. We make it look good. Vroom, vroom. I know. Actually, the level of style that you bring to gaslighting, because when women try to gaslight, I'm saying women do almost everything better. But when women try to gaslight each other, it's clunky. It's clunky, isn't it? Yeah. It doesn't work. It doesn't work in the same way. Damn, I never thought about it. I never really unpacked gaslighting as it pertains to sex. I had to explain love, but like in a great way, I'll stop saying my husband because it sounds very smug, Louis, who I am married to.

46:55Alyssa also always goes, my husband, who's my husband, who's chosen to marry me. Louis, like in a great way, is like not that, he's not that up on Instagram culture. He's not up on like new pop psychology terms. And when we met, I had to explain triggering to him. I had to explain gaslighting to him and I had to explain love bombing to him. Can you explain love bombing to me? Love bombing is like something that's attributed sort of to certain kind of narcissistic personalities or whatever. Often it can be both sexes do it, but women talk a lot about having it done to them, which is basically when you meet someone and they like attack you with praise, connection.