Podcast · 60 episodes
Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
by Esther Perel Global Media · English
Every Monday morning step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel on "Where Should We Begin" and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others. So…where should we begin? For an ad-free version of our podcast, plus bonus episodes, behind-the-scenes content, and more, visit our Office Hours section.
Latest episodes
My Ex, His AI Girlfriend, And Our KidsA woman discusses her 15-year divorce after discovering her husband relied on an AI companion (“AI girlfriend”) that shaped his thoughts/behavior.28 Sep 2026 · 53 min
Good Relationships Need Better FightsThe episode argues that “good relationships need better fights.” Conflict is framed as generative “relevance/mattering,” not toxicity—an art requiring intuition, practice, and the ability to hold…21 Sep 2026 · 58 min
How Many Times Can You Betray Me?This episode of Where Should We Begin centers on a couple’s “ruptures” in their 14-year relationship, culminating in postpartum conflict and a long pattern of betrayal and emotional withdrawal.14 Sep 2026 · 55 min
All episodes
My Ex, His AI Girlfriend, And Our KidsA woman discusses her 15-year divorce after discovering her husband relied on an AI companion (“AI girlfriend”) that shaped his thoughts/behavior.28 Sep 2026 · 53 min · 18 chapters
Good Relationships Need Better FightsThe episode argues that “good relationships need better fights.” Conflict is framed as generative “relevance/mattering,” not toxicity—an art requiring intuition, practice, and the ability to hold…21 Sep 2026 · 58 min · 14 chapters
How Many Times Can You Betray Me?This episode of Where Should We Begin centers on a couple’s “ruptures” in their 14-year relationship, culminating in postpartum conflict and a long pattern of betrayal and emotional withdrawal.14 Sep 2026 · 55 min · 16 chapters
On Again/Off AgainA one-time Esther Perel counseling session about a long on-again/off-again couple trying to break a repeating pattern: intense reconnection followed by emotional “flatlining” and shutdown.31 Aug 2026 · 53 min · 21 chapters
Will I Always Be Alone?A listener explores loneliness and “being alone,” feeling stuck in dating apps, and how past family/community dynamics shape intimacy, sex, and self-worth.24 Aug 2026 · 49 min · 16 chapters
Can I Be Loved?Whether and how someone can change who they’re attracted to; fear of vulnerability in relationships; “freeze” responses rooted in childhood family dynamics; responsibility/control and perfectionism;…17 Aug 2026 · 37 min · 14 chapters
Am I Being Gaslit?A one-time Esther Perel intervention phone call about whether the caller is being gaslit by her partner or is “overly sensitive,” and how to regain autonomy and boundaries.10 Aug 2026 · 36 min · 8 chapters
I Love My Partner, So Why Can’t I Let Go of My Ex?Maintaining presence and commitment in a current relationship while still loving an ex from the Philippines, amid no contact, cultural/language barriers, and unresolved grief/abandonment triggers.3 Aug 2026 · 51 min · 15 chapters
Burdens of the FamilyA couple’s domestic-violence–tinged, intergenerational trauma surfaces in their marriage as infidelity, emotional shutdown/“charging,” and daily conflict over responsibility (e.g., chores/dishes).27 Jul 2026 · 42 min · 8 chapters
Is Using ChatGPT Hurting My Relationship?Whether using ChatGPT in a volatile, long-distance recovery relationship helps emotional regulation and “breaks loops,” or crosses ethical/intimacy boundaries through secrecy—especially when the…20 Jul 2026 · 52 min · 14 chapters
You Slept With My Best FriendA counseling session about the long aftermath of an affair that was revealed about a year ago, even though it happened roughly 10 years earlier.13 Jul 2026 · 54 min · 25 chapters
My Hero Complex“Hero complex” and rescue fantasies in relationships—why the guest feels compelled to save women in crisis, how that turns into feeling used, and how to shift toward asking, receiving, and setting…29 Jun 2026 · 40 min · 10 chapters
20 Years Later, Esther Revisits Mating in CaptivityEsther Perel revisits her 2004 book Mating in Captivity during a live Sessions Live anniversary, reflecting on how relationships, sexuality, and “aliveness” have evolved over 20 years, and how…22 Jun 2026 · 44 min · 12 chapters
In This Relationship What Is "I" and What is "We"?A couple in their late 20s (Dominican Republic upbringing; now in the U.S.) explores how to balance “I” and “we” in a relationship that has become overly fused.15 Jun 2026 · 47 min · 15 chapters
Are You Abandoning Me or Am I Suffocating You?Identical twin brothers (both social workers) explore their recurring conflict pattern—one experiences the other’s closeness as “smothering,” the other experiences it as “abandoned”—and trace it to…8 Jun 2026 · 51 min · 16 chapters
Love in the Time of AI with Kashmir HillLove and relationships with AI companions/chatbots—how erotic roleplay, validation, and “always-on” empathy can feel like love, while raising concerns about delusion, ethics, privacy, and shifting…1 Jun 2026 · 50 min · 13 chapters
To Make Room for My Brother I Learned to DisappearA woman preparing for her wedding explores guilt, “disappearing” as a survival strategy, and how to make space for her own joy while her older autistic brother (non-speaking) lives with their parents.18 May 2026 · 56 min · 19 chapters
I Gave Him an Ultimatum. Now What?A one-time Esther Perel counseling session about a breakup ultimatum in an ethical non-monogamy/sometimes “poly” relationship where one partner lives with secrecy and the other demands transparency.11 May 2026 · 58 min · 20 chapters
My Parents Got Divorced, So Why Am I Still in the Middle?A woman (Esther Perel’s guest) explores how to stop being emotionally “in the middle” of her parents’ long-running conflict after their divorce, and how to build a genuine relationship with her…4 May 2026 · 58 min · 17 chapters
How To Start (Even When You Don't Know Where You're Going)How to start a career and find “life work” amid uncertainty, bad/no advice, AI-driven job search loneliness, and risk anxiety; the episode argues for pairing craft (learned expertise) with need (a…27 Apr 2026 · 55 min · 17 chapters
Is This the Person I'm Meant to Be With?A couple in their mid-30s explores whether they’re “meant to be” together after years of escalating conflict, pandemic-related isolation, and a “de-escalation” arrangement: living together but not as…20 Apr 2026 · 56 min · 25 chapters
Wedding Woes About My MomThe guest explores how to change the pattern of conflict with her non-biological mother (the mother who had an affair), especially as she prepares for her own wedding.13 Apr 2026 · 51 min · 15 chapters
Should I Have Another Baby?Whether to have a third child after a traumatic twin pregnancy, birth, and postpartum period, and how to separate genuine desire from fear, guilt, and “redemptive” hopes.6 Apr 2026 · 46 min · 10 chapters
When I'm Manic I CheatA married couple processes cheating, bipolar disorder, and whether consensual non-monogamy/open marriage is compatible with their relationship and values.30 Mar 2026 · 51 min · 18 chapters